Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun March 19, 2017
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Russians search for a snow leopard for Putin to ride while shirtless
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Second woman dies at Miami clinic after getting Brazilian butt lift
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lawnmower Man)
 
 
 
Photoshop this VR hotshot
source: drugoigorod.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
American diplomat ejected from Middle-earth after brawling over the Arkenstone
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
According to CBP, an A-rab sounding name trumps 42 years of citizenship and being the retired police chief of Greenville, NC
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roger Daltrey)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy who's got the sack
source: drugoigorod.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy paid an extra $45
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Spring officially arrives tomorrow at exactly 6:28 AM EDT. Set your allergies ahead one hour
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Are you one of those people who can't snack on something without adding a splash of hot sauce to "spice it up"? Snack Food Sunday feels your sweet sweet pain and wants to know your favorite sauces
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
The times of your life are still ahead of you ... well maybe some of you
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This 70-year-old woman has run a marathon on every continent in one week. Subby just hopes he is still alive by that age
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Legendary New York columnist Jimmy Breslin, whose gritty slices of city life mesmerized readers for decades, dead at 86
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hey baby, you look hot tonight. No, I mean you look very hot. Like, you're on fire. You have to stop using that paraffin-containing face cream that has been linked to fire deaths. Don't you read the internet?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Applications to U.S. colleges by foreign students are down because of the fear of deportation. American students look forward to benefiting from the grading curve being lowered
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A tour of the steepest streets in England, where egg-rolling contests proliferate. "Pushing a double buggy up was a bit tricky for me but I've never been so fit in my life"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Peacock)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pea car
source: debtfreedigi.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: High school jobs
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Consider yourself a slob unless everyday you make the bed, clean the toilet, wipe the shower, sweep the kitchen floor, put dirty clothes in the laundry bin, and clear away all your clutter
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The risks of a pre-emptive U.S. military strike on North Korea range from "Aw hell no" to "Holy Jesus H. bald-headed Christ"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass black rhino born at the Pittsburgh zoo, will be quite horny when it hits puberty
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Satanic Temple advocates that Texas schools not use corporal punishment with billboard. Human sacrifice they're OK with but no spanking
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Back in subby's day, we escaped a robbery through the snow with TWO broken legs UPHILL both ways
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Parents thought their twins weren't getting enough sleep, so they set up a nanny cam and found the 2-year-old toddlers were having a party
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
New York City gets nuked and the reaction of New Yorkers isn't what you think
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Mini-nukes and mosquito-like robot weapons being primed for future warfare. Sleep tight, America
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 18, 2017
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC developer brings a fake INS agent with him to an apartment to scare away the tenants living there on a rent stabilized lease. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If this 6-year-old girl can figure out a way to feed the poor without involving the federal government, why can't you?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Chuck Berry rolls over at the age of 90
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these late-working stock traders
source: a57.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It may be a bad idea to practice parkour around the White House these days. Just saying
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Waiter fired for Making Eating Out Great Again
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
And the prize for most creative way to get patrons to not drink and drive on St. Patrick's Day goes to Toronto's The Emmet Ray whiskey bar
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(APM Marketplace)
 
 
 
Thanks to Google's ranking algorithm, bad information that people passionately believe has a way of rising to the top. Like the notion that sweating and caramelizing onions are the same thing and that you can caramelize onions in under 30 minutes
source: marketplace.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Laughter)
 
 
 
Photoshop these spots
source: static.wixstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
I'd like to reserve a spot on the old folks field trip to the marijuana dispensary, please
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Dearborn, MI now under Shawarma Law
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Let's set the Wayback Machine to the days of "Follies on Ice" with showgirls, men in drag, an ice-skating chimpanzee, a robot, and Elvis. It was like a circus with even more glitter and spangles. You know...the good ole days
source: dangerousminds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Well, so much for there being a Godfather IV then
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Lunch Lothario strikes again, ditching a woman after ordering steak, Caesar salad, side of shrimp, glass of Pinot and a baked potato at BJ's in Pasadena: "He's not out there. Is this a first date?"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
On the plus side, it's beer. On the negative side, it's brewed from treated sewage water. But hey, it's beer, so it's all good, right? Right?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
What novels written in the past 100 years do you think will still be read 100 years from now? How about 500 years from now? Brush off your crystal ball and join the Saturday Morning Book Club
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Truck carrying 38,000 pounds of cheese crashes. Driver grilled at the scene
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sovereign astride a glorious equine
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
If you wondering why you're stuck in an international airport today, blame the French
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Ban on Irish butter sparks fight in butter-loving Wisconsin
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cats are sometimes described as aloof, uncaring, independent creatures who do not have the capacity for affection. Caturday respectfully begs to disagree
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
What happens when your regional aircraft loses a propeller in mid-flight? Let's ask the passengers
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russian police arrest a stubborn alien that scared all women in a grocery store and ran away
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
There's gold in them thar bowels
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
41 Irish words for drunk. Well, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and 34 others
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 17, 2017
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Gallup numbers are in and a lot more people are working at home so they don't have to deal with all the traffic. Except that there should be less traffic since a lot more people are working at home, right?
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
Weeners
 
Military nude photo investigation expands into gay porn, not that there's anything wrong with that
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Marine paralyzed for 33 years walks again thanks to robotic exoskeleton, Stark Industries sponsorship
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
This story has everything: A porn actress, a fake doctor, a butt implant gone bad, and Fark's favorite state
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Customers were impressed by the barber's care and attentiveness, although they were slightly perturbed when he put a python around their neck
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Today's episode of nope slithering from a car vent brought to you by Fark's favorite state. Florida tag last seen running for the flame thrower
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Robot is playing a leading role in a new British stage production. Although we've had that technology for years, it's called Keanu Reeves
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Anarchy in the streets as local holes get filled with a warm mixture of community awareness and gutter punk sweat
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch a baby hippo enjoy hose play. None of those words are euphemisms
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
A good roommate is someone who'll clean up after themselves, mind their own business, and at least mention your dead body to someone once you keel over and die
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
"Dear I-77, some of your lanes are drunk - it is literally a free-for-all out there in places"
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Will County Herald-News)
 
 
 
Burger King serves beer. If a beer- truck spill and an impromptu block-party out front counts. Have it your way
source: theherald-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
"Now that we've hiked to the top of Camelback Mountain, will you marry me?" "Yes....and I think I have heatstroke. Can you call in a rescue helicopter?" (w/pix)
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"67, 68, 69... um, wait, where was I? ... 69? Okay, I've lost count. I have to start over"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Today is St. Patrick's Day, so enjoy this -- the greatest rendition of "Danny Boy" ever performed
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Lots of holes in story of deputy shot in fight over doughnuts
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop a new sign here
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Taking a bath and charging your iPhone are both normal every day activities. Just don't do them at the same time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Where does one of the newest top-rated vodkas come from? Poland? No. Russia? Nope. Costco? Bingo
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Protip: If the police want to talk to you about a robbery then maybe it's not the best idea to appear in a mannequin challenge video
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Your guide to St. Patrick's Day deals and freebies, including $3 green beer at TGI Friday's
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Belgian church turns into a beer bar after every Sunday mass. Praise the Lord
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
'Heart-in-a-Box' keeping donated organs alive longer. Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg nod approvingly
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
45 celebrities reimagined as redheads in honor of St. Patrick's Day. If you call these photos "ginger snaps," is that racist?
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There are still a lot of perfect brackets after day one, but there is only one where somebody got all the games wrong
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
War in space is becoming a real threat. Holy shiat... THAT. WOULD. BE. AWESOME
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "American Legion's Testicle Festival urges you to 'come have a ball'"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"A man who strapped more than 100 helium balloons to a lawn chair and soared above the Calgary Stampede grounds apologized Friday for the danger he caused, but said he doesn't regret his actions"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What the hell is going on with North Korea and Japan? The short answer: Everybody is preparing for war
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Penguin, Rubber Duck and T Rex are new Monopoly game pieces. Drew's version of trench coat wearing man with beer, busty hooker and squirrel with descended testicles were not approved
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Paramedic dives into frigid water of Illinois lake where SUV was submerged, finds infant floating inside. Administers CPR on SUV's hood and swims the child to shore before toweling off his massive balls of iron
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh man indicted for hate crimes committed at Red Robin. Crimes against humanty charges notably still absent for bottomless stale fries and dried out beef
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Whole Foods in DC abruptly closed for remodeling. Where 'remodeling' = dealing with chronic rat infestation
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Trips to the Titanic to begin in 2018. Feeling like you are aboard the Titanic, currently underway
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this odd object
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
New drug will help rich people avoid and/or survive heart attacks
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You're in the Library and you find an empty A-1 sauce bottle. You just lost the game
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Just when you thought your favorite gentleman's club was clean as a whistle - bodily fluids found in 11 of 17 Minneapolis adult entertainment venues. No word if the buffets tested ok
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Semi carrying fruit crashes on freeway, creates jam
source: articles.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The latest threat to your children? The Babocush. No, that's not the Swedish cousin of the Babodook, it's a giant pillow
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Search warrant demands Google turn over the accounts, IP address, social security numbers, and credit card numbers of everyone who Googled a certain name
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Fourth grade students win a robotics competition. Their prize? Being told to go back to Mexico
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Federal Appeals court rules that the AR-15 is legally an assault rifle. Thus ending that argument for all time
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Man arrested for masturbating in his car across the street from a playground. You're gonna want to see his mugshot, trust me
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pyramid)
 
 
 
Something is heating up inside Egypt's ancient pyramids. Might be all that stored grain about to spontaneously combust
source: lifecoachcode.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In case you were afraid CNN was going to start turning to gritty, hard hitting news and abandon sensationalist garbage, this article will put your fears to rest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Woman and her young boys come home to find naked woman on their couch. "I had to ask her to let me in the house and she put her clothes on backwards, then she realized her clothes were on backwards, so she proceeded to take them back off"
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
World's most expensive burger sells for $10,000, better have diamonds instead of sesame seeds in the bun
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Oklahoma law allows Sen. Ralph Shortey to keep his state retirement even if convicted of prostitution with a minor
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Happy Paint Satricks Day from new poll indicating that 9 percent of the nation will be drunk today
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I didn't mean that Obama wiretapped Trump Towers what I meant to say was Obama had the British spy agency wiretap Trump Towers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(That's a lot of nuts)
 
 
 
Photoshop this squirrel and his nuts
source: warrenphotographic.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Now watch and learn. I'm only going to do this..." *ka-BLAMMO*
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Whole-body vibrators may be the key to reducing obesity
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Pro tip: if you're at the airport and attack an employee, shouting "[expletive] Islam, [expletive] ISIS, Trump is here now. He will get rid of all of you. You can ask Germany, Belgium and France about these kind of people. You will see what happens," that's a crime
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So what's with all the hoopla with this couple the FBI is seeking?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Convicted murder in New Zealand wins the right to wear his toupee in prison because it was an "artwork" essential to his self-esteem
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
As many as 20 veterans a day commit suicide using guns, so of course the GOP is making it easier for them to buy a pistol. Compassionate conservatism in action, folks
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Even NPR agrees: Duke sucks
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 16, 2017
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Much like your high IQ, your perfect 850 credit score doesn't really mean anything
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
If you are going to the county courthouse, please leave your heroin at home
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Hey man, if you wanna buy some drugs, meet us in the Sheriff's Dept parking lot. We'll be between the Warden's truck and the cop fueling up his patrol car
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
If you rush out of a tattoo shop without paying, try not to post photos of the new tat on Instagram for the owner to find
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
There are few things as vicious as a pack of hungry tortoises, thankfully they don't move very fast
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Guy robs AT&T store by smashing through wall of adjacent store. OHHHHHH YEEAAAAHHHH
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Kenai Assembly: Invocations before meetings are open to all wishing to lead them. Satanic Temple: Cool, HAIL SATAN
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Elderly woman describes bread aisle beatdown at Walmart. In related news bread aisle beatdown is subby's new heavy metal bread cover band name
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Colicky baby, get off the plane. Drunk and disorderly, get off the plane. Too fat and being disruptive to other customers, get off the plane. Questionable religion or national origin, get off the plane. Too tall, get off the plane. Wait wut?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In other news, there's a basketball court above the courtroom in the Supreme Court building
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Son of Far-right French politician is your newest model school shooter. Social media has Steam Hatred Badge, quotes from The Joker, Vines wearing a clown mask & a gun...how'd it take him this long to go on a rampage?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Zoo owner arrested on 28 counts of animal cruelty. Which is going to suck on his resume
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Reposted for evening folks - What is one of the best, weirdest, funniest, and/or most unexpected things that's happened to you as a result of reading Fark? Top ten posts will receive one year of TotalFark. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Sending shock waves through college campuses nationwide, police arrest man for plowing while drunk
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this naval invasion
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Bad: You're pulled over by police. Worse: you have drug paraphernalia in your car. Solution: toss the hypodermic needles to your toddler in the back seat
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFGO Fargo)
 
 
 
Coors Chili Cook-Off Winner reveals 29 ingredients in his recipe-including peanut butter & jelly. In other news, your 4-year old has a pretty good shot at the ICS Bowl Championship
source: kfgo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
You ordered a pizza, but when you get it you find it has the wrong toppings. The prudent thing to do would be to A) return it and ask for a refund, B) just forget about it and eat it the way it is, or C) pump bullets into the building from your car
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In hindsight, perhaps naming a school Innovation Park Middle School wasn't the best idea. "They don't want to go to a school and wear a red shirt with the letters IPMS across the shirt for athletics, for academic competitions (or women in general)"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing. Just a horse with a rubber chicken
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Another day, another dumbass fake cop trying to pull over a real cop
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
"Sometimes you get the bear. Sometimes the guy whose supposed to get the bear with a tranquilizer dart gun gets you instead"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
April the giraffe almost ready to give birth. This is not a repeat from any time over the past few weeks
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
NY court to decide if a chimp is a person, which bathroom they have to use
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Our Heavenly Father is delinquent on his council rates, the deadbeat
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Are you ready? St. Patrick's Day is almost here and we all need something to eat to go with our green beer. Show us your favorites
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Jiffy Man)
 
 
 
Everyone in Ohio can relax now, a 70-pound, $700 popcorn ball that was stolen has been returned
source: gephardtdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Court defines sexual intercourse. Non-spoiler alert: it's exactly what you think it is
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
McDonald's claims their Twitter account was hacked after tweet makes Trump grimace
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fishing is a great pastime unless you don't realize you're putting yourself out there as bait
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sportsmanship
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Wildlife Commission shares information about escaped monocled cobra, say it will be seeking warmth, shelter, possibly a top hat and fancy walking stick
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It's perfectly safe at the moment. Unless that molten lava runs into the snow. Then we're....EVERYBODY RUN
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Man charged with providing illegal butt injections
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Moscow zoo suing video studio that hired raccoon and made what the zoo calls an "erotic" video. "The raccoon returned from the studio traumatized. We noticed he was attracted to women's breasts"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Yoga pants may be a key source of sea pollution, awkward boners
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
When doing a photo shoot on train tracks, do remember that trains can run on those tracks in both directions
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Stand your ground" extension passes in Florida, raising the bag limit to five
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The Guinness Castle is up for sale. Property includes main house with seven bedrooms, a four bedroom guest house, seven lodges and cottages and exactly zero bar towels anywhere to be found
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma politician may face charges after being found with underage male prostitute, as his ethics and Midwest family values come up a little behind
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Star Wars fanatic uses the dark side after his wife smashes his prized collection of action figures
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Let's take a look at the Jeddah Tower in Saudi Arabia, the soon-to-be world's tallest building
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Step 1: Crash your car into a gas station. Step 2: See two dudes taking video with their phones. Step 3: Attack the two dudes while yelling, "It was an accident you dumb-asses"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The former UFO expert for the Ministry of Defense says there is "No plan in place if aliens visit earth"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Not news - HOA is monitoring residents and their properties. Fark - By flying drones around the neighborhood looking for violations
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
McDonald's Corporate Twitter account calls Trump "a disgusting excuse of a President." Wow, guess they are still really bitter about that whole "bucket of KFC chicken" photo op during the campaign
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Judge rules that reporters hurt a beef company's feewings by calling their product "pink slime"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth will officially OK Britain's withdrawal from the EU today. Aides haven't told her that that is what she'll be signing. She thinks it is a birthday card for Harry
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
For no pressing reason in today's news, TV station checks out local fallout shelter to see how it's holding up
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Hey dude, have you seen my cooler?" "oh that old thing? I gave it to Goodwill" "DUDE WTFuuuuuuu" "Why? What was in it?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Potential parents of the year arrested for using eight-year-old daughter to run in front of oncoming traffic in crash for cash scam
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
5-year-old at grandma's draws a picture of his mom. Is that a spider below her bellybutton? "No that's her big nunny." Mom explains, "my friends and family have now told me I need to get a wax"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Shooting at high school in south-east France. Suspect surrenders
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Researchers create a 5 minute test to determine if someone is addicted to online porn. You can save 4 minutes and 58 seconds by just looking at them to see if they have bloodshot eyes and one arm freakishly more muscular than the other
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this supersized cheeseburger
source: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
More proof of aliens: Huge metallic sphere seven times the size of Jupiter found by astronomers in deep space
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Colombia's newly approved Labor Code allows people to show up for work drunk or under the influence of narcotics as long as their productivity is not affected
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother of son who has been missing 6 months claims he was depressed due to heavy metal poisoning. \m/
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The cheapest wines at most restaurants are often the best bargain on the menu. At least that's what you can keep telling yourself
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
Is that a can of spray paint in your pants or are you happy to see the police? (With mugshot goodness)
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Cheerios is giving away 100 million wildflower seeds to help honeybees
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Let's see if I've got this straight: One cheeseburger. No onion. No ketchup. No mustard. No pickles. No bun. No meat patty. Is that right?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
New Zealand authorities are looking for suspects in over 400 thefts of beehives and honey. Suspects are described as "covered in bees"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR hits all-time ratings high despite the fact that you're a freeloader who never gives during the pledge drive
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
America is still #1 in opiate use. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Large sections of the Great Barrier Reef are dead Coral
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
The upside of global warming: cat-sized horses
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 619: "Black 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 15, 2017
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Actual line in story: "The gator might have walked into the garage when he took his son to a Boy Scouts meeting"
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Banned motorist with 50 previous road offences tilts his battered old Ford Mondeo onto TWO WHEELS to squeeze between vehicles during a 12-mile police chase. Ta-da
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Four Russians charged with hacking Yahoo, which sounds like a disease, as in I've got a bad case of the hacking Yahoo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsAdvance)
 
 
 
First they came for the yoga pants
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't throw away those old mascara wands. They can now be used to treat injured wildlife in shelters. Excluding bears
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Immigrants have 60% lower mortality rate than non-immigrants, study finds. So not only are they takin yer jerbs, they're living longer too. And probably marrying your daughter
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sedate seashore
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
Video
 
Let's say that you run a railroad. If there's a heavy snowstorm one night, you might want to have people run snowblowers down the track in your stations before the expresses start running. Just a thought
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cleveland police follow up Tamir Rice fiasco by shooting the messenger
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Federal judge to Trump: What part of "you can't have a Muslim travel ban" did you not understand the first time around, dumbass?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Dutch voters to Geert Wilders: "You get nothing, you lose. Good day, sir"
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
When your fish has a bad swim bladder what do you do? Build it a fish wheelchair of course
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
And the sign said, "You'll have to find another trail to get to the Hollywood sign." Huh
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man discovers the risks of putting live fish in your anus: they may swim 'upstream'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
An Oxford comma changed this court case completely. Come on people
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Have you been living under a rock for the past week?" "Nope. I've been living inside of a rock for the past week"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Russians accused of carrying out the massive data breach at Yahoo. Experts surprised there was anything worth stealing there
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these nuts
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
First corporations, now rivers. Is everything people?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
"Beware the Jews" sign found in London was actually embarrassed artist's celebration of diversity
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
This is the worst possible name one could have in modern times
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One of Keith Richards' joints found in India
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Beware of your next brain scan, you might find out you're a criminal
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man has 15 strokes in one day and lives to tell about it. Pfft, amatu-ooh, those strokes, never mind
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Whether you're working on the next great American novel or your Caturday fan fic, you're a storyteller, and we love those. Also, we have another fiction anthology coming out. You should get in on it. THIS is your Fark Writers Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The first solar eclipse to cross America in 99 years is being seen as a sign from God by some deluded people who don't understand science and believe religion drives everything
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUT Austin)
 
 
 
Old Spiffy: He got a bad grade on a paper, so he got even - he got the Constitution amended. New Spiffy: 35 years later, he's having the grade on his paper changed from a C to an A
source: kut.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Are you ever too old to become a parent? Well, apparently the Italian justice system seems to think so
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Thanks Codfather for deep-sixing the New England seafood industry with cement boots
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's worth $7.5M)
 
 
 
Photoshop this reasonably priced car
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Live in Leeds: girls take time off school because they can't afford tampons for their periods; bloody hell
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Worst Korea's ex-president criticized for leaving leftovers behind at the presidential residence
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Rare 'sea sparkle' phenomenon in Tasmania means something from the dark abyss has come to the surface
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"We actually thought most areas would get less snow but kept our original forecasts intact because of reasons"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Alaska: watch out for grumpy moose. "It pulled its nose out of the bucket, looked at her, reared back and kicked her right in the noggin"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
80% of Oklahoma City students flummoxed by clocks with hands, believe "counterclockwise" refers to leftist anti-American politics
source: erietvnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Never call the cops on your husband if he has a video on his phone of you farking the family dog
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Rachel Maddow's big Trump tax reveal was a big letdown, according to Twitter
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Historical memorabilia related to General Douglas MacArthur were used by the participants in sexual acts"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Existing While Black" is now punishable by court-ordered homelessness
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
No, but that's probably a good way to start a fight in a Fark thread
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine an attempted rape, a snake in the bathroom, and some molly? Why, you get a Florida Fark Link, that's what you get
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"Each turd with be individually decorated with a greeting or Disney character and mailed to another town in a decorative box." "Sounds legit. Approved"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's a cheeseburger macaroni Hamburger Helper kind of night, what weird box foods do you occasionally crave?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
An old drug cartel burial pit with over 250 skulls has been found near Veracruz, Mexico. It was next to the burial pit with 500 arms which was next to the one with 500 legs. They do things differently in drug cartel world
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Cherry blossoms in Washington D.C. could be nipped in the bud
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Another invention nobody was calling for: Ranch dressing fountain
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 14, 2017
(Fortune)
 
 
 
PornHub offers to plow Boston
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Men from three Florida counties shouldn't donate sperm, the CDC warns, due to risk of spreading the Zika virus or whatever the hell else is wrong down there
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
The "Hearing Protection Act" is a GOP-introduced bill to a) update laws for maximal headphone volume output, b) make measurement of sound levels at live concerts mandatory, c) reduce restrictions on gun silencers
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
If there's one good thing that can come from a hard Northeast blizzard, it's the Craigslist dick pic sex ads
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Kind man returns credit card handed to him by mistake at Hardee's drive-thru. Just kidding, he peeled away and bought booze
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Kilauea is erupting and you can take a tour along a safe trail to see the sights, or you can be a dumbass for an extra $100
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
For those of you who still have power and Internet, it's the Weekly Weird News Quiz, Frozen North edition. UPDATE: Quiz winners and stats are up in thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tips for preventing heart attack while shoveling snow: Don't eat big meal before going out to shovel, take frequent breaks, use smaller shovel or snow blower, move to Florida
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
New rules regulate Florida county's marijuana dispensaries, allowing them to operate only in a three foot section of swamp behind a pile of alligators
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Giving Florida Man a run for his money, Minnesota Man launches his car over 200ft of open water, lands on ice, then wades ashore and wanders into random houses to watch TV
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
NASA still asserts no 205 mile high club members
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
NewsFlash
 
Microwave some popcorn (make sure you cover the camera first). Rachel Maddow says she has Trump's tax returns. Tonight at 9PM EDT on MSNBC
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flowering desert
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Iran claims its new homemade tank is just as powerful as a Russian T-90, can drive under water and even run the latest version of Photoshop for electronic warfare
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Miami cops say their vehicles aren't that thicke
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Lawyers for Sinaloa cartel boss 'El Chapo' say Guzman's confinement is far more extreme than what he experienced while in detention in Mexico where he built his own prison, had hookers, booze, drugs and tiny violins playing at all times
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman has therapy animal to treat anxiety. Fark: It's a therapy goat. Bonus: Awesome hat
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
Embattled Developer of sinking San Francisco highrise appears to be at the "making up structural experts" level of desperation to defend themselves
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Like most of us, Carlos the Jackal regrets not killing 'people I should have'
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cobra has escaped and is terrorizing a residential neighborhood. And now you know, and knowing is half the battle
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Vvvibrator cccompany ffforced ttto pppay cccustomers $10k each, fffor ssspying ooon thththemmmmmm
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
Fireworks factory in Tel Aviv explodes, possibly starting World War III
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Naked man arrested after police find him yelling gibberish on Indiana highway, may have been trying to hitch a ride to Florida
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strange strawberry
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Actual headline: PETA to use "nude zebra" in Charlotte circus protest; protesters will protest that. PROTEST
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Today is Albert Einstein's birthday, theoretically
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Ex-Mormons turned whistle-blowers release document exposing church's "enemies list." Ironically, release during whistle blowing is one of the offenses that will land you on the enemies list
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When forming a girls council to discuss women's issues, there is an implicit understanding that a key demographic will be included
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
I laughed. She laughed. The vibrator laughed. I shot the vibrator. It was a good day
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Drive-thru funeral parlor offers caskets that get sucked up through a vacuum tube and send back a tasty lollipop
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
This headline will not get approved, which is freaking me out, but there's nothing I can do, because I swear to God the Mods hate me, and I'll never forgive them, and it's probably my fault for being unclear, but they're always dissing me
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
CIA uses board games to train its officers: Pokemon cards for intelligence gathering, tabletop strategy games to train analysts, and Operation for interrogations
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Former Colorado State House member and conservative Christian talk show host recently said demonic spirits are using the new live action Beauty and the Beast film to "recruit children into sin"
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Class, today's lesson is in day drinking and comes courtesy of the boxed wine in my purse
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Two former Penn State officials cut deal in Jerry Sandusky cover-up, will possibly testify against last defendant as prosecutors try get to the bottom of things. Wait, that may be poorly phrased
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Fark servers to be offline March 24-26
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Happy Pi Day everyone...enjoy a slice and remember that pi are square
source: piday.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Professional poop scooper gets probation for using fake Secret Service ID to impress women online
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
As his town is being hard hit by a wave of opioid addiction and overdose deaths, The mayor of one small town is taking his streets back-by suing the makers of OxyContin saying they knew their pills were flooding the black market and did nothing
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Apartment maintenance throws out belongings of unit 223 for non-payment. Fark: Was supposed to be 213
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
It's bad enough to think about what it was like in 1920s America when they were pouring all that booze down the drain, now they're making us look at it in color
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Today's example of instant traffic karma comes to us from Connecticut
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
"Totally crazy" Jack Russell terrier totally FAILS at Crufts Dog Show, still loves every minute of his fail
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's Les Claypool)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual man
source: guitar-bass.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Stolen Stradivarius reappears after 36 years, with Wang on it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
The latest dating danger: the woke misogynist
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Damn it, Donnie. You gotta remember to bronze everywhere
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Parents should be appreciative of childless adults because thanks to them there are more open spots in competitive kindergarten classrooms and shorter waits for playground swings according to somebody trying to overcompensate for her barren womb
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Take a break from your Monday madness and enjoy the "Flyball Team Finals" competition from this year's Crufts Dog Show. (action starts at 5:35)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Turns out not living in a Mad Max-esque hellscape makes people happier. Who knew?
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Think you're Middle Class? Think again
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 13, 2017
(History Channel)
 
 
 
75 years ago today, U.S. Army launches K-9 Corps after 30 different breeds go through basic training
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Just in time for St Pat's: prefabbed Irish pubs, just add Guinness. Bar towels not included
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Geocacher does superb imitation of Wile E. Coyote. Repeat performance unlikely
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Dermatologists say you don't have to use soap as long as your coworkers don't mind you stinking up the place
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Because they're so plentiful - South Africa plans to legalize rhino horn trade
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
University launches Biden research and policy institute, to focus on economic reform, civil rights and the proper techniques for washing a Trans-Am
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sure, Canada's cystic fibrosis patients outlive their U.S. counterparts by 10 years, but least Americans can sleep well knowing that their insurance company CEOs are being lavishly compensated for free-marketing them to death
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
A brief update on Farker soosh (host of the Livingston Stapler Company Presents radio show), who is still undergoing rehab at Queen Anne Medical Center in Seattle (LGT previous thread)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan hunters told to stop baiting bears with chocolate. Surely, a master baiter wouldn't need chocolate to get a bear
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark Madness
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this caravan in the woods
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Just in time before Harcourt Fenton Mudd's wife hits New England, Paul's Memory Bank brings you 2 hours of songs beginning with the letter "E". Starting at 8PM EDT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit set to enjoy 3 to 5 inches. Man, if I knew they were that easily satisfied, I'd have moved already
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Serial pickpocket has 153rd offense, needs to find another way to make a living
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Today's fun fact: The USA has now officially spent more money trying to rebuild Afghanistan than it has spent on rebuilding Europe after WWII under the Marshall Plan
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Man gets hit by car, throws his watch at another car and causes £250 worth of damage by kicking it, then simulates a sex act in front of the cars' female passenger. Choose your ending: A) Ta-Da, B)The Aristocrats, or C)Then it gets weird
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Richard Simmon's custody situation, Time crystals, and the Statue of Liberty's metaphoric redesign. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-03-05 to Sat 2017-03-11
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Because when you have a collection of antique cars worth about $3 million, why would you have insurance? What's the worst that could happen?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Indian men can now divorce their wives by texting a single word three times. Fark; With wives receiving no alimony
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tiger lilies
source: d6d2h4gfvy8t8.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Two thirds of Americans dream about work, and yes, that includes a forklift, Queen Elizabeth and being naked on a roller coaster
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Trials to begin using dogs to detect bowel cancer. First challenge: cold noses
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
I choose you, Drunkachu
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So I decided to enter the world of toad millinery
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Two Florida jet skiers nearly hit by cruise ship are rescued at the last moment and issued complimentary copies of "How to Avoid Huge Ships"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Will showering with your kids scar them for life? What about showering with your other farm animals?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Russian man possibly faces 7.5 years in prison for playing Pokemon Go in church
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Up to 20 inches of snow predicted to fall on New York City. Everyone prepare to panic
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Because you weren't going to do anything useful in the next twenty minutes anyway, here's an A-10 versus a remote controlled Humvee
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking, is there a doctor on board? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Could North Korea actually hit Alaska with a missile? Better question: Why would they want to?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Being passed out in a McDonald's drive-thru with a loaded gun in the car is no way to go through life. Isn't that right, Ohio State Representative Wes Retherford?
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Marshall Project)
 
 
 
The nice part about using Snow Crash as our instruction manual is that if you get in trouble, you can always buy an upgrade from the county jail to The Clink
source: themarshallproject.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I categorically deny posting that tweet that is on the giant screen behind me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this white-tailed kite
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Area is looking at a Harvey Leonard Category "78 all over again" Nor'easter for Tuesday
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Here's a sentence you don't want to hear: You've been transferred to execution island
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaskan fur traders hope that fur bikinis are coming back into style. Oddly, this is not a euphemism
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Carleton University's decision to remove scales from gym weighs heavy on student body, although it's unclear if mass protests are coming
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There's something about watching nature documentaries that make you happy and it has nothing to do with all the weed you're smoking
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Many foreign terrorists say they're afraid to visit the US after Trump travel ban. Great. No, wait. That's *tourists* not terrorists. I guess that's not so great
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Maybe Michael Brown didn't rob that store after all
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
It's OK if you're a sweaty tomato. I tried that line on my girlfriend. She didn't much care for it
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A Hmong shaman is working with traditional doctors to heal patients at California hospital. I guess I just don't understand how Trumpcare is supposed to work
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Please give me your license, registration ... and whatever cash you got
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Carjackers may be stumped by manual transmission, but they also might kill you over it
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »






On Twitter




In Other Media
X
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.