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Sun January 08, 2017
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Bad: Get shot on the street. Good: Neighbor reaches scene in moments. Louisiana: Prays over you instead of rendering aid
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Live rent free in Manhattan for 7 years...yes, indoors. Hint: Loft Law
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Homelessness cannot be solved in a headline, on a bumper sticker, or by a campaign slogan
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Douche wrecks a rented Ferrari Italia despite his passenger's advice to not drive like a douche. Not safe for work language in video
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Photoshop the road less traveled
source: assets.atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Explain your favorite movie very badly. "Some dude loves Rita Hayworth and there's this guy who murdered someone. They're like, BFFs in prison, and platonic BFFs at that. So the Rita loving dude chisels this wall in his cell forEVERS and heads south"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Concord Monitor)
 
 
 
Could you climb every 4,000 foot mountain in New Hampshire? In a month? Could you do it all over again the next month? 12 months in a row? Or would you rather sit inside and read this article?
source: concordmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Don't tweet me, 'bro'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man fined for driving with unsecured load of snow; city working out rain fines for spring
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC GoodFood)
 
 
 
Five things never to say to your child about food. "You have to finish off that third double espresso before you start on that case of Pixy Stix" conspicuously absent
source: bbcgoodfood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Since Drew has been told he resembles Czar Alexander III, photoshop him some other possible relatives so he won't be lonely. (link goes to the Czar)
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Great. Global warming has created hipster fish
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ghost rivers haunt city. Would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling developers
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The largest armed U.S. military brigade to be deployed to Europe since the end of the Cold War has just arrived in Germany. Hmm...this means something
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Council cancels Meals On Wheels because it's too expensive, starts feeding prison food to the elderly instead
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Uh, yeah
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Self-driving wire spool debuts in Pennsylvania
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNDU South Bend)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Michigan...
source: wndu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(York Daily Record)
 
 
 
Woman drives into river to avoid police, continues drinking beer as car floats. Good thing it was a light beer
source: ydr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's cool when somebody spray paints graffiti on the rocks along a popular hiking trail as long as the messages is positive. "I actually did a snapchat of it because I thought that's really cool to see something that I think the world really needs"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crossing chicken
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Hangouts
 
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
Aiden, Adderall most popular baby names. Bonus: best "man on the street" type interviews providing excuses for dumb baby names
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fort Lauderdale shooter to FBI: I'm being mind controlled by the CIA to force me to watch ISIS videos and I'm thinking of committing terrorist acts. FBI: Nope, no problem here. Oh btw, here's your gun back
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The Sandusky case has cost PSU $237,000,000, so far
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Man shot in laundromat fight. Let's see how agitators in the media try to spin this one in the next news cycle
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man who stole a remote control for a TV sentenced to 22 years in prison because Illinois
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mark Hamill reads a Trump tweet in the Joker's voice
source: audioboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scary Mommy)
 
 
 
Trump turns down Obama's swing offer
source: scarymommy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Busty Australian twins want to marry the same guy, who they currently share as a boyfriend
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha man dies in most Nebraska way possible
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Man arrested for having less than 13 lbs of kitty litter
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's the first Livingston Stapler Company Presents show of 2017. Two hours of eclectic music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 07, 2017
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There's no better way to improve morale than by simulating a plane crash
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Waving a giant inflatable penis at your neighbors may not be seen as polite, but it's a pretty good way to get on Fark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wet ones
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Western civilization, please rethink your importance, it seems a 3,500-year-old Greek tomb will disagree with you
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Woman wanted by police on forgery charges is the subject of a fake obituary sent to a local newspaper. That trick never works
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's bad enough that you insist on starting the New Year by abstaining from alcohol for the month, but do you have to make it worse by calling it 'Drynuary?'
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wooly Willy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Wooly Willy
source: d1jqecz1iy566e.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Poet can't answer questions about her own poems on Texas's standardized test
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you're buying food ahead of a massive storm that's headed your way, instead of hoarding bread and milk you should be stockpiling beans, peanut butter, and chocolate
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What the internet has come to: dress colors, number of legs, and now "out of focus ham or not?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Wearing pyjamas to the supermarket is absolutely fine. It's fine in any supermarket, at any time of the day. Let's put this issue to bed"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
What's a "Ute"?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"An American tourist who fought a gunman after being shot in a botched robbery in Brazil was subsequently jailed for swearing at a policeman"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
The criminal who defaced the Hollywood sign to read "Hollyweed" says it wasn't vandalism
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Ektachrome LIVES
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
When engaging with your neighbor over his method of excessive snowfall disposal, shooting his tires out is always an acceptable plan of action
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Charles Manson back in prison, says he's glad to be out of Bakersfield
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Smart ass leaves gate open
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Pepsi Challenge not valid for freight trains
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Who you going to root for? Verizon? Or the volunteer firefighters ... and their ponies?
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ah Florida, there's a reason that there is a special tag just for you
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club, we're looking for the best book-to-screen adaptations ... as well as the ones which made you want to throw the book at the screen in disgust
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
A man got a sinking feeling / Right on the edge of a pit / His home was about to fall over / in to a big mess of .. Shaving Cream
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Photoshop this opening
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Furious biker forces a man to take off his bike gang leather jacket with club patches on it because he wasn't a member of a gang and 'didn't earn it.' Fark: it was a Sons Of Anarchy jacket
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
We interrupt your normal Caturday shenanigans for this important PSA: Over 20 kinds of canned cat food have been recalled, including 9 Lives (see complete list in link). You may only resume posting kitty pictures after checking Fluffy's food supply
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
'Old book' given to charity shop turns out to be rare first edition of A Clockwork Orange worth £1,500. This is why I never throw anything out
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Snow Mountain closed because of too much snow
source: fox25boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
South Carolina spends $6,000+ on books containing Bible verses that were given to family members of people who died in car wrecks. Until one Atheist had to ruin it for everyone
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Actual story, people in Vancouver are desperately looking for salt and sand to deal with "snow and ice". The rest of Canada points and laughs. And laughs. And laughs
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
This cold weather is actually good for you. Just look at how healthy and robust all the homeless people gathered around the alley barrel fire behind your apartment are
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Sanrio adds a new Character to Hello Kitty's friends. Meet Aggretsuko, a cute little red panda who listens to heavy metal and drinks profusely
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Woman decides to play bumper cars with unwilling participants, including her two kids (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 06, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One percent problems: £7 million worth of your gold is stolen, and it takes you two years to realise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Worst. Driving. Ever
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
New high tech doorbell contains special Seinfeld ring if you know the right tapping sequence. If you get it wrong, there's this trap door that opens up
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Unless it is true 'stranger rape' the NYPD isn't too concerned about it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Bank Robbery 101: Do not use your debit card
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Duane Johnson arrested for the murder of a D.C. yoga teacher, Monday Night RAW
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're going to propose to your girlfriend and are nervous about possibly dropping the ring, DON'T pop the question near a waterfall
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aurora Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man who threw a rake at a Jeep sentenced to 3 years in prison, looks like love child of Hulk Hogan and Woody Harrelson
source: aurorasentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Unexpected benefit of Facebook? The rise of the Anti-Bridezilla
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cigarette lighter
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Two google homes are arguing with each other about whether or not they're human. Right now, in real time
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Man cancels bicycle trip across Antarctica after realizing it was a bicycle trip across freakin' Antarctica
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Planned $10 billion upgrade to JFK airport forgets to include the apparently minor issue of actually getting to where you're going
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
We have the best quizzes at Fark. The best, believe me. You're gonna love it, bigly. It's the yuuuuuuuuge Friday Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'I'm a normal guy. I just fancy six-year-olds', says deviant freak who should be in jail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Macomb County declares state of emergency over Fraser sinkhole. Apparently there's not enough tossed salads and scrambled eggs to fill it up
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Every citizen in France automatically registered as an organ donor, unless they opt out. Although due to the French lifestyle of fatty foods, wine and cigarettes, doctors shouldn't count on finding many healthy kidneys, lungs, hearts or livers
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
In Japan, small group of genderless hetero young men reject conventional dress codes via clothes and makeup, attracting young women. "He looks like a girl. But when you put that together with his maleness, I see him as a new kind of man"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Are you bored? Here are more than 100 things you can do right now. Strangely absent is surf around on this website
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Chickens are scumbags who trick their partners into sex
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these old men
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Never count your chickens before they hatch. However, if this becomes a problem, you might want to start buying fresher eggs at the grocery store
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yo Dawg)
 
 
 
TV report about the girl that ordered a giant dollhouse on Amazon Echo triggers viewers' Amazon Echos to order giant dollhouses
source: cw6sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
26-year-old Esteban Santiago from NJ allegedly shot first at FLL
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Whale that killed three people will now have to answer for his deeds in the afterlife
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turns out consignment stores are a great place to pick up inexpensive hand grenades (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Leaky pipes are making it hard for Arizona State honors students to learn anything, marking the first time "Arizona State" and "honors students" are used in the same sentence
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Reset the clock
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Seniors turning to "Cane Fu" to defend themselves
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ottawa program for giving alcoholics hourly drinks garners attention in Aussie research labs, Fark.com staff meetings
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
In the US, stay away from the yellow snow. In Beijing, stay away from ALL snow
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Bicyclist struck and killed by van outside Legoland. Police still trying to piece together the accident
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Slackliner, no slacker, walks ski lift cable to save "friend of friend's" life
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Miniature brain, skull and hair found inside 16-year-old girl's ovary in "monster tumour." Happy Friday, everyone
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Farking at CES in Vegas, Part 2
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Asshat landlord gives leasing agency list of 'unsuitable' tenants. Looks ok so far: smokers, pet owners, single parents, plumbers, battered wives... wait, what?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So why are wedding rings worn on the left hand anyway?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Extremely rare 800 pound whale washes up along the Jersey shore, reminding residents that the Governor hasn't been around in a while
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
Video
 
Two brothers try to ambush armored car employee. Since this is Fark, you can guess how that went
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Good news for the day; rescue dog enjoys swimming with dolphins
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
I'll see your anaconda in a toilet and raise you with a carpet python in a leaf blower
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
OSHA finds faults with the lack of PPE, thumb jerky, firing employee attempting to dial 911
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Attention Farkers living in Fairfax County, VA: The county's brand-new Civilian Police Review Panel is looking for members. You have one month to apply. Have at it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
After careful study for two years, Chilean navy publicly releases video of a streetlight
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Delta apologizes for relocating crying baby from first class to coach. Next time try the overhead bin
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this idol to a dark god. Well, an orange god
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Mom sheds 100 pounds to get back at cheating husband, discovers looking hot is the best revenge
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Llamas on the lloose
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Empty your gun into a car that's leaving and pump all occupants full of holes because you think they are suspicious? Well, that's fine in the U.S.
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
It turns out the easiest diet of them all is to follow no diet
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump deposed
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Hipsters making their own beer. New smugness: Hipsters making their own butter
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Second mountain lion killed on same LA freeway in a month. The road is not safe
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The 'Yankee Doodle' song was written by the English to make fun of Americans, but it backfired. And other pasta facts that will leave you scratching your noodle
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
As the ambulance sped away, one thing stuck in his mind (warning: graphic image)
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's Texas. Of course you can rent a cowboy boot-shaped house
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Genius beautician comes up with devious plan to keep her driving points down but is foiled when her Facebook post pleading for a patsy is spotted by a cop
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Just a heads up: If the devil enters you, you'd be prone to driving erratically across exits ramps, crashing into half a dozen vehicles, and gleefully telling reporters you don't think you were even wearing a seatbelt
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pet deer named after Bambi's friend shot by evil game warden just because there's a law against having deer as pets, which to be fair, sounds like a really dumb law in rural Kansas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Greta Van Susteren now at MSNBC. Says she would have stayed at Fox if only Roger Ailes had done her like he'd done the other girls. It was very insulting
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
The story of a man and a rabid bobcat. "To be honest with you I didn't know it was a bobcat. I just thought it was a really really big domestic cat," said homeowner Karen Morse
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Austin man caught trying to get rid of cocaine he'd hidden under his fat belly. Guess cocaine doesn't keep everyone from eating
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
New study shows that American Christians know about as much about their own religion as most Americans do about world geography
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof: Your honor, I object. The crying by the family members of the people I murdered is excessive and will prejudice the jury against me
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Uber booty call? Now more than ever ...just an Uber away
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hemel Gazette)
 
 
 
Is it a bird, is it a plane? No but it is the well known stuntman from Superman vs Batman being caught speeding by police in English town
source: hemeltoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotus Blog)
 
 
 
M. Lewis and William Clarke headed to Washington after incident while traveling involving sovereignty of Indian Tribes. This is not a repeat from 1806
source: scotusblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Cyclist carrying a poodle fights man on horseback and you might be surprised who wins
source: stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You really think Julian Assange would do that? Just go on TV and tell lies?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
"Come to our garage, where you can give birth while we change your oil"
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this life drawing class featuring Iggy Pop
source: static01.nyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
"We don't force anyone to stay," [said the Scientologist]. "But I could see why people have that idea"
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ever wondered what the stuff between the wafers in a KitKat is? Not pink slime hopefully
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Florida Man charged with burning underwear in Starbucks, plans to use served-extremely-hot-coffee defense
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Charles Manson's grandson said he's in good spirits despite his failing health. "For being 82 and locked up, he's kept himself together well physically." Care to guess where Charles Manson's grandson lives?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
The Arctic is maxing out both axes on the hot/crazy scale
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Simple)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: We need a proper cookie thread for one last hurrah after the holiday season. Did you try any new recipes? Used a tried-and-true recipe to win every party? Show us the good stuff and why the best cookies always have raisins in them
source: realsimple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Naked woman causes disturbance at a gas station, then hijacks a marked police vehicle, then leads a miles-long chase into oncoming interstate traffic. Then it gets weird
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
I know, let's illustrate the women's march with a crowd of women forming a ♂ symbol on the cover of the Washington Post Express
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Don Lemon is still drunk from New Year's Eve
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what Santa Claus is doing now
source: lh6.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
"I do this every Sunday" is not an acceptable excuse for man busted taking upskirt shots
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember that guy in MA who, while already facing child rape charges, was arrested after stealing 16 guns from a National Guard Armory, some of which were never recovered? Yeah, not to alarm you or anything, but he just escaped from prison
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
Judge denies bond to man who kidnapped estranged wife, who married him after 1st husband was declared dead after he bought life insurance policy from 2nd husband, then disappeared on duck hunt. Confused? You won't be after this episode of "Florida"
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense News)
 
 
 
B-52 loses engine, forced to glide back to base on the remaining seven
source: defensenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Quinoa is over: let it go. The dietary future belongs to ghee"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A woman discovers that her great-grandmother has been praying to Elrond from LOTR every day for years after mistaking him for a figurine of Saint Anthony. In her defense, Elrond actually is a Lord
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Man who robbed pizza shop with face covered but otherwise nude arrested. No word as to whether a tallywacker lineup was used in identification
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barstool Sports)
 
 
 
Clemson player explains that "you either sucked at football, you had no friends, or you were the person that changed in the bathroom stall because you were scared to shower with the team" if you didn't stick your fingers in other players' bungholes
source: barstoolsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Up to 3 inches of snow predicted for parts of the Carolinas this weekend. Milk and bread distributors spotted smiling, high-fiving each other, lighting cigars with $100 bills
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
From the Department of Obvious: Charlie Manson was not a 'model prisoner'
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
So about hackers and elections. No, not the Russians and the Americans and 2016, this is about the Italian hackers whose tools were used to manipulate a Mexican election in 2014. BUILD A FIREWALL
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dear State Lottery Officials, I better start winning the lottery, or I will kill all of you. Signed, Lottery Loser Lady
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Louisiana is washing away. Not that stink, though, that's gonna stay forever
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
NewsFlash
 
Huge explosion reported outside court in Turkey. At least 10 injured, cars on fire, feathers everywhere
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Dead Taiwanese official gets "happy departure": 50 scantily-clad ladies pole dancing atop jeeps for his funeral
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happily chilled out dude
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
A baby elephant was born at Disney's Animal Kingdom and it's super ugly
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Four people arrested after live streaming the beating of a special needs man on Facebook which included anti-Trump, racist taunts
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Authorities say the cause of death of a parkour runner involved in a "train accident" is "not yet known." I'm going to go out on a limb and say it was "getting his ass run over by a farking train"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Tijuana: #1 in barbecued iguana, #1 in most homicides in 2016
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NH1)
 
 
 
Man arrested for church arson after watching child porn and masturbating into a dirty diaper. It's great to have goals
source: nh1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Queen of Sweden says palace is haunted but in the good kind of way. The ghosts are "small friends"
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cops in Ohio can't steal people's stuff anymore
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Historian predicts society could collapse within a decade (w/ helpful Idiocracy illustration)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
2016 very nearly did get The Queen. She was almost shot by one of her own guards on a 3AM stroll in the garden
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
There is an eerie photo circulating on the internet of what must be either an angel or a demon or a palm tree
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 609: "Potent Potables 4 ". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 04, 2017
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Wendy's tweets white nationalist frog meme, for some reason. Nihlist Arbys prepares military response
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Long Island Railroad train derails in Brooklyn, injuring 103 people. Officials call it a moderately successful morning commute
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Someone has been leaving bizarre poems, advice, and weigh loss tips on food items at one particular Tesco
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elkhart Truth)
 
 
 
"Hey, I was just seeing if they were stealing my shampoo"
source: elkharttruth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
It's that time of year NYC Farkers, here's the details on the No Pants Subway Ride 2017 (pics - including Superman)
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sweden experiments with a six hour work day. Which is like your work day, but you don't have to spend two hours of it in the bathroom reading fark
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
France passes law forbidding cruel, degrading, and/or humiliating treatment of children by their parents. Millions of teens subsequently refuse to be seen in public with parents
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Spam will turn 80 years old this year and taste like it
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Moviegoer slaps Nestlé with class action lawsuit over underfilled Raisinets boxes
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Man walks out of front door and hits a wall. Those Germans have a weird sense of humor
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
A good reason why you don't stick your head out of the high-speed train that travels from Shanghai to Beijing through the airpocalypse, you'll end up with smogface
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Let's see how the 1950's Soviet Union envisaged 2017, the centennial of their revolution. In Soviet Russia, future imagines you
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago officer stripped of power after fatal shooting of neighbor. No word if he'll be trapped inside of a crystal or sent to the negative zone
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What's worse than finding a half-naked man asleep in your bed? Him telling you there are "more like him downstairs"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
People say Trump is a rigid, incurious thinker but that's clearly not true, look at how his position on Julian Assange has evolved from calling for his execution in 2010 to saying he's more credible than the entire US intelligence community in 2017
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
"As a result, only a tiny fraction of people who were exposed to the original false story end up learning of the retractions"
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamster multipass)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Korben Dallas
source: favething.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Need to find the right diet and fitness plan? This pointless, waste of time quiz won't help a bit
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Kentucky judge says you can bribe the prosecutor to get out of a speeding ticket
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Disabled son has seizure during on-camera interview so mom uses recently legalized cannabis nasal spray to stop it. Another miracle of American democracy at work
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Map of U.S. States by recent population growth. Is your state being fled, flocked, or simply farked?
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Membership in the American "Shaker" Church drops by 33% in 2017
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Say it with me, boys and girls: President Zuckerberg
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Stand back, men, we're no match for her. She's got a used sanitary pad"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
World's oldest orca dead at 105. Enterprise seen preparing maneuver around the sun
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Charles Manson hospitalized with what is hoped to be a terminal illness
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Hell hath no fury like a woman with a 3.5 ton towing capacity"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
When moving out of an apartment, take your creepy Mandy Moore tile mosaic with you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
So that guy's service howler monkey might not be legit?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
The wedding is probably not going to happen if you beat the groom with a wooden plank over the size of the engagement ring
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
How to stop the spread of fake news: "Maybe the news should stop trying so hard to entertain." We're so boned
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Texas lawmaker never thought 'celebratory gunfire' to be reckless, dangerous and worth banning. Then, one day, it hit him
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
He once propositioned a preposition. He can split an infinitive . . . with an adverb. He is the most interesting writer on Fark, and THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread. Stay writing, my friends
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today in Hell No, It Won't Be A Thing: men's chokers
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Firefighters call fire department to put out fire in their fire station. Fire
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Millennials aren't lazy or entitled. In fact, they work so much and so hard that they're making everyone else look bad. Millennials are just the worst, right?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cafe' nook
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Trying to hide 100 heroin pills in your rectum will send you to jail, make you the butt of jokes
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
This story has it all: the bomb squad, sex toys, a day care. Help subby think of a funnier headline
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
On a hunch, man spends his life savings to purchase 4.6 acre parcel of land, now believes he's sitting atop the lost city of Trellech - Wales' largest city in the 13th century
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
On the bright side, the United States of Trump may not become the world's worst banana republic, if only because Haiti just elected an actual banana salesman as president
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New study says that it helps to sleep following a traumatic event. Finally an explanation why Democrats have been so hard to find since November
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bartender sees man drop date rape drug into date's glass, so he swaps their drinks
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Finally, the Romero Institute gets published: Microbes found on paper money
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man buys 1,000 newspapers to try and hide his DWI arrest and mugshot, fails spectacularly (w pic of mugshot)
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
'Why do we dial 911 and Europeans dial 112?' and other pressing questions that hopefully can be solved in 2017 which really should start on the fall equinox or Inauguration Day
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Sunwing airlines: Wait, you mean to tell us that we need to make sure our pilots are sober while flying? Wow, this is news to us
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
The world's fish industry might be saved by...Iowa?
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
"Monopoly, a.k.a., If I'm not the car, I'm not playing" - A breakdown of the classic game, and the long lost art of the family board game
source: blog.timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AvaxNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this passport photo pose
source: pix.avaxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
'Small' anaconda pulled out of toilet in Virginia apartment. Not a euphemism
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
The introduction of Florida's new medical marijuana law goes to Florida in a hurry, or at least in a euphoric confused saunter
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
Mother Of The Year kicks off early as woman arrested for stripping at barbershop...in front of her 4 young children. Fark: includes duckface mugshot goodness
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you're using Q-tips for anything other than building a scale model of the Stay-Puft marshmallow man, then you're doing it wrong
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
What's more disgusting than a seagull? A seagull covered in antibiotic-resistant E. coli
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Kids, there is a time and a place for dabbing. While your father gets sworn into Congress is not one of them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in West Virginia...
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Today will be the busiest day in online dating history as people look back on the holidays, think about the friends they spent time with, and think, "I'm not doing THAT again"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2017
(UPI)
 
 
 
Study predicts more extreme storms for California in the future. Bad: Floods. Good: No more drought. It's a wash
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Are you frustrated that you have to stop drinking for five minutes while you shower?
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
2017 looks like it might be trying to apologize for 2016
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Someone's been smoking in my bed," said baby bear. "And he's still here"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Indian governmental responses on recent wave of molestation ranges from "boys will be boys" to "these things do happen"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Rebecca Fergusen wants to sing "Strange Fruit" at Trump Inauguration. Государственный гимн Российской Федерации, tr. Gosudarstvenný gimn Rossijskoj Federací also under consideration
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Wanna be TotalFarked? Make me laugh and I'll sponsor the first 10 to do so
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israeli police question Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu for more than three hours in connection with a criminal probe into graft and bribery. Netanyahu denies any wrongdoing says the cops are just being Antisemitic
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Janet Jackson gives birth to child at 50. That's a long gestation
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Is Drew Curtis undead?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Let's look at the 2017 UN Human Right Council members list....Wait, this is the members list, not the violators list
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AvaxNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this out-of-place Avenger
source: pix.avaxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Well, if it's true you should spend midnight of New Year's Eve doing what you want to be doing all year, this guy apparently wants to spend 2017 incredibly intoxicated and clinging to the roof of a police cruiser
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Exactly who was the perpetrator seeking revenge against? The victim or all of humanity?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Yes it's your daily GIANT 7.2 magnitude earthquake hits Ring of Fire sparking a tsunami warning PANIC story
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Chillies destroy cancer cells, your ass
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Man tired of the wait in the ER shoots to the head of the line
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gay Star News)
 
 
 
Cambodian police hunt for three men who Photoshopped their king into gay porn: "Gay Cambodians note with a wink that the king is a style-conscious bachelor and former ballet instructor in Paris"
source: gaystarnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Me)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's in my eye
source: i.imgbox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Obesity rates went up in every country in the world, yes Somalia too. Here's the information in a handy map so you won't need to burn extra calories by reading
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Man accused of holding down and beating a woman following.... what is up with his beard?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A toddler has shot someone in the U.S. every week for the past two years. Can we lock that damn kid up already?
source: pressunion.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Megyn Kelly leaving Fox News for NBC. This is equivalent to Roland Burton Hedley III leaving Time Magazine for Newsweek on 'Doonesbury.'
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pop Quiz: When not to take selfies? A. At a tourist destination B. While out at a bar with friends C. After escaping a Brazilian prison
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Jury selection begins Wednesday in criminal trial of man whose pharmacy shipped injectable meningitis around the country in 2012
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ford to build cars in third-world county
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Two-year-old figures out way to move fallen dresser off of twin brother by himself, will be known as the smart one for the rest of their lives (with scary video)
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Woman who runs product review website gets 7 pounds of marijuana instead of the toys she ordered, immediately awards 5 stars
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Catholic priest accused of organizing orgies in rectory. Heh, heh "rectory"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today in Household Items That Will Kill You: "You are probably not cleaning your bath towel anywhere near enough, expert warns"
source: uk.style.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
CNN explains Russian election hacking with 'Fallout 4' screengrabs, hilarity ensues
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Ten dolphins rescued from Cape Cod on New Year's Day, sent back to Miami to take their beating
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
China says some factories have violated anti-smog measures. Riiiight. "Some"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hairy faced boy
source: i.huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Manhattan could get by with 78 percent fewer cabs, study finds
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man yells "fark Trump", tries to choke himself, then urinates on cop. It's a preview of Scott Baio's act for the inauguration
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Four children killed in pesticide horror" Well that's a little strong. I mean, I get that kids may not be your thing, but they're hardly pests
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So mitochondrial DNA replacement might have been a little more complicated than we thought. Don't have a cow, man, unless we implanted one
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Baggage handlers fly free on United
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Over 130 prisoners escaped and more than 60 were killed during a prison riot in Brazil sparked by fighting between rival gangs. Police say "many" of the dead were beheaded. You know, it takes real gumption to behead someone with a prison shank
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
In 2017 get ready to eat a lot of yogurts, a lot of alternative proteins, and a lot of homemade sauerkraut
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
House Republicans so dedicated to draining the swamp they're gutting Congress' independent ethics watchdog
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Two men get into a fight over a parking spot at the mall. Good thing they both have guns
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
After aerial search, police find drunk driver hiding 30 feet away from crashed car
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 02, 2017
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Bieber canyon Fjaðrárgljúfur, separating Heiði from Holt, is for sale, and no, Subby is not having a stroke
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
More than 100 dookers were led into the North Sea by bagpipes to give a small shriveled fark you to cancer
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
Scientists create Wolverine-like material that self heals. No word if they were hired by Stryker
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
This is the most ridiculous thing Florida Man has done since he lost a finger taking a selfie with that gator
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Boston Marathon bomber gets the finest federal defenders for the death penalty phase of his trial; meanwhile, your black neighbor being railroaded for a crime he didn't commit is being represented by Lionel Hutz' passed-out-drunk cousin
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shower scene
source: i.huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Honey, why do you smell like poutine and steamy hot dogs?
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Driver fingered in Tesla crash. Well, that's highly inappropriate
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australia has suffered a literal shiat storm
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for shooting and killing a donkey during an argument with his girlfriend
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The many varied flavors of Soylent, hurt Butt butthurt, and a remote-controlled underwear vehicle. Unless you're still as hung over as Don Lemon, you'll get a laugh out of the Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-25 to Sat 2016-12-31
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
The Great Omaha Gumball Theft case may have been solved
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Uniquely Utah: Charles Ellis Johnson and the Erotic Mormon Image
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
In light of recent events, photoshop 6-year-old Carrie Fisher watching her mother perform in Las Vegas in 1963
source: static.boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Ok, last time: If you shoot a gun into the air to celebrate New Year's Eve, shoot straight up and make sure you're standing directly underneath it when it comes back down to solve the problem you insisted on creating
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Your flying car is almost ready for the driveway
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Midvale man arrested after stabbing two burglars armed with bats. No word if any of them were gifted
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Dude. The proper terminology is "African American people food"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Police in New Jersey seek overweight, excessively hairy, naked man. That narrows it down
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
People are outraged the Vatican has a McDonald's
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mini Cooper driver drives poorly. Minny Driver and Bradley Cooper not involved
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where women dressed up as bats get all of my press? This town needs an enema
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Kansas Gov. Voodoo Economics proposes -- make sure you're sitting down for this -- robbing the future to cover a deficit caused by tax cuts that didn't exactly bring rainbow-shiatting unicorns
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Arctic Man)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sad polar bear
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
The prophet 'TB Joshua', renowned for predicting death of Michael Jackson, Paris ISIS attacks, disappearance of MH370, and narrow victory for Hillary Clinton, prophesies doom for Nigeria in 2017
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC couple spends $155,000 on vet bills for their puppy. "Your pet's life shouldn't have to be a financial decision"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Waiter fired for serving up a batch of lies
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The latest thing ruined by hipsters? Gaydar
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
A Texas legislator has a good idea to improve public safety. It hit him right in the head
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post (Australia))
 
 
 
It's complicated
source: huffingtonpost.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
When I die I want a bunch of inconsiderate asshats sledding over my grave. Not
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Nation (Kenya))
 
 
 
Sure, book your cheap holiday tickets with some airline called Jambojet. What's the worst that can happen? As your wife will sarcastically ask you days later when you're both still stuck on a bus. On a ferry. On your connecting flight through Mombasa
source: nation.co.ke   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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