Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun September 04, 2016
(York Press, UK)
 
 
 
Crooks still calling the cops and to brag that they'll never be caught, but this one became ironic in record time
source: yorkpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Fishing, tattoos, jumping out of a moving truck to your death...that's Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Those granny pants women wear have gotten so big they can hold an entire weeks' worth of shoplifted food in them (pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but today marks the 239th anniversary of the first time the Stars and Stripes ever flew in battle
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Do great white sharks deserve to be feared or pitied? Why not both?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hermine is re-gaining strength and becoming a hurricane again, which should be impossible because it's in the North Atlantic 200 miles off the coast of MD; unless SOMETHING has drastically warmed the water there. Either way, NY is boned. Again
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russian drivers now being fined if their car's shadow breaks traffic laws (pic)
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Most scholars thought I was nuts to start talking about large, permanent maroon settlements in the Great Dismal Swamp, but the third archaeological dig came through
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Interrupting your burglary to paint the family dog purple is considered cruelty to animals, not to mention a good start on an insanity defense
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A mother who called herself a snob and slammed a member of her ex-husband's family for speaking 'Geordie' and living on a 'grotty' housing estate has lost custody of her children"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Oklahoma governor orders 37 oil drilling wastewater wells to shut down after 5.6 earthquake. So that's what it takes
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Volkswagen good, Volksdroge not so much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Dumbass decides to go kite surfing in tropical storm winds
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
What do you do when dead cows wash up on your beach? Surely you can't dynamite them like whales
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Rare Koenigsegg CCX for sale. Full service history. Needs some work
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dazed and confused people
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
And one time at Man Camp
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New Tate Modern Museum exhibit proving popular with visitors, unpopular with subjects of the exhibit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
"To The Good Citizens of Callisto, I crossed the Rubicon River. Today I did five houses. My backpack had fifteen apples in it, three apples per house. I've broken a few windows, but that happens rarely,"
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're a school bus driver, no matter how rowdy the kids get pouring water on them is not going to quiet the situation
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
No
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Turns out there's one thing Scots won't eat, even if you deep-fry it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
15 Sea Scouts fail to earn their "Don't sink the boat" merit badge
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Distractify)
 
 
 
The Stanford rapist's house is surrounded by a bunch of people openly carrying and making threats; the police chief is pictured calmly chatting with the armed, white protestors. Damn, this story is sure to evoke calm, rational discussion
source: distractify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Eight taken to hospitals after gravity-defying ride doesn't defy gravity
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
♫ Bed bugs, bed bugs, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you. ♫
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GeekDad)
 
 
 
Geek Dad asks if Stone Farking Wheaton w00tstout is just a Geek Beer or the Geekiest Beer Ever?
source: geekdad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
More and more restaurants are banning tipping as most customers are too cheap to leave the standard 20%
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dose (Canada))
 
 
 
The 14th edition of Art Tattoo Montreal is kicking off, and here are the top five artists to consider when you finally get that snake put on your face
source: dose.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Don't bogart that joint, my friend, pass it over to me
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mum admits she still wipes her 12-year-old son's bum after a poo, which earns this response. "He is physically capable, he can do it at home as well as at school. You're not the a***-wipe fairy"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this photobomb
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When two tribes collide (Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A year after the President made a historic visit to Alaska's Exit Glacier, it looks drastically different because it has thawed so much. Thanks, Obama
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
What better way to celebrate the 350th anniversary of the Great London Fire than with fire gardens?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Facebook-hating UFO intentionally blew up the SpaceX rocket
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
This story has it all: terrorism, blackmail, a Rube Goldberg/Heath Robinsonesque arson conspiracy involving LogMeIn, a printer and a piece of string. Everything except a decent headline
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Proving once again the superiority of America's disaster readiness network, FEMA issues accidental evacuation notices for millions
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Think you're having a bad day? At least you weren't left behind by your tour boat as you went scuba diving in shark-infested waters in the Indian Ocean in the middle of a tropical storm
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Wait my turn? That's-a-shootin'
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
You think you've got a bad neighhbor? At least yours doesn't sneak into your garage to steal a bottle of Jägermeister and then when you call police she drinks it all before they arrive
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Old and busted: the "knockout game." New hotness: the "Choking Game." Michael Hutchence unavailable for comment
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
How crass have politics become this season? C-SPAN had to add a three-second delay to its call-in shows to prevent obscenities from making it on air
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Know what is faster than a motorcycle going 111 MPH in a 65 zone? A police radio, that's what
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Is fat shaming or slut shaming more appropriate for 9 year olds?
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Family of five, whose father disappeared for several days, may have been suffering from a group schizophrenic event, which is doctor for "these people are kooky"
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(India.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this master of phones
source: ste.india.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Pet sounds
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVY Dothan)
 
Boobies
 
Boob phone helps stop a kidnapping
source: wtvy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
High school janitor uses floor stripper to get job promotion the old fashioned way. No, not by hard work, silly. By poisoning
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Protip: Running over students can be minimized by obeying school bus stop signs. (Warning: Graphic Video)
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're going to set fire to your ex-boyfriend's car, do your research on said car before torching it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's the Labor Day weekend edition of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 03, 2016
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
South African murder rate passes 'Detroit' and heads for 'Chicago'
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
I hop you Oregonians enjoy your legal marijuana before Japanese Beetles eat it all
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
When someone asks what you're in for, don't tell them "overdue 'Hunger Games'"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Let me ruin that four-day weekend you get for the Labor Day holiday
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Toddlers get behind wheel of an SUV, wreck on the way to see grandma
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "FML I dunk 2 much LOL"
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rock feet
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the plane-spotter culture, those people who spend all their free time outside airport fences with cameras: "It's a bit like a drug. I keep telling myself I'm not going to do this, but then I find myself back here"
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Once again the Vikings are descending onto Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Sometimes a good deed goes unpunished
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
If you go to a restaurant and the menu has pictures of their drinks on it, that just means they want you to hurry up and order
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPLC Lake Charles)
 
 
 
Unexpected freebies that come with a purchase are one thing, but bags filled with meth stashed in a video game case, well, that's a case for law enforcement
source: kplctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this familiar looking minfig
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
A paean to Florida man
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
♫ I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for you / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble for ya / I'll tumble for ya, I'll tumble ... ♫
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man arrested for wearing Disney princess outfits and harassing women by throwing bras and panties on their driveways. This was not his first time. However, it was his first time as Mulan. Usually he likes to creep women out as Ariel
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
According to the 1878 Farmers' Almanac, the best way to get a baby to stay quiet for hours is to smear its fingers with thick molasses and then put half a dozen feathers in its hands
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Four year-old kid plays dress-up and then things get out of hand
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
After 27 years, Jacob Wetterling's killer led authorities to his remains. RIP Jacob
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There's small, medium, OMG, and now "in your dreams, buddy"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When your wanted poster is so good you must use it as your Facebook profile picture
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How to avoid sharks. Surprisingly missing from the list: Stay out of the ocean
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
London's wealthiest are being priced out of London
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man carries copy of his "young-looking" 32-year-old girlfriend's ID to prove he's not a pedophile
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you're a cop, can you at least wait until you're off-duty before you have sex with a prostitute, even if your name is Officer Dick
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
Note to pizza delivery drivers: the customers phone numbers are to alert them if you are late, not to send weird texts to 15 year old girls
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man caught with sick pictures of pervert having sex with a....FISH
source: derbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for the best books about mythical or legendary creatures
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GSA.gov)
 
 
 
There's a very very nice beach, plus terns nest there. SWAT team optional, of course
source: gsa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big mouth
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USGS)
 
 
 
A 5.6 earthquake wakes up Oklahoma and surrounding states
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Maryland has a message for its teenagers: Papers, please
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Mental health workers are joining Denver police on foot and in their patrol cars to help handle calls involving people in mental health crisis, a new program aimed at getting people into treatment instead of caskets
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Rosetta Stone language box set. The English version could be fascinating. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
♫ Call Roto-Rooter, that's the name, and up come kittens from the drain ♫
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Japanese reporter thinks something strange is afoot with Putin's schedule, also noticed his recent unpublished obituary and three posthumous articles on his editor's desk
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
USAF was doing the whole Google Earth thing before Google even existed, to keep us safe from the Commies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Can people live on fruit alone (?) is the eternal question first asked in the garden of Eden. Then man discovered bacon and home fries and said fark it, apples are good, but c'mon
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"The majority of this week's American mass shootings were fairly typical by national standards"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Two months ago: "'I just poured a keg of cleaning fluid all over my pants. Went outside to stand in the sun as a Google Maps car drove by. Look for me on Street View soon. I'll be the guy that looks like he pissed himself.' Today: Hey, there's me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Despite the best efforts of anti-vaxxers, chickenpox cases in the US are down 85%
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Stressed out at work? Why not fondle a prosthetic scrotum and testicles mounted under your desk? (probably Not safe for work)
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Being a TV weatherman in Phoenix should not be a hard job, except for having to come up with new ways to say "it's hot" each day
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 02, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time again for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Great taste. Less filling
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Gossip)
 
 
 
Some kids want birthday cakes shaped like cars, others want sports themed ones. And then there is this kid
source: thehollywoodgossip.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Man, that is a rough 38
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
California legislature takes time from their busy schedule to make denim the official state fabric thanks to assembly bill 501
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Kid hands out ghost peppers in school lunch room and all hell breaks loose
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Hermine kills 1. Snape kills Dumbledore
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Future generations will point to the NAFTA superhighway connecting FEMA concentration camps and say it all started with a bike path
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chinese NOPE bridge closed to upgrade the area due to the high number of visitors and NOT because it's a giant deathtrap
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Point: You can help advocate for immigrants. Counterpoint: You'll have to stare at a naked statue of Donald Trump in your living room
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
An ISIS supporter compared martyrdom to the Super Mario Brother 'warp zone'. More like negative world
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
"Enraged Pikmin fans" ... no wait come back this is important
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Arrest made in Kaija attack on local grocery store. Man, the Pacific Rim sequel looks like crap
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
"Ummm... thanks for the birthday cake Mom, but it kinda wants to make me puke after reminding me of my hangover"
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Christian Pastor says he resurrected a dead woman by "Sending a text message through Facebook". Jesus strangely unavailable for comment
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Not as good as Buddha's face on a piece of toast, but almost
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moose reconstruction
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
CDC releases first report on how Americans were using legal pot, and we bet the word you didn't expect to see was "responsibly"
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
California has approved regulations that will monitor and restrict cow farts
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Freakish ant colony lives in Cold War nuclear bunker, prepping for war with us
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
It's Friday. As the week draws to a close, we can reflect on what we've done. Maybe landed a new client. Or finished a major project. Or fought off a bear with karate...wait, what?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
"A man came into the ER with a birthday candle in his penis" and 10 other weird issues patients tried to hide from their doctors
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
What the hell is going on? 'Creepy clown' panic spreads from South Carolina to Ohio
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Son, you got a panty on your head
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
PSA: It doesn't matter how hard it's raining people, the propane grill goes OUTSIDE the tent
source: evoke.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Council officers tear up village's only playground because they fear fat children might get stuck in the fun tunnel
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Just to clear this up: That swastika crop circle in Britain was totally not left there by Nazi aliens because it points the wrong way
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
"Hi -- I'm Ashton Kutcher, and I'm funding all the classroom projects in the state of Iowa." In other news, this is not an episode of "Punk'd"
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Apple issues global security alert for Mac laptop and desktop users after hackers think different
source: lbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bluefield Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not news: Abandoned mine entrance will be sealed to prevent further tragedy. Ultra wake screaming in the night Fark: with the last guy who entered still inside
source: bdtonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Connor McLeod successful in getting Australian treasury to issue blind-friendly paper money. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONES
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Feds spend ~$500K to find out how to tell people on-line to stop being dicks
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Florida judge berates domestic violence victim and holds her in contempt for failure to appear. The result is nearly the opposite of the Florida tag
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Alligator wrasslin' in Boston goes predictably wrong (with video)
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Every Tuesday in Louisiana is Fat Tuesday as a new obesity index proves it is the fattest state in the US
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
How maggots are influencing the future of robotics. In related news, robots of the future are gonna be gross
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge - Make a movie title using a classic TV show character ('50s - '80s)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Old and busted: whatever TV screen technology you currently have. New hotness: QUANTUM DOTS
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Expats.cz)
 
 
 
Because, why not put a call center in a prison? After all, it's about the only place you can find a payphone nowadays
source: expats.cz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That IS appalling. There's no "h" in that word
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pew Internet)
 
 
 
Pew Research Center releases its annual study on American reading habits. The findings: print isn't dying, quite yet
source: pewinternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Organ donations up - largely due to rise in heroin overdoses (head smack)
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
It's pronounced "az-wee-pay"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Boy banned from first day of school because of his crop-circle haircut
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
People who self-identify as "very right wing" also have the freakiest sex lives
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Woman gets prison time for using teens as sex slaves. Idiot. You don't use them for sex slaves, you use them to do yard work and move furniture, duh
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Uzbek President Karimov dies with no clear successor, according to incoming Uzbek President Vladimir Putin
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
What do those TSA scribbles on your boarding pass really mean? "Sometimes I just wrote a smiley face on the ticket... In my younger days I scribbled my phone number on a beautiful woman's boarding pass" -Former TSA agent
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Want press coverage for your corn maze? Make it your local TV station's logo
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politics UK)
 
 
 
"Why are we so quick to make excuses for men who kill their families?" We what?
source: politics.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
"You will die at an Arby's in Columbus, Ohio"
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Restaurant discovers you can't thaw pigs feet in a tub of water in the alley next to your dumpster
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grimsby Telegraph)
 
 
 
Courtroom stunned into silence by fart, but who did the crime?
source: grimsbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Once again, the powerful BBQ bristle corporate lobby has nearly killed a small child. Write your congressman today
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
South Africans complain government-issued condoms are "too noisy"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
Starship reunites to help provide an oral history of the most hated song of all time
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Fentanyl involved in 9 overdoses within 20 minutes in small town. Geez, where can I get a hold of some of that?
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Man arrested for firing corn cobs at neighbor's house, complete with kernels on his chest. Surprisingly, this did not happen in Florida
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Batten down the hatches, mateys. Guard your bleach with your life and your battery life with your very soul. Stay safe as Hermine continues to swat at you like an angered toddler. It's your Official Tropical Storm Hermine Thread, Day 2
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
Spain makes it illegal to build sandcastles at the beach without planning permission first
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia sentences a man to 10 years in jail and 2,000 lashes for tweeting he's an atheist. As opposed to the U.S., where the punishment for making outrageous and controversial tweets is being nominated to run for President
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Man gets testicle stuck in a chair. This is not a repeat from 2006
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
Weeners
 
Oh...Canada. "Mounties were called to a gas station at two in the morning last week because a man had taken his clothes off and was bathing his genitals in milk after accidentally spraying himself with bear spray"
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Chinese schools hire barbers to stand at the gates of schools to fix pupils' summer haircuts
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scientists to drill into Italian supervolcano to better understand the process of volcanic eruptions or to kill hundreds of thousands of people and permanently change the planet's climate, depending on how it turns out
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
"Nearly half of British women cannot identify their vagina"
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rooftop garden
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mass torturer to become a saint on Sunday
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Former space shuttle commander indicted for reckless murder of two girls
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Electromagnetic fields from power lines are one thing, but that smart meter from the electric company WILL KILL YOU
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So what do you do when a major shipping company files for bankruptcy? Just leave all their ships and crews out at sea, apparently
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
A judge will consider smacking your penis against a car window as a crime that's sexual in nature no matter how much you respectfully disagree
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
World War Two pilot says he has no idea what happened to the City of Virginia Beach after it sputtered out and crashed near Sacramento, although we can assume it was overrun by tourists
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nuclear power's future in Britain questioned as nuclear authority releases details of 130 major security breaches in last five years, including that time in 2012 when the guards lost the gun
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 01, 2016
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Jared Fogle: Victim's parents responsible because they "failed to properly supervise" her
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Librarian who lived quietly alone and ate frozen dinners, surprises his alma mater with a $4 million gift when he died
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Georgetown University to offer buy-back policy
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you follow a strange cat in the Alps?
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Swiss tell the EU: Eff off, we're letting our veterans keep their assault rifles
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this odd little car
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
PewDiePie was briefly banned from Twitter for saying he was joining ISIS
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
"Take a shot for Harambe. He took one for you" Kickstarter for shot glasses has already raised 18X its goal
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
What are the odds that this "design the building of the future" contest ends up like when you would build a ride in RollerCoaster Tycoon that launched the patrons 300 feet into the air only to crash into a mountain?
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
A new Clinton scandal thread in the Politics tab? I'll grab the popc...... oh hell
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fife Today)
 
 
 
Pensioner's huge cock in front garden is a tourist attraction
source: fifetoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Michelangelo, forbidden from depicting girlie bits on the Sistine ceiling, used ram skulls instead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Let's take a spin through Vietnamese cuisine. Do you have a favorite recipe or perhaps something you've always wanted tips on how to make well? Jump on in, the Bánh mì is fine
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
Spraying for zika also effective at wiping out honeybees: "It's like visiting a cemetery"
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
So, how drunk do you have to be to mistake a concealed gun for a cell phone and shoot yourself while answering? Bonus points: while in the dentist's chair
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
Abusive husband/criminal mastermind defeats high-tech ankle bracelet by "snipping through the plastic band, which didn't trigger its internal system"
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Add something to this fancy photo
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Four A-10 pilots in trouble for unauthorized flyby of Carolina Panthers' stadium. This wouldn't have happened if they'd been F-35 pilots, as getting four of them into the air at once remains impossible
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The camera really does add 10 pounds. Barrel length and focal distortion are the reason that I look morbidly jolly in my selfies. Spending all of my waking hours trying to bury my feelings by eating cheesecakes has nothing to do with it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Zika confirmed in Miami Beach. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
New report says Apple paid just $50 in taxes on every $1 million in profit. Apparently they used Donald Trump's accountant
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Whole lotta shakin' goin' on down under specifically a 7.1 in New Zealand
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man shot in head by Fraser officer after car chase, once again showing the dangers of tossed salads and scrambled eggs
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Here's the biggest city for dwarves in the world (warning: w/ pics of urban dwarves if that's a trigger for you)
source: refinery29.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Mr. 9/11's "Make Mexico Great Again Also" cap is strong evidence that "Rudy Giuliani's transformation into that Jeff Dunham puppet is almost complete"
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
World Health Organization revises advice for people who have contracted syphilis, gonorrhea or chlamydia. The first thing to do is stop living in 1973
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Get naked or get lost
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
It's not unusual for passengers in an auto accident to become upset, even if they happen to be thousands of bees
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
5,000 Burning Man revellers enter the Orgy Dome each year. No word how many leave with burning sensation
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Pentagon officials allowed workers to use government credit cards for charges at strip clubs and casinos. Although not as much as they would have spent by just going to work and approving new defense systems
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
ESPN commentator and former Green Lantern Watcher Paul Finebaum says black people aren't being oppressed, so they should stop protesting
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Blind Eskimo dog has his own service dog buddy, because dawwwwwwwwwwwwww
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
President of Gabon rigs his reelection and then bombs the opposition party HQ from a chopper. Trump seen furiously taking notes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The Seattle ferry system is having a big problem with people walking off the ferry and forgetting to take their bikes or sometime even their cars; which is not only weird, but requires them to call out the Coast Guard to make sure you didn't fall off
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR finally tackles that group of vile, evil, despicable individuals who are trying to kill the rest of us
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Duke sucks
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
When your name is Donald Trump, you get offered penthouse suites at hotels, first-class upgrades on airlines, letters about buying properties, and congratulations when the United States Football League team owned by Donald J. Trump wins a game
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge - enter to win contest. Enter with Facebook login *or* email address. Is this the one you can pour water on? (*legal disclaimer: don't actually pour water on your phone please) (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Archaeologists can't find ancient Irish castle, decide maybe they should look over on Castle Street near Castle House
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
♫ But I'm a dog who swam six miles, and I just walked a dozen more, just to be re-united with my kin, and meet them at their door♫
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Just what you've been waiting for, an eggplant emoji sex toy you can have sex with
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Gary Johnson receives the prestigious Larry The Cable Guy endorsement. In other news Trump lost the Larry The Cable Guy vote. Let that sink in for a second
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
For seemingly the 100th time - The IRS will never ask you to send them $6,000 in iTunes gift cards
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Freshman girl, 18, and her 82-year-old grandfather enroll at the same college. She feels it's an important way to be with her family, take advantage of his wisdom, and have someone around who's old enough to buy beer
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
NewsFlash
 
Explosion reported at SpaceX
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cherries
source: weknowyourdreams.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
State lawmaker learns Milwaukee cops will still arrest him if they see him filming someone else's arrest
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Now you've gone and done it world, Kim Jong-un may now launch an ALL OUT ATTACK on the West with his gazillion tonne submarine. Mwahahahaha
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Los Angeles county deputies are surprised to find that shooting at suspects in cars doesn't work like on television
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves, Floridian Farkers; Tropical Storm Hermine is headed your way. Have you stocked up on water, dog food, cat food, human food, and, most importantly and inexplicably, bleach? It's your Official Not Quite a Hurricane Discussion Thread
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
When life gives you lemons, try not to spill them all over the highway in a fiery crash
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The vicious, cold-blooded, ill-tempered alligator snapping turtle is very close to being put on the endangered species list, and not a single fark was given
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption this mutual beard appreciation
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Philadelphia Zoo asks internet to name ugly-ass baby gorilla. You can guess what happens next. Incidentally, the baby gorilla is polling ahead of Jill Stein
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
African elephant population declines 30% in seven years, mostly thanks to idiots in China who think the powdered tusk cures everything from impotence to diarrhea. Which is plainly ridiculous as it's essential oils that'll cure all that
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Did you know that dogs can give birth to identical twins? Yeah, well neither did this vet. Until he helped deliver them
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
1. Get a piece of wood. 2. Tape a lead pipe to it. 3. Take it to a gun buyback program and tell them it's a shotgun. 4. Profit. (No, really--profit)
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 591: "Teh Funnay 4". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 31, 2016
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"And now the weather, Tropical Storm Giant Freaking Dildo is bearing down on the Gulf Coast while the remnants of Hurricane Douchey McAsshat are still heading out to sea and pose no danger to the US"
source: thegoodlordabove.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nailing your scrotum to the ground at Moscow's Red Square can get a limited edition Burger King burger to be named after you
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVQ Billings)
 
 
 
Nothing will make your senior portrait session more special than being photobombed by a naked dude and his dog wading in the river behind you
source: ktvq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
If licking the faces of passersby and tattooed eyebrows are wrong, this mollied-up rampager don't wanna be right
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Indian couple banned from climbing in Nepal for 10 years after using Iranian missile technology to falsely claim they'd summited Everest
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
Australian wildlife no longer satisfied with just trying to kill you. Now it uses other wildlife as a weapon
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Road crew painters show that they need to go back to shchool
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Holders of medical marijuana cards can't buy guns due to the "risk of irrational or unpredictable behavior." Gun sales to heavy drinkers still totes ok, though
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Reporter: I bought unregulated, mind-altering drugs from the internet. As I went through withdrawal, I began to regret my life choices
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Insurance company tells church that flood damage was an act of god
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
After suffering brain damage, paralysis and the deaths of their children, Aurora massacre survivors now owe the theater where they nearly died $700,000 for the privilege
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Shssssssssh .... we're sending the world's first probe into a suspected "alien base" that is disguised as a floating island. Let's see what they find. P.S.: Grab the tinfoil on the way in
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guardian of the waters
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fall in number of guards is turning prison into a 'toxic cocktail', which also happens to be prison slang for ketchup wine brewed in a toilet
source: publicsectorexecutive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two words, guys: 'Dudeoir photos' for your SO. Christmas is SUCH a lock this year
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Best Korea reportedly executes Deputy Premier because of "disrespectful posture" towards Kim Jong Un, which could be anything from grovelling an inch too high to failing to nail the Asian Cartman impersonation just right
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Yes the termination has begun: America finally gets its orders from Skynet to 'immediately' build KILLER ROBOTS that could fight wars against humanity
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Yeah it's a living, but someone has to test the sex toys
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Gimīburēku wa, gimī wa kyūkei, sono o' wa sakuhin o watashi o ori. Kittokattobā
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remains of log boat older than the pyramids proves that 5,000 years ago, Wales ruled the seas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
First Cuban Starbucks set to open in about 11 seconds
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You probably can't get into the Ivy League, but try the Ivy League of Budweiser
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
School officials say person in clown mask, armed with a knife, chased student at bus stop; which raises the question, how do you arm a clown mask?
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
State of emergency declared as depression nears, Prozac recommended
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Haunted pub's owner outraged after his possessed toilet ghost is 'stolen and bottled up by artist.' So much outrage
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Spain's annual tomato fight begins with 150,000 kilos of ammunition
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I went to the bathroom this morning myself, but I didn't make it to the front page of the Washington Post
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these shadow walkers
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Vanity plates rejected by California DMV. Why? Fog you, that's why (possibly not safe for work)
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
North Korea deploys nuclear backpacks on soldiers who will mercilessly spray their foes with radiation. Kind of like nuclear skunks but with fewer pork chops
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
PSA: If you are using a cruise for a drug run, even if you are two hot chicks, try not posting your adventure on Instagram
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Maine's Governor Paul Lepage announces "I will no longer speak to the press ever again after today," but gives a refreshingly honest reason for taking this step: "I am tired of being caught"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In a preview of 2018's top news, Senate ousts the country's first female president after her impeachment
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Women tear apart garbage advice on talking to women wearing headphones
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Smoking pot, taking Xanax, and shopping naked at Kroger is no way to go through life, son. (with "yep, pretty much what I expected" mugshot)
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Coke returns to their original formula
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
In the competition between ISIS and White Right Wing Extremists for Most Dead Americans Since 2002, the winner is...
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Navy's new littoral combat ship literally breaks down for the fourth time in one year
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consumer Product Safety)
 
 
 
Things which should not be in your microwave: #1 - Flames
source: cpsc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
American Airlines has studied the horrors of modern air travel and found the problem: you
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Phallus-shaped mushroom can instantly trigger an intense female orgasm
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man upset by 13-year prison sentence, upgrades it to death by indoor skydiving
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Think Beiber was the worst thing to come from Canada? You haven't tried our coffee
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
There once was a man from Fark, he wrote a story on a lark. It wasn't very great, and brought about much hate. Now he submits headlines 'cause fark you. THIS is your Fark Writers Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kayakers vs. New York ferry. Advantage: ferry
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Not content with placing people in prison for an ounce of weed, DEA decides that it's time to make possession of Kratom And Mitragynine a felony too
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Go on with with your daily routine, no need to panic now that a massive asteroid has already zoomed terrifyingly close to the Earth that we didn't know about
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"I don't let friends eat meat in my presence" says vegan who claims to have not lost any friends
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Qualifications?" "Cattle rustling." "That's not much of a crime." "500 of them?" "Kinky"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
PSA: If you live-trap a skunk you'll be stuck with it for the rest of its natural life
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Science learns what college students have known all along. Pizza makes you more productive and should be part of your healthy work day. Also, beer makes you smarter
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't taze me, moo
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Breakfast ramen, vegetarian ramen, peanut butter chicken ramen, and other unusual ways to eat ramen that you wish you knew about in college
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago to install up to 500 computers around the city to measure air quality and traffic. Authorities hope that by the end of the first week there will still be three or four of them that will not have been shot to pieces
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Innori virtual reality headset. NOW we're starting to look like the 1980s set in Disneyland's Carousel of Progress. What's your favorite VR content / app / website? Difficulty: no porn. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
France education minister wants Pokemon Go out of their schools, says it's tough enough to get kids to concentrate on their studies after a lunch of crepes and a bottle of wine
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Massachusetts prosecutor says shooting a burglar breaking into your house is first degree murder. Grand jury disagrees
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this dog is really chasing
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Just your average 1,469-pound pumpkin
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
In 2019, Russia is going to land on the south pole of the Moon for the first time in history to prove that the Americans have never been on the Moon before
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma woman arrested for forcing religion down her daughter's throat
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
You might want to put down that coffee and sit down for this: over 2,000 Seattle Police dash cam videos have been deleted due to a "glitch"
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Want to avoid catching ebola? Throw out those 'special' gym socks now
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Good: Finding a worm at the bottom of your tequila. Bad: Finding a worm at the bottom of your Diet Coke
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
If you're going to get busted for DWI, the headline might as well read "Vomit-covered drunk man"
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chris Brown taken into custody after all-day standoff, says he'll beat the charges
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 30, 2016
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Why not turn an old church into a swingers club? I mean, it is Daytona Beach
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Forget the Zika virus, here come the cannibal spiders
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Creative Loafing Charlotte)
 
 
 
"The customer told employees that she saw a man put a nail gun down the front of his pants and walk out of the store, hopefully very slow"
source: clclt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Serial flasher on motorcycle torments Florida city
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this building scene
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Heated argument over Flamin' Hot Cheetos causes Crook (name and job title) to ignite his rage. He gets all fired up and tries to torch the gas station
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia store offers 80000 sq feet of land to any employees who work for them for 5 years. Good deal, eh?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Typhoon Lionrock slams northern Japan. When's that giant robot coming to protect the children?
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Cincinnati experiencing an epidemic of residents realizing they live in Cincinnati
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Four-foot long alligator captured in Pittsburgh area suburb woman's back yard. Officials have no idea how it got there since there are no Disney theme parks in the area
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Abu is dead. Aladdin inconsolable
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
Boobies
 
French Prime Minister weighs in on burkini debate, declaring himself for liberté, égalité, free mammaries
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why Detroit can't seem to move forward?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Bexar County D.A. comes out as an Axsshole Anti-Vaxxer and jumps on the autism cause bandwagon. Two of the Xs in the previous sentence are silent. But, if you're from Texas, you probably already know that
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Study shows your dog understands when you tell him not to pee on the floor, does it anyway to show how much he values your opinion
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Subway prankster asked for understanding but all she got was crickets
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Guy robs pizza delivery man, stops during his getaway to offer a stranger a slice on his way to the title of "Most Interesting Criminal In The World"
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
DEA argues that the 4th Amendment doesn't apply to the prescriptions you have in your medicine cabinet
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
San Francisco Police: Despite a court finding us biased against minorities, Colin Kaepernick owes us an apology for hurting our feelings
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A. Take your date out to eat and do a runner on the £80 meal. B. Get caught 8 months later by the police and pay for the meal. C. Write a bad review about the food on Trip Advisor
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Good news for the people on the south shore of Long Island, you have a great white shark nursery right off your beaches. Enjoy the kids while they're young
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Major General preparing to retire as Colonel after swinging for the fences for years
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this work of art
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Two of the largest volcanos in Iceland are coming back to life. FARK: Katla hasn't erupted in nearly 100 years, and is long overdue. If it does go kablooey, at least we can pronounce its name this time, unlike Bárðarbunga, so that's nice
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Microsoft's new translation engine tells users that the word 'Daesh' translates into English as 'Saudi Arabia'. In their defence, it's an easy mistake to make
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just like Harper Valley, PTA...but with a framed PTO mom, and drugs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chicago: The city of second amendment solutions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Maine's Governor Swearingen says he's considering resigning, you c*cksuckers (Not safe for work audio)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Well, at least he didn't name it the "Live-4-Ever"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
In Canada, milk comes in bags. Also, bikes are a luxury
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
NewsFlash
 
Is Chris Brown in your deadpool?, 'cause he's in a stand-off with LAPD over a gun incident, hurling a duffle bag of drugs & guns out his window while declaring "come get me" & posting potty-mouth Instagram videos
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Second couple have hedge stolen sparking fears of serial bush burglar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin arrested at Publix after screaming at employees (w/mugshot)
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pokemon Go hunters find the rare Copulator (not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
You can tell the age of a tree by counting the rings, and the number of years in prison by weighing the methamphetamine hidden inside
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Sun)
 
 
 
It's rush hour, bumper to bumper traffic on I-75 near Cincinnati. What a great place for a father and son to try heroin together
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man turns himself in for mislabelling how much nuts the contents of his package truly contained
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Talk about a 'scapegoat', this one helps a Clydesdale go on the lam for five whole days
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Crime in this neighborhood is so bad, these young teens were shot at while driving a stolen car
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Hey, if you ran a daycare full of screaming kids you'd find yourself keeping meth in your office pretty quickly too
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
As if we didn't have enough to worry about, monster slugs are now attacking birds in Poland
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Women in New York stage "Go Topless Day" celebration to prove that there is nothing dirty about the female body. Result: Every perv in a 30 mile radius shows up to take pictures. With Not safe for work pictures...mostly of clothed male pervs
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUOW Seattle)
 
 
 
In late August, Seattle Mariners fans are used to kissing the season goodbye, not each other at the game. Fark: And they were threatened with ejection from the game. Total Fark: On Pride night
source: kuow.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The problem with all the people going to Burning Man to experience the time of their lives is that the rest of the time of their lives sucks bad enough to to want to go to Burning Man
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
10,000th Syrian refugee arrives in the U.S. and is welcomed with a double wide trailer full of complimentary back bacon and Crystal Pepsi
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Whoever keeps riding up to random people in downtown Anchorage just to blast them with pepper spray before riding away, please knock it off
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Slow News Day: Smoking hot 20-year-old can lick her own eyebrow (w/pics)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
You never want to hear 'skydiving' and 'hard landing' in the same sentence
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Alex Jones' InfoWars website hacked, 50,000 users info stolen. So, for unscrupulous types wanting a list of easily gullible people willing to give away money for just about any reason, it's like Christmas morning come early
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you're a critic of Vladimir Putin and living in Russia, your life expectancy has just sharply decreased, as evidenced by the number of Putin critics who have died recent