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Sun October 30, 2016
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The secret rooms on planes that you only wish you could sneak a 'mile high' quickie with your SO in
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The selection of the jury that will acquit Michael Slager has begun
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Construction crews in Toronto under bombardment by bags of poop and they would like it to stop: "It used to be once a month. Now there are multiple piles. Everyone's been complaining. It's disgusting"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
This day in 1938, Orson Welles trolls the entire nation by pulling off the greatest hoax of all time
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Denver police officer arrested after stealing $1200 from unconscious suspect. Oopsie, forgot to turn off the body camera
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Cubs fan takes top Halloween costume by going as the Wrigley Field ivy, complete with outfield marker
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Earthquakes: not just the fault of gays anymore
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Police officer reviewing CCTV cameras for traffic violations sees his own car running a red light - and gives himself a ticket
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The best drone footage of the weekend is this Uber driver racing through rising sea tides to rescue a stranded Buddhist monk. And failing
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Due to complaints about traffic jams and gridlock, officials listened and will make things worse
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth offers to bring Monarchical Rule back to the United States
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scary guitarist
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man gets more from Chinese restaurant than he could possibly eat in one sitting
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Uber driver decides to kidnap his drunk female passenger
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The iconic WWII 'Keep Calm And Carry On' posters were intitially banned in case Brits panicked when they saw them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
Your bartender might be a stoner if he keeps making you drinks incorporating things like catnip and Cinnamon Toast Crunch
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYPD now says the suspicious powder that made the Metropolition Opera performance of "Guillaume Tell" get dusty and forced an evacuation was probably someone's dead relative
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this collection of street art
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man steals 39 accordions worth $160,000. An entire nation rejoices
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Bats are not creepy and frightening, they are cute and huggable. There I said it
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Half-naked mother-of-three is arrested for chasing cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup. Why yes alcohol was involved
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to stealing $12,000 from the VFW to fuel his internet pornography habit. In other news, some people still think you have to pay for porn on the internet
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The end of the marijuana prohibition era may be upon us after the vote in California
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Alaska's first legal THC shop is known as "Herbal Outfitters" and opened at "High noon"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these folk dancers
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cool-looking game)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Welcome to my nightmare
source: escapekitchen.little-nightmares.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
How to live properly in a haunted house
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Hot dog stand explosion rocks neighborhood, making this the second weiner disaster this week
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
On this week's episode of Going Overboard: Amputating a leg due to ingrown toenail
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Finally Trump has his own scandal too, you see an investigation has revealed linens are not being washed between guests at his new Trump International Hotel. Ewwww
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There are still a lot of nobs in France
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Orchestra plays Rossini's "Guillaume Tell" and it gets a little dusty
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Another even bigger quake rocks central Italy. Dio mio
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
I'm pretty sure the Bible does not endorse beating children with coat hangers
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
25 years ago, a cliché was born
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
How about "pendejo?" Is that authentic enough for you? (Tag is for the professor)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's the Halloween Spectacular edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Tune in IF YOU DARE! (9PM AKDT/10PM PDT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
WWJD? Stealing and destroying other people's Halloween decorations isn't out of the question
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 29, 2016
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Need an excuse for Monday? ...how about the old, "I was bitten by a duck" excuse
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Funeral car impounded by cops after road tax 'passed away' some time ago
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pointing pals
source: lh6.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
The Bible teaches our kids humility, compassion, and to not make fun of a bald man, for he will summon bears that will eat you
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Coroner: Oops so I accidentally cremated the wrong man. They both had the same name
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Irish 'king of carboard tubes' to be buried in one: "You can use a boring drill to make the hole and bury people standing up, which is usual in some religions. You can bury them facing Rome, or Mecca or whatever way they want. It's very practical"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Missing man found in swamp, though that's fairly general considering the state is 90% swamp
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Americans will spend a record-breaking $8.4 billion on Halloween. The breakdown: $3.2 billion on thigh-high hosiery, $2.2 on Thor hammers, $2 billion even on bee costumes for dogs, $1 billion on Reese's peanut butter cups
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"No one over the age of thirteen should go Trick or Treating"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop something else into this nativity scene
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
A look back at the worst, deadliest gateway drug in history: candy cigarettes, which were big tobacco's way to lure children into becoming smokers
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
Although the suspect ran into the woods, he was later found by police K-9. It appeared he had run into a tree and knocked himself out
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"An Ohio man has admitted having sex with a van while it was parked on a public street before walking to a nearby garden and passing out"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Craft a sentence using the words "fluctuate," "gigolo," "polliwog," "extravagant," "fibrous," "poltroon," "emasculate," "underslung," "writhe," "plantation," "odiferous," "elongated," "sassafras," "mediocre," and "plantagenet"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Allteresting)
 
 
 
It's not news, but after the last year you have had, it's good to be reminded there are some nice people out there also
source: allteresting.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
America is in the midst of a hacking epidemic
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Texas Farkadocious 2: Electric Boogaloo. Join us tonight at The Flying Saucer in Ft. Worth
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago couple going through divorce forced to go to court over the last thing they ever thought would matter: Cubs World Series tickets
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCHS Charleston)
 
 
 
I STILL say it doesn't look like mom
source: wchstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Rule #1 of Stupid Fraternity Scavenger Hunt is to never let the scavenger list out of your possession. And who still does scavenger hunts anymore?
source: college.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girl, 4, befriends recent widower, 82, in what must have been a very dusty grocery store
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The definitive ranking of Halloween candy, which is quite good other than being completely and utterly WRONG. SMARTIES 4EVAR
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Avantree AptX Low Latency Bluetooth Headphones. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
We were told there'd be no math to get the WiFi at this Thai restaurant. Stop trolling the customers
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
In the spirit of the spooky season, the Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for recommendations on a little light reading ... as in, books you always read with all the lights on in the house. It's a Halloween of Horror, literary style
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ever wanted your very own mini submarine? Ever wondered how much cocaine you could fit in you very own mini submarine? We can't help with the first question, but the answer to the second one is 5,600 pounds
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Is that a weapon of mass destruction in your country's pocket, or are you just happy to have one of the world's deadliest weapons
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Like to wake up and have a cup of coffee with your deceased loved one? You can now get a coffee mug made from your dead loved one's ashes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these shrooms, dude
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
After only a year, American Airlines shows that it has completely forgotten the rules about service dogs on their aircraft
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Millennials aren't really cheap, they're just thrifty ...cause they're broke
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Halloween Farktography thread is up, but since we have to wait for the Halloween Scary Story thread, here's something to tide you over: the Halloween Caturday thread
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Finally a chart that lets you know how and when you'll likely die
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Now that's what I call fast food
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Come for the story of a man who attacked a woman and her little dog too. Stay for the mugshot of the year
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Teacher asks student to quit stabbing styrofoam dinosaur and then....wow. That escalated quickly
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Five myths about old people boinking. Not on list: It's gross
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Blue wives matter... when they frame the BLM movement
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 28, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Death, Taxes, and the Fark Quiz every Friday
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
Homestarrunner Halloween '16
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Rare Hebrew papyrus from the 7th century B.C. seized from looters in Israel. Library in charge of the document readies bill of $12 million for being 2700 years overdue
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Woman calls 911 about 600 times in a month, because, who doesn't like firetrucks? Ooh, shiny
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Maybe two exploding planes will distract the media from the emails
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lithuania issues manual on what to do if Russia invades. Step one: Bend over and grab ankles
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Cool: U.S. scientists find rare bacteria only ever previously found in southeast Asian wastewater. Gross: on a bus seat in San Francisco
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice auger
source: geteskimo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
American Airlines 383: Remember that safety briefing we just had? Time for a pop quiz on emergency evacuations
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Parents of the year asked to rescind their award after they left their 4 year old child at home alone, while they dressed as clowns to prank people
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
But at least you'll have a couple sheets of tin welded to an old truck to protect you from the homemade mortar shells built from old propane tanks
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reykjavik Grapevine (Iceland))
 
 
 
One of Iceland's most notorious criminals has four legs and a taste for dried fish fillets
source: grapevine.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The origins of why black cats are maligned as 'witches' on Halloween and why they need to be kept inside during this holiday
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Legal wizzes to determine which bathroom it's legal to whiz in
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Tract)
 
 
 
Now that Jack Chick has passed, photoshop some new Chick Tracts for the coming years
source: i.kinja-img.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Although it took until just 3 days before Halloween, we finally have our first kid this year who got her head stuck in a pumpkin
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner's smartphone causing embarrassment again
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
First rule of climbing the George Washington Bridge. Don't fark with the morning commute into NYC
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Branch Dildonians were acquitted because the jury didn't know what the definition of "conspiracy" was
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
'Clown Lives Matter' rally cancelled amid threats of violence
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
American and Russian jets get dangerously close over Syria. Details are classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Let's just say the pilots were communicating. Keeping up foreign relations
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Purse snatcher in NYC picked the wrong holocaust survivor to fark with. Bonus: Her comments about Trump
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Philippines president says God told him to stop swearing. No word when God will ask him to stop murdering people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Surprise
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Bundy acquittal so ridiculous even his own attorney is stunned. By U.S. Marshals
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pope Francis reaches out to religious extremist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bury Free Press (UK))
 
 
 
Red-faced council officials have apologised after sending a letter to residents directing them to a porn site to register as voters
source: buryfreepress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: No, not a trick. There really is a Food Thread this week and it's all about tasty treats for Halloween. Do you make anything festive for parties or for the kids? It doesn't even need to be pumpkin-based
source: bigbearswife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
'Lestat's tomb' in New Orleans is getting a much-needed makeover, own CW show
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Yes Mr Kim sir, your missile failures are definitely caused by spies. They are absolutely, totally, 100% unconnected with the fact the people building the missiles are slaves who are forbidden from sleeping
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Gators, sharks, pythons, brain-eating amoebas, poisonous lionfish - Why not throw in some dirty, stinky monkeys?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just another children's beauty pageant - the lavish costumes, the nervous parents, the three-year-old with a fake tan
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Toronto mayor on the $1.9 million the city spent on penis pills, "It stiffens my resolve." Subby would have gone with , "At least we didn't spend it on hookers and blow this time"
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
John Lennon's 'Imagine' called the worst song of all time. "I think it's the whole idea of talking about poverty and misery, while John was actually hanging around in his palatial New York townhouse"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Yes it's kind of a letdown thinking you've won $43 million in a slot machine only to find out the machine is actually broken
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin says, straight-faced, Russia does not have a propaganda machine like the west does, though he "regrets" not having one
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bedroom scene
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You know you're a delicate flower if your hair stylist accidentally scrapes your neck during a cutting and you sue for $5 million because you suffered from pain, shock, and mental anguish
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
High school bans costumes for Halloween after two kids decide the confederate flag makes awesome capes. Stay classy Indiana
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bizarre propaganda video from Best Korea shows Kim Jong-Un supposedly flying a plane and shooting guns - all while a breathless narrator tries to suppress her excitement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The "CLOSE DOOR" button on elevators is purely decorative
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when you discover Dad was filming your teacher's gyrating buttocks instead of you dancing with your nursery school class
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you want your kids to excel in math you have to give them the finger
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Can't pay your $200 fine? Do not pass Go. Go directly to jail
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
If you keep robbing the same 7-Eleven over and over again, eventually the cops will figure out the pattern and catch you
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 27, 2016
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The most San Francisco crime ever: Spraypainting a person's Tesla with Tesla's after-hours stock price
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
'Note to bong-smoking hose thieves'
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
These Romanian kidnappers clearly studied at the Dr Evil school of hostage negotiation
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Florida Man with "family" tattoo on neck points gun at sister for ruining ecstasy stash (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
I see your bisexual English vicar and raise you a Serbian Orthodox priest charged with hiring a juvenile prostitute and drug offenses. Not-rare-at-all clerics gone bad trifecta in play
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
That feeling when you remember you're supposed to beat the crap out of the shark attacking you
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Bisexual Church of England vicar sacked over orgies and prostitutes after wife exposes his double life
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Eight men charged with stealing 23,000 iPhones worth $6.8M. Luckily, these were only 5 and 6s, as if they'd been iPhone 7s the combination of cop math and Apple prices would have run the universe out of numbers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here is a great story that includes a bachelor party in the woods, a hungry momma dog and her seven puppies, some tough guys giving up their beer money to save the dogs and bacon. What more could you ask for?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine a model rocket, a butane lighter, a USS Voyager model, an undying love for "The Fifth Element," and 17 years of effort? Adam Savage's finally completed movie accurate Zorg ZF-1 replica
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual Halloween mask
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Just wait until the Mormon Mafia brings you funeral potatoes
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Branch Dildonians found not guilty, still dildos
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
China and Saudi Arabia hold dual 'anti-terror' drills, possibly to share notes on the best ways to drive tanks over unruly mobs
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsThump (UK))
 
 
 
Destruction of Walk Of Fame star leaves Donald Trump down to his last six Horcruxes
source: newsthump.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Running a wildlife sanctuary and a swingers club? That's a big no no according to the State of Colorado which orders the wildlife sanctuary immediately closed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
White boy from Michigan who claims to be the Islamic messiah, and the Jewish one, too, gets arrested in Tunisia on suspicion of terrorism. "Christians hates me because they know Jesus when they see him"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Groups of conservatives are largely influenced by parasites. This is not a repeat from the Politics tab
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Woman who distrusts banks but had faith in humanity kept 100 gold bars in her bedroom. Let's see how that worked out for her
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mexicans staying away from cemeteries for Day of the Dead celebrations because they're becoming too interactive
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
As Halloween approaches, strong takes from the Atlantic today: Milk chocolate rules, dark chocolate drools and is a Marxist nightmare. And let's not forget the albino abomination that is white chocolate
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
One way to reduce robocalls: Don't let 800-numbers make them
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this time to laugh
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 5 Arizona)
 
 
 
Using a blow torch to remove weeds seemed like a good idea
source: cbs5az.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle)
 
 
 
Woman crashes into police car while Snapchatting topless selfie to boyfriend
source: theeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia's Admiral Kuznetsov, denied fuel in Spain, apparently given more coal and oars off North Africa
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Taco Bell: "You get a free taco. And you get a free taco, And you get a free taco"
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Guardian has launched a contest to help British readers understand small-town and rural America. Bet you can tell some stories that wouldn't be fit to print, so go
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Scientists just opened Jesus' tomb again. He's still not in there
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A drunken roll in the hay will produce idiot children," and other Victorian myths about sex
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Mexican avocado growers are withholding fruit from the US for higher prices, stoking fury north of the border. REMEMBER THE AVOCADO
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Putin slams reports that claim Russia is going to attack Europe
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Apparently, it's the 'affirmative action bake sale' time of year again
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Delta releases new app to track your luggage, letting you see in real-time when it falls off the cart, gets run over by the catering truck, wins second place in the bag handler's free-throw competition, and finally arrives in Antarctica
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Got invited to a Halloween costume party this Saturday and I don't have any costume ideas. Need some suggestions for a costume I could make. Help
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Well-built Finnish giant' arrested in pressed ham murder of British tourist in Spain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Wife buys scratch-off to teach husband lottery is a waste of money, wins $1 million. Husband seen researching community property laws
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you're vandalizing somebody's home you're really leaving a mixed message by scrawling both 'KKK' and the Star of David on a wall
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Forget the white and gold or blue and black dress - is this Bill Murray or Tom Hanks?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this holy ceremony
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Iowa man decides to randomly show up at his former elementary school. Fark: To donate $700 to cover lunch bills for kids who can't afford to pay
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
An exploration of why so many people seem to have gone a little guano-psychotic in recent times. Short answer: constant fear-mongering induces anxiety and changes your brain, not for the better
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Man adopted from Korea at age 3 and living in the U.S. for 37 years discovers his parents never filed for citizenship. 안녕히 계세요
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
I want my... I want my... I want my Trump TV. I want my... I want my... I want my derp for free
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Everyone who survived last year's #BeforeIDie party is invited back for another chance
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not news: Afghan girl arrested. News: "Afghan girl" arrested
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ten words that don't mean what they used to, you bimbo
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 5 Arizona)
 
 
 
Has anyone seen Dean, the four-foot South American tegu lizard with razor-sharp teeth? "This is weird. I don't know why someone would steal such an exotic pet. I don't know"
source: cbs5az.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
"Manatee middle-schooler charged with battery in cell phone case," wrote the headline editor dryly
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study announces breakthrough in care of children with autism. Which is good, because not everybody can afford to hire a ridiculous team of Scorpion supergeniuses to overthink simple problems every week
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
After hearing of cyber-groping in their VR, companies create an anti-pervert force field
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 599: "Hallowe'en 8". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 26, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Girl who believes that love lasts forever gets her boyfriend's name tattooed on her forehead
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
If your 8-year-old picks up a dead squirrel on the way to school and tells the teacher it's for making squirrel dumplings that night ... you might be a redneck
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man should know better than to leave a pickaxe lying around when doing meth with his buddy
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
An Arkansas woman used her position in a county judge's office to spend almost $200,000 of public money on personal items including a tuxedo for her dog
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
According to the CDC this year's flu season is starting earlier than usual and the dominant strain is stronger than last year's. Just get the damn flu shot already
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Goofy bastard tries to slip into Disney World with a loaded semi-auto
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Qantas pilots fume over stricter uniform standards. No handlebar mustaches? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Generally, you just pay for the lap dance with cash
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Think you could survive sitting next to your spouse in a car for 103 days and 30,000 miles? Well that's what it will take to break the new world's record for longest road trip in a single country
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunday World)
 
 
 
Uganda's most unusual looking man finally gets diagnosis and a career in African pop music
source: sundayworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Italy getting set to jail another batch of seismologists
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Having trouble coming up with a costume for Halloween? Check out Princess Cumulus Thunderstorm
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Respect for police is at an all time high in the US per a Gallup poll. A couple more shootings should push that number close to 100%
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Unpopular ice cream cone toppings
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
When I was your age, we had to climb an 800 meter cliff to go to school, and all we had was rotten VINES to hang on to. We didn't have any of these fancy metal ladders to climb, and we LIKED it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
A map of the United States...with every October clown sighting
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Here are 16 dogs with better Halloween costumes than you
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
It's always a surprise as to what you're gonna get when you pop quarters into a toy vending machine, but there are some prizes that no parent wants dispensed to their kid. Like blood pressure medication
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Researchers invent 'perfect' soap molecule that is better for the environment. Your roommate will still never hear about this
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The secret to being happy has been revealed and it's impossible
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KITV Honolulu)
 
 
 
♫ All we need is music, sweet music / There'll be music everywhere / There'll be people singing, my dick swinging / Dancing in the street ♪
source: kitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, somewhere in deep black Siberia, a meteorite rammed into Earth
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The perfect Halloween costume
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Secretary of Defense suspends efforts to claw back enlistment bonuses from California National Guard troops. Thanks, Obama
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Rule one of protesting: Don't fark with the morning commute in NYC
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian naval power on full display as their coal powered carrier begs for fuel in Spain after squeezing under a Danish bridge and skulking through the English channel
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
You can now get venison at Arby's
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Samsung wireless charging stand for Qi-enabled smartphones. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Small rural town WWE matches now on hold after Frankie the Farmer used metal chair on Wyld Beaver and killed him. Mean Gene inconsolable
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(High Times)
 
 
 
"You're more likely to catch Ebola than receive a pot-laced candy this Halloween." Goddammit
source: hightimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio has been formally charged with criminal contempt
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
We've narrowed down the suspects to... almost everyone"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Here's everything you wanted to know about candy corn, the official eat-last bag ballast of Halloween
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
What's the matter, ex-boyfriend got your tongue?
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Man steals Torah scrolls valued at $200,000 from Brooklyn synagogue. Suspect described as a cleric with +85 spell power
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Why the Chinese no longer bite wax tadpoles
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When the power goes out and the internet disappears and your smart phone is worthless, it's comforting to know a human Google still works at the New York public library
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
NATO will press allies on Wednesday to contribute to its biggest military build-up on Russia's borders since the Cold War as the alliance prepares for a protracted quarrel with Moscow
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I need to write. I need to write. I need to write. No time to write a Fark headline, I need to write write write. *scampers away* THIS is your Fark Writers Thread, "mad hatter" edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Want to give trick-or-treaters something other than full-sized Mars bars this Halloween? Four words: chocolate dipped brussels sprouts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RSPB)
 
 
 
Photoshop somewhere more interesting for this magpie to fly
source: rspb.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gateway Pundit)
 
 
 
Adoptive parents of 12 year old Afghan boy learn that he is really a 21 year old Taliban trained Islamic terrorist. "But Rosie soon had her suspicions about her "humble, polite" guest after noticing how hairy he was"
source: thegatewaypundit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mullet meme teen to sue media outlets for mocking his hairstyle. Judge's decision pending the outcome of a possible Fark photoshop competition
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS8 San Diego)
 
 
 
72 years ago yesterday, 13 USN ships faced off with a larger IJN fleet including Yamato, which by itself outweighed the U.S. force "This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can"
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Energy Agency)
 
 
 
International Energy Agency: Renewables surpassed coal last year to become the largest source of installed power capacity in the world
source: iea.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Armed murder suspect who live streamed escape may be headed to Las Vegas to spread his communicable disease, because of course he is
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
♩ 56 years have passed since I wrote my note....it was a goof right from the start ♪ ..... 1,500 miles later...... ♪ found by a tourist far away, and returned to my daughter's heart. ♬
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The phone hacking firm that broke the San Bernardino iPhone just learned a very expensive lesson in security as their product manuals and code leaked online
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
2016 claims aviation legend R.A. "Bob" Hoover, who famously demonstrated that a barrel roll is 1G maneuver by pouring a cup of iced tea while doing one. The hardest part he said? Pouring back handed. Godspeed sir
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Great news for anyone looking to purchase the world's largest log cabin. The price has been slashed from $40 million down to $19.5 million (but only if you are willing to settle for about 4,600 fewer acres of property)
source: realestate.mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Here's how to spend $20,000 on decorating your home for Halloween. That will at least scare the hell out of your fiscally conservative spouse
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
In other news, we have nuclear power plants still using pagers
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 25, 2016
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
The Romero Research Institute reminds us that dogs eat poop, and letting one lick your face exposes you to massive amounts of bacteria, viruses, and parasites
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Surfer bitten at beach says shark 'came out of nowhere.' Investigators suspect the ocean
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Central Tribune)
 
 
 
Former mayor pleads guilty to burglarizing current mayor, but says firing a gun through his sunroof was justified because corpses were chasing him
source: wctrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Oklahoma man has made the prosecutors job easier thanks to a habit of posting to Facebook Live. Now they just need to find him
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man runs himself over while leaving strip club, crashes truck into house and flees, no doubt to the inevitable soundtrack of Florida Man: Yakkety Sax
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Church of Latter Day Saints opens new website "Mormon and Gay" to increase awareness of homosexuality amongst LDS parents, family, friends. Remember, "[b]eing gay is not a sin; just acting on it is"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you lost your torpedo stuffed with £4.5m worth of 'Playboy' cocaine then the Irish authorities would like a word
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"OK, I think that wraps up this financial audit meeting ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. *cough* oh by the way we can't account for 80 million dollars *cough* Please, grab some coffee and donuts on your way out
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
AT&T is spying on you for profit. Well, why else would they be spying on you? It's not like you do anything exciting
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(D Magazine)
 
 
 
Cocaine, LSD and Neurosurgery? If only he had a sing along blog
source: dmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this welcoming cabin
source: abcamping.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
Remember that selfie that Justin Timberlake took at a voting booth in Memphis? Now he's being investigated by the local District Attorney for possible election-law violation
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
'Silky' the hairless hamster has been adopted. What does a hairless hamster look li--GAAAAAAAAAHHH
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Beer for the dead
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Press)
 
 
 
Man serving as his own lawyer in murder case surprised to find his 'price of tea in China' objection overruled. Also, is convicted on all counts, surprising no one but him
source: dailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite plane will sing the BRRRRRRRRRRRP of its people for a long, long time
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Even virtual reality isn't an escape from unwanted groping by drooling morons
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Women are drinking more than ever before, "and we're not talking Hogarth-style Gin Lane reprobates, but middle-class mums, counting down the hours from the school run till six"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Tufts University (as if that's a real place) Campus police to investigate "offensive" Halloween costumes. So don't wear a Hillary mask
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"I was there to party myself. It was guys with younger girls, sex, a lot of sex, a lot of cocaine, top-shelf liquor but no smoking. Trump didn't approve of cigarettes"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Jersey Man who jumped to death off a bridge while holding his two sons wrote about the joys of fatherhood. Before he apparently changed his mind
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Mom, I think my friends like you more than me." "Aww, don't say that dear. Why?" "Well, you're blowing them and buy them booze, for starters"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
British Airways Flight diverted after crew falls ill. Roger Murdock is getting tired of busting his buns dragging Clarence Oveur to his destination each night
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these playful pilots
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Sheriff's Association puts out warning about Halloween candy like "Pot Tarts" and "Zonka Bars"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Vatican issues some guidelines on cremation, saying they should stick together
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Researchers mapping Black Sea find 'astonishingly preserved' shipwrecks, some as many as 1,000 years old
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
The Ark Encounter claims to have had 400,000 visitors since opening in July, although strict interpreters of the Bible say that number should be reduced by a factor of 10,000
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
"I think there is a monster under my bed." "No it isn't, it is just a dead body that has been there for over a week"
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Drunk 22-year-old man on a lawnmower threatens police with a knife and uses his son a human shield. The only way this story could be more Indiana is if he was wearing a Pacers jersey. (Link has mugshot goodness)
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British Renault driver pulled over for driving 129 mph. When questioned, he told officers he was rushing home to keep his McDonald's drive-thru meal from getting cold, particularly the chips which are just so nasty when lukewarm, am I right?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: it is technically not a crime to ring doorbells at 3AM and demand money, although you may end up getting your ass kicked
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Kentucky governor bars state workers from wearing flip flops and bare midriffs. Three tooth minimum remains in place
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Explosion detected in Alaska's Cleveland Volcano, causing scientists to raise the warning level to BLACKWATCH PLAID
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
A 70-year-old sex tourist who looks exactly like you'd expect convicted for exactly what you suspect
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Gyrocopter that landed on Capital lawn to be destroyed. Lord Humungus nods in approval
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Ig Nobel prize winner discusses why he researched 3-D perception by having subjects look between their own legs, what lifetime of studying psychology taught him, why he admires his wife, and how he would get an elephant into a refrigerator
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Martian Notifier Smartwatch. Not a UFO tracker. Disappointed. (Amazon reviewers seem to like it though). (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Police facial recognition software is just as accurate as real police
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
New bride's Snapchat posts result in marriage annulment after two hours
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russia's new nuclear ICBM is named Satan-2 and a single one can destroy an area the size of France. Sleep well, citizen
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flour loving dancer
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Scientists find a cure for mice greenlighting Fark headlines
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australian theme parks are no longer going to stand idly by while the flora and fauna of the country gets all of the press for trying to kill everyone
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Remaining 49 states catch STDs, possibly from California. That slut
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Protip: No matter what country you hail from, if you see a man fail to stand for your national anthem, make sure his chair doesn't have wheels before smacking the back of his head
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heat Street)
 
 
 
White professor claims that "canoeing" is cultural appropriation and you are racist if you disagree
source: heatst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guinness World Records)
 
 
 
Pretty sure when this Saskatoon plumber shows up at your door he's just there to fix the pipes. Since he's 92 of course
source: guinnessworldrecords.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Finally a cure for jet lag that doesn't include three Bloody Marys, two Ambiens, and a visit from a hooker working the airport hotel circuit
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Bittersweet and sour news as Frank Galatolie, the creator of Sour Patch Kids, has died at 74
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Church with the world's tallest tower begs the public to stop urinating and vomiting on the stone base
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today I Found Out)
 
 
 
Let's give $100,000 to this homeless guy and see what happens
source: todayifoundout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you think your job is tough, imagine trying to run a food truck in Alaska in the winter. "Everyone had this idea of 'why are you out?' "
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
The Worst Halloween Costumes of 2016. Come for the Sexy Harambe. Stay you will for the Sexy Yoda
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So, that attack on a police college in Pakistan that killed over 30 students today just slipped under everybody's radar?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
First Nations artisan still wants restitution from Canadian North for damage to two 31-kg polar bear carvings loaded as baggage on Ottawa-Inuvik flight. "They're neglecting my art and I'm not happy about it"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 24, 2016
(UPI)
 
 
 
"On the bright side, we got great gas mileage"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
I'd really like to study the traffic patterns in the city. I wonder how best to do that? I know, I'll dress up as a tree and stand in the middle of traffic
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Sadly, Baby Jesus will no longer look like Maggie Simpson
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
California caught the STDs. All of them apparently
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Hey, let's start feeding the horde of raccoons living under our porch. What could possibly go wrong?
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jared Fogle's ex-wife sues Subway claiming they knew for years about his problem, yet kept sending him to elementary schools
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
What's the point of buying a Titanic key to a life-jacket locker at auction, it's not like you're going to use it. That ship sailed and sank long ago
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Man misses out on 50/50 draw prize under long settled legal concept 'you snooze, you lose'
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Soon.
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man arrested for stealing goods from Walmart to sell so he could bail wife out of jail. Now they can spend even more time together
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The Walloons are real and spectacularly Belgian. Here are eight things you probably didn't know about those miserable fat Frenchy bastards, in particular their claim on Audrey Hepburn as Wallonian celebrity
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this phyllorhiza punctata
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Congratulations, you've just passed a 7 pound, 3 ounce kidney stone
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Just in time for the hot phase of the election: Alt Right conspiracy image generator
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
AT&T CEO promises to not mess with the "culturally significant" journalism of CNN if its acquisition of Time Warner goes through. Well, that's the easiest promise in the world to make
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
A word of advice to any health professionals out there. Next time you hook a tube up to the oxygen, check first to make sure it's not a catheter tube, OK? Cause, you know, that would be unfortunate
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
You know when your university has too much HIV being transmitted around campus is when there's HIV testing kits in the vending machines
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neiman Marcus)
 
 
 
New to the Neiman Marcus Christmas catalog for 2016: a rose-gold plated Cobalt Valkyrie-X private plane for $1.5M
source: neimanmarcus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FL Keys News)
 
 
 
It's a sex toy. It's a gun. Wait, it's two things in one
source: flkeysnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Car thief repeatedly steals couple's £120,000 Range Rover to pick up girls, returning it every morning clean and with a full tank of petrol
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nonsensical academic paper on nuclear physics written only by iOS autocomplete has been accepted for scientific conference. This could be a great metaphor for US election
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
"Seriously, [Trump Tower] is like a giant metaphor museum"
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Chick Tracts now being subjected to empirical testing
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
China to use mass surveillance system to rate its citizens on everything from paying bills on time to taking care of elderly parents, affecting everything from their ability to travel to their ability to date
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
A showdown between Russia and the U.S. increasingly looks as unavoidable as "The Hunt for Red October" memes in this thread
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Things you didn't know existed in the desert beyond Cairo: Fun Valley, a collection of Chinese theme parks that include robotic dinosaurs for kids to ride, Imperial stormtroopers guarding waterslides, and bumper cars with lasers
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this refrigerator-worthy childhood drawing
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Christopher Marlowe now considered a co-writer on three of Shakespeare's Henry VI plays
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Bodies of missing duck hunters recovered from lake. Police reportedly on lookout for snickering dog
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Scary: Woman arrested for DUI after driving wrong way in I-4. Fark: While carrying loaded guns, handcuffs, multiple driver's licenses. Better remember her mugshot, people
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Report calls Washington State grossly unprepared for magnitude 9 earthquake and tsunami, suggesting that residents will be cut off by destroyed infrastructure, fallen bridges, and roads choked with SyFy Channel writers desperate for more material
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
All right, class, whoever brought the uranium in for show and tell, please get it out of here
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Belgium says they cannot sign an EU free-trade pact with Canada because of staunch regional opposition from its Walloons. The rest of Europe accuses Belgium of making those guys up, and says they should create a more convincing name next time
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
"Get off my lawn." "Oh no you didn't"
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Annoying kid spoiling your meal at a restaurant? Don't worry, the cops are there
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
As subby continues to disappoint his family by producing 0 grandchildren, a woman in Turkey is up to 415
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Church apologizes and asks for forgiveness after banning fat people from its "worship team"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Iraq just banned the sale and consumption of alcohol. Iraq is a direct threat to the American way of life
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
When the wrongfully convicted are exonerated and released from prison, there is no system in place to reintroduce them to society, iPhones, Zihuatenejo
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
An expanding threat from Meal Team 6, the inherent risk of being a bricklayer, and Chancellor Gorkon in jeopardy: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/16 - 10/22
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
An old STP sticker, the memory of a cap-gun-toting hippie named "Deputy Dawg," a rogue marshal and a 45-year-old grudge somehow led to a bomb that failed to detonate 11 times being planted outside of a police station
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Anti-war activist and well-known agitator Tom Hayden has died at 76
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Pay What You Want e-learning - Amazon Cloud info and Git protocol. Pay more than you want and unlock more courses. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, poacher-fighting dogs can fly
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this retaliation
source: s3.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The EU's chief Brexit negotiator irritates the UK by demanding the talks be conducted entirely in French
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Legendary climber Junko Tabei, world's first woman to summit Everest and six other mega-mountains, dies at 77 of cancer. Alpine for her
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
It's like, gone, in a puff of smoke, man
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How bad are things going for Donald Trump? Residents who live in his swanky New York high-rise complex "Trump Place" are petitioning to remove his name from the building because they're tired of all their friends making fun of it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman who has been extensively traveling for 10 years, finds free accommodations and almost never pays for hotels. Yes, there's a way to live around the world without emptying your bank account
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
One of the few times in life when you get blackout drunk and are rewarded for your responsibility
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"So I am just about to leave for work about 12:30 and me neighbour says 'You want to see something cool' and I say 'hell yeah'"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
THIS is what happens when you publicly shame your girlfriend for her driving skills in Florida
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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