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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
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| Sun February 19, 2017 |
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Not news: group provides housing and services for homeless. Florida: Group makes blankets out of plastic bags for homeless
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Two cabbies argue over who will pick up the next customer. One cabbie pulls a knife, the other cabbie pulls a gun. It's the Philly way
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Bald eagle populations are on the rise, and if anyone tries to stop them there will be hell to pay
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Drunk, naked college student found in state capitol arrested for impersonating a legislator
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Photoshop this duck dive
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You know the worst thing about neo-Nazis? No, not that. No, not that. Oh yeah, definitely that. Okay, well they've also ruined a perfectly good haircut
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So what happens to an eating establishment after being awarded a prestigious Michelin star? Let's check in on a French roadside cafe that was given one by mistake
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In any list of unnerving scenarios aboard a commercial plane, right at the top is looking out your window and seeing fighter jets
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Photoshop a typical Fark gathering
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Last week on Snack Food Sunday, we discussed the potato chip. This week, it's all about the humble corn chip. Which is the best, and which is the best dip to use a corn chip with?
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Overdue book returned to Pennsylvania library after 75 years. Still no word on "Tropic of Cancer"
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Meanwhile in the South China Sea, the Navy has sent the USS Carl Vinson carrier task force to engage in "routine operations" in the area. Nothing to worry about, just a casual cruise, everything is fine, how are you?
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If you've ever had a serious conversation with someone about the "Phoenix Lights," have we found the conference for you (tinfoil hats not required, this is serious conference)
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Doesn't it just ruin your day when you watch yet another brothel raid on TV ... and see your wife?
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Reason #4,163 not to be an asshole on a date: Your server might notice and write about it on the internet
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Strange: Woman proposes to man on their first date. Stranger: He accepts. Strangest: A decade on, they're still married
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My daddy was never chicken and neither am I
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Challenge: Finish this unfinished painting
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CSB Sunday Morning: Your Happy Place
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On the 75th anniversary of the internment order, George Takei is beginning to hear the echoes of the past
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It only took 45 minutes for the jury to convict State Trooper who kicked suspect in face and then falsely arrested him
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Student confesses to throwing object at motorcade
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The "Tiny Trump" meme is a thing of beauty
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OK, supposing these 278 pounds of marijuana are for your personal use, how do you explain the 2 lbs. of concentrate, the e-cig cartridges, vacuum sealer and bags, the scale, the cash-counting machine, and the stacks of currency totaling $65,119?
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Sending your boss a picture of a porn star and saying it looks like her is never a good idea, Mr. Police Officer
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"MISSILE INBOUND. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY" ... Oops, my bad
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If you abandoned more than a thousand day-old chicks around Crowland, near Peterborough then the RSCPA would like a word with you, you cheep bas*ard
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| Sat February 18, 2017 |
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YouTube famous Mark Kessler, ex-police chief and guns-rights enthusiast, is arrested for A) spousal abuse, B) child porn, or C) falsifying information for a firearm purchase?
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Photoshop this man among angels
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Kentucky's science ambassador announces addition of new exhibit at Ark Encounter. Dinosaurs battling giants gladiator style
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Tag is for the contractor whose workers gutted the wrong house: He offered to buy the house or at least restore it to its prior condition. (Fail tag's looking for that Nathan Fillion gif.)
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First, they came for the 30-foot tall fire-breathing robot dragons, but I said nothing, for I was not a 30-foot tall fire-breathing robot dragon
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v Wade
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Kinda news: Woman sues after contact lenses cause her to go blind. Fark: Purchased at flea market
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These lucky bastards got to attend the industry-only 2017 Mattel Toy Fair and got to play with some of the coolest shiat you've ever seen
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Photoshop this lava fountain
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Three parkour players arrested for trespassing after one of them has to be pulled out of an incinerator's chimney. Tag should have a plural option
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No, it's not a movie scene. It's a New Zealand cop flying out of his car to tackle a motorcyclist off his bike
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And the score stands at Fukushima: 2, Robots: 0
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Omar's leavin'
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Oreo unveils new Peeps flavor, combining the thing we love with the thing we hate
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In today's day and age, dog walkers are more in demand than teachers
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Here are signature cheap eats from every state, now who wants a slice of shoo-fly pie with Subby?
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Man unsuccessfully stands under Walmart sign for two days hoping it will fall on him so he can sue. Should have gone to Target
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Because every cloud has a silver lining, a U.S.-based t-shirt designer hopes to cash in on the assassination of Kim Jong Nam by selling "LOL" shirts worn by the unwitting assassin
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Oklahoma restaurant owner sends text message to his Latino staff for missing work on "A Day Without Immigrants" that read, simply, "You and your family are fired. I hope you enjoyed your day off, and you can enjoy many more. Love you"
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"Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it." So let's do our bit to avoid the heavy hand of doom and share our favorite history books this week in the Saturday Morning Book Club
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Hair freezing contest is the hottest thing in the Yukon. Winner gets $700 in cold hard cash
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Southern California last week: sure it rained in the North but nothing is solved here. God: O'Rlly?
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Photoshop this jail wall
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Justice League mothers' names, Amazon's new store staffing, and broke students doing math, These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-02-05 to Sat 2017-02-11
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Ozzie and Butter, two identical feline brothers who were separated when they were adopted from the shelter by different people have been reunited 2 years later - because their respective owners met and fell in love. This could only happen on Caturday
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It's your birthday. Why not book your own private island, your own private spa, or your own private movie theater?
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Bay Area glory hole spilling over
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And presenting the winner of the Walter White Teacher of the Year award
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Columbia University plays the old game of "You're accepted. Wait, no you're not" on almost 300 students
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The amazing phenomenon known as The "Yosemite Firefall" only occurs during a two-week window in February. In case you can't make the trip, here are the photos
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| Fri February 17, 2017 |
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Fake news caused China to declare war on Germany. farking CNN
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Study finds the tune that the Cantina Band plays in A New Hope has been named as the track music-streaming Australians are most likely to make love to. Next up: Brits prefer doing the nasty with Yakety Sax in the background
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Power company using drones WITH FLAMETHROWERS to clean trash off power lines. What could possibly go wrong?
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"I now pronounce you house and wife. You may kiss the wall"
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to get an 8th season in 2018. This means the show is now old enough that if a Brony had ever actually touched a woman and had a child when season 1 began, the child would now be in the show's target demographic
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Trash panda hits jackpot, wonders "now what?"
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Nothing to do on Thursday night? Why not go to Burger King and impersonate an FBI agent?
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Photoshop this acrobat
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Iran defeats U.S. Navy in defiant animated film. Apparently we underestimated a military using Bronze Age swords, shields and a catapult
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How do you say Iditarod with an Appalachian accent?
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Cop told to 'tone down gayness' for promotion
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As most of you already know the host of Livingston Stapler Company Presents was in an accident on his way home from the show on February 5th. Received a FB message from his wife that he's being moved to Queen Anne Healthcare on Feb. 15th. Updates in thread
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Peeping Tom drones? It's not unusual
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If you live in Germany and bought your daughter a "My Friend Cayla" doll you need to go into her room and destroy it immediately or face up to two years in jail
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It's not the Virgin Mary, it's a tumor
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If the dam breaks, you will all die, but we're pretty sure we've fixed it with sacks of rocks
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Remember when you used to hate taking tests in school, and now you do it for fun? It's the Fark Friday Weird News Quiz
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Orlando man accused of plotting to blow up stores in stock manipulation scheme. To be fair, they DO have a giant Target on them
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Photoshop this lonely traffic cop
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Alligators in your neighborhood? Don't worry, you can always call into the nuisance alligator hotline
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The City of Houston has a new policy to decriminalize small amounts of marijuana. "We have spent in excess of $250 million, over a quarter-billion dollars, prosecuting a crime that has produced no tangible evidence of improved public safety"
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Don't you hate it when you set down something small like a ring or a screw or a patient's tumor and then you can't find it again?
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Lolsassin was allegedly duped into offing Kim Jong Nam, thinking it was just a hidden camera prank show
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Wisconsin beer garden in February? Let's do it
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The Museum of Ice Cream is coming to L.A
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Pro tip: airlines don't feed passengers so pack your own horse genitals
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Photoshop this man waiting for a train
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Who head butts their 70-year-old mother twice? Honestly
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Glasgow police mocked after releasing 'useless' CCTV stills of a man they want to speak to that are so blurred they look like impressionist paintings: "'We have clearer pics of the surface of Mars"
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Fake news writer who took credit for putting Trump in the White House now says he regrets taking credit for putting Trump in the White House
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| (FTVLive) |
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Eight years ago the biggest issues the White House had with the media were reports on Michelle baring her arms and Barack daring to put spicy mustard on his hamburgers
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In Australia, if the dropbears don't get you the catgaroos probably will
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The average consumer doesn't understand the difference between "sell by," "use by" and "best before," and that's causing tons of food waste
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Disabled Navy veteran beaten for trying to protect turtle from torture
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Seal Beach faces renewed flooding threat from looming storm, fills 600 sandbags, could get a little ... crazy
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| Thu February 16, 2017 |
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PSA: When putting the bar code from a pack of ramen noodles to rip off the store they might notice sooner or later, especially when you buy a rack of lamb or an espresso maker
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Man arrested for stealing from Flame Broiler. By the looks of it, with his face
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Breach compromises personal information of 7,500 B.C. residents, say province archeologists
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Nearly 56,000 bridges called structurally deficient. Have a safe trip home, and would you mind looking at the road as you drive instead of reading this damn headline
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Feeling guilty that you sleep too much? Meet the woman who sleeps 20 hours a day
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Mosquitoes step up bio-warfare attacks against mammals
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Photoshop this man who's been seriously forked
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There's so much water in California now, the entire flood system is on the verge of collapse. Lex Luthor inconsolable
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Are you poor, old, or a minority? Do you also need work done on your teeth? Instead of seeing a dentist, you might have to see a less-educated "dental therapist." Hope you like applesauce and jello
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The only solution to a bad guy with a drone is a good guy with a golden eagle
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Google reports over 1 billion YouTube videos now have closed captions, generated by computer is grains and that allows a sense in its ability to understand the united daily work, selects of closing time tracker
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Hasbro decides to replace thimble on their Monopoly board game after voters decided it's out of date. To be replaced with a miniature Trump tower
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Pigeon caught smuggling a mobile phone into Brazilian prison. Someone musta sang (pics)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this black and white shot
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Judge orders a Kennedy to abstain from drugs, alcohol and having sex with starlets
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Oh, come on. We refrigerate everything. We keep guns in the refrigerator
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Proposed bill would allow cities to determine "last call" time for bars in California. Similar bill failed in 2013, but every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end
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'Stay out of our election,' France warns Russia, immediately followed by 'and stop snickering'
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Q: What's better than a giant image projected in NYC showing Putin lovingly spooning a very pregnant Trump? A: Nothing. Absolutely nothing
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Tesla driver sacrifices his car to save a fellow driver having a stroke. Elon Musk pledges to cover the cost of repairs
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Morning comes early to Ephrata, WA as electrical substation explodes
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PSA: When you're recycling an old TV, make sure it wasn't the one your friend stashed $100,000 in. Cash Stash trifecta now in play
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Science teacher proposes to math teacher in front of class filled with 5th graders. With video of 5th graders freaking out
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Not news: ICE detains undocumented woman. News: At courthouse, while seeking restraining order against abusive boyfriend. Holy F*ck: Likely based on tip from abusive boyfriend
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Doctors say man's attempt at smuggling gold bars almost rectum
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Abilify drug blamed for compulsive gambling, eating, shopping and sex. Sounds like it lived up to its name
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Student at Bristol University accidentally makes triacetone triperoxide. Typical bloody students
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"Don't be silly honey, that 'illness' you think you have is just the 'man flu'"
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Photoshop this very strong man
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California dam on the verge of overflowing. No not that one, the other one
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If you want to get a pretty woman's attention, throw your dog at her, Mr. Smooth
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Finally a cocktail syrup that tastes just like Mardi Gras, minus the urine, vomit, and underboob sweat
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Chinese residents breathe a smog-filled small sigh of relief at the thought that China may lose its title as the country with the world's deadliest air. Sucks to be you India
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"How many of us tell our children to avoid peer pressure, and to stay away from drugs because they are harmful, but openly provide catnip to our feline family members?"
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Late Little Caesars founder Mike Ilitch paid Rosa Parks' rent for up to a decade after she was burglarized. If only Papa John were half the man he was
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Man with nothing better to do for a few hours spends it blocking the view of police speed camera vans on the highway: "People have been loving it. One person got in touch and said: 'Not all heroes wear capes'" (pic)
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Not news: You forget to plug in your phone to recharge overnight. Fark: The nursing home forgets to plug in Grandpa to recharge his heart pump overnight
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Google's most sophisticated A.I. will murder anyone who stands in the way of its green apples
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 615: "Holy Macro!". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 15, 2017 |
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PSA: When donating a shirt to Goodwill make damn sure it wasn't the shirt where your husband was hiding $8000 in cash
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"City of the Dead" gets a little artistic sprucing up so the residents aren't so depressed because they live in a graveyard city
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Some days, you just want to go shark fishing in your underwear
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While pop-culture assassins are dressed in black leather or wear cool hooded capes, the reality seems to be quite different
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The mass beaching of whales in New Zealand in recent weeks was not just some ordinary tragedy, it was a warning that a HUGE earthquake is coming soon
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How to live forever while only eating McDonald's. Probably it'll just seem like forever
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Which famous musician do you think deserves a biopic? What actor or actress do you think should play him or her? I nominate Ian McShane for Ronnie Drew, or John Hodgeman for Roy Orbison
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The strange love story of the UPS driver and Pearl the goat. With video goodness
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Substitute school bus driver sees mom struggling to get her wheelchair-bound daughter down flight of steps at their house, isn't having it. At all. Gets some buddies and some free lumber from Lowe's and builds deluxe ramp in an afternoon
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Photoshop this NYC streetscape
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People evacuating their homes because of California dam crisis left behind some kangaroos, zebras, deer, probably some dogs and cats as well but those didn't make the news
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Bank of England to vegans: Just keep the five pound notes out of your mouth and you'll be fine
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Pentagon considering ground troops for Syria within weeks as part of Trump's plan to accelerate fight against ISIS
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Florida Woman is transported by ambulance to 7 different hospitals during epic 26-hour doctor shopping spree
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Small aircraft hits deer and... Oh, c'mon... this was literally a Bill Engvall comedy routine
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Thank you for your generous donation of computers for kids. Just kidding: I took them to the dump (with mugshot)
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| (Wix) |
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Photoshop this paused pose
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If USA wants Crimea returned to Ukraine, Russia wants Alaska back
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"The moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on." unless of course it's in rewriting mode, in which case is buries itself in shame and erases everything because THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
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Virginia principal who ordered removal of diversity posters allows them to go back up after social media uproar, explains that he was only concerned they, um, weren't diverse enough and some groups might feel left out. Yeah, that's the ticket
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Apparently, it's technically legal to screw police officers with booby traps. Or at least, they can't find out what law to use
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Alabama House passes bill to deny funding to "sanctuary" colleges offering safe havens to immigrants, minorities from hate crimes, because nobody wants that in the state
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Here's the presidential order of succession -- just in case
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In these parlous, challenging times, we all need something that we can agree on, something that unites us, something that gives us a calm acceptance of the world and our place in it. So here it is: Young millennial drivers are the worst
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"He will die in jail." Intelligence community ready to go nuclear
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84 years ago today, an anarchist leveled his pistol very close to the parade route of president-elect Roosevelt. Read how the quick-thinking reaction of a petite woman foiled the would-be assassin
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Fireworks plus stupid usually equals jail
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Idaho man's pet squirrel Joey goes nuts on burglar
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"The most likely situation is that during the burial they lost their grip on the coffin and it rolled and fell in upside down, they looked down and said, 'You know what, no one's ever going to know'"
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FAKE CHEWS
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Consumers of a substance that has been linked to cancer, stroke, brain damage, and mental illness are becoming worried about banned pesticides that are used during the cultivation of that substance
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this inquisitive gaze
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Only in New York can your obituary read "Killed by rat urine"
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Man sends woman a bill for $60 after she refused a second date
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Utilities companies vote to make America weak again by closing a major coal plant in Arizona
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"We are all Mia the distracted beagle"
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What's purchased in Vegas, stays in Vegas
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Nobody wants to live on Dick Street
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China plans floating nuclear plants. This way, if there's a meltdown, it will only hurt the ocean
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McDonald's just exposed your buns to an unprotected nutsack
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Russians deny "unsafe and unprofessional" flybys near USS Porter
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| (FTVLive) |
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TV news reporter who had been campaigning to toughen state DUI laws gets busted for DUI
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It's 2017 and you can still be suspended from high school in Mississippi if you're a guy who dyes your hair pink
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A new study reveals most Texas school districts offer little sex education because isn't that what the 4-H Club is for?
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Mailing meth do's and don'ts: Do address it to yourself as a guest, and not just the hotel. Don't put your name as the return address
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| Tue February 14, 2017 |
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I-Mockery's annual Valentine's Day card collection. The perfect gift for that special someone you love to hate
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Half of Japan's married couples haven't had sex in more than a month. PHFFTT amateurs
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Georgia Church caught up in "poisoning plot". Just to be clear: not the state of Georgia, and not the Baptist church
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Your vision of the classic Valentine was perfected by a woman who never married
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Repeated contacts with Russian intelligence throughout the campaign, you say?
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Canadians looking for love in all the wrong places. Namely online
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Japanese navy reports that one of their sailors fell off minesweeper into sea. Experts recommend looking for angry birds diving into ocean solitaire
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As Japanese society rapidly ages, restaurants and nursing homes heat up gourmet purees for foodies who no longer have the strength to chew or swallow but fear the feeding tube
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Russia names price for tour into space. No one is in the line yet
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"If you forgot to make dinner reservations for you and your Valentine, there's at least one option available for a candlelight dinner. White Castle." Bedroom smelling reeeeal funky in 3...2...1
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Everything you didn't want to know about what your Grandma is doing after bingo night
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| (Some Rocky Guy) |
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Photoshop this rock formation
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Do you want ants on your roads? Because that's how you get ants on your roads
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Donald Trump's non-stop talk about walls, deportation and his love for his daughter Ivanka actually make for pretty creative Valentine's Day card taglines
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Uploaded cellphone footage of rats frolicking in your McDonald's? Ba da ba ba ba, you're fired
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Turns out CALexit is lead by a guy living in Russia. Nothing fishy with that
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High School senior plays the odds, buys every female in the building a rose for Valentine's Day - teachers, staff and students
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Snow blowers are great for clearing sidewalks, driveways, finding murder victims buried under snowfall
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"Right, gang, let's get it all-the boat motor, the seats, the fishing poles and tackle, even the boat trailer." "Yeah, boss, but what about the boat itself?" "Boat? Why would we want to steal that?"
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What triggers a TSA search: a) anything in your bags b) looking brown c) jesus you have bags and are brown, get out the latex gloves
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Study links working more than 39 hours a week to poor mental health. So Trump has that going for him
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Harrison Ford to air traffic control: "Everything is perfectly alright now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"
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Pedro Hernandez found guilty of the 1979 murder of Etan Patz, one of the first missing children pictured on milk cartons
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When leading police on a 100mph freeway chase, don't let the little things break your concentration. Like rolling your car for instance
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Are you a nobody that desperately wants VIP access to your favorite band? Just edit the band's Wiki page to claim you're the lead singer's cousin, and offer it as "proof" to security goons. BRILLIANT
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Man turns himself in for bestiality charges, because the evidence against him was mounting
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Photoshop this empty winter jacket
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Man arrested for going all Peter Gabriel on a car
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Not content with Brexit, UK contemplates leaving the planet
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Pink Pistols offers firearm training to Orlando GLBTQ community because armed gays don't get bashed. "The thought of me holding a gun is terrifying"
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Alanis Morrisette burglarized for $2 million in jewelry. No word if they got the cross she bears that was given to her by that guy from Full House
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Dam evacuees may not return home for f*cking two weeks. Shiat
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As snow melts away after months of winter, backyards yield their hidden artifacts like grass, kids' toys, dog droppings, dead moose, yard tools ... Wait, what?
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Expert fortune cookie writer quits due to "writer's block" in bed
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The hearings will begin any minute now
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Red Pandas at Winnipeg...you've already left to daaww at the cuteness
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Have you shopped at Ikea lately? You're probably in a relationship death-trap with your SO that is spiraling out of control
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Ha ha ha, sexual assault is funny, ha ha- whaddya mean I'm fired?
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This day in 1779, Patriots win just outside Atlanta with an overwhelming ground game
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Burger King is offering an adult "Happy Meal" for Valentine's Day with adult toys and a happy ending
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Disney cuts ties to youtube star Anti-JewDiePie after he posts several anti-semitic videos
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Dear Amy: I checked my home's security footage and saw my neighbor's son buying drugs. Should I narc on him?
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Remember that driver in Nashville who hit a bunch of protesters with a car? Tennessee is now trying to pass a law to exempt future protest crushers from civil liability
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Thinking they really have a chance Calexit supporters hold a forum and signature drive to get the issue on the 2018 state ballot
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Photoshop this starfighter
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Assisted living for seniors is just like being a teen in your parents' house again. Especially when it comes to sex
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Facial recognition cameras allow store to lock doors to masked intruders
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Don't look now, but one of Kim Jong Il's sons was assassinated this morning
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"Dear Prudence: My mother is a conservative Christian. We both have anxiety; cannabis oil helps me. Can I give her some and not tell her what it is until later? She thinks cannabis is a narcotic; is it possible she will she say I drugged her?"
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Woman complains about getting a totally free penis shirt
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"The problem is not just that the people who operate airport stores are soulless monsters; the problem is also that an airport is a fully enclosed environment and they know you don't have any other choice"
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Hitler lookalike arrested in Austria. They really don't take any chances
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It can be tough to tell sometimes whether a reporter has quit or been fired, but when the TV station sends out a release saying the guy left "to pursue other opportunities", and the 'opportunity' is a Tom Petty tribute band, yeah: shiatcanned
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University Bookstore worker stole over $20,000 worth of text books, so 4?
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Hey Jim, you know what would be great? A bunch of little trees in the middle of the soccer field. Wow Sam, that is a great idea
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Plans for a Taco Bell in Alexandria, VA canceled after local residents voice concerns over bad hombres and other riffraff who might frequent it
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A fish & chips shop in Britain could get a Michelin star
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Steal a van once, shame on you. Steal it twice, shame on the dead guy in the back
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Russian Ambassador to the White House resigns
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Thousand-pound concrete chicken missing from property in Taylorsville, NC. Authorities suspect fowl play
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A story that could not be more German unless lederhosen were involved: How a shared crate of beer ended in a bitter legal dispute over an Audi
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Ten Months after the leak of the "Panama Papers" Panamanian authorities get around to deciding that the law firm at the heart of the scandal was up to no good, and arrest its senior partners
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Great news if you have a problem with mice stealing all your cocaine
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Fark NotNewsletter: Fark app update and more
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Good: surviving a violent carjacking. Better: being brave enough to testify in court. Best: forgiving your attackers. Detroit: who are somehow set free and no one knows why
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Back street dentistry: still a bad idea
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Giant radio galaxy found. Sadly Starship's "We Built this City" was playing at the time
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Photoshop these '60s vacationers
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It's always a drag when you don't want to have sex with someone. Especially if you end up standing in front of their car when they drive angrily away afterwards
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This week, Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) starts Swinging through the Alphabet. All songs (except one) begin with the letter "A" (unless there's a "The" in front of it)
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Final Bowling Green Massacre survivor on the road to recovery
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A 93-year-old man is claiming the title of Britain's longest-serving pub regular after going to the same local for more than eighty years and downing at least 40,000 pints
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Here's the nightmare scenario at Oroville Dam that officials are trying to prevent
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Apparently the magic had gone out of the Imperial Wizard's marriage
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San Francisco protest chant: "Clothes are boring / clothes are lame / Let's say 'No' to body shame" (not safe for work)
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What's the old saying about the apple not falling far from the tree?
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Bet you didn't know Des Moines has a marina
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Man earns his first DUI by hitting several parked cars and a house
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Photoshop this pleasant walking path
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Chain reaction car crash due to snow. Just kidding, it was a flying mattress
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A new treatment is available for patients with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, and it only costs $1000 a year -- unless you live in America, where it costs $89,000 a year
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Well now, this could get interesting: The tribes opposing the Dakota Access Pipeline are back in court, but this time not just arguing that the pipeline could contaminate their drinking water, but that building it violates their religious freedoms [link fixed]
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Bullets help cause lead poisoning, though the holes they leave in your body are probably a bigger concern
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Cash is always welcome unless it is jock, sock or boob money
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Trial starts for woman who chainsawed lover to death during sex, having apparently read a misprint of "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way"
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Doctors prepare world's heaviest woman for dinner. Surgery. That should be surgery
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Donald Trump spreads debunked story about Sanders. Apparently, he's not a Colonel after all
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Here are the states with the most disciplinary problems in schools. Is it a problem where you went to school or in your state?
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So who are the most generous long-distance lovers on Valentine's Day? How about Filipinos in Germany?
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Restaurant tales: stories of awful children and their awful parents
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Happy International Condom Day. Those who forgot to write it down still have time to mark their calendars for the upcoming Mother's and Father's Days
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Not News: Chinese officials punished for dozing off at a meeting. Fark: for dozing off in a meeting on how to motivate lazy bureaucrats
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Photoshop this Catholic guy blessing a child
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Hundreds of flying foxes die during Australian heatwave. Oh, poor cute foxes. Wait a second, those are giant bats. Aussies are an amusing bunch, aren't they?
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Apparently whales won't explode if you poke a hole in them. Must be why the Japanese keep harpooning them
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Oh, it's okay, we don't need to fix this bridge...we built another underneath to catch the falling asphalt
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My Fit Foods closes all stores nationwide, because most Americans prefer My Fat Foods
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Good: You're now the world's oldest known gorilla. Bad: You're stuck in the Arkansas zoo
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Archdiocese to coed 5th grade basketball team: Drop the two girls from the team or forfeit your season. Boys on the team: We forfeit
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