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| Sun February 26, 2017 |
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Ice chunk from a WestJet plane crashes through Canadian couple's roof. And yes, they were watching hockey when it happened
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Here are things from the 1970s you can still buy today. You can be the owner of a Pet Rock
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Begun the Great Robot War has ...in this Manhattan woman's apartment
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Glamour shots for shelter pups means faster adoptions
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Of course you can take a rat taxidermy class in NYC, it's where rats get stuffed with good pizza and everything else
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Repeat drink driver claims not being able to drive his orange Aston Martin is "extreme hardship" - and makes it harder for people to be able to identify him as a reprehensible entitled douchebag
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Well, that's one way to flush your job down the toilet
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And the award for the most photogenic animal goes to...
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| (Googled it) |
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Photoshop this gaze into your soul
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Thousands march in Moscow to remember murdered opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. Polonium futures are up 13% in early trading
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| (ʎnƃ ǝɯos) |
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Ever dream of digging a hole straight through to the other side of the earth as a kid? Well, if it were somehow possible, the kids in tiny Rudyard, Montana would be the only ones in the U.S. who'd actually emerge on dry land
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Hide your sports memorabilia - OJ Simpson to be released from prison as early as October
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Police officer directing traffic away from an accident saves his own life when an out of control car comes careening towards him
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Punching Nazi scumbags is a time-honored American tradition
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Photoshop this relaxed reader
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40 years ago, Big Sugar research supposedly proved that American's diet needed to cut out the Fat instead of the Sugar. This worked out really well for Big Sugar and Wilford Brimley. Everyone else? Not so well
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There's no funny spin for this. Spicer confiscating phones of White House staff to find leakers; threatening them with "hell to pay" if information about said confiscation is leaked. Hero tag: Information leaked anyway
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The People's Court rules Judge Wapner has died
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Ugly-ass blind baby Gibbon's sight restored by Kansas veterinarians
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Hundreds rally and march for transgender rights in Boystown
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If you can't kill infidels, at least plant a few trees
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L.A. County Sheriff has no leads in theft of six light sabers. Robbery division still working case involving stolen plans for some 'Death Star'
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Farker soosh, host of the Livingston Stapler Company Presents radio show, continues to recover from his auto accident that occurred on February 5th and is undergoing rehab at Queen Anne Medical Center in Seattle. Updates within (LGT previous thread)
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| (Some Outdoorsy Guy) |
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Pretty much everyone loves trail mix. However, no one seems to agree what exactly should be in -- or should not be in -- the hikers favorite snack ... a debate we're going to try and settle this week on Snack Food Sunday
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Australia demands the MH370 probe continue in order to give CNN something to focus on instead of Trump
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William Owens says the Trump administration is wrong to say that anyone who questions the raid that killed his son Navy SEAL Ryan Owens does his son a disservice and he wants answers, believing the botched raid to be Trump's fault
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Mexico isn't sending their best. They're sending crap. They're sending turds. And some of it, I suppose, is good pee
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Eight-year-old survives car crash only to be shot and killed by responsible gun owner who just started shooting for some reason
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Using marijuana to treat chronic pain might help cut down on opioid abuse, but what's the point because then you're a marijuana addict anyway
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Okay bullets are coming out
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Sure the internet smells like a sewer, but YouTube is a particularly smelly conspiracy-filled sewer
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Cop mistakenly thinks he turned off his body cam before telling partner he's about to manufacture evidence. Tag is for the other cop backing up his buddy's lies
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| (Some Guy) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: Oversleeping
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Photoshop this home with a view
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Some suggested reasons for limiting gun ownership: 1) Past, violent convictions 2) Documented proof of substance abuse 3) Neckbeard
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All you Tinder whores are putting the pros out of business
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21 injured when suspected drunk driver plows into crowd at New Orleans Mardi Gras celebration
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Apparently even 12-year-old vegans are smug douchebags
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Author of best-selling novel about WWII Japanese internment addresses student body of Texas high school known for graduating entitled racist frat bros. It goes about as well as you'd expect
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Photos of iconic women for Black History Month- reenacted by a 5-year-old
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Transgender wrestler Mack Beggs identifies as male. He just won the Texas state girls' title because Texas is stupid
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"As a black woman, I'm scared of the police because I see people that look like me killed simply for being black. As a Muslim woman, I'm scared of being attacked and killed"
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Ugly-ass newborn polar bear cub takes its first steps at Munich zoo
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| Sat February 25, 2017 |
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Meet the woolly flying squirrel of Pakistan, nature's largest glider: "Thought extinct until 1996, its dried urine is said to have aphrodisiac qualities. The other unusual thing about the animal is its scream, likened to the sound of a yeti"
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Drunken Trump fan attacks gay men in Key West. Slurred, "you live in Trump country now, f***s". Was driving a scooter. (snert)
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You can mess with their heads, you can mess with their polls, but never, ever, mess with a statistician's data
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Among the injuried in January's Ft. Lauderdale airport shooting: an escaping woman that jumped into the back of a police van and was promptly mauled by a K-9
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this photographic moment
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Republican majority Montana House votes for something every Farker supports: Moar Beer
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It's never disappointing when a headline begins "Local Juggalo"
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CEO who sold his radio group to CBS says radio has suffered from "inaccurate perceptions," while people on the other end of the phone heard Nickelback for the second time during the call
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More than seventy Brazilian cities are canceling Carnival due to monetary concerns. Man, that's a lot of canceled Carnivals
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Today's cage match: the First Amendment vs Basic Human Decency
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Photoshop this hot beverage
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Dept. of Homeland Security finds Trump's travel ban pointless, says we need to stay focused on the real threats like nail clippers at airports
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One researcher went to the Chinese factories that make Mardi Gras Beads and spoke to the workers who believe the beads will be given to royalty
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Murderer of Kim Jong Nam was paid just $90 for the assassination
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Today's made for Fark story comes to us from Fark's favorite state
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Judge rules attack in which black 17-year-old was called racial slurs and 'penetrated with a foreign object' is neither racist nor rape. Why yes, football players were involved
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I guess Brexit really was a warning
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Meet Private William Speakman. He used bottles of beer to fight off 6,000 Chinese soldiers during the Korean war: "Because of his valor, 400 British troops lived to fight another day. Speakman was awarded the Victoria Cross"
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Elderly man to neighborhood youths - get ON my lawn
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They'll call it "The war of Eastern aggression"
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"Parents are becoming increasingly concerned that their children, who grow up shouting orders at voice-activated gadgets like Siri and Alexa, could be growing up to be spoilt and entitled"
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This is a test of your knowledge of this week's weird news. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you'd be bonkers already. It's the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz
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Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. You can get Trumped, even if your name's Ali
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Today in the Saturday Morning Book Club we're keeping it simple: what's the last book you read, and what did you think of it? (LGT the Library of Congress because they're cool)
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So, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, how do you, like, stop using filler words?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this woodsy woman
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Remember all the transparency that was supposed to happen when we gave our police body cameras? Well the police can only be transparent when the footage justifies their side, if not...well, you know
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Remember the third guy shot by the racist in Kansas? "I was just doing what anyone should have done," Grillot told the newspaper. "It's not about where he's from, or ethnicity. We're all humans." (Hero beats followup.)
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Even though he's a lion, deep down inside he's still a cat, and wants some attention this Caturday
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You know you're in Florida when you see a guy strip off his clothes in the middle of traffic and shout, "I am God"
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Abra cadaver, you're dead
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GOP Rep. Darrell Issa calls for special prosecutor on Trump-Russia ties
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TGI Fridays apologizes after a employee asked job applicant if he would sleep with his parents
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Subway's chicken contains about half real chicken and about half "tastes like chicken"
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If your school is having a "Lunch with a Cop" day then you might just want to leave your airsoft gun and pot at home
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Average Tooth Fairy payout hits all-time high of $4.66 in 2016. Entrepreneurial kids across the country reportedly going "full Kentucky" to cash in on these high rates
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The best part of a War on Drugs is that you get to accuse anyone who wants to stop your War on Drugs of being a drug dealer
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| Fri February 24, 2017 |
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Looks like Peter Parker has some competition (Not safe for work content in sidebar & below article)
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You have the right to remain silent. Any video you post on Snapchat can -- and will -- be used against you
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Too busy to sit through Church on March 1st? Come through the drive through and we'll rub dirt on your forehead
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Unusually mild winter in Canada thwarting traditional Canadian ritual of putting old people onto ice floes and never seeing them again. What do you mean she's back?
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Judge to claimant: Fat, drunk and careless while wearing high heels is no way to go down the stairs lady
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Sword-wielding felon threatens customers at Florida Walmart. 'Inappropriate weaponry at Florida Walmart' trifecta in play
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Kentucky PD: Yeah, maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a giant skull representing a vigilante and cold-blooded murderer emblazoned with the "Blue Lives Matter" colors on our vehicles. Our bad
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Kissimmee police take EPIC ethics training, which was totally rad and tubular
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California Governor wants to spend $450 million on flood control - or about the same amount it costs to build 1 mile of high-speed rail
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Actual headline: Mr. Peanut and the Nutmobile have come to Huntsville. And here we thought he was appointed as AG in Washington
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Photoshop these pelicans
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Mullet man says hair is not a hate crime
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Types of mass transit commuters. #1: Meh. #2: Needs to get kicked off. #3: Kicked off. #4: Needs to be smacked and kicked off. etc
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Is your teenage son constantly tired? If the answer is yes, a new study says he is likely headed for a life of crime
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You know you are in the back woods when a person driving a sleigh reports that a man used his "flying machine" to cause a massive stampede of 1,500 elk and the reporter writes is as "yup, we live in the future"
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Deputy suspended after satanic curse allegation
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Man facing felony charges after pulling gun at Chuck E. Cheese's. To be fair, it's a reasonable reaction to being surprised by an animatronic horror mouse
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Blind man tasered by police who mistook his white cane for a gun. This marks a troubling escalation in perceived violence by British police, who normally claim blind people were carrying Samurai swords before they got tazed
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Festivus recycler loses load in New York
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Photoshop this levitation trick
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Meet the new chili that has all of the flavor of the habanero but none of the heat. Also has none of the point
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Dutch abortion boat detained by Guatemalan army. If only they'd had a rudder of some kind, they could have stayed at sea
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In another sign of how libby-lib the Church has become under Pope Francis, and a probable sign of the end times, Catholics are given permission to eat meat on Fridays during Lent. But only if you are a drunken, subhuman Irishman
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Man caught flashing his genitals in the Intercourse library will soon be thrust in the hole, begging for sweet release
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The Australian Navy is way more badass than you realize. Well, sure, they'd have to be to survive all the sharks, venomous eels, spiderfish, aquatic drop bears in the ocean down there
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Beer thief keeps returning to the same store to steal cases of Budweiser. Not sure if this deserves a hero or sick tag, so we'll just call him sad
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It turns out Kim Jong Nam was auditioning for a sequel to The Rock
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You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger and you don't shoot a bb gun at a cop outside of a Florida Walmart
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Today's naked woman on a rampage in a church comes to us from the hamlet of Stamford, Connecticut. With why yes, she was likely high on drugs mugshot goodness
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Latest 'decline of Western civilization' indicator: Oxford dictionary announces latest additions including: "yes" "squad goals" "drunk text" "craptacular" and "drink the haterade"
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Heroism can be found in the most unlikely of places. Yes, even inside a coffee table in Florida
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Finding a great fishing spot is great, but the owners of the pier would prefer you not use the same methods your dog does to "mark your spot". Thanks
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Brand-new Maserati stolen when salesman falls for the old "Wanna see my new boat?" trick
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And here's a list of moronic Canadian calls to 911
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In 1970, a shot from a striking teamster driver caused an 18-wheel truck filled with 21 tons of dynamite to vaporize. With photos of the hole in the interstate, and windows broken from over 12 miles away
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Two killers who murdered their respective spouses marry each other in Nepalese prison. And the marriage was arranged by the groom's mother, who is also in prison for helping her son kill his first wife. Awwwww
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'Fake' psychic in trouble for posing as 'real' psychic. Let that sink in for a moment
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If you abandoned a live chicken in the bathroom at the Cobourg McDonald's in Northumberland, Municipal Animal Services would like to tell you that unlike McNuggets, it was delicious
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Photoshop this man and his beautiful balloon
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Dear Mr. Trump, We got the jobs, we don't have qualified applicants
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The trial of the next batch of Branch Dildonians continues, featuring a video of these peaceful protestors discussing whether or not to execute federal employees and their families
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It's been 26 years. Whatever happened to Generation X?
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"Get out of my country" -- Those were the last words a 32-year-old Indian-born engineer heard before being murdered inside a Kansas bar
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Border Patrol at JFK refuse to let passengers arriving on domestic flight deplane without showing their papers. Move along citizen, nothing to see here
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Iowa legislator proposes bill to limit university hires to party loyalists
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Behold - the deep-sea giant WTF
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Just in case you were wondering, American troops are still in Iraq trying to clean up the mess from 2007, which was a cleanup from 2003, which was a cleanup from 1991
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Lawmaker wants to remove Hillary Clinton's landing strip
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Allo allo, what's all this then? Dearie, this man in't dead, he's merely restin'. Look, I tell ya, he got over it, and walked off. Put it in the report: "No offences were identified"
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Just when you thought heroes didn't exist, along comes a scientist who wants to eliminate hangovers by 2050
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Guy wears ladies' bras to work to "understand the brands he works with." That's his story and he's sticking to it
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| Thu February 23, 2017 |
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Ugly-ass gorilla born at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. Winter was too warm for them to freeze to death this year after taking care of the snakes
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Man stopped at red light uses slingshot to take out traffic camera, forgetting that, duh, it's a camera
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Austria's health minister dies of cancer at age 53. Considering everything, probably needed a new one anyway
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Ask not for whom the Taco Bell tolls, it tolls for thee, Naked Chicken Chalupa
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There's nothing nicer on a cold night than burning logs in a campfire or a fireplace - unless of course the logs are packed with pot
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Kid learns painful lesson after shooting beehive with bb gun: bees don't have a sense of humor
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Artificially endowed couple split
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If you don't want to end up smothered & covered, don't try to breakup a Waffle House fight @ 2:30 AM
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Photoshop this starry derelict
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It's never a good idea to annoy a group of tigers. Especially with a low flying drone. A tasty looking low flying drone
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"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." it doesn't say anything about being lazy or being a hoarder
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Why, no, Ossifer, I can't walk straight, but get a load of these cartwheels
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Best Korea decides to bite the hand that feeds it
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If you've ever wondered what a "sophisticated" pot operation looks like, look no further... than this mugshot
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Fark Food Thread: Beans.. they aren't just for chili anymore. Show us to the right how you make beans work in your meals, appetizers, and more
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Woman carrying baby without a brain decides to carry baby to term to donate the organs. Sad tag tearfully gives way to Hero
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Schoolbus driver arrested for DUI after driving Drama Club on field trip after drinking 3/4ths of a gallon of bourbon. If these kids are gonna be real actors, they gotta learn about performing while drunk from somebody
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this manly fightin' man
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Lost Gorilla. Please call if you've seen him, he needs his pump
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Headline: 'Glory Hole brings curious visitors to Whiskeytown Lake'
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Ugly-ass baby sloth makes its appearance very slowly at Mississippi zoo
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Abandoned doomsday shelters make a great place to grow your weed
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While "Radioactive Boars" would make a great name for a grunge band, when they are found roaming close to Chernobyl, it can be frightening
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Former NFL player fired for... holding alcohol?
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Kids found playing with unexploded WWII bomb on beach. As opposed to playing with exploded bomb
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In other news, a federal judge has just added Ft Collins, Colorado to your summer travel plans
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Tourette's syndrome can be funny. No really
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Today is National Toast Day simply because, 'Toast makes people happy. Whatever age you are, everybody loves toast.'
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Spring must surely be near, since the naked redneck trees are blooming
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Yet another reason for everyone to hate Torontonians - mumps
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark Coloring Contest: An Abstract Spring
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Dog bites man, not news. Dog shoots man's girlfriend, now that's a spicy news story
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If guns are God in Bible Belt, does that make Holy Ghost an equalizer, Jesus a pistol?
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Dog surrendered with 'owners manual' written by eight-year-old girl. "Tell Rhino I love and miss him every night"
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Man held by Italian police after the old 'My wife slipped on a banana and fell overboard on the cruise' trick
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Ten portions of fruit and veg cut the risk of an early death but make you wish for it
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Muslims have raised over $100,000 in under 24 hours to help repair a vandalized Jewish cemetery
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Ceiling man is watching you pee
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As if you needed more reasons to shower at night
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| (Good4Utah) |
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I don't know what the record is for time between purchasing a gun and accidentally injuring yourself with it, but this guy may have just broken it
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Australia's government-owned postal service CEO resigns following public disclosure of his salary: 5.6 million dollarydoos, or 11 times that of the Prime Minister
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 616: "I See Your Point 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 22, 2017 |
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Off-duty LAPD cop decides he wants high school students to get off his lawn, so he calls a girl "the c word," assaults another kid, and pulls out his gun and fires it
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That video of a female cyclist attacking a van driver who wanted to know if she was having her period? Fake news, but the kind of fake news that you enjoyed. Not like the bad kind of fake news you're so opposed to the rest of the time
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IBM's Watson is heralding breakthroughs for people everywhere, except Texas. Why? Texas is too corrupt for medical breakthroughs
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Never bring a hammer to a stun-gun fight
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New Russian theme park will allow children to storm the Reichstag like it was 1945 all over again
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Trump administration revokes transgender washroom guidelines because that's important
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I'll see your Fordlandia in the jungle and match it with an abandoned English-owned train station from the 19th century
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Think Bill Gates is the richest man in the world? Think again, comrade
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Girl gets hand stuck in blender. I guess that Goonies remake has been greenlit after all
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Baby born in hospital parking lot. The Sun wasn't there, but a professional photographer was
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Photoshop this plane launch
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GOP calls for defunding SpaceX
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♫ Tainted lunch, tainted lunch ♫
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Firefighters forced to rain garbage down onto sidewalk as they wade through apartment of a hoarder to tackle blaze
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New school in Maine teaches adults how to 'adult', Costs about the same as your drinking problem, without the hangovers
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Playing with a loaded gun after having a couple shots of Jack Daniels and smoking 3 or 4 bowls of marijuana. What could go wrong
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Man passes driving test one day, miraculously survives overturn/flip on A25 the next, his first full day of driving. Climbing out the window wasn't even in the study guide
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This is EXACTLY why I don't answer my door
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This Florida man salutes a cardboard cutout of Trump every morning because he's a normal guy. Totally normal. Nothing to see here
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Vandals deface the Washington Monument, Lincoln and WWII Memorials with bizarre conspiracy theories about the JFK assassination, 9/11, and HIV blood tests. Secret Service officials say they are "pretty sure" Trump was asleep in his bed at the time
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Dick appointed as first female head of London Metropolitan Police
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Cat ownership not linked to mental health problems, according to the voices in researchers' heads
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these green chairs
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Astronomers announce discovery of 7 Earth-like planets orbiting nearby star. "Trappist-1 will live for one thousand billion years. If life is going to emerge in the system, it has all the time it needs"
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Giving a lap dance to a 100 year man with dementia is a crime? Well.... you can just kill me now
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Baltimore killers have the best aim of all big-city killers
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Daawwwwwwwww Tiny Frog
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Hey ya fuggin' Southie, ya lucky this bah switched ta plastic. I'd a busted ya head
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After having him murdered, Kim Jong-Un orders his half-brother's body be stolen from the morgue. Presumably so he can have sexy time with it
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There once was a man from Tibet, who chased the cat 'round the jet, it started to claw, and scratched up his jaw, 'til he fell out and started to fret. Oh shiat, it's time. THIS is your weekly Fark Writer's Thread
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Fake viagra found in children's hospital, which is just wrong on so many levels
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Sea snails could help end opioid epidemic, once you figure out how to snort them
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Today's item spilled all over the highway: 50 pounds of roofing glue
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Unlicensed Rifle Manufacturer: "Hey, I found a loophole" DoJ: "Hey, you found a jail cell"
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Port Authority police told to let suicide jumpers take the plunge and die instead of intervening to rescue them as they normally would
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Sorry, Norway. At $9 a beer, you can keep your world-class democracy, large social net, low economic inequality, high happiness index, hot women, and politicians that actually work together to better their country
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Huge seed deposit made to the Doomsday Vault in the Arctic Circle. I'm sure everything is fine though
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Retro or sad? Urban Outfitters is selling a $45 AOL T-shirt
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While the rest of the world is wringing their hands over terrorist threats, nuclear proliferation and global climate change, Texas is bracing itself for the looming "hog apocalypse"
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Oroville, California wants to make money from disaster tourism. Post your ad slogans in the thread
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Photoshop this kneeling woman
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| (Some Guy) |
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February 22nd is National Margarita Day, so break out the sponge cake but don't blow out your flip flop or step on a pop top
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Initial response to Philadelphia's soda tax. Soda sales down 30 to 50 percent and major grocery chain to cut over 300 jobs
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California storms are forcing Big Sur visitors to get to da choppa
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Sixty-six year old breeds another kid. She is also rumored to bring tremendous bad luck when killed and tied around someone's neck. I'm sure the kid will grow up perfectly normal though, right?
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Thanks to climate change, water shortages, and political instability, you can kiss your favorite supermarket goodbye
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American Airlines now offering a "go fark yourself" fare class
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As spring-like temperatures increase, police remind you there are better ways than driving your four wheeler across it to check if the ice level is safe
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| Tue February 21, 2017 |
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College student receives a care package from his mom. Instead of snacks, the box contains garbage that he forgot to take out when he was home earlier
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Living the American dream: through diligent effort, man advances from State House majority leader to meth dealer
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♫ Our lips are sealed ♫
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| (Some Weather Guy) |
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Worried that all these warm days in February means summer will be unbearable? Worry no more. Unless you live in Columbia SC where it is just miserable regardless
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Don't mind them, they are batshait crazy
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Parents of disabled children fight beer distributor over horse therapy in today's mad lib Florida headline
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Woman born without arms breaks world record for most candles lit by feet. So......yeah
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"Hey everyone let's go take selfies on the frozen ice in Central Park ..but let's break some of the ice first"
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If breaking into a home, and in the middle of burglarizing it, taking a shower and wearing the homeowner's Betty Boop pajama pants is wrong, I don't wanna be right
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Grad student keeps finding lost Whitmans, presumably at the end of the greeting card aisle at Walgreens
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Cops: "We did not locate the dildo allegedly used by Pritsch to strike Favuzza"
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Everything you need to know about Faschingskrapfen in one helpful article. So if anyone ask if you give a krapfen, you can say yes
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Couple caught having sex on a moving motorcycle without helmets. So that's what they're calling them now
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Guy arrested after smashing his car onto the patio of KISS's newest restaurant in Cucamonga. Yes, cops suspect cold gin: "most nights the patio is filled with people sitting around the fire pits"
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| (Some Wimpy) |
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Italian authorities arrest 33 for olive oil fraud. Popeye inconsolable
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District Attorneys sued over wife swapping scheme
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Photoshop theme: An upgrade to spring
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Remember the university that had the "freshman girl dropoff" signs a couple years back? They're in the news again and oh lawd
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Fark NotNewsletter: I don't mean to alarm anyone, but...
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Critically endangered Okapi produces an even rarer Ocopy
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1. Steal gnomes 2. ??? 3. Profit
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Inside Mar-a-Lago - Why Fark needs to combine the 'Politics' tab with the 'Florida' topic...'Floritics'?
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Man on 'trip of a lifetime' dies in plane crash. Well, he got that part right
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Dr. Horrible sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of sing-alongs
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Barcelona police: How can we make this stolen butane truck chase even more dangerous? Lock and load, mi compañero
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There's about to be a massive egg shortage in the U.K. due to unsupervised free range hens. The sluts
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57 snow monkeys killed for having macaque in them
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Police shoot and kill Beaverton man waving a gun around on a roof near an elementary school. Authorities say the shot was not gratuitous
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Lambert St. Louis airport may finally get a useful passenger comfort upgrade -- the ability to buy a beer AND take it back to your gate
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Legislators introduce bill to make Bible official state book. Yep, West Virginia
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Coyote follows spine surgeon into his office after mistaking him for a rocket surgeon
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Old and Busted: Tchaikovsky and cannons. New Hotness: Strauss and Glocks. Don't worry, Pyotr: it's the Russian firing in rhythm
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Half-eaten shark washes up on Florida beach, as some larger shark is no doubt being scolded about starving sharks in China
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Toy boat launched by Charleston SC elementary school students crosses Atlantic, found in Britain. "We were looking across the waves when it literally sailed right to us. It was magical"
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Shots fired at Houston's Ben Taub Hospital. Police are searching the hospital but no injuries or deaths reported
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Milo resigns from Breitbarto
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French purists outraged as McDonald's puts potatoes in Salade Nicoise. Man, here we don't even have a clue what they put in McRibs and no one cares
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Photoshop this simple hut
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If you're a 10 year old and need help with your math homework, and mom & dad are useless, what do you do? Text the local police department for the answers, of course
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Tenants arrested after killing their landlord and living with the body for two weeks. Guess they're not getting their security deposit back
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Today in You're Doing It Wrong: taking notes in class
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Cracker Barrel's passive aggressive attitude towards healthy food and casual racism will be tested in California
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Jogger impales his foot on a nail intentionally placed along the trail. Turns out someone hammered 39 other nails on the trail. The moral of the story is: Exercise is bad for you
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soosh, the farker who hosts the Livingston Stapler Company Presents radio show was moved to Queen Anne Medical Center in Seattle for rehab on February 15th. LGT thread from earlier this week. Updates in thread
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A look at Henry Ford's failed attempt to create a North-American city in the Amazon
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"A Nevada law officer who had multiple DUI arrests and fled the scene of his crashed state vehicle last month is facing new charges of drunken driving and buying heroin for himself and his mother"
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Homeless man lands a full-time job and a security camera captures his celebration
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French waitress refuses to surrender to large Australian lizard. Goanna Girl
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If you recently stayed on vacation at the Stewart Hotel in Scotland and the staff seemed a bit surly, well, more surly than Scots, there might have been a good reason for that
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Attempts to bring free range beef to Queens are not off to a good start
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Finally a government proposal that everyone can agree on as Iceland's President wants to ban pineapple on pizza
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Hospital saves dehydrated baby hippo, to be added sparingly to soups and stews
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Frank Ancona, high ranking member of the Missouri KKK murdered by the thing he loved most, a white man with his gun collection
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Trump is making Los Angeles street vendors great again
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Man trying to burn out moles from yard sets neighbor's house on fire, won't be invited to neighborhood block party
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After 1997 video of "Pint Baby" became sensation on Irish social media, "Pint Baby" reveals himself as 20-year-old bloke who still enjoys his mum's support, and Guinness
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What's worse than firing a nail into your head with a nail gun? Firing one into your crotch: "It makes your eyes water. Even looking back I'm flinching"
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Police have no problem with you installing a flux capacitor, so long as you don't have a fusion reactor
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"That's not a spider (whips out Australia's biggest Huntsman spider), this is a spider"
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It's Schrodinger's murder: A Federal agent standing on U.S. soil shot and killed someone standing on Mexican soil. You're the Supreme Court. What do you do?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this still life with violins
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134,000 fewer suicide attempts among teens thanks to same sex marriage laws
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Fark's favorite fighter plane needs new wings already
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Lake Berryessa glory hole is full of suck (awesome drone / UAV video footage)
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Yesterday in Portland: Police shot a woman in the chest at a "Not My President's Day" protest with non-lethal rounds because she might spit at them (w/video)
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Drunk driver crashes through railings at pedestrian crossing and flips car onto roof in front of police station on one side of the street, rescued by firemen from fire station on the other side of the street - TA-DAH
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Vandals target a historic Jewish cemetery, topple over a hundred headstones
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It's time to speak up about racism in the Flint water crisis
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This week in the normally funny Forest Grove Police log: "In all, officers responded to nine calls involving people suffering mental health issues this date alone"
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Is PewDiePie more like Mel Brooks than like Milo Yiannopoulos?
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You find yourself homeless after being released on bail. Do you: c.) Live in a hospital closet and steal volunteer smocks to avoid suspicion
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After being missing for two months, 26-year-old man found 100 yards from his home
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A street drug that melts plastic? Hmm, sounds intriguing
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| Mon February 20, 2017 |
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TSA tries self-service security at JFK airport. That's a bold plan, Cotton, let's see how that works out for them
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Passengers terrified as man hijacks their Uber, still rate him better than any cab driver
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We've secretly substituted half the venison and river fish diet of Arctic tribes with instant noodles, pasta, bread, and pastries. Let's see if anyone notices
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Elephant re-enacts famous Jurassic Park scene
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Nothing worse than hairless moose
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Problem: an African-American student at Michigan State has a racial epithet written on the whiteboard hung on the door of her dorm room. Campus Police solution: Ban all the whiteboards
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Photoshop this beach beauty
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Tonight at 8PM ET, Paul's Memory Bank presents Swinging Through the Alphabet Part 2. Two hours of songs beginning with the letter "B", spanning 1947 through 1983
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So, Europeans, were you really using your thyroids anyway?
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What goes up must also come down. Even car theft suspects who climb trees to get away (with mugshot)
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Bad paella brought down the Aztecs
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Your tax dollars at work: scientific research confirms that morning nookie is best nookie
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this congratulatory canine
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UFO crashes into the Sun for refueling purposes
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The Virgin Mary: Now with 800% more tentacles
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Vitaly Churkin, Russian Ambassador to the United Nations, dies at his desk. No umbrella was found
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Dream of operating a shady and deceptive business that rips off customers every day? Then set up shop in Missouri, where it'll soon be illegal to sue a business for anything
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Even the damn 'Wheaton' tag gets used more than this one but when you have thousands of Japanese dudes wearing just loincloths competing for the country's annual Naked Man title, it's not only appropriate but mandatory (SFW)
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An 85-year-old cookie has become a family heirloom
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Astronauts are strictly forbidden from getting drunk in space, but NASA admits that several have shown up for launch completely ripped, with booze hidden all through their spacesuits
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Edmonton police give woman ticket for wearing a ferret while driving, which is apparently a crime now
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"A former police officer has been accused of killing homeless people and attempting to resurrect them as zombies in a Russian forest"
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Boston police help a 100-year-old man who had his $100 lottery ticket stolen. Cops make an arrest but can't recover the money so they collect donations from other police officers
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Pope: "Texting during meals is the start of war"
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Free, sitting at curb: Living room chair. Molded into the shape of the 550--pound woman who sat in it for nine months without moving. Needs a little cleaning; HazMat suits recommended when you pick up
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Your abilities on Abilify, clothed captains on YouTube, and Mick Jagger's autobiiiergrrrrrrrp. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-12 to Sat 2017-02-18
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UK police called to break up brawl at children's birthday party; two officers sent to hospital. Proper British understatement of the day: "It all went a little wrong"
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Photoshop this sign and holder
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| (Clearance Clarence) |
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Mullet, Cold War and now another piece of 80's nostalgia is back: ATC Union "prepared to fight for US airspace safety" in light of Trump's freeze on hiring federal employees and the executive branch's hateboner for federal employees and unions
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The city where you spend the most time sitting in traffic jams is Los Angeles. Don't get too cocky New York, you're number three on the list
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Even though you may have sold your "smart" car, you can still control it from your phone. Sleep tight
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No kids, it's NOT ok to hold up KKK signs at a high school basketball game
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Fark ready headline: "Cops warn of cows trying to sell dairy products after escape"
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This single dad taught himself how to do his daughter's hair. Now he has his own class relating to it
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The gay agenda has infiltrated the NSA, the CIA and the FBI. no word yet on vampires taking over Wall Street or the werewolves hiding out in the EPA. Fark needs a 'conspiracy theory' tag
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Two Texans are hunting, shoot each other, and then blame immigrants. Will Trump build a wall to protect us from Texans?
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Two pictures taken on the moon from different places have the exact same horizon, therefore... OMG FAKED
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