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Sun December 18, 2016
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Frontier Airlines passengers forget to pay the "don't wait on the tarmac from 1am to 6am" and "11 hours to get your checked luggage" fees
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
How does your cult survive when its telepathic leader dies? Members of Share International are about to find out
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jordanian security forces storm castle to free tourists held by armed men. No word if they had fun
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these taco t-shirts
source: i1.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
You think holiday travel couldn't get any worse this week? Airport baggage handlers: "Challenge accepted"
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
NewsFlash
 
Zsa Zsa Gabor has had enough of 2016, heads for greener acres
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Sailor known as 'Captain Calamity' saved again by search and rescue, although this time without any prostitutes on board
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginians experiencing an epidemic of Big Pharma profit
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these odd ducks
source: booninc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Everything winds up in Winnipeg
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
No, child custody disputes don't cover dogs
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The media would like to remind you that your Christmas tree is a savage beast that will kill everything in the world that you love if you turn your back on it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Airplane skids off runway at O'Hare. Gee...wonder why?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Isaac Newton's book on mathematics and science sells for a record $3.7 million, Estate of Robert Hooke immediately sues for royalties
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Why you should buy a real Christmas tree. This message brought to you by Big Tree
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Looking for something new to be outraged about? Come on down to Jefferson National Forest in West Virginia where the proposed Mountain Valley Pipeline would cut right through the Appalachian Trail
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Rare Asian elephant born at the Chester Zoo. She's a cute little monster
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
If a tree falls on your wedding, does it make a sound
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
The origin story of the Yankee Swap which, surprisingly, is not the same as the White Elephant party
source: housewifeplus.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high flyer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Gifts from Strangers
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Ten things about Alpacas you didn't know and never really thought to ask...such as the fact their fur is fireproof, they like getting busy with llamas, and really this is just an excuse for an alpaca thread
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AgNet West)
 
 
 
Meet the brown marmorated stink bug. What a name. And what a guy. Killing them is almost as bad as letting them live, and no poison affects them. Oh, and they swarm homes and smell horribly when angry
source: agnetwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof won't use any mental health defense because he believes psychology was invented by the Jews
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 17, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Jonathan Taylor Thomas woke up Tuesday morning feeling more irrelevant than ever
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Starbucks unveils Fruitcake Frappuccino, mercifully only sells it for 4 days. Stay tuned for next year, when Starbucks will inevitably introduce its Figgy Pudding Chai Latte
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You can use Nutella as a hair dye now
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this herd
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Winter storms cause massive traffic accidents and deaths as people forget how to drive in the snow every year
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Mistakenly convicted inmate released after DNA evidence exonerates him. Tennessee offers to compensate for the 31 years spent in prison with $75.00. That's about $2.42 a year
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Voice Online (UK))
 
 
 
"The life of Aaron Burns is pretty varied. From working in recruitment by day, to whipping his clothes off for swarms of ladies by night, the male butler leads the kind of double life that most men would dream of"
source: voice-online.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Montreal puts up the ugliest Christmas tree in North America to win a bet
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police called to a shop because of a. A) Fight. B) Robbery. C) A mug that said: 'Oh bollocks it's Christmas'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Film student tricks thief into stealing his phone and then spies on him for weeks
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Little pony escapes from Tokyo pet shop Thursday night, finds happy pasture of grass to munch on before police capture him and return him to his prison
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The Japanese finally invaded the West Coast
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China says it'll return America's property
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Look, either charge them, or stop running these stupid stories
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these classic lines
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Billed as "The All-Weather Airport," Denver International Airport cancels 300 flights for seven inches of snow
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
For those of you freezing your buns off standing in line for Rogue One, here's a bit of a diversion. It's the Fark Weekly Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
As we head into the closing days of the year, 2016 gives a big FU to us all by taking someone who (one step removed) has saved countless lives over the decades. Dr. Henry Heimlich, dead at 96
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Water-Resistant Dual-USB Solar Charger. Charge your smartphone and other USB devices with a 5000mAh battery charger. I remember when solar powered calculators were impressive. Get off my lawn. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
Thursday: Six marijuana shops open in Montreal. Friday: The predictable thing happens
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Pope Francis celebrates his 80th birthday by having eight homeless people for breakfast. Also has pastries, Nutella, and orange juice
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Introducing the new Volkswagen Heron. (scheiße, was that a typo?)
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
Ice storm triggers Michael Bay film in Baltimore (with video)
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Police break into a car in an attempt to rescue frozen woman .... which turns out to be a mannequin.That's some mighty fine police work, Lou
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
In Europe, parents put their babies outside to sleep. In America parents get jailed for letting their children play outside
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
And this is what $716M in cocaine looks like
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You heard it here first: 2107 will be the year of purple foods
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
After long research, it may be that Anne Frank was terrible at hide-and-seek
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club, we ponder why every politician feels compelled to write a book. Have you ever read any of them? Any of them any good? And did it ever change your opinion or political viewpoint?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement for Santa's workshop
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Magnitude 8.0 earthquake strikes off of Papua New Guinea. Surf's up
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Two cats abandoned in a dumpster overnight when the temperature was in the single digits are now safe and warm, just in time to enjoy Caturday
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How would aliens change religion?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
♫ On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two turtle doves... and that pretty much wiped them all out... ♫
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
We'll be out of seafood by 2048 at current pace of fishing
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 16, 2016
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Fire chief: Why does the address we were dispatched to sound so familiar?
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man who was convicted of hacking into Photobucket sentenced to work there
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Four million Americans could be drinking toxic water and would never know about it. Why? Because freedom, that's why
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Denver police try to justify taking blankets and tents from homeless during sub-zero weather, and do a darned good job of it
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Midair e-cigarette fire causes e-mergency landing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Goodbye Cornwall, England, you will be hit by a killer wave that goes by the name "Bone Cruncher" tomorrow. It was nice knowing you
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these winter warriors
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Prenda Law copyright troll attorneys arrested for putting porn videos on file sharing sites and then suing people who downloaded them
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Christmas Beer Tree and you've already clicked because beer
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beachy moment
source: img13.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The McDonald's of the Philippines opens its first restaurant in Canada, serving classic breakfast items spaghetti and fried chicken
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Live Presidential news conference
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The election of Trump has raised many questions, among them: Where's the safest place on earth if nuclear war breaks out?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contest quarterfinals, Round 4: September through November
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jackson Hole News and Guide)
 
 
 
If you were skiing above the Teton Pass late yesterday afternoon and triggered an avalanche, the Wyoming State Police would like to have a word with you. Unless you're buried under the twenty feet of snow on the road, then they'll call it even
source: jhnewsandguide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
China's first aircraft carrier holds live-fire exercise. That's nothing, Russia's carrier is on fire all the time
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
If you donated a Silver Star and Purple Heart, Goodwill and your World War II hero ancestor would like you to come pick them up
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
In this episode of Poor Comprehension we find that the new 2017 Acura nSR100 is linked to autism
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Just hours after his spokesman denied that Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte had ever personally killed anyone, Duterte clarifies that yes, he so totally did: "I killed about three of them... In Davao I used to do it [kill] personally. "
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
We now have a new national hero. Not necessarily the one we need, but the one we deserve
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
There's a whipped cream shortage coming, so plan your next sexy time accordingly
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
There's cold, and then there's wet shirt freezes solid in two minutes cold
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un's YouTube channel blocked. Man, now we'll never get to see his wacky reaction videos when he executes his generals
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
How to turn basic sugar cookies into Xmas tree ornaments. Do you want ants? Because this is how you get ants
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Move over, Alex Jones; Facebook may have started a real Infowar
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
U.S. drone seized by Chinese in international waters. Trump to ask Taiwanese navy for assistance
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Organisms may be quantum machines. Your inflatable friend is still just plastic
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: pCloud Premium lifetime subscription. Android and iOS accessible. Cloud storage based in Switzerland. Hey, can you get me a bank account there too? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Brewery claims it can provide you with the perfect beer using your DNA, remarkably serves only Belgian whites
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
For 15 years we played chess with the pigeon in Turkey, but now we don't even have the chessboard. Some of you still have time to shape your future. Use it
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Now that we think about it, maybe it's not a good idea to hire rail employees who suffer from sleep apnea
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Kim Jong-il invented the hamburger and unmarried women never get pregnant' are just a couple of things that North Koreans are led to believe
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
'World Famous' Conspiracy Theorist vomits 2 litres of black liquid before he dies in Poland. If anyone could tell me who this 'world famous' conspiracy theorist actually is, that would be a good start
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Cuba wants to pay off massive debt with rum
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Pensioner pleases neighbours with his massive flashing cock". Oh, sure, but when I go flashing my massive cock at the neighbours, it's all "Megan's Law" this and "500 yards" that... UNFAIR
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
GM to test drive their new driverless cars in Detroit. No word what data will be gleaned from this other than 90% will probably be stolen
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the Amazon has its own Stonehenge which it can ship to you in less than three days
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Employees at a sex shop throw sex toys at a would-be robber to drive him away
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dismount
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you really want to stop the government from building a pipeline through your backyard just make a drawing of it and invoke copyright laws
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
I'll make my elaborate Christmas light display that looks like the America flag go dark when you pull the plug from my cold dead hands
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
What are the chances you'll observe Veganuary?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
War. War never changes.The Romans waged war to gather slaves and wealth. Spain built an empire from its lust for gold and territory. And libruls said 'happy holidays' to Bill O'Reilly. But war never changes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVO Kirksville)
 
 
 
If you plan on shooting your brother in the pelvis, have enough sense to not do it at the Green City Motel and Party Mart, because you know that story is going Green City on Fark
source: ktvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
OK, class. Who remembers the safety protocol for ricin exposure?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salisbury Journal)
 
 
 
Hey look it's a paraglider versus a massive four-prop military Airbus A400M. Let's see who soils themselves first
source: salisburyjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Want to end the opioid addiction epidemic? There's a bud for that
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Police officer shot in Mt. Vernon, WA. Suspect barricaded with hostages. This is not a repeat from a couple weeks ago
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 15, 2016
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Romans incensed at Spartan Christmas tree: "This is madness"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Let's see what Mom packed for my lunch today. EWW"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Crossing guard told to stop high-fiving school children because guidelines
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
And by the way, stop calling Hanukkah the 'Jewish Christmas'
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Authorities won't say what's in this Texas town's tap water, but do say that "boiling, freezing, filtering, and adding chlorine will not help," and advise residents not to drink, bathe in, or even touch it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Griswald)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Holiday Decorations Edition
source: telefilmaddicted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not news: People caught off guard by rare, freak snowstorm. News: They abandon their automobiles in panic. Fark: Accumulations got as high a 3"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Student's basketball moves prompted lockdown at local high school, police say
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Would-be jihadists using western paintball ranges to train for combat in Syria, provided their mom gives them their passport back
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Cause to a recent power outage in Seattle? Fish in the powerlines
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kentucky comes up with scheme to cut state's divorce rate to Catch-22
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Producers of new Russia reality show set in wilderness of Siberia say they're okay with rape, murder and cannibalism
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
114 people arrested in Polk County prostitution sweep. Well, there go my holiday plans
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
One traveler's horror story when Border Patrol agents caught her trying to re-enter the U.S. from Canada while smuggling deadly contraband--Kinder Eggs
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
'Yo, I know wrestling is fake, just like my gun' says Florida Man. Hilarity ensues
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The Washington D.C. Metro has entered the "fire everyone" phase of its rebuilding plan
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
If you're sick of Donald Trump, this new Chrome Extension shows you cats instead of his face
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two words: invisible sharks. "Until you've had an opportunity to see the telltale giveaways of anything that cryptic, that hides and camouflages itself so well, you're looking at every lump and bump thinking 'is that going to be an angel shark?"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
To the surprise of absolute nobody, China decides to arm its bases in the South China Sea
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
No one in the United States had been killed by a December lightning strike this century -- until this week
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Neighborhood built over 1800s graveyard must be great place to trick-or-treat in on Halloween
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Florida Man wounded in battle with his most dangerous foe yet, Deranged Girlfriend
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Dylann Roof found guilty, really didn't have to look that far
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"You kids take too long in the shower"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
"So, let me get this straight. You want to report a gifting, not a theft?"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Holiday Photoshop Challenge: Put this hat on someone unexpected or who just really needs to lighten up a bit
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Hey, what's the affluenza family up to lately? Oh wow
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
"Irishman dies from stubbornness, whiskey." The best obituary you will read all day
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
"Men's rights advocates are flocking to the alt-right" says writer unfamiliar with reddit
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Notorious 86-year-old jewel thief strikes (very slowly) again in Atlanta
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Petition circulating to name warship 'USS The Deplorables.' To be fair, a warship full of Klu Klux Klan members and captained by Pepe the Frog WOULD strike fear into anyone who saw it
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contest quarterfinals, Round 3: June through August
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Posh cheese festival descends into chaos as woman "elbowed in the boob"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jury in confessed racist Dylan Roof begin deliberations. For some reason it's taking more than 2 minutes. Live reactions here when announced
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Ice-cream vendor can now offer a wide choice of toppings with your ice cream. Strawberry sauce, chopped nuts, heroin, chocolate sprinkles, fla... wait, what?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Are you that basket case on the subway platform who wants to dive in front of the train all the time? This 11-year-old is offering a $2 subway platform therapy deal for you rattled, neurotic NYers
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
How plan to fix 3-mile long, I-275 bridge across Tampa Bay fell apart, as told in Legos
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
In good news for the future White House staffers who fall out of favor with Trump, Gitmo is undergoing a multimillion dollar revamp and getting a new dining hall
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
TSA confiscates huge, sad teddy bear, gives it an even more depressing backstory
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
When the cops find this guy, I wonder what he will look like when they wash off the drawn-on beard
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Britain OK's making a baby from DNA of three people. I'm pretty sure I've seen lots of videos on this
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Remember the Muslim girl that was accosted by a bunch of white guys shouting TRUMP? Turns out she was out drinking and breaking curfew and didn't want to get abused by her fundie parents...again
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Heads up, Reddit
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking. If you look to your right, you'll see the mountain I'm about to fly this farking plane into. Please remember to observe the no smoking sign. Thank you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Police corral 4 suspicious donkeys in a New Jersey town. No word on if one of them is named Dominick and wants to help out this Christmas
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Loop workers unaware the active shooter scenario was a drill, so they sent out goodbye messages to their loved ones and begin a panic
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
On today's episode of "All in the Family," woman discovers her fiance is her half brother
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
HBO threatens to sue a 13-year-old autistic girl for using the phrase "Winter Is Coming" on an art project, also considering suing Joe Biden for calling himself "Veep" and Francis Ford Coppola for ripping off The Sopranos
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Santa and the dead kid story, once true, then false, is now true again, though the verification of the story is little more than "Well, we verified pieces of the story, but we're not going to tell you what we verified, so you just have to trust us"
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Heeeeere, KittyKittyKitty
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cold couple
source: pre06.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Narrative.ly)
 
 
 
And the award for the worst people in America goes to... Sandy Hook truthers
source: narrative.ly   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The big threats in Canada: 1) polar vortex 2) polar bears 3) car-licking moose
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In the footage, Gillard then waved a pair of scissors and asked the others, 'Put in his bum?' before parting his bottom cheeks
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
What's with all the sidewalk hate?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Someone created a helpful infographic on what news sites give real news. People explaining what the maker got wrong to the right
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Mįʔti-xte-ną té-roomąkoʔsh (If you can read this you're dead)
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Aggressive bear rummaging in trash charges off duty-cop & his family, so he shoots it with his service weapon before bear flees. So there's now a hungry, aggressive bear out in La Verne, CA who's been shot
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Woman dies after falling into pool of melted chocolate. Eccentric, impish, menacing, top hat-wearing factory owner wanted for questioning
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
So it turns out all those bugs in your real Christmas trees aren't death-carrying ticks after all
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
Boobies
 
Men to sue over drug that made them grow breasts. Well, some of them do, the rest are really distracted right now
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
This is what Taiwan does to your Lamborghini Murciélago if they catch you using the wrong license plates
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Headline: Theme of Farktography Contest No. 606: "White 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 14, 2016
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
You know, at this point, it might be safer to just disassociate yourself from anything Yahoo related
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Cave glow-worms vomit long sticky urine threads to catch prey. That's all you need to know, really
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Karma? Never heard of *slip* AAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhh..... *thud*"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby is looking for dramatic music... kinda classical with an orchestra. Think 7th guest intro. Suggestions?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Teacher tells students to "have fun" writing a slave song as part of a lesson on Frederick Douglass
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
How farking cold is it in the Yukon right now? People there just broke the record for most electricity used in a day. For the third time this week
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
This just in: For the first time in three years, Cincinnati is not the sexiest city in America. In other news, Cincinnati had been voted the sexiest city in America for three years in a row
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
These are your rehab discharge papers. It's probably best not to write robbery notes on them
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
Warning: Snow globes may cause cancer if eaten
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this posing robot
source: s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte, admits to personally killing criminal suspects. Your move, Donald
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Man arrested for using passing lane on interstate highway to: A) drive drunk; B) drive without license; C) urinate ... Wait, what?
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You've just embezzled $6 million from your employer. What is your next move, hotshot? A) hightail it to the nearest country with no US extradition laws, B) wire it all to a Swiss account, or C) spend $1.34 million on in-app purchases for Game of War
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Christmas lights in Toronto have a mortal enemy in squirrels: "I believe it totally has to do with one or more squirrels who perhaps don't like Christmas"
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Man ordered to leave Six Flags over Texas because he looked too much like famous imaginary character. No, not Jesus, the other one
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
National Geographic's Nature Photographer of the Year contest has ended, and the winning entries are truly awesome (slideshow, duh)
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Uber, already ignoring Taxi regulations and permits, decides to start ignoring autonomous vehicle regulations and permits
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Mexican villagers respond to kidnappings by local drug cartel, kidnap the mother of the local crime boss, say they'll hold her till their loved ones are released. Nobody but Quentin Tarantino thinks this will end well
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You know the story about how that kid died on Santa's lap? Yeah, about that
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Asshole woman who boarded plane ahead of everyone else, without getting her ticket scanned, just to score some overhead bin space, finds out that "Boarding Group D" means "Cops drag your sorry tazed ass off the plane" (Video goodness included)
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jack Russell terrier drives mini-VW bus around hospital. Patients say he's cleaner and smells better than the average driver of a VW bus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Firefighters put on protective rubbers to catch elusive erection spider
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian term of the year is "Democracy Sausage", a traditional snack served at polling places. In the US a Democracy Hot Dog is when you vote for organic beef but get one made from lips and rectums
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dear scientists: Maybe God made Eve from Adam's penis bone. Ever think of that?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN asks: "Is 'phubbing' ruining your relationship?" Ralph Wiggum picks his nose
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Stomach turning weird traditional foods from Germany include raw pink flesh shaped like a cute hedgehog and a plate of dark and slimy Grünkohl. And by all means don't forget the Schmalz to top it off
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The government's war on Christianity escalates
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Americans who go to Cuba need to take plenty of cash with them, because they can't get more, as this writer found out the hard way
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Spain seeking to end 'Hitler hour' and move clocks off German time. Siestas and three-hour lunches are here to stay, however
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this annoyed neighbor
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
A tiny version of Hell exists in Cleveland. Surprisingly, this is not a metaphor
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Babylon Bee)
 
 
 
If you're going to use a Bible verse on your holiday card, you might want to make sure you know what it says
source: babylonbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Faith friendly movie starring Kevin Sorbo. Hang on, it gets worse. Written by Sorbo's wife. Hang on, it gets worse. "It's been likened to 'Ghost' meets 'Heaven Is for Real,' with a dash of 'God's Not Dead.'" Hang on, it gets worse. Sean Hannity is EP
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Christ, what an asshole
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Joseph doesn't want to be a single dad, say owners of nativity scene. Maybe some nice Farker can find a James statue so Joseph can have a partner
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Supreme Court rules that a man who stole $300,000 from the account of an acquaintance can be convicted of bank fraud. Unfortunately he didn't sell millions of phony mortgages and crashed the economy or he would still be a free man
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Well sure, I shot up a pizza place because I am a dumbass who reads too much fake news and really believed Hillary was running a pedophile slave ring out of its basement, but you don't have to make a federal case out of it. You just did? Oh
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently some thief out there is a fan of binary numbers
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Five Four Three Two One ZERO ... (crickets)
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Former WWE star posts Christmas tree photo, fails to crop out the porn he was watching
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Five-week old puppy saved from being a pup-sicle, upgraded to hot dog
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Why do monsters haunt Christmas folklore in Europe but not America?
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Perfect Christmas present for that person in your life that likes to plan for the future, a special cutlery set for eating bugs ....because by 2050 that's most of what we'll be eating
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
With recreational marijuana going into effect tomorrow, here's everything you MA farkers need to know about the new law. Basically, you can smoke in your own house, but you can't buy it yet or do anything remotely related to it for another 2 years
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
German tourist taught harsh lesson about New Zealand wildlife after going swimming with "grumpy seal"
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
I couldn't make it to my court appearance because I was attacked by a vulture. OK, stop laughing, it's a serious problem
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Machine learning and artificial intelligence e-learning. Natural language processing, Markov models, Cluster analysis. And the NLP picture is adorable. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a cold and snowy morning, the river was frozen, as was my dog. I left her outside when the storm rolled through. Oh well, at least I have a pupsicle. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
The traditional Nativity scene in parts of Spain includes Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men and their camels, a guy taking a dump, shepherds, various livestock, and can we go back to that one item?
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Florida court rules that police can force you to tell them your phone's passcode. Although no guarantee they won't laugh if it's 12345
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Aleppo ceasefire broken. This is not a repeat
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
British politician suggests using Reaper drones to drop humanitarian aid on Syria, even though that's impossible
source: ukdefencejournal.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Gizmodo asks the tough questions this season, such as "Why no penis bone?"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Pennsylvanian)
 
 
 
UPenn students remove William Shakespeare portrait for lacking diversity. Apparently they plan to replace it with a painting of their own 20th century writing hero: Clifton Hillegass
source: thedp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these buildings at sunset
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dutch restaurant serves My Little Pony burger made from real horse meat. Well, a lot of Bronies seem to want to eat a Pony, if their fan art is any indication
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mile high Fark party
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, my wedding day was a complete disaster after my drunken mother-in-law groped my uncle and said loudly that my husband could have done so much better than me. What should I do?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Women in St Louis are having more sex than anywhere else in the country. Further investigation may be needed
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Teen who killed herself over online bullying is still being harassed online by bullies
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
US tells Taiwan to buy more American weaponry following the increased threat from China the President Elect has instigated
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Police thoroughly investigate high school nude photo ring, reviewed the evidence over and over again, didnt want to finish early and leave justice unsatisfied
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Physicist explains how Santa can deliver so many presents in one night, squeeze down chimneys, and do it all while invisible
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Today's teens are way bigger liars than you were
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Muslims who immigrate to the United States are better educated than other Muslims worldwide as well as the average American. In other words, we were attracting their best and brightest, and they weren't taking anyone's blue collar job
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Feeling guilty over his contribution to national environmental crisis, Chinese coal mine owner builds enclosed indoor garden where citizens can live, eat, and play in smog-free wonderland
source: chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 13, 2016
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
The smog is so bad in Xi'an, China even the stone lions need to put on their smog masks to prepare for the pollution-filled winter to come
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Alan Thicke, beloved "Growing Pains" dad, dies at 69
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Much like the disappearance of MH370, CNN still unable to come to terms with not finding some Puerto Rican who killed JonBenet. Here is your 20 year followup
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Judge hasn't heard of Streisand Effect
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Senators seek to test the theory of spontaneous combustion by inviting The Donald to a prayer breakfast
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your nativity scene doesn't have dogs, a bacon Jesus and some guy's hairy ass hanging out, you've failed at Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♪ He knows when you've been sleeping / He'll bust you selling dope ♫
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
If you ask me "unconfirmed explosives" is the same as 'no explosives'
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Oh nothing, just Mount St. Helens having a few earthquakes. Like 120 in the last few days
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Man tragically paralyzed in front of fiancee at bachelor party. Also, why would you invite your fiancee to your bachelor party?
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Thieves swim out to boat house on lake, steal booze from its tiki bar. Unlike Nessie, Loch Ness Burglars look pretty real on surveillance video
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these five bald men
source: cbsnews3.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
I love studying in Trump tower with my knapsack full of knives and fireworks
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Getting plastered, plowing into two cars and asking the cops to make the DUI "go away" is no way to go through life Mr. State Liquor Board chariman
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Here's what the current U.S. cold snap looks like to NASA, from frozen monkey balls in the west to gravedigger's ass in the east
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Double coupons? Ain't nobody got time for that
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is what will kill you. It's a dumb story, but I just wanted to submit a link that would put the Ralph with his finger up his nose CNN tag on the screen more often
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
"Recidivist aggressive carpet cleaner" - rock band or defendant?
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
The executive director of the Maryland Chiefs of Police Association becomes the latest official caught up in his colleagues' own undercover prostitution sting
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
Florida Man, Florida Man, Florida Man hates Arlington Man. Shows him deez n*ts, Florida wins. Florida Man
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Tinder aims to become your next party game by launching a TV app, because nothing is more of a sad game than watching you try to hook up
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Conspiracy theory claims to know why Starbucks always spells your name wrong
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Even if the 18 needles didn't kill the guy the first time
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
The real crime here is the fact they shot this in portrait mode
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
KFC's loyalty club hacked. But no worries, if you're a member of that club you won't be around long enough for it to matter
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hockey players
source: bostonfhc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until someone ends up arrested with a bit-up scrotum
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nothing here you don't already know, except the diagram that explains why it hurts to get hit in your junk kinda looks like your junk. Click, laugh like a 5 year old, move on
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Guess how many people were ticketed for carrying the devil weed through Denver International Airport in 2016
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And today's story of a mother who didn't realize she was pregnant until a day before she gave birth comes to you from Rocky Hill, Connecticut. "I thought I was just bloated"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
The Bourne Stupidity - foiled by a butt dial
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
White wine may increase your risk of melanoma skin cancer. You should probably wear sunscreen while drinking
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contest quarterfinals, Round 2: March through May
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Milton Keynes Citizen)
 
 
 
Conspiracy theorists claim English new city Milton Keynes is the centre of a huge Illuminati secret filled with symbolism including pyramids and mythical markings which relate to the cult
source: miltonkeynes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Woman run down by Christmas parade float. That'll teach her
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fake dentist allegedly pulled teeth without anesthesia; if convicted, could face being fed to large, carnivorous alien plant
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
New test at age 3 can tell if your child will grow up to be an asshole. So you can start the beatings early, I suppose
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Texas zoo starts a gift registry for an expectant orangutan couple, since there's nothing worse than duplicate baby gifts
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Worst. Super-villain. Ever
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guinea pigs fight over carrot. Dear god, the carnage, the horror
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Tips from an IT guy on dealing with technology: "A computer isn't just a television screen with a typewriter keyboard glued to it ... It's a magic mirror that allows you to conjure your thoughts onto it." I HAVE A MAGIC MIRROR? WOO HOO
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman mods her fridge so it can dispense wine, is immediately declared 'Person of the Year'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
CNN's mobile command center sets sail on its final mission
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate develops debunking tool for labeling fake news. That's the joke
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: ActiveInbox: 3-Yr personal plan. Highly rated gmail organizer. Notes, scheduling and task lists. 1) Steal underpants. 3) Profit. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Parents of "pizzagate" gunman want you to know that their son is a loving, kind, gentle man and that you shouldn't automatically believe any news stories you read online suggesting otherwise
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inhabitat)
 
 
 
Photoshop this disposable helmet
source: assets.inhabitat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Global warming is playing reindeer games with their population
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: What were we talking about a year ago?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
When fighting with your son over rent payment, there are better forms of conflict resolution than to repeatedly pick up and drop his mobile home with your front-end loader
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
If you had "minus 39 days" as the answer to "How long will it take until President Trump's international business liabilities and conflicts of interest will be used against the United States?" step forward and claim your prize
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Semen frosting: it's not just what you get when you poke the Pillsbury Doughboy too much
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Peperony and chease
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Muslim argues for the right to wear a hijab in a drivers license photo. New civil rights fight: Pagan argues for the right to wear horns in a drivers license photo
source: hashtagmaine.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 12, 2016
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Either 100 or 6 people were killed when a church collapsed in Nigeria depending on whether you believe the eyewitnesses who saw the bodies or the government officials also responsible for issuing permits and inspecting buildings
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just another day in France - The wine, the rich food, the previously undiscovered $16 million drawing by Leonardo da Vinci
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Man proposes to girlfriend by getting biker friends to tell her cops were after him, then fakes arrest with cops' help including flashing blue lights, drawn weapons. "I appreciate the way he did it"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high Bozo
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
USSR's first nuclear-powered submarine to be launched again after it came out of order because of a plain beer cap in 1967
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Here it is, your seasonal tipping guide. Obviously servers and bartenders will get the usual 25-30 percent, but don't forget that cleaners, babysitters, hairdressers, etc. should all be getting the equivalent of one visit's cost as a holiday bonus
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One of you Farkers has been fleeing dates at expensive restaurants, leaving women with the bill. Bonus: compare her profile picture with what she looks like in real life
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Captive woman turns to UPS guy for deliverance
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Pepsi: We're trying to sell you healthier snacks, but you keep buying Cheetos
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ferrari 458 Speciale hits six London pedestrians. The driver appears to be a shaved ape in a shirt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop Sandy
source: data1.ibtimes.co.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Terminally ill boy dies in Santa's arms after being told that he was Santa's #1 elf
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Larry King's birthday, a toxic Butte Hole, and a tuna exec avoiding time in the can - These are your Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2016-12-04 to Sat 2016-12-10
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
This is your face: (◕‿◕) This is your face after 2016: ('~`;)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2016 Headline of the Year contest quarterfinals, Round 1: December through February
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Son packs up 82-year-old dad to take him to Texas, asks neighbor to clean trailer home for them. Neighbor finds dad left gas stove burner on, live grenade duct-taped to nitrocellulose in oven
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Dude takes Dead Man's Curve too fast in pickup, goes airborne, down embankment, lands on shoulder, goes airborne again, slams into golf club's iron gate, mailbox, then hits another shoulder, goes airborne 3rd time, lands in pond, then sinks. Airborne
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish dildo nativity scene to be reinstated after being pulled
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Former MLB player Jose Canseco would like to be Trump's pick to head the Federal Reserve
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Martian mVoice smartwatch. Works with Amazon Alexa, Google Now, or Siri. A smartwatch that looks like an analog watch for the Luddite wannabes among us. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horrifying sculpture
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton takes time out from running child sex ring and chopping up babies to say that fake news is an 'epidemic'
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Venezuela pulls highest-value banknote to combat crime. Fark: Each note worth two cents
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and you sure as hell don't try to claim a parking spot outside the Hell's Angels' headquarters
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
KKK Grand Dragon arrested for alleged knife fight after too much vodka and OJ. Never bring a screwdriver to a knife fight
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
♪♫ Ban the farking Christmas music, fa-la-la-la-laa la-la la-laaaaa ♫♪
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Maybe if we buy this kid his own WiiU, he will stop coming into Best Buy to play our display model
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
NHS sends English anorexia patients to Scotland, presumably to be cured by eating nothing but deep fried candy bars
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
The popular beverage Portland has most influenced is: A) Beer B) Coffee C) Tea
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Roswell flying saucer crash and Britain's Roswell alien mysteries linked by ancient Egyptian-like hieroglyphics seen on both UFOs, obviously
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Street preacher decided to preach at kids waiting in line for Santa by telling them that Santa isn't real, but Jesus totally is. One of the kids' dad decided to preach back
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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