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| Sun November 13, 2016 |
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Expert claims chemtrails will wipe out humans, cause biblical-style floods. Yeah, sounds legit
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Do you want ninjas? Because that's how you get ninjas
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Christmas comes early for divorce lawyers: AdultFriendFinder hack discloses 300 million accounts
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"Hey, remember that time I pulled you over for doing 107mph and then realized you were the police chief so I let you go? Ha ha. Yeah, good times"
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Photoshop this exciting athletic event
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| (Child's Play Charity) |
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Years ago I found this from Fark. I look forward to it now. Thanks Farkers. Desert Bus for Hope
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Last call
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Paul McCartney didn't die 50 years ago
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Photoshop Challenge: Create an award for winning a Photoshop Contest
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How about no
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Subby asks: "Is there a spell that works to turn me into a mermaid? I'm looking for serious answers only, so don't come in here claiming mermaids don't exist. I don't need your negativity"
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"Is this the famed Soviet Star of Voronezh?" "No, this is Patrick"
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Ringleader pleads guilty after getting stuck with evidence in the $18 million Canadian Maple Syrup Heist. Our long national nightmare is over
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Local police subjected to no-knock raid ... by the FBI and State Police
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Charges in Waffle House sex tape case scattered, smothered, covered
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You'll never guess which state is facing a huge teacher shortage
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this eyelash
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CSB Sunday Morning: Cheers
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Irreplaceable 18th century statue at a museum in Portugal becomes the victim of typically 21st century fate ... the tourist selfie
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Some people just want to watch Ontario burn
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Trying to decide where to move to now that Donald Trump has become the president-elect? Well, today is your lucky day: there are towns that will actually pay you to live there
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Remember the UK man who made the difficult decision to euthanize his 18-year-old dog and wanted to spend the final day walking with him on the beach? Well, hundreds of animals lovers with their pets came to help him take the final sad walk
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Incidents of pro-Trump violence are few and scattered. One here, one there, only 137 isolated incidents so far
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New Zealand slammed by 7.4 magnitude quake just 59 miles from Christchurch, which is still recovering from the 2011 earthquake that killed 185 people
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| (The Elohim) |
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The 60 richest people on Earth are now secretly building an underground complex that can withstand any nuclear, chemical or biological world war or world revolution. You can be assured this bit of info is 100% true as it comes from ElohimLeaks
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FARC Yes
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Trump has won a smaller percentage of votes than Mitt Romney. Tag is for everyone
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
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| Sat November 12, 2016 |
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Cemetery beekeeping operation sells honey named "The Sweet Hereafter" because there's nothing better than death honey
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Not only do Russian children have to trudge miles through the snow to get to school, they have to carry axes to fight off hungry wolves
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You are not going to be an escaped inmate for long when you look like this
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Hate mathematics? You're not alone. Even physicists who are generally skilled in it are scared by it
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The bizarre reason there are always more yellow Skittles than any other flavour. The (yellow) Sun is there
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| (Some Silly Guy) |
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Life has been way too serious of late, so Photoshop this silly dog into something fun
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If your candidate didn't win here's how to remove that bumper sticker
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| (Some Area Man) |
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Man discovers he can't ride in the engine compartment of a driverless car without hitting a building
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America has a new hero: The Girl with the Unusually Large Cabbage
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Germany has its own spin on "sovereign citizens," though more organized because Germany
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Just a story about a man rushed to the hospital with a chopstick stuck in his penis
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Oklahoma votes to repeal Prohibition
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is National Pizza Day. Arguments about who has the best pizza to the right. (Hint: It's Chicago, haters)
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Photoshop this mock rescue
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79-year-old father (who's battling cancer) says it's time for assisted living. What should subby be on the lookout for when visiting various places? All tips and advice welcome
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Every British swear word officially ranked (Damn Not safe for work)
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If You're a tax commissioner there is one thing you should remember to do
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You just stole a box of Miss America crowns. Now what?
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Judge declares mistrial for former Cincinnati officer who killed driver in traffic stop
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Proof Aussies are descended from convicts: Crooks steal Sydney man's cash and laptop while his Ferrari goes up in flames
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Sperm whale vomit is kind of like your cat's hairball, except it's worth three million dollars
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World power with very large army building a new military base right near the border of Best Korea. Fark: The northern border of Best Korea
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In the Saturday Morning Book Club, we talk a lot about classic books. But what about the new stuff? What new book(s) have you read this year that you think the rest of us should know about?
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"Pedestrians know that drivers typically have no interest in running them down. So why not simply step out into the street and assert the right of way?"
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Not sure what type of vermouth is best for you? Here's a handy flowchart
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New Zealand build its first penguin-crossing tunnel. The ribbon cutting ceremony is expected to be a black tie affair
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Photoshop theme: Changes we can expect to see at the White House once Trump moves in
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Used Corolla. Runs good. Some dents
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A group of fourth graders are being credited with saving a kitten from certain death by stopping a woman who was attempting to drown it. Somebody tell these kids that they are more than welcome on Caturday
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News anchor shreds the media's last vestiges of respectability by saying she prayed for a Trump victory and as much as she hates to say it, the number of African Americans killing one another far outweighs the number of them being killed by whites
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Looks like I picked the wrong week to start harassing people on airplanes
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"It's tradition for him to have his guns brought to him around hunting season so he can get them out and go through the whole process of cleaning them and getting them ready. And then the guns are put away until the next year." Not anymore
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We're not saying cats are dicks, but they will sit on another cat's head just to get a better view looking out the window
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Measure to remove fluoride from the drinking in water in Maine wins by the skin of its rotten, rickety, cavity-pocked teeth
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With their fourth night of televised coverage, Portland anti-Trump riots are longer running than most of the new Fall TV shows
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Man who set up camp in front of a Best Buy explains why he has to be the first in line Black Friday deals. "I just can't have nobody taking my spot. It is a competition"
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YouTube video star pleads guilty for faking a hate crime, since there isn't a jury in the country that would convict anyone for assaulting a YouTube star
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There are better ways to pick up followers on Facebook than by purposely starting a wildfire to draw attention to your videos
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| Fri November 11, 2016 |
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Welcome back, everybody, to the latest installment of the Fark Weird News Quiz, now with more than just scotchy scotch scotch
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China reacts to the results of the presidential election with censorship and mocking of the U.S. Or as it's otherwise known in China, Wednesday
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Legend has it that if you die on Facebook, you die in real life
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You know that scene where the plumber comes by and starts chatting up the teen girl? From his van? At 70 mph?
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It's raining men in Glasgow
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Yes, this is a 'do it yourself' store, but no, that's not what they mean
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The dress is blue-and-black, that was Bill Murray, and this is a dog
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Scorned lovers. Millions of dollars of missing artwork. Florida
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Boat captain rescues dog who swam for two miles after jumping from sea wall. Your dog wants a life jacket
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The best sex-tape scandals are the ones where the couples met at church
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Killer Russian robot that can detect and kill people from miles away is now a thing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these proud harvesters
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Johnson exposes Johnson
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Here's a list of amazing things that have happened in 2016 to balance out all the recent crap
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Prohibition couldn't shut down McSorley's, but the NYC Health Department has
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Fear proliferates among African-Americans in Richmond after election. This is not a repeat from 1861
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"You're riding along, minding your own business and then 'thwack.' You feel the sharp dig of claws and wings against the back of your helmet, and there's a horrible dry scream right in your ear and you realise that a magpie has hit you from behind"
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Memphis called buckle of the stroke belt, and not the good kind
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Singapore launches major military exercise, reminds drivers that for the next week, F-15s have the right of way on Singapore highways (pics)
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Invoice, invoice, complaint, invoice, Légion d'Honneur medal, invoice, inv....wait. What?
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43 year old Navy seal dies at National Zoo
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A woman in Portland splashed laundry detergent on protesters last night. This is the first recorded use of the little known martial art of Tide-kwon-do
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Photoshop these people you're probably going to miss in a year or so
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If you like Ramen you can now take a bath in it
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All aboard the Twilight Express
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Guy gets on the subway and smokes Fentanyl in a crack pipe. Kids call it a High Roller
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A man shoots a deer that was in neighbor's backyard and then drives his SUV right through their backyard to take the deer
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The Dutch are torn about whether it's okay to celebrate Christmas in blackface as they traditionally do
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How to turn a horse into a mule
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After 18 years, UK man makes the difficult decision to euthanize his dog, asks others to join in for its last walk on the beach
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Air Bacon
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But how would you pull the trigger...?
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Want some mugshot goodness to start the weekend? Check out this group courtesy of a prostitution sting
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New entry on the seemingly endless list of Australian animals that want to kill you: goats
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Marijuana vending carts still illegal in Canada, even if you declare 'No Minors' on it in stick-on letters
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Hey, free chickens
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British consumers introduced to naga pepper pizza: "One bite and I was in pieces. It's the hottest thing I've ever tasted. My tongue was on fire, my face was boiling and my hair was soaking wet. I will never eat anything with chilli in it again"
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World's first commercially available jetpack is now on sale to 'well qualified buyers'
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Whoever thought fishing could be so sexy?
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Today is Veterans Day. 'Nuff said
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If you committed a crime and had the option of going to prison for five years or getting transformed into a cat for three years, which one would you choose?
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San Diego Farkers welcome a EuroFarker to America's Finest City
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Women if you've got an extra $50k laying around, maybe you want to get out of this hellhole we call America and marry a Swedish dude
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Auto-erotic asphyxiation
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If you unsuccessfully try to hotwire someone's pickup, don't leave a citation for an earlier crime behind in the cab
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Subby: "You know what we haven't had on Fark in a long time?" Cat: "Meow?" Subby: "No, we haven't had a tipping thread." Cat: (licks self) Subby: "Exactly. Maybe the admins are distracted and think this is a cat story"
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Oh man, this kid is soooo grounded (Warning: graphic images)
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Photoshop this flying contraption
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Not sure what they were thinking when they made a kid's toy based entirely around a sausage
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Does no good fleeing from police during traffic stop, jump out of still moving vehicle, leap into canal, drown. They'll just pull drag you out from those dank waters, bring you back from brink of death to get that ticket
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Everything's going to be oKKK
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As punishment for them screwing up the election (again) God smites Florida with a rare type of bedbug not seen in over 60 years
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The good news is that Sheriff Joe Arpaio is out of a job. The bad news is that Trump's Department of Homeland Security is hiring
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Public sector worker who didn't show up to work for more than 10 years appeals decision to freeze his salary because he is 'quite upset about it'
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George Zimmerman viciously persecuted just for exercising his First Amendment rights in a way that was in no way deplorable or racist
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Lindstrom, Minnesota voters re-elect beloved, but dead, councilman
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We can now return to our regularly scheduled Bad Mom programming from our favorite state (with mugshot)
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Police bust foot licker who held his victim by the ankle and nibbled and licked her heel and sole for over 30 minutes. "The woman in the latest case managed to use her mobile phone to record at least some of the ordeal"
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Add the Unitarians to the list of minority groups in America terrified over what a Trump presidency could bring
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Former McDonald's and KFC workers reveal what you should never eat there
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Another perfect symbol for America in 2016
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| Thu November 10, 2016 |
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Of course, Disney engineer makes learning fun at Boys & Girls Club robotics camp. He gets to play with life-sized dolls while us regular engineers just blow things up
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Spartans become snowflakes
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UNF coed answers Craigslist ad for babysitter, discovers pay way too high, baby way too old
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Skeleton of Paul Gauguin's father has been found. Who was even looking for it?
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British pensioner fails at playing "The Floor is Lava" game
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Man marries his pet snake because he believes it to be his dead girlfriend reincarnated
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Universities work to comfort their students post-election by offering "cry-ins," comfort dogs, and floor-sprawl time with Play-doh and coloring books in the Student Affairs office. Difficulty: Article not plagiarized from The Onion
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Rare birthmark's four-generation streak has mom teaching her daughter to outrun amorous French skunks
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Green Acres is the place for me
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Yourenothelping.jpg
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The Navy is having a hard time getting rid of the mothballed USS Independence because it's too fat to fit through the Panama Canal
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People are setting fire to the New Balance shoes today to teach Trump a lesson
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Noooooooooooooooope (Article contains graphic image)
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Closing time. Leonard Cohen passes away at 82
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British government puts 1,200 of their best-trained soldiers on 24-hour standby for the next five months in case they have to defend Britain from winter
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these acrobatic squirrels
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Man that smuggled $165K of gold in his rectum also had a gold finger
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The Dutch are also struggling with the biggest prison crisis in their history, because they've run out of people to send to jail
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What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? Well, I dunno either, but THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, the 'somewhat delayed by election madness' edition
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Bored of wearing a crappy plastic poppy for Nov. 11? Why not wear one made out of shell fuses fired during the battle of the Somme (£39.99) or cufflinks incorporating earth from various First World War battlefields (£79.99 a pair)?
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Drivers over 65 are most likely to drive through flood water because they know there's a lawn underneath there someplace
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Mexico's Pres, "Well yes, we'd be willing to negotiate a 'modern' version of NAFTA.'" Translated for the Mexican ruling class: "Hay un nuevo sheriff en la ciudad"
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Six gang members and an elf arrested for murder
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If you were a guest at a Thanksgiving dinner table, what would you love to see besides a perfectly cooked turkey. Do you like classic American sides, like green bean casserole and stuffing? Or do you like unique sides with global flavors and spices?
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Happy Birthday, U.S. Marine Corps. Semper Fi
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Spain's new prime minister proposes a ban on all memes. Sounds like a Fark challenge to me
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this morning dandelion
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Woman who once got stuck in a bath because of her HH breasts starts crowdfunder to have them reduced
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Man tries fleeing cops at 165 mph. And he would have gotten away with it too, if only he remembered to fill up his motorcycle tank with gas beforehand
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One of the upsides of the Brexit vote is that at least people in Britain will get bread properly toasted in energy-inefficient toasters
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21 Florida kids sickened and rushed to the hospital. Doctors immediately rule out overexertion from exercise
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The last person to vote in America on Election Night was a Alaskan teacher in the remote town of Adak out on the Aleutian chain
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So which country drinks the most alcohol anyway? Hint: it's not any country that starts with "The Islamic Nation of "
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Man and woman stole 68 bras worth almost $4,000 from Victoria's Secret. Police seek support
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Turns out that the puritans didn't just see witches flying through the night skies. They saw aliens
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You can now get your teeth fixed by the world's first sex dentist
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Want to breathe cleaner air? Just wear this mask full of spiders on your face
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It is apparently too late to stop killer robots. Not even if you try to reason with them. Or bargain. They don't feel pity or remorse. Game over man. Number 5 is alive
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Polish army launches free nationwide classes to teach women unarmed combat
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Smoking hot 29-year-old single mother discovers secret to not catching the flu is drinking sperm smoothies: "It can taste really good - depending on what my friend has been eating. My other mates think I'm strange, but I don't give a toss" (w/pics)
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Los Angeles: Go be homeless somewhere else
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The election reactions have resulted in friendships being torn apart. On Facebook
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State Department warns that tourism may be funding North Korea's nuclear weapons program. Wait, North Korea has tourism?
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Young woman regrets getting tattoo of her personal motto (mildly not safe for work)
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| (Some Wicked Guy) |
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Photoshop YOUR FACE into one of these dual image illusions. Link goes to an example
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It's probably for the best that Ralph didn't know who would end up as President
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Grammar Nazi can't live without U
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Sweden's Treehotel is branching out with a seventh room
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Shiat's on fire, Oakland
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Good PR: getting photographers at your charity car race -- Bad PR: assaulting a photographer
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When taking a taxi to burglarize a house it is best to pay the driver
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 601: "Libations". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed November 09, 2016 |
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Hard to say which is worse: that the male lecturer decides halfway through class to strip totally naked, or that his subject is microscopic anatomy (Not safe for work content in sidebar/below article)
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Ever wonder why Coke at McDonald's tastes better than at other fast food joints? Here comes the science
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this electrifying experience
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Behold the power of this fully operational play room. Tag is for subby's nephew who is the cancer patient in the article
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Australian man faces $9000 fine for using a drone to pick up sausage at hardware store. In other news: You can buy sausage at hardware stores in Australia
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Man faces animal cruelty charges after learning why you should always put your teeth up on the windowsill
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the Zippomobile
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If you had placed a £5 treble bet on Leicester winning the title, the UK voting for Brexit and Donald Trump triumphing in the race to be President of the United States, today you'd be counting up a staggering £15million ($18.6 million)
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Are you living in a third-world country and looking forward to your World Series Champions Indians t-shirts? Well, bad news. Also, how are you reading fark right now?
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Did recent experiments at CERN's Large Hadron Collider cause the recent earthquakes in Italy? No, of course not. But that's never stopped the conspiracy theorists
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Typical train delays: weather, livestock, stuck track switching. Atypical train delays: naked guy performing a rap song on the tracks
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Dewey defeats Truman. Again
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New study says that dangerous driving runs in families. Which means we should immediately revoke the driver's licenses of the children of Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson and Billy Joel
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How to move to Canada
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Brain.fm. Artificial Intelligence composer "designed with the brain of a neuroscientist and the heart of a musician". Music created with science to improve focus, meditation, and sleep. (Sponsored Link)
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"Only in Toronto could 20 people witness a man having his penis cut off followed by five gunshots and no one saw or heard anything"
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Photoshop Theme: If rock stars were really gods
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I'm not saying that how we're imagining aliens is wrong, but how we're imagining aliens probably is wrong
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New Jersey couple stuffs highway toll baskets to prevent coins from dropping, goes back later to pick up the money, forgets that there are surveillance cameras rolling
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Press censorship under President Trump has just begun
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There's a special place in Hell for anyone who steals from a woman while she's in labor
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Samsung offices raided in investigation involving a dressage horse gifted to the daughter of the president of South Korea
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Man who attacked a grocery store clerk told a responding officer that he was a "vampire, ghost rider, Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, and a leader of a band
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Cheer up California, Massachusetts, and Florida farkers. At least you can stay stoned for the next four years
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Caption this canine's thoughts
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Orange is the New Black thread 2 - Orange Harder
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What 2016 has taught us: Hate Sells
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Trump Brexits the world: Asian markets crater, U.S. markets fall, currencies dive, Peso falters, Fear Proxies such as the U.S. dollar, gold and bonds rosey-cheeked and sunny at prospect of battening on the USA's bleaching bones. Thanx, dumbasses
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...and Trump supporters have already begun firing their guns in the air across America
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Meanwhile, Canada has ebola
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Not trying to instill U.S. panic, but the Canada immigration website has just crashed
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Canadian government proposes draining an entire lake in Banff National Park for the winter to save the trout who live in it
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We're running out of headlines... but we're still going... Election Thread #10 right here for ya
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The crazy train rolls on.... Election Thread #9
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The Canadian Immigration website has crashed, but we haven't. It's your 2016 election thread #8
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Have you ever walked through an art gallery and thought "this experience would be better if I could take my pants off"? Well you're in luck
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| Tue November 08, 2016 |
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Alec Baldwin sighs, pulls out the wig and make up, asks Lorne if he can broadcast from Canada. It's your Election Thread #7
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Every year some hunter gets mistaken for a deer and accidentally shot. However, they're usually not halfway up a tree at the time
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The Fark Thunderdome continues.... Election 2016 thread #6
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Ohio man charged with trying to go to Libya to join ISIS, says at least the weather would be nicer than in Cleveland
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The Not a Damn Horse Race is a horse race again, as Americans start wondering how easy it is to sneak into Canada without being noticed. It's the Election Day Discussion Thread Part 5: Don't stop drinking
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Hotel guests sleep with a dead body under their bed for at least a week after a woman's body is discovered by cleaners. Thankfully the hotel did not charge the guests for an extra occupant
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As demonstrated by the rise of Trump, zombies could overrun a city in no time
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Turns out nasty women really are nasty
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Women claim man who romanced them under guise as war hero, doctor, lawyer, professor was really an imposter. Sounds like typical pick-up lines, less being member of Mossad
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Hillary Clinton threatening to grab defeat from the pussy of victory. It's the Election Day Discussion Thread Part 4
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Headline: "Mint worker accused in rectal gold theft looks jovial on video". Well, who wouldn't?
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The house dressing comes on the side... the table... the ceiling... the carpet... the walls... the dress
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Disney apparently planning to massacre guests for Christmas with new holiday drone program
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An hour-by-hour guide to watching election night returns. Spoiler alert: You'll be passed out drunk before we even reach hour 2
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FYI in Alaska you can't post a selfie of your ballot, but you can open-carry to the voting booth *unless the property owner posts a sign
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The first waves of polls are closed, the weak livers are failing. It's the Election Day Discussion Thread Part 3: It's Time
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No country in the world requires wedding photos to have a thick topping of Photoshop more than Russia
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| (New Mexico) |
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Photoshop this flummoxed owl
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I'm not saying it's Godzilla, but it's Godzilla
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And the F-35's latest trick: Catching fire in mid-air
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Two polling places on lockdown due to active shooter situation
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Man loses wedding band in garden, finds it three years later after it has grown an extra carrot
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C U in the NT
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Self-propelled Russian garbage fire in Mediterranean moves to war footing, prepares to roll coal in Aleppo's general direction
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Because there ARE important things happening in the rest of the world today: "TV presenter Lisa Snowdon admits she's 'curious' about kangaroo anus"
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The pregame is over, the server hamsters are warming up, Subby's on his second pack of smokes and third bottle of gin, and the polls are starting to close. It's the Election Day Discussion Thread Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
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Chicken apprehended after crossing roads, will be taken downtown and grilled
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Woman posted revenge porn showing ex-boss naked on his new wife's business Facebook page. Her defense lawyer, Mr. Booty, says she just wanted to be heard
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Putin has decided Trump failed to secure the election
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Organizer of "Smack Fest" at bar sees no connection to the drunken brawl that erupted between participants
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Man sues Donald Trump for $1 billion claiming campaign caused him emotional distress
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That time you baked cookies for the voters you were going to drive to the polls in a van until you found a dead body in it
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Headline: Fracking isn't causing Oklahoma earthquakes. Article: Wastewater from fracking is causing Oklahoma earthquakes
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Photoshop this dog washing station
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Cop painfully discovers that even a police dog trained to bite the first suspect it sees, sometimes gets confused
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Donald Trump just got trolled by a Jordanian airline that's offering an election day special to Middle Eastern tourists who want to "travel to the United States while you're still allowed to"
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Things to remember today 1. Vote 2. Stephen Colbert will be uncensored on Showtime with election coverage tonight
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Fox News reports on Fox News' stunningly beautiful new television studio that will be featured tonight in Fox News' coverage of the election. Fox News
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UK pub owner thinks that anyone 16 and older should be allowed to drink in a pub, claiming they would be less likely to fill up on cheap supermarket alcohol
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Who gets the center armrests on an airplane? Flight pros all agree on one thing -- oh wait, no they don't
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Judge orders the release of a chimpanzee ruling that it has "non-human" rights
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Black smoke seen over DC signals we do not yet have a new president
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Kid dies while hunting toads. A golf club randomly hits him on the noggin and he suffers severe injuries. The golfer also suffered as he took a three stroke penalty
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"Dad, I'm pretty sure this is a strip club." "Shut up Timmy, this is where they said I was supposed to vote, and vote I shall"
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This winter the only thing saving you from depression could be a gerbil
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Write the concession speech for the losing candidate, not the speech we want, but the speech we need to heal
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If you're going to the airport to watch jets take off and land, bring along a radio so you can talk to the pilots
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we have our first assault at a Florida polling place (with photo)
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The absolutely best advertisement this political season. Watch this before you vote today, and you'll be assured of the effectiveness of your democratic process and know that our republic will endure. Bonus a cute redhead
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"We live in the first shipping container in the world to have a stained glass window"
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Ever wonder why you don't see much grape ice cream? Here comes the science
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44 undocumented immigrants found locked in backyard shed. Someone didn't get the memo that Trump victory parties don't start till tonight
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Remember the squirrel attack at the Florida senior community? There was a second attack, but this time the seniors stood their ground
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FDA approves first drug to treat anxiety in dogs. Your dog wants a valium, some benzos and a beer
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And the first vote cast is a perfect metaphor for this election season
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"If the psychologist doesn't become a vegan, this is clear evidence that they can't possibly understand the extent of the vegan's distress"
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As America goes off to vote, the rest of the world watches and waits the results in a state that can be best described as "pants-shiatting terror"
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Waiter, there's a bug in my sandwich
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Photoshop this pub band
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Thanks to legalization, U.S. weed is better and stronger and Mexico wants it
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The time for mudslinging and handwringing and genital grabbing is done. The Bataan Election March finally comes to an end as the people of the United States go to vote and collect their stickers. This is the Election Day discussion thread, part 1
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Eleven reasons why South Jersey is better than Best Jersey (slideshow)
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Not to be outdone by an awkward swan taking out rail service in Britain, an SF BART station was shut down today because someone got a shoe caught in an escalator
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Jurors send a $37 million message to Flint, Michigan Police concerning police brutality
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Madrid opens 'Robin Hood' restaurant that will feed the homeless with the profits from paying customers. "The idea is not to rob from the rich to feed the poor, but to share"
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Man chops off snake's head then makes the bad decision to pick it up
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Great. Now even the world of high-end artisan honey has been infiltrated by gangsters
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If you've always enjoyed that as a nation we collectively vote on a Tuesday, you can thank farmers who were too busy going to church on Sunday and market on Wednesday
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Drag queens perform 'Seniors in Heat' show to benefit Seattle charity. Deslidified, because things are already slippery enough when you mix heels and Geritol
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Evidence of Russian giants involved in snowball fight
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Listen up you apathetic voters, if a guy can vote from space so can you. VOTE Earthlings
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| Mon November 07, 2016 |
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The only winners of election day are these red pandas
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Someone apparently thought Jurassic Park was a good idea
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Lowest November temperatures in the UK in 100 years makes it colder than Moscow, with only slightly better food
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China pledges to cut 18% of its carbon emissions by 2020. Finally the air will be clean enough so that the people can read billboards telling them when air pollution warnings are in effect
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Amidst all the election coverage, here is your friendly reminder now is not the time to talk about gun violence
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"Man Missing for a Decade Might Never Have Left This Bar." I say we canonize the dude
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Fark NotNewsletter: It's finally here
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Cat blamed for putting syringe in kid's Halloween candy bag. "The cat isn't speaking"
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If it were an episode of "Criminal Minds," you'd roll your eyes and shut the TV off: Suspected serial killer who kidnapped a woman and left her chained in a box for two months left clues to his activities in Amazon product reviews--using Eagles lyrics
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Photoshop Theme: put a famous person in a hat (LGT to lots and lots of hats to choose from)
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TEACHER: "Johnny, you don't have your homework, again? What's your excuse this time?"
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Medieval sin-washing well uncovered. Apparently it was buried under massive piles of deleted emails
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This week's episode of OD'd With Children brought to you by Latrobe, PA
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"Pumpkin Spice Cheese". Dear sweet lord
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Eight people go to hospital after attempt to put out electrical fire with water
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If only there were a saying to cover this situation
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In 2010 a woman scamming immigrants offered to pay $1.2 million to her victims to avoid prison. As of 2016, the state has $200,000, her victims have nothing, she's not paying, and nobody cares
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Starting a fire, crashing through ceiling tiles, stealing a squad car, and going on a high speed chase isn't normal. But on meth it is... still pretty unusual
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Photoshop this woman on a train
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We'll continue this high school internet safety lecture after a brief message from Pornhub
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There's only one clock master left in Hampton Roads. Really? Because I'm pretty good at-oh, CLOCK master
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Flight from Cancun to Frankfurt makes emergency landing in Jacksonville after man exposes his genitals and threatens to kill a 3-year-old boy. To be fair, it does really sound like he belongs in Florida
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"A lot of Muslims are crossing the border disguised as Mexicans. They're buying up gas stations. What if they won't deliver gas? How could we drive to work?" Welcome to to conspiracy world, now supporting a candidate near you
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"One of the most important sites in Australian pre-history" was discovered because some guy had to take a leak
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There's now one stoplight in this Arkansas county. Reviews are mixed
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Travel writer declares that being stuck in an airport is great, as you can hit the spa, golf simulator, massage chair, electronic shop, bar, designer stores, gift shop, sushi restaurant, and business lounge for only 12x your original ticket price
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Everyone go home, the mystical Chinese monkey has already predicted Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States. Book it done
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"Puppies. Because election fatigue is real, y'all." This is a real article in a national newspaper... and we probably need it
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Guy does 134 in a 35, hits and kills a woman, runs away, then is found dancing naked on a statue in the middle of a lake. Methinks drugs may have been involved. With "oh shiat" mugshot goodness
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Psychic Scottish goat predicts next U.S. president
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Hugging, playing with bears as natural as petting your dog, says lunch
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Welcome to The Family Feud. Top five answers up on the board. Name something that you smear on someone else's car
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Trump supporter at rally supports lynching reporters. Reporters report it. See? See?
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When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, she sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window she flew like a flash. Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. That's when the stray bullet hit her she died shortly after
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Italian priest blames earthquakes on gay unions. Subby is wondering if that is the Teamsters or UAW
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Protip: If a stranger wants $300 in iTunes gift cards to fix your PC, you should be a little suspicious
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Fuji EnviroMAX AA and AAA batteries, 96- and 144-packs. Cadmium and PVC-free. And they're green. (Sponsored Link)
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This is why we can't have nice things, but loads of donkey sauce instead
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Backpacker 'body slams' a crocodile after selfie photo attempt goes horribly wrong
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Photoshop this unusual statue
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Russians tied to dope in race, pencilneck scientist dorks say the human brain is predisposed to negative stereotypes, and I'm Rick James, bench: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/30 - 11/5
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In the latest internet craze that does nothing, and benefits no one, people are making short videos of themselves and their friends posed like mannequins. Here's a tissue so you can wipe your tears
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I used to be a burglar until I took an arrow to the butt
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There are eleven unusual things you can do with cremated remains including making a tattoo out of them, sending them into space, or turning them into a vinyl record. We bet you're dying to hear the rest
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Woman releases Drop Bear on arresting officers
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Protecting your children, the wise and noble public servants of San Joaquin County, California put the hammer down on the looming menace of ceviche bootlegging
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San Antonio cop learns that the "serve and protect" part of his job description does NOT entail serving a literal sh*t sandwich to a homeless man
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Responsible gun owner shoots self in leg. Twice
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The music has stopped at Janet Reno's dance party
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Ball pit for adults: meh. Ball pit for adults with all-you-can-eat spaghetti in second floor restaurant: I'm listening. Ball pit for adults with all-you-can-eat spaghetti plus an hour of all-you-can-drink cocktails: I'm reserving my flight now
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Man faces jail after police find octopus porn on his computer. SUCKERS
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Now ambulances are being used as bombs in Iraq by terrorists
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Oookkkkklahhhhooommmmmmaaaa
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18 year-old girl selling vag shoots to stardom online. Wait, veg. Not vag
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