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Sun August 14, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
There are fears intense heat will turn New York City into a hellscape of flying cockroaches - or as one local put it: "actually an improvement"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Q: What do you call a cat with four ears? A: Batman, for some reason
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Ah, Key West High School. Come for the Conchs cheerleaders, stay for naked man showering off with garden hose next to girls' locker room
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this inflating Canadian
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian crime of the week: Grand Theft Antler
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
You've heard the rumors, now here are the numbers: More adult Americans live with their parents and grandparents than any time in history. Welcome to the world of multigenerational households
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Time for another Fark Photoshop Tennis Match, this time with an actual tennis setting
source: preview.turbosquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Our old friend Jack Chick is back, and it looks like he found out about Manga
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Best Canadian cities to get shiat-faced? Montreal number one. Toronto sucks
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop gets a call about a 7-year-old Ohio boy trying to sell his teddy bear for food, so he buys the kid lunch, listens to his story, and saves the child and his siblings from uncaring parents who were then arrested for child neglect. Tag is for the cop
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"What makes marijuana users different from everyone else." The fact that they're stoned all the time?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Meet the kung fu nuns of Nepal
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
France shows the world how to fight extremist violence, by confiscating penknives from the local winemakers
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
Remember back in the good old days when your favorite bar served free hard-boiled eggs at happy hour?
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
You'll never guess what BuzzFeed did a story on and didn't use a click-bait headline for. An insightful story about the hunt for Poland's buried Nazi gold trains
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fark Coloring Contest: Flower Edition
source: i.huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Olympic memories
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man leaves his car with parking attendant, returns to discover it has been taken for a joyride. If only there were some movie reference to complement this story
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
"We never expected the bikini boxing event to descend into chaos," organizers said after a massive brawl broke out, requiring five area law enforcement agencies to break it up. Thanks, Omaha
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Texas lawyer who lost every one of his death penalty cases, says his job is through after four decades of posting a perfect record. SALUTE
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Bike owner tip: If you securely chain your bicycle to a tree, be aware that some thieves carry saws
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
ISIS leader in Afghanistan and Pakistan killed by U.S. drone. Wow, how fat was he?
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Should our children be happy or high-achieving? Why not both?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Three senior citizens broke into a government stronghold and almost got away with enough uranium to make nuclear devices that would decimate the world
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
In Florida, there is more oversight and regulations regarding: A) Becoming a gun owner; B) Becoming a gun shop owner; C) Becoming a barber
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hot tub fire machine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old boy escapes from kidnapper's SUV using bravery, guile and his trusty Gizmo Watch
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 13, 2016
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Reset the clock. Riots in Milwaukee after police shooting (LGT local news live stream)
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Baltimore PD: "It isn't sexual assault when we do it"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
That's some fine police work there, Lou (with helpful "sketch" of perp)
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man on Swiss train douses woman with liquid that bursts into flames, setting both of them albaze; then he gets all stabby on six people before police tackle him
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Britain's youngest Viagra addict is just 13. Wait, why does a 13-year-old need Viagra?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
China is planning on creating an army of giant bees to take over the world. We have photographic proof of the hives under construction
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this minimalist abstract flower
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"A man (or woman) who is his/her own lawyer has a fool for a client." Meet the idiot who's suing every homosexual on Earth
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're left handed, grab a beer and celebrate
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Little Things)
 
 
 
This couple has spent 24 years bulding a massive floating home in Canada. They could have done it in a weekend or two if they hadn't refused to use power tools
source: littlethings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
I'm sorry. Should we not have named a drink after a serial killer who fed women to his pigs? Was that wrong?
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
One-way ticket and lots of cash? You'll end the trip minus the cash if the DEA has any say in the matter
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this face-to-face meeting
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
U.S. releases troublemakers near the border in hopes they'll emigrate. Fark: The Canadian Border. Fark Squared: Grizzlies
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
American Airlines flight attendant found not guilty by reason of insanity for attacking crew members and air marshals. New slogan: American Airlines - you have to be crazy to fly with us
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cops respond to emergency call reporting "paranormal activities" inside house, witness lights flashing, clothes flying around the room and see dog on top of a hedge. Surprisingly, not a promotion for The Conjuring 3
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Parents go nuts after someone smeared peanut butter all over a playground, raising concern their precious snowflakes could be allergic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I'm not positive it's him, officer, but his face sure rings a bell"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Is it okay to wish Uncle Fidel a happy 90th birthday now that we're all buddy-buddy with Cuba again, or are we still referring to him as vicious commie dictator scum? Either way, everyone's good with the Zombie Castro jokes
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's lights out for the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disney World
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You don't want your third-grader taking the state's mandated standardized reading test? Well, too bad. Looks like they get to repeat third grade, no matter how well they did
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're the summer intern at a local newspaper, you can tell the staff really likes you when they make you be the first to eat a s'mores hamburger. "I took one bite and I felt like I needed a shower"
source: portland.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Institute for Relentless Killjoys finds that three glasses of milk a day can lead to early death
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Bad news: Southern California is having its worst smog in years. Good news: No one has seen Pacoima since June
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The worst thing about having a freeway built near your home in the Arizona desert isn't the construction and it isn't the extra traffic. It's all the displaced scorpions that move into your home
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Butter cow head survives 9 years, 4 stewards, 600 miles
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man jokingly applies to be "wine queen" of German town after no woman applied for the position. And as this is on Fark, you can guess what happened next
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A tour of the United States' biggest icebreaker. Well, biggest if you don't include alcohol
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wandering rock
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Keeping in the spirit of the Olympics, what are the best sports books of all time? It's the gold, silver and bronze edition of the Saturday Morning Book Club
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
19 of the weirdest American supermarket foods, according to an Australian. If Pop Tarts are wrong, I don't want to be right
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Woman facing a series of surgeries had no option but to return her beloved feline companion back to the shelter. "It would have been easy to pat the lady on the back, say 'sorry' and move on." But that isn't what happened. Welcome to a dusty Caturday
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis visits with prostitutes. This time not the ones in Congress
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
In latest rural craze, bored Irish teens discover the chicken game. "There is no other way to describe it than utter madness and we would appeal to young people not to engage in this activity"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Woman sues, wins right to display vanity license plate 8THEIST
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Word to the wise: a superhero fancy dress carnival expects superhero costumes, not period costumes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
In Texas, you can be executed even if you didn't kill anybody
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 12, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Friday already? That means it's time for happy hour, slacking off work and the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
F-22 Raptor defeated by swarm of drones
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
National Hurricane Center has updated its initial hurricane forecast, and it is calling for a better chance of a near-normal or above-normal season - unless it isn't
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Zimbabwe declared the centre of African bagpiping
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
"Beautiful. Is that Impressionist art?" "No, it's Cremationist, but thanks for admiring"
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albany Democrat-Herald)
 
 
 
Man sleeping in dumpster goes through trash compactor, survives - although his clothes are a little big for him now
source: democratherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
While Olympic pools turn green, Olympic volunteers turn invisible
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Cops confiscate 44 pounds of psychedelic mushrooms found inside a home under a giant toadstool surrounded by dryads and centaurs locked in a timeless battle with fire-breathing llamas ridden by digital leaf people burrowing out from your mind's eye
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Step 1) Residents tell bank they can hear what sounds like tunneling. Step 2) Authorities do nothing. Step 3) Profit
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In world first, hundreds of ugly-ass baby Montserrat tarantulas hatch in British zoo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Those 95-year-old tortoises are always in the last place you look (vid)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turner)
 
 
 
Sometimes ya gotta grab the bull by the tail. . .and photoshop it
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Unmaking a Murderer
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
An over-sized rubber duck stolen from a New Hampshire home five years ago has returned...but not before the family received postcards and pictures from all over the world with the duck partying
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia moves advanced S-400 antiaircraft system into Crimea, Malaysia Airlines waits to see if Pacific Ocean also ups the ante
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Now, on Action News Live, we have a man hit by a truck. Tell, me, sir, what was it like?" "Oh, god, I think I'm dying"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Turbulence causes JetBlue flight to turn JetBrown
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Altercation involved three dogs, a sword, an ATV, and a shotgun. "Police did not say whether charges have already been laid, or what those charges may be"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
The Pentagon bans Pokemon Go over fears it could be used for espionage
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Can't tell when Trump's being serious or not? Don't worry, neither can the people who defend him
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Turns out atomic bombs aren't bad for you after all - so go ahead, treat yourself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diving dog
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
San Jose Mercury News wins gold in the 140-character offensive headline race
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Death is no barrier. We have been watching you, and now you are ready. The League wants to help you become wealthy and powerful. Send money, we'll tell you how
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Can we have our stoat anal glands back, please?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
NJ Turnpike reunites boy with lost teddy bear he had had since birth, suggests bear get lye bath before any hugs
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Behold the rare male version of the Black Widow serial killer. Fark: he's been doing this for 50 years
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Of COURSE government-funded scientists are going to tell us that chemtrails aren't real
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Airbdsm
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
73-year-old's attempted bank robbery with a hand written note and fake bomb does not go as well as planned (pics)
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man survives being shot ten times in love triangle. Man, I dunno, if someone shot me there I'd just want to die
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Europe's strange vacation habits: Men shave their chests en masse, coast guard fights towels, and, of course, sandals with socks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Circa)
 
 
 
The Zika cure *agent orange* might be worse than the disease
source: circa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Hardened criminal who stole penis pump still at large
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
"A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says..."
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
On stage at a professional conference, a retiring Oklahoma teacher presents a black colleague with a confederate flag and a Klan robe as a "joke." But don't worry, he told everyone present to delete their cellphone pics so no one will ever know
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Austrian who posted Hitler Cat photo is jailed. Stalin Snake, Mussolini Mouse and Tojo Turtle still allowed
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
NYPD rescues 22 dogs trapped in some clown's car
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pigeon racer gets life ban for cheating, Mo Willems inconsolable
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Progress)
 
 
 
"Children will stick anything in any orifice"
source: dailyprogress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Daily Beast removes article on how to have sex with gay Olympics athletes. I dunno, from behind?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Major shakeup at the Trump campaign after two weeks of bad polls
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Motion)
 
 
 
"Man rescued after his genitals get stuck in sex toy." So THAT'S what they're calling slatted chairs nowadays
source: dailymotion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Stanford expert announces that there are only four good reasons to ever do something in VR. Ummm...movies, gaming, sex, and more sex? *reads article* Oh, fark the hell off
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this ostrich travel pillow
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Man wearing back brace confused for suicide bomber in Bolton
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Jerry Sandusky due in court today in attempt to overturn his conviction. "I've comforted others, I've been comforted. I've been kissed by dogs, I've been bit by dogs." Wait, dogs now? Dude, gross
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn JavaScript and Python - a programming course for non-programmers (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Georgia golf community, 25 year old man yelled "fore" then shot his grandparents. He then tried to play through the cops
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this distant wonder
source: image.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AM New York)
 
 
 
New York City wants to turn the Brooklyn Bridge into "Times Square in the sky," allowing pedestrians and cyclists to get punched by a drunken, anti-Semitic Elmo
source: amny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Arizona mayor refuses an invitation to a meeting of U.S. and Mexican border city mayors because it was written in both English and Spanish. "My feathers are ruffled anytime I see anything American putting other countries First"
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Facebook codes around the ad block that coded around Facebook that coded around ad block that coded around Facebook
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man spends thousands in bid to get the 'perfect' face and ass, achieves neither. (Not safe for work)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
The problem with finding embarrassing or alarming videos is explaining how you found them in the first place
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Lesbian couples sue New Jersey for discriminatory law that requires them to try and have sex with men in order to get pregnant before getting approved for fertility treatments
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
It happens every time: You're entertaining a woman in your home and she asks you to make her a hot dog so you go downstairs and make her a hot dog and when you go back upstairs you discover she's gone, your keys are gone, and your car's gone
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 11, 2016
(Voice of San Diego)
 
 
 
Standards implication learning with good non speakers English common core
source: voiceofsandiego.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Panda Express unveils the chork, a utensil that's half chopstick, half fork
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
PETA wants to erect a tombstone at the site of chicken truck crash
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hold my coconut and watch this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Palo Alto housing official resigns after being unable to afford a house in Palo Alto
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Water park cancels burkini day
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
"I'm 71, I can do whatever I want," may sort of be true, but slapping someone's 4-year-old because he's running around will still get you a felony assault charge
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
There was no problem, we just re-landed
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fact-checking has come to this: "President Obama is not the founder of the Islamic State"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ecuador to Sweden: This guy is getting on our nerves. F*ck it, you guys can come over and question him
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these jumpers
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Your neighbor borrows your lawn mower and returns it broken. Do you: c) invite him over for a fake bbq and shoot him twice?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
*Username: doimakeurandy* "Seems legit"
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"We thirst for your blood" says Canadian terrorist killed by feds. Your sweet, sweet maple syrup flavoured blood
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Office workers hang noose over coworker's desk, find out Trump "I was joking" excuse doesn't work in real world
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Here's a look at what the new Rolls Royce hood ornament does if someone tries to steal it. In other news, people who can afford a Rolls Royce can only afford to live in bad neighborhoods
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Man catches blue lobster for the second time in his life, will be as delicious as the previous time he caught one
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Twin sisters give birth on the same day. 'Everybody keeps asking if we planned it, and I'm like, 'No''
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona Department of Corrections to award-winning teacher: Go have breast cancer somewhere else, without insurance
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Since their incompetent invasion of Georgia, the Russian military has become something never seen in Russia before; competent
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
In other news, here's the 2013 video of ex-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack. The ex-mayor was unavailable for comment
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Man charged with misdemeanor in double shooting. Apparently in Virginia, a chainsaw attack only qualifies for a brisk 'tut, tut' and gutting someone with a riding lawnmower only gives you two points on your driver's license
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
A mystery object has appeared on the edge of our solar system and it can't be explained
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
You would sing too, if you were a professional fudge packer
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Firefighters search for multiple missing people after huge explosion rips through an apartment building in suburb of DC. One question, why was Starsky there?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If your pet fish has human-like teeth, officials request that you do not release them into the wild. Also, find some less farked up pets, for God's sake
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Police puzzled over porta potty pot
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Underwear thief's diarrhea defense rejected by court in rare 'habeas crapus' ruling
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
The DEA has at least 209 million reasons to keep marijuana illegal
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
'Weekend Warrior' gets prison for his 4th DUI in 4 years. Is that just his nickname or is it his Fark handle?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Stupid archeologists read ancient demon-summoning spells aloud, dooming us all to a Suicide Squad sequel
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
California wants to regulate cow farts
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Clandestine video shows Tyson workers choking their chickens on the job. Awkward
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this running cowboy
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gawker launches new website for men, called.... Wait for it.... The Cuck
source: thecuck.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"I just want to be treated like everyone else" says emo vampire Darkness Vlad Tepes. Uh, huh, good luck with that
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Intel: Whiteness inside
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Oh, well in that case, climbing Trump Tower makes perfect sense
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If there's one thing I love doing, it's smoking crack and getting naked on the subway
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The reporter was not successful in convincing any male acquaintances to try it"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The addition of a few black rectangles makes Olympic diving Not safe for work
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So it's looking like the Chinese were lying when they said they weren't militarizing their fake islands
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Ford Pinto crashes into fire hydrant, doesn't explode. In other news, a Pinto was still on the road
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Brain-eating amoeba discovered starving to death
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
MadLIbs headline: "What can __________ teach us about the __________?" BBC News: "How about 'killer whales' and 'menopause'?"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Kansas home became the default location for 600 million IP addresses which has caused the residents quite a few problems, a digital hell of sorts. Well, now they want compensation
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
It's been a while since we has a "Confederate Flag creates controversy" thread and it's a slow news day and we want to plug the fair, so here we go
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida 'shoot/don't shoot' police officer turns out to have a history of excessive force and resigning from police agencies
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Convicted road rage murderer killed in road rage incident. Irony tag trumped
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Manatee orgy causes traffic jam in Florida. Said to resemble Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly cruising the Fox News hallways on an average Wednesday
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: AnyMote Universal Remote Control, coordinates all remotes through your smartphone. Not bad. But when can we ditch these cumbersome interfaces and just let me control my electronics with my mind? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
That major announcement DEA was going to make today about marijuana? Yeah, it basically consisted of them flipping the entire country the bird
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Arianna Huffington steps down from *** Click here to continue reading ***
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Today's college bro rapist sentenced to zero jail time is brought to you by Colorado
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high flyer
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Man with monkey hiding in his shirt causes uproar on Vegas flight. Mostly because gamblers are superstitious about flying monkeys on planes. No one has ever won a tournament after flying with a monkey, look it up
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Scientists say they've figured out which is better: drunk or stoned sex. Wait ... there's a difference?
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Trump, running out of things to say, says Obama founded ISIS and used his time machine to elect Hitler. Well, now his poll numbers should skyrocket
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
"Slayings in Mass., NYC reinforce fears of female runners." Are female runners that dangerous?
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Couple forces 15-year-old prostitute to have sex with 288 people. That's too gross
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know you're one badass bee if you live on the edge of an active volcano and get all your food from a single wildflower that's adapted to volcanic acid rain
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
While it's noble for a son to want to protect his mother from abusive relationships, there are better ways to do it than by becoming both her lover and the man of the house
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
This. THIS is how you obituary
source: obits.nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Here's the new biggest dog in the world. Major the Great Dane
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Archaeologists announce new discoveries at Alamo dig site including main gate, west wall, rental car office
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
The DEA is making an announcement on marijuana's status Thursday. Subby is running down to the store for a few cases of pizza rolls just in case
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 588: "Framed". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 10, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
North Korea forcing construction workers to take crystal meth to ensure buildings are finished in time. Way early, as a matter of fact
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
When in Kerry, Ireland don't drive down Kerry's famous Sheep Highway ...because it was made for sheep
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ever try to build IKEA furniture ... ON ACID?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Forget Girl Scout cookies, I'll have a Swedish Fish Oreo
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Edmonton car dealership overrun with rabbits. VW unavailable for comment
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Italian lawmaker proposes jailing parents who force their children to eat vegan, including those whose religion requires veganism. Bill suggests one-year sentence to start with, and six years if their kid dies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10 New England)
 
 
 
RI Environmental Police think that there just might be something suspicious about a boat that drifted into a Warwick marina with a still-running engine and nothing on board except a fair amount of blood and broken glass covering the deck
source: turnto10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Mummified "monster" found in Siberian diamond pit, relationship to Putin yet to be determined
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dramatic rescue
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"China is a big importer of donkey skins from Burkina Faso, using them to make traditional medicines." Is there ANYTHING that China doesn't use to make traditional medicines? Apart from actual medicines that is
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Williamstown (KY) mayor says Ark Encounter is not the economic boon they expected. Insert Nicolas Cage "YOU DON'T SAY?" meme here
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"US seeks clarification after ambassador is called gay son of a whore." Well, yeah, that probably goes without saying
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC is being overrun by scum
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Parishioners claim statue of Jesus opened its eyes, then quickly shut them when it saw its shadow - or something
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man receives tax bill for 14 trillion dollars, thinks it might be a mistake
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radar Magazine)
 
 
 
"I Learned It By Watching You" 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Edition; Malia Obama blew off Democratic Convention to smoke pot @ Lollapalooza
source: radaronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
NewsFlash
 
Man climbing Trump Tower with suction cups because apparently Trump can't even keep his elevators running
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Capybaras sighted on Rio's Olympic golf course, were immediately clubbed
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you are talking about so here is an ostrich walking down the street in Wales
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hey guys, she's single
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
"I was accepted for my continuing degree at a university. Then one day I said 'f*ck it' and went back to Japan to become a professional insane person who wore too much makeup, didn't sleep enough, and lived for her shiny boys in leather and lace"
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gateway Pundit)
 
 
 
The GOP anti-Trump candidate who mysteriously appeared a few days ago has a resume filled with inconsistencies. Bonus: The article misspells his name three different ways
source: thegatewaypundit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is Ukraine just about to blow? Doesn't it already?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
The only man alive who has shot an American president will now be able to - wait for it - vote in the presidential election
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
That's one heck of a long vacation
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So the new girl texts me and wants me to go all 50 Shades on her tonight with safe words and everything. I said okay, but I don't think I am really that kind of guy. Help. Also, this is a real thread, assholes. I can show you the texts
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this river walker
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Judge bans Sebastian, Fla., man from ordering pizza
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Gays are coming after your guns; your guns with long hard shafts that shoot things out of the tip
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geekologie)
 
Video
 
Drunk Kentucky couple crash their Geo Tracker into power pole, then proceed to get stung by hundreds of bees. But the real story here is the eyewitness testimony given by local resident and possible Fark admin
source: geekologie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The Girl Scouts have a new cookie to overcharge you for
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab)
 
 
 
One Southern woman's harrowing tale of how she went vegan for a week and got tongue-lashed by dad: "This is so un-American. That's what you need to write. This is BS and being vegan is un-American"
source: thetab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Forget the free candy, I've got rare Pokemon in the back of my van
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline News (UK))
 
 
 
Possibly the most Fark-ready headline ever written: "Man uses cat as bagpipe to play Scotland the Brave"
source: deadlinenews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
With 12 individual gold medals, Michael Phelps has tied a 2,168-year-old Olympic record with Leonidas of Rhodes
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Justice Department says that Baltimore police have a racial bias...not in the way they drive their paddy wagons though. Don't be ridiculous
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Good news: Scientists think they have an all-natural way to clean up oil spills. Bad news: The method requires fire tornadoes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Farmer shoots neighbour's dog for mauling his pigs. "I don't feel bad about it"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
12-year-old boy to attend Cornell, hopefully graduate on time at age 16 and get a job right away. He'll now have the very rare opportunity to pay off all his Ivy League tuition loans before he turns 50
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Lad Bible)
 
 
 
Man wins lottery six days after surviving Dubai plane crash. Some guys have all the luck
source: theladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Once I was afraid, I was petrified, when I saw that crazed Cheeto going down that slide. But then I woke up and realized I wasn't that alone. No, I'm writing from the thread I call my home. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread "Survived another week"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Yes
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Trump's handlers have changed Trump's Twitter password and won't tell him what it is, apparently
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
When the plane has pulled away from the boarding ramp, give it up, it's gone...unless you're this guy, that is
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man charged with making up bear attack. The man was actually attacked by vampires and werewolves but he knew that would not be believable so he created the bear attack
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Ostrich travel pillow. The Skymall is strong with this one. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual workplace environment
source: vospitatel.com.ua   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
According to newly declassified military documents, a weather forecast in 1967 stopped a nuclear war
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Doggystyle isn't meant to be taken literally, my dear
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCHA News)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, we heard you like derailments
source: kchanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
UK's fourth-richest billionaire suddenly moves up to number three
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are the biggest tourist traps in each state, now who wants to look for that elusive skunk ape after we travel south of the border?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Officer shoots and kills woman in a tense "shoot or don't shoot" situation. Someone just forgot to tell the officer that this was just a demonstration at a citizens' police academy
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what a sewage truck explosion looks like? Well, thanks to the miracle of Russian dashcams, wonder no more
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unian)
 
 
 
And while everyone was obsessing over what Trump said today, Russia moved mobile nuclear missile launchers into Crimea
source: unian.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Increasing number of Americans living in a van down by the river by choice: "It's a netherworld closer to Trainspotting than Mark Twain" (pics)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Korea Times)
 
 
 
Breaking news from Romero Institute of Korea: Scorching heat changes people's daily routines
source: koreatimes.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
With no ISIS attacks to report in the last couple of days The Mirror releases a map showing where Britain's dognapping hotspots are
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best. Honeymoon. EVER
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 09, 2016
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Stupid: Driving down the highway reading a Bible. A-hole: Flipping the bird to another driver filming her do it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
"Robber flips off clerk after getting no money." Well, all things considered it could have been worse
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man held after climbing Buckingham Palace fence. Guards speechless
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Thanks to Constitutional due process safeguards and sloppy legislative drafting by Congress, there is a 50 square mile section in America's oldest national park where you can literally get away with murder
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Southern California's 'El Super' grocery chain produce section doubles as a Fortress Of Solitude for rodents
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Master blowtorch robber escaped with smoking hammocks, a Starbucks gift card and bug spray
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Say, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just... *BLAM* ...Okay, a gun it is
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turner)
 
 
 
Photoshop this limited supply of life preservers
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Shelley Ross recounts the time Roger Ailes proposed a "sexual alliance" between them. A Super Friends with Benefits, if you will
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Apparently, the only people still watching CNN are Fox News spies
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
The real life situation in Nigeria, with terrorist groups, splinter cells off of those terrorist groups, corrupt politicians, finger-pointing, and bombing is like a script the writers of 'Homeland' threw away for being too contrived
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
L.A. police looking for carjacker for hours find and arrest him. Also find another guy laying in a yard, roust him and kill him. See, he could been the carjacker and in the car and armed, except he wasn't, wasn't, and wasn't
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Donald Trump just suggested that "the Second Amendment people" can step in if Clinton wins the election. We long for the days when these headlines were just taking things out of context
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Is Pokemon Go racist?" There's a question mark in that headline, so I think we all know the answer already
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Because the first thing you think of when trying to deal with an abundance of cicada skins is to build a Godzilla monster
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turner)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scenic walkway
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"I never thought I'd find myself being chased around a pool by a naked man in his sixties with a can of squirty cream." Well that leaves Donald Trump out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Brevard County considers tax hikes to pay for Indian River cleanup. Hikes? I was reliably informed that tax cuts could solve everything
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Facebook is turning off your adblocker. So now it's time for someone to develop the adblock-block-block
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Good dog, what did you find to play with on our afternoon stroll? Oh my (Not safe for work)
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Has Drew put on weight?
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
"Sex Organ" displayed during "performance" at Kohl's. Still not as cool as a guitar
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Today in Florida lawsuits: "My son shouldn't fail third grade just because he can't pass it"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Australian Government thought it would be a good idea to have everyone complete their census forms online at the same time tonight...... aaaaand it's down
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
It turns out old people like sex, like listening to people talk about sex, and like experimenting with sex. Enjoy those mental images for the rest of the day
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Photo editing software for Mac - create photomosaics, eliminate noise, point and click to erase blemishes and photobombers. For those of us who steadfastly refuse to learn Photoshop. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Male dogs' fertility rapidly declined from 1988 to 2014. That would have been an interesting job description back then: "Dog wanker needed, great pay, no experience necessary"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
What do you do if you're a university chancellor who's scared of student protesters storming your building? Why, build a $9000 escape hatch from your office, of course. Wait, what's that noise outside?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
There are officially no more journalists on Fleet Street
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Organized crime in Canada moves into the shadowy but lucrative world of cucumber theft
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
People of Los Angeles, are you thirsty for the water you haven't got? Meet the California couple who uses more water than every one of you combined
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turner)
 
 
 
Photoshop this past vision for the future of urban housing, today
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Did the number of Americans who smoke pot really double in three years, or are people just less scared of the feds busting down their doors if they answer the poll honestly?
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Well I guess we know what Victoria's Secret really is
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Cosby rape case now a he said, She 6*10^1 said situation
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hello. Yes, this is dog. Sure I can give you a better speech ....let's talk
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines: The system failure we experienced on Monday was caused by a power outage in Atlanta. Georgia Power Company: No it wasn't
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
You know what is going above and beyond the call of duty for police officers? Cooking a lonely elderly couple some pasta after they were heard crying. Pass the parmigiano-reggiano cheese you crazy Italian police guys
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Old news: underground meth lab. Fark news: meth lab in the sewer
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How often does one pronounce the "t" in "often"? Youselves are ruining the English language
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Today's Sunday school teacher indicted for 55 years worth of child molestation is brought to you by the Cobb County GOP
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 08, 2016
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
Bar patrons find it hard to have a good time with large portrait of Hitler staring them down
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
What do you do when you're in a locked bus for 20 minutes alone? You record it, narrate it in a foul-mouthed rage
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Yes, we all despise cockroaches in our homes. No, you should not try to eliminate them with a homemade flamethrower
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Chinese tourist spends two weeks in German refugee shelter after filling asylum application instead of stolen goods report
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Stop painting your turtles
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Dopey falls on top of Goofy during Fantasmic. No, Fantasmic is NOT a Florida political caucus. As far as I know
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"And if you look out the windows to the left of the helicopter, you'll see a large group of deputies waiting to arrest me for my reckless piloting"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to a swimming pool
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: In it to win it
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Rainbow-colored high-altitude ice crystal clouds appear over Detroit (pics) making it pretty for just one day
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio 102.3 Portland)
 
 
 
What was the strangest thing seen in the violent mosh pit at Baltimore's Deathfest: A) demon sex B) a prayer circle C) a toddler dancing his face off
source: radio1023.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Now Irving Texas will be forced to arrest Clock Boy's dad for filing a hoax lawsuit
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This awesome series of mugshots shows you what the criminals of the 1930s would look like if they were committing crimes today
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Craigslist "missed connections": You a one-legged person who lost a leg near a creek; me a guy who found a prosthetic leg in a beaver dam
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
The terrorist attack on a parade in Tokyo turned out to be one cranky old man who was bothered by the noise
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Gatherings for ASS Club, aka Lucifer's youth army, sound pretty dull
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Disney builds anti-alligator wall, no word on if they made the alligators pay for it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Sharks wouldn't be so scary if they came with their own uplifting theme songs
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
That futuristic "straddling bus" from China that was supposed to revolutionize urban transit? Yeah, about that
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If Tornado wants to be the 2016 Deadliest Natural Disaster Champ, it's got some work to do to catch up with Lightning
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Photoshop these modern defenders
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
The ruins of Detroit's Packard plant may soon be redeveloped, depriving the filmmaking world of a prime post-apocalyptic movie set
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
This DC entrepreneur wanted to disrupt weed culture. That worked great until the cops showed up
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackmore Vale Magazine)
 
 
 
And in Somerset Magistrates court in Yeovile, a man from Gillingham denied assaulting a woman from Chaffinch Close in a dispute that took place in a Wincanton supermarket car park, according to the Blackmore Vale Magazine. Uh, Mornington Crescent?
source: blackmorevale.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Danish Amateur finds 1000-year-old Viking amulet. Just imagine what a professional Danish person might do
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
And you may find yourself unable to afford living in a shotgun shack. And you may ask yourself "Well, how did we get here?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
"People who marry get access to more than 1,000 federal benefits and protections, many of them financial. Considering the advantages people get because they are married, it becomes even more striking that single people are doing as well as they are"
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Semi crash spills Budweiser on the streets of Brooklyn. And nothing of value was lost
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Most of your friends don't actually like you. Sorry, it's science
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Delta flying again once system administrators restored deleted code line 'layover ATL'
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jets pound Rebels, still expected to lose to the Bengals
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Latest trend among drunks is to have a Harry Potter lightning bolt tattooed onto your face
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Driver reverses classic Mercedes and runs over rare $300,000 Ferrari at Virginia auto show. Behold the carnage
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man finds a small worm inside his Tesco cucumber, so of course he gives it a funeral and the supermarket writes a moving poem to celebrate Will's life
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What kind of a world are we living in where a man can't take his pet turtle disguised as a KFC burger on holiday?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Complete C Programming course. Interesting instructor: akido black belt, music journalist, magazine editor, technology writer, and technology director at the company that created Sapphire and Amethyst. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, it took just over a month for our first Pokemon Go related homicide to occur
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indian Express)
 
 
 
Mahamandleshwar Swami Akhileshwaranand Giri predicts WW3 will be fought over a cow
source: indianexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Erick Shute, the "sovereign citizen" who murdered his neighbors in cold blood, says it was "self defense" and he "did nothing wrong" because as a sovereign citizen he can kill whomever he wants
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: pet peeves
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So this is how EU membership dies before it starts... to thunderous applause
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The rise and fall of the planet's most awesome public elevators
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Tiger constructing a getaway car, drinking coffee through a ballgag, and lewd dudes feud nude: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/31 - 8/6
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
All Delta Airlines flights grounded due to system outage
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
First world problems: The bigger your house, the bigger number of bugs that live in it
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Akihito to make rare public address. Sources close to Japan's emperor expect him to plead with Niantic to fix Pokemon tracking
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Guy steals a bag from the government, government retrieves the bag, government sells the bag to a woman who then sends the bag to a government agency for authentication. Government left holding the bag...that Neil and Buzz used on the moon
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Driver who killed a man in a fatal hit-and-run gets killed the same way
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Your genes may determine when you lose your virginity. Of course leaving them on or taking them off also could have an effect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Wagon train stopped in its tracks by Crow indian nation. This is not a repeat from the 1870s
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Man has her father's heart and walks her down the aisle
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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