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Sun January 29, 2017
(Narrative.ly)
 
 
 
It's 10pm: Do you know where your husband's sperm is?
source: narrative.ly   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Wellington boot snobbery still big in England. "The only thing that's more embarrassing than wearing the wrong wellington boots is wearing clean ones"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Shots fired at Quebec City mosque. Pas encore cette merde
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Some taxi drivers are refusing to go to JFK airport due to Trump's Muslim ban, so Uber drivers are going there instead, so some people are deleting Uber. This is Very Bad for some reason and is A Harbinger Of Doom. DOOM, I say
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Inmates are now posting TripAdvisor-style reviews of prisons
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's about to get licked
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Subby was featured in a report about the resurgence in psychedelic drugs used in the treatment of PTSD and depression. Story on the left and rave on the right
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homeland Security)
 
 
 
The Department of Homeland Security orders those with Green Cards be allowed to enter the U.S.
source: dhs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Competitors fail to break world haggis hurling record, won't be forced to accept a year's supply of haggis as reward
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TechnoBuffalo)
 
 
 
Ever wish you were a kid again? You will now
source: technobuffalo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge - Assemble something from these parts
source: alexnld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
And a question that has stalked man through the generations: How many slices of cheese go into a properly made grilled cheese sandwich?
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Hospital saves man's life from overdose. Grateful man pays hospital back by stealing their ambulance, crashing it, then going to Applebee's and carjacking a car. Hey, I didn't say he ate there. He has some dignity, after all
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What to do if you're a NYC principal and your school is being visited for its annual review? Simple - Just hide the disruptive students in a trailer
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Nut)
 
 
 
Photoshop these fresh cashews
source: nana1garcia.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: You can't explain that
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rich kids are just as disadvantaged as poor kids. It's just so hard trying to decide which luxury car to take to school and what resort to summer at. Poor kids never have to worry about all that. They are so lucky
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
That's just wrong. Period
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Drinking and dialing is not a crime, but this is pretty close
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Botox is booming among millennials - some as young as 18 thanks to the 'selfie generation'
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you've always wondered who turned the word 'snowflake' into a derogatory term, you can thank the author of "Fight Club"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVOA Tucson)
 
 
 
Are Americans now so freaked out that they will panic over nothing at all? We take you to a movie theater in Tucson, Arizona to find out
source: kvoa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Trump leaker found dead. Nothing to see here, comrade
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKST/10 pm PST), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 28, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The horrifying moment a truck slams into the side of a bus is caught on video. Fark: No one was seriously injured
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Emergency stay issued over Trump's Muslim Ban
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Berkeley couple killed by their 3-D printer when it leaked carbon monoxide. In other news, 3-D printers produce carbon monoxide that will kill you if it leaks out
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soccer ladies and their flag
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Distraught daughter determined dentist dad did defenestration
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Spanish police officers are refusing to patrol the island of Ibiza, claiming they are not paid enough to deal with the hordes of rowdy, sex-mad British tourists"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this donut man
source: image.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
If you're golfing in Wales, be aware of impatient cows who want to play through
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Another thing from the Obama era that we can now wave a sad farewell to: cheap gas
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"Chocolate is in danger from sinister-sounding fungi like black pod rot, witches' broom, and frosty pod rot." EVERYBODY PANIC
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
18-year-old undergoes the full wedding treatment of hair, make-up, gown to get married...to a pizza. Probably a Chicago pizza, as we all know New York pizza lacks commitment
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
On this date in 1986, seven astronauts left and "as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and 'slipped the surly bonds of earth' to 'touch the face of God.'
source: timesmachine.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Finland plans to become tobacco-free by 2040, as they put the "cold" in cold turkey
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girl Scout wins fans with her honest sales pitch. Calls the cookies "bland, unoriginal, and bleak." Claims they aren't even made from real Girl Scouts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Do you often smuggle snacks into the movie theater? Just don't do it in NYC
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Once again politicians find a way to take money meant for the poor and divert it into their own pockets
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Middletown man's electronic heart monitor leads to his arrest
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
We're getting back to basics this week in the Saturday Morning Book Club: what's that one book you recommend to everyone who reads?
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
On this day in 1992, nothing happened
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Camping Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camper
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Robocaller: "Can you hear me?" You: (click)
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Got a small crack in your driver's license? That'll be $465, citizen
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Philadelphia basketball fans are now tweeting pictures to #RaiseTheCat of themselves holding their cats over their heads whenever the '76ers win. Please don't make kitty dizzy on Caturday
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Although it's a cool band name, Dessert Without Bees is actually pretty depressing
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Stunned Pittsburgh museum workers find a REAL human skull inside the 148 year old plaster head of a diorama figure
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Assisted dying in Europe running into technical problems, like what to do when the elderly woman whose turn it is keeps screaming that she doesn't want to die and has to be pinned down by several people so she can be forced to have a dignified death
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Totally cool: Escape room puzzles. Totally not cool: Concentration camp themed escape room puzzles
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A guide to untranslatable feelings: 19 emotions you never knew you had. Come for natsukashii, stay for sehnsucht
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Hunter checks ice thickness with butt of rifle, and since this is Fark you know what happens next. Bonus: hunter's name is Hunter
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Forget skimming, now shimming is the newest way to steal your credit card info. It's just like skimming, except the thieves have changed one letter. That letter was a 'k', and now it's been changed to an 'h'. Please make a note of it
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts driver fights 40mph speeding ticket, claims police radar must have picked up a deer instead
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 27, 2017
(Fark)
 
 
 
Have you always wanted to play guitar, but aren't sure if you can stick with it? Two words, friend: "Support", "Group". For the second week in a row, it's your Friday night guitar-players thread... If you're into that sort of thing... I guess
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Due to two stormy weeks, San Diego CA is no longer in a drought
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Restaurants in France will now be prosecuted if they offer free refills of soft drinks. Wine still okay
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Need a break from fake news? Enjoy a few minutes reviewing the career of an old school reporter who was the real deal
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Road to North Korean ski resort kept open by an army of children with homemade shovels. Trump seen furiously taking notes
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Woman who accused Emmett Till admits she made it up and felt 'tender sorrow' for his mother. So we're all good right?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Despite reports of multiple deaths, a Scientologist-run drug rehab facility continues to operate due to loopholes in Oklahoma
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these airborne sledding dudes
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia GOP lawmaker shot in the leg, outside of a XXX theater/video store; the thief got his iPhone, but left the bag of cash charity contributions he was toting around, while he was stopped to get gas from the liquor store. For reals, he promises
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
When trying to place blame for the cause of a train accident that killed two people, everybody being high at the time can make the task a wee bit more difficult
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Driving while drunk can be very dangerous. For one thing, the county deputy who pulls you over might rob you
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space Daily)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia's next-generation F-15 warplane looks like an F-18
source: spacedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In a way, all of us have an El Chapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Chapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Chapo. For us, El Chapo is a short, dangerous man who wants to break out of federal prison
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this '60s-era coffee machine
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You can try to break into a house with finesse and skill, or you can go find the nearest tractor
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Sweden: Great at making plastic flat-pack furniture. Less good at spotting UFOs
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Moo... MOO... MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... moo. *lights cigarette*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Man accused of dressing as woman to rob Bank of America
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
It's best not to ask your Facebook friends if they would like to participate in a mass shooting spree with you
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Plano, Texas is getting so busy that they had to add a second light downtown and a second checkout line at the Piggly-Wiggly. Also, Barney has to keep more than one bullet in his shirt pocket
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Russian Parliament votes 383-3 to give men one freebie a year when it comes to beating their wives so long as they don't inflict SUBSTANTIAL bodily harm
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Man arrested after stolen sex toy falls from his jacket in front of a policeman. No word on whether the officer was careful to always use the indefinite article "a dildo" when writing his report
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Why did a half-naked Kiwi ride a luge down a motorway? Because he was bored and his friends offered him beer of course
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Man stabs cop at casino after wife urinates on herself at craps table. The Aristocrats
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Bill allowing 151-proof liquor causes buzz among Virginia college students, future Fark admins
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas still working on Tebow bill which allows homeschooled kids to play for their local actual-school football team
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Alternative facts
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Student forced to pee in bucket awarded $1.25M, White House job
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man tries to Make Delta Great Again
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Rush hour traffic stopped by motorists staring at a set of headlights
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Woman who owns a yarn shop bans those vile women's march protesters because... um... well, it's her pink yarn and she has a say in what it's going to be used to knit, dammit
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Giant Meteor demands a recount
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
White pastor and his adopted black son denied entry into "XXX: Return of Xander Cage," and not just because no one should be subjecting their children to a Vin Diesel movie
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
National zoo and Virginia aquarium get into an ugly-ass, ugly-ass off
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not only is your wood stove killing everyone else, no one knows how much smog-causing particulate it's belching out: "As with diesel engines, the level of pollution measured in a controlled test does not reflect what spews out of them in practice"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 26, 2017
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
When using a web service to fax a fake letter to the jail to get your friend released, do not use your real email address and phone number
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Ukraine unveils super powerful, terribly rattling and too heavy combat drone
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri man finds out it's not a chase them down and stand your ground law
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A call goes out to the Fark community: There's a chronic shortage of hunky male strippers
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Well, there's lowlife, and then there's stealing the van of a family about to take their kid to Disneyland with all of the equipment and oxygen tanks in it
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Florida man, when asked why he had crack cocaine in his car, says: "Because I smoke it. Don't I look like it?"
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man who saw someone drowning and did not lend a hand sentenced to five-and-a-half years in prison, lifetime of having Phil Collins sung at him
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
"The experience should feel like you are in the woods," Anzelone said. "I want people to walk through it and forget, for maybe 30 seconds, that they're in the middle of Manhattan"
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Strangely enough, alcohol wasn't involved, but drugs have not been ruled out for naked cyclist
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
If you steal $120,000 Porsches, consider not bragging about it on a glowing rectangle available to law enforcement officials
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Woman steals truck, drives it to Arkansas sheriff's office to see if it was reported stolen, then it gets weird
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Fries, extra crispy. I said, fries, extra crispy. WEED, I want some weed, just put the weed in with the fries and give it to me. What kind of Burger King are you, anyway?
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monroe News)
 
 
 
After serving time for molesting his patients, surgeon opts to: c) sue his victim for defaming his character
source: monroenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's a farking tree stump)
 
 
 
Photoshop this $300 side table from Pottery Barn
source: rk.pbimgs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
The State of Michigan was admitted into the Union 180 years ago today. Or as it's known in Ohio, second only to August 26, 1817 as the worst day in the history of the United States
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Do kids in high school even use lockers anymore? At least one does, as this guy turned his locker into an Arduino-based vending machine that can sell soda to his fellow students
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Coach MaBone in trouble after incident with students. With a name like that it's gotta be a sex thing, right?
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As a shock to no one except those involved, hipsters in San Francisco are playing Russian roulette with tasers at local bars
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
UK PM May to give President Trump an ancient Scottish drinking vessel, either as a show of friendship or a subtle suggestion that his ideas are what you'd expect from an old drunken Scotsman lying in a bog
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Pakistani game-show host turned religious presenter is banned for inciting violence after accusing activists of insulting Islam, because apparently that's how they roll on The Wheel of Blasphemy and The Price Is Jihad
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Year of the Cock starts Saturday, January 28, not January 20th as previously thought
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Now they're arresting sandwiches in Florida
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
The women's march was so effective that there was a world wide drop of women reaching climax of 22%
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Navy ships will install killer lasers next Tuesday
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Apparently carjackers are getting ideas from Fark's Halloween thread
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Trump considers 20% tax on imports from Mexico to pay for the Wall because what do you mean NAFTA would prevent this
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
Doomsday clock advances. Iron Maiden seen warming up
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pampered pooch
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
When considering that 8 people control most the worlds wealth, we should not lose sight of all this cake we can eat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alternative Fact: Man loses his man parts while showing off his 'scuba bong'
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Psychology Today)
 
 
 
Some magnificent bastard has bought the domain name "Alternativefacts.com" and redirected it to the most perfect place of all
source: psychologytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
13 questions to ask before you get married. Question #14 should be, "Only 13?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Marilyn Monroe postage stamps accidentally use picture of drag impersonator
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Human-pig hybrid embryo created. Human-bear-pig embryo soon to follow
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
British navy tracks Russian carrier as it returns home wearing the same clothes it had on when it left
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Fantasy: calling a sex line named Babestation. Reality: getting a cranky old Irish woman who isn't happy you woke her up
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Germany approves controversial 'Foreigner' toll on Autobahn, despite objections from neighboring countries who call it a Cheap Trick
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
98% of all adoptions in Japan are adult men being adopted by their bosses
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Woman drops keys while fighting off phone thief. Bystanders promptly: A) call police. B) wrestle with thieves. C) steal her car
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Need to know if you've had too much to drink during the Super Bowl and shouldn't drive? Just breathe on the Tostitos bag
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Finally a good reason to visit Indianapolis
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Another of the (many) problems with legal weed: Cops have a really hard time knowing when you're too stoned to drive
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Heinz gives employees Monday after the Super Bowl off, calls for America to do the same
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high jumper
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Somebody out there figured out that if you inject pregnant horses with a hormone then extract their blood and use it on pigs, you can increase pork production. What the fark was going on in that lab?
source: tuesdayshorse.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Sex?
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
When the zombie apocalypse happens and civilization begins breaking down, the safest place to be is either a converted missile silo or New Zealand
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mexican President says (sic) "We're not paying for that farking wall." This is not a repeat but it will be
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Dan Rather announces a new news group to counter fake news and alternative facts Called "News and Guts" Real journalism, deep-digging reporting without fear or favor, is as important now, if not more so, than any time I can remember
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently, early to bed and early to rise will make you sick, poor, and covered with flies. So stay up late and have a good night because going to bed early can go fly a kite
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
"Happy 20th wedding anniversary, honey. Here's a kidney"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Thief problem: more and more people are installing $200 doorbell camera systems. Thief solution: steal the doorbell
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Re/code)
 
 
 
Google has banned 199 publishers and probably only one false positive since it passed a new policy against not-news
source: recode.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
The ever-darkening shadow of Monsanto-fueled superweeds - and the only thing that fights it is a World War II-era herbicide banned in Sweden, Denmark and Norway after it was linked to cancer. Thanks Monsanto
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Best excuse ever for being naked at a car wash - or worst?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And in court news, the most senior British officer to face court-martial in more than 50 years is accused of financial impropriety. And the previous record-holder? Buggery
source: forces.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
It's only a matter of time before people start prospecting for cocaine in the water treatment plants
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 612: "Yellow 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 25, 2017
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
For the love of all humanity is there anyone who can help this old widower who's been sweeping the freezing streets of Inner Mongolia at -38°C to pay off his late wife's massive medical bills?
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oh Gizmo)
 
 
 
For $1000 you can now buy a kitchen appliance that turns food scraps into fertilizer in just 24 hours or for much less you can just get a rescue dog that will do the same thing
source: ohgizmo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Scientists conclude the secret to happiness is stripping off and getting naked - your happiness, that is, not the happiness of the other people on the bus (Not safe for work images in article)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Attention seafood fans: Don't look now, but you're ingesting up to 11,000 tiny pieces of plastic a year
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
2017 Australian Of The Year named, and it finally went to someone sober who didn't recently get into a fistfight with a saltie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
'Zion Curtains' to fall, but booze costs will go up in latest round of Utah's crazy liquor laws
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Kim Young Suk accused of running a brothel at a spa. Kim Young Suk
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
BBQ pork is so big in Singapore that people pay migrant workers $3.50 (US)/hour to stand in line to buy 100 pounds of it
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Elites are turning their backs on Kim Jong Un which is usually when Kim Jong Un has them arrested and shot
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Man, enraged over missing chicken nugget order, jumps over McDonald's counter, repeatedly fires guns at employees, customers in crazed rampage. But, since he's Kiwi, he used Nerf guns with foam bullets. "It was a silly thing he did"
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this factory furnace
source: c.o0bg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When traveling, some people accidentally make a wrong turn. Others accidentally take the wrong bus or train. Then there's this guy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Apparently any method of self-publishing on the internet is a 'terrorist tool' (with the possible exception of pen and paper - but watch yourself)
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
I'll see your "Cop hit with wet tampon" and raise to "Man disfigured in fight over Minute Maid"
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If there's a term for 'fear of scarecrows', this guy in Glasgow definitely has it. Except more 'lacks empathy for and goes into a dissassociative state and commits atrocities against scarecrows' more than a true phobia, really
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Caller: "I just killed somebody. They're in there breathing their last breath." 911: "Who did you kill?" Caller: "I'm not going to tell you"
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
He once wrote an entire novel using only words that rhyme with 'orange.' He writes haiku . . . in iambic pentameter. He is the most interesting writer on Fark, and THIS is your Fark Writers' thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The Baby Box provides many items new parents need, however it should not be used to ship an infant across the country despite its appearance
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Driver uses the old 'wind was pushing me' as the excuse for speeding. What was he driving, a sailboat with wheels?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Is that a Fender Stratocaster in your pants or are you just glad to see me?
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"William, you have the weed right?" "No, Luis I though you had the weed. Well then you must have the weed, right Susana?" "No, I thought one of you guys had the weed"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Prince executed in Kuwait. Proving he had to get far away from Paisley Park to make his overdose death seem legit
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman's reaction to a protest
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Finger Lakes Daily News)
 
 
 
Not News: Delivery truck overturns, spilling its contents on the road. Fark: 100 puppies
source: fingerlakesdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Protesters who climb construction crane surprised to find out they won't be getting paid time-and-a-half
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Somewhere in San Diego, there is a guy who is getting paid to smoke marijuana and drive in a simulator for science
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Pub owner named Pat Mustard, caught masturbating at barmaid, claims patron beat him up with baseball bat. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Father Ted
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
NewsFlash
 
God has decided that he needed someone who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Driver leads cops on high-speed chase. Weird: He was trying to buy soda. Fark: He's 10
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Buffalo, NY 1894: "Far out, man"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Queens sanitation worker posed as his dead twin to reap nearly $600,000 in welfare benefits for 19 years
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Mysterious booms heard in San Diego; Natrone Means unavailable for comment
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Elderly woman flies through tornado in a bathtub, lands in nearby woods. Add some wings and a few more struts, and she might have made it into space
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida lags behind in mental health funding. Obvious tag so outraged it ragequit Fark and went to Pets.com to work for their sock puppet
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
I knew Detroit was attracting some hipsters, but there must be more than I thought if they're planning an indoor velodrome
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Parkersburg News and Sentinel)
 
 
 
Bus taking protestors to D.C. has mechanical problems, driver kindly leaves her Facebook open to the public displaying her intentions to fake mechanical problems
source: content.newsandsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
There are good times to be naked, and then there's "while riding a bike in sub-zero temperatures and being chased by the police"
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Female First)
 
 
 
These are the hobbies that make you attractive to the opposite sex. Executive summary: go outside, talk to some people you find there
source: relationships.femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Investigators seek tips after discovering wolf poaching. Well, for one, put a capful of vinegar in the hot water, and don't overcook
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Students in caffeine study accidentally given doses equivalent to 300 cups of coffee instead of three, singlehandedly double what scientists now consider the lethal dose of caffeine and they haven't slept since
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Everybody back to the suburbs; we have reached peak millennial
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The disturbing, secret details of the final battle of Vietnam have finally come to light
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
If you left your pet Tarantula at a hotel in Puyallup on Jan. 17 Metro Animal Services would like to have a word with you
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Speeding commuter train slams into FedEx semi-trailer, slicing it in two, at rail crossing in North Salt Lake, Utah. Is there video? You bet there is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Unable to accept the reality that he lost the popular vote by 3 million votes, Trump calls for a "major investigation" of massive voter fraud. In related news, the president orders the FBI to investigate the boogey monster that lives under his bed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Dog saves dog ... or maybe he just wanted the stick. Good boy either way
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Featherless rescue bird is happy and playful, despite sort of looking like a freshly shorn scrotum
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman charged with aggravated battery for pelting police officer with a 'deadly weapon' - her wet and used tampon. Officials are investigating a possible string of crimes
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Wait, the trench run in Star Wars wasn't along the Death Star's equator?
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Owner of floating strip club fined $10,000 for dumping human waste off the side of the barge that held his business. Hmm, strip club human waste. No thanks, you can do the testing on that, Bob
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If a man is struck by a car and he doesn't remember it, does it make a sound?
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man blows shiat up to announce the gender of his baby. Surely he will be a responsible parent in the future
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Otters of unusual size? I don't think they exist
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you drive an Audi and think you can park on someone else's driveway and take up 2 parking spots, you may one day understand the concept of karma and that it drives a Skoda
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump is bringing back the good old days when a restaurant owner can kick somebody out of his establishment simply for being black
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
California regulators, "Well, let's not start sucking each other's aqueducts quite yet"
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Your son has committed suicide, so what is more traumatic than getting an automated call from his school informing you he has been absent? A second automated call on the day of his viewing
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
President Trump says that if Chicago doesn't get its shiat together, he is going to "send in the feds." Or release the dogs. Or the bees. Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they open their mouths, they shoot bees at you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Hi, I'd like the Orange Chicken, Genghis Khan Beef, White Rice, and the $30.95 "Seen Rat" discount
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
High school principal, vice principal on administrative leave after their plans to make their campus great again get leaked out
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pets are being treated more like children in divorce cases; your dog wants steak and joint custody
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby hippo born at the Cincinnati Zoo
source: 700wlw.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
At long last, Flint might be finally getting the lead out
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 24, 2017
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Knockoff bongs may be delivering nothing but fake news to your lungs
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
California high school bans critically-acclaimed 1940s play No Exit because it features a lesbian character. Hell is other people
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Toyota announces a recall of Tundra trucks. The rear step may break if anyone ever actually uses their truck for something other than driving around and hogging up lanes but if you need to move they are all "Oh no, sorry I'm out of town that day"
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Weirdo: "I'm best friends with my husband's ex - just don't call me weird"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
"You know, I enjoy a beer now and then, but it just doesn't taste enough like ice cream to suit me"
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If you live in Columbus, IN and are missing 5.5 lbs of pot, the police would like to let you know it was delivered to the wrong address and you can come claim it as long as you have a valid ID
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cal Coast News)
 
 
 
Person arrested for impersonating a police officer; personal pronouns to be determined
source: calcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
"Trucks falling through the ice" season came early in MN this year
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Comparing CMIP5 and observations. Or, for you laypeople, this is the spaghetti which will kill us all
source: climate-lab-book.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Domino's delivery driver trainer botches the 'Hail of Bullets Evasion' demonstration
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Coyote found on Dat Dog balcony
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop J-Lo on a rainy day
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The reason you look so old is because you sit so much
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WalletHub)
 
 
 
WalletHub has ranked all the states, best to worst, for retirement. Don't care, still not moving there
source: wallethub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after injuring herself doing sword tricks and you better hope to God that is a euphemism after seeing her mugshot
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
PSA: If you're 6'7" don't get caught driving a Ford Ka
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Actress Melissa Benoist answers that Supergirl question we've always been afraid to ask
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals: you can have either 2nd amendment rights or 4th amendment rights. Pick one
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle names Mama's Cantina building a city landmark, protecting it from being torn down for condos and preserving some historical evidence of Mexican food ever having existed in Seattle
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Talk about a bad day at work. Man shows up drunk to work, gets sent home and then gets a DUI in the parking lot
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man with mop on head seeks egg. Yep, just another Tuesday in Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive fox
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Pot shop fire sends smoke billowing through Lake City. Help. Fire, help
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
IKEA recalls wooden chairs due to customer reports of sustained injuries. Help me, I'm sø very scared
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Bardstown man accused of assaulting woman with frozen sausage
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
An Oral History of Homestar Runner
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Teen declares how "murder gives me a high like no other" will find out what sort of high years in prison gives her
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Dubai has firefighters with water jetpacks
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
The most Florida-themed headline you'll hear all day: "Famed snake trackers from India latest weapon in Florida war on pythons"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
I'm not saying scientists are playing God by creating new DNA to make an "alien" life form, but they are playing God by creating new DNA to make an "alien" life form
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
El Chapo's Manhattan jail cell is more deplorable than the average cell at Guantanamo
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Assessing the strength of Little Kim's army
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Psychologists say they can inoculate people against fake news by presenting the facts with minor lies attached, together with a couple minutes of oral sex
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this running man
source: runningmagazine.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Man eaten by crocodile in the East Alligator River. Conflicting reports say his last words were either "See you later" or "After awhile"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Some crafty reporter got a look at what's under Trump's mattress and you're not gonna believe your eyes, or it'll be exactly as you pictured it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is still claiming that he lost the popular vote due to fraud--this time at a meeting with Congressional leaders
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You're kind of a dick if you're the lone lawmaker arguing that active members of the military should not receive a discount on products at legal recreational marijuana shops
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
For the first time ever, transgender children will be allowed to join Rainbows, Brownies and Girl Guides breaking 107 years of tradition
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The best thing about Adidas' new shoes is that they dissolve in the sink when you're done with them
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Sure your job sucks, but it probably doesn't suck as much as being a full time Uber driver
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
All in all it's just another dick in the wall. (Warning: Sexual content)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Toronto Police: If your illegal weed shop is robbed, you should totally report it to us for your own protection. No, seriously. What? Why are you laughing?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's getting to the point where a cop can't spank a kid even with grandma's permission
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 23, 2017
(Metro)
 
 
 
Swallowing a live goldfish and posting it to Facebook? Yeah, that's jail time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Today is the 40th anniversary of National Handwriting Day. I made a personal note of this in my day planner, but unfortunately I can't read what it says
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Working as a lawyer in exchange for marijuana can get your license suspended. Working as a lawyer for money, then using money to buy weed, no problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
'I get nervous flying, that's my companionship grenade'
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
When walking down the street with a popcorn maker box full of drugs and two police officers wish you a Happy National Popcorn Day should you A) say "Happy National Popcorn Day to you too Officers" B) Thank them and go about your day or C) Run away
source: guelph.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study finds sex toys are safer than children's toys, less likely to require awkward answers in the emergency room
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
What's the only thing that can make a monster truck show better? A sailor coming home from deployment early and surprising his kids
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The week that spawned a thousand memes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man stabbed in tailor shop but is luckily stitched up quickly with a special cross-stitch, an embroidered design, and a little piping
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Florida Booty trifecta on play as artist puts wax butts around Miami to expose everyday sexual harassment in public places (Pics of wax butts on link so probably Not safe for work)
source: thecreatorsproject.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful pencil points
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some papers are more widely distributed than others
source: pulsegulfcoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Just in time for our brave new world, here are eight vulgar Spanish phrases (Not safe for work-ish)
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You would think that the world's largest concrete war ship would have sunk by now. You probably didn't picture it sitting surrounded by gardens, either. Look quick, it's almost gone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
You're arguing with your 12-year-old son over the shoes he wants to wear to school. Do you: A) Stick to your guns B) Let him wear the shoes he wants. C) Abandoned him on the side of the highway. "What am I supposed to do? Be late for work?"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The most Southern headline you'll read today: Celebrate your love with candlelit Valentine's Day dinner at Waffle House
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Russia claims that its aircraft have just flown in the first joint U.S.-Russian combat mission of the Syrian War. Which is interesting, since the American side is flatly denying it
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's in the beaker
source: im8.kommersant.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lists of things that can give you cancer now includes crispy roast potatoes and browned toast
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Bank robberies, which have declined 60% in 25 years, are taking a hell of a lot longer than they used to
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Two gored to death in Indian bull-taming festival. Bull may not be tame yet
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Mad Dog Mattis makes an explosive entrance in Washington by overseeing 31 strikes on ISIS in Iraq and Syria
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
British leader refuses to comment on the Royal Navy's recent missile launch failure, and whether or not they were actually attempting to nuke Florida
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japanese airplane will be stuck on the tarmac for another two years, narrowly missing the record set by American Airlines
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hong Kong's top politician leaves government to live as a civilian, drives back to her former residence in the middle of the night because her new place didn't come with toilet paper and she didn't know where to get more
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
If you really want to make someone happy today you can pay it forward, give someone an alarm clock, or start a flash mob at a hospital
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Wars)
 
 
 
Title of Star Wars Episode VIII revealed. But which is it, the master, or the apprentice?
source: starwars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's an elephant fighting a tortoise. And who wins might just surprise yo ... nope, no surprises there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently according to science, you're probably showering far, far too much and need to have more pong
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
And the moral of the story is: Never believe a fortune teller, especially when she tells you to become a prostitute
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It has been zero days since the last kangaroo attack. It is always zero days since the last kangaroo attack
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Lawmaker bills Alaska $20,000 to ship a washer and a dryer, a piano, four air compressors, building supplies, enlarger parts, a band saw, a basketball backboard, lawn chairs, four weight benches, three fans and three vacuums to his rural home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Muff Diving Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low muff
source: wardrobelooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cops shoot dead homeowner while investigating a break-in, presumably to make sure the corpse didn't come back as a zombie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently the people of Australia killed off a load of ancient prehistoric species, such as lions and giant kangaroos. Must have been some barbecue
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Maybe it's time to quit smoking when the billboards start coughing at you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Women's March was very successful. So, now what?
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Shoot and kill your coworker during a robbery? That's fine, since the place was being robbed, we will just pin the murder charge on the robber
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
And CNN's balls grew three sizes that day
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
For two and a half hours, United stopped breaking guitars
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
New bill in Nebraska would let teachers use physical force on "violent, unruly" students
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Insight)
 
 
 
New Radio Station "El Booty" launches, calling themselves "The Official Station For Latina Strippers Of Tampa Bay"
source: radioinsight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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