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Sun October 02, 2016
(CNN)
 
 
 
Venezuelans are flying to the U.S. to buy toilet paper, soap, toothpaste, beans, corn flour, tuna fish, mayonnaise and aspirin
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hamster death sparks riot
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create a logo for a new soft drink (LGT current logos)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Months-long undercover drug sting nets 5 grams of weed, 2 pills. Congratulations, everyone. That should really put the squeeze on local dope heads
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
New book reveals the common foods we're all mispronouncing the names of. Except for subby, who is the kind of food prat you don't ask for dinner twice
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Turns out you don't have to be crazy to be shot by police, but it certainly helps
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Syrian refugee terrorizes Canadian crisis, making it dusty in here. An' Coulter agrees
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Denver police need money to get them through times of more dope more than they need dope to get them through times of no money
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
A Mustang with a douche at the wheel does what all Mustangs do with a douche at the wheel
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
♫ Smoke on the water, fire in the sky ♫
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this teeny tiny little house
source: cdn.mediacom87.netdna-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
In other news, the UAE had a navy
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Two injured after e-cigarette explodes on the Hogwarts Express. Apparently, some muggle didn't get the memo that you can't use electronics around wizards
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman helps homeless man by giving him: A) a place to sleep. B) money to buy food. C) a gym membership
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
"Mommy has a special place for that right here," didn't make the list
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Pull up a spewed on stool and have a sloppy drink inside Sammy's Bowery Follies, the scuzziest, greatest dive bar of all time
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Zoolz 1TB lifetime cloud storage. Difficulty: There is no Dana, only Zool. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Possession of a dairy crate? That's an arresting
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
When the title of a blog piece starts "This is not a humblebrag," you know that's exactly what it is. Now go and make your precious, non-McNugget-eating snowflakes some organic kale chips
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Want to strike it rich? Here's your world map of seven treasure troves yet to be found. X marks the spot
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Hurricane warning issued for Jamaica, Haiti, Cuba as Matthew churns in Caribbean. "Florida still needs to remain alert," according to the National Hurricane Center
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shy octopus
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBD Lubbock)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Asking someone out
source: kcbd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The definition of a good friend now includes lending your pants to a girl so she can take a school quiz
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dear Leader)
 
 
 
Nearly $30M in emergency aid needed to provide for 600,000 North Koreans in wake of typhoon. If only there were some way their leaders could have reduced other spending and be more able to respond to disasters
source: reliefweb.int   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
Awwwww... what could be cuter than watching a baby panda sleep? How about 23 of them sleeping with one faceplanting off the stage
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This conveniently located, three-bedroom apartment comes with unbeatable rent and includes free cable, off-street parking, and a grandma
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Roads are getting safer, and that's because there are more women drivers than there have ever been before
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue woman with her ass stuck in grocery cart
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 01, 2016
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The endless debate. East vs. West. In-N-Out Burger vs. Shake Shack - who will win?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Instead of using a boot to immobilize a car for unpaid tickets, why not stick on a device that blocks the view through the windshield? What can go wrong?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
915 million reasons why Trump won't release his tax records
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"How can we put taste back into British food?"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sausages containing natural viagra go on sale
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Three states fail to save the internet
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Half a million households in the United States don't have a pot to piss in
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Daycare under investigation for implementing a no smack, no snack policy
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
egami rorrim siht pohsotohP
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Try not to spend your five cent raise all in one place
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Officer who killed Terence Crutcher pleads not guilty, claims she had to shoot him because she was temporarily deaf
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Excuse me store owner, how much for the dead people?"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
New reports reveal MH370 should never have flown, increasing CNN's news boner to such lengths they can't even report on it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
It's the largest prison strike in history and likely the first you're hearing about it
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
We've been over this many times before, but once again let us remind you that if you're going to pretend to be a police officer, you may not want to try and pull over a real cop
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red light district
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The Double Down begat the Zest Citrus Wings which begat the Doritos Locos Taco which begat the hot dog-stuffed pizza crust
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
With ISIS contained and drugs eradicated, the government wages its newest war. On pudding. Fark: Not America
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Quiet Guy)
 
 
 
Audience member asks a question of speaker, and then attempts to reply to the speaker. Armed guards haul off the audience member and arrest an intervening librarian. Librarian? Yes, this happened at a public library
source: linkis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Monument dedicated to the Staten Island Ferry giant octopus attack
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Green Bay Press Gazette)
 
 
 
Man steals a dozen cars to impress meth addicted son. What a meth-take
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Shut up and take my money, dude...and do you happen to have any munchies?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
The police fulfill a 102-year-old woman's fantasy of being arrested
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
How can a missing 5-gallon barrel be worth $1,565,000? Simple - it contains 86 pounds of gold
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Missing your mail in Tennessee? You might want to check your postal worker's house
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Take away my legroom, charge me for carry-ons, but don't you dare run out of free booze inside your exclusive airport lounge
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
My jingle has a first name, it's R-I-C-H-A-R-D. My jingle has a second name it's T-R-E-N-T-L-A-G-E
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for some advice on a good "how to" book. Which one(s) helped you the most?
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The good news is you can still settle on unclaimed land not ruled by a government. The bad news is the land exists on a strip of desert between Egypt and Sudan
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Could internet pranksters be behind all the creepy clown sightings?
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this room with a view
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Student manhandled, arrested over stealing "free" milk
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYC police finally catch the yodeling suspect who made death threats on police radios and some police-impersonating robbers in an unrelated case ...all with just one arrest. That's some fine police work, Lou
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not so good: four tiny kittens experience a rough and tumble introduction to life after being born in an industrial dryer. Better: they are safely rescued. Best: being reunited with their mother in time for Caturday
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hurricane Matthew is a Category 5 storm, will wreak havoc on Caribbean. Will the U.S. be next?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, my best friend got me to sleep with her fella just for fun, but now the joke's on her because I'm falling for him for the fabulous sex
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Is your dog's Halloween costume sexist?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Inquirer)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Mad Frenchman dumps a load from his heavy balls all over Apple store's iPhone 7s"
source: theinquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Woman calls Pasadena(CA) Police to report bi-polar African American boyfriend is acting erratically, cops find him with knife & fire extinguisher. Can you guess what happend next? Level Of Difficulty: not crowned Rose Queen
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Hacker gives commuters a thrill with porn video on digital billboard. That commute is so long and hard, it's always slow down and speed up, until you finally finish on the offramp
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Ohio resident wasn't expecting pulp in her orange juice. She didn't get it either
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Forget the Paris climate agreement, scientists now say the only way to stay below 2 degrees is a far more 'radical change' before 2050
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozy)
 
 
 
Forget Noah's Ark. This park has everything, including Confederates fighting dinosaurs
source: ozy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 30, 2016
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Great Dane who ate girl's pants among 11 finalists for 'Hambone' insurance award
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy Friday, everybody. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, and it's the best. Everybody says what a really great quiz it is. Really the best quiz there is, that's what they say
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Scientists have just documented the first case of Zika spreading through physical contact. Lather, rinse, repeat
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Over 8% of the population of Norway eats tacos every Friday; meanwhile, Mexico reports no plans to engage in reciprocal lutefisk consumption
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India attacks across the Line of Control, 2 Pakistan soldiers killed, 1000 villages evacuated, but hey, it's not like they are going to start a war
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man who punched 5 day-old baby in the face, then claimed he thought it was a doll, was in court today. Says, I'm a family man and I was horrified that I'd punched a real baby. Ok, it was weird that I'd still want to punch some stranger's doll
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
Fark: Man punches wife after she exposes her breasts to another man. Farker: The man was her doctor. Farkest: She was breastfeeding her newborn son. Bonus: He also slapped the baby
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
How awesome is Albert Einstein? He helped bring electricity to the oldest and most traditional Oktoberfest tent in Munich that's still standing
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over, the Peep strike has ended
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Slow news day. Let's see what our kids are up to, shall we? Kids: ***water bottles fly through the air*** Parents: "It's an epidemic" Schools: "MAKE IT STOP" Youtube: "Cool flip, bro"
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump watched Paris Hilton's sex tape, then asked her to host his Miss USA pageant. "I hate what happened with that sex tape, but it only made her hotter"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Police issue warning for clowns on Long Island to get back in their clown cars and stop jumping in front of other cars
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
When considering possible reasons to break into someone's house, 'to shave my head' doesn't usually come to mind
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
200 small earthquakes under the Salton Sea in California. Nearby San Andrea fault holding for now. Seismologists give 1 in 100 chance of a big one this week. Everybody can panic but it's really too late
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
British man hits the Antiques Roadshow jackpot
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
"Hey, we noticed some of the residents at your nursing home seem to be abused." "Oh, that, yeah that was poltergeists"
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia condemns US 9/11 law, warns of 'consequences.' What are they gonna do, fly a plane into--oh
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Remember all those fat, lazy blob people being carted around in self-propelled armchairs in "Wall-E"? Well, Nissan apparently thought that was a good idea
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Under the FOIA, FBI releases two truckloads of Nikola Tesla's e-mails
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Denzel Washington takes plea deal in strangling of Aretha Franklin
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Erdogan looks off Turkey's coast and notes that some Greek islands are really quite spiffy
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Product warning stickers we really need
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Alicia Machado didn't appear in a porn movie, but you'll never guess which major party candidate actually did
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Oh hell no, China. Who do you think you are, Japan?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When Jack Nicklaus designed the Skyhill Country Club in South Korea, he forgot to put in missile battery sites around the bunkers, but that's been rectified
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh man's cock continues to get him in trouble, given 30 days to get it under control
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Add clowns to active shooters and Islamic terrorists as reasons to close school
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Two priceless Van Gogh paintings discovered in a Naples, Italy farmhouse and no one wants to claim ownership
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russian charity's 'Do good' Christmas leaflets end up saying 'Exterminate Beavers' because Cyrillic is hard
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man finds porn playing on TV screens in McDonald's, has hard time getting Grimace off his face
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Red clay bricks are selling for up to $1,000 on eBay because people are dumb
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the pages of the Bangor Daily News: Man uses cardboard frozen-food container and sharpie to fake his state auto inspection sticker
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
First rule of baby fight club is you don't talk about baby fight club
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat rollin' down the highway
source: s7d2.scene7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Woman who bid $50,000 for the right to punch Pharma Bro in the face backs out, Bro looking for new fist
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
♫ London's bridge is closing up. Closing up. Closing up ♫
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The University of Michigan now allows students to indicate their preferred pronouns on class rosters. So of course this guy chooses "His Majesty"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
DC is getting serious about getting rid of congress
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Dude, that's a long pole. Shouldn't we rent a flatbed truck or someth--" "Whatever. Just throw it in the truck we have and get it to the worksite." "But--" "Did I stutter?"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Walking down the beach while wearing nothing but a homemade bikini fashioned out of clear plastic wrap is no way to go through life, grandpa
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
One loose cannon sinks 241 years of Navy tradition
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
A 9-year-old genius who breezed through high school is wanting to become an astrophysicist and provide proof of God
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
2016 claims another victim. This time, New York's iconic Carnegie Deli
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Male farker here with semi-longish hair. I'm getting it cut after work and I want to make a change. Suggest some good ideas for me
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time to book your trip to EuroFark 2016: Sept 30 - Oct 2 - Berlin, Germany
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Everything you need to know about renting a goat, a cow, or a donkey
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
If you have to steal and you have to smoke pot then you are going to forget things, like your photo ID, at the scene of the crime (with "I'm not at all stoned" photo goodness)
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Philippine president and ITG Duterte says he would be happy to slaughter all three million drug addicts in his country
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Indian carpenters
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The cake was a lie
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump quadruples down on the Miss Universe controversy by encouraging us all to 'Check out sex tape'
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Federal court finally answers the age-old legal question: Am I allowed to take a selfie in the voting booth?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby panda isn't fooled by the panda suit soaked in panda urine
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Homeowner builds a wall of electricity to electrocute neighbor who has been stealing his Trump signs
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Willamette Week)
 
 
 
Owners of the feminist bookstore portrayed on Portlandia share thoughts about Portlandia that completely live up to the expectations set by Portlandia
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 29, 2016
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why it takes so long for trains in Japan to start running again after an accident? Unlike the West, they don't just to hose off the tracks and get things moving again
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU) says condoms might come in 'handy' if aliens decide to 'visit earth and find some hot earthlings,' urges NASA to fire some into space. Still no cure for anal probes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today's editorial board has never endorsed a presidential candidate before. But now, seeing what's at stake, they unanimously have chosen to endorse Clinton. And Johnson. And Stein. And a write-in. And a blank ballot. Just not Trump
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudwire)
 
 
 
Warner Bros. announces that Japanese heavy metal vixens BABYMETAL will star in online animated series where they defend the metal genre after it comes under attack. No Jeff necessary
source: loudwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
A Virginia 7th grader with muscular dystrophy wheels his way to a touchdown
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Senator Claire McCaskill calls for Donald Trump to be weighed in public every day
source: nytlive.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: Putting your wedding ring on your penis is no guarantee that your wife will give you head. It will guarantee that a fireman will touch it though
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Pepe The Frog's creator: WTF is wrong with you people? Vote Hillary
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
As its a slow news day, here are some past cases of air rage incidents. Nut rage lady included
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Dude, I just called in a bomb threat to that business
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Investigators looking for missing child instead find ancient burial ground. Now they'll be able to solve some really cold cases
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How smutty is your brain? The answer is probably very smutty
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After hurting her ankle stepping in a pothole, Al Sharpton's daughter was able to dance, go to concerts, tour the country, climb mountains, and sue the city for $5 million
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
To prove to his girlfriend he can look after pets, dude cooks tiny pancakes for his kitten
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recordnet)
 
 
 
Stockton mayor, recently arrested for strip poker with drunk teens and under investigation over the use of his gun in the murder of another teen, announces plan to hire private security with military background to patrol city, answerable only to him
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
A Dodge Neon was clocked doing 146 MPH on I95 in Connecticut
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Comedy Central's famous horse roast Ann Coulter backs out of Chelsea Handler's show last minute, gets lesson in how you don't even have to be present to be utterly humiliated (not safe for work language)
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Begun the clown wars have
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Not news: onlooker yells abuse at pro golfers. News: They invite him out to try the shot they missed. Fark: He nails it
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Here is how a regional nuclear war will affect the rest of us. You know, just in case
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Turns out those cute fuzzy meerkats are actually baby murdering bastards with a homicide rate that would make Chicago jealous
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snek
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The US Postal Service would get a lot more respect if it used cruise missiles
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
"Breathalyzer tests dismissed as evidence in Oklahoma DUI cases"
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
If you want to repeal the death penalty, vote "retain." If you want to retain the death penalty, vote "repeal." Clear?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Oh, when you are in Japan, can you pick up some of those choco-pumpkin fries from McDonald's for me, please?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tesla Autopilot. Autobahn. Auto know better
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hutchinson Leader)
 
 
 
Five centenarians reveal the secret to long life: Take it one day at a time, make a go of it, read the Bible if you feel so inclined, survive cancer
source: crowrivermedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Real clowns to Florida's Malevolent Clowns: Please stop
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Whether budget-busting or modest it's easy to have a wishlist of things you'd like to use for cooking. What's on yours?
source: barbecuebible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to do heroin, but were worried you'd be doing it in a dirty, non-medically supervised facility? NYC wants to help
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Amish voters say the election is 'up to God,' although looking at the candidates, it's probably a safer bet that someone else is responsible for this mess
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
The internet is going to end Saturday, so goodbye everybody
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bassist
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Doctor suspended for allegedly making vaccines with cat saliva, vodka. Is now Jill Stein's running mate
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"I hate all people named John." "Yeah, that's right, that was a John diss." Brought to you by the World of Pun competition
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Look upon the new Teddy Ruxpin. Its cuteness will be your undoing
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Insurance companies have been running speed cameras in Virginia. Smile for the camera. Frown for the bill
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: APX wax vaporizer. Google 'APX' - it's a strangely frequent three letter combination. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
♫ Ebony Ivory had to be saved 'cause she couldn't breathe ♫
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackpool Gazette)
 
 
 
Pie juice sparks security alert at UK airport
source: blackpoolgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
The psychology of why clowns terrify you so much and make you flee in terror if one follows you as you're walking down the street a gray, drizzly day trying to make it to a well-lit store but you realize no one else is around but you and the clown
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I, Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon, will contest this £15 parking fee
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
25 years ago, the war ended without firing a shot. "The long bitter years of the Cold War are over. America and her allies have won; totally, decisively, and overwhelmingly....So thank you SAC. Job well done. Enjoy your retirement"
source: articles.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoliceOne)
 
 
 
What you need to know about buttchugging: "The anus is very veinous"
source: policeone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Should we as humans bring extinct species back from the dead? Zombie Reagan excluded
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
South Australians discover new weather phenomena: Tornadoes. "I've just never seen anything like it,"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New group forms for men who have sworn off relationships with women. Not to be confused with working in Silicon Valley
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Who paid for Donald Trump's helicopter ride to Mexico, and how many Federal laws did they break?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Go home Thomas, you're drunk
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The man with the yellow hat narrowly avoided having to wear a yellow star. Bonus: The voice actor for the cartoon Curious George is also the voice of Megatron
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
On second thought, maybe it's not a good idea to name an elementary school after a known pedophile
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this young fox on the go
source: fennecfoxes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Police with body cameras receive 93% fewer complaints because they act better when wearing them. "With a complaints reduction of nearly 100% across the board, we find it difficult to consider alternatives, to be honest"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump spokesvacuum Kayleih McEnany goes on CNN to defend Trump's fat-shaming of Alicia Machado by comparing Machado to "an ISIS terrorist who kills people"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's National Coffee Day, and here is a list of places you can get free coffee today. Because you can never have too much coffee
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Beer thread. Let's start off with a Russian imperial stout that was aged for eight months in an old missile silo
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Former Republican Senator in the South who fought against alcohol sales in his county tests positive for meth after getting busted for a DUI
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A woman who has loved horses her entire life and is on the verge of death visits a stable one list time. This hay fever must really be getting to me or I wouldn't be tearing up so much
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Rock slide takes out rock climbing facility
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Everybody talks about how much it costs in fuel, insurance and repairs if you want to own a McLaren supercar. Nobody talks about how it takes 138 hours just to wash one
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
News used to be about the who, what, where, when and why. But these days, 2 out of 5 ain't bad
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 595: "Giving Up and Giving In". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 28, 2016
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Catholic High School Girls in Trouble
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dating website opens exclusive club where every guest is vetted to ensure they are attractive enough to enter. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The 'th' sound will be extinct in English by 2066. Anks Obama
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
There's regular fishing, deep-sea fishing, spearfishing, and then there's Florida fishing
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
You mean when I pull over a woman at night, I shouldn't hug her, kiss her, take a selfie with her, and add myself to her Snapchat? Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Christian universities to merge. Sounds kinky
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Putin sends attack dolphins. Flipper unavailable for comment
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Not content with exploding phones, Samsung moves on to exploding washing machines
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Everybody poops. But not everybody wanders the city naked pooping on doorsteps
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
The Bureau of Land Management replaces "Negro Bill" trailhead sign with one reading "Grandstaff Trailhead." "Injun Joe's Cave" still okay
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
According to the Texas prison System, book by Langston Hughes, Alice Walker, Shakespeare and St. Thomas Moore are too dangerous for inmates to read, but books by David Duke, Adolph Hitler, and even Che Guevara's "Guerrilla Warfare" are just fine
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Headline: New Wind Turbines Could Power Japan for 50 Years After a Single Typhoon. Not yet figured out: How to actually store that energy
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
So many flood warnings in place for Maryland that it could soon be America's smallest state
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Malevolent Florida Clowns are terrifying people, and not just sitting in the office of Governor anymore
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hey cabbie, just take me far away from where that Arby's just got robbed, and if you can avoid police, there's a big tip in it for you
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
McDonald's worker Googles 'how to kill someone and get away with it,' doesn't. I'm lovin' it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty stage
source: aurorafoxartscenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Up to fifty percent of humans are "blind to motion." Enjoy your commute
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Virginia resident: Is it OK if I sell guns in my store? Government: Sure. Virginia resident: What if I serve coffee, too? Government: Don't press your luck, bub
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study suggests that you are predisposed to murder as part of your evolutionary genetic heritage, even more than your cat is
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Monica Observer)
 
 
 
FAA is about to teach the city of Santa Monica what the phrase 'in perpetuity' means
source: smobserved.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Thieves who stole $3,000 of champagne and one box of fried chicken clearly have this whole life thing figured out
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Anti-Defamation League designates Pepe the Frog a hate symbol. Feels awkward man
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Police hunt woman pictured 'having sex with dinosaur' at children's playground. Jurassic Fark
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Your grandfather was mysteriously murdered in 2013, You were the subject of a manhunt in 2011, and your mother mysteriously falls overboard from your boat, the Chicken Pox, and disappears? Seems legit
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cumberland Times-News)
 
 
 
West Virginia police chief: "If you run around in a clown suit, you should probably expect for citizens to beat you"
source: times-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson City Press)
 
 
 
I'm sorry I ruined your Black Lives Matter party with my gorilla mask, bananas and nooses
source: johnsoncitypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha citizens push to rename historic Dodge Street. The new name? Dodge Street
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Home Depot pulling "Peeping Tom" Halloween decoration from stores. Weiner costume with cell phone is still a big seller
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Millennials have no confidence in a system that is failing them
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Creepy online ad featuring swimsuit-clad teenage girl who morphs into eel yanked after Japanese internet users reported it was sexist. Officials say they only wanted to promote their city as hub of sustainable eel farming
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 5 Arizona)
 
 
 
Dolphins are being shipped by FedEx. Don't forget to cut a hole in the box
source: cbs5az.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: One of these things is not like the other
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Hillsborough County Florida Sheriff's Dept. puts out BOLO for Garrett Morris
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
I wish they'd teach us more about Vikings
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced the coffee they usually drink with a coffee that gives you an erection lasting for up to three days. Let's see if anyone notices
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Due to the tireless efforts of the Pan American Health Organization, doctors, and the deadly, autism-causing, mercury-filled MMR vaccine the Illuminati forces upon our innocent indigo children, Measles are officially eradicated in the Americas
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
NewsFlash
 
Large emergency response to elementary school shooting in South Carolina. Link goes to livestream
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. And if you don't have a bunch of monkeys writing your novel for you by randomly hitting keys, then THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Note to MIT and Google: Get Smart should not be used for design inspiration
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN gets news boner after Dutch investigators reveal MH-17 was downed by a Russian missile brought into a pro-Russian section of the Ukraine. IT'S HAPPENING
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
China's self-proclaimed 'most charismatic philanthropist' is accused of falsifying and exaggerating his donations. Which means if China is anything like the U.S., he'lll soon be announcing his candidacy to be their next President
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Might as well have some fun with this." *pokes bear*
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
The first-ever Utah Heroin and Opioid Summit sounds like a blast
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Sure being a British Royal is all pomp and circumstance, but sometimes you have to reluctantly eat 'phallic' dishes during food and wine festivals
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Bicycle company puts picture of a TV on boxes instead of bikes, reduces delivery damage by 80 percent
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It has to be terrifying when your mountain hike is interrupted by an Eddie Van Halen solo
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah theater plans to install special "Zion ceiling" to protect patrons from looking down from balconies and seeing alcoholic drinks being made
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Creepy clown alert now in New Jersey
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Home Chef meals at home 30%ish off. Small print (under 'specs'): one per household / address, new customers only, membership required (membership requirements flexible), can't deliver in 5% of US - see map. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this witchy woman
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVM Columbus)
 
Boobies
 
Offensive boob encountered at the Piggly Wiggly
source: wtvm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Black moon to appear Friday night. Police around the country being urged to resist trying to shoot it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
The watering holes in Las Vegas just dried up
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Pizzeria owner to people who complained on Facebook about the no-gun policy inside his restaurant: 'F.O.' "You can interpret it any way you want, I could have written the words out, but didn't"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo board claws back $41 million of CEO's pay and $19 million of Carrie Tolstedt's stock grants, adds, "No bonuses for you two this year." That'll learn 'em
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
The prosecution has rested in the Dildo trial, now it is the Dildofense's turn. Will they try to bring up Finicum's death again? How many times will they misquote the constitution? The warm-ups are over the real show is about to begin
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Today's police shooting of an unarmed black man brought to you by San Diego. Police have released stills of the man pretending to have a gun
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Spider bites man. News: On penis. Fark: Again
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Your dog doesn't want your steak ...or your dumbass human advice
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Aleppo's 'Cat Man' cares for hundreds of cats abandoned in Syria's war: "I'm going to stay with them no matter what"
source: site.people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Thousands of women to be executed in Saudi Arabia
source: bostonjournal.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish hotel reunites teddy bear with his best bud
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Based on the sketch, he shouldn't be hard to spot
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Donald Trump supporter tries to Make Carpooling Great Again
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 27, 2016
(AP)
 
 
 
American air traffic control will be done entirely by text messages between controllers and pilots within a year
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
"If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact - not to be solved, but to be coped with over time." RIP Shimon Peres, peacemaker
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
When your favorite amusement park closes, you might save a ticket stub or a map. If you're a little more ambitious, you buy a ship that took people there for eight decades
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
"On a scale of one to 10, how drunk are you?" "Uhhhh... 14?"
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
You've been arrested for DUI (BAC .371) and then released to a friend's custody. What do you do now? A) Go home and sleep it off. B) Have someone take you to the hospital. C) Go out driving again and get arrested with an even higher BAC
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bear finds WWII mortar grenade, demands pic-a-nic basket ransom
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
So it turns out gang members don't care about HIPAA privacy violations
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
A pig like that you can't eat all at once
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handsome lad
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When God tells you to dig a hole in the jungle, you dig a hole in the jungle, even if it takes you 18 years
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Oktoberfest is in full swing, and so are Oktoberfest related crimes: "19-year-old struck over the head with beer stein. Police is looking for a suspect described as having blond hair, pale skin and wearing lederhosen." Yeah, good luck with that
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Bluetooth shower speaker. Of *course* this exists. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
College student hits .490. This being Fark, you know what category he hit .490 in
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mississippi News Now)
 
 
 
Clown season again. Remember, minimum weight 80 lbs, bag limit 3
source: msnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A video purporting to show a two-headed squirrel has sparked debate over whether the creature is a freak of nature or an optical illusion"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Friday's Black Moon could bring with it worldwide destruction and the second coming of Jesus Christ ... but it won't, so relax
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Take один guess at where that #TrumpWon hashtag started
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Pharma bro Martin Shkreli is now accepting bids to be punched in the face
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Your face on the currency of your choice
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Actually India declared war on Pakistan five years ago, the orders simply haven't made it through its Civil Services
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(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
John Ellis Bush Exclamation Point to teach at Harvard this fall, classes include how to lose with grace to a Cheetos dust covered pile of manure that has taken human shape 401
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(CBS News)
 
 
 
Under-21-year-old exotic dancers sue Louisiana for the right to bear their breasts and butts
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
U.S. Army trying to squelch its official Twitter feed that claimed Donald Trump lies every 3 minutes, 15 seconds. It's really every 2 minutes
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(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Man recovering from a broken back decides he needs to swim across the Sea of Galilee while juggling
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Bacon cotton candy. Fark you, Texas
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
California man finds out what can happen if you try to join ISIS. Number one, you can get 30 years in prison, that's the first thing. Sorry, there is no number two
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(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
Mayor decides the Boston Redevelopment Authority (BRA) needs a new name. Chooses "Tomorrow Is Totally Serious, Let's Integrate New Generations" (TITSLING)
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
In his first official visit to Turkey since writing a poem about Erdogan having sex with a goat, Boris Johnson buries the hatchet by praising his washing machine
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not saying all furries are killers. Just that this couple was killed by furries
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual cannon
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(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN rediscovers its purpose as it learned Russia said if MH17 was shot down, Ukraine did it
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's always a good idea to have some ID in your briefcase in case of loss. Unless it's a briefcase full of cocaine
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(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
You think your commute stinks? Try getting stuck behind a 45 ton whale carcass
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(PennLive)
 
 
 
Well, somebody was going to have a problem with a Nazi flag flying next to a Donald Trump flag, weren't they?
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Houston mall shooter was a white guy with Nazi ties, so, not terrorism then
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(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Caption Contest: Obama explains something to Leonardo DiCaprio and Leo isn't buying it
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(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Although the Steelers and the Eagles don't have a huge rivalry, one may be brewing over a lawn chair attack
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Woman walks in to find two burglars in her house. Fark: Having sex on her couch
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(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Archaeologists have discovered a forgotten 200-year-old pub discovered under a building site in Manchester, England. Booze was found. The empty bottles are being preserved for study
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(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Woman writes heartbreaking open letter to person who killed her dog
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Turkish president Erdogan is VERY upset about the US prosecution of a Turkish-born gold-trader who is accused of laundering hundreds of million of dollars on behalf of Iran. I think we found the guy Erdogan uses to fill his Swiss bank account
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Mon September 26, 2016
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Private Investigator: Hello, Verizon, I need a phone number for Joe Blow at 123 Main St. Hackensack. Verizon: Sorry, sir, that number is unlisted. PI: Here's 20 bucks. Verizon: Yes, sir, that number is 201-555-1234
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(Time)
 
 
 
According to the USDA, beef is what's for dinner, again
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Serb enclave in Bosnia is pressing ahead with an illegal referendum to make Jan, 9th the date the "Bosnian Serb Republic" was declared in 1992 a national holiday; stoking fears from those who didn't like how they celebrated that the first time
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Helping kidney stones pass by riding roller coasters? It's crazy, but it just might work
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(YouTube)
 
 
 
Presidential debate thread #4, recap mode. It's real, and it's on fire
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
High Hitler
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(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: Woman, 19, stabbed fiancé during "argument over an orgy"
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Ex-Syrian intelligence officer may be hiding in Florida. I think we can scratch off the 'intelligence' part
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(Futurism)
 
 
 
Schrödinger's Cat finally caught on film in one trillionth of a second
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Presidential debate trainwreck thread 3. Sh*ts on fire, yo
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(WPTV)
 
 
 
Two guys who look like they enjoy catching alligators for fun have been charged with illegally catching an alligator
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(CNN)
 
 
 
I just wanted to tell you good luck. We're all counting on you. It's your Presidential Debate thread part 2. Also, we're out of coffee
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
The moderator looks on helplessly as one side tries to refute conspiracies, trolls, and delusions with facts, science, and reality. It's not a live performance of the Politics tab, it's the first 2016 Presidential Debate (9pm EST, NBC)
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Washington Monument is being closed "indefinitely" for repairs. And on the night of the first presidential debate? This means something. It means ... something
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(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Tennessee issues a 'clown warning'
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Grandma and Grandpa are fighting
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(AOL)
 
 
 
Everyone hates being dragged into someone's selfie. Especially giant pythons
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(Gothamist)
 
 
 
The good news: Humans won't be the first species killed off by global warming. The bad news: Those tasty insects called lobsters will go before us
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(The Sun)
 
 
 
Giant tuna found in the River Severn, apparently took a wrong turn in Albuequerque
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Iran begins their first web-based national census. After tallying the results of people with internet access the national population estimate has come in at three
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(CNN)
 
 
 
A Muppet is changing lives in Afghanistan. And before you ask, it's not Bert
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Red Sox
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(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Insisting on driving your own car will pretty soon cause you to be viewed as a bigger public health risk than chain smokers
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"This is what happens when you drink a lot and play too much GTA and Street Fighter.'
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(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Nothing is wrong with asking the police to touch up your DUI arrest photo with a beauty app to make you look more beautiful. Nothing at all
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(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Some praise God when they find woman wearing only T-shirt, bra, panties in their pickups. Others call the cops. This story is the latter
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(Politico)
 
 
 
Police report Houston shooter was disgruntled ambulance chaser, didn't think he was this desperate though
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(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Teenager in Siberia swings off 23-storey building to impress girl, falls and nearly dies. Perhaps someone should introduce him to Tinder
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(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Archeologists unearth 17th-century man who was buried face down at a distance from others. Then things get weird
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(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
An inside look at Obama's imperialistic sedition against the glorious Cuban people's Revolution
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
File this for future reference: Not only won't the IRS personally call you if you owe taxes, they will NOT ask you to put the payment on iTunes cards
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(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Friday night 10 minutes after we went home, Neil was smashed by a hit-and-run driver. Details in the comments -Drew
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Customs officials stop woman who had packed dead husband's intestines in a suitcase. Would that qualify as carrion luggage?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mr. Bighead
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(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Avantree 4 Port USB 4.5A/22.5W charging station. For when you really, really need to charge all four of your dead devices fast to make that phone call, picture of your cat, eBay bid, and OpenTable reservation.(Sponsored Link)
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(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Incoherent text messages may be a sign of a stroke. Or, you could just be reading the politics tab again
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(Daily Express)
 
 
 
A bevy of scotch whisky pulled from the hull of a 120-year-old shipwreck that was the fav of King Edward VII could so be yours for the taking because it's going on the auction block. Difficulty: You can't drink it
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(AOL)
 
 
 
Authorities conducting 'death investigation' after severed human head is found in Chicago lagoon. Now, I'm not a forensic specialist or anything, but unless the head's talking or something, I think we can assume it's dead
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(Vox)
 
 
 
The best cereals of all time, based on the vote of more than 570,000 morons
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(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Travelling hip-hop group teaches physics. To be fair, that's probably a better idea than subby's failed 'learn computer science with bagpipers and mimes' experiment
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(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska's first commercial cannabis harvest begins
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Don't you hate when your entire college class is in on a professor's exam prank, and you're not?
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Cleveland steam your way to weight loss
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(Fark)
 
 
 
ISIS wives go for something old, something new, something borrowed and something blew, using a Walker instead of a Kaine, and consumers won't give pizza chance: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/18 - 9/24
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(Canoe)
 
 
 
Nudists in Paris complaining of overcrowding in their current swimming holes get full time nudist location. Yes, overcrowding even with shrinkage
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(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Can you drive 60 miles without checking your phone? In Japan it earns you free coffee
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Plan on 'standing your ground' anytime soon? Your crackhead neighbor playing his music too loud at night? Wake up in the morning with an itchy trigger finger? Well I have good news for you: "shooting-people insurance"
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