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Sun April 16, 2017
(Mic)
 
 
 
Did you catch the deplorable punching of a girl in the face at the Berkeley demonstration? You can now
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
An elderly man has died while receiving a lap dance at a strip club in Texas. Fark: The dancer initially thought he could have been faking to get out of paying his bill
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bazooka Josephine)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bubble blower
source: flanagansmiles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
NewsFlash
 
Cleveland man at large killing random people on Facebook Live
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Local uproar about cheese waste fed to cattle. No whey - don't they know that's where cheeseburgers come from?
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Article on how getting a six pack is a "life changing event." Submitted 26 minutes before subby has to be at the gym
source: vitals.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Millennials will never retire
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Technology kills yet another career: flying traffic reporter
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Bride and groom dragged off of United flight for having the audacity to sit in some empty seats so a tired, exhausted passenger could sleep comfortably in their row
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The last thing you expect to find in your chocolate cake is a snake, but here we are
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Misleading headline is misleading
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this posturing politician
source: c.o0bg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A homeless family needed a home in Washington, DC. How did the city respond? By giving them bus tickets to North Carolina
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
U.S. seen shrugging its shoulders, tapping its foot in a corner at the very thought that North Korea's unsuccessful missile launch 'may have been caused by some sort of cyber attack'
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Texas supreme court denies request from the douchenozzle of the decade to be released from prison
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If your county sheriff can withdraw $160K from the jail's food account and invest it into a used car lot without winding up taking all her own meals at jail's dining facility, you might be living in Alabama
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Kitchn)
 
 
 
Not all snacks have to be full of sugar or salt or fat or other unhealthy stuff. Snack Food Sunday is looking for something healthly to munch on before chowing down on the 5,000 calorie Easter dinner
source: thekitchn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Wearing a bunny suit doesn't mean you won't get slapped for being a jerk, but if you're a police officer, you may want to restrain yourself
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas warns residents about largest outbreak of mumps in over two decades. If only there were something, say a common vaccine, that could have prevented such an outbreak
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Kansas woman tweets her love of Dr. Pepper, so the company surprises her with an outdoor Dr. Pepper soda fountain. In hopefully related news, subby would like to publicly express his love of Maker's Mark, truly the best bourbon in the world
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Awwwwww who's a good magpie? Yes you are. Yes you are. You're a good magpie"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Taxpayers use spray paint to creatively highlight to city what potholes need immediate repair. "The potholes [have] been here for a long time, but the penis, that was just put there last night"
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Before you steal all that Easter chocolate from your kids and gorge it down, here's what an Easter egg chocolate binge does to your body
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this free car wash
source: s3.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Easter tradition
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
When installing a new LED screen for advertising on the platform of a a metro station, it really, really, really, really helps to setup a wi-fi password, even if you're still in the testing phase after install
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
List a professor's occupation as a toilet cleaner on his fishing license? That's a lawsuit
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
If barber tells you haircuts cost $10, but you only got $2, you can't make up the $8 difference by shooting the barber. What about the tip?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Mexico is welcoming U.S. deportees with open arms
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHL)
 
 
 
In honor of Lord Stanley, tell us your brush with Hockey greatness
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Kramer and Newman's cunning plan foiled
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from Juneau, Alaska, it's the return of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Welcome back our host from his long absence starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 15, 2017
(Some experimenter)
 
 
 
ER nurse: "You are the stupidest person I've ever met." People share stupid things they've done out of sheer curiosity. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say there are few - if any - females among these would-be Einsteins
source: knowable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Man celebrating his release from prison earlier in the day shot and killed at his own party
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Man, tired of his noisy neighbors, buys a 'building shaker' and leaves it on all weekend to annoy them. BRILLIANT
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
The cannon only shot about 3 feet, so the obvious answer is to double the amount of gun powder right? WRONG
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
Video
 
During North Korea's grand military parade, one of the missiles passing by in the background of news report appears to have a major papier-mâché malfunction
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PostImage)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ball maker
source: s9.postimg.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The sea of Japan is safe... for now
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
DNA tests can often reveal surprising information .... like a husband and wife being biological twins
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Navy SEAL in trouble for unauthorized repeated deep infiltration and extraction missions
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Last survivor of the 19th century dies, Italian woman who outlasted nearly as many Italian governments as years she was alive
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man sought by police caught in air conditioning duct. Mark up another one for the cold case files
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
While it's important to stay hydrated, you certainly can't use that defense when you're caught dragging a rainwater collection tank on a broken trailer attached to an unregistered car while under the influence of meth
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
Photoshop this song and dance routine
source: fresnobee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
The bizarre history of The Easter Bunny
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If you're going to impersonate a cop, do not pull over real cops. Florida difficulty: the real cop was in full uniform
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police find tens of thousands of stolen panties and bras in man's house after brief search
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Didn't get your taxes done in time for April 15th? Relax, you have until Tuesday. No, really
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered what a fuel tanker exploding on I-310 near Bumfuddle, Louisiana looks like, wonder no more
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Yes, cows dig jazz
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korea flaunts long-range missiles in massive parade, ocean placed on high alert
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Screaming at state trooper who pulled you over after fleeing accident you caused works about as well as screaming at clouds, probably less
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
None shall pass: residents near the Hollywood Sign happy to see littering, urinating-in-the-bushes tourists gone, but protesters will rally Saturday to demand access at closed gate
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
I put the "strip" in strip mall
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fictional Guy)
 
 
 
This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club wants to know which fictional character would you most like to be real? And, conversely, which one would you most *not* want to see in this reality?
source: fandomania.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
$43M found in Nigerian apartment. Up to 5% of the funds to be made available to the person who facilitated the discovery. No, seriously
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Babby R Formed
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this splendid esplanade
source: intoscana.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
This is how it's done. Pay attention, United
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buy catnip instead)
 
 
 
We interrupt your normally scheduled Caturday thread to bring you a very important reminder: Easter Lilies - including the leaves, pollen and even the water from the vase can be deadly to cats, so please be careful this weekend
source: wirralglobe.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Zero day remote exploits for every Windows system from XP to Windows 8 and Server 2012 are now in the wild. Shut down everything listening to port 445 and 139. In other news, we're pretty good at the cyber
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Cab driver gives dazed woodpecker a free ride through the streets of Chicago. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Dropping bombs and sending in troops and materiel to potential war zones is all well and good, but without an actual strategy and defined goals from the commander-in-chief, you ain't blaming this fiasco on us, "sir"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Judge to Arkansas regarding the seven upcoming executions: "Not so fast"
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Don't say he's a hypocrite, just say he's "flexible"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man printing out photos of child porn at the local pharmacy apparently got so excited he was foaming at the mouth
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Bonehead family thinks its a good idea to set their parakeet free. So does their dog
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Old: Fried chicken and waffles. New: Fried chicken and vodka. Florida: Fried chicken and vodka in a random stranger's house
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The Avondale, Arizona Police Department just swore in a bearded dragon as their newest cop
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 14, 2017
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Cop pulls a couple of ladies over then gets charged with gross sexual imposition and abduction for assaulting two women with a sex toy. This thread is dildos from the get go
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Members of Best Korea's second army corps arrested for mocking Kim Jong Un after referring to him as a kindergartner and mentally ill. This will not end well
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Firetruck catches fire
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida ranks 49th in safe driving report. On the other hand, they lead the pack in unsafe everything else
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
What a slow news day in Minneapolis may look like
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Step right up, folks, and see the self-scalped Florida man with the .417 BAC. Make room for the kids. You there, sir, come join us and look at the freak. C'mon folks, and see this national treasure
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"Airlines treat you terribly because there's no incentive for them not to"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington City Paper)
 
 
 
This year's winner of the Peeps diorama contest is "The Peeple v. O.J. Simpson"
source: washingtoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Police find Connecticut man hiding under laundry pile while trying to serve him warrants
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deccan Chronicle)
 
 
 
Man stiffens up with love potion #9
source: deccanchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
USAF F-35s to be deployed to Europe this weekend, marking a potential escalation where Russia now has to deal with the threat of aircraft parts raining down from overhead
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these four-eyed travelers
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
After beating up and removing a doctor from a flight, United decides to let his luggage fly comfortably to Kentucky without him
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Jesus had a terrible public defender
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetsLady)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby aardvark born in Spanish zoo needs a name that isn't Aardvarky McAardvarkface
source: petslady.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Wisconsin nutjob who robbed a gun store and then sent Trump a 192-page "manifesto" studded with threats of violence and anti-government rhetoric, has been safely apprehended by police before Trump could offer him a cabinet position
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a red panda trying to pick a fight with a rock
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Russia has investigated itself and determined that the Syria gas attack was staged
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
50 Nightmare-inducing Easter Bunny Photos. Suddenly, Bugs Bunny not wearing any pants and occasionally dressing up like a woman totally makes sense
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Man released from prison after BuzzFeed article. That must have been some listicle
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Napkin)
 
 
 
Photoshop this small-scale exhibit
source: takethetravel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Secret Service fires two agents for taking their sweet time looking for a White House fence jumper
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
While we're all waiting for the Episode VIII trailer to drop, why not take the Weekly Weird News Quiz? (Update: it dropped. It was... a trailer)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deccan Chronicle)
 
 
 
Doctors baffled why eight-month-old baby weighs 38 pounds and only wants to eat all of the time
source: deccanchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Anti-Vaxxers: Making measles great again
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Happy Good Friday. What goes onto the table for your Easter spread - ham or lamb? Special must-have sides? Put some new life into food threads with your tasty favorites
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Texas football team hazing takes "Gatorade: Is It In You?" slogan to a whole 'nother level
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Utah Judge praises former Mormon Bishop as a Great Man while sentencing him for sexually abusing children
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Speedy the goat saves a family from a fire
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
In 1998, Rastafarian parents named their daughter Isis Harambe. They couldn't have imagined how that would turn out for her
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
I only know one truth- The first "Last Jedi" trailer is here
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Report on elite private school reveals extensive sexual abuse involving students and a dozen former staff. Luckily all this happened long ago and all those involved are no longer employed so everything is just fine, nothing to see here
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1912, Titanic passengers dine on roast beef, iceberg lettuce, salt water taffy
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1865, "Our American Cousin" becomes the least favorite new play at Ford's Theater
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Four-year-old girl sets up lemonade stand to raise money for baby sister who has rare childhood Alzheimer's, which only affects 500 kids
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
If you need another reason not to visit Iowa, the state has just adopted a Stand Your Ground law, meaning anyone with a gun can legally shoot and kill you without provocation
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dinosaur Dracula)
 
 
 
We may be on the verge of nuclear war, and so as we look back on life on Earth here are some cool toys from the 1982 Sears catalog
source: dinosaurdracula.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Men, the time has come for you to start making the sammiches for your women
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Creationist says there is proof dinosaurs lived with humans but the "truth" is being covered up
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Argus Leader)
 
 
 
The "War on Drugs" is going full-on Abu Ghraib in South Dakota
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crossing guard
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So a guy with a samurai sword walks into a bar
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Africa's famine problem could be eradicated if the world would just come together and build a moveable skyscraper that could hold enough food to feed everyone on the continent
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
Video
 
Leopard: Yeah, I'm gonna attack this porcupine
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"It's different on the streets," says Georgia cop explaining how "resisting arrest" listed in his official police report is the same as "unprovoked punching of an unarmed suspect with hands above his head" shown on a witness cellphone video
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Sick of being America's hat, Canada moves towards becoming America's bong
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Dozens were trapped on a Six Flags roller coaster, but to be fair, what did you expect from a ride named "Joker's Jinx"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You think you're having a bad day? At least an engine didn't fall off your fighter jet while you were racing over the Bering Sea
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Developer to build 300 sqft "micro apartments," renting them at the full market rate for normal-size apartments. Hipsters will be all over this
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
FARK-ready headline: Urine-soaked woman detained at Denny's over moon rock
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Syria accuses Israel of supporting ISIS. Not so much 'alternative facts' as 'alternative worlds'
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Backup cameras will be required on vehicles in 2018 because people keep squishing unsupervised kids
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
China leads the world in state sponsored executions. Texas vows even harder to catch up
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 13, 2017
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Ok, hoarding 74 dogs is pretty bad. But not as bad as naming a breed an Aussie doodle
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Oklahoma cartwheeling teacher pleads guilty to petty larceny after incident at bowling alley
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a clown and a wolf walk into a Florida 7-Eleven
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kiplinger)
 
 
 
The 8 worst things about being a millionaire. And yes, it's a slideshow, so you know they're really bad
source: kiplinger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man explains why he won't date hot women anymore as though it was a choice he made and not a natural side effect of him being a douchebag
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Dawww, it's meerkats eating Easter Eggs
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when you try to brag that you have the "greenest office building in the world" after crossing an 11,000-space parking lot to enter it
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Kickboxer won 64 gold medals last year, is multiple British and European champion, has been undefeated for 2 years and just bought his first house. He's also 9 years old
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
WWE star CJ Perry, aka "Diva Lana" said she was "violated" by a TSA agent at Boston's Logan Airport. Sadly, since there were no folding chairs available nearby, she was forced to ask for police assistance to resolve the matter
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Man drinks a beer for every mile of a half-marathon. And finishes in two hours
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alex Jones appointed as Syria's Minister of Saying Things
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Photoshop this feline wannabe
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Comey greenlights TV series to improve the FBI's public image. First episode to feature gripping, edge-of-your-seat tension as field agents race through Manhattan after a laptop Hillary Clinton may have once sneezed on
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U.S. threatens to bomb North Korea if another nuke is detonated. Come on guys, this isn't funny anymore. Cut it out
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scotland could join Canada if it wasn't for the inconvenient fact that Scots and Canadians are natural enemies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It was not my intention to hurt anyone with that chest high, barbed wire trap I set on the cycle path
source: denbighshirefreepress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Before tonight's performance of Lord of the Dance, a warning: People in the first 14 rows will get covered in blood. And end up in jail
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
It's not often that Target follows up on those customer service comment cards, unless of course you leave one about the sales associate whom you assaulted
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news for the 4 or 5 of you DC Farkers who still ride Metro: Things are about to get better. I mean, there'll still be delays, single-tracking, overcrowded trains, fires, smoke, and the occasional death. But, you know, better in a general way
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Want to travel the world? No money? No problem, just beg
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blind following
source: globalfinance.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian parliament to unveil pot legislation today. Why couldn't they hold this off to a more auspicious date, say, one week from now?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
A totally badass horse just attacked an alligator. Of course, it happened in Florida
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ever notice how often the word "beheaded" shows up in headlines paired with the phrase "freak accident"?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Live NASA conference on oceans in the Solar System, hosted by that cute woman with the squeaky voice
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeker)
 
 
 
If you're a tall male, your prehistoric ancestors were mammoth hunters
source: seeker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Police seeking suspect who shot at locks inside store. To steal high-end electronics. At Walmart
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Did United CEO Oscar Munoz get preferential treatment for his heart transplant last year? Either way, it doesn't appear to have worked
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Taco Bell custodians yawn in disbelief after news of largest non-nuclear bomb in U.S. inventory dropped in Afghanistan after Green Beret was killed
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Body of a man who witnesses say was tossed out an airplane lands on the roof of a Mexican hospital. Well, if nothing else, you DO have to admire their aim
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Winnie the Pooh seen nervously fleeing Maryland
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Craigslist Vilnius: FOUND, One torpedo, minus nose cone.Owner pays shipping cost
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
You'd think the police would frown on illegal gun sales. Oh it IS the police. Well that's completely different
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
L.A. assembly women want to eliminate sales taxes on tampons and diapers and increase them on alcohol which will have the added benefit of decreasing conception of babies which will decrease the need for diapers. It's the circle of life
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That time in 1983 the U.S. did a simulated nuclear war against Russia and almost ended the world
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Police in Jerusalem have arrested a 33-year-old homeless man with ties to religious extremists. The man has a troubled history and may be mentally unstable
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her balloon
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
North Korea chooses Saturday to start WWIII
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Model with 'biggest boobs in Europe' shocks fans with 'crispy brown' look. Well, it can't be that bad, let's take a look...OH DEAR GOD (possibly Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
United Airlines once again shows just how friendly those skies are
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Body of Sheila Abdus-Salaam, first U.S. female Muslim judge, found in Hudson River. Tag is for the judge for overcoming so much
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Footage of doctor that was bloodied and dragged off United flight emerges at the start of the problem, showing good behavior on his part throughout. Everybody on that flight gets fully reimbursed now, cops disciplined... You're doing it wrong, buddy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
'Inappropriate' blanket, or BEST. BLANKET. EVAR?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The last of the '80s Florida cowboys has been caught this time without square grouper
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Texas lawmakers seek to reduce backlog in rape kit testing by asking motorists to donate at the DMV
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Introducing the newest gotta-have dataset for you budding climate scientists: fish pee
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
NASA says Martian atmosphere is more metal than we thought, right before throwing up the horns and biting the head off a bat
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 623: "Nature Photography 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 12, 2017
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man pleads mental illness on charges the he committed home invasion armed with dagger, because obviously no one sane goes on a crime spree with only a 1d4 damage weapon
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meth-addicted python sent to rehab in Australia after being found in drug lab. See, even normally deadly animals kick it up a notch down there
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
How fake news shaped our opinions during WW2
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaskans ask the military if they could maybe hold off on the underwater explosions and hazardous chemical dumping until after the fishing season
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Turkish President Erdogan has a moustache. Naturally, all his ministers are growing them too. Up next: American senators getting bad combovers
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Cops on lookout for driver of minivan caught on CCTV trying to play Death Race 2000 with kids on bicycles
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
San Diego residents observe fast-moving streetlight
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Foster home closed down for refusing to tell the kids that the Easter Bunny is real. No, really
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 6 Albany)
 
 
 
Prison hopes inmates will learn job skills by breaking down old computers for recycling. Instead they learn to assemble working computers, hide them in the ceiling, hack into the prison network, and commit identity theft and tax fraud
source: cbs6albany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Security expert says Kim Jong-un is going to threaten us with submarines. Judging from the condition of the subs, he's going to kill us with tetanus
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Sometimes the Gideons leave more than bibles in hotel drawers
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Danish farmers brew beer from recycled festival guest urine, magically turning one yellow foamy liquid into another
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop "Stump Lake"
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Normally, being a tow truck driver has a low risk of F = Gm1m2/r2 death. Normally
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Fate of the Furious doesn't open until this weekend, so while you're waiting around for mindless action, try the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz (updated with results)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby is a 38 year old male and is starting to get some gray hairs. What products do you recommend for eliminating this problem? Just For Men? Or should I use hair coloring products meant for women? #PrayTheGrayAway
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Life is a brutal struggle for NYC subway rats, just ask Pizza Rat, Escalator Rat, Pita Rat, Donut Rat, Murder Rat and that youngin' Pizza Rag. Now we have a couple giant churro-eating Latin rats fighting it out for a bite
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Brandy drinking city councillor in hot water for sexually harassing elf, drinking brandy. 'I'm always at work and I'm always drinking'"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
An open sewer can be an explosive breeding ground for disease, especially if you throw a lit cigarette into it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Arsonist wanted in Polk County for several wildfires. Well, I normally do house fires, but I guess I could stretch
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"Isabel Young was heartbroken when she lost her class ring in a sea of balls." Well, Cuervo shots on spring break will do that
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth in Canada
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The neighbor's maple is dropping whirlybirds on your driveway. What do you do? Fark: Try to rip the limb down and punch your neighbor's son
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Scientists deliberately travel to remote Australia and round up fifty new species of spider and no one was making them do it. No family members were being held captive or anything
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Where bears do their business, what's at the center of the Solar System, and an always helpful Merriam Webster. These are YOUR headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-04-02 to Sat 2017-04-08
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
If you use wooden logs and chicken wire to reinforce your vehicle's suspension, you might be a redneck
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMJ Youngstown)
 
 
 
Problem: 8-year-old is hungry, and his parents are asleep: Solution: He drives his 4-year-old sister to McDonald's. BONUS: They go through the drive-thru
source: wfmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Manbearpig apocalypse nears
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this intrepid explorer
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Burger King's new troll ad triggers your devices to read aloud the wiki entry for the Whopper. Good thing no one can edit wiki. Oh, wait
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eddie Murphy once again funniest brother
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Literary Burlesque act inspired by banned books kicks off, because what the world needs now is a sexy Huckleberry Finn and 1984 striptease
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Unfortunately not so rare Furry Convention trifecta complete with this confession of a formerly secret furry
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Tired of her neighbor's curious dog leaping over her fence to see what's in her yard, woman creates peep hole for 'nosy' dog
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Terrifying monument to toothache, made of real human teeth, installed at St. Petersburg dental clinic
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BroBible)
 
 
 
Canadian rich guy offers Jane the Virgin star millions to sleep with him but she refuses. Says she can't be on the show if she's no longer a virgin. For God sake, it's in the title
source: brobible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
The Florida Bar Exam results are in. Let's see how everyone did. Oh, dear lord
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's time America goes back to the moon, if only to replace the six U.S. flags we planted there before we lose our sovereignty
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Robert A. Heinlein: "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." Fark: "But it's more fun in public as long you as don't get arrested." THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dr. Ben Carson stuck in Miami elevator for 20 minutes. No word if it was a grain elevator like the pyramids
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Creator of Charging Bull doesn't want Fearless Girl near his sculpture - which no one wanted when he put it there
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1861, Yankees begin to suffer first major home loss
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Southern college cheerleaders escort ring, y'all
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Minister Lavrov, Rex Tillerson. Nice to meet you." "Strike Syria again and you will regret it. Also, likewise"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Woman still finds it hard to believe that she gave birth to a 13 lb. baby. Included photo almost gave this story a "Creepy" tag
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman finds out about a "FURRY CONVENTION," figures it's a great place for her and her therapy dog
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
You mean the Daily Mail lied to us? I am shocked
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Think you could steal candy in Canada? Be prepared for the helicopters, thermal cameras, and K9 units. Bummer, eh?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"C'mon, we have to go. Trust me, we gotta get outta here. COME ON. Work with me, dammit. Come on. COME ON, LET'S GO. Get in the damn basket. HURRY UP"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Turns out Governor LePage doesn't have the power to pardon a dog
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
United (who else?): "Every ticket, of course, guarantees a passenger a seat on the plane"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Syphilis cases are skyrocketing in Maine. This is not a repeat from 1932
source: vitalsigns.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Surely, no one can really defend United Airlines after dragging a passenger off a plane. Fox: Hold our beer
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New species of crab discovered that lives entirely in trees. As long as they still taste good dipped in a garlic butter sauce, I don't care if they live in my aunt's glove compartment
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
You are tying your shoelaces wrong
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Surely this week can not get any worse for Unit.... OFFS already
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Organizers cancel furry convention amid allegations of unpaid taxes, neo-Nazism, and a sex offender - raising hackles throughout the community
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
Condom-clogged pipes tipped off cops to Wang prostitution ring at massage parlor
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Did watching the Masters entice you to try pimento cheese, the caviar of the South? No? Well too damn bad, because pimento is having a foodie moment. Top chef: "Pimento cheese is meant to be on white bread in a plastic sandwich bag"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Pulling your kids out of school for vacation? You better believe someone has a problem with that
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
United, in an effort to improve public relations, has added scorpions to its airplanes
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cosmopolitan runs story on "how she lost 44 pounds without any exercise." The answer is to get cancer. She got cancer. Strangely, readers didn't think that was a good weight loss plan
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 11, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Explosions on bus carrying German soccer team, in what police are calling a targeted attack, at least one injured
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why your newspaper isn't folded evenly? Well, here comes the science. The next article will be to explain what a newspaper is
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Click here to learn that one weird trick Popeye used to give spinach its power
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
McDonald's Australia now accepts Snapchat job applications, aka Snaplications. "The irony isn't lost on me. The ephemeral quality of a Snapchat video is the perfect metaphor for the here-today-gone-tomorrow fast food worker"
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman, who once lived in slave cabin, visits it again... in the Smithsonian
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Your latest entrant in the ironic T-shirt sweepstakes
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Someone is dropping deuces in front of an Australian business. Fark: on Duke Street. Xtra Fark: "We will get to the bottom of it"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: do not try to pick up rattlesnakes, even if you've shot them
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Office building in downtown Portland gets tired of waiting for the big earthquake, develops huge crack prompting fears of collapse
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Sea monkeys. New hotness: Dinoflagellates
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Child taken to hospital after being bitten by unknown 'toothy sea creature,' which is definitely more dangerous than being gummed by a toothless sea creature
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Scottish Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat torturer
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Illegally poaching wild animals will never fill the hole in your soul or the lonely chasm where your teeth used to be
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When Best Korea calls you reckless, you better pay attention, because Best Korea are experts on the subject. Sad, Scary, Asinine, and Florida tags are fighting to see who gets this one. Why is Florida in the mix? Why does Florida do anything?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"I am completely disturbed by what my company did. I am constantly disturbed and reminded by it because you all won't shut up about it"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Study shows link between Facebook use and depression. Fark.com use still reliable predictor of emotional well-being and psychological stability, alcohol dependence
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
DOJ Prepares To Disrupt Global Spam Network. Hawaiians Inconsolable
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wrestling Inc)
 
 
 
Kane announces his candidacy for Mayor, proceeds to tear off door to his dog cage
source: wrestlinginc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Savannah Now)
 
 
 
Anti-gay pastor who said Orlando shooting victims "got what they deserved" convicted of molesting boys
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this windowed wall
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Doctors once treated alcoholism with heroin. Now, they want to treat heroin addiction with marijuana. No word on what are we going to do about all the eventual gorilla carcasses
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Today in Not News: Putter, the ice cream loving squirrel
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
WANTED TO BUY: Human skin. Paying $400. Really
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Twitterstorm against United subsides ... as Twitter deletes tweets critical of United Airlines
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
United Airlines PR department tries a new spin: the doctor booted from the flight was a hardcore criminal thug
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Racist church shooter Dylann Roof will receive the death penalty and 9 life sentences just in case he's a cat or something
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Navy Seal claims that photos of Bin Laden's body were never released because he died of excessive lead poisoning
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Who knew that adults wearing makeup like the Joker is apparently against Virginia law? Apparently not this guy. Y SO SERIOUS? (with mugshot goodness)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Bill would allow consumer electronics companies to market hearing aids direct to consumers, in case you want to control grandma's hearing through your smartphone
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Missouri high school principal discusses suicide with students. Hopefully they talked him out of it
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Protip for college students: Don't leave your clothes outside for two weeks because you're too lazy to do your laundry at your dorm, birds will make a nest inside your pants
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
According to someone who keeps tabs on this shiat, 40,000 passengers were 'bumped' from flights in 2016
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this transporter
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Cause of death for great white shark found, exploding oxygen cannister ruled out
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The 4th Estate)
 
 
 
Washington Post reporter David Fahrenthold wins a Pulitzer prize for uncovering the scam otherwise known as Trump's charitable giving
source: pulitzer.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Don't worry, United Airlines is going to investigate themselves
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
After participating in 'bestiality party,' 64-year-old woman is spared jail by claiming she didn't know it was illegal. Even so, it will probably dog her the rest of her life
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
United's CEO doubles down: "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
United Airlines has committed "Brand Genocide"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Flying may suck and you may be randomly selected to be forcefully "volunteered" to be removed from your flight, but at least the FCC ruled to keep the ban forbidding cellphone calls from an airplane
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
You can now blame helicopter parents on the cancellation of community Easter egg hunts
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Northern California tribal leader gets death penalty for 2014 killings. That's a lot of killings
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
You've got just three more days to fly your drone over US military bases before it becomes illegal
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Parent-child bonding, Florida style: Father, daughter arrested for baking pot brownies and selling them at high school
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
25 years ago a crew punched a hole in the Chicago River causing a flood that was the biggest disaster since the Chicago Fire. It took 6 weeks to finally put a cork in it. The company responsible got away without paying a dime
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 10, 2017
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Prosecutor shows man's penis to jury, defense claims it won't stand up in court
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle man arrested over crime spree that involved homemade explosives, robbery, wanton drug use, burning cars, cartons of melted ice cream, and a stolen ATM. Florida man seen nodding in respect
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Florida man sets record for: Shortest. Police chase. Ever
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
The criteria used to select the doctor booted from that United flight were not random
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Family comes home to find their house trashed by Wild Turkey. Man, that stuff usually just makes me take my pants off and throw up in the bathtub
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If by "stork" you mean a giant white Turkish Airlines plane headed to Burkina Faso, then yeah-storks deliver babies, sure
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brand Eating)
 
 
 
Chuck E. Cheese's unveils triple-pepperoni pizza, featuring three styles of pepperoni so mouthwatering that you'll fight anyone to get at it
source: brandeating.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
United Airlines offers new Punk Ass biatch seating to those who don't require the amenities of Economy
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
3 arrested after breaking in to a jail. I wonder what they thought would happen
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Consequences of Farking
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Marcinkiewicz to follow up on Gniewkowski incident. Gasheundheit
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida sheriff posts video taunting heroin dealers, while flanked by four guys who'd be straight out of an ISIS execution video if it weren't for the words 'Sheriff' on them
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you see hyperactive, over-caffeinated fish zipping around in Michigan rivers, this is why
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
For whatever reason, Oregon wants to cosplay Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin's secret lair in a Nicaraguan volcano may have just been found
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
UK doctors baffled by a condition that causes a teenager to sleep 18 hours a day. Which Americans know as being a teenager
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach party
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Let's see, I accidentally the DJ server checking the playlist preshow, so who knows if I'll get through the full 2 hours of tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8 PM EDT) letter "I" show without doing something equally stupid
source: beta.tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Mexican Church reveals Captain America was not the first but the second avenger. The first one was Jesus Christ. No word on if Pope Francis will join the Marvel Canon revision process
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Please note: when ordering food, be specific about what you want
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The first ever Canadian Juggalo Gathering occurred this weekend. Does orange Faygo pair well with poutine?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Father and daughter in convertible doused with manure. Teenage time traveler wearing life preserver wanted for questioning
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Seman everywhere
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man who shot and killed Texas deputy is found to have committed suicide by shooting himself fifteen times in the head
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man puts the load in front loader at Soapy's Coin Laundromat
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man eats 255 Peeps to break world record, might want to avoid microwave ovens for a few days
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
" . . . He was scared because this was the first time he was shot" Because after a half-dozen times or so, I guess you get used to it
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When releasing doves at a funeral, take care not to do it near a busy road
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Taxicab Confessions, Difficulty: Findlay, Ohio
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Seeing all the free publicity that United has been getting, Delta decides to enter the fray
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hacker breaks into Dallas' tornado warning system. Hilarity ensues loudly
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Bill to legalize marijuana in Canada expected to be tabled on Thursday. Poutine & ketchup chip munchie run expected later on that evening
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Call center scam artist named "Shaggy" unloads his assets and tries to disappear in his mystery machine, and he would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those meddling Interpol RCNs
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nerd fight
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
NYPD releases bodycam policies, which provide no avenue for public access, no punishment for failure to comply, and allows the officers to view bodycam footage before submitting a report, thus letting them modify the report to fit the footage
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alabama Political Reporter)
 
 
 
Alabama Governor resigns to spend more time with his mistress
source: alreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
"Cylon Three, pop-up single, BRA 250" could be radio chatter from several things, but this time it was from the US Air Force's Red Flag exercise
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Reason #18 why cats are better than dogs: You won't get into a gunfight over who has to walk the cat
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
In Florida, that "stop before someone loses an eye" warning for kids has been replaced by "stop before someone drives a car into the canal"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
NewsFlash
 
Multiple Gunshot Victims at Elementary School in San Bernardino
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Police begin using GPS tracking darts on cars in Colorado. Poison-arrow frog version still in development
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Why are fewer Americans trying to lose weight? Subby searched for the answer but it was too much work. Hey, you gonna finish that doughnut?
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Guinness throws in the towel because of Brexit
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
United Airlines debuts a bold new PR strategy that involves assaulting paying customers
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Mama giraffe has finally dropped her load
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man downs two lobsters, 17 vodka shots, and 6 beers before running into the surf to skip bill. Police call out the jet skis to haul him in
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that a mountain-sized object that's crawling across the Pacific Ocean floor is an alien space ship disguised as a mountain ...but it's an alien space ship disguised as a mountain
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Prostitute who Michael Jacksoned Google executive to be Trumped back to Canada
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this douchebag being proud for being a douchebag
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
There is a 13,064- square-foot mansion in Arkansas free to the right charity as long as nobody minds that it was the place in the '70s where a cult leader keep the embalmed body of his wife for months while waiting for her to rise from the dead
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Some of the proposed designs for Trump's wall include drones, a toxic moat, remote-operated disintegration rays, random drunken Texans with guns, a three-hundred mile minefield. OK, some of those are made up but try to guess which ones
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Terry Gilliam be mackin'
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Tipping should NOT be in proportion to a percentage of the bill. It takes no extra work to bring a $60 plate of sushi over a $20 pizza
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
It isn't a good camping trip unless somebody gets high on mushrooms, strips down, and throws a rock at somebody
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Apparently "lunch shaming" is enough of a thing that states have started making it illegal
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Blogger lives alone in one sealed room of house and sleeps on bathroom tile because she is convinced that everything outside that bubble will kill her. Yes, she's Australian but that's not the reason
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
A restaurant review of surpassing viciousness...for a €600 dinner at a restaurant run by a Michelin-starred chef. For example, the gratinated onions dish: "It is mostly black, like nightmares, and sticky, like the floor at a teenager's party"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
World's most ancient canid--similar to the New Guinea Singing Dog and thought to be extinct for 50 years--makes a comeback. Take a bow, New Guinea Wild Dog
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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