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Sun April 23, 2017
(Magic Valley)
 
 
 
Hello My Name is Marco Antonio Garcia-Garcia. You followed my vehicle. Prepare to die
source: magicvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this performance
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Newly released documents reveal the sordid 20 year history of the first active duty admiral in U.S. history to be convicted of a felony. Come for kickbacks, stay for the sex with Vietnamese prostitutes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
There is just a tad bit of embellishment in this amusing obituary (and some nice shade thrown at the Sacramento Kings)
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Resident complains naked statue of Archimedes casts sphere of distraction
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hungry child
source: orig05.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Turns out trying to build a nuclear reactor in your backyard gets you yearly FBI visits for life. Who knew they'd take it so seriously?
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Let's go over this one more time: If you're out turkey hunting, don't disguise yourself as a turkey
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat This, Not That)
 
 
 
Snack Food Sunday is ready to snap into some meat snacks. What's your favorite? Do you buy it or make your own? Do pork rinds even qualify? OH YEAH
source: eatthis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Sorry I didn't get you a Mother's Day card, mom. I couldn't afford one. Because you ruined my credit rating. When I was seven. Remember?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vienna bartender appeals fine for public belching ... and wins. Blames eating a kebab with too much onion
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
ORLY?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Not news: 12-year-old boy goes out for a little joyride with car. News: 12-year-old boy gets nailed by police 1300km into his 4000km solo journey across Australia
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The USS Carl Vinson started joint drills with two Japanese destroyers in the western Pacific Ocean on Sunday, according to officials who absolutely pinky-sweared that the aircraft carrier was really there this time
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: You had ONE job
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Seriously Odd Jobs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBRZ Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
When transporting weed and Xanax you might want to make sure the car you're driving has a license plate. Or at least eat all the drugs
source: wbrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man claims to be addicted to eating trees. Subby is going out on a limb here, but maybe this stems from some deep-rooted problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yonhap News (Korea))
 
 
 
Not even sort-of News: Best Korea issues threats against a country for cooperating with U.N. sanctions. Most assuredly news: China
source: english.yonhapnews.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coconuts)
 
 
 
Upon investigation of remote Thai province's 'sacred pond' of black water that villagers believe cures blindness and all illness, officials find the water's magic ingredient to be feces. Holy crap
source: coconuts.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from beautiful downtown Juneau, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 22, 2017
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
How to cure alcoholism without giving up alcohol
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PV Magazine)
 
 
 
Texas, your former governor is a farking moron...but you already knew that
source: pv-magazine-usa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
In today's weather, watch out for early morning golf-ball size hashbrowns
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
"I want everyone to be happy. A goal in my life is to touch other people's lives and we're touching other people because of the Dum Dums bringing them happiness and joy and just having a piece of candy"
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"How to avoid huge walls" should be required reading for a captain
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
NOPE
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg (assets))
 
 
 
Photoshop this book cover
source: assets.bwbx.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
America's wang is burning, and penicillin won't stop this one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
One in five adults can't change a lightbulb, boil an egg, or get a headline greenlit on Fark
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Giving away free joints at a pot giveaway? Nope, that's not an arresting
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geekologie)
 
 
 
Let me just fix this blinking traffic light real quick
source: geekologie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this helping hand
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Give me a tip about grilling. I want to be a grillmaster
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Having your tooth pulled at the dentist is often unpleasant enough without worrying that your doctor will perform a procedure while riding a hoverboard
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
The second most controversial issue in this well-off suburb is tax rates. The most controversial is decibel limits for domestic servants
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Protip for drunk drivers: Don't try to turn into a cow by eating grass on roadside to beat your breathalyzer test, it won't work
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine man arrested in Virginia for trafficking in baby eels. It doesn't say if his hovercraft was impounded
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bangkok vows to rid city of unsightly, smelly street food stalls that block sidewalks and create pedestrian chaos. NYC officials: "Wait, they can do that?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado marijuana DUIs drop 33% in 1Q of 2017. Which can be pretty much summed up in two words. Domino's delivers
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Just a reminder: if your doctor performs his liposuction procedures in a barn, you may want to postpone your appointment
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Video
 
Man volunteers to be hooked up to a labor pain simulation machine, and it's a scream
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Pot sales are helping to send Colorado kids to college. Top that, Betsy DeVos
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Drones may be best hope for reducing risk of shark attack. They might also provide pics of your demise, so be sure to do something interesting if you're attacked
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Teacher takes money from students for a class trip to Germany and since this is Fark you know how it ends
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club is getting all brainy this weekend, as we debate which are the best science books of all time (in what will likely turn out to be a Sagan vs Hawking geek fight)
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
American Airlines gets itself some free publicity thanks to another idiot shooting vertical video. Can't wait to fly tomorrow
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Expect lots of frowning photographs in ID's from Rhode Island as they will no longer allow you to smile while having your picture taken
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Giving away free joints at a pot giveaway? Yep, that's an arresting
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hundreds of years after starting the world's addiction to coal power, Britain finally kicks the habit: no coal burned for 24 hours and counting
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Solo kind of man
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Duke - a former feral rescued from the streets - now spends his days working at UCSF Medical Center as a therapy cat. Assigned to the intensive care unit, he raises his patients' spirits one purr at a time on Caturday
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worchester News)
 
 
 
4-year-old girl goes on a bike ride and raises £783 for toys for a children's hospital, makes the rest of us look lazy and heartless
source: worcesternews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Victorian era vibrator generates excitement in Ireland. Don't know why, it's not shaped like a dragon's wang, doesn't lay eggs in you and hasn't got a webcam interface. I guess our Great-great Nanas were more easily thrilled (Not safe for work)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Apparently smuggling semen into Laos is a thing
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
Protip: If you are going to rob a store by writing a note demanding money you might want to make sure you write it out legibly so the clerk can read it
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Checks all available flights out of Florida, makes note to self: "Do NOT fly out of Williston Municipal Airport"
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently Air Marshals do not receive sufficient on-the-job training to know they shouldn't leave loaded guns in a plane's lavatory
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Video of Somali pirates versus cargo ship's security guards shows guards could use more range time, better guns
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Plants are not only trying to reproduce in the spring--pollen raises the suicide rate in humans. I, for one, welcome our new angiospermian overlords
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 21, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
I want to buy two, non-adjacent, lots from the same owner. Is it legal/ethical to ask them to overprice one and underprice the other? More details in thread. Tag is for subby, of course
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
No, you cannot have the cheese. Nachos
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth turns 91 with quiet day, gun salutes
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fredericksburg)
 
 
 
How many licks does it take to get to the center?
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Partially cloaked alien spaceship photographed out window of ISS. Nothing to see here, move along
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mexico says deportation of Mexicans to Mexico violated rules. Apparently there are no rules against pointing your citizens north to the U.S. or cashing in on the $20 Billion in remittances sent back to Mexico year after year
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Lonely Tree Edition
source: strizange.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Great day for Trump III, bagging a buffalo, a cheetah, dozens of flamingos
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
"What's that guy in the car behind me doing honking and waving? Go around, dude. Jeez"
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mysterious train scene
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Churches don't normally get upset about anonymous donations. Normally
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
North Korea's Western spokesman: 'No we definitely don't have any concentration camps, nope, not at all. This is a peaceful country.' What about prison camps? 'Oh yeah sure we got, like, a tonna those'
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Apple has developed fake human sweat. Don't you idiots know that's the only way we could spot first generation terminators?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
District of Columbia drivers' licenses are being revised to read "Washington, D.C.," instead of "District of Columbia" on news that the average Arby's reject who works for TSA doesn't know what "District of Columbia" means
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tuck Frump? Jice nacket, umb dass
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man who doesn't use social media because "it gets people in trouble" surprised to learn a wanted fugitive has started a new life and posed as him on Facebook
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
This is why you don't watch porn while emailing out class assignments and copy/pasting links from your browser, Professor
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scientists may have found a "wonder-drug" that will stop all neurodegenerative brain diseases, including duh
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Today's totally not a Mad Lib headline: "South Korean man dies after eating toads"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Beat me, Whip me, Make me write checks
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"It has been 50 years since we buried a time capsule, now we want to open it. Anyone know where the heck it is?"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spring bouquet
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
This could very well be the ugliest city flag that nobody knows about
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
California considers bill that would make it illegal for schools to start before 8:30 a.m. Apparently kids are getting up too early
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Having a drink? Make it a shot, it's the healthier alternative
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Supreme Court allows Arkansas to at least execute the black guys before lethal injection drug expires
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Latest attorney tactic when defending client accused of rape: Women are good liars
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China has put their bombers on high alert and the rest of their military aircraft are being brought up to full readiness for what I'm sure is no reason whatsoever
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump: "Luciano Pavarotti's a friend of mine, great friend of mine". Fark; Pavarotti died in 2007
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN FC)
 
 
 
Looks like the Dortmund bomb attack may have been less "True Lies" and more "Trading Places"
source: espnfc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
All those sweeping generalizations you had about millennials are most likely true
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
SeaWorld Texas celebrates the birth of what might be the last captive killer whale
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 20, 2017
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Pigeons can build and pass on wisdom across generations. Which explains why they keep doing what they do to statues of politicians
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Because Hans Delbrück's brain was unavailable
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
*picks 3 random words from bag* ... "California weed nuns"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
No quiero que los patitos
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Bridge is closed. Moose out front shoulda toldya
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
150 years later, slavery is still killing the South
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Looking at this guy's mugshot, we could have figured out the first part of the headline
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
How bad do you have to drive before people start a Facebook page warning other drivers of your whereabouts?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Solar-powered "Mr. Trash-Wheel" has now removed 1.1 million lbs of rubbish from Baltimore's Inner Harbor, including 8.9 million cigarette butts and half a million polystyrene containers. No word on how many condoms or dead bodies it's picked up
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scary ceiling
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Construction project threatened by Rusty Patch Bumblebee which has been recently added to the endangered species list. Ironically, the project was to build a huge life-size statue of Bea Arthur
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Shots fired in downtown Seattle area. Two police officers wounded, one suspect dead, the other is in custody
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Slamming your girlfriend through a glass table, exposing yourself to her 13 year-old son, and stealing Medicaid funds for strippers is no way to run a retirement home, dad
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Headline: FDA wants to see new hand sanitizer studies. Reality: People freaking out that hand sanitizer will kill us all. Farkliters: Hand sanitizer tastes yummy
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Thirsty Beaver telling grabbers to keep their hands off
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Coast Daily)
 
 
 
To teach his dog a lesson, Florida Man: c) bites dog
source: spacecoastdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Not all 'Florida Man' stories are bad. Here's a guy who spends his only day off scrubbing away damage from the elements on tombstones so veterans' graves can be properly honored
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: From herbs in the window to full-blown backyard setups, for many this is the time to plan the 2017 garden. What are you growing? Share your suggestions to keep Farkers set up with fresh produce
source: bhg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Man facing charges for letting Cobra escape, even though no one batted an eye when GI Joe did the same thing every week
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Police say man touched woman inappropriately in Market Basket, which, we might assume, is near the bread basket?
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Réinitialiser l'horloge
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
(Re)Photoshop this unusual transportation
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Best Korea hold volleyball game at nuclear test site. US Navy prepares to send in Maverick and Goose
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Remember that horror movie called 'Rubber' about the killer tire? Yup, it's real
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Mercury)
 
 
 
The Best and Worst Video Games to Play Stoned. Most Farkers unaware that any other ways exist
source: portlandmercury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Nothing bizarre about feeding, bathing and living with your dead relative for years because they're 'still alive'. Nothing bizarre at all
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Ever get the sense that you were supposed to do something, and just didn't manage to remember? Ever think you should write it down so you don't forget? Huh. About that. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, 4/20 edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Next time you're having trouble finding porn on the Internet, try Twitter's 'trending' list
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ukrainian girl twerking on the side of the road causes major accident (w/video)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
And then this guy just pulls over to the side of the road and sets himself on fire
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC Metro Chief: Thanks for all the funding, but we're going to need another $15.5 billion so we can run on time and not kill people and stuff
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Yes, there is activity at a North Korean nuclear test site. Making missiles? No it's more like 5-serving-3
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dear God, it's the gathering of the Trumpalos
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Tourists, here are some of the dark secrets of the Times Square Olive Garden ... for when you visit NYC and its great restaurants
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Ever wonder how 4/20 became forever linked with pot?
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
"Crazy criminals are appreciated, stupid criminals are appreciated. We recommend that if you are wanted, to post on Facebook or Instagram, and let us know where you are"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the Front page of the Bangor Daily News: Colon to visit Waldo County General Hospital. Nobby Nobbs seen skulking around, pilfering small items
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Irish man killed by 40 tonnes of cheese
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Inserting a live eel up your anus is not a valid home remedy in fixing constipation, son
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
North Korea vows a "super mighty preemptive strike" against the US if aggressive actions continue
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you picked "South Korea" as the next country that Donald Trump would offend via a wild historical inaccuracy - step up and collect your prize
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this glass of fruit
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Don't condemn this couple for giving birth so the infant's organs can be harvested, have a little heart
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
But nothing's predictable in this tough, harsh, highly competitive world where today's champion is tomorrow's crocodile shiat
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teacher banned from classroom for inappropriate behavior - including 'twanging a pupil's thong'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
When a body finds a body in a body it is alarming
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
California cop detained in Taiwan after TSA misses gun and ammo in her carry-on bag at LAX. TSA admits 'standard procedures were not followed'
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
He trafficked more cocaine before 9 AM than most drug mules do all day
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Squid)
 
 
 
US military now recognizes 'Humanism' as a valid belief system like any other religion, paving the way for Pastafarian chaplains and lay leaders
source: americanhumanist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yay, I inherited a giant castle-like home and estate. Boo, I can't afford to take care of it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
If you live in Baltimore or Sacramento...you're ugly
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Bill O'Reilly thinks fondly back to those days when old white guys could order pretty ladies around and sometimes convince them to fark
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 624: "Simply Beautiful 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 19, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Hotel grants guest's strange request. Where's the Walken tag when you need it?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Airline Captain: Today your flight is delayed because we're having a wrestling match between a quarrelling couple. We will be on our way as soon as one of them is pinned
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
The suspect was taken into custody without incident - He was too exhausted to resist
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Not only did Aaron Hernandez get out of jail early, his conviction will be vacated
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
UFOs make surprise landing in rapeseed field to analyse why our earthling nutters drag wooden boards around in fields to make it look like they've landed there to study the genetic make-up of the rapeseed being grown
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Top generals, who are quietly building a bomb proof Oval Office under Mar-a-Lago, insist that if North Korea launches a missile the U.S military will be able to shoot it down
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That world's oldest woman who is now from Jamaica? Her really old son of 97 has just died
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The U.S. Air Force is conducting a low-level, unannounced war against British ponies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"You must construct additional pylons. You must construct additional pylons, and maybe a bit more sturdy than that one"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Shekere)
 
 
 
Photoshop an out-of-this-gourd instrument
source: musicmotion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
On this edition of 'That's So Canadian,' Saskatoon ranchers stunned on discovery of a beaver herding 150 cattle
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
The Brewers Association, the nonprofit trade group representing small and independent craft brewers, wants to "crack down" on sexist beer ads and labels. They said "Crack" heh heh
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Sarasota Open is now the sexiest tennis match in the country
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Spanish government admits it would be woefully unprepared to deal with a zombie apocalypse
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Woman saves man's life on their first date, earns second date invite
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Rock-of-Gibraltar-sized asteroid will pass closer to Earth today than in 400 years. I want to show scientists' full quote about its chances of impact, but due to Fark's character limits can only include: "...the asteroid will collide with our planet"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this modern temple
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The first scientific evidence of a higher state of consciousness has been found in people tripping on acid. Damn straight, dude, I told you the walls could breathe
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Russia claims it can wipe out U.S. Navy with a single electronic bomb. Huh, apparently they've managed to weaponize Skrillex
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Michigan is moving to become the final state in the country to stop allowing police officers to legally have sex with prostitutes they are investigating
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ex-girlfriend of "Facebook killer" doesn't know if she wants to keep her name that he spoke on the video because the internet has been telling her she's the one who should have died. You're not helping, internet
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bill O'Reilly has left Fox News to spend more time with your wife
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Chihuahua riding with drunken owner laps up spilled vodka, requires vet visit to sober up. Your dog wants an Alka-Seltzer
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
What is considered proper behavior when visiting the White House? If you're Gronk, it's whatever the hell you want it to be
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Making harassing calls while walking around in your underwear is no way to go through life, grandma
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Best Korea shows a video of it destroying a U.S. city with nuclear missiles. Fark: In a new musical show
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Tom Brady to skip hanging with his pal Donald at the White House for "family matters." Because watching Steve Urkel does sound more fun than hanging with President Trump
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This giant spider web that covers a whole field is creepy and beautiful at the same time, and would cause the largest karate imitation after running into it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
When coming across a dead pigeon in the street do not try to give it CPR, let it go cause it's dead
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The Carl Vinson carrier group wasn't actually underway to Best Korea to provoke Kim Jong Un in a game of nuclear brinksmanship, but since we've had a week to think about it, it is now. Bottoms up, last call
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Air Canada pilot: We'll soon be landing in London. Does anyone have an extra rear wheel to lend us?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Only thing more depressing than losing your wallet is finding out some people have been getting together for a drinking challenge in your honor for 14 years without inviting you
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Semi filled with 20,000 pounds of cheese bursts into flames in what qualifies as a natural disaster in Wisconsin
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trash cleanup
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nope. Not gonna die. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Woman accused of showing deputy her breasts in government building
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Aaron Hernandez kills again. In related news, Belichick plans to ask for a supplemental draft pick
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Breathalyzer officer fired after showing up for work drunk
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
When you're a registered sex offender and you don't have any children of your own, you should probably skip out on attending high school music recitals
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Be careful taking selfies while wearing mirrored sunglasses
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Facebook Live murderer undone by his love for the golden arches. Hero tag is for the crew kid who called 911
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
When a 70-year-old man gets a 30-year-old pregnant, where should she work? The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, obviously
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
We're taking all bets on who is lying . . . the Chief of Police, or the District Attorney
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
For good or for bad, the person you were at 14 will be nothing like the person you'll be at 77
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Massachusetts just got around to dismissing 20,000 drug cases where the scientific evidence was faked. It's been so long in coming that the state employee who did the faking has already gone to prison and been released
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Traffic unable to tear along the dotted lions
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 18, 2017
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It was the cocaine. o_O
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Harry Potter arrested for marijuana possession, netting negative ten points for Gryffindor. Man, that seems more like a HufflePuff thing
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
There's a new world's oldest woman, and she's also the last living subject of Queen Victoria
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit crashing into airport fences with Air Force One nearby
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Attention: Fourteen animals have escaped the local petting zoo and roam the city. Please remain calm and stay inside. This is not a drill...or a Pixar movie
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Head of U.S.Homeland Security to politicians: You don't like immigration enforcement? Change the law or "shut up," and support the men and women on the front lines
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
No, I don't want to (expletive) pray with you, so stop asking
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Court of Appeals tosses out hog farm lawsuit on technicality, likely angering Dirt Farm Harry who's not your average pig and won't just roll with it
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
ADIDAS sends runners congratulatory email for "surviving the Boston Marathon." In other news, Adidas has a new position open in its email marketing department
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My News LA)
 
 
 
Bear killed by truck on Ronald Reagan Freeway. Suck it, Russians. Bear Roadkill Trifecta in play
source: mynewsla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Any adult dressed as the Easter Bunny is terrifying 🐰
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Photoshop this safety dance
source: multifiles.pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Now it's Aquaman's turn to take a shot at Atlanta traffic
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Let's look at today's wrongfully convicted thanks to police fraud report. Oh boy
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
UN worker accused of robbing banks during his lunch breaks
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
There is a rabid ferret on the loose in Pennsyltucky
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Alex Jones Custody lawyer : He's not REALLY nuts at all; those rants are just an act. Alex Jones on FB on the way to court: This is 100% real and anyone who says otherwise is part of a globalist plot to destroy me. Lawyer: Can I get paid in cash?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
April the giraffe's live birth is the second most live-viewed channel in YouTube's history. Better luck next time, pilgrim
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
CDC report shows the number of Americans suffering severe mental disorders has increased. No word on the current number of Americans enjoying them
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"How do you get to Berlin? Well, take a right at Wank Town, get on the Autobahn at Breast Town, take the Humping Hamlet exit and go right through Screwing Creek"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Skydiver goes to hospital after "accident" which is better than going to the morgue which is what usually happens when a skydiver has an accident
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man making a point
source: multifiles.pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good.is)
 
 
 
That stench you smell is coming from Odessa, Texas. Good thing there was a massive tire fire to cover it up
source: good.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Air Force scrambles fighter jets after pair of Russian bombers slip past Sarah Palin to buzz Alaskan airspace
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man, 71, uses the old "Devil made me do it" defense after he's caught asking teen for sex (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Most DC thing ever? Apartment building near ballpark bans balcony banners after residents use them to argue about politics
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Black bear hit by car. Warning: these bear pictures are a bit grisly. They're grisly bear pictures, get it? Do you get it? Grisly...bear pictures. Because he got hit by a car. Not grizzly. Grisly. That's the joke
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Pot smoking "ghost hunters" arrested for breaking into an old middle school. They'd have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling police officers
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Look out drug-sniffing police dogs, Arizona has just sworn in their first drug-sniffing lizard
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Goat yoga
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
NewsFlash
 
Facebook Live killer changes status to Facebook Dead
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Chinese family unearths 'priceless ancient artifacts' thinking they'll be rich beyond their wildest dreams only to find out they're really just WWII explosives left by the Japanese
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
'Sorry, officer, I completely forgot I was packing a loaded firearm when I boarded the plane. Oh yeah, should also mention I was the pilot'
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
18-year-old man arrested for yelling f**k next to 75-year-old woman, which seems perfectly reasonable to do, judging from hickey she left on his neck
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
High school girl brings stun gun to school, gives random students the business end
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You may call it a miracle whip, but one university powers its buildings using 1,250 gallons of mayonnaise
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Majority of Americans who say they use marijuana are parents, study finds
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Death Race 2017, courtesy of Tennessee
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today the last surviving Doolittle Raider will toast to the memory of his comrades on the 75th anniversary of their incredible mission
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
In today's episode of Sure, That'll Work: NYC launches rat birth control program
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this misapplied pool floatie
source: horsechannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
"Bunnies don't poop eggs"
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Words you like to hear while walking along greenway: Peaceful, serene, pleasant. Words you don't like to hear while walking along greenway: Snake mating ball
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana teen finds 'ginormous' morel mushroom, with pic of teen who obviously thinks it's a magic mushroom
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
PM Theresa May calls parliamentary elections for early June
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, ya know. We herd cattle differently up here in Canada
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
So he says to her, "I knew you were farking the Dear Leader's father; you used to always look like you were feeling a little Il"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Renting in L.A. has gotten crazy, which is insane considering how large L.A. is. One of the possible solutions is increasing rent control - only buildings built before 1978 are currently eligible
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Click to see the most "I'd do it again it was totally worth it" mugshot you'll ever see
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
United condemned for serving friskey sours
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Canada trying to convict man of having too few divorces
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un has copyrighted his awful haircut in North Korea, meaning no one else can walk around looking like a third-rate Shemp Howard
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 17, 2017
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
"And that's why my uncle isn't allowed to visit me OR go to the movies anymore"
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Man wrecks his Corvette twice in seven minutes. Why yes, drugs were involved
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Walmart shoppers forget they're not in a Chuck-E-Cheese
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
So have you heard the one about the Russian man who walked into a computer store with a rooster and geese in his suitcase?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
It's the Day of the Iguana in South Florida and that's not a good thing
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Milk truck overturns on highway; cleaning crew of thousands of kitty cats rushed to scene
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Who says smoking pot doesn't make you paranoid: 31% of marijuana users prefer using alone and hiding it from everyone
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Lesson learned: when you see an elderly stranger with dementia wandering onto train tracks at railway crossing, don't be a hero
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You dumbass, are you TRYING to get people killed?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
The 'Prince of pot' claims to smoke and drive every day and that it does not impair your ability to drive. Subby forsees a lot of pull overs by police in his future
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin American-Statesman)
 
 
 
If you live in Austin, TX, tomorrow we're gonna need you to sit back, relax, take a couple deep, cleansing breaths, and maybe enjoy a cocktail or three. as the mayor has officially declared Tuesday as "Austin Everybody Chill Out Day"
source: mystatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
So many bodies were piling up at the LA County coroner's office that they had to start outsourcing some of the work. Bottom line, don't die in the City of Angels
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bald, wrinkly foursome
source: img.buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Mall shooter who killed 5 dies "mysteriously" while awaiting trial
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
"Tune-in" at 8PM EDT for this week's Paul's Memory Bank. Geez, we're up to "J" already? At the end there will be a quickie tribute to J. Geils. Well, it's his band since he doesn't do vocals. But at least it starts with J
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you live in Pennsylvania, New York, Indiana or Michigan, you get to join the good people of Ohio in playing Lunatic on the Loose as the police have no idea where he went. Stay safe
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Zoning commish: "Your bar is too close to the road" Bar owner: *pound* *saw* *pound* *pound* *saw* *nail* *screw* *pound* *saw* *pound* *pound* *saw* *nail* *screw* "How about now?" Zoning commish: "Well alrighty then"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Public Radio)
 
 
 
President to visit dildo factory
source: wpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
The AI has analyzed your life and attitudes and determined you are at high risk for futurecrime, so I sentence you to an additional 15 years in prison. Is this A) a scene from a Gibson novel B) a nightmare future? C) happening right now?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
United announces that it will no longer permit its crews to displace already-seated passengers, will have to find other reasons to beat them instead
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Climbing Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ascent
source: adirondackalmanack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
General Sherman calls upon the power of Thor to continue his siege on Atlanta
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Moron puts racist sign in yard but discovers his racism is incorrect. Hilarious racism ensues
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
A pastor and a geneticist team up to find Jesus' DNA, offering hope for those of us holding out for a new sequel to Jurassic Park
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Woundwort)
 
 
 
Because nothing says "Happy Easter" like sitting down as a family and watching that timeless classic "Watership Down" with all the cute little bunnies... OHMYGOD
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Campfires banned at Walt Disney World. Man, the waiting lines must be intense this time of year
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dylan Roof's sentencing, the last meal on the Titanic, and the fate of Uber in Italy. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-09 to Sat 2017-04-15
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The latest fitness trend? "Powwow sweat," where traditional Indian dances are turned into exercise moves. Nobody could possibly have a problem with this
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Sad: Teenager battling cancer is unable to go to her prom. Awesome: So the other students bring the prom to her
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
'Exorcists' attempt to cast government demons out of the AT&T building in lower Manhattan thinking it's a NSA spy building
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Shubie)
 
 
 
Photoshop this self-centered surfer
source: athinorama.gr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC Pizza Rat gets tired of pizza slices, now has a hankering for human flesh
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Hate buffet of conspiracy theories Alex Jones is just "playing a character," claims his attorney, who tried to defend his client's bigotry in a custody hearing over his three children
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nursery lets the kids go clambering over trees, rolling around in the mud, sawing wood, chopping vegetables and cooking lunch on an open fire. This should go well
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Addressing loneliness in children can prevent a lifetime of loneliness in adults
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
This is certainly going to calm down tensions on the Korean Peninsula
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Not satisfied with the tension surrounding North Korea? Awesome. Here come Russian and Chinese surveillance ships to follow U.S.S. Carl Vinson's every move
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Do you seek to engage in or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities, espionage, sabotage, or genocide? ☑ If this box is checked, did your parent fill out this form for you? ☑
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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