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| Sun February 05, 2017 |
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Falcons win popular vote
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In case you were wondering which lousy pizza place is closest to you
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"Hold my cruise ship drink, I'm going to leap 55ft off this cruise ship diving board and somersault into this pool"
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Meet the only criminal forensic ornithologist in the United States
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this mortal coil
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| (Walmart.com) |
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I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a cartoon penis in a listing for a digital camera on Walmart.com (page is Farked, but the image is the first post in the thread)
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Newscasters try to explain what various emojis mean without having a clue
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Photoshop this sea route
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Passengers enter NYC subway car filled with Nazi graffiti, are unsure what to do. One guy: "Hand sanitizer removes Sharpie. Who's got some?" Within minutes car full of people are working together to literally wipe out hate
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Thieves steal $3.7M worth of engines, but joke's on them because they're Jag engines
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Breast-feeding may have been involved, but it was probably the Cubs
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Teen math prodigy lands teaching gig at UCLA. What were YOU doing at 18?
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In honor of the day, where Americans of all stripes gather together to stuff their faces, welcome to the first Snack Food Sunday thread. This week: last minute party snacks
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Are you sick of going to bed late and waking up tired? Then grab your hiking boots and a tent. Yes, in February
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On the list of places it's never a good idea to break into, police stations are pretty near the top
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1,941 people break the world record for most humans simultaneously floating in the water, topping the old record set in NYC's East River
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Man parks truck on top of car to defend family in road rage incident, police say
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Photoshop this underwater hula hoop user
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CSB Sunday Morning: Friendly bets
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Romero Institute releases study which finds that vaginas can be expensive
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Trump supporters want to boycott Budweiser because new commercial portrays immigrant founder in a positive fashion
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If an Arizona legislator gets his way, passengers in cars will need to show their ID cards or risk going to jail
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The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit announced, at a time they knew Trump would be wide awake, that they have denied the Department of Justice's emergency motion to lift the travel ban restraining order
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Investigators have discovered the cause of that piano shop fire. You might want to sit down for this. . . It was. . A bad cord. Pianist
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's the pre-Super Bowl edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
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| Sat February 04, 2017 |
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When a headline asks a question, the answer is usually no. Usually
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Muggers tell how they pick their victims. Yeah, it's pretty much what you'd guess
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Arizona Chamber of Commerce president calls teachers "crybabies" for wanting better pay in a state where the average teacher salary is the worst in the country. That's not how to attract good companies to your state, pal
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Photoshop this criminal being evicted
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Up to two dozen bald eagles have found a great place to bed down for the winter, complete with juicy rainbow trout to enjoy
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I have a candy bowl at my desk at work. Peanut M&Ms are the most popular, but I switched to packaged stuff for sanitary reasons. I like to keep it interesting so I recently stocked it with small Slim Jims and more recently fortune cookies. What next?
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Bright yellow car notorious for photobombing pictures of photogenic village vandalised. Police seeking tourist with poor photoshop skills
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Teens these days aren't known for doing intellectual things. Case in point: snorting condoms through your nose and out your mouth
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Learning cursive handwriting will soon be a requirement for Arizona students. The problem is that teachers need brushing up on it, too
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Man guilty of having sex with a horse ordered to reign in the urges he been saddled with
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"This is Walmart. We don't take kindly to diaper thieves around here." *BANG*
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Cost of average American wedding reaches record-breaking $35,329 ... farm animals, drones, gospel choirs and drunk brides included
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Even the bubble wrap washing up on the beach in Australia is deadly
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Photoshop this list writer. BONUS: Two angles to choose from
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Forget the Super Bowl or the upcoming NBA All Star game, we now have a new world record in cup stacking
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Flu spreads to forty states
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For seemingly the 100th time - The FBI will never show up unannounced and demand money
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Pizza Hut employee and company president trade places: She gets Super Bowl tickets, he does her job for the day
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"Quick, clear the snow." Boeing 777 makes precautionary landing at tiny remote Canadian airport that most can't even pronounce
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Watch various scared Swedes on top of a 10 meter board, stay for the last woman who totally kicks ass
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Sure, journalism isn't a really high-paying job for most reporters, but that doesn't mean recruiting entry-level writers into an international cocaine smuggling ring is the answer, Mr. Music Editor
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Australian fisherman use tried and true Aussie method of warding off a Great White Shark. And you better believe it involves Not Safe For Work language, mate
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| (Some How To Guy) |
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This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club we're looking for the best "How To" books, the ones that are indispensable or just downright useful
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Fire destroys local piano shop. No matter how you spinet, it's not grand. It's an upright disaster
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They target white vans for tools, why not paint them black... Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm..., hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
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| (Vman) |
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Photoshop this new trend
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Ollie the bobcat escaped her enclosure at the National Zoo, prompting a massive search by zoo keepers and police, who fail to find her. If only they had thought to look near the zoo's bird house, they could have avoided being a Caturday headline
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Daycare asks parents picking up their children in the afternoon to put down their phones and at least pretend like they're happy to see their kids
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Feeling the burn is actually bad, you don't need to stretch before a workout, you can swim right after eating, and other exercise myths debunked
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The healing can never begin until cops stop applauding when they witness an anti-Trump protester get punched
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"Hold my beer and watch this"
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| (Some Other Burger Clown) |
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Jack In The Box introduces Triple Bacon Buttery Jack, made with bacon, bacon mayo, bacon butter & dammit why won't you die already?
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Radiation unique to Fukushima meltdown has been detected in southern B.C. salmon. EVERYBODY PAN... Fark it, you'll get a higher dose by sitting in the Sun for 20 mins
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Forget Punxsutawney Phil, down in Texas they have Bee Cave Bob the armadillo predicting that our nightmarish 2 weeks of winter is almost over
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Cockroaches in my brain? It's more likely than you think
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Dude, where's my car? Oh yeah, crashed into Leonard's house again
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| Fri February 03, 2017 |
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Fark Headline: Could Super Bowl halftime potty breaks harm Fraser sinkhole mess?
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Warning: Objects in windshield are much closer than they appear
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Shut the hell up and look at how happy this wiener dog is to be reunited with his favorite toy after almost 5 years
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PSA: If you want to get a tattoo that's your business, however getting a tattoo on a hairless cat is just plain stupid
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U-581: Kriegsmarine Hide-and-Seek Champion, 1942-2017
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After careful experimentation, the Portland Department of Transportation discovers that salt will melt ice. This is not a repeat from the 16th century
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| (Some Guy) |
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Local government encourages residents to drink more alcohol
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If you drive a Nissan Altima, Nissan wants you to know that your door will sometimes open if your window is down. Oops
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| (Goop) |
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When the heat in your relationship is gone, light your bra on fire
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Imagine mistakenly wandering across the Indian border in 1963 and not being able to go home to China to this day? Happened to this poor sod
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Why do women have the best sex of their lives at the age of 33?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this finger puppet family
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Federal Judge to Trump: how about no on that travel ban of yours?
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Remember the starving toddler found living on the streets in Nigeria because his parents thought he was a witch? Well one year full of love along with three hots and a cot have made a world of difference
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El Chapo annoyed that American jailers take keeping him in jail seriously
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USS Cole is patrolling off the coast of Yemen. Let's hope this isn't a repeat from 2000
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So those videos Centcom showed off yesterday of all the "valuable intelligence" they supposedly captured in that disastrous raid in Yemen that got a Navy SEAL killed? Yeah, they just copped to the fact those are really videos that have been online since 2007
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Montana legislature debates bill allowing hunters to wear fluorescent pink instead of orange, dubbed the "Aw Hell No What the Sweet Christ Y'all Buncha Damn Sissy Pantywaists Thinkin'" Act of 2017
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Heard of the 'Don't flash your headlights at high beams' urban legend? Not an urban legend anymore
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Bearded man tosses explosives into a Pasadena CA Cheescake Factory. Penny Hofstadter thankful she no longer works there
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Photoshop this classically posing dog
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New York police investigate a potential suicidal jump off the George Washington Bridge, though some witnesses say a green man on a glider was seen battling with a man in red and blue tights and tossed a bound blonde woman over the side
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Man opens dental practice after watching a few YouTube videos. Fark: And performs some successful procedures before getting caught
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Does it bug the hell out of you to hear other people eat? If yes, scientists say your brain is abnormal
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Man who repeatedly insists in divorce court that he's unable to pay his ex-wife's attorney fees because he's broke and unable to find work shows up to court one day driving a brand new car. You can guess what happens next
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I'm a cheerleader crab, your argument is invalid
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"Alcohol abuse may be the single best predictor of whether you commit gun violence in America"
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Some guidelines for Tinder users. 1: Don't send pictures of your schlong 2: Don't swipe left compulsively 3: Make sure your date doesn't rob your clothes and leave you to walk home naked
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Japan has a word for "literally worked to death." It's "karoshi" and it happens pretty frequently
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Influential muggle news outlet Washington Post censors the word "mudbl--d" (paragraph 11)
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The City of Ottawa to use a big red O for all their transit stops. However, men may never know if it is fake or real
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Police station fumigated after men caught in a store sex act were found to have scabies
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Dozens of Britons notice the introduction of vegetable rationing. Haggis still an acceptable entree
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Relax everyone. There won't be an aporkalypse
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Photoshop this typical winter event
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Doctors are warning parents about the latest stupid internet game called "the salt and ice challenge." Basically it gives your skin instant frostbite, and you lose blood vessels and nerve endings. Yay
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Man brings knife to a gun fight at the Louvre with predictable results
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Need something to smile about? Watch this awesome school teacher's custom handshakes
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A third of U.S. citizens believe only Christians can be true Americans like Jesus was
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'Sharkwater' filmmaker disappears in ocean near Florida Keys, presumed to be making new documentary detailing life inside a shark
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Vets are seeing a lot of stoned dogs lately. Symptoms include lethargy and non-stop video game play. Also, loss of appetite which makes no sense. These dogs don't know how to party
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Germany erects wall around America and the tourists love it
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Kellyanne Conway cites the infamous Bowling Green Massacre in defense of Trump's Muslim ban. And really, who could ever forget that tragic event?
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IRS lawyer arrested for selling meth. Adding insult to injury: his plans to deduct his expenses on Schedule C derailed by 26 USC § 280E
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| Thu February 02, 2017 |
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*Sigh* Once again, when at the airport or on a plane don't talk about having a bomb. In fact, avoid using the word "bomb" at all
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Judge Doody drops the puck on gold digger that smuggled precious metals in his Canadian starfish
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Rival gang member slaps the living shiat out of dead man at his funeral
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this ultra first class section
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Family finds rattlesnake in toilet bowl, 23 more under the house. Don't sit down, Marie
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Agency responsible for Seattle light rail seems to forget escalators are transportation too, and critically important when light rail station designers opt not to include stairs
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That's one talented pecker
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Randy Christian probes corpse found by squirrel hunter
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FL votes cast for Mickey Mouse exceed Trump's margin of victory over Clinton. Florida tag edges out, Strange, Unlikely, and Sad tags by a hanging chad
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Topless women leave Buenos Aires beach peacefully but state "To make the tit-phobes happy, we're leaving this fascist beach, but we'll be back another day and there will be many more of us" (Not safe for work video in article)
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Caption Tiger Woods
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| (Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: Valentine's Day is coming soon.. Have a dish you love to make for the special occasion?
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If the groundhog sees his shadow, six more weeks of winter, if he doesn't, an early spring. If he sees Mayor de Blasio, he rolls over and dies
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What hath globalization wrought? Somali immigrants in America, homesick for a taste of the old country, take advantage of unwanted feral camels in Australia, and sell them as burgers and kebabs in the states. Capitalism, ta-da
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Photoshop this LEGO Porsche in its natural setting
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It's official: Matt Drudge has aligned himself with Jar Jar Binks in an effort to destroy civilization
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Y'ever have one of those days where you feel like crashing your truck into your old workplace, beating up your ex-boss, then keeling over?
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Lessons learned from flying a B-17 over Italy include: Don't underestimate the Regia Aeronautica's fighter pilots, Texans are arrogant jerks, avoid French sausage
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Hitler phone up for auction, highest bid from anonymous bidder in Washington DC
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Let's revisit the cautionary tale of The Leaning Tower of San Francisco and see how things are unfolding
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"A seemingly-psychic Twitter account has appeared, apparently predicting Brexit, the Trump presidency and Beyoncé's baby news. Because we've got too much time on our hands, here's our theory how they're doing it"
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Fearless praying mantis vs. the curious cat
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Dad of woman who had sex at courthouse and posted it on Facebook says he's NOT shocked
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Arnold Schwarzenegger responds to Trump: How about we switch jobs? Then people can sleep comfortably again
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27 rum and cokes in nine hours. Amateur
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Mayor accused of disturbing 14 graves, must now prepare for a zombie attack
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Trump calls on National Prayer Breakfast attendees to pray for Arnold Schwarzenegger's Apprentice ratings
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Japanese antidote for overwork is taking "inemuri" naps in public. As opposed to the U.S. where it's called the Monday afternoon staff meeting
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what this Slime gauge is attached to
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Punxsutawney Phil sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of winter
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Punxsutawney Phil sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of winter
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Punxsutawney Phil sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of winter
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Let us all give a toast to the bartender's handshake
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If the cops show up at your home to arrest you on child pornography charges, it never looks good when they find you chopping up your tablet with a hatchet
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Lawnmowers kill seven times more people than refugees from Islamic countries. Trumpy planning on deporting Kubota back to Japan for the safety of 'Murica
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| (Groundhog.org) |
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Okay campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today as America finds out whether there will be six more weeks of winter by pulling a rodent out of a hole on Groundhog Day. Live stream starting at 6 AM
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This Valentine's Day, why not give your lover a bouquet of beef jerky formed to look like flowers?
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Researchers reveal Punxsutawney Phil doesn't care whether it's winter or not, he only comes out of his hole because he wants to get some
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 613: "Frickin' Laser Beams". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 01, 2017 |
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The lesson here is: Don't hand over your valuables to a stranger while you head off to have sex in the park, and then claim to have been robbed
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Father reunites with daughter he never knew after discovering she lives in same town and drinks at the same pub
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Lego brick made of 14 carat solid gold sells for £12,000, still hurts like a mofo when you step on it
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Presenting the world's first magazine devoted to redheads. Because "redheads are one of the smallest minorities all over the world and they have this special look which almost everyone reacts to"
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Your problem is obvious, if we're gauging the situation correctly
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Before you call the police to report a strange drilling sound, make damn sure it's not your vibrator going wild in the bathtub
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Turns out that convoy that drove through Louisville flying a Trump flag on Sunday belonged to a Navy Special Warfare unit. No, that's not ominous at all
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Teacher fired for working as porn actress more than 16 years ago says she didn't expect the district to shtupp so low
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Canadian billionaire denies he's been kidnapped by the Chinese secret police, the most professional, most polite, world-class secret police force in the world
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Sure your dog wants steak, but this deer wants fresh baked cookies and buns
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Photoshop this human furball
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US recalls smokeless tobacco for sharp metal objects, to be re-branded as "Skoal with Iron"
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Prison guards reportedly held hostage inside Delaware prison
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Dawwwwwwwwwww... Cute red panda cubs go exploring at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Yes Subby said 'cute' red panda cubs
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The Westminster Dog Show has added a new category: Alt-Dogs
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Woman quits her job and sets up her own business catching wild alligators - saying they're not scary just 'misunderstood.' Come back next year when 'Stumpy' updates us on her experiences
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Ugly-ass jaguar twins a surprise birth at a zoo because the couple didn't hit it off
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If you ever wanted an authentic Mayor McCheese or Hamburglar playground ride for your backyard, now is your chance
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Nun gets death threats after suggesting the Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin after all and had sex with Joseph
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Hemingway, on writing: "All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence you know." Okay, here goes: "THIS is your Fark Writers' thread"
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What carries a 20 year jail sentence in Virginia? a) Robbery b) Assault or c) Setting a potted plant on fire?
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Ok, you've already got a bunch of face tattoos but you've been sitting in jail on murder charges since 2015. What would you do? What. Would. You. Do?
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Photoshop this simple farmer and his horse
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Study: Frog tongues are amazing in the sack
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Fast food wrapper chemicals linked to kidney and testicular cancer, elevated cholesterol, decreased fertility, thyroid problems, changes in hormone functioning, adverse developmental effects, and decreased immune response in children." I'M LOVIN' IT
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Think your HOA is bad? This one is trying to stop a guardrail being built after six cars crash into a house
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Wanted: One new guided-missile cruiser captain, as the current job holder is going to get his ass fired shortly
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Woman illustrates why she was kicked off Spirit Airlines
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Haven't seen one of these on Fark in a while so here's the return of mugshot roundup. Come in for number 2, stay for 4,5,12 and 14. Bonus: deslidified for your viewing pleasure
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Reports that Queen Elizabeth has legal authority to behead Donald Trump have been found to be false
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Six peepholes were found in a North Carolina men's rest stop bathroom. Who hasn't had the fantasy of checking out fat truckers and retired old men relieving themselves
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We put 700 red dots on a map to see if anyone would lose their shiat after seeing it
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Substitute teacher discovers that commando cartwheels are not OK
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Billy Joel will play Lambeau Field in Wisconsin, marking the first time he's ever been in a building where he has fewer DUIs than the average person in the crowd
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Woman stabs date, tries to eat his heart in quest to be serial killer. Turns out love is not all she's unlucky at
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Dispute over a man's last words, Giant Meteor's take on the election, and how to get less sleep. These are YOUR highest voted Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-22 to Sat 2017-01-28
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Oh. My. God. The U.S. Bacon Reserves have hit a fifty-year low. EVERYBODY PANIC AND STOCKPILE BACON
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Let's start drinking early since we didn't last Friday Afternoon. Little Bailey's in the coffee, maybe a mimosa, This is YOUR last Friday's Fark Weird News Quiz
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Photoshop what the man with the funny orange hair has drawn
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Mother, father, and baby all have the same birthday, a 1-in-48 million odds of it happening (Edit: more like 1 in 133,225)
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There are many ways to decipher if a paper currency is fake, including examining the fibers, acid washing the ink, or noticing the words 'MOTION PICTURE USE ONLY' printed on one side
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Old man refuses to sell his giant 40-year-old cock bush
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Forget the Doomsday Clock, the Rapture Index knows what time it is
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If you're the police commissioner, do your best not to smile in your mugshot after getting arrested for domestic violence
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Here's a look at everybody's favorite prison food: Nutraloaf: "It's not something you swallow easily. Basically, it's baked slop with surprise pineapple pieces"
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| Tue January 31, 2017 |
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If a food truck is so filthy that you don't even want to touch the hygiene manual, it's filthy (pics)
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Three Alaskans prove that if you can walk away from the landing it is a good landing. With photo which might say otherwise
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Lady calls police when her dealer jacks up the price. No, not car dealer
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Not stolen parts / But weed instead / Has sealed your fate / You'll soon be dead .... Burma (oops, Myanmar) Shave
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Canada begins their invasion of US, one moose at a time
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It takes a special kind of chef to whip up goat spinal cord and yak yogurt for 25
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Worst car advice of all time. OF. ALL.TIME
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When the police report describes the color of your buttocks at 3:30am as "illuminated", maybe you need to spend a little more time outdoors in the sun
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Train trips can be comfortable enough to fall asleep on. This is bad news if you are the driver
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So you want to know how the FBI works, huh? Good news, someone just slipped their secret rules to a reporter. "Based on a vague tip, the FBI can surveil anyone." Never mind, don't read, ignore that plane
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these high fliers (and their little dog, too)
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Old and busted: UFIA. New hotness: UPIA
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Your hotel was just hacked for a Bitcoin ransom. What do?
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Man stabbed with scissors after refusing threesome with woman from dog park
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Considered most unpopular of Big 8 Japanese cities, Nagoya asks public to submit catchphrase to lure tourists, highlighting city's status as mecca for sports tourism, cosplay and anime. Winner to get annual passes to Nagoya Castle and Legoland Japan
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Duke's Grayson Allen tries to trip an opposing player again, fourth time this year. Duke Sucks
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Electrical tape-bikinis and sun for perfect tan lines in -- hey, where'd everyone go?
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Hooters to add male servers and ditch revealing outfits with new venture 'Hoots'
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The FDA is cracking down on rogue genetic engineers. Wait, that's a thing?
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Photoshop this dark hallway
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Not News: Nebraska's flag is bad Fark: It flew upside down outside the Capitol building for 10 days and nobody noticed
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Auto repair shop located below freeway off-ramp has customers literally falling out of the sky to get service. Fark: Eight times over the past nine years (Security footage of latest incident included)
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'Ghost ship' found off of Cape Hatteras 96 years ago today remains a mystery, although suspicion currently rests on the six-toed cat
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Intense heat grips Australia as temperatures soar to 45 degrees centigrade. For those of you who don't speak metric, that's 113 degrees Fahrenheit or 98 wallabies per dinkum
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Good Samaritan beats off bus attacker with cane. Well, it's always nice to give someone a hand
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Want to get your stolen car back quicker? Fake an Amber Alert
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Leopold the cat vs. tiny drone in apartment match to the death
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Cheese accused in pizza delivery theft
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Photoshop this door in the wall
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Neighbors at war over manure pile visible on Google Earth. The annual summer block party is going to be awkward this year
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Virginia considering new law that would impose a $250 fine on those recalcitrant a-holes who refuse to yield right of way to faster traffic in the left lane
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"Dear Prudence: I'm half-Latina, my mother full-blooded. My father is white. At Thanksgiving, I was having a discussion with another relative when my dad's aunt called me a Communist and started chanting 'Build that wall.' Should I write her off?"
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"Naked pastor fled married woman's armed husband." Some headlines need no improvement
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A sheriff's deputy decides to use a force machine in a high school robotics class to test the trigger pull on a couple of his handguns. The Dumbass tag gives you a hint on what happened next
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Don't worry, people of Arizona. The 2-mile long fissure opening up in the desert is nothing to worry about
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It's hard to believe with everything going on these days, but 10 years ago today the city of Boston was completely terrorized by Lite-Brites with a cartoon figure giving people the finger. Yes, it was the Great Mooninite Panic of 2007
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Cat eats corn on the cob just like a human and as predicted in the Book of Revelation. Boy, those portents of Armageddon are just flying around this week
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Mosque attacks, airport protests, imminent breakdown of civil society as we know it - you know what, fark today, let's get wasted, strap a GoPro to a sword and slice the shiat out of some watermelons and remind ourselves what makes America awesome
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Old man doesn't shout at clouds when his fishing mate dies of old age; he puts an ad in the newspaper to find a new one and becomes an overnight sensation
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Lutheran Church of Norway embraces same sex marriage. Baptist church of Norway insists that this is the slippery slope to man-lutefisk weddings
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The risk of a cardiac event jumps 23% two days after major snowstorms ... (so do your shoveling 1 day after the storm)
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"Joggers are being attacked by a mystery yob who throws vegetables at them while they are running. Runners report being pelted with potatoes, eggs, turnips and even avocades in the drive-by attacks"
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The person responsible for sacking the people ordering immigrants to be detained has been sacked
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Fark NotNewsletter: When life hands you lemons...
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Mormons plan to build huge city in Florida. In the far distant future it will war with the Clearwater Scientologists and they will merge and Florida will become the Church of the L. Joe Hubbard Smith's Mormontoloscientifics & Scientomormonologists
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Photoshop this smart cetacean
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Head of the Knights of Malta discovers that withstanding the might of the entire grand army of the Ottoman Empire is one thing. Standing up to a PO'ed Pope Francis is another matter entirely
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At 8PM ET Paul's Memory Bank presents my 100th show "Request Night". Any TFers who put in a request in Sunday's thread will have their request granted. Still room for a couple more. DIT. LIT
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Let's see how things are going in Detroit these days
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Illinois men's daring plan to speed away from pursuing Des Moines cops foiled by running out of fuel 40 miles away near Pleasantville. Mugshots nevertheless in full color
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PSA: You might want to proof-read that email you're sending to your son's school telling them you're "letting him off" for the day because autocorrect might change to "jerking him off"
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Family members searching for the body of a murdered 21-year-old woman dig up a site suspected to be her grave and find a man's body. This is not a repeat from last week, when they dug up another site suspected to be her grave and found another man
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Photoshop this lady and her tarn
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Things not to donate to a food bank or charity: mouldy dates; soiled underwear; 20-year-old syrup; beer keg; five samurai swords "and even a knuckleduster"
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George HW Bush released from hospital immediately after losing Obamacare coverage
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Scientists identify 540 million year old creature with huge mouth and no anus, hypothesize that it could be our earliest ancestor, or our 45th president
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Since "The Last Jedi" takes place immediately following the end of "The Force Awakens," what the hell is the opening crawl going to say?
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Aging Gen-Xer's keeping it real with drunken wheelchair skitching
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If you get up in the morning and you see a tiny ring set up in your back yard, that can only mean one thing: there's gonna be a squirrel fight (awesome pics)
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*beeeyerrrrooooooo wak wak*
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Photoshop this orange drink
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Tornado that kills four, rips through chapel and leaves Bible unscathed and open to appropriate bible lesson. What would be more impressive if the Bible had managed to prevent those four people from dying
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Man sneaks into zoo to avoid paying entrance fee. His egress happened to be the tiger enclosure, and now someone will have to pay for his funeral
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California's weed economy is valued at $7 BILLION. Whoa dude
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When garden parties go bad. Six German teens died from possible carbon monoxide poisoning while partying in a garden shed
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McDonald's Big Mac Sauce bottles listed at up to $50K on eBay
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Seven bricks of cocaine found in nose of American Airlines plane at TIA
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Former stable girl who became a lottery winner's mistress and ruined his marriage decided the perfect time to abscond with 30 horses valued at around $500,000, a sports car, and cash was when he was visiting his ex-wife and kids
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Culinary arts colleges shutting down because anyone can watch the tube and figure out how to cook nowadays
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