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Sun December 11, 2016
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Governor of New York expects the Second Avenue Subway to be finished before the heat death of the universe. This is not a repeat from 1929
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man is stabbed to death while attending a party honoring a friend who was stabbed to death. A pattern is developing
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
I'm not saying it was an alien spacecraft that was caught crossing the moon's surface on December 3rd, but that was an alien spacecraft that was caught crossing the moon's surface
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you haven't seen McDonald's newest coffee cup design, goatsee it now before they pull it
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these whimsical wooden waterfowl
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
So what DO poor families buy when given extra cash? If you guessed "more alcohol and tobacco," well... you'd be wrong
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You could say the horseshoe is on the other hoof now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vampire
source: pre01.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Man breaks into religious store and steals A) gold crucifix, B) electronics, or C) pigeons. Where is your squab now?
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medford Mail Tribune)
 
 
 
Flying turkeys hitting power lines cause outages in Oregon. As god is my witness, I thought turkeys could fry
source: mailtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Once ubiquitous in public playgrounds around the United States, seesaws have largely vanished from much of the nation because of safety concerns"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
The Evil Empire may have fallen but attacks on our precious bodily fluids continue
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
New York and Miami, you need to keep an eye on the Cumbre Vieja volcano in the Canary Islands ... for it could unleash a mega-tsunami across the Atlantic and completely wipe you out. Other that that, enjoy your day
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 6 Albany)
 
 
 
Protip: When trying to steal a 58" TV from Walmart, make sure it's not during a shop-with-a-cop event. With "Yeah, I'm an idiot" mugshot goodness
source: cbs6albany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you really want to clear your head after you wake up, don't drink coffee or go for a morning jog. Instead, write three pages of your thoughts by hand in a journal
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
World's oldest flight attendant, who started when Dwight Eisenhower was president and airline tickets were only $12, still has no plans to hang up her uniform
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un's newly refurbished 3,000 room evil lair may be set to open soon for evil wannabes who want to spend the night in the 'hotel of doom'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: AirJamz bluetooth air pick & music toy. Looks like a guitar pick, let you "play" multiple instruments using accelerometer technology. Bring your air guitar fantasies into the 21st century. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Mother of the Year candidate accused of calming a baby with methadone. Apparently, she missed the memo that you're supposed to use bourbon like everyone else
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McBoatface)
 
 
 
Photoshop this motorboat
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Kid sayings
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sick Guy)
 
 
 
Deadly disease now in all 50 states. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: thesciencepost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
"Hello, Police, you won't believe this, but there's a cop who dared wear his uniform to my class, and I need you to come arrest him. Hello? Hello?"
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
"Sir, you're breaking Denver's sidewalk camping ordinance. I'm going to need to take your blankets as, uh, evidence"
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Hot new millennial trend: Setting up fake walls in apartments so you can cram four slackers in a small one-bedroom apartment
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Live from Juneau, Alaska, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music on public radio hosted by a farker (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 10, 2016
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
For the next few weeks would you avoid eating in a restaurant that only plays Christmas music?
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"When you're playing with lions, it's important to never show fear." Screaming like a little girl is apparently okay
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
19 men were killed on America's death row in 2016. Want to guess what many chose as their last meal?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Police officers who entered the Boise Airport air traffic control tower after pilots could not reach controllers by radio Nov. 19 found one controller had fallen asleep and a second one had left the tower and smelled of marijuana
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Yes a condition called 'Polar Penis' is actually a thing that attacks Antarctic explorers and leaves their nether regions in agony ....just in case you're thinking of going exploring there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ka-BOOM
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The reason why so many Americans got hooked on cigarettes? It's not the addictive quality of tobacco. It's simply the power of sugar
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're having problems finding a parking space in Cardiff these days, this guy may be part of the problem
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Thieves re-purpose mannequin challenge. Store not amused
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this otter-ly adorable pumpkin
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Istanbul to constantly topple
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Iran opens military theme park for children. Although nothing can prepare kids to deal with inhumane conditions like waiting in line for three hours in August just to ride the Teacups at Disney World
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Newspaper bemoans commenters and inquires as to their purpose. Commenters fix spelling and grammar in article. Clearly the commenters are the most important part
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Statesman)
 
 
 
How's life living the meme?
source: newstatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a picture of two smiling llamas walking down the road. Oh, and one's wearing a tie
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Protip: Treating your seriously ill child with dandelion tea, tea tree oil, oil of oregano, and a potato poultice probably won't yield the results you're looking for
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Desperate New Yorkers looking to end the drunken debauchery make last-ditch effort to sabotage SantaCon by posting flyers across the city saying the event is cancelled
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
"Trial date set for man who lives in hole." You would think that the context would make it make sense, but no
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"You are the sexiest thing I've seen, I'm going to (engage in intercourse with you)"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Number theory for winning the can opener of your dreams at the holiday Yankee swap
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"You can't find a bar in Louisville that's not going to have twenty different bourbons on the back bar. So in that sense, every bar in Louisville is a bourbon bar"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Helpful Guy)
 
 
 
A friend of the Saturday Morning Book Club has never read a science fiction novel and asked for advice on where to start. Difficulty: he liked the Twilight movies, so obviously he needs our help
source: bestsciencefictionbooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Dog says goodbye to dying owner in hospital and DAMMIT WHERE'S THAT FARKING DUSTVAC
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The only reason you don't like vegetarian food is because you're not pairing it with the correct craft beer. Duh
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soldier
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pilot of deadly balloon flight was on several drugs that should have prevented him from getting high
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MRC TV)
 
 
 
Oddly enough a boy is sent home for having his hair cut like a boy. No, really. What's next: Girls sent home for having long hair?
source: mrctv.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Boston)
 
 
 
Mac and Cheese may have used up almost all of their nine lives after somehow surviving a 10 alarm fire - that burned for 20 hours, damaging 16 buildings and leaving 125 homeless - without a scratch. Come watch their tearful reunion on Caturday
source: fox25boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Airports are bringing in therapy animals to help stressed out travelers. Your ancestors who spent months at sea in cramped boats on treacherous waters while battling scurvy hoping they lived to see America are spinning in their graves
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
It only took 26 years, unfavorable reporting, and being sued for the state of Michigan to stop trying to collect child support from a man who wasn't the child's father. Tag is for the child support agency
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Remember that film Al Gore made in 2006 that said sea levels would rise 20 feet in the next decade and hurricane activity would double? Well, he used the proceeds to buy a beachfront mansion, but private jets are expensive, so he's made a sequel
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
But wait, there's more
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
San Francisco now trying out flavor-of-the-week in the drinking water supply. This week: Beetroot Surprise
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Package thief looking out for number 1 is rewarded with number 2
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Here's how much you make while you're pooping at work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
3,000 evacuated after 'British' WWII bomb found near Paris
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Man finds dead mouse in Tim Hortons' coffee cup. Spokesman says, it's not like we charged extra, so what's the big deal?
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Secret Santa pays off $46K in layaway at PA Walmart
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sheep gets hung up in traffic (cone) on way to work in the fields
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 09, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Once upon a time, in a small village not too far from here, lived a small boy who took notes, did his homework, and scored 1089 on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Let's see if you can do better
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Strangest calls to a sex toy helpline provide surprises, shock, three potential Fark headlines (Some Not safe for work images on page)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
No, China doesn't have a problem with environmental pollution in the countrysides, just ask this 'monkey face' piglet. (Graphic)
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
22-year-old discovers his bank has given him unlimited overdraft, spends £1million on sports cars, strippers and parties. The rest he wastes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Trump: The Real Manchurian Candidate
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
NORAD prepares to track Santa Claus, though Trump will probably get Tim Allen to head it up next year
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fruit-lovin' monkey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sometimes when you've been left bloodied by bullies who attacked you with stones and an electrical plug you need the support of your local biker gang (Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you think your child is too old for Elf on the Shelf, maybe you should look into Krampus in the Corner
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Kirk Douglas turns 100, mercilessly slaughters 2016 in the arena
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
The 100 most unfortunate names in human history. It's great knowing we live in a world where Dr. James Grossweiner could one day marry a woman named Charity Beaver. Then they'd combine their last names into "Grossbeaver" for gender equality's sake
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this...car?
source: popmeh.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Fireball whiskey now comes in a box. These guys know exactly who they're selling to
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Think John Glenn was a hero? Wait until you meet his wife, Annie (link fixed)
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Sorry, drivers, but we have to ask you to stop being so nice. It's dangerous. Sorry
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Life)
 
 
 
I accidentally slept with a Trump supporter. He had a cool motorcycle, ok? You understand
source: torontolife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Samsung to remotely brick all remaining Note 7s. If you don't return it now, the next update will remotely detonate it
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Vintage News)
 
 
 
Mysterious device found all over Ancient Rome baffles everyone except Ancient Romans
source: thevintagenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
PSA: Pork is not Muslim Kyptonite
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
56% of Trump voters say they won't believe news reports that say he's lying. In other news 44% of Trump voters lie to pollsters
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Kanye West comes out of hiding, sees shadow, which means six more weeks of douchebag behavior
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A new Study finds that barely half of 30-year old are earning more than their parents were at the same age, as compared to 92% in 1970-and the number would be even worse except a lot fewer women worked back them
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Geert Wilders convicted of hate speech. Eyegore unavailable for comment
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Brian Williams complains about fake news
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Breda Valor Watch. Military-inspired, minimalist wristwatch. It's a watch. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man spends over $30,000 to look like Captain America's nemesis, The Red Skull. If he had actually ever read a comic book he would have known that for most of the Skull's history, his red face was just a cheap-ass mask
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Austria's word of the year is so long, Fark would not accept it in this headline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Arkansas court rules that two women can't be listed on a birth certificate even if they are sisters
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ceasefire in Aleppo means continual bombing apparently
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Christmas photo fail
source: 24warez.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Please excuse Parker for his absence as he was afflicted with a severe case of Hogwarts
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
17 goes into 32 one too many times
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Georgia family finds balloon sent by boy to his father in heaven as a Christmas letter. Now they need help to track him down and make his Christmas a merrier one
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Instead of going to the cops with the evidence, bar owners put security video of a customer stealing the tip jar on social media in hopes of guilting the culprit into returning the money. "We own a bar, people get a little intoxicated, stuff happens"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cow tipping. New Farkness: Wheelchair tipping
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The most Canadian case of road rage and assault you'll ever see
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
If you ever had trouble choosing the burger or burrito, your problems have been solved. Behold the burgito
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sure you walked uphill both ways to get to school, but did you ever go to school when it was bone-crushing minus 53C outside like these Siberian children?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Canada has decided to put the woman who fought segregation on the $10 bill. Hero tag for Ms. Desmond
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 08, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"The BBC was unable to verify the size of Olivio's behind"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
New app helps passengers get over their fear of flying. It's perfect for when the flight attendant refuses to give you the sixth mini-bottle of vodka
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man converts child's Power Wheels car into a 40mph death trap
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Magnitude 6.5 Quake off the Coast of California; Nearby mayor: "It was not that bad. More like a giant Footsie Wootsie"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will resort to piracy when work gets a little thin
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Cop DOESN'T shoot black guy, who actually HAS a gun, and gets fired
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Ex-Jehovah's Witness banned from every Kingdom Hall in the UK after launching a campaign of harassment against other members that included following them in the street and posting leaflets through their doors. Can't think where he got the ideas from
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
UPS does it part to help keep Portland weird by having drivers make their deliveries using electric-assist tricycles
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Grinches at MTA say SantaCon brings too much Christmas cheer
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Anyone can wreck a car. Doing it so spectacularly that they send a helicopter instead of a tow truck, that takes talent
source: truckyeah.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Russia, US close to reaching a ceasefire over Aleppo
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I got it from the BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this deluxe accommodations in the sky
source: ichef.bbci.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Heroin now kills more people than guns in America. USA USA USA
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Defense attorneys ask for mistrial Thursday morning in Dylann Roof's trial, saying witnesses' remarks that he is "evil" and belongs in the "pit of hell" were inappropriate. Judge orders trial to continue
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
No, Fisher-Price isn't selling a "Happy Hour Playset," but they should
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
What could possibly go wrong now that Artificial Intelligence has joined the hunt for aliens? (Some Not safe for work images on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Wondering what to cook this holiday season? Be it Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Years, or whichever reason you can come up with for a feast, share your festive foods for Farkers to fawn over
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you disappear with the large amount of cash your employer gave you to deposit in the bank, it's probably overkill to send your employer an email the next day informing him that you quit
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
There are certain times in life when it's essential to check an address carefully. Like when you deliver mail, when you register to vote, and when you demolish a house
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
PSA: Police do not find it funny or cool that you use a cigarette lighter that looks like a gun
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
NewsFlash
 
Godspeed, John Glenn. Screw you, 2016
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop the delivery of your mother's marital aid
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coed)
 
 
 
Either The Walking Dead isn't paying their extras enough, or Myrtle Beach has a big zombie prostitute problem
source: coed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
1,100 lb woman set to fly to India to receive weight-loss surgery, will almost definitely sit next to you on a connecting flight
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cubs win World Series. Trump wins Presidency. Now they discover dinosaurs had feathers. I have no idea what's going on in this world
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Bad: Mom discovers 11-year-old son has nude pictures on mobile phone. Fark: From 30-year-old male youth pastor at NC church
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spirits Business)
 
 
 
These are the most bizarre items left behind during last year's Christmas party season, including a prosthetic leg and a stuffed otter
source: thespiritsbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Earthquake hits off of the Solomon Islands. UPDATE: Strength downgraded to 7.8, all tsunami watches cancelled
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Are people without kids happier?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Commemorative signs to be placed at each end of the United States' longest continuous road, Route 20. So take a trip from Boston, MA to Newport, OR and hear the word "route" pronounced 37 different ways
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Bald man arrested for being head honcho of Rogaine theft ring
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
There really is no Islamic push to get rid of Peppa Pig, says the real Sheikh Shady
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
New research shows that up to 85 percent of gay people are possessed by ghosts. Fabulous ones, presumably
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Congress: You have a legal right to post a negative review without fear of retaliation by the company or person reviewed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Just in time for Trump's administration, U.S. life expectancy drops for the first time in decades. Perhaps sweet death will save you, after all
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"What an absolutely magical time to be alive. We're so excited, we plan to spend the rest of the afternoon scrolling through their Instagram and lusting over it." Is that about: A) Discovery of Bourbon trees, B) Poopless cats, C) Vegan fried chicken
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
It must suck when you're a bank robber hoping to get a catchy nickname from the cops but instead you're known as the 'Packing Pigeon Bandit' because you walk with your toes facing inwards
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Robin Williams, Tupac arrested in Arizona with 114 pounds of pot
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Paula Broadwell asks why Petreaus is on the rise again and she doesn't even get a phone call
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pope thread
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Cold Brew Coffee Maker. Self- contained, individual Japanese / Dutch style cold brew for coffee geeks. More flavors and less bitterness. Insert inappropriate "your mom" joke here. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these women grabbing hold of some major wood
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
L.A. is selling the naming rights to rail stations and rail lines. In other words, you can take the Amazon Santa Monica train to the Google station and switch over to the Pornhub valley express where pulling a train is no problem
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
It turns out cavemen didn't eat as many bronto burgers as previously thought
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Not to alarm anyone, but spiders have mastered the zigzag cross-stitch
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cop fired for eating without getting proper permission. Yet if he had shot somebody he would have gotten paid time off
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Humanity owns 30 trillion tons of stuff
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Why back in the day when we had a hunger problem on the college campus we'd go out and kill a bear for the winter
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Police say the same man broke into the same pharmacy four times in one month, using the same window to get inside. He was probably looking for his OCD medicine
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
26 things the French find weird about America. If air conditioning and three liter bottles of wine are wrong, I don't want to be right
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to be hired? Don't be a douche
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
No, 12 hours is not a good time for a half-marathon
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Having previously solved city traffic jams, China's futuristic "straddling bus" now just creates them
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 605: "Auto Detailing". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 07, 2016
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
An 0-16 parade for the Cleveland Browns is a a distinct possibility
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Worst. Gift. Ever
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Slow local news day: Man uses the same advent calendar for 47 years. You may be surprised to learn he has no children of his own, but he does rock a festive sweater
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
The "ugly Christmas sweater", cool for being anything but cool, has now crept into German culture from overseas. Germans now wonder if that does make it uncool once again. Cool first world problems
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
A reminder that cops can make Fark for good reasons: Deputy Greg Park gave the woman $140 "to make sure the power and everything stayed on for the kids"
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Today brothers will be reunited after 75 years apart, at the USS Arizona memorial. Fair winds and following seas, shipmates
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Former astronaut and senator John Glenn could be back in the cosmos soon
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
So apparently the color of your Christmas lights in NJ somehow factors in to your class in society, or at least that's what this hick in West Virginia with blinking colored lights and an inflatable Grinch says
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kid hacks McDonald's intercom to insult drive thru customers and ask if they want 'special sauce'. Most of the customers noted the service was better than usual
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when your ex impersonates you on Facebook and nearly ruins your life?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Development of new techniques makes it possible to date Australian Aboriginal rock art. But I'm married
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peterborough Telegraph)
 
 
 
Brits are being urged to check their new fivers after engraved bank notes worth as much as £50,000 were circulated in a Willie Wonka-style 'Golden Ticket' giveaway
source: peterboroughtoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Best Korea touts disaster recovery as a "miraculous victory" bringing "endless joy" to its people. Not surprisingly, not everyone agrees
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
World record 72,000 candles were placed on the same cake. The achievement was then celebrated with everyone present singing "Happy Birthday" to Larry King
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Sometimes, you just want to hit the bar after a day on the slopes. Other times, the bar hits you
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this political disagreement
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man dies of emotional distress after being forced to clean Walgreens bathroom
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
In 1955, the Kokomo city council had solved all other problems so they banned pinball machines and promptly forgotten all about it. It will soon be legal to play a Flash Gordon machine there once again
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Steve Bannon to launch Breitbart in the original German
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Here's why liberals are more likely to fall for fake news than conservatives
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
The Chief for the F-35 tester has a message: The Pentagon's answers to McCain's questions on F-35 progress are somewhere between white lies and whoppers
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
We have your drone. Don't make us come and get you
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Did Time Magazine give the President Elect of the United States devil horns?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If a cop's taser has no effect on a person trying to use a phone or tablet in a courtroom, I guess the next logical step would be to shoot him in the ass
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Quinceañera de Rubi gets 1.2 million RSVP's after local birthday invitation goes viral
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Hustler store will not be allowed to open next to Chuck E Cheese
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
United Airlines clarifies their new baggage policy - they "aren't charging a fee for overhead bin space", but rather "creating more options for customers". Like the option of paying a fee if you want overhead bin space
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Bad Santa tells a kid to lay off the burgers and fries
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Malta likes you just the way you are. Except you, Pence
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fishki.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice fisherman...and wait, what's that in the background?
source: cdn.fishki.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Before "The Far Side" -- WAY before it -- was "Krazy Kat," an absurd, Dadaist comic strip that was read by the intellectuals of its day
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Who would have ever known that illegally brewing moonshine in your basement would cause you some legal trouble
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Iran will be issuing license plates for camels
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Church serving Hispanic immigrants vandalized with swastikas, Trump campaign slogan by hooligans using sidewalk chalk because crayons too hard to use
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A pop star you've never heard of, from a band you've never heard of, flying an airline you've never heard of, dies in a fiery plane crash near a place you've never heard of
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Britain's last serving aircraft carrier has left for a Turkish scrapyard, still better than the Kuznetsov
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Minim music maker by Livid instruments. That's also the name of my Rammstein cover band. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Ukraine offers Trump a jumbo Antonov aircraft as Air Force One. Poroshenko says he likes the idea, but warns toilets are a bit tight there
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"And on down in Farkville, they farkied a lot, with gizmos and gadgets and bourbon and scotch. When along came Submitter, all sober and bitter. For he did write the most foulest of letters." THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Remember that xmas goat that burned down for the umpteenth time a week or so ago? Good news, they put a cute little re-creation of him in the square calling it his baby brother and......someone has already crashed a car into it
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Firefighters have just released a super-catchy song to stop you burning your house down while drunk
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you thought one of the four New Jersey officers charged with assault in a bar fight looked familiar, you probably recognize him from the viral video of an on-duty cop caught sleeping in his squad car
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Why go to all the trouble of a mirror or a camera on a selfie stick, when you can just get down on your hands and knees and look up women's skirts?
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Woman tells her new neighbor she moved to get away from the gheys. Neighbor responds with a fabulous Christmas light display
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Men" reveal the last thing that made them cry. Bah. Everyone knows men don't cry, they just repress their emotions until they develop a gigantic ulcer and a heavy drinking problem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Regime seizes most of Aleppo. Trump would get a briefing on this, but someone mocked him on Twitter
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Some wise guy stole the baby Jesus from a Nativity scene in Bethlehem. Pennsylvania
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gathering
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Customer: "Hey, this hat you sold me has a warning label inside about it containing chemicals that could cause cancer and birth defects." Store: "Uh, sorry, we'll remove those labels"
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Residents of South African apartment complex are terrified that a HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF NO might pop out of their toilets
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Trump named Time's Person of the Year. So there's another thing he has in common with Hitler
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
75 years ago today the dawn was shattered over Pearl Harbor and the United States was plunged into World War II
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Sofia Vergara sued by her own embryos
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Dangerous murder machine prevents rape
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Heeeeellllllllo Queeny mumster, what's foooor lunch today?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Abortion causes cancer. Here comes the science in a post-factual world
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
No special leave for you, period
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This giant car condom is the easiest way to keep your vehicle clean, look like a serial killer
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Montreal sets le trolling to le maximum
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What's dumber than the Mannequin Challenge? Being arrested for gang activity because of the Mannequin Challenge
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 06, 2016
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
U of L on probation. Can double secret probation be far behind?
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLX West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Bipolar paranoid schizophrenic alcoholic mentally handicapped man found in Florida. Next, police will try to locate sand on a beach, and then find a tree in a forest
source: wflx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
"Our research found that when subjects simulate the act of answering a phone, the banana is their preferred fruit nearly 100 percent of the time"
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How a tire manufacturer changed the way we eat
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Best Korea uses thousands of hackers to attack the South, presumably by sharing time on both 386s in the country
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
When the Robot Revolution comes, good luck shooting back at a robot that can parkour at a professional level
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kyiv Post)
 
 
 
Five Knyazhychi police officers killed in a mistaken shootout between three different police units
source: kyivpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Antarctic crack threatens scientific research station, is helluva drug
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
To Alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's-GAAK *choke*
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Clayton Co, Georgia's newest deputy may have a problem putting criminals away if it involves free throws
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Bad: Delivery driver forgets to scan your package and delivers it to wrong address. Fark: Hospital forgets to scan your baby and delivers it to the wrong booby
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Police investigating whether serial abductor was involved in other attempts, or if he just kidnapped boxes of Captain Crunch instead
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Think 2016 sucked? 2017 can't get here soon enough? Well, you might soon wish for 2016's halcyon days. Here's Bloomberg's pessimist's guide to 2017
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It takes a lot of balls to rob Pablo Escobar's hit man
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
If you drop your phone between the cars of a NJ Transit train, let it go man, it's gone
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Burger King is introducing a doughnut bun burger- amazingly not in the US
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Maryland power plant found to be the cause of faces melting off and children weeping over exploded bodies
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
If you read a lie twice, you're more likely to believe it. If you read a lie twice, you're more likely to believe it
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these nature's killing machines
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
For the Pearl Harbor attack by the Japanese to succeed, a lot of other things had to go wrong. And they did
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Woman delivers own baby in front seat of family Ford Escape which played hell with its carpets, upholstery
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Good news for members of the Electoral College that are seeking to oppose President-elect Donald Trump in violation of state law: You can now lawyer up
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Toxic Butte hole kills thousands
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eating nuts every day can reduce chances of dying early, unless you choke on a hair
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Baby Killer should not be banned from drinking and gambling because his jury was too stupid, says lawyer, who probably wonders why people hate lawyers
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Pedophile beaten to death with his own trumpet. That is not a euphemism
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Disappointed by the lack of good movies in your Netflix library? According to the company's head of content, it's kind of your fault
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"In the unlikely event the cabin loses pressure, your seat can be used as a flotation device. No, wait, that's not right... forget what I said... let me start over"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Jesus H. Christ get out of the road, there's a mysterious silver spaceship tank loaded with aliens rolling around Brooklyn
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
How car makers accidentally ended the car stereo theft epidemic
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The once grand Titanic has been sitting 3800m below the surface of the North Atlantic Ocean since 1912. But it could soon disappear completely by 2030 because of hungry proteobacteria
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump Tower real estate brokers are billing Trump's Secret Service detail as an amenity to sell shiat condos
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Who needs a medical degree when you've got weed?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Restaurant wants to ensure no one eats alone on Christmas day. Homeless and elderly eat for free
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The newest way Big Brother is watching you: your kids' toys
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this typical Russian summer gathering
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Calling Gatlinburg, TN residents "mouth-breathing, toothless, Trump-suckin' pond scum" on social media isn't nice, is not good for steady employment, and can make you an arson suspect
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Child goes WahWah when MaMa goes BlahBlah at the Wawa
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
At least you tried: Snapchat edition
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
Police officer suspended for trying to give the pizza deliverywoman some extra sausage
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What the roo was actually doing with the dog before getting punched in the face by the Australian man
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Pathetic robber hits 5 NYC banks in 3 hours, gets nothing, police say
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
First world problems. Mother complains pack of alphabet potato shapes did not contain letters needed to spell child's name
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Google has decided to stop allowing the Third Reich to complete your autofill
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Sheriff announces arrest in Joe McKnight killing, moves right on to "we're the victim here"
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Disney reveals Death Star at Epcot. While I'm glad they're finally doing something about their alligator problem, that may be going too far
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: iGloves for warmth and touchscreen capabilities. Winter is coming. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police officer charged with slapping the bunny at work. Subby can't keep up with the slang kids are using these days
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, someone has done an exhaustive study of the longest, most nonexistent war ever: The War on Christmas
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Ma'am, please stop twerking and climb down from your car. You have 15 minutes to comply
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway is going to hell, leading the parade
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Caregiver charged with murder after allowing crippled man with maggot-filled foot wound to die of infection. I'll be over here searching for something funny to say about this
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You may not like the drug raids in Rodrigo Duterte's Philippines, but you can't deny their accuracy as the police boast a 97% kill rate
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Meet the guy who is trying to bring raves to North Korea. It's been a struggle: "North Koreans can't grasp why people would pay to stand in a club listening to someone else playing pre-recorded music. Clearly ecstasy hasn't hit Pyongyang yet"
source: thump.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
America's math skills are getting worse with the country's test scores falling to levels not seen since 2006, a full 20 years ago
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Makeup set for young girls earns Worst Toy of the Year Award. Because preschoolers need insecurity-boosting, toxic cosmetics to slather on their faces
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Bishop appears to understand how biology works. Also, he's good at waxing the Bishop
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Actor who played Aemon Targaryen dies at age of 93. No word yet on whether his remains will be stored in a cask of rum or burned on a funeral pyre
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(AOL)
 
 
 
The Pentagon hid a report showing that it wasted $125 billion of taxpayer money
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Owner of warehouse in Oakland where at least 36 people died in a fire whines on Facebook about how all his stuff is destroyed
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this giant flying monkey attacking an ancient temple
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Biracial couple's home is trashed while they are away. Lots of alt-right graffiti. Probably nothing to do with our recent Presidential election and Trump's KKK-inspired cabinet selections. Just some sort of coincidence
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Well, I try my best to be just like I am but everybody wants you to be just like them. They sing while you slave and I just get bored. I ain't gonna speak at Nobel awards no more
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Joe Biden might pull up the Trans Am again in 2020. "I'm going to run in 2020. For president. And also, you know so, what the hell man, anyway"
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(The Sun)
 
 
 
See Madonna, this is how it's done (Not safe for work or pants)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Protip for "groomers": The problem with going full Brazilian is you have a higher risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection than "non-groomers." Never go full Brazilian
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just what kind of a toy car "clamps" onto your penis? (Asking for a friend)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
President Obama puts out a how-to guide for Donald Trump to ensure he doesn't wind up destroying the globe
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(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
"An employee at a local convenience store called police after a man left with creamers that he did not immediately put into the coffee he purchased"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Dammit, there's always some baby crying when I fly. I don't care if the baby was just born. Even when I get on a plane with no babies, then suddenly one appears and starts crying. I just can't catch a break. Shut up baby
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Crazy ants taking over Texas. Rational uncles nowhere to be found
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sioux leader to all the vacation protesters who've taken up residence at Standing Rock: Hey guys, it's been great and all and, really, thanks a million, but now that we won that whole decision and all could you, ya know, kinda GTFO? Thanks
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Most people don't usually accomplish a whole lot after they turn 100, but this guy managed to become the oldest criminal defendant in UK legal history
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Chinese lake squirrels become Fark squirrels by getting too fat to have sex because tourists won't stop feeding them
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
FBI warns of a terrorist threat targeting Universal Studios' Red Line Station today. L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti announces he will board the subway at that very stop. In other news, Los Angeles might be holding an off-year election
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(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Playing bumper boats at the fair can be fun. Playing it in the middle of Puget Sound with a ferry, not so much
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 05, 2016
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Did your team make it to the Motel 6 Cactus Bowl or the Camping World Independence Bowl? How about the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl or the Dollar General Bowl? These are the real names by the way
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(UPI)
 
 
 
You had me at exhaust-huffing moose
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(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Tinder has led to many love connections. This is not one of those stories
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
I will see your holiday fireplace video and raise you a Chanukah menorah candle lighting video
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Great. Now how am I going to get from Nampo to Rason?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
People do some really weird stuff with mayo in other countries
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Looking for a cozy cottage to escape to on the weekends? If you've got $3.9 million to spare, you can buy Frank Sinatra's 7.5 acre, Villa Maggio mountain estate in Palm Desert
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(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Two burglars and a rooster caught at break in location. Burglars arrested, rooster taken to station for grilling
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(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
In true Canadian tradition, after realizing that they are signatory to the Geneva Conventions, cop offers heartfelt apology for threatening to punish drunk drivers with Nickelback. Nickelback seems even worse after reading this
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
ISIS has resorted to recruiting toothless, gray-bearded geriatrics with onions on their belts who tell stories that don't go anywhere
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The man, believed to be in his 70s, paid prostitutes using profits earned from peddling alcohol to fellow residents of his assisted living home and has lost his housing subsidy. What's his Fark handle?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
PSA: Don't nag your husband to kill himself when he's the one with the gun
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(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this straw-man
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"On Tuesday at 9.05am, Halifax, the capital of the Canadian province of Nova Scotia, will hold a ceremony in a local park to mark the 100th anniversary of what at the time was the biggest man-made explosion the world had ever known"
source: theworldin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Usually when you call a wrong number you don't find yourself embroiled in a massive phone fraud scandal. Usually
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sebastian Daily)
 
 
 
Florida man plays dead so guest would leave his home. And then it gets weird
source: sebastiandaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Walter Scott's killer police officer Michael Slager walks in mistrial
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Unable to contain their disdain, San Francisco airport rolls out the comfort pig
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
'Ready To Eat' chicken recalled for being Ready For Salmonella
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Judge who asked rape victim why she didn't just keep her knees together will soon be looking for a new job
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A man has been given a 12-month suspended jail sentence, after a walker on his land was killed by. A) An electric fence. B) A dog. C) A cow
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
RCMP share 24 experiences in 24 hours on responding to impaired driving. Half of the stories involve officers overhearing "Hold my beer, I'm going to try something"
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Aleppo through a 7-year-old's eyes: "Under attack. Nowhere to go, every minute feels like death. Pray for us. Goodbye
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
'Advocates' worry that President-elect Trump may stop plans to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, remove Bill Clinton from the $3 bill
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(Today)
 
 
 
Time's Person of the Year shortlist, featuring 10 nominees, including "He's not my Person of the Year"
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(Metro)
 
 
 
A 'massive' stray goat has gone on a huge rampage through a town in Ireland, head-butting locals and jumping on cars
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Top VW executives tell the world to just send guns and money
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Driver killed in Rising Sun crash. Locals say it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
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(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
You know the weather's farked in Canada when even cop cars and snowplows can't avoid epic wipeouts on a snowy incline. (Video included)
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Semi sweet Bear bait
source: electrek.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you need a little break from things today, here's a beautiful time-lapse of heavy snow falling in Hawaii
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts State Police will use drones against careless drivers
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arch Daily)
 
 
 
A tree grows in Brooklyn, and then gets mapped and quantified and made part of the municipal budget
source: archdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Troy Record)
 
 
 
New York police plan to strengthen border security as Massachusetts legalizes marijuana
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(AccuWeather)
 
 
 
The North Pole to invade much of the US this week
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(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
UK entrepreneur creates a 'Rage Cage' where people can come and smash up household items to release their pent-up anger. Isn't that what soccer riots are for?
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(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Shinzo Abe set to become the first sitting Japanese Prime Minister to visit Pearl Harbor later this month, though, given his outspoken nationalist sentiments, it's unclear if he is visiting to express regret, or just to "spike the ball"
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
When you're a social justice warrior and a multi-tasker, you rally against the Redskins team name and the Northa Dakota pipeline at the same time
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(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Demon vandal hovers 40 feet in air to paint upside down crosses, 666 on church
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(The Local)
 
 
 
Danish doctors come out against circumcision, suggest it's a sensitive matter that should be cut off from debate
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Country singer falls off stage, breaks ribs, punctures lung, girlfriend leaves him, and dog up and dies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
NewsFlash
 
Pat McCrory steps away from Governor's race, and not just to use a binary-gendered bathroom
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Police identify suspect who fired gun in Comet Ping Pong, epicenter of Clinton-connected viral "Pizzagate" conspiracy theory in Washington, D.C.
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
BREAKING: Time traveler visits younger self at Disney World, is disgusted by her decisions
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(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Good: Millions of teens are excited to read again. Bad: They're being spoon-fed an over-simplified, thrilling fiction delivered to them via text messages
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(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Horse drawn carriage accident injures three in Kansas City. This is not a repeat from 1892
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
"It's fair to say that at this pace, the Caribbean is running out of coconuts"
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(Fark Shop)