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Sun January 01, 2017
(Vox)
 
 
 
Paris' newest subway line: $230M/km. Berlin's, $250M/km. Copenhagen, $260M. NYC: $1.7 billion and counting. This is why we can't have nice things (unless we're close friends with Andrew Cuomo)
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Something's very fishy about this McDonald's story. Also, very wormy
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Here's the worst idea of the year, and it's only one day in: "Defence and technology group QinetiQ has built 'stealth' wind turbines which barely show up on radar. The giant turbines, each 400 feet high, appear on radar systems as four feet high"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You think snakes on a plane are bad? How about scorpions on a train?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Elemental theme of massage business features earth, water and fire truck
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hot Dog)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wet mutt
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you didn't celebrate New Year's Eve with 200 other people in an elevator shaft rave, you wasted your night
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You may be feeling just about partied out today, but Scots have just begun their annual three-day national festival of drinking whiskey, setting stuff on fire and jumping in rivers
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ya know, that gag gift you got, the cell phone shaped like a gun? Not so darned funny now that you're in the middle of a police standoff
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Taipei Times)
 
 
 
Woman rescued after falling into fissure. Repeat from 2011, 2013, 2014 and 2015, although the three most recent incidents involved the same fissure. Fissure
source: taipeitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
After 100 years of construction, NYC's 2nd Avenue subway opened this morning, immediately cristened with trash and vomit
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
Lake Superior State University unveils its annual list of banned words, which includes "bigly," "fleek," and for some reason "bête noire," which was a damned fine Bryan Ferry album
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gazelle)
 
 
 
Photoshop this antelope somewhere over the rainbow
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man who forgot where he parked and spent five days looking and then gave up gets reunited with his lost vehicle--six months later
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The strange world of fake academia costs unwitting scholars and grad students untold amounts of money and time. "You just rent a hotel, make up a name and stand around while everyone is reading their papers. It's easy money"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Finally, the most pressing question in Iowa gets answered: What was the state's most popular liquor in 2016?
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Now that pot is legal in California, Hollywood officially changes its name to Hollyweed
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After she "safely fired a round in the air in an attempt to scare the robbers who were in the process of getting in their vehicle," Georgia Waffle House waitress is now "actively seeking work"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Well, SOME people will be glad when Uber goes driverless. Tag for driver
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
LA's popular holiday light display called Candy Cane Lane may go dark next year after being overrun with street vendors hawking junk. This is why we can't have nice things
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korea will soon test an ICBM, according to Kim Jong Un. Pacific Ocean put on alert, still wonders what it did to anger the Best Koreans
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
In honor of National Hangover Day, here are 10 hangover myths that are just not true
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this icy path
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: New Year's Day
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts drunk drivers say "I love 'I love this bar'"
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Aren't you supposed to close the back gate of the ferry BEFORE you start the trip?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah lawmaker wants to allow people to sue porn producers for "actual damages" from watching their products. So basically the cost of a single sock or a hairbrush
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Say hello to my little sweater
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The Titanic was brought down by a fire
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 31, 2016
(ABC)
 
 
 
So what are you doing for New Year's Eve? Will you countdown with the crowd? Who will you kiss once the clock strikes midnight? It is your New Year's Eve thread, and Happy New Year to you all
source: abc.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in London, a train station has been evacuated ... because a Tube worker burnt his dinner (Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Prison guards find out why the footballs and basketballs don't bounce
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
What's not to like about this recipe for 'wine cheese shots'? *hork*
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Well, grandma, you have been charged with shoplifting $105.00 worth of school uniforms for your grandkids. Your bail is set at $150,000.00. We'll bring you to court in a couple of months
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Stronger beers will get you drunk faster
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
One place you don't want to visit: Venice at low tide
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The crew noticed the pilot was behaving "oddly" right before takeoff - and by "oddly," they mean passed out drunk in the cockpit
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Distant Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this cyclist is pointing to
source: keadventure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
At least 35 killed in nightclub shooting in Turkey. Unclear whether this counts as a parting shot by 2016 or an early start by 2017
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Another whale has arrived in the East River, presumably to avenge the death of its cetacean counterpart
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The biggest trend in parenting this year? Chilling the f*ck out
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If you could sum up in 2016 with a single word, what would it be?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Girl may be kicked out of her family because she ate at McDonald's
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A policeman at the scene said: 'I have spoken to this male. He is OK. He has not mentioned lemon meringue pies. He is going for his train.'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Head of the British National Health Service pleads with Brits to stop drinking so much that they wind up in emergency rooms: "We're not the National Hangover Service"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Good news to help bring in the new year: There's now 'overwhelming evidence' that Planet X is going to destroy Earth in 2017
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sherpa)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snow shuffle
source: keadventure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If the puppers and doggos of 2016 don't put a smile on your face, you're probably a cat
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The origins of the New Year's Eve ball drop
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Publishers Weekly)
 
 
 
Yeah, we know the Saturday Morning Book Club is a bit late today, but we're still wading through all the new releases this year trying to pick the best books of 2016. So...want to help with your suggestions?
source: best-books.publishersweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Yeah, this is probably not a big deal, but Russia hasn't hacked into the U.S. Power Grid
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Weedman is jonesing for a new weedmobile after the police bogarted his old one
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Remember that one time when you did acid and a rainbow-colored lobster from Brier Island crawled out of a cupboard and sat on your shoulder whispering nuggets of life revelations for the next six hours? Guess what: He's real and he's been found
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aero-News Newwork)
 
 
 
Not news: NTSB to examine flight data recorder. News: from an Eastern Airlines flight. Fark: that crashed in 1985
source: aero-news.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
Creepy man banned from Starbucks for being a creep calls for creepy people to unite for creep rights and end the discrimination against creeps. For creep sake
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York chefs, nutritionists say gold leaf topping is tasteless on $2,000 pizza
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Remember back when men were men and women smoked fine cigars, we would ring in the New Year's by snorting cocaine off an escort's butt before using a sword to uncork a bottle of champagne? Now the night's all about 'cuddle parties'
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Dayton News)
 
 
 
Kid problems: can't afford a horse. Kid solutions: ride the cow and teach it to jump
source: mydaytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Yes, 2016 was a pretty crappy year. But let's not forget the 13 awesome things that happened, including advances in clean energy, the eradication of measles in North America, and the international agreement that ended the illegal trade of pangolins
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah, this is probably not a big deal, but Russia has hacked into the U.S. Power Grid. There is nothing to wor
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
"Amazon's flying warehouse idea looks like a total disaster"
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Board Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this keen cut
source: foto-sulzer.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"This guy skied off a cliff. Why the heck should he sue us?"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman bequeaths her entire estate of $1.2 million dollars to help homeless shelter pets in Tennessee, ensuring they will have a very happy new year on Caturday
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Adventures In Georgia™ (c) 2016. You are outside your business near Atlanta Highway and McFarland Parkway. A feral kitten comes out of the ravine nearby. What do you wish to do?_
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
It's winter in Canada, so that means thieves stop stealing cars and begin stealing ice-fishing shacks instead
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay if they'd put fifteen more miles behind her
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Riders on the Sky Cabin ride at Knott's Berry Farm are stuck there for at least four hours while awaiting help. Hopefully the cable holding the ride wasn't slowly fraying while the music built
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"The French were so rude to me I had to eat in American restaurants. My whole trip was ruined." Maybe they were rude because you were an entitled, whiny tourist?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 30, 2016
(BBC)
 
 
 
China announces they won't deliberately run elephants to extinction. No word on hundreds of other species
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia teen turns bible into coloring book. Twitter responds
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
You know those scratch offs you get in the mail that say you've won a prize at a dealership but are just advertising? Well, an 83-year-old has a unique solution to handling those
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
If you were still pulling for the giant comet before the upcoming inauguration, you will not want to read this
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Carrie Fisher's death will trigger the biggest personal accident insurance claim in history for Disney
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNewsource)
 
 
 
Airport noise complaints go up sharply, then drop sharply. Because of one guy. If only there was a metaphor for a situation like this
source: inewsource.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
3 Miami police officers fired for joking on social media about shooting black people, or 10x the punishment they could have expected for actually doing it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kera News)
 
 
 
Just in time for the "do your due diligence" presidency: Blue Bell requests easing of bacterial testing following deaths due to Listeria contaminated ice cream 2 years ago
source: keranews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Maryland chicks really know how to rock out with their cocks out (unfortunately SFW)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Finish this sketch
source: lh6.ggpht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Pull up your pants, run screaming from the monster gator, and send some pubes to your favorite politician - it's HuffPo's weirdest news of 2016 (possibly not safe for work images)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Republican law maker in South Carolina arrested for home-schooling his wife in front of his children
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
When the sheriff's deputies come through the door to serve arrest warrants on you, arguing while stripping naked amid your collection of methamphetamine and weed isn't going to help you
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
House for sale: 3 BR, 2.5 BA, walk-out basement, remodeled kitchen, 2-car garage with mummified body, convenient to shopping and restaurants
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Yes puppet! Yes puppet!
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Killing yourself after being arrested for indecency because you wore an assless costume and incurring millions debt to fight the charge is no way to go through--Well, I guess we agree
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Video captures ghost being a dick
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turks decide Occam's razor is not for them, go with this mess instead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
If you left your car next to the Blue Shield Building in San Diego, the police would like a word with you
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hang on to your silly hats, party poppers, and those stupid-looking sunglasses with the frames cut like the numbers "2017", those haven't looked good since 2009. It's your final Weird News Quiz of 2016
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kokomo Tribune)
 
 
 
"I've made alot of bad decisions in my life, but this one really did it," she said after admitting to murdering her children and her neighbor too for some reason
source: kokomotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flagstaff
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Artist creates robots to feed the elderly homeless. No mad-libs were harmed in the making of this headline
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Woman's pet duck named Clumsey goes missing, last seen with Donald, Goofy and a bunch of dwarves
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National)
 
 
 
Of course you want to see the winners of the annual camel beauty contest in Abu Dhabi
source: thenational.ae   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contests
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"Making whiskey ain't different than making a pot of soup"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Self-driving cars will reduce the number of viable organ donations
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
M&M's new flavor is dangerously cheesy
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
4th grade teacher: So, I had the entire class write essays about how their classmate sucks. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? Because that kid really sucks
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
19th Century manual of British "Manly Exercises" found in college archives, which urges gentlemen to move for up to 24 miles a day, and opt for a diet of lean meat, stale bread, and biscuits. Nice to see Brit cuisine hasn't changed
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Hey, free artwork. On your car. In mustard (pic)
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You remember that NYC firefighter who was attacked by a gang of thugs on Christmas Eve who stole all the presents for his family out of his car while he was on his way to a holiday party? Yeah, that never actually happened
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A peek inside an ISIS bunker, which is unsurprisingly roomier than most New York City studio apartments
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
No need to panic, the tons of fake rice found in Nigeria was actually real rice and not plastic at all. It is still poisonous though
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Virginia lawmaker proposes bill to declare porn a "public health hazard." Your hard drive is now a Superfund site
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Snowden is going to get himself kicked out of Russia. If he is lucky
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plaid clad poser
source: fashionblog.com.ua   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
You'd think a naked man would stop wandering into random homes after getting bitten by a dog in one. Then there's this guy
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Uncut)
 
 
 
Conservative columnist who often wrote scathing criticisms about gun control and mandatory firearm safety courses lets teenager handle one of his guns. If you're reading this on Fark, you probably can guess what happens next
source: usuncut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
While we all mourn the celebrity deaths of 2016, it's important to also note who didn't die: Bob Barker, George H.W. Bush, and Hugh Hefner
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What exactly is the perfect breast? Subby would have gone with "dangling in my face" but would have been wrong. Here comes the science
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Philippines President Duterte, who is serving his purpose as a leader crazier than Trump, now denies that he threw somebody off a helicopter. It was just a joke. This is why authoritarian dictators don't do comedy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Head of Chicago's police union says officers don't want to be disciplined for "hot mic" moments where they say things that might be hateful or racist. Ya don't say
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Flight simulator decides "Inflight fire onboard" scenario isn't real enough, installs actual fire upgrade
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Hunter barely survives bear attack. Bear didn't survive because, funnily enough, another hunter killed the bear and skinned it. Good times
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 29, 2016
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Brazil says the Greek ambassador is missing... a few brain cells, cause we just found him down at the Baklava shop, he forgot to charge his phone. It's so funny. Actually, he's been missing for three days
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Former PA commissioner charged with breast massaging 103-year-old woman on 3 different occasions. Everybody's got their thing, eh, commissioner?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The greatest gift of all this season is watching the guy responsible for grounding your flight get tackled by the police as he's being escorted off the plane
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Cup holder or dildo? Why not both?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un: "Nobody can stop us." Rest of the world: O_o
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So, little boy, what would you like for Christmas? A macing? Here you go. Pssssshhht
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"So...what did you get arrested for?" "Uh...I smuggled pangolin scales"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
John Connor tries to thwart Skynet by attacking some random naked guy in a biker bar
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Woman declines to give a junkie a ride in her junker, so he breaks into it and leaves a little Christmas gift behind on the floorboards
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Carrie Fisher's lesser known career of making terrible movies slightly better
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Times Square will be ringed in garbage trucks on New Year's Eve so the city can remove all the left over 2016 to the landfill as soon as it's done
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"Sexy" woman picks up men who awake to find watches missing the next day; Kidneys still intact
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A peek behind the curtain of the college application vetting process. Prepare to have your illusions shattered. Or not
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Toby Keith reportedly devastated
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Your move, Drew Curtis
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British judges slam plan to allow people to plead guilty to minor crimes online because it will put them out of a job: "Designed to save cash, it covers crimes with no victim - like fare-dodging, some traffic offences and fishing without a licence"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Alligator)
 
 
 
University of Florida student faces possible expulsion after run in with the law, transfer to Hogwarts
source: alligator.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Reviews for Veet Men's Hair Removal gel: "Most prisoners confessed within five minutes. Can recommend. Secret Police, Damascus." "I lost track of time, and the foul stench of dissolving clinkers and melting hair brought me to my senses"
source: amazon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soap dispenser
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Tapestry expert to visit NYC to verify possible Henry VIII tapestry, rescue elderly father
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Today we learn that Romans used to ward off illness with flying penis amulets, thus giving Johnson and Johnson their business model
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baynet)
 
 
 
Man reportedly worth 1.3 trillion is reduced to urinating on sidewalk, shouting at the devil. No, it's not Trump
source: thebaynet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China invites Japan to check out its awesome new aircraft carrier by doing water donuts and handbrake turns just outside Japan's territorial waters
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pan-Pan is gone-gone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russian government says new US sanctions would harm "possible cooperation" between US and Russia
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After kicking your buddy's ass to death for stealing your bong, maybe you should check for a pulse before posting his bleeding, lifeless body on Snapchat
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Surfing teen wears a shark-repelling armband device for the first time. Guess what happens next
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
That awkward moment after you push the button but you don't blow up
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Iceland has a breed of horse that boxes. Meet Rocky and Apollo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Illustrate a sports announcer cliché phrase
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Boy Scouts ban transgender scout, fearing that scout leaders would get confused about who to molest
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Charlie Hebdo staffers decide that gunfire is played out, select the Polonium poisoning option instead
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
British police seek pub burglar with man boobs. Repeat, man boobs (pics)
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Columnist collects his 30 favorite tweets of 2016. Subby's: "Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Obama unveils sanctions against Russia for election meddling, including limiting Russian operatives to three U.S. cabinet posts
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
After getting pulled over, man decides to test his theory that not all cops are bad by exiting his car while holding a rifle he's not legally allowed to possess. With predictable results
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Justia)
 
 
 
So your fiance just dumped you and you want to know who gets the ring? Here's a primer on Engagement Ring Law
source: verdict.justia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oldham Chronicle (UK))
 
 
 
Time travel room for dementia sufferers allows them to relive the nostaligic past
source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Police stop posting popular videos of trucks hitting low bridge because they reflect poorly on the town
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
President Obama declares Cliven Bundy's cows a national monument
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
If you really want a good team building exercise, let everyone be bartenders
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Trump to congratulate himself on bringing peace to Syria
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sentinel and Enterprise)
 
 
 
Man says he can't be guilty of road rage assault because he's a PETA member
source: sentinelandenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man who stabbed girlfriend to death sued by company that cleaned up the crime scene because everybody needed to see psychologists afterwards
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof, who will continue representing himself during the penalty phase of his trial, opts for the "fark it" defense strategy
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Department of Homeland Security: Bribes Welcome
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Drunken McDonald's customer demands workers play "Muslim and Hindu" music and shut the f*ck off the "Christian music." Because Christmas
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: FruitBouquets.com: $30 Credit for $15. New Year's arrangements start at $39.99, standard shipping $14.99. If the trains are traveling at 35 and 67 mph respectively, how many soccer balls does Jim save? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Unexpected benefit of legal pot: fewer traffic deaths, probably because everyone is driving at 9mph while enjoying colors they've never seen before
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Fish oil pills for pregnant moms may cut asthma risk in kids, lead to gills, creation of Inhumans
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seashell by the seashore
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Morning all, here's your very own smoothie, just some frozen berries, honey, milk, and a touch of placenta. Drink up and cheers
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Nevada leaks personal data of 11,700 future targets for Jeff Sessions
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Philippines leader offers to give helicopter rides to citizens
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedState)
 
 
 
"The suspect is childless... I repeat, childless. All playground units move in"
source: redstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
You know you're a true Canadian when you find yourself punching a snow cougar in the face outside a Tim Hortons
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Britain might not have enough salad to go around. Still plenty of roasted lamb innards and boiled pig snout for everyone
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
For those of you who've lost track this year, here is 2016's scoreboard
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Robber says he was just joking after store clerk takes his gun"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Some men fire guns to stop would-be intruders, others just firewood. Bonus: Mugshot included
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Audio
 
Just won a car on Normathon...don't need a car. Wat do?
source: austinstreet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN's hard-hitting, comprehensive coverage on stories CNN's hard-hitting, comprehensive coverage didn't cover in 2016. But there's still three days left, so we're cool, right?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 608: "Red Light, Green Light ". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 28, 2016
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
To celebrate the cluster-fark that was 2016, here is a collection of the worst red light runners of the year
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Today in Seemingly Innocent Things That Can Kill You: a noisy neighborhood
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Ach, back ye go now. We'll be havin' none o' that"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
We are halfway between Christmas and New Years. Now's the time to catch up on your sleep, read a book, and practice saying 'no.' These suggestions are much easier if you don't have to work this week
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Remember that Colorado study that showed that legalizing pot didn't lead to teenagers smoking more of it? Seems as if things are a little different in Washington. Like don't Bogart that joint, man
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
NewsFlash
 
Debbie Reynolds has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
'Faulty wing flaps' to blame for Russian air crash. Next time you fly in a Russian plane, make sure the pilot knows how to flap its wings
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Dog and pig duo befriend young cow... in Homeward Bound III: Scraping the Barrel
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Zip ties for tire chains? Oh, sure, they look cool, but will they work? Cops: NO
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hungry Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this yummy burger
source: stoutburgersandbeers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
California teens rescued after boat capsizes in Florida Keys. "Make sure your bilge works before you run five miles offshore and realize it's too late. Other than that great day on the water"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asheville Citizen-Times)
 
 
 
80-year-old twins finish hiking the Appalachian Trail, and I hope to God that's not a euphemism for something
source: citizen-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Uber driver taking you from Philadelphia to New York is feeling a little tired, and you agree to switch places to let him catch some shut-eye. This frees you to C) drive 90mph while fleeing state police until crashing the car, cackling maniacally
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
NewsFlash
 
No, there is another
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
And here we have the stylish gauze fez mug shot
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"Randy kept thinking back to the moment everything changed. He had been the skinniest kid among his friends. And then he got cut by that chicken"
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Blow up doll mistakenly reported as dead body. Fark: someone put a blow up doll out with their trash (w/pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This just in: 2017 could be better or even worse than 2016. Film at 11
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
2016 is reportedly warming up for the big finale
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Design a book cover for your autobiography
source: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police suspect Social Media in mall violence in at least nine states. Subby hopes they will get that guy before he strikes again
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
After a night of drinking, breaking into a house, holding a knife to your throat, getting arrested, and not remembering how you got there, you can take comfort in the fact that you're wearing a t-shirt with your attorney's name on it for your mugshot
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
From President Obama's pardon of Bill Cosby and Cosby's subsequent suicide, to Cam Newton's arrest for throwing the Superbowl, and Martin Shkrelli being gunned down in a drive- by, this is the year in review as told by Fake news
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
There are only a few more days left in 2016, so if your New Year's Resolution was to finally finish a novel this year, you better get cracking. Or you can hang out with the rest of us, because THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, New Year's Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"You're a mean one, Mr and Mrs Grinch." Ok, that would be "mean two," I suppose... and maybe they aren't married, so I can't call her Mrs...OK I'M HUNGOVER FROM THE HOLIDAYS, ALRIGHT? YOU COME UP WITH A FUNNIER HEADLINE
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Perhaps it is time to reassess our relevance as a society when a major concern is apparently the lack of a hummus emoji on our smartphones
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The biggest trend of 2016 was the disconnect between fantasy and reality
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cheese sandwiches served to Virgin passengers cause vomiting. Doctors immediately rule out morning sickness
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Rapper's tweet "God made me bulletproof" deleted after being shot at Waffle House
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Israel: On second thought, maybe we won't build all those new settlements. Please don't take away our tanks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
"Kentucky travelers will not be able to fly with driver's license." Well DUH. Everyone knows you need a pilot's license to fly
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
We are elephants. We attack at dawn
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You think that your worst day at work ever can't be topped? Think again: Steel bar pierces workman's scrotum
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
FLA Woman yells racial slurs, & then aims her gun's laser pointer at African Americans in McDonald's. She should have waited until January 20 when this becomes legal
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Florida is home to the loudest voices claiming the 2012 massacre of 26 children and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT never happened
source: events.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Twenty-six patients at a Dutch fertility clinic learn they may have been given the wrong sperm
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Lebanon prepares for bologna drop
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Husband saves drowning dog. Then wife saves husband who's saving the drowning dog. Then a lifeboat saves the wife who's saving the husband who's saving the drowning dog
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
A new translation is being published of the most obscene and offensive work of fiction ever written
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Goodbye to 2016
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Today's main road closure due to A) DOT, B) Accidents, Florida) Naked guy jumping on cars and intentionally beating his head on their windshields
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Cinnabon apologizes over Carrie Fisher 'best buns' tweet
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
And now the bad news - Nearly all middle-aged people are overweight, inactive or drinking way too much
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: T3 Tactical Auto Rescue Tool. Survival knife with serrated blade, hook blade, steel tip to break windows, and LED light. Not TSA approved. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this martial artist
source: evolvedmma.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you left a vibrator on a tram in Manchester, transit staff have found it. Proof of ownership may be required (not safe for work)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Was 2016 really the worst year ever? 72,000 BC doesn't think so. Or 1348
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
An unsettling number of "Hatchimals" are reported to have had defective peckers on Christmas morning
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Our national security has been based on the perception that nuclear war is unhealthy. I mean, one nuclear war could ruin 2016's entire year
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
I guess taking mom still isn't enough for the '16 reaper
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The life cycle of a gummy candy. In reverse. It's much more disturbing than you could ever imagine
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pueblo Chieftain)
 
 
 
Spend too much this Christmas? Good news: Braising can make any cheap meat cut as awesome as the expensive ones. Tag is for the author
source: chieftain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The 400lb fur seal that likes to climb on cars in Australia has been returned to the outback: "We got up and there was this great big seal on the roof of the car which is definitely not what you'd expect on Boxing Day" (pics)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
My God. Todd Starnes may have finally written an article that many Farkers will agree with
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Trump Towers evacuated after a suspicious package was discovered. Turns out a bag of toys that are not gold plated is considered suspicious in Trump's world
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Here's a headline that will surely be included in some future dystopian sci-fi montage sequence: Giant robot takes first steps
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 27, 2016
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
In Arkansas Christmas doesn't officially start until one family member pulls a knife on another
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
When a win is bad news. Browns perfect season parade has been canceled
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
What are the odds of two blind people bumping into each other and recognizing each other on the subway? Apparently pretty good
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Romania rejects leftist female Muslim prime minister with Syrian husband and ties to corruption. In related news, apparently there is alt-Right fanfic
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Richard Adams can no longer tell us about the bunnies
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Miamians pretty much indistinguishable from other Americans, report says
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sleepy bear
source: 1920x1080hdwallpapers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Thai student first to be arrested, denied bail for insulting new poopy-head King Vaginalonghorn
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Three people die and five others injured in a four-car pileup in one of New York's seven boroughs that jammed six lanes of traffic for up to two hours. And a partridge in a pear tree
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Not just high. Uber high
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"The first black box was found by a remote-controlled underwear vehicle at a depth of 17 metres, one mile from the resort of Sochi." Underwear vehicle? Did it detect skid marks?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un warns the party operatives against "whining as if falling into the idea of defeatism." I mean everywhere HE looks things are great. He has plenty to eat, nice cars, a hot wife, what is there to complain about?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The parts of America that love Duck Dynasty, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, and Pawn Stars are exactly where you would expect them to be located. Modern Family, Mythbusters, etc are almost exactly the inverse. TFA includes handy maps for comparison
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Lighthouse Edition
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Critics slam the Navy's new $475 million Gabrielle Giffords warship, saying it's too expensive and the heads all have holes in them
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man with too much time and money on his hands spends two days flying through different time zones to make December 25th last twice as long
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
6-year-old Alaskan boy: Ninjas killed my family. Need money for Kung Fu lessons
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Michelle Obama's ape-whisperer in West Virginia now has much more time on her hands to practice her 1st Amendment rights
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Little boy's teddy bear headstone removed because of a single complaint that it doesn't comply with cemetery rules
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"Canada's border guards could throw a weird and elaborate party with all they confiscated at the border in 2016. Booze, shatter, bacon, guns, porn, a horse, a small plane, and $100,000 of gold jewelry were some of the items people tried to smuggle"
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Heritage without hate, Fifth Harmony's genre switch, and peanut butter jelly crime: These are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-18 to Sat 2016-12-24
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
NewsFlash
 
Carrie Fisher has become more powerful than you can possibly imagine
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN doubles down on their 2016 efforts to rebrand as "Constantly Not News" by starting off the new year with an entire hour dedicated to the history of the band Chicago
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Oh, how neat- a balloon is landing in my yard. Hey, why is it filled with ashes?
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Today, for your listening pleasure, we perform a selection of Christmas songs. In the style of goats
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
When trying to decide the name of your new bar, generally you should avoid calling it something like 'Death,' or 'Employees Only'
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Muslim Man sentenced to one year in jail for attacking core tenet of Christianity
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bartender)
 
 
 
Brooklyn bar raises drinking age to 25 because damn kids these days
source: pressunion.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
🎶On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to meeeeee...🎶
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Baby goes on a transplant list and 40 minutes later there is a match, which is 14 years, 364 days and 20 minutes shorter than most people wait on the list
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chilling-out chap
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you're going to hijack an ambulance with a patient inside, at least use the sirens while driving through traffic
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
13 times you could blame the smell on New Jersey and not your dog
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
What ever happened with the Mosul Dam, anyway?
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Will Amazon pick up that can?
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't tase me, crew
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
A stranger on the subway offers you his seat. Do you: A) Thank him and take it, B) Refuse politely, or C) Stab him in the face?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The good news: Salt water crocodiles have made a comeback. The bad news: Salt water crocodiles have made a comeback
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Dear Sir/Madam, we are the daughters of the late Canadian Head of State who died recently. Please, we need your assistance to make this happen and please; You have absolutely nothing to lose in assisting us instead, you have so much to gain
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
The average student in Scotland graduates with £10,000 in debt. To put that in perspective, it's about what the average American student spends on textbooks for the average elective
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Halifax, NS would like to kindly remind everyone that flushable wipes aren't so knock it off
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Three post-Christmas mall food court brawls in three different states. Who knew patronizing Hot Dog on a Stick could be so perilous?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Algemeiner)
 
 
 
Now that Christmas is over let us remind our Christian Friends that Jesus and all his followers were devout Jews and the term Christian didn't come to many years later, basically today they would be those Jews with the black hats and beards
source: algemeiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 26, 2016
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Man bets coworkers that he can walk across a frozen pond. Since this is Fark, you know what happens to him
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cheetahs are RUNNING OUT OF TIME
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Some of the carry-on items the TSA confiscates at airport checkpoints can be considered pretty innocuous... then there are these
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happens to all those dead lab animals full of carcinogens and radioisotopes? Some of them go on to do experiments on New Hampshire residents
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Visual News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spectacled scientist
source: visualnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Sorry we let students dress as Nazis for that parade. Our bad"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Jaguars can go really fast, but they don't swim worth a damn
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoliceOne)
 
 
 
Ohio Police decide to save money by using stray pit bulls as canine units. This should end well
source: policeone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
Carrie Fisher in stable condition, which is a personal first for her
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Ok, so while Florida's Stand Your Ground law has been responsible for growing rates of firearm homicides, Flordia is also now known for Canadian levels of politeness. So it's a wash
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create the Rose Parade float you'd like to see
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
What to do if you're a teen that needs quick cash? Simple, just put some brown stuff in baggies and sell it as heroin
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Forget about the Chinese aircraft carrier casually passing by Taiwan, I feel the need to tweet
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Skullcandy crusher headphones. Decent Amazon reviews. Do not appear to come with monkeys. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
Brilliant Saudi Arabia intends to increase its oil revenues by using more solar power
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A look back at 2016: The year that trolled America
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Well there's one good thing that happened in 2016: Solar panels finally became cheaper than fossil fuels
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
You know you're in good company when you drop 25,000 yuan in cash on the street and good Samaritans help you pick every bit of it all up ...and deliver your dog back too
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
"I didn't even know I had a nail in my eye until we got to the hospital and then sitting in the chair, I was like 'Take a picture. Take a picture.'" (with HOLY FARK X-ray)
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Desperate to replace the Florida tag, Indiana looks to repeal a law requiring handgun owners to have a license
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Cat politely tells grown-ass man to calm the fark down on Christmas
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Angel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this double grab
source: media.cmgdigital.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Man goes to animal shelter looking to replace his kitten lost for two months, finds his missing pet .... at the animal shelter
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Seal rampages through Tasmania suburbs, probably still upset with Heidi Klum
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And the moral of this story is: Never put lit candles on your Christmas tree even if it is to impress the grandchildren
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Remember when Pope Francis banished Cardinal Burke to some obscure position where he can't do any harm? Well let's just say he's making the most of it
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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