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| Sun November 27, 2016 |
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Scary: Chinese man loses around $4800 worth of yuan outside of bank in a nasty gust of wind. Hero: Bank employees and people passing by help recover it all
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And then there's the case of a woman who is allergic to virtually everything ... including her husband
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this shrub
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Cool superhero backstory, sis
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California considers ban on lawyers farking their clients in the literal sense, figurative sense still OK
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"My baby looks like Danny DeVito"
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"What's more, if you hold a bowl Buddha-like while eating, you are psychologically more prone to mindfulness about your meal"
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Photoshop Theme: Romance novels for Millennials
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If you think this was bad, wait till the Dutch find out it was really rabbit season
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I guess it's illegal to shop at the same mall twice in Europe?
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Sovereign citizens have some strange beliefs. Including the notion that Jesus created the X-Men
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Oh my, Cupid, that's quite the package you're packing in this refreshed theatre mural (safe for workish)
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The United States Postal Service would like to take this time to remind you it is still illegal to mail marijuana, but thanks you for the weed
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In Canada, some people are losing patience with the pace of marijuana legalization. "We know how to sell pot. We know how to grow it. We know how to buy it, we know how to smoke it"
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In Tennessee, somebody is $421 million richer
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Man busted with $330,000 worth of weed wrapped like Christmas presents. Man that would have been a heck of a Christmas party
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Photoshop what these two are looking at
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| (Some Guy) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: When you were on TV
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Failed Castro assassinations: A retrospective
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The snakes are gathering at state office buildings in Austin, Texas. Literally
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Increasing number of people living in cars at Aspen park-and-ride lot, deputies say
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Old and Busted: The Elf on the Shelf. New Hotness 'Hipster' Nativity scene
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Taxpayers will be paying $3M/year rent for Trump's wife and son to stay in Trump Tower
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Dear Deidre, my beloved, sexy sister just told me she's pregnant. I was there for her when her boyfriend dumped her and it seemed completely natural to give her a cuddle to comfort her. But one night everything got out of hand. What do I do?
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OSHA states death of man killed in wood chipper could have been prevented by better training, not participating in kidnapping schemes
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Coming to you from chilly Juneau, Alaska, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKST/10PM PST
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Man wants to perform home circumcision on his 20-year-old son. Son decides to first test blade on dad's neck
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| Sat November 26, 2016 |
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'Do NOT drive drunk. I will find you. I will arrest you. I will make you listen to One Direction cover bands on the way to jail.'
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Rifle discharges at Montana gun show, injuring 2
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Woman breaks fingers, delivers a baby, and puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table
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Seattle to stop using convicts to clear homeless camps. In related news Seattle has been using convicts to clear homeless camps
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Want to stop the homeless from sleeping on your stoop? Install this handy anti-homeless slope to ensure they cannot rest comfortably
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Apparently asking for sliced cheese in a CVS will get the cops called on you
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Photoshop this pixelated couple
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Police chief takes his own officer to task for his crappy parking skills. Of course people have a problem with this and say he should have been fighting crime instead
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Actual CNN headline: "Arizona officer on leave after punching woman during arrest"
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Homeless man who has a better freeway underpass than subby becomes internet hit
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Detective Harris joins Fish and Yemana in the big squad room in the sky. "Barney Miller" star Ron Glass dead at 71
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Dog gets lost on Britain's highest mountain after chasing some deer, then gets found by kind-hearted climbers - who send him on his way home in a taxi
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Photoshop theme: Star Wars characters moonlighting at their other jobs
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"Police say in lieu of cash, the robber took a burrito from Chipotle employees"
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Police uncovered $30,000 in stolen Nutella as part of an investigation into drug trafficking, car theft and a kidnapping plot. Canada
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Old and Busted: Africanized bees. New and Improved: Africanized ants
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U.S. government orders relocation of Native Americans. This is not a repeat from 1830
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Please "furry" community, Tony the Tiger begs you to stop tweeting him porn
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Polly the anxious goat is only calm when she wears her duck costume
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Why aren't TV Christmas specials as well made as "How The Grinch Stole Christmas"?
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| (Some Literate Guy) |
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The Saturday Morning Book Club is already suffering from Holiday Induced Short Attention Span Syndrome ... so this week we're looking for suggestions on the best short stories of all time
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However we have deployed an Xcom team to investigate
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More bars should let customers pick their drinks in a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' style
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Fark-ready headline: "Teens sue Detroit cops over botched hooker sting near coney island"
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Photoshop Challenge: Spruce up this classic camper
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National Zoo's ugly-ass giant panda cub Bei Bei receives life-saving surgery
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21 kittens scheduled to be euthanized in Florida just got a second chance after being transferred to Charleston's first ever Cat Cafe, just in time for a happy Caturday
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In Norway, high school graduates get prizes for having sex in the great outdoors, spend tens of thousands of dollars on pimped-up party wagons and spend three weeks getting drunk (not safe for work)
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Down and out in Victorian London: Street life of the capital captured in extraordinary photographs from 1880s (warning: occasionally some Not Safe For Work images in side ads)
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This just in: Corona founder isn't making everyone in his village a millionaire after all
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Want something science can't explain? How about why billions of people have the same favorite color and number?
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You know something is very wrong in your city if parking spots are pricier than houses
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In Belgium, beer drinking is serious business, so it has applied to have its beer culture listed on UNESCO's Intangible Cultural Heritage List. Stupid Flanders
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Yesterday, Don King was a guest at the President Elect's Thanksgiving celebration. And a little earlier than that, they faced off on MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch
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Old and busted: Yelling fire in a crowded movie theater. New outlawness: Yelling somebody has a gun in a crowded movie theater
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"As the Daily Mail takes its role as the official spokesperson for your old school mate's perennially creepy dad seriously, so brings another dreary day of voyeuristic feculence"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Subby's brother and long time mug shot round up photoshopper extraordinare, Mini Ditka passed away on 11/20/16. Please join me in raising a glass in his honor one last time. He will be very missed
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James Bond would never have done that. Jason Bourne, maybe
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In an effort to curb air pollution, Delhi bans the sale of firecrackers. Millions of cars sitting in traffic still ok
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You know it's your lucky day when you accidentally leave $10,500 cash in the taxi of Barcelona's most honest cab driver
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Pennsylvania Department of Corrections replacing nutraloaf with wicked pepper steak
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In hindsight, it probably was a terrible idea to leave your infant in the care of a man with a tattoo of Florida on his face
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CIA finally succeeds at assassinating Fidel Castro at age 90
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Barcelona's highest skyscraper surrenders to French Spiderman
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| Fri November 25, 2016 |
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Now that the long and glorious tryptophan coma has worn off, Fark is ready to help you again...with the Fark Weird News Quiz. Black Friday, indeed
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Ever driven the FDR in New York City? Well, you're driving on top of rubble from a World War II attack more than 75 years ago
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Everybody is getting in on the Black Friday action, as prostitutes across Britain are offering deals with 25% discounts on kinky sessions
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Black Friday weekend comes roaring out of the gates with 3 shot and 2 dead before midnight. Place your bets on the over/under accordingly
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Black Friday shoppers left in the dark after a power outage, rendering them incapable of buying discounted items they could have gotten on Amazon
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Incredible collection of 19th-century photographs shows what working-class life in Britain was like before people could afford to live in color
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Dog rescued by firefighters after getting head stuck in non-slatted chair
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Here are 40 things that science says you never need to do do from flossing to washing your jeans to learning to tell time on an analog clock. And stop taking toothpaste with you on vacation, they sell it where you're going
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The best maps are the ones that depict UFO sightings in America, Europe on the cusp of World War I, and the bears of Finland
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Fat Boy rescued by little men
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Iditarod bans mushers from carrying sled dogs in trailers. Doesn't it make sense to carry a spare tire in the trunk?
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Minnesota bus driver hurled racial slurs at a group of children as he ordered them out of the vehicle and left them stranded as punishment for misbehaving. But the way the school tells it, the kids had it coming
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what's missing from this hallway
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Canada has come to their senses and decided to remove themselves from the F-35 boondoggle
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Dear Kellogg's: Corn flakes have never been cool. Stop trying to make them hipster
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Serial killer who used Grindr to find his victims sentenced to life in prisn
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Terrified TV reporter quits after learning businessman she investigated was 'planning to murder her'
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Here are 14 things that are harder to get or to get into than Harvard University, ranging from being able to work here or getting a job at Walmart
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Clad only in their underwear, two brothers drive a dirt bike inside Walmart. And they would have gotten away with it too if they hadn't posted the video of their shenanigans online
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America indulges in another great Thanksgiving tradition - toddlers shooting each other
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Photoshop this man on the mic
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Fascinating photos reveal that North Korea has an elite living a life of luxury, they have designer handbags and mobile phones, drive Audis and enjoy light aircraft flights over the capital
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U.S. government wants phone makers to lock out most apps for drivers. Except for the PayAttentionIdiot app, of course
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"The fire was caused by somebody in the house, who had been using acetone - nail polish remover - to clean items while using a hairdryer and smoking"
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Trump MAGA hat Christmas ornament epic review excerpt: "It called Mary a nasty woman, told Joseph to go back where he came from, built a wall around the manger, and then when you press it it sings "I'm Dreaming Of A Totally White Christmas"
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Norway to Snowden: "Yeah, fark off"
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Just another Trump supporter trying to Make Delta Airlines Great Again
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Missing mom found in California just in time for Thanksgiving. Circumstances of her rescue don't sound suspicious at all
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Transgender cop banned from LGBTQ event she helped organize because her uniform could upset someone. Obviously it wasn't an event about tolerance
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The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on trial
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911 dispatch: State the nature of the emergency. Child: I want to invite the cops to have Thanksgiving with us. Proving that not every Florida tag is an idiot
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this balanced ledger
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Australia, where the birds of prey throw snakes at your car
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The five "cool" adults you meet in childhood who in real life are fark-ups. Sorry Todd, Uncle Joe made the cut ahead of you
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"On the evening of August 13, Martin Wanat had a two-course meal consisting of chicken and chocolate, then settled down on some fresh pillows for a nap. Unfortunately, he was at Woolworths at the time"
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Another moron who thinks it's just a wonderful time to be openly racist has lost his job
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Nov. 20: AlterNet writer Jeff Gillenkirk pens article on "The New PTSD: Post-Trump Stress Disorder," describes his own experiences with it. Nov. 22: Article greenlit on Fark Politics, and Jeff dies of heart attack in front of class of 3rd graders
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In Pennsylvania, so many people bought booze before Thanksgiving that it crashed the state's liquor stores' system
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No, you're not imagining it - your hair might actually be genetically 'uncombable'. Thanks, mom
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As you enjoy for breakfast the warmed up mashed potatoes you left out on the counter overnight, try not to think about the 16 million bacteria growing on the surface
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London gin hotel "The Distillery" to open this December, featuring four floors devoted to art of drinking gin
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2016 claims TV's favorite mom. RIP Florence Henderson
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If you need a story that restores your faith in humanity, waiter is tipped $750 for a Xmas trip back home to Ireland so his parents can meet his girlfriend and their new baby
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"A man in his 60s bumped into the motorcycle of a man in his 20s who had a gun. Once one person was shot, other people nearby pulled out guns to retaliate" and the Thanksgiving football massacre was on
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| Thu November 24, 2016 |
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Americans will throw away about 200 million pounds of turkey during the Thanksgiving holiday. Apparently there are only so many leftover turkey sandwiches one can eat
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Once again, a reminder - Writing "POLICE" on your car with a blue marker does not automatically make you a cop
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The true story of the first Thanksgiving is a lot more political than you imagined
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Probably not
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Today's Fark ready headline - "Fight over cereal ended with bomb threat". Come for the headline, stay for the meth lab, fake ID, parole violations & other items on this upstanding citizen's checklist
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Photoshop these cozy living quarters
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Iceland is suing Iceland
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Um...did we forget something today? As God as my witness, I think we may have
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Tourism and commercialization are killing the Dead Sea. Although some dismiss the claim, saying it's pretty much just redundant
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Man rides horse from South Carolina to Florida, where he officially joins the rank of idiotic criminals
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Veteran who was denied his free meal at Chili's after a white veteran complained about him being black has now been forced from his home due to repeated harassment
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| (Roy's) |
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Photoshop what's going on at Roy's place
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I heard you like disasters with your disasters, so I'm gonna give you an earthquake to go with that hurricane, and might as well throw in a tsunami just because
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That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange dinners save room for pie. Iä, Iä, C'thurkey thksgvn
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British council seeks help in naming their new snowplow: "We've had suggestions such as Spready Mercury and Gritney Spears and if you think you can top that there's still time to enter"
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FYI, here are your actual rights when shopping on Black Friday and punching someone in the face for a cheap TV in a crowd of screaming Walmart shoppers isn't among them
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A San Diego neighborhood named Nestor will be sprayed for Zika. First they will plunge down Deep Haven Lane until they finally finish on Pikakae street
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Surviving Thanksgiving 101: Do not read articles with headlines that begin with the words "At this Vegan Thanksgiving Feast"
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Fark Store Daily Deal: 3D printer pen. Sculpt in mid air. Arrives before Christmas. Start your own Westworld 1.0. (Sponsored Link)
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Protesters will try and ruin consumers' Black Friday on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. This will not end well
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| (Quints News) |
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Truck hits bridge; bridge wins (Actual headline from article)
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You can get anything you want (excepting Alice) at Alice's Restaurant. The Thanksgiving noontime tradition continues
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The Ric Romero Institute For Needless Research releases report that shows young people are more gullible than older folks
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| (Some Dog Lover) |
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Which breed will be top dog this year? Do you have a favorite breed? Would you be interested in owning an American Hairless Terrier? It is your National Dog Show thread, the event begins at Noon ET
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On this day in 1963, a Dallas nightclub owner avenged the assassination of a president, giving rise to countless photoshops and endless conspiracy theories
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F'ken oath, mate, this bloke in his jocks talking to the sheila on the telly is the Aussiest bloke you'll ever f'ken see. Crikey
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Puppy tries to walk down stairs for the first time, but reconsiders because DAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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Hello sailor, I am Peggy, what appears to be the problem please?
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The average American Thanksgiving dinner is 2,500 calories, or about what the average American eats for lunch on an average day
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this man and his sun
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Politician who criticized squirrels gets hospitalized ... by a squirrel
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Instead of letting the specters of mass consumerism slowly suck the soul from your body this Black Friday, why not write a letter, visit a museum, or bathe in a forest instead?
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While you prepare your turkeys and drink yourself stupid to face your family and their political talk this year, why not watch a bunch of huge balloons float down the street in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, 9 AM on NBC
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E-cigarette explodes in man's pants at Grand Central Terminal. Normally an explosion in a man's pants at Grand Central involves being rubbed on by a guy in a dirty Elmo costume and costs 20 bucks
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Old white man kills black teenager for bumping into him, tells police he had taken "another piece of trash off the street." This is the Trumpmerica you wanted, people
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"Heritage turkeys make a comeback, but to save them we must eat them." Sounds like a win/win. Pass the gravy
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Hunter shoots bag of antlers, mistaking her for a deer
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Finally somebody is doing something about Finland's excessive waste of Christmas ham fat
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Archaeologists think they may have found the original Pilgrim settlement. They can tell by the all the belt buckles and hand stencils drawn to look like turkeys
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Donald Trump is selling Christmas ornaments in the shape and style of his iconic red baseball cap. It's great for all your relatives who dream of a white Christmas
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How to tell a Japanese tanuki apart from a regular raccoon. First, determine if you are in Japan
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How do you turn one city's tragedy in to national mass hysteria? NBC News will show you how
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"It's the most beautiful traffic jam you'll ever see"
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Finalist on ABC's first season of "The Bachelor" facing rape charges. For the fourth time
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 603: "Eat Me 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed November 23, 2016 |
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Permits, we don't need no stinking permits. Fire crews responding to a call discover group of "fire eaters". Authorities say the group did not have the proper permits
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Our preparation for alien contact is like 'Neanderthals having a plan in case the US Air Force showed up', says Seti expert
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As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly over a busy roadway
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German court rules breast implants are no impediment for women to become police officers. Well that's a relief
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God chooses to reveal Himself to humanity over some dump in England rather than Ohio as the Bible predicted
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Got houseguests who just won't leave? Florida has a solution for that and it involves mugshots
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Most Canadian dilemma ever? Some parents are now having to choose between paying for College or paying for Hockey
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Go ahead and rescue that stray dog in the street because you never know if it might actually belong to a member of the Qatari royal family
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When you are hanging outdoor Christmas lights, maybe you don't want to use a metal pole right by the primary power line
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Deaf man denied commercial driver's license demands hearing
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Photoshop this unlikely duo (impersonators)
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Job opening: beer drinker, Hours: 4, Salary: $14,000, Perks: driver, Difficulty: Carlsberg
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Texas man accused of handing out porn DVDs to children on Halloween. That's unbelievable. I mean, who even has DVD players any more?
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Guys, there's NOTHING worse than posting dick pics to try and impress women. Okay guys, there's ONE THING worse than posting dick pics to women
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Mom-to-be still CrossFitting while 8 months pregnant. Fetus already won't stop talking about it
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Youthful blood may not reverse aging after all. Vampire Peter Thiel reportedly planning to sue Gizmodo for publishing this information
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Police now say they have a suspect in custody after the shooting of a Wayne State police officer early this morning. In other new we apparently now have a state named "Wayne." Please adjust your flags accordingly
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Protip: pizza is not a valid form of ID when trying to get into a bar, unless you happen to be the Little Caesar's guy or a Noid
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Get not thee drunk in Lancaster County this Thanksgiving
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Handwritten poem by Anne Frank highlighting her aviation exploits auctioned for $148,000
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Photoshop theme: Ways to combat winter
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Beanz Meanz Banz
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Sometimes it takes a good guy with a blunderbuss
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If your kid still has green hair from Halloween, you probably used the wrong dye
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Today's 'Swastika & Trump' graffiti is brought to you by New Haven, Connecticut
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World's tallest decapitating water slide to be demolished
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CCTV video of murder at funeral from 2008 released in effort to catch criminals. The brawl at the funeral left one dead. Well, two, technically
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South Korean leader defends her purchase of nearly 400 Viagra pills, saying they were used to ward off potential "altitude sickness" in aides who accompanied her to Ethiopia, Kenya and Uganda whose capitals are as much as a mile above sea level
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Woman carries crack pipe in vagina. Tells cops she had no pockets
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PETA tells volunteers they have a new style milk they want them to sample. Then they tell the volunteers it's dogs' milk
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Zoolz Lifetime Cloud storage. 500GB easily accessible storage, additional 500GB cold storage (similar to Amazon Glacier) - 1TB total. There is no Dana. (Sponsored Link)
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Man with no arms denied bank loan because he couldn't provide fingerprints
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It's Wednesday again, but it feels like Saturday mixed in with a good ol' helping of Tuesday boredom and anticipation of Friday. Irregardless *twitch*, it's time for your weekly "Oh god, I forgot to write" reminder. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
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In meeting with British politicians, Trump lobbied against wind farms spoiling the view at his golf course. But of course he did
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Police bust $58k marijuana operation near Vice President's house. Police on the lookout for a 1981 Trans Am seen fleeing the scene
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Just 1 in 5 adults really mean it when they tell other people that they are 'fine'
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French man inherits a house from deceased relatives. Turns out they hid gold throughout the house. $3.7 MILLION worth of gold
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Mom pays $250 for a replica of a Squidward painting from Spongebob. But she doesn't know what it is, and believes the seller who told her it could be worth $3,000
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Photoshop this desk fruit
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Dalai Lama: This is fine
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The UK is banning 'non-conventional' porn
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Delicate college students complained about seeing a painting at an art exhibit that depicted members of the KKK. College responds by telling the students to grow up. Just kidding, the college cancelled the exhibit
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First a polar bear petted a dog. Then the polar bear did what polar bears do -- ate the dog (now with EVEN MORE SCIENCE)
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Pudsey the bear bares his pud, see?
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Woman gives birth to her own grandson. Surprisingly, this story isn't from West Virginia
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91-year-old gay veteran sues for an honorable discharge after the repeal of DADT and the existence of Top Gun have made it okay to be gay in the Air Force
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Thing 1 arrested on suspicion of defacing several downtown L.A. landmarks. Thing 2 still at large
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The Catholic Church launches 'Sindr': the phone app which helps you get a quick confession in, if you have sinned
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It's always a little embarrassing to find out the stealth destroyer you built for the military broke down in the Panama Canal and had to be towed to the Pacific Ocean by tugboats
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Teenagers can't tell what is news. If only there were a book from 2007 about how mass media tries to pass off crap as news to help them learn the difference
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| Tue November 22, 2016 |
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High on the list of things you don't want to hear from your school bus driver: "Are y'all ready to die?"
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Three-year-old saves his dad's life after force-feeding him yogurt as he was slipping into a diabetic coma. Fark: He has never been shown how to do this
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A man doing the most hated job ever does the nicest thing ever
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If they bring a bike, you bring a squirrel. That's the Chicago way
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As you prepare to roast a turkey this year here's a little primer on how yours was raised. Bon Appétit
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Doctors try treating gunshot victims with hypothermia. Preliminary results show that it works WAY better than treating hypothermia victims with gunshots
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Doctors remove USB cable stuck in man's penis. "The procedure lasted longer than an hour, with surgeons slicing it into three sections (the cable, not the penis)"
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National Policy Institute founder Richard Spencer claims ending his speech by shouting "Heil Trump" and "Heil our people" at an organization's meeting celebrating Donald Trump's election was meant to be ironic
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Woman shaves kitten, plucks whiskers, sells it online as a hairless cat for $700
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Militarized police deploying "non-lethal" arms while defending corporate profits at Standing Rock. Dozens hospitalized, hundreds with hypothermia, one woman's arm literally blown off
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The famous 'Spaghetti Dinner' scene from Lady and the Tramp. As reenacted by guinea pigs
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Original Gerber Baby Humphrey Bogart celebrates 90th birthday
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Revolutionary surgical procedure offers new hope for amputees. But will it be perfected before Donald cuts off Barron's hand during their light saber fight in Cloud City?
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Unable to locate any sunshine, Scotland comes up with something better - the Fogbow
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This morning's delivery of Florida may be slightly delayed due to spillage
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Mr. Miyagi claims two more victims in Queens
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Damn it, Meg Ryan
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Photoshop this piece of fine art
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After learning via text he'd been fired, truck driver dumps 1000 bushels of corn on highway, earning him a trip to kernel clink
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Rare humpback whale sighting: A) off the coast of Australia. B) south of Japan. C) near the Statue of Liberty
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I was Playboy Playmate of the Year... how dare you use my picture to advertise your strip club
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South African pastor under investigation for his admittedly unorthodox practice of spraying his congregants in the face with insecticide
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Protip: If you kept naked photos of yourself on a flash drive, make sure your ex-wife doesn't have it
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Newlyweds scammed out of $139,000 down payment on new home purchase. This is why you never buy a house without having an attorney to look out for your best interest. Oh, they had an attorney and he was also duped?
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News: police are attempting to reunite a naked man with his owner. And by naked man, they mean a replica statue of Michaelangelo's David. Fark: They post a picture of him with his 'privates' blacked-out
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Yo dawg I heard you like conspiracy theories, so I put a conspiracy theory into your conspiracy theory so you can freak out while you are freaking out
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Mass DOT shows why you should always double check your work, hire sign makers whose first language is English
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Couple discovers 'In sickness and in health' also applies when the caterer brings salmonella to your wedding reception
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Photoshop this winding way
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Editorialist: I hated Breaking Bad. Mad Men sucked. Game of Thrones bores me. And now I'm about to quit Westworld. Why do I have such a hard time seeing what everybody else likes in these terrible shows?
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Death investigation involving 'town bully' of Galena sets resort town on edge. Holy paladin, Heroes for Hire bid for job removing him
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Haven't heard from Tila Tequila in a while. [Clicks on Tila Tequila story.] Hope we don't hear from Tila Tequila again for a while
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Not to alarm you, but that 6.9 magnitude earthquake that occured in Japan on Tuesday was actually an aftershock from the 9.1 magnitude earthquake that happened 5 years ago
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Leon G. Billings, the architect of the Clean Air and Clean Water acts, dies at 78--probably from shame
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Mystery solved: Kim Jong-un celebrates Festivus (Some Not safe for work images in sidebar)
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Origins of 45,000 surnames revealed much to the chagrin of the Dickinson family
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While you wait for the turkey to thaw, here's a handy list of the major retailers who are screwing their workers out of Thanksgiving dinner again this year
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Feeling left out after Nazism, racism and mumps make a comeback, whooping cough clears its throat and joins the party. Polio now on deck
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You can now hunt deer with a semi-automatic rifle in Pennsylvania
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This is why you don't try to pay a hooker with a boiled egg
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WWII fighter pilot flies one last mission alongside the original P-38 Lockheed Lightening he flew in the war. "I'm going on my last flight. As of last week I've been put in hospice"
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Nov. 22, 1963
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Why did that Russian Navy MiG-29 crash? It ran out of gas while circling the carrier
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Photoshop this backside
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Nothing to see here, just a deer driving a 4-wheeler down the highway
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If you hit a deer with your car, make sure it's dead before you load it into the trunk
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Man accused of putting the UPS in upskirting
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Woman who had sex with her dog walks away from prison sentence after telling judge how ruff this has made her life
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Couple arrested for having sex in a McDonald's parking lot as 6-year-old watched. Don't they know that's what Burger King bathrooms are for?
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Bus driver suffers fatal heart attack while driving on elevated roadway, has the presence of mind to slow the bus and tell his passengers to take over with his last breath
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Yo dawg, we heard you like pyramids, so we put a pyramid in your pyramid so you can sacrifice while you sacrifice
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Guess the story based on these three clues: Woman in wheelchair, police, taser
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Old and busted: Living with grandma while attending college. New hotness: Living with someone else's grandma while attending college
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Is there any way to truly defeat clickbait and fake news? Here comes the incredibly depressing science
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MSP Airport awarded title of having America's Best Bathroom. Maybe don't tell your toe-tapping political representatives
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Add 'thunderstorm asthma' to the list of stupid things people think they're getting sick from
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Seriously, what 12-year-old hasn't tried to light creamer on fire?
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The website most hated and despised by the Venezuelan government is run by 60-year-old Home Depot employee in Alabama
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Fark NotNewsletter: It's got what plants crave
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Now that he doesn't have to be politically correct anymore, President and Mrs. Obama come out as bi-coastal
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American History X teacher to his 8th grade class: "Equality means treating everyone equally... like when you hang one black person, you have to hang them all, that's equality"
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"Keep Santa Cruz Weird", an update on the Pink Umbrella Man
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Photoshop this ancient writing device
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You can thank O'Hare airport for the upcoming travel clusterfark
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Multiple fatalities reported following elementary school bus crash in Tennessee
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Woman who sideswiped seventeen cars in I-5 rampage 'might have been having a psychotic episode,' according to police. Or maybe she just found out McDonald's wasn't bringing the McRib back in her area, I dunno
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President Obama 'not optimistic' about Syria's future. Also reportedly has observations about the current size of the Pope's hat, wetness of water
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Note to self: when I get married, make sure my secret lover doesn't gatecrash the wedding wearing the same dress as my bride
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Here's how to eat as much food as humanly possible this Thanksgiving thanks to science
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Pope Francis extends permission for priests to absolve women for the grave sin of abortion, though advises against handing out 'I confessed my abortion today' stickers
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Live coverage of the 7.3 earthquake and tsunami off the coast of Japan near Fukushima
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Photoshop this odd couple
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"Flying at Thanksgiving is just not worth it. It's far cheaper to declare your own holiday"
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Plans for Otisburg are back on the drawing board
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Florida man can't find 7-Eleven restroom, so he enters walk-in cooler and pees all over the Busch Light
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Former Greek president Constantine Stephanopoulos nolongeramongus
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"I write fake news. This is what works in trolling people and making them believe in a lie"
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Hey, neat tattoo. Does it mean anything? I mean, other than the fact that you're 27% less likely than me to get a promotion
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Job interview not going well? Just steal the company president's wallet, it's not like they have your name and address on the resume you left behind
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Brit police 'gobsmacked' as medieval 'bommy-knocker' turned in during weapons amnesty
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Know what else is back in style besides Nazism and racism? Mumps
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Here are the most iconic landmarks in every state. Come for the Golden Gate Bridge, stay for the Taliesin
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Photoshop Her Majesty and these construction workers
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Marauding Trump supporters confuse Hamilton, the Musical and Hamilton, the City. Hilarity ensues
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World's largest Christmas maze opening in Vancouver. Little boy last seen running inside pursued by man with axe
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Rhett Butler sues after his genitals are burned in a mid-flight coffee spill. Unfortunately, there was no one aboard the plane who knew nothin' bout birthin' no babies or savin' no penises
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Bull in a 'gina shop, Pope plans to unseat the Chicago Cubs as NLDS Champions, and the inventor of RAM dies at 1100010: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/13 - 11/19
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It's not really a holiday parade unless there's a pole dancing entry
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Want to retire to a Caribbean paradise? Just ask the Canadian Porn King
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For the love of god - the sheriff is using water cannons on the Standing Rock protestors in 20 degree weather
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Toys R Us pulls Tonka Ride On Dump Truck after it appears to be made by Samsung
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Florida man finally lives his dream of surfing off coast of California. Immediately runs into pier, dies
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