Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun September 18, 2016
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Feel-good story about heroin. Wait, that didn't come out right
source: i.stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Asteroid with the power of THREE BILLION NUKES may be headed towards earth. Or, this might be AOL News
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Fark Coloring Contest: Expert Edition
source: orig07.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It takes a special kind of low-life to use a phony $50 bill to get change from a kid selling lemonade to raise money for Alzheimer's research
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...someone called the cops on Darth Vader for picking up litter
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
West Virginia will no longer provide weekly fall foliage reports because the 37 full time employees needed to write the reports were laid off
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington Post demands Edward Snowden be prosecuted under the fullest extent of the law--never mind the fact they published the illegal documents he leaked
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Too lazy to walk over and get your own shopping cart? Walmart has a solution for that
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Please please please let the answer to this be yes
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leisurely stroll along the beach
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
From swamps, marijuana, and moonshine, here is the story about two prison escapees' and their three weeks on the run. O brother, where art thou indeed
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
A naked man broke into a house, bit a woman, then dies at a hospital. Why yes, this did happen in Florida. How'd you guess?
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington DC's streetcar line is turning into the boondoggle most predicted. Operating costs are $9 a passenger. The city government's reaction? We've got to expand the system
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Creationist Ken Ham, who predicted 2 million people a year will visit his 'Ark Encounter' museum, has shockingly lowered that estimate
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey woman uses her extreme couponing skills to feed 30,000 hungry souls
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Who wouldn't want to make $1,800 a month by eating fast food?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Koi fish valued at $24,000 stolen, police cast wide net over city hoping to reel in thieves
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Seattle's growing homeless problem affecting tourism industry. Nobody wants to see a 'WILL BARISTA 4 FOOD' sign en route to the Space Needle
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you are a parent, day care worker, or pediatrician in Arizona, congratulations, you're now a sex offender
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Free donut? Shiver me timbers
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
WestJet flight delayed after iguanas can't decide whether to sit in first class or coach
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
SF police searching for cough syrup thief. Suspect described by eye-witnesses as a gray-haired man wearing a bow tie and apron, a washcloth over his shoulder, and a voice sounding 'like a cartoon version of Al Pacino from Dog Day Afternoon'
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Terre Haute Tribune Star)
 
 
 
Man arrested for robbery demonstrates the highly difficult "stealing a police car while handcuffed behind his back" trick
source: tribstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
While New York is exploding, Minnesota is being stabby stab stabbed
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
The Navy's newest LCS removed from service after it suffers two catastrophic engine failures in three days. After paying $430+ million per ship, there are now zero littoral combat ships in active service
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bubble child
source: cdn3.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Past and Present Home Projects
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Snollygoster mods rejecting my submissions, now dreaded uhtceare interrupts my slooming until driven to obsessively gogoozling submissions queue while all these bloody Trumpmumpsimus headlines wamblecropt Fark. TL;DR : Submitted with better headline
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
4 killed, 42 injured when charter bus carrying college football team hits overpass. Subby was on the scene, and won't be sleeping tonight
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
The slavers want you workin' when you go to jail, the prison band's on strike and they've commenced to wail: "The media ain't reportin' because they're so meek, but our largest prison strike's in its second week." Let's rock. Everybody, let's rock
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Penn State holds "Joe Pa" Day 5 years after they found out Sandusky liked 5 year olds
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Plane carrying skydivers for local Constitution Fair makes an amendment to a house
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Now that Bayer has acquired Monsanto...let's hail our new evildoer overlords. Remember when a division of Bayer let ethics take a back seat to profits as they knowingly spent years dumping HIV/AIDS-tainted plasma to overseas markets? Me neither
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Transgender man wants to change name to avoid harassment. Too bad for him this is Indiana
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Looking to get a job? You could check the want ads, consult an employment agency, or pay a man $10,000 and marry his brother-in-law
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 17, 2016
(Sacred Artichoke)
 
 
 
Our host isn't in the studio tonight, but for your listening enjoyment here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from September 29, 2012
source: sacredartichoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
29 injured in explosion at 23rd St. and 7th Ave. in Manhattan FDNY setting up command post (Updated article posted)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this house climber
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Filthy Animal)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass puppy turns out to be something else
source: onegreenplanet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
"Binary bandit" steals ____es and ___s from homeowners
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
The Silver Bullet stops cold in 2016
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In yet another operational milestone, USAF grounds all of its brand new F-35s because they are literally falling apart
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Japanese officials worried about the record number of Magic: the Gathering players
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy and his beanies
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Audubon Society)
 
 
 
As it turns out, urban hipsters aren't the only one that enjoy organic, free range, hormone free chicken for supper
source: audubon.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Japanese advice for traveling to America: "On the weekend, [American's] enjoy even more freedom, and take liberal arts courses and have sporting leisures"
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russia is about to find out what it feels like when the oil hits the anus
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
Alright stop, there's an accident so listen up. A semi full of iced tea spilled and the driver was pissed up. Even though the cops grabbed a hold of him tightly, the cleanup is going to take a while so be sure to tread lightly
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
No matter how often you try to enlighten people to the truth, a good story is a good story, truth be damned, and these stories just refuse to die
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Philadelphia transit takes steps to control their number one problem
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
70-year-old fan finds a loophole in a 1957 Bazooka gum baseball contest, sends in an entry and wins top prize
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Google: Cows are people too
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club, what's that one book you wish everyone would read? Aside from Drew's book, of course
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
O O, O o, ^ ^
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nice little swim
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Family of 10 turns down 5 bedroom council house saying it's not big enough. It didn't even have a dining room. How are people supposed to live without a dining room? I mean, that's just barbaric
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Five abandoned kittens found trapped under a wooden walkway are saved when good Samaritans disassemble the walkway to rescue them. Bonus goodness: they are reunited with their mother at the vet, resulting in a very happy Caturday
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Judge 1: Screw the jury I'm throwing this out. . Judge 2: We're gonna have to hide this video. . Judge 3: Screw that, video's out. . Feds: charges against cop
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
So 42 years after Evel Knievel's nationally televised fail, a guy jumped the Snake River Canyon on a rocket bike
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
W.P. Kinsella, whose baseball novel became the movie Field Of Dreams, walks out into the cornfield
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
World's oldest fishhook found on Okinawa, right next to the world's largest fish. It was 50 feet long if it was an inch, I tell ya, biggest thing you ever seen
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Scotland)
 
 
 
Amazing new pictures of the Loch Ness Monster were photographed by a whisky warehouse worker... stopped reading there
source: heraldscotland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Police looking for Florida man with dementia. How will they know when they find one?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Took those jagoffs over at the Oxford English Dictionary long enough
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Huge organization known for tripling and quadrupling down on mistakes, corruption, and bad policy endorses Presidential candidate who most closely emulates similar behavior
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Usually motion detector lights deter crime
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Move over, Syrian refugees-we've got to make room for Russians seeking "pornographic asylum" too
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
OK, you need to take the fall on this one, I can't go back to prison... here, take my stash... yes, I know you're 8, cowboy up
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 16, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's back, and it's terrifying. No, not the US presidential election, it's the Fark Weird News Quiz. Good guess, though
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
What the hell, did I just get stabbed at Hooters? Like, in a bad way?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Good news everyone. Leukemia is no longer the number 1 cancer killing kids. Now it's brain cancer
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japanese Navy begins patrols in Chinese fake territorial waters
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KESQ Palm Springs)
 
 
 
Dumbass thief breaks into children's center of YMCA, makes off with fake money he finds in toy cash register
source: kesq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study finds tattoos can improve your chances of getting hired. Mr. Cool Ice unavailable for comment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Oakland PD has set up a website where you can report license plates of johns picking up hookers. What could possibly go wrong?
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Will a radioactive spider crawl out of a massive sinkhole that opened up outside a fertilizer plant? Hey, it's Florida. It could happen
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Mars or Utah -- can you tell from these photos? Difficulty: No Mormons
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
"Why don't you lick me where I fart?" said the teacher to the student
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Well, so much for hoping to hear A Whiter Shade of Pale live anytime soon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Turns out that when the Nazis weren't planning mass genocide or taking part in homoerotic training exercises, they were burying cute time capsules
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's actions may bring down the President. No, not that one
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Arguing with the police about your car being booted in NYC is acceptable, but leave the meat cleaver at home
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A routine 911 call leads to the discovery of three corpses. But, it's Ohio, where dead is better
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this floating sunbather
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Go home parents, you're drunk on raising your children. Besides that, you really don't matter that much anyway
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
MannKind developing inhalable epinephrine to challenge Mylan's EpiPen. No word on what Dude Love is doing
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Robot snatches gun from man during police standoff. Also needs his clothes, his boots, and his motorcycle
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Why is D.C. traffic so terrible lately? Because of the "September Surge." Thanks, Obama
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This penis also a vibrator
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
A CEO has FINALLY gone to jail for his role in the 2008 financial crisis, Granted it was not a banker, but a guy who ran a company that sold bogus "mortgage relief assistance services" to desperate homeowners facing foreclosure, but it's something
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man carjacks DeLorean but can't go back in time to change his life choices that led to his arrest after a short pursuit
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Yes there is a such thing as the Air Sex Championships, and it will be coming to Pennsylvania on October 23
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Their convicted rapist son having served his grueling 3-month sentence, Brock Turner's family now decides it would be most appropriate to: A) offer sincere apologies; B) fade gracefully into the woodwork; or C) monetize the situation
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Tesla wins contract to provide 1,325 gigawatts of electric storage over the next three years. That's enough to get Marty McFly home once, plus change
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida State University students coming down with a disease usually associated with their future employers Playland
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Provide proof that a conspiracy theory is true. Link goes to inspiration
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida's "stand your ground" law has been turned into an industry
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
[x] None of the Above
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Not to make you self-conscious, but you're probably not even walking correctly
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
Oakland police say 25% of their bodycam data is accidentally erased somehow
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in 1940, U.S. imposes the military draft. First 4F exemption issued within minutes
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Curvy teacher wears clothes, people are offended
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
An American goes to Scotland and pees on the highlands. Literally. Bonus: he's a Farker
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lynn Daily Item)
 
 
 
Giant orange dinosaur at mini golf course set for extinction gets a mulligan
source: itemlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Marine fetus salutes his Marine dad from the womb. Also did 20 push ups and 20 laps around the colon
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
This is what happens when an unstoppable Millennial meets an immovable parent
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Two months FREE Audible.com. Choose from over 180,000 audiobooks. Here's your chance to make recommendations. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peterborough Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man 'overdoses on kiwi fruit' and goes on knife wielding rampage
source: peterboroughtoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My News LA)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here. Bomb scare was just an old VCR
source: mynewsla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
MN's newest invasive species is also its most delicious
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"I am going to shoot you, and call it accidental discharge"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Jesus over beer is religion's newest recruitment strategy. Because everything goes down better with a cold one
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Facebook, having been forced to change their trending topics due to complaints from Conservatives, now being forced to fight fake news trending because they fired everyone
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
NYPD: We're going to arrest you for having a pocket knife. Oh and your $18,000 has to come with us too, under civil forfeiture laws
source: villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There are nine life skills that are not taught in school even though they should be, including car repair, swimming, budgeting, and Latin (okay, we made the last one up)
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fuzzy ecoli
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
It's come to this: Illinois has a new law requiring driver's ed classes to teach kids how to not get shot by cops when they get pulled over
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
It turns out removing fluoride from a community's water supply might not be that wise after all
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hope all you East Coast farkers filled up your cars last night
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
DEA: 'La la la la la... I cannot hear you if you are talking... la la la la la... marijuana is still the flame that lights the fuse... la la la la la'
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Utah cheerleaders told not to wear their uniforms to school after male student said they make him have 'impure' thoughts
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
That's not a photo bomb. THIS is a photo bomb
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Inspiring yet heartbreaking story about a boy who shaves his head to show support for his friend who has rare cancer. Cancer is stage 4. Article does not mention that, but subby happens to know, since he is the uncle of the patient
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you were proactive and got your flu shot when it first came out in August, ha-ha the joke's on you when you catch the flu next May
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Hey lady, if you are going to drive a stolen car at 3:30 am, make sure you are not drunk. Hey cops, while you are gathering info about the stolen car, make sure the handcuffed lady is not able to escape from your patrol car
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
"Gee, I sure wish I knew where the world's last few flying saucer Futuro houses are located." Checks Fark. "JACKPOT"
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Blue Angels announce they will stop performing the "Split S" maneuver that killed a pilot, which means that a few years from now a young, promising cadet will convince his squadmates to try it at their graduation only to be thwarted by Wesley Crusher
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
After reading about this, you might want a beer bottle boomerang
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Scientists on quest for elusive, rare white porpoise named Mini-Moby. Mini-Dick, of course, remains in the spotlight on the campaign trail
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 15, 2016
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Doctor/pot dispensary owner charged with threatening prosecution in trial of his patient, including "You Christians are the same as Muslims" & labeling Assistant D.A. "stupid white cracker". If only there were some way he can mellow out
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Sloppy smoker nearly destroys landmark Belfast pub after dropping smouldering cigarette butt into hanging flower basket
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Passive aggressive anger release machine. Insert coin here
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Vader guilty. Chancellor expected to suspend Galactic Senate, Trade Union talks embargos
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You know all those clown reports? Yeah, fake
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Death Road" preventing relief supplies from reaching Aleppo. Where's Furiosa when we need her?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
If you are in the market for the elusive Pennsylvania Liquor license, you're in luck. Just get your zombie hunting gear on and get out there. Just bring cash or a known check
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida county employee charged for preying on businesses as a fake building inspector. Police reportedly became suspicious when they saw him actually doing work
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
That's one way to beat the hospital wait list. Not the OPTIMAL way, mind you, but one way
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Millennial, cellphone in hand, rushes past firefighters into a burning home to rescue: A) an elderly resident. b) a beloved pet. Or c) his laptop because it contains the only copies of his two novels
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bollard
source: aal.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass orangutan born at the National Zoo in Washington, the first one born there in 25 years
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
My Little Porny - free on iOS 10
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LinkedIn)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to fake your own death? A new book goes through all the things you need to think about. The best part is, it isn't illegal. "It's surprising more people don't do it," a judge says
source: linkedin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Median household incomes just surged in the largest increase on record. Congrats, you are now making a lot more money. You should spend like there is no tomorrow
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What do you think of when you think of making Italian food? Your own pasta, eggplant parm, or maybe a cannoli? Show us the goods.. It's ok to raid grandma's recipes. We won't tell
source: italian.betterrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Mark August 16, 3766 on your calendar. According to a countdown clock put together by researchers at Tohoku University, that's the date Japan's population will dwindle to one
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Nurse who 'bared her breasts and performed sex acts on patient' argues she was just 'providing emotional support'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Public Broadcasting)
 
 
 
Dildo trial, day 3: In an inadvertent comment on Bundy family animal husbandry practices, Ammon's lawyer claims client is being "molested like an animal"
source: opb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
New Jersey police seize $171 from a man during a drug bust under civil asset forfeiture law. The same law permits him to challenge the seizure...for a fee of $175
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop Three-Fer: Combine these different views of the same objects into something more compelling
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Organized religion rakes in more money than Apple and Google combined
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
In a case of the apple not falling far from the tree, Indiana woman threatens to blow up school if her disruptive son isn't allowed to return to class
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New investigation shows that hotels don't wash the sheets between guests, which is gross, but apparently, it is well known they also leave the duvet cover on a bed for months, and no one has a problem with that
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Skynet saves F-16 pilot's life, will use the life debt to enlist him in the hunt for Sarah Connor
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"You're not police officers," said 30-year veteran of the Chicago police dept. as he chewed out Asheville, NC police who failed to arrest Trump supporter for punching ailing 69-year old
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you're giving an interview to deny an alcohol problem, drinking four glasses of champagne during the interview won't help
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Cannabis sommelier: Can I suggest a redolent Gorilla Glue to pair with your wine and meal tonight?
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
CDC warns Americans to stop kissing chickens, AGAIN
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Owner worried his missing dog will be mistaken for a raccoon because his dog looks like a raccoon
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Eleven years later, let's look at what happened to Alaska's other "bridge to nowhere"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Virginia DOT reminds drivers that although the posted speed limit is 70, the real speed limit is 80 and this time we mean it
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
You can never be too old to get a DUI, as this 94-year-old man shows. People are afraid to tell him to act his age because he might die
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRDW Augusta)
 
 
 
Fourteen pythons are loose in Georgia or South Carolina, hopefully will eat all the clowns
source: wrdw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
'Armless archer' seeking Paralympics gold in Rio, CW spinoff
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: 4-port USB universal travel charger. "Uses top-grade microchips & built-in fail-safes to ensure full power & full safety." Samsung may want to take some notes. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Jury rules it's not a crime to show off your newly augmented breasts to everyone at a party
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gadsden Times)
 
 
 
Camel and teen driver collide on Alabama road.. Emergency personnel later said that although they don't ordinarily respond to such rural accidents, they'd walk a mile for a camel
source: gadsdentimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bird on a wire
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
17-year-old kid kills parents who had disciplined him over crazy party. He was charged with murder but he threw himself on the mercy of the court. Said he deserved mercy because he's an orphan
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
If someone beats you out for a teaching job, don't mail him four dead skunks and a raccoon
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
French air traffic controllers are on strike. For the 14th time this year
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
DUI driver tells cops his speech is slurred because his teeth were pulled 20 years ago. Cops suggest he get new dentist
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
3,000 years ago, an ancient bronze-age warrior cut the cheese, and we're just smelling it now
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
For your safety and security, the great firewall of America is coming - currently being trialled in the UK
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Six thousand year old snowshoe found in professor's office. Man, when those guys get tenure, they never want to leave
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
A puddle works as backup if there's no drinking fountain
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
At last report, American police have yet to solve rash of creepy clown sightings. "Legitimate clown performers are upset with the attention, since they already have several negative depictions to contend with"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
This week's "3-year-old found in car with parents who overdosed" story is brought to you by Goldsboro, NC
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"This is why Texans are fat" or "This is why I'm moving to Texas"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Major airline drops A380, this time thankfully not in an ocean, much to the chagrin of CNN's entire Missing Plane Department
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ebola nurse cleared of all wrongdoing and misconduct charges by Nursing and Midwifery Council, and her only punishment will be forever being known as "Ebola nurse"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And the cat came back, but not the very next day
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 593: "Less is More 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 14, 2016
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Maryland school bus driver pulls 20 children from burning vehicle. "It's my job to save them"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
India battles major chimichunga outbreak, calls for more salsa
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Oldest man in the world, a 112-year-old Holocaust survivor, finally gets to celebrate bar mitzvah 99 years late
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The friend zone now has its own logo. 👍
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
County says they have no plans for trash-strewn vacant lot, but you better not clean it up and plant a garden there
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Drunk, driving away from fatal hit-and-run in damaged car is not good time to stop in Taco Bell drive-thru for munchies, just saying
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If you get locked out of your 10th floor apartment you have two choices - either call a locksmith or climb all the way up to the window. Yes, one option is clearly better than the other
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Carnivore)
 
 
 
If you're in Ohio this weekend, why not come to the Pork Festival? Not a euphemism
source: porkfestival.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
New York's WiFi kiosks are open for busi ... nope, the homeless started watching porn on them, they're closed. Quickest tag ever
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Are you a "Work Martyr"?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Truck crash spills 6,000 pounds of sausage. Discussion to the right. Links to the left
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Vanilla wafer cookies - now with baked-in spider goodness
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Americans' trust in the media has fallen to an all-time low. It's almost like they're trying to pass off crap as news
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Hey, cousin." "Where's your wife?" "Never mind that. Let's hump"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The new Argentinean president has decided to discontinue his predecessor's policy of being a little biatch over the Falklands
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ontario town to get a new goose. Maverick said to be excited. In a straight, non-homoerotic sort of way of course
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his eagle
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Man who used counterfeit $100 to pay for a lap dance is ordered to pay $100 in restitution. Justice was finally served. So were Charity, Jade, Destiny
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense Industry Daily)
 
 
 
US considers selling Tomahawk cruise missiles to Japan. Surprisingly, the Chinese have a problem with this
source: defenseindustrydaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"A more in-depth search yielded 10 additional pills in her vaginal area...Shortly after, [she] became lethargic and passed out"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
You probably shouldn't use your real name when stealing a high-end mountain bike, nor put it for sale on Craigslist less than 24 hours later
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Donald Trump supporter cited by city for too many lawn signs
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you're missing a heart, the Norwalk, Ohio police would really like to talk to you as soon as you can take a break from your busy Presidential campaign schedule
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Donald Trump reveals his weight-loss goal on Dr. Oz's show. Subby suggests to lose all of it. Because only losers lose just "some" weight, winners don't stop until they reach 100%
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. Although, whatever the hell is going on in this article about body fixers and exploding pus-filled lips is right up there
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Woman receives $114 ticket from traffic cop, not for speeding, but for partially obscuring state's URL with license plate frame
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
ACC pulls an NCAA on NC
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a Dark and Stormy night, and then Destiny went up on stage as well. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread, exotic dancer edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and a wall
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The history of a meme that defined a presidency. THANKS OBAMA
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Former head of Ethical Society of Police admits to ethics-free loan
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
High-speed chase ends with dramatic crash, as opposed to a comedic crash, where clowns spill out and yakkety sax starts playing
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Snowden wants a pardon
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If women would just be as assertive as men in negotiating their salaries, there would be no so-called "gender gap." ...Yeah, about that
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Turns out North Korea has its own version of Saturday Night Live. It rips on the West and threatens the U.S. with annihilation, but at least it doesn't have David Spade
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
And the most feared organization in law enforcement, the most elite, in all the world, remains India's Food Police
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A sex-mad tortoise which is over 100 years old has single-handedly saved his species from extinction"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The best beaches in all of Arizona. Yes, you read that correctly
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Templar)
 
 
 
Can you appraise this stone that's been in our family for centuries? Expert: Well, just an average gem, except for the two Hebrew letters engraved on the inside 3,000 years ago. $200 million
source: breakingisraelnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Sleepy man with heroin spends nearly an hour trying to make milkshake at Connecticut convenience store
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: $29 for a $50 store credit to Contenders Clothing. I need an '80s movie training montage here. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
We're not sure who The Millennium Tower in downtown San Francisco is voting for, but it's definitely leaning towards someone
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Results from Donald Trump's recent physical are bad
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Sometimes it pays to be observant - like when you're merging into traffic, witnessing a robbery, or you happen to spot the missing Chick-Fil-A giant inflatable cow
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo CEO: I guess I'm kinda responsible for what goes on here
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Protip: Labeling files "naked little boys" and leaving them in your recycle bin will not gain you favor with your parishioners, friends, police, the DA, or pretty much anybody
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
New report about the military says 1 out of 13 soldiers are overweight. Which means at least the other 12 have someone during combat they can hide behind
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Health officials can't figure out how Utah resident came down with Zika
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Seemingly for the hundredth time...DON'T post your boarding pass on social media before your flight
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
So, what kind of guy is the dude who ran onto the field during Monday Night Football? About what you'd expect
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Jesus photographed hanging out in the clouds over the site of the World Trade Center
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It's nice to occasionally stop and pick up a hitchhiker. Especially if it's a bride trying to get to her wedding
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
For sale, 1989 model. Low mileage, front end alignment good, body and paint like new. Otherwise, makes whining noises and maybe needs a top end
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Officer who put Eric Garner in fatal chokehold made $120,000 by clocking in overtime while on desk duty
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shady couple
source: image.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Nigeria eradicates polio. This is a repeat from last year
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korea: The flyover of those huge bombers that were designed to nuke Russia are in no way sufficient to penetrate our 1950s-era air defenses
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
You might want to think about joining a different fantasy football league if the one you're in is so sadistic, they make the person who came in last march down a road wearing only pink women's bikini bottoms and sneakers while hoisting a sign
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Public Broadcasting)
 
 
 
Dildonian Trial Day 1: The biggest surprise so far is that Ryan Bundy hasn't lost his pro se status yet. Predictions on when and how it will happen to the right
source: opb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
The next time you stain your favorite t-shirt with ketchup and wine, instead of throwing it away you should turn it into wearable art
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
The most Canadian conversation I've ever read. Police: Wanted man, Man: Yup, no problem, I'll come in. Just have a few errands to run first. Police: Ok, thanks for getting back to us, see you in a bit bud. Criminal shows up as promised
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Aircraft that allegedly can't fly can sneak into enemy airspace and take out targets without firing a single shot. With bonus picture of what an F-35 might look like in flight
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Politician who sponsored Michigan's Motorcycle Helmet Law Repeal killed by pickup while riding to Fall voting session. Sorry, 'Ironic' tag fans, he was wearing his helmet
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Oliver Stone: DNC hack was an inside job
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
All of the advertising posters at a tube station in London have been replaced with photos of cats. And not pictures of cats selling something or cats promoting something - just plain old, wonderful cats
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Chipotle customer sickened by the food turns out to be a glutton for punishment, as well as burritos
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Ma'am, we're from the FBI. Now lift your shirt
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 13, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Japanese companies considering smell-harassment policies to crack down on stinky coworkers. Move credited to increasing number of women in the workplace, "who are sensitive to the smells of men"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There is one place on Earth where there are actually too many elephants
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
CIA director's AOL account hacked. In his defense he wanted to upgrade to Netscape, but it was deemed too new to be secure
source: slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Random hilarity reported jumping out of tiny cars in Georgia
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Man arrested for poaching venison. Man, this whole foodie thing is out of control
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
The smell of French fries is great but not when they are burning down your house
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia, things are...well, pretty much normal, I guess
source: europe.newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Parris Island drill instructor accused of running an industrial clothes dryer with a recruit inside
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
We have entered the Zoodle Era, where militant vegetarians work hard to convince junk-food-craving Americans that zucchini noodles can replace pasta, mashed bananas can replace ice cream, and fruit-topped watermelon can replace pizza
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Canada to approve prescription heroin
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
"America's Philippines Problem Just Got A Little Bit Worse." In related news, there's at least one geographically identifiable problem America can still bomb until it's no longer a problem
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this commuter
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gloucestershire Live)
 
 
 
Blessed cheesemaker who lost rare baby cow finds it nine days later alive in sinkhole and lifts it out, after which, now called Sinky, it ran straight to its mum to feed. AAAWWWWWW
source: gloucestershirelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
It's like a RAAAAAAIN of live FIIIRE on your training DAAAAAAAAY (vid)
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Spearfisher with a Go Pro - 1. Great White shark - 0
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
Polish Shipyard accused of using North Korean slaves to build Norwegian oil exploration vessel. Okay, maybe, just maybe this "globalism" thing MIGHT be getting a touch out of hand
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Infamous Tewksbury goat spotted by locals again. "It seems as if the goat returned to his daily activities of eating apples, frolicking in the woods around Tewksbury and tweeting, as he continues update residents on his escapades"
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Town Talk)
 
 
 
"God told me to drive fast, so we're cool. Right, officer?"
source: thetowntalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Gizmodo: BEWARE iOS 10 will brick your phone and tablet
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Gizmodo: Go download iOS 10 RIGHT NOW
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
It's a serious argument if you end it by using your boyfriend's eye as an ashtray
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
Latest trouble for New Orleans: Aggressive raccoon gangs
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
Japan reports record high of 65,000 centenarians this year, up from 10,000 in 1998 and just 153 in 1963. That's a lot of pancakes
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
How does Worst Korea respond to Best Korea's latest nuclear test? By blasting Western pop music across its border. That'll show 'em
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Scientists have successfully created live mice without fertilization, upending 200 years of reproductive science
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Did you attend for-profit colleges Ashford University or The University of the Rockies since 2009? Well, A) sorry to hear that; but B) the good news is you probably don't have to pay back your student loans anymore
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Tropical Storm Malakas forms in the Pacific, leading to large gales of laughter from the Greek community
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 5 Arizona)
 
 
 
You may find this hard to believe but candy corn has been made worse
source: cbs5az.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
"We're going streaking. We're going up the quad ... and to the Walmart"
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
It's one thing to go joy-riding without mom and dad's knowledge. It's another when you're 2
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Celebrities working minimum-wage jobs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman thinks fiance is using his twin brother to cheat on her by having his twin have sex with other women. What?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Police were carrying out a warrant under the misuse of drugs when the man jumped out of the window wearing only his underpants and made off in the direction of Folly Lane"
source: hertsad.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Photographer sets up camera to automatically take photographs of the elusive and rarely seen female orgasm out in the wild
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Two divers rescued by sheriff's dive team during lionfish derby. Why they were racing fish is still unknown
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
If you live in the Arizona desert and have recently spotted what appear to be seabirds in your community, don't worry, you are not hallucinating
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
A Saskatoon college party without at least four hospitalizations is considered a dull affair
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Arson unlikely in covered bridge fire. So what, then? Spontaneous huge span combustion?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hillary Clinton 2.0 thinks you whackjobs on the Internets really need to chill out about her coming out of Chelsea's apartment after Hillary's ill-health on 9/11
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Four paralympians just ran the 1500m faster than anyone at the Rio Olympics final. And not with Pistorius blades. They were normal runners, it's just that they were all blind
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf Live)
 
 
 
Ocean man, busted by the man, taken to the van, for some child porn man
source: blog.gulflive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Note to amateur cake makers out there: if you make Yoda's light saber the same green color as his skin, it might not look like a light saber when he's holding it a waist level
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Three schools on lockdown because someone popped bubble wrap
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New report suggests that 20 to 45 percent of students in the US are at least one grade level ahead in at least one subject
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these waving flowers
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U.S. military finally finds a use for the B-1B bomber: Scare the living bejeezus out of Kim Jong-Un
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Turns out the "open office bullpen" work environment has some downsides...namely it drives away introverts. You know, those people that actually take time and think about stuff
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
What's that, officer? You de-escalated a situation without killing the suspect? That's a firing
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
"HI; I want to order a white casket with pictures of angels and the Last Supper and silk lining for my mother." "Here's your dented white casket with no pictures and crepe paper lining." "I want my money back." "Tough. We're blocking your number"
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Free speech isn't guaranteed," Catholic diocese in New Jersey warns football players who are joining Colin Kaepernick in his protest against institutionalized racism
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turns out probably the single biggest challenge facing pilotless airliners is getting people to board the damn plane
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Men should not keep their cellphone in their pants
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montgomery Advertiser)
 
 
 
Suicide rates are now the highest they've been in three decades as people look at the election coverage and say "f*ck it"
source: montgomeryadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Estately)
 
 
 
List of weirdest town names by state--subby's moving to Booger Hole, West Virginia just for the lulz
source: blog.estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
So long and thanks for
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
"[T]he baby was born at sea aboard an operational unit." Wait, shouldn't that be "after boarding an operational unit?"
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTXS Abilene)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby giraffe born at Abilene zoo. Aw who am I kidding, he's cute as a button
source: ktxs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl, impatient for her tooth to fall out, completes the process with a bow and arrow as her parents watch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 12, 2016
(USA Today)
 
 
 
NTSB finds that Southwest flight 3472 lost more than just a cowling
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why purple Skittles taste different inside the United States? TLDR: blackcurrant berries are illegal
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's never too soon for a good deal
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his pen
source: macdigger.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Auto mechanic critically hurt after car runs into him in repair bay. Even worse, they're going to charge him extra for a fluid top off and rotate his limbs
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
A semicolon may save your life. A whole colon helps, too
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Director of Precrime Division Frederick Harran: "It stops crime in its tracks.... So why everyone's not doing it, I don't know"
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Ex-Pittsburgh cop with 56 previous violence complaints finally completes his Heinz Violence Varieties assignment
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Killed Caltrans highway worker memorialized on 16,000-person email distro. "Our heartfelt condolences." "PLEASE TAKE ME OFF THIS LIST." "For the love of god stop hitting 'reply all.'" "Like you just did?" "EVERYONE JUST STOP REPLYING"
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
What's worse than taking out a $25k student loan to attend Fortis "College"? How about Fortis taking out a loan in your name when you decide not to attend?
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Iran denies harassing US ships in Persian Gulf. To be fair, if the boats were Iranian they were probably just photoshopped anyway
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tropical concoction
source: fluper.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
This school year's inaugural student assbeating and tasering brought to you by Lake County, Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Dildonians thought their Facebook talks were private and couldn't be used in court. Surprisingly, they were wrong. Patriot revolution expected nationwide after the kids go to bed
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Norfolk public schools in hot water over 'recycling' students to SOL scores up. Well, duh, they're students so you're supposed to compost them
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Six percent of the world's aluminum may be hidden in a Mexican desert. When did they start selling Corona in cans?
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Anchorage wants Jesus for questioning in murders
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
French emergency services called into Paris catacombs after illegal drug-fueled party goes bad. Current estimates are six million dead
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
We can only hope that the ATM will be OK
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
And then there are those times when living in a community with a strict Homeowner's Association doesn't seem like a bad idea after all
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Tens of millions of gallons of raw sewage dumped into Tampa Bay. Man, at this rate, the Bucs won't have a team left by the end of the week
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Born in the USA, summer camp for adults is latest smash hit in Australia, thanks to millennial professionals turning 30 and experiencing midlife crisis and ennui. "As with most hipster trends, Melbourne has jumped on board"
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Burger King unleashes an absurd new weapon in the fast-food wars, because apparently the subservient chicken and 'Where is your god now' King weren't absurd enough
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska company protesting the $500K in fines levied by the state in the death of a worker who was injured when a trench he was working in collapsed, but was killed when somebody thought it would be a good idea to use an excavator to dig him out
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Philippines president says he wants US special forces currently fighting Abu Sayaaf to leave, fearing they may "complicate" his own offensive against the group, which knowing him, is code for "object to a wholesale massacre of every village nearby"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bexhill Observer)
 
 
 
Jail for driver who called 999 to ask for the police pursuit team to stop following him
source: bexhillobserver.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The sea's old friend, the rain, strikes back at longtime enemy North Korea
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Quake-hit Italian town sues Charlie Hebdo over pasta-themed cartoons. Je Suis Cannelloni
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Self Magazine)
 
 
 
Fit Farking, Week 1. Something we can all do better that's actually kind of easy. Get more sleep
source: self.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Ziploc bags are not condoms
source: en.baomoi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
ISIS executioner pwned from 1500 meters by a SAS sniper. Told you the AWP was unbeatable
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New York Fashion Week's newest plus-size model is a size 10... average dress size in the US is 12-14. ಠ_ಠ
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Thanks to the inertia of September 11th, our freedoms are more restricted now than ever before
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Queen's guard filmed snorting a line of powder off a ceremonial sword while on duty
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter