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Sun December 04, 2016
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this All-American breakfast
source: ihop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
Police collar decapitation suspect
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Today in Australia: A kangaroo takes a man's dog hostage, so the man punches the kangaroo in the face
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
U.S. Customs shows up to seize and repatriate a treasured painting, claiming the Nazis stole in WWII. Goofus hires a team of lawyers to fight back against the Man. Gallant throws a grant farewell party and writes a letter about its time in America
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 5 Arizona)
 
 
 
Forget those eight glasses of water a day, beer is safer
source: cbs5az.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The largest pyramid in the world and you've never heard about it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Kangaroo light. Squishy, hexagonal, flexible light pillow with 24 LEDs, lithium battery charged via USB, bluetooth enabled and iOS and Android apps available. Entirely too expensive yet oddly compelling. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Remember the guy who had a bionic penis installed with a pioneering surgery recently? Well he now has FIFTY women who want him to try it out on them
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
NewsFlash
 
Standing Rock sits
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thingamajiggy
source: nrsweb5.richfx.com.edgesuite.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China promises be free of poverty and homelessness within 5 years. Whether that means helping the poor get better paying jobs, or just killing them, remains to be seen
source: english.cctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orangeburg Times and Democrat)
 
 
 
The risk of getting infected with Zika in the US is minimal. Now, West Nile Virus on the other hand
source: thetandd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reviewed.com)
 
 
 
Ever try putting cheese in a hot glue gun? Would you want to?
source: refrigerators.reviewed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Dog who escaped Florida only to end up in New Jersey probably not real impressed with the world
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Vets "worried" by dramatic rise in number of drunk pets. Your dog wants bourbon with his steak, and hold the steak
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not News: Canada Post puts up new "super mailbox", eh? Still Not News: They change the locks, eh? FARK: They accidentally lock the new keys *inside*, eh? Take off, ya hoser
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Russia has just given up on launching fighters from its floating dumpster fire in the Med
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huck Magazine)
 
 
 
Here's everything you need to know about eating roadkill. Wayyyy more than you need, actually: "This one here is badger meat. These are ram's balls - much bigger than the otter's balls, as you can see"
source: huckmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Ever see a 112-pound catfish?
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Oxford University sued for £1 million by student who didn't get an 'A.' Sixteen years ago: "Faiz Siddiqui claims he would have had a successful career as an international commercial lawyer if he'd achieved a higher grade in Modern History in 1999"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Statue of Fred Rogers unveiled in Pennsylvania hometown
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Drunk ex-postman broke into post office to steal packages. Newman has clearly fallen on hard times
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WikiHow)
 
 
 
Express your feelings about Christmas music, in Haiku
source: wikihow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Not to discourage you from getting off your butt and exercising, but chances are you are stretching wrong, lunging wrong, and crunching wrong
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Russian nesting dolls
source: lavka-podarkov.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Changing it up
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to six months in jail for uploading sexually explicit videos of a woman onto several .... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIS EYE???
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Substitute teacher arrested for duct-taping unruly middle school students to their desks. Hey, if you've ever been around middle schoolers, you'll understand why the "Hero" tag is warranted
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 03, 2016
(UPI)
 
 
 
Iron gate bearing the slogan, "Arbeit Macht Frei" stolen from the Dachau concentration camp may have been discovered in a Norway suburb. Authorities are canvassing the neighborhood asking if anyone has seen Kyle
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Prince Harry announces scholarships for training in hospitality at Buckingham Palace. Which is great for anyone looking for a career as an 18th century domestic servant
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
LAPD uses fake news about deportation to apprehend suspects, regret nothing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And in the obvious next stage of the news cycle, women's bizarre abduction story is now being referred to as an "alleged" abduction. Gee...it's almost like we've seen this story before
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
The 100 funniest moments in Facebook history. I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to Marky Zuck and the Funky Facebook Bunch
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic magician
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pocono Record)
 
 
 
Yu-Gi-Ouch
source: poconorecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Three words that prove 2016 wasn't ALL bad: cinnamon roll Peeps
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Moose that wants to be a cow won't be cowed
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Hipster Santa returns to Portland. He knows if you've been bad or good or buying fair trade coffee, but you've probably never heard of him
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hidden camera left in a forest to capture pictures of wild animals snaps a naked man high on LSD who thought he was a tiger (Not safe for work obviously)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
Man breaks into neighbor's home to pet their cat
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Crosley Limited Edition Turntable. Play music and export to Mac or Windows. For 33 1/3, 45, and 78 RPM; 7", 10", and 12" records. Are turntables a hipster thing? I thought they were Gen-X. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Blind man loses benefits after failing to respond to government letter that he couldn't read
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UK government admits what we've known all along: alcohol benefits the economy and is a net benefit for the taxpayer
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Up to 40 people expected to have perished in Oakland night club fire
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
While the city of Gatlinburg begins to allow people back in to assess the damage, set up stations for insurance and unemployment claims, one bold reporter asks the now homeless city officials why they couldn't have done more
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these futuristic space fighters
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
That firefighter whose house was set ablaze and had "Lie With Pigs, Fry Like Bacon" spray painted on the side? Turns out he did it
source: binghamtonhomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Wearing socks to bed is not only good for your health, it makes you a better lover
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
City okays payout in case where police shot and killed naked teen. Fark: To officer who killed teen
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Protip: Never write letters when you're under the influence of anesthesia
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Lawyer sues college student for bad Yelp review, asking $100,000. Judge biatch-slaps lawyer and orders him to pay $26,831 to the pro bono lawyer who defended the student. Tag is for the lawyer that sued
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Although little Johnnie's shotgun show-and-tell presentation drew a record number of police and fire officials, few stopped to congratulate him on his project
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mummified knees are Queen Nefertari's, sharp
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Priceonomics)
 
 
 
I mean, other than Farkers
source: priceonomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lawyer wants parrot that witnessed a murder to be put on the stand, as he hopes to make the caged bird sing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Different types of alcohol affect your mood, and more importantly - the severity of your hangover. Here's the proof
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flavorwire)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club is making a list and checking it twice...what is the perfect book to give as a Christmas present to that book-loving person on your list?
source: flavorwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Australia may criminalize drinking and walking
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these young fishermen
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
They said it was a million dollar wound, but the bail bondsman wasn't buying that
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Decapitated body of young man found in Merrimack River. Investigators say they will continue to Monitor the situation
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
At this often stressful time of the year, Louie and Luna want you to know that love conquers all on Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Vikings ask Trump how he'd handle the Bears
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Santa's house in the North Pole is now listed on Zillow. "Steeped in Old World charm and a toy-lover's paradise, it's nestled on 25 idyllic acres - perfect for spirited reindeer games"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman born without a vagina has surgery to create one. "I finally feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel." PHRASING
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My News LA)
 
 
 
Buzz Aldrin has become the oldest person to have reached the South Pole. Hero tag trumps Followup tag because fark you, 2016
source: mynewsla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 02, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, and for some weird reason you're still wearing pants. Well, have a drink, lose the pants, and settle in: it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Colombia plane crash survivor curled up in a fetal position before impact, which was learned after trying to deal with United Airlines customer services
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crunchyroll)
 
 
 
Domino's in Japan is dressing up their delivery scooters to look like reindeer. How long until one of them runs over a grandma?
source: crunchyroll.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Why is a marriage like a tornado in West Virginia? Eventually, someone's gonna lose a trailer
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Diplomat from fascist police state beats Mongolian rapper for wearing symbols from different fascist police state
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft isn't normal. Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft in the Himalayas really, REALLY isn't normal, but on MTOS it is
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Exeter Express & Echo)
 
 
 
Neighbours don't like having a dominatrix next door, because the noise is keeping their kids awake
source: exeterexpressandecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Hitting your boyfriend in the face with a squid in front of the bagel shop might not be normal where you're from, but this...is...FLORIDA
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Flying sharks spotted off the coast of Australia because of course that's where flying sharks would live
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Waco pimp gets 12 life sentences. Says he should have just played chess
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Best Korea puts on display of firepower against its sworn enemy the Pacific Ocean as it vows revenge for UN sanctions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
I bet your favorite bar doesn't hold cockfights in the basement
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chandelier
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Pastor says car salesman swiped wife's nude photos from his iPhone, sent them to swingers' site
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It's time for the annual story letting us all know that yes, it snows at the top of mountains. Even in Hawaii. Someone should write a book about lazy journalists writing not-news stories
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Angry mom yells at Cloud
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Stephen Hawking complains people sit too much
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sucks)
 
 
 
Vincent Price named new president of Duke University, will serve for the funk of forty thousand years
source: today.duke.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Man says he set wildfires in NC because he was 'bored'
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Inflate your chicken to 20psi before cooking for best effect
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Guy who has had nothing but bad luck since hitting Powerball just had his house burn down
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chickens in Colorado have begun playing musical instruments. Didn't the Book of Revelation cover this?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tim and his friend with the big bow
source: electrongate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
1000-year-old Viking toolbox found. Sears Craftsman warranty still valid
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Dear prospective landlords: You're not supposed to enter a tenant's apartment without permission. You're especially not supposed to have sex on their beds while they're at work. And cleaning up the mess with the tenant's wedding dress is right out
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sad that your Uber ride is over? Don't worry, they're still tracking you even after you get out of the car
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Xinhua)
 
 
 
Russia fears that its banking system is under threat by global hackers who could exploit code in the country's 286- and XT-based financial network
source: news.xinhuanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Magnetic "scientific, thinking" (space?) putty. Silly putty for geeks. What's the magnetic equivalent of copying the comic strip onto your silly putty?? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Latest Harry Potter movie accused of being 'Anti-American,' proving the J.K. Rowling is not alone in having a wonderful imagination
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Michigan AG files suit to stop vote recount because it's expensive and really difficult and stuff. Kinda like fixing Flint's water problem
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Re: that sneaking suspicion someone went through your bags at the airport: They did, and they got paid handsomely for it
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Inventor of General Tso's Chicken dies at age 98. in lieu of funeral, body to be lightly breaded, deep-fried then served up with rice and egg roll (or substitute wings if you like)
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here are some lonely cars in New York City in the 1970s
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
White House announces support for registering women for the draft. I wouldn't worry, though, the next occupant probably won't get us in any wars or anything
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Apparently you can shoot people multiple times, kill them while shouting, "I told you not to fark with me" in a road rage incident and walk away without charges being filed, even if there are eyewitnesses
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Whoville set ablaze by cigarette. Police warn people to be on the lookout for a green man in a Santa costume, ask that if they see him to not touch him, even with a thirty nine-and-a-half-foot pole
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Armed snowman decoration has a warning for thieves
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Chronicle)
 
 
 
"Looking after a newborn is like taking charge of a tiny, semi-comatose alcoholic"
source: thejc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Rancher will not kill P-45 because P-45 is the cutest kitty in Southern California. And the best known, what with making the front page every day now
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's not a cop party until an Assistant Chief Constable whips one out and screams 'Look at these, look at these, these are the breasts of someone who has had three children' at one of her subordinates who just had a boob job
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Someone finally decided to peek inside an SUV covered in parking tickets. That's when they saw the corpse
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
By firing off purchase attempts to multiple online stores simultaneously, hackers can correctly guess your credit card number, CVV and expiration date in 6 seconds
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Michigan water authority considering allowing Nestlé to double the amount of groundwater it extracts - just a few miles from Flint - to bottle and sell for profit. Cost to Nestlé? $200
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man who is attempting to be the first to swim across the Atlantic Ocean has only gone 67 nautical miles in 3 weeks. Which means at the current rate he will not arrive until early 2018
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this chair and its occupant into some more exciting surroundings
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New LED lights unveiled at Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls? Slowly I turn... step by step... inch by inch
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
One of the major reasons Amazon has become a retail juggernaut? The $760 million in taxpayer money the government has used to subsidize it since 2005. Don't you love holding the free market's invisible hand?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man shoots home intruder, who should be thankful that he doesn't have to read this article
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
FAA to Dreamliner pilots - "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
By now, we all know the Internet Archive wants to back itself up in Canada. Here's why
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here is why Americans are broke and obese. Now who wants to eat out tonight?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You're fatter than you think you are
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Fire & Rescue plays Pokémon Go, finds real-life Blastoise
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
This grandma wanted to make sure everybody ate a lot of food on Thanksgiving
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
One time Fidel wanted me to get him some Viagra. "Why?" I asked. "For my Cuban missile crisis," he said. Then we laughed for twenty minutes straight
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
♫ The Love Boat, polluting the ocean, covering it up ♫
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Man driving 115 MPH on Route 6 in Rhode Island, while live streaming to Facebook Live, ends the way you'd expect it would
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaskan city spends all summer developing a way to help the homeless. Just kidding, they spent all summer making an app for people to call in police raids on homeless camps
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Maids-a-milking did not get a raise this year
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 01, 2016
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
Victoria's Secret accused of featuring 'racist lingerie' in fashion show, as paying hundreds of dollars for dental floss tied in knots is cultural appropriation (Not safe for work)
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
UNESCO declares Belgian beer culture a treasure of humanity. Admiral Ackbar declares, "It's a Trappist"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
A new kind of low: Stealing the Salvation Army kettle and leaving in a $70,000 SUV
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Now that marijuana is legal in my state can I come to work stoned? The short answer is: NO. The long answer is: NOOO WAAAAAY, DUDE
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago police hold gun-buying sting, discover criminals bring guns to gun buying stings
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illawara Mercury (Australia))
 
 
 
Jesus-thieving three admit Wollongong mall nativity heist. Try saying THAT three times fast
source: illawarramercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Concrete statue of Jeebus survives Tennessee wildfires, so OF COURSE it's a miracle
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In the weeks leading up to Christmas, two slightly grumpy alpacas join eight others on guard duty - protecting 24,000 free-range turkeys from being attacked by foxes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Alleged criminal masterminds with 300 stolen purses in their possession are captured because they forgot to turn off Find my iPhone
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Government Executive)
 
 
 
For $1 million, you can get intimate with Mike Pence
source: govexec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
France has decided Sausage Party is suitable for 12 year olds. Naturally some people have a problem with this
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Someone took Walmart's Black Friday door buster ad a little too litterally
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Guy who created 7000 false identities and performed $200 million in credit card fraud sentenced to.... two years?
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle home prices have risen 12% since last year, because it's not a bubble if you can't pop the damn thing
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If you lost an elephant around 10,000 years ago, Los Angeles Metro would like a word with you
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Make-A-Wish foundation: What is your wish? Kid with cancer: I want to blow stuff up. Make-A-Wish foundation: We can do that
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The owner of the world's oldest cat fears he may have relinquished his title
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
And the state with the worst drivers is
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Guy says woman's meth sentence is "idiotic" and "grossly unfair." The guy is not her dealer, he's the judge who sentenced her
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Actual headline: What do you call that feeling when you see something cute? c) Ugly Ass
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Finish this sketch
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
In today's mugshot lineup: Inmate gives the cops the bird
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Beaver dam does what a beaver dam does and floods a road. It helps the road was sinking anyway but we'll blame the beavers. Bonus beavers behaving badly trifecta in blay
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
In most countries it would be cool to make your daughter pass a gruelling obstacle course in your back garden. But this is America, so it's fine
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Good news people of San Francisco, you can now pee on the sidewalks anywhere in the city
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
All you sperm donors can breathe a sigh of relief now. Well, a second sigh of relief
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Law student prevented from attending classes because her skirt was too short (SFW pics, you decide)
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Teen sets house on fire over boyfriend 'beef,' showing once again the dangers of bovine husbandry
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Facebook: The Brawndo of political journalism
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Clown of Aleppo killed by air strike. Begun, the clown wars have
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
89-year-old veteran posts ad looking for job to save him "dying of boredom"
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona's welfare director fired. He leaves behind 80,000 rounds of ammo and 50 handguns in the office basement. "These jihadists in San Bernardino attacked a social service center for the developmentally disabled. They will go anywhere,"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Specialized items are always available for aspiring cooks and seasoned chefs alike. Ever buy something that you soon wish you could have a do-over on? Help your fellow Farkers avoid costly/space-wasting mistakes
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists at The Daily Mail use an eye tracking device to determine which stereotype women prefer. A) Muscular Man B) Hipster Man C) Boyish Man
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Andrei, you've lost another cargo ship headed to the ISS?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
While many corporations are pulling their ads from Brietbart News after increased media scrutiny of the site and its CEO's white nationalist ties, Nissan has announced it is staying. Said their spokesman: Did you forget which side we were on in WWII?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Don't *baaaaa* tase me, bro
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why Evengelicals fight science so much? Could it be they fear what would happen if aliens would truly be discovered? Or maybe they would just say that aliens are "dragons" just as they do with dinosaurs
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
2010: Nobody beaten by Toronto police during protests. 2016: Nobody allowed to proceed with lawsuit against police. Bonus video of police beating Nobody
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bouncing bird
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The latest casualty on The War against Christmas: The candy cane
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Diamonds grown in a lab are now indistinguishable from mined diamonds. Although the value of your mined diamond is enhanced by the mystical cachet of child labor, illicit arms deals, and African genocide, so there is that to consider
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In a rare case of Australia not trying to kill people, a group of 17-year-olds spend $20 to synthesize the key ingredient for $110,000 worth of Daraprim just to prove Pharma Bro is a giant douche
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Eighth-grader bags monster bull elk, sets Nebraska state record
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Japan may legalize gambling and casinos because why not
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Texas man jailed for using Twitter to harass others. That kind of behavior could get him sentenced to four years as President of the United States
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A look at Vagisil's new ad, which features four dry-vagina'd cartoon women in a dry-as-their-vaginas desert commiserating about how dry their vaginas are. Vagina
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Amazon up 29% from last year Oh... in deforestation, I suppose those boxes have to come from somewhere
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Los Angeles to bury hundreds of unclaimed dead. Don't open
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
85 languages are spoken by the children at Buffalo, NY public schools. Kids can now learn 85 different ways to say "When is it ever going to stop snowing?"
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
In Ohio it will soon become illegal to have sex with animals. In related news, for the time being, it is still legal to have sex with animals in Ohio
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Limerick Leader)
 
 
 
There once were two idiots from Limerick, who said "Hold my Guinness and watch this trick"
source: limerickleader.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Austria bans people from smoking in their own homes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Beaver walks into a store and trashes the place. Wally, being the older brother, will probably get the blame
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon's legal pot sales are coming to a halt because of testing for pesticides. "People are saying this is totally unfair. That's actually completely wrong. These things are expected of any industry where people are putting things in their mouth"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Sheriff explains 497 misses out of 500 shots fired by claiming they didn't want to kill the suspect
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A young couple were left stunned after council workers seized their doormat claiming it was a health and safety risk and then demanded £40 for its return" (w/ pic of doormat)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1955, a lady refuses to give up her seat in a bus and the whole country notices
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Halo Board and Halo Board Extreme. Battery-powered, self-balancing skateboard with bluetooth, LEDs, and 156 point safety inspection. Excellent upgrade from bipedal locomotion. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The MLB All-Star Game is rumored to have become a meaningless game again
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Mall of America hires a black Santa and somehow this is news. Thanks, Trump
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Buzz Aldrin medically evacuated from the South Pole
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Scientists baffled by world's best preserved mummy which is still soft to the touch even after 2,100 years (Not for the squeamish)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Climate Depot)
 
 
 
How did you like that mild Autumn? Good. Now get ready for record low temperatures across "almost entire USA"
source: climatedepot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop Ingredient: This simple blank key
source: clipartbest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Your Periodic Table is now obsolete, as 4 new elements are officially given names and locations
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The internet's answer Breitbart's boycott of Kellogg's cereal. Honey Nut Gestapos, anyone?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
High on the list of things you don't want to hear from an air traffic controller: "I'm not sure what heading to turn you onto"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Hippo attacks truck, driver has only appropriate reaction (not safe for work language)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
'Most famous gun in French history' sold for $460K. To be fair, it was actually fired and never dropped
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
College students probably weren't going to fork over their beer money anyway, but nice try, computer kidnappers
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
Today's mass shooting is brought to you by Baltimore, where a lone gunman has killed 2 and injured 4 others
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Poet calls out Americans' addiction to technology. Although no one would ever know that he wrote the poem if he hadn't made a digital video and posted it online
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Tacoma police officer killed responding to domestic violence call. Suspect barricaded and standoff currently underway
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Parallel parking and diagonal parking are for amateurs. Try vertical parking
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 604: "Barking Up the Wrong Tree". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 30, 2016
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Hipster fathers are deathly afraid of their kids calling them Dad like some suburban Saved-by-the-Bell-type doofus, ask that they be referred to as "Papa" for that authoritative, old-timey, yet alternative flair
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Bad: Destructive wildfires in the South. Good: They finally get rain. Bad: Along with deadly floods and tornadoes
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What do you mean "the nonexistent one?" Dad, I'm right here
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
OPEC tries very hard to put the genie back into the bottle
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Getting dubbed the "best looking couple in Britain" on social media still only means you're British good looking
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Next year when you notice that all the world leaders have suddenly disapppeared, you should know they're probably hiding out in bunkers to escape the doom of the gigantic Nibiru apocalypse
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australian man loses game of "breast implant or jellyfish"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
FBI declares possible explosive device safe after officials, responding to illegal burn in backyard, found missile lying next to fire. "I'm just glad they got it gone"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FL Keys News)
 
 
 
At clothing-optional bar, keep your hands to yourself
source: flkeysnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Get a bad grade in school? That's a dousing with gasoline
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
With the slump in oil prices, Saudi Arabia needs an actual functioning economy and wonders if maybe locking half the population out of the workforce might be a bad idea
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Coming soon to a toy store near you - Breastfeeding Barbie (sfw)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slippery slope
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Huffing gasoline was better when it had lead in it
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You know you've had a little too much fun drinking when you wake up in the morgue
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
You know Christmas is coming when even armed robbers wish you "Happy Holidays" after holding store up, taking your cash
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Former gay porn actor who secretly converted to Islam arrested for planning terrorist attacks, which are generally frowned upon when you work for a German spy agency
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Oh nothing, just a video of driving through a tunnel of fire in the Smoky Mountains Complete with not-safe-for-work commentary
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today's (and yesterday's) Fark-ready headline: Canadian cops to punish drunk drivers with Nickelback tunes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
When cow farts are outlawed, only outlaws will have farting cows
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Special needs student in PA shows how differently that showdown between Bender and the principal in "The Breakfast Club" would have gone if iPhones had existed back then
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Astronauts hear mysterious knocking sound on space craft. William Shatner and John Lithgow urge examination of wings
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Meet the guy in the cowboy hat and white beard who held up a sign of unity outside of a mosque in Irving, TX
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Ants exchange messages when they make out. Scientists still not sure when it comes to uncles
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Minimum wage protest ends with 23 arrests. Man, you never see people getting arrested when the rich are protesting their money
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Victorville Daily Press)
 
 
 
Authorities need your help finding guys who fled with $400 in merchandise from Radio Shack. In other news, Radio Shack is still around & you can outrun clerks for $400 off your Holiday gift budget
source: vvdailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cool place to be
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The second-most-popular boy's name in Britain is now. A) Harry. B) Nigel. C) Mohammed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Man finds out why it's a bad idea to drink alcohol before calling up a former Indian chief so he can share his thoughts on fur trapping
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hey you know, since we're already scraping the bottom of the barrel for Trump's cabinet picks, why don't we just go all in and bring Dan Quayle back to relevance, that'd be hilari-No. he DID? Really? Sonuvfa-
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Father of the Year tries to drop off child-support payment at McDonald's drive-through window, becomes enraged when ex won't come to window, crawls through said window, beats her
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
So what SHOULD you do if you find human remains? Besides posting selfie pics, I mean
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
No charges filed in shooting of Keith Scott in Charlotte NC, District attorney determines officer acted lawfully
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Lack of sleep may be costing the US GDP more than $400 billion annually. But how much internet misinformation is this preventing?
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Your one chance to solve a case that's stumped the FBI for decades, right here
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Bicyclist dies of embarrassment after hitting box turtle. Darwin puts bicyclist in this year's top ten list. Trump's on the list because of his hair. So, now the hair and the tortoise are on the list. Smooth, subby, smooth
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Bangor Daily says get ready for 12 inches tonight
source: waitfiveminutes.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Today in injustice: Ceaselessly whistling "Closing Time" is not actually illegal
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Tomorrow, 12/1/16, the FBI will be able to hack millions of computers with the sign-off from just one judge. And they can hack your computer even if you've done nothing wrong
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Cow tipping prank results in multiple fatalities
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Big Mac creator dead at 98, which means he outlived the average Big Mac eater by decades
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Reply All: "STOP HITTING REPLY ALL" -Send-
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Try Loot Crate without a subscription, shipping included. Because you can never have enough geek t-shirts. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan admits that its defense forces may have been hacked. Which will teach them NOT to make their secret password: 一 二 三 四
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you're a mother cat, there is nothing more relaxing than taking a break inside a crate full of baby chicks
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In today's unworkable plan to restrict personal choice, Britain's Health Secretary proposes ban on sexting for under 18s
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a long and dark November, when I thought that I'd remember, all the reasons why I wrote before. When at last, again, I write. What horror and fright. Turns out I've written all this before. THIS is your Fark Writers Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mayor and his mayorjuana
source: assets.nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
#1 with racists -- you know, the guys who can't even spray paint a swastika correctly
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It turns out we've been looking for aliens in all the wrong places. They're not up in space, they're down in one of earth's gigantic underground oceans
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
20 machinists needed for immediate openings in Nashville, TN
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Grandmothers settle custody battle Texas style
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PEEP, Bork, Bork, Bork
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Phillip Morris CEO: Yeah, we can quit cigarettes. For real, this time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Amazon drone falls to earth
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Coming just in time for Christmas 2017: the cheese advent calendar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You may not be able to write like Hunter S. Thompson or live the gonzo life, but you may be able to smoke his actual brand of weed his wife saved
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 29, 2016
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bank of England urged to make new £5 note vegan-friendly
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Security camera catches woman vandalizing car for a full six hours. Now THAT'S dedication
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
I kind of want to date a girl that steals a Magic Mike DVD, batteries, and a hard salami from Walmart. I'm just saying
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Giant Swedish Christmas goat set on fire for the 35th time in 50 years
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Smartphone use replacing money, sex, and kids as leading cause of relationship-ending arguments
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
For first time, Miss Minnesota USA pageant has fully-clothed contestant participate. So everyone else was naked before? I get all chilly thinking about it myself
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
European engineers have finally completed their massive cover-up of Chernobyl. 36,000 tons
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Pinheads in Florida government may be forced to deal with budget deficit due to Zika virus. Wait, that came out wrong
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Charlie Sheen seen on the Potomac
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Amsterdam is OVER. All the cool hipsters are hanging out in Rotterdam
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The official how-to-guide for receiving a real letter from an imaginary person postmarked from a non-existent location
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Cops put up trail cameras to catch mountain lion. They didn't expect the gorilla
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this queen of the desert
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
McDonald's is now testing the use of fresh beef in some burgers. As opposed to whatever the hell they've been putting in them so far, apparently
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Austrian collector claims to have nude pictures of Eva Braun frolicking with the kangaroos outside Adolf's summer home (not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
San Francisco's Millennium Tower is now more like 994 Tower
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lafayette Journal & Courier)
 
 
 
Def Leppard drummer wanted in connection with a robbery
source: jconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
There are crappy landlords, and then there are landlords who refuse to fix the lake of raw sewage in your yard
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you're looking for more realistic Christmas Cards this year, you can get The Three Wise Men and the Drone Strike or Joseph and Mary fleeing Aleppo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Millennials aren't going to save us. Rorschach nods approvingly
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Fight between two women turns parking lot into demolition derby. Wait, wasn't this a Malcolm in the Middle episode?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Silhouette Edition
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man wins Vincent Van Gogh lookalike contest. I SAID MAN WINS VINCENT VAN GOGH LOOKALIKE CONTEST
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Ark Encounter to soon feature historical recreation of Roman gladiators fighting dinosaurs in the arena. This is all in the Bible if you look closely, and is in no way a cross-promotion stunt with Ark: Survival Evolved
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
As Jesus said, Let he who has not faked his own kidnapping after a drug-fueled binge with transgender prostitutes cast the first stone
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
PEI police to impose stricter punishment on drunk drivers by subjecting them to endless Nickelback while detained
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Mini monkeys found safe after abduction. Tiny Mike Nesmith says everything's fine
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you know someone who was murdered, currently driving on Kirkman Road, the Orlando police are following you right now
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Out of my way, peasants; I don't have to wait for offboarding like the rest of you lowlifes
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Today in the annals of "what sane human would consider this a good idea?" - a man biking along the handrail of a 650-foot tall dam
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Someone has been sleeping in my bed, said baby bear, and he's still here...and naked
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Local school board adds "drugs" to its standardized testing regimen
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Attending church and being surrounded by religious believers is just as addictive as heroin, claims neuroscientist
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Asus Eeebook X205TA Windows 8.1 Notebook - Refurbished - $149.99. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Great. Now there will be a moon base gap
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Smokyland Motel lives up to its name in this photo in an article about wildfires in Tennessee
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create the flag of your own nation
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
First he makes you wait 5-7 seconds at a stop sign, then he flips you the bird when you honk at him. Good thing you have that .45 under the seat of the Audi you stole, isn't it, son? With mugshot of the year contender
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Famed internet blogger Casey Neistat gets bought out by CNN for $25 million in an attempt to bring "authenticity" to CNN
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Tasmanian whisky flies off shelves after being named world's best single malt, as state's 22 distillers can barely keep up with demand. If only we could animate exactly how Tasmanian whisky is flying off shelves
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Marijuana users "have abnormally low blood flow in every part of the brain - including Alzheimer's danger zones." Wait... What was I talking about again?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Killing bears in NJ reduces the chances of bear attacks. Don't worry, a lot of research went into this conclusion
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Homeschool mom crushed by 'moral dilemma' after son sees male CoverGirl wearing makeup
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Gee, why wouldn't you want your identity publicly known when you're on the jury of a murder trial against a cop?
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Japan offers senior drivers discount ramen for life at any Japanese Farmer's Market if they voluntarily give up their driver's licenses
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"The destruction took off on social media, where witnesses posted videos and photos of shoppers kicking aside shoe boxes and wading through the dystopian wasteland"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Stupid new online challenge has naked people trying to cover all their naughty bits using only a single digit. Enjoy The One Finger Selfie Challenge (probably Not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Aussie Walter Matthau kills Aussie Jack Lemmon. No word on if he was venomous
source: i.stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
You should try eating Key Deer before they're all screwed
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Plane with 80 Brazilian people crashes
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
A good heist involves a cunning getaway plan. Sadly, Florida Man's "hide in a pond and claim he's fishing" ploy didn't count
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Dollywood evacuated, will now be the subject of a soon to be released Hallmark Channel special
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 28, 2016
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Cops seek owner of well-dressed lost dog
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Calgary Police sued for $600,000 after false perjury charges laid against a man who will coincidentally be shot during a traffic-stop gone bad sometime next week
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brand Eating)
 
 
 
McDonald's rolls out battered and deep fried cheese curds. Only in Wisconsin
source: brandeating.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And the word of the year is...
source: blog.dictionary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Like, literally
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Remember that TFer's fantasy book that Fark made a best seller in July? Fun times, fun times. Today, all sales royalties are going to St. Jude's Cancer Research. Get one for yourself or a friend, signed copies available, too. DIT (Sponsored Link)
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
That sinkhole that Japan fixed in a week is broken again. Maybe they should try percussive maintenance
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Remember that scene in Indiana Jones where Indy used a lighter to see in a dark catacomb? Well, remember: A) You're not Indiana Jones, B) Your mobile home isn't a catacomb, and C) Couches are flammable
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Israel decides they don't want to be left out of the fun in Syria. I bet no one will have a problem with this
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
"OK, Google, tell me how to get to Dump Tower"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Breaking News: Trump wins Wisconsin. Other Breaking News: Nobody gives a shiate because the election was over 3 weeks ago
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
PSA: When prepping for Doomsday, remember the most important thing of all: Lock Your Doors
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Guess what day it is
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Accused face-biter's Google searches are even more bizarre than you imagined
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little dancer
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Inside the municipal court cash machine
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
The last evidence that the 19th Century was not a hoax turns 117 tomorrow
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Bad Astronomy urges us all to take on Bad Science
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Gun shops have a new marketing plan that's going gangbusters "Women and minorities, protect yourself from Trump voters"
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"The cafe apologized and stated they fired the 'rogue' employee who was selling smoothies with a swastika drawn on it and that it is a coincidence 'Nutsy' sounds like 'Nazi'"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That million-woman march on Washington that's supposed to happen right after Trump's inauguration? Yeah, it's going to rank up there with those million truckers who totes shut down the city to protest Obama
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Love means never having to say you are sorry. Voting for Trump means never having to pay for reusable bags
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this military patrol
source: i2.cdn.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
A new prime number has been found, and it's only 9.3 million digits long
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
That guy that smuggled $165K worth of gold in his butt? He said he'll pay it back. Give him 3 hours. Stand clear
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(delta.com)
 
 
 
Delta CEO Ed Bastian addresses angry Trump supporter on Thanksgiving flight: "the offending passenger will never again be allowed on a Delta plane, and we're refunding every other passenger's ticket price"
source: news.delta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Suggestions for White House exit pranks Obama could play
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Active Shooter" didn't shoot anyone. Or have a gun. Was armed only with a car and butcher knife. Calls for common sense knife control expected right after retractions of "another active shooter" headlines
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Anger erupts as French sex offenders are put to work with dildos. Well, anger and other things (not safe for work)
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(i24 News)
 
 
 
Radioactive material stolen in Iran. Authorities are on the lookout for a scientist and his teenage sidekick driving a DeLorean
source: i24news.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman on blind date pushed from car so dude can lead cops on high speed chase. Details to left, better blind date stories to right
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cars not to consider for this year's Cannonball Run, even if you are two very attractive women tag-teaming across the country in a Lamborghini
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
The shooter on the campus is the dead
source: 10tv.com   |&nbs