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| Sun January 22, 2017 |
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Yakkity-Sax kept running through my head while watching the clean up
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Someone finally launched the perfect Kickstarter for Caturday fans. Do want
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After 22 years, Gambia's dictator loses election. What to do? Simple ... just empty the state coffers and ship out all luxury vehicles by plane before leaving the country
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Drunkest skiier in the world found in French Alps, because when you're really wasted, strapping boards to your feet is a good idea
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I've never watched the Harry Potter movies. Are they worth it? I'm 52 y/o and have a lot of free time this week and am not able to go out and actually do much. Yes/no?
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Sniper kills three ISIS members with one bullet that ricocheted. Yosemite Sam unavailable for comment
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As if Iraqi Kurds don't have enough problems, now they have hipsters to deal with
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Armed bystanders get 1 person killed, 5 others shot during robbery
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What will improve my already delicious hoagies? How about deep-frying the whole thing and calling it a Zoagie?
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Kentucky Amish file suit against the state over horse diaper law
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Tricks to make a bad wine better. Bonus: Article does not use the phrase "life hack"
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Photoshop this abandoned bridge...or BEST DIVING BOARD EVER
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DISASTER STRIKES: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company announces massive beer recall
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If you work the night shift you should let your family know you're coming home early
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12 Monkeys plot crossing over our time stream. Apocalypse
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Sex doll takes break from hectic schedule to scare off burglars
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Photoshop these colorful train passengers
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After mosque is destroyed by arsonist, neighboring LDS church invites them to use their church. "It's just neighbors helping neighbors. Jesus said, 'Love your neighbor.' They're right next door. How can it be more obvious than that?"
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Al Gore's carbon footprint is shaped like a butt
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Emergency declared after tornado kills 4 in Hattiesburg, Mississippi; Storms leave damage in Alabama, Georgia. Area child asks; "Is God mad at us?"
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It's not just the Trump hats that aren't made in America, Trumps only recognizable musician played "Made in America" on a Japanese made guitar
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Just your average day in Oklahoma where the crazy lady strips down naked and holds the door-to-door saleslady hostage
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Most of the 230 rioters arrested in Washington D.C. following Donald Trump's inauguration will be charged with felony rioting, which carries a punishment of up to 10 years in jail and $25k fine
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NOAA's Storm Prediction Center issues a rare "High Risk" area for the SE United States with "Significant tornado outbreak expected today across north Florida and south Georgia." Stay safe today, farkers
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Ann Coulter says women's marchers are like Nazis, which is a remarkable display of projection for a being that can't see itself in a mirror
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After having many of their courses called bullshiat, the University of Washington makes it official
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Your pet rat is trying to kill you
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The RCMP bust a major British Columbia grow-op, decide to hot box the entire region
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Here is a comprehensive list of how Trump has offended Asia. Yes . . . all of Asia
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Potermelon
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Trump survives first assassination attempt as United Kingdom tries to nuke Mar-a-Lago
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Baltimore school dental program pulls three teeth from 9-year-old without parental consent. School farkup-response officer declines comment citing "hey, wouldja look at the time" regulations
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Remember Charlie, the inaugural parade announcer who got dumped? Guess where he spent his day
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Pharma bro jacks up a pill 5,000%? Pfft, amateur. Let's raise the price on our pill for infant epilepsy by 85,000%
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| (Some Guy) |
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Guy starts a Change.org petition saying Cracker Barrel's name is racist and should be changed to "Caucasian Barrel," thinking no one could possibly take it seriously. If you can guess what happened next, your Fark Fu is strong
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Photoshop these picky eaters
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CSB Sunday Morning: Favorite childhood toys
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Make the autoplay videos stop before my marriage is ruined. Tag is for videos that play in the night
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If any of you were planning to use Gwyneth Paltrow's jade vagina eggs, don't. Also, what the hell were you thinking?
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Not news: Cops taser black suspect. Fark: Suspect (wrong guy) works for police department on improving relations with black community
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This Gigapixel photo of the inauguration is the biggest, hugest photo, and by the way, it's a very attractive photo, let me tell you folks, the best photo that has ever been taken of an inauguration, here in America, which is also the best. Proud
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From evidence presented in past threads, this man suffers from same problem as 30% of Farkers (not safe for work0
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"If we can't burn oil, it's not worth very much." A take on the coming pop of the Carbon Bubble
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"If you recently purchased meth that you feel may be rock salt, please feel free to bring it to the Sparta Police Department for testing. Tests can also be conducted on any meth pipes, needles, or other paraphernalia. Don't delay, come and see us"
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San Francisco has a big dilemma, and that is where have all the children gone?
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Magnitude 7.9 quake strikes off Papua New Guinea, experts fear tens of dollars in damage caused
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours of diverse music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
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| Sat January 21, 2017 |
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Police: Sure, he shot an unarmed protestor in a University Campus crowd, but maybe he had a good reason for doing it
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| (The Interners) |
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Photoshop this Mario
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Minnie Mouse impersonators accused of making tourists look goofy in Spain
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Watch this Canadian driver avoid four moose like a Boss
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Vegemite is Australian again. In other news, another country at some point desired Vegemite for some damn reason
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Mailman builds porch ramp for sweet old dog
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Family buys a lion cub for their children to play with and then are shocked, SHOCKED to discover it scratches, bites and pees
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The highway Skittles incident in Wisconsin gets weirder
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First ever alien abduction confirmed in Baltimore
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Being stabbed once is bad enough, but being stabbed 25 times and not dying makes you almost immortal
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Mumps surge a wake-up call to anti-vaxxers
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"I had a parking space all cleared out and ready for my wife's car... until dickless here took it"
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Photoshop this promenading flamingo
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Do you like to seek out spoilers for movies, books, tv shows, video games, comics, etc or do you prefer to go in knowing absolutely nothing other than what's in the trailer or description?
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| (Some Guy) |
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News: Family caught in charming video celebrating Christmas together Not news: on a Yellowstone Park security camera Fark: Sasquatches?
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ACA will be allowed to wither and die much like the Americans that need it
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It's too early in Trump's administration to talk about gun control
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Forget Trump and his inauguration. Someone has stolen wild cabbages from a nature reserve. That's right folks, the REAL news always happens in Kent
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Don't give up, but maybe do learn to speak Russian
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Leave it to Sweden to finally solve the most annoying thing about fruits and vegetables - the sticky labels on produce
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Huge crack in Antarctic ice shelf grows by 6 more miles. Charlie Sheen reportedly on his way to help
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Hey, that drone you got for Christmas can be used to drop grenades on your enemies. At least, that's what ISIS does with their drones
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One does not simply probe black holes in a stolen UFO
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Protip: if your house key is shaped like a gun, you may encounter difficulties during security checks when traveling
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Snow fell in the Sahara Desert yesterday
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Air Force to consider lightweight, low-cost fighter for counter terror ops. Hmmm, smallish, not very shiny... moar F-35s please
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Today women (and men) from all across the nation are standing up for freedom, liberty, and equality in America. Are you marching? Would you if you could?
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Artist transforms baby helmets into dazzling works of art (with awesome photos)
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Internet goes head over heels for Michelle Obama's side-eye
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This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club: what to get a smart 13-year-old who really likes to read
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Finally, a way to combine your alcoholism with your love of internet memes
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Take a break from watching the... festivities, go wash your hands and grab an adult beverage of your choice (so long as it's not a mango daquiri, because COME ON). It's the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz
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Cakeghazi
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"Bigly" is the most looked up word that was never actually used in 2016
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this trio
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Man takes his cat sledding down a snowy hill. Your cat snuggles deeper under the covers, says wake him in time for Caturday
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"Donald Trump dances the way I walked around the hospital after my hernia surgery"
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This can't stand. Make ready my ship, General. It's time to show those dogs what we are made of
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You call that a pull-up? That's not a pull-up
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Alt-right hook
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| Fri January 20, 2017 |
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That feeling you get when both of your vehicles - in different cities - are crushed by trees on the same day
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Unauthorized detour for beer lands Connecticut man back in jail
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| (Some Kid) |
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Photoshop this puddle player
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Lobster blood could help treat warts, control shingles outbreaks, summon Cthulhu
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Photoshop this presidential putter
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For people who have the self-control of a toddler and need to crack open a beer NOW, a legislator for our times
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ISIS: That's a nice Roman colosseum you have there, Syria. Be a shame if something- aw, screw this, let's just smash it anyway
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109-year-old woman credits her longevity to bacon
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She probably thought, "I can't believe no one ever thought to do this before"
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Mom's Social Security canceled after someone reported her dead. Thanksgiving's gonna be awkward this year
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Trump's Android phone confiscated by the Secret Service, replaced with ultra-secure phone-shaped rubber squeak dog toy. Let's see if anyone notices
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Come all without, come all within, you'll not see nothing like the mighty Trump. This is your inauguration thread, brought to you by the Corporation for Russian/American Friendship
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Ann Arbor to spend $143,000 on UFO inspections
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Cows miss their Skittles feeding after they fall off a truck and litter a highway in Wisconsin
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Photoshop these really old students
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After 10-year effort, Army selects new pistol maker. "The joke that we had in the military was that sometimes the most effective use of an M9 is to simply throw it at your adversary"
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Grandmother of teenager shot dead by authorities dies
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El Chapo Guzman arrives in New York, is immediately picked as director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons
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Fark it. Voting should be mandatory
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Local Atlanta TV reporter retweets support from Georgia congressman after reporting about why Pizzagate isn't fake. Fark: The congressman he retweeted isn't real
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Dog vs. whoopie cushion: there are no winners in this savage battle
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Boxed vodka: at $16 per liter, it's the grteatests
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3 dead, 20 injured after man plows through crowd in Melbourne, Australia. Driver arrested
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| Thu January 19, 2017 |
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India has a huge problem with fake news, not just now but since forever: "In the early '90s, rabble-rousers would mass-produce cassettes full of fake gunfire, screams, and chants of "Allah Akbar" and play them at full volume in the dead of the night"
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Ugly-ass baby snowy white guereza colobus monkey born at Cincinnati Zoo
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Hotel rendezvous starts with a stun gun to the nuts. Then things get weird
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When Mexico sends us their people, they're not sending their best. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime... they're tunnel builders
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Meet the former Microsoft typograhic engineer behind the famously contentious Comic Sans font. Yes, that guy
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Remember the last time you went bowling? Remember the bowling ball? Ok, now read this article
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Man uses bare hands to kill wasps. " I have done this over 50 times and have never gotten stung"
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Anything can be beautiful if seen at a sufficient distance, and for Detroit that distance turns out to be low Earth orbit
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Photoshop this hat
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Armed Forces preparing to remove President if he refuses to step down
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Arkansas teen pushing to make an official state dinosaur. Mike Huckabee honored by the nomination
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RCMP across Canada, lose connection to CPIC database. No record, warrant, license plate or ID checks. Evidently this can happen now
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Man who killed Seattle Police Officer found mysteriously dead in prison. Well, there's probably not a big mystery here
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Thirty firefighters killed, 75 people injured and many still missing as huge high-rise building collapses in Tehran fire
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Best Korea plans to assault the ocean once again
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| (Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: Gung hay fat choy.. and welcome to the year of the fire rooster. Do you have any recipes to celebrate Chinese New Year? Share to the right
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"Hey judge, fark you" - still not a sound strategy
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It's important to check your rear view mirror when backing up. Got that, United Airlines pilot?
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Why Hokkaido is Japan's "America." Or America is Britain's "Hokkaido" Either way, yee-haw, pardners
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Photoshop Admiral Benbow and his luxurious locks
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Having absolutely NO other stories to report on, the BBC tackles the tough issues such as: "Why do we put 'The' in front of the country Gambia when talking about it?"
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Not gonna be deceased yet. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture
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Giving someone lottery tickets is a quick and easy way to scratch someone off your Christmas list and then yo THE BASTARDS WON WHAT????
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Sweden sets new record for wind speed, clocking in at 106.93 miles per hour or 394 börks per lutefisk
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We haven't had a good "mom brings machete into day care" story in awhile
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Zenon wasn't inert when he picked up his 14th DUI arrest
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"Help, my hotel is buried under an avalanche." "No, it isn't." "Yes, it is." "No, it isn't." "What the--? We need help here." "Oh, I'm sorry, this is the argument line"
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Kentucky elected official hit by car, cattle threatened; ex-opponent pleads guilty
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Four words that strike terror into all that hear them: London international mime festival
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ISIS was building this fighter jet in a garage in Mosul when Iraqi forces overran it: "If it had been operational, ISIS would have been only the second terrorist group in history to have had air attack capabilities" (pics)
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Today in unexpected combinations that can kill you: Grapefruit and cholesterol medication
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Apparently, a furious Clark Griswold now drives for UberEats
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Charity begs people to stop donating chainsaws and women's high heels to disaster victims
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When you kick it to the great beyond, have you gotten your digital life in order?
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Photoshop this Zachary Taylor supporter
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Nearly 70,000 uppity broads - including Jane Fonda and Ariana Grande - expected at anti-Trump Women's March in Los Angeles
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There are many good reasons why you might feel the need to drive 91 mph in a snowstorm. Because you're late for an appointment to get your stereo installed is not one of them
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Owner of cobra farm isn't worried about getting bit, says knowing is half the battle
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Finally, a free clinic that isn't an abortionplex
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Thinking about fleeing the US to Canada because of Trump? Sure, that is the sensible thing to do, but have you thought about moving to Japan?
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Brain behind killing Pinky to be evaluated for mental competency
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Iranian female bodybuilder arrested for posting non-nude nude photos
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Man builds an inverted aquarium so fish in a garden pond can see what it looks like on the surface world
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Assange: That pledge to turn myself In? That wasn't so much a pledge, it was more "I Didn't Think You Would Really Do That"
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Seriously, who would want to steal a concrete buffalo? FARK: He was too weak to carry it back to his vehicle
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Pastor claims his shoe can cure vaginal warts. In somewhat related news, Red Forman claims his shoe can cure dumbassery
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 611: "Just Desserts Part Deux ". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed January 18, 2017 |
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The worst thing to happen to your body after you hit 40 isn't cancer, heart disease or sexual malfunction, it's chronic insomnia
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Torn from the Front Page of the Bangor Daily News: "A Maine high school band has driven two Portland politicians to socialism"
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Woah woah woah dude, did we really spend that much money on weed last year? Woah
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Denver starts work on becoming the first city in the nation to allow the use of pot in public places
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If you've been disemboweling deer and leaving the carcasses by the side of the road, officers of the Ohio Fish and Game Department would like to show you how to donate them to the local Food Bank, in person
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"NJ Transit bus carrying 25 people struck by bullets in Jersey City." Good thinking there, using a bus instead of 13+ ambulances
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Expert bomb maker gives his 4 sons a lesson in what NOT to do when building a roadside bomb
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This is why you should always clean your belly button
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CIA declassifies Stargate program. Col. O'Neill unavailable for comment
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these trees on a cliff
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If you're drunk and drive your car into a ditch you might as well have sex
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What was your state's nickname in the 19th century? Bug Eater, Puke, Weasel, or Sucker?
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The Lord Jesus Christ takes time off from his busy schedule of appearing on toast and is promptly arrested for Trump assassination threat
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Photoshop this office slacker into a more exotic slacking environment
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Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Although, if you're currently locked up for masterminding 9/11 they might drag their feet on delivering your letters
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The deadliest animal in Australia: My Little Pony
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Boris Johnson warns European leaders "not to give Britain punishment beatings" as it tries to exit the EU. Wow. Apparently politics are a lot kinkier and fun on that side of the pond than this one
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Most people stake a claim to a parking spot with a turn signal, not by impaling other drivers
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Pictsweet Farms recalls extra-crunchy breaded okra - now with artisanal glass fragments
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Mayor: "That's not my voice on those audio tapes." Everyone else: "Dude, it's so you"
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NASA and NOAA declare last year the hottest year on record. Not technically a repeat from 2016 or 2015, but it's happened three years running
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"Man dressed as beer bottle wanted for pizza theft" (pics)
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Psychologists debunk the idea that the third Monday in January ('Blue Monday') is the most depressing day of the year. In addition, for the first time in 108 years it also won't be Opening Day at Wrigley Field
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15 people not including your father who famously disappeared
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It's here -- your comprehensive list of the World's Most Annoying Airline Passengers. Good effort, Aromatic Passenger, but looks like Inattentive Parent and Rear Seat Kicker were really in it to win it
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AI can predict when your insurance carrier should terminate your coverage with 80% accuracy
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Fatah, Hamas to form unity party, presumably to be called "Fatahs"
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Photoshop this misty morning paddleboarder
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Woman stabs man nine times when he says he won't commit to a relationship - as if that's going to change his mind
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If you dare to mock your girlfriend in front of her adult son while drinking and watching football inside a hotel room, you better sleep with one eye open
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Welcome to China, where you can have your cake and drink it too
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Moby Dick's restaurant lease blocked because of "offensive name". What's wrong with Moby?
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No, it's not ok to watch porn on an airplane either
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Will there be honor among thieves? Probably not
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You're upset that your supposed pot dealer ran off with your $40 and never returned. Knowing full well that buying weed is illegal in your country, you naturally C) call the police
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Share some advice for new parents. Maybe for newly stay at home parents, what helps keep the house running smoothly? Keeping sanity?
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Good news, Kentuckians: Yours is the cheapest state for smokers
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| Tue January 17, 2017 |
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I'm not exactly sure where the Ice Cream Killer fits on the hot/crazy scale, but she's sure gotta be WAAAAAAAY up there on the crazy side. Scary tag only very slightly beats Sick tag (Not safe for work images in sidebar & below article)
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Oklahoma State University students decide the best way to commemorate Martin Luther King day is to post pics of themselves in blackface
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God as my witness, I thought it was a 'Springer Spaniel'
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"The court imagines an appropriate reaction from SpongeBob SquarePants would be, 'Aw, tartar sauce'"
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There's procrastination and then there's filing a missing person report on someone who vanished in 1981
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Fark NotNewsletter: Update to the TotalFark & BareFark membership drive
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Never ever again will you have to wonder which store-bought hot dog is the "Best Ever Hot Dog In the Universe of All Time." It's been decided. Forever
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You're listening to Stockholm FM & coming up next is..***crackle*** .. Get out of the farking way. Coming through... ***crackle*** ...ith Bjorn Svensson. So keep it locked right here
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If you're going to hold onto a library book called "Forty Minutes Late," might as well go big and keep it for a century
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Florida celebrates MLK Day the only way it knows how
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Missing hunter was really in jail for public intoxication in the most Alabama story you'll read today
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Hundreds of wolf-dog hybrids illegally sold in Italy. That's nothing, you should see the Hungarian spiderbat black market
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State of emergency declared in The Gambia. For those of you who don't speak English, that's Le Gambia
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Photoshop theme: An alternative album cover for any existing album
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♪ Chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim chim cher-oo / the Florida fire department has been called to come rescue you ♪
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Canadian couple shocked, SHOCKED to find 'micro-pig' they purchased turns into 670-lb giant. Apparently too polite to return it
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Good news Millennials, you'll still struggle to pay off your student loans even after you retire
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Harry Dean Stanton gets surprise prison term in repo gone wrong. Emilio Estevez reportedly nervous
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Norway has the second-highest priced Big Macs in the world. Of course, the only other option is lutefisk
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Sex Temple Madam avoids prison, does not avoid being subby's new band name
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In addition to civil rights, civil language, and America being a world leader, we also are going to have to say goodbye to the Onion's articles about Joe Biden
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President Obama commutes most of Chelsea Manning's 35-year sentence
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It's not every day you take a walk to your local reservoir and find a 12-foot 600-year-old Buddha sitting there
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Photoshop this...SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL???
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In medical news, you may already be infected with a drug-resistant superbug and not even know it. EVERYBODY PANIC
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Shutting Ringling Bro. Circus will cost 462 jobs, owners say. To be fair, newly unemployed clowns and carnival barkers should easily be able to find suitable employment in all levels of government
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Zebra found dead and skinned near Hearst Castle. In other news, there are zebras roaming around near Hearst Castle
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2016's worst home inspections included a hockey puck used as a cleanout plug, a sewer vent beneath a patio table, and a squirrel skeleton installed into the soffit
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Swedish advertising company embarrassed to find out the phrase "White Power" has unfortunate connotations in English. Huh, there goes my plan for "Death to America" brand oversized coffins
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Bookies are giving Trump 4-1 odds of being impeached within 6 months
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Gov Paul LePage declares that John Lewis should be more respectful of white people and needs to understand Civil Rights history. Seriously
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A comprehensive list of who's marching in Trump's inaugural parade. Don't blink
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Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump to D.C. stylist: Hey, how about you give us free hairstyles for the inauguration in exchange for some Twitter publicity? D.C. stylist: Hey, how about I get my publicity for free by talking about how cheap you are?
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That Maserati doing 185, slid into a pond and no more will it drive
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Wood burning banned in liberal Bay Area, book burning okay though as long as it's "The Art of the Deal"
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Justin Bieber impersonator arrested for getting underaged girls to send him naked pictures. At least they said it was an impersonator. I don't know if I'm a belieber
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Here are the 50 craziest laws in each state. Come for not being allowed to drive blindfolded, stay for idiots not being allowed to vote
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How abortion politics aborted Obama's plans to reduce abortions. Abortion
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Tom Brady's sleeping habits, Monica Crowley's plagiarism, and one stretchy condom scandal. These are YOUR Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2017-01-08 to Sat 2017-01-14
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100 years ago, British code breakers read a German message asking Mexico to invade the USA and changed the course of world history
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Photoshop this poser on the pier
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There is absolutely, positively, NO chance at all that digging a tunnel under Stonehenge will release ancient gods long trapped and best left buried
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I guess it does look better shaved
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As if the snakes, spiders, kangaroos, poisonous frogs, sharks, crocodiles and women weren't enough to get you killed in Australia, they have a rare flesh-eating bacteria too
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Ticket scalpers losing money on Trump inauguration tickets
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When your mom calls you by the dog's name, it just means she loves you
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Our long international nightmare is finally over...or is it?
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L.A. community college pays $28,000 to free itself from ransomware, will hope to recoup the money after one new part time student enrolls
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| Mon January 16, 2017 |
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Every 25 years the Canadian returns to the lake of his birth to breed a new generation of pucklings
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The seven wonders of Instagram have now been calculated according to hashtags, and the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben and the Golden Gate Bridge are the most photographed things in the world
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Man arrested for threatening wife with nail-infused bat called 'the clown tickler'. "He claimed he created (it) to protect his children from scary clowns"
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The RSPCA would like to ask the public to double check before calling them out to catch a toy snake
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Cops pull over DUI suspect who flees on foot. Once they catch him, his twin brother interferes. Or was it?
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L.A. County Sheriff's Department to begin using drones to respond to bomb threats, hostage crises, doughnut deliveries to squad cars
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Thief stuffs python into his pants and slithers away in daring pet store robbery--LOOK THE HEADLINE ALREADY MADE THE TROUSER SNAKE JOKE, OKAY?
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The National Geographic Neighborhood Guide has named this city the most surprising food destination in North America. And yeah... it's surprising
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Omaha mall owners alert millennial kids unlike those fascist hippies in California they can still use social media to recreate "New Radicals" music videos in their properties
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Giant alligator found in nature reserve, seeks vengeance against Happy Gilmore for what he did to his father
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Inventor creates robot that can play bagpipes 24 hours a day, seven days a week, without ever getting tired. He is truly history's greatest monster
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Ah, Vermont, land of maple syrup, mountains, and alert citizens who can spot a bank robber by his failure to recycle
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There's trolling, and then there's painting your train in the national colors and writing "Kosovo is Serbia" in giant letters before sending it to the border (with trolling pics)
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A Google search about the penalty for double homicide might be something you want to do BEFORE pulling the trigger. Also, remember to clear your phone history
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An enormous anomaly has been spotted on Venus. This is not to be confused with that equally enormous anomaly on Uranus. Seriously, get that thing looked at
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Google apologizes for citing Robert E. Lee's birthday instead of MLK Day in 3 states. In other news the 3 states in question don't apologize for still celebrating Robert E. Lee's Birthday in the first place
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this golden shower
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Welcome to Florida, where our alligators seemingly eat school buses for lunch
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If you drop your GoPro camera in the lake, just let it go, man, cause it's gone. Until next year when someone else finds it and sees your family videos and returns it
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Most Germans don't think racial profiling is a problem. This is not a repeat from 1933
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CAPTURED: Istanbul, not Constantinople nightclub shooter apprehended in Istanbul, not Constantinople suburb
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The Rev Dr. Martin Luther King's letter from a Birmingham jail cell to other clergy continues to be far too relevant. It's long, but worth the read
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Renewable energy becoming too plentiful and cheap for coal companies? Simple, propose legislation to ban them and fine any utility for using renewable energy. Welcome to Wyoming
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Eugene Cernan, the last moon walker, has died. SHAMON
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Out of respect for the Boss, the B-Street band backs out of Trump inauguration gala
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The US Patent and Trademark Office is empowered, by the so-called "disparagement clause" of a 1946 law, to protect American sensitivities by denying trademark protection to "immoral, deceptive or scandalous" trademarks. Enter "The Slants"
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If you are receiving disability payments for a disabled right arm, don't go to Disney World and use your right arm
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Dear Deidre, I had drunken sex with two of my exes because I want a baby and was annoyed that my current husband's seed could find no purchase. I don't know what I was thinking of, and feel very guilty about my escapades. What should I do?
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This is how you use the Wendy's Drive Thru, West Virginia style
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"I cannot believe that worked": A jackknifed semi truck that was blocking Interstate 80 performs a controlled slide for over a mile to reach an exit and re-open the road
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Those responsible for hacking the hackers, have been hacked
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"A knife-wielding assailant butchered a 20-year-old man during a wild soiree inside the home of University of Massachusetts Boston Chancellor ". Soirée? Who talks like that?
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A self-described 'comedian' and Dallas fan from Florida gets a Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl LI Champion tattoo on his arm. Fark: Now needs tattoo removal advice
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People are now abusing opioids prescribed to pets. Your dog still wants steak
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the new Los Angeles Chargers logo
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Coastguard called out to reports of cries for help find two amorous owls instead. ORLY
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No, pot is not legal in North Korea. Like most other minor offenses, you would face a fine, hanging, flame-thrower and 120mm mortar detonation for a first offense, and it gets worse from there. So don't get any ideas
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Pennsylvania's 'free the six pack' law to take effect this week. Subby's six pack went free-range years ago and hasn't been seen since
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Astronaut realizes too late that there's not a Snapchat filter to cover up mystery lights outside the International Space Station
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Zhou Youguang, who simplified writing Chinese has died at 111. Apparently he got his idea after spending his first 110 years trying to finish reading just one book
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Front page ruckus in Greenwich CT involves booze, swearing, AND yelling. That's a whole year worth of mayhem in one afternoon
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IMF: Well, because of Trump and Brexit, let's pin all our hopes on Canada. (We're doomed)
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Suddenly, ANTS
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How one decorator tried - and failed - to make Trump Tower tasteful
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In Alabama, today's holiday is Robert E. Lee's birthday. Happy Spite Day, everybody
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If you're so drunk that firefighters have to pull you off a utility pole, you're an idiot. If you're drunk enough that firefighters have to pull you OUT of a utility pole, you're a legend (pics)
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Meet the eight men who have as much money as half of the world. Combined
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Five Generations Show Up for WWII Veteran's 100th Birthday. " All Russell Halchak of Nanticoke wanted for his birthday were some scratch-off tickets. When you're 100 years old, you've got all the gifts you really want"
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Don't you want to have sex so badly that you would do it with your kids in the backseat?
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The second most wanted fugitive by the FBI can be moved up one spot on the list
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During his final days in office, Obama considers Manning up
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Photoshop theme: If life played by Disney rules
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Apparently sitting on a wall leads to pot smoking
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| (Some Quantum dude) |
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Did John Titor, an alleged time traveller, actually predict the rise of Donald Trump?
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Another Missouri school district considers 4-day week due to budget cuts. Parents do not like this new math
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Hundreds of students seeking "sugar daddies." Nihil sub sole novum
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Trksh frght pln crshs n Kyrgyzstan nghbrhd
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Foreigners likely tried to influence Canada's election. This news makes me hot blooded
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The history of one of LA's oldest still-operating restaurants, Philippe's, and the city's signature sandwich, the French Dip. Subby is hungry for roast beef and au jus now
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Naked woman leads police on multi-county high speed chase. Surprisingly, not in Florida
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Eskimos have 17 different words for snow, Eritreans none. Which makes it surprising that an refugee agency would resettle Eritreans in Missoula, Montana, of all places
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