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| Sun August 14, 2016 |
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There are fears intense heat will turn New York City into a hellscape of flying cockroaches - or as one local put it: "actually an improvement"
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Q: What do you call a cat with four ears? A: Batman, for some reason
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Ah, Key West High School. Come for the Conchs cheerleaders, stay for naked man showering off with garden hose next to girls' locker room
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Photoshop this inflating Canadian
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Canadian crime of the week: Grand Theft Antler
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You've heard the rumors, now here are the numbers: More adult Americans live with their parents and grandparents than any time in history. Welcome to the world of multigenerational households
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Time for another Fark Photoshop Tennis Match, this time with an actual tennis setting
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Our old friend Jack Chick is back, and it looks like he found out about Manga
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Best Canadian cities to get shiat-faced? Montreal number one. Toronto sucks
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Cop gets a call about a 7-year-old Ohio boy trying to sell his teddy bear for food, so he buys the kid lunch, listens to his story, and saves the child and his siblings from uncaring parents who were then arrested for child neglect. Tag is for the cop
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"What makes marijuana users different from everyone else." The fact that they're stoned all the time?
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Meet the kung fu nuns of Nepal
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France shows the world how to fight extremist violence, by confiscating penknives from the local winemakers
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Remember back in the good old days when your favorite bar served free hard-boiled eggs at happy hour?
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You'll never guess what BuzzFeed did a story on and didn't use a click-bait headline for. An insightful story about the hunt for Poland's buried Nazi gold trains
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Fark Coloring Contest: Flower Edition
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CSB Sunday Morning: Olympic memories
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Man leaves his car with parking attendant, returns to discover it has been taken for a joyride. If only there were some movie reference to complement this story
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"We never expected the bikini boxing event to descend into chaos," organizers said after a massive brawl broke out, requiring five area law enforcement agencies to break it up. Thanks, Omaha
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Texas lawyer who lost every one of his death penalty cases, says his job is through after four decades of posting a perfect record. SALUTE
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Bike owner tip: If you securely chain your bicycle to a tree, be aware that some thieves carry saws
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ISIS leader in Afghanistan and Pakistan killed by U.S. drone. Wow, how fat was he?
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Should our children be happy or high-achieving? Why not both?
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Three senior citizens broke into a government stronghold and almost got away with enough uranium to make nuclear devices that would decimate the world
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In Florida, there is more oversight and regulations regarding: A) Becoming a gun owner; B) Becoming a gun shop owner; C) Becoming a barber
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Hot tub fire machine
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Nine-year-old boy escapes from kidnapper's SUV using bravery, guile and his trusty Gizmo Watch
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| Sat August 13, 2016 |
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Reset the clock. Riots in Milwaukee after police shooting (LGT local news live stream)
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Baltimore PD: "It isn't sexual assault when we do it"
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That's some fine police work there, Lou (with helpful "sketch" of perp)
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Man on Swiss train douses woman with liquid that bursts into flames, setting both of them albaze; then he gets all stabby on six people before police tackle him
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Britain's youngest Viagra addict is just 13. Wait, why does a 13-year-old need Viagra?
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China is planning on creating an army of giant bees to take over the world. We have photographic proof of the hives under construction
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Photoshop this minimalist abstract flower
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"A man (or woman) who is his/her own lawyer has a fool for a client." Meet the idiot who's suing every homosexual on Earth
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If you're left handed, grab a beer and celebrate
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This couple has spent 24 years bulding a massive floating home in Canada. They could have done it in a weekend or two if they hadn't refused to use power tools
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I'm sorry. Should we not have named a drink after a serial killer who fed women to his pigs? Was that wrong?
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One-way ticket and lots of cash? You'll end the trip minus the cash if the DEA has any say in the matter
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Photoshop this face-to-face meeting
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U.S. releases troublemakers near the border in hopes they'll emigrate. Fark: The Canadian Border. Fark Squared: Grizzlies
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American Airlines flight attendant found not guilty by reason of insanity for attacking crew members and air marshals. New slogan: American Airlines - you have to be crazy to fly with us
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Cops respond to emergency call reporting "paranormal activities" inside house, witness lights flashing, clothes flying around the room and see dog on top of a hedge. Surprisingly, not a promotion for The Conjuring 3
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Parents go nuts after someone smeared peanut butter all over a playground, raising concern their precious snowflakes could be allergic
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"I'm not positive it's him, officer, but his face sure rings a bell"
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Is it okay to wish Uncle Fidel a happy 90th birthday now that we're all buddy-buddy with Cuba again, or are we still referring to him as vicious commie dictator scum? Either way, everyone's good with the Zombie Castro jokes
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It's lights out for the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disney World
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You don't want your third-grader taking the state's mandated standardized reading test? Well, too bad. Looks like they get to repeat third grade, no matter how well they did
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If you're the summer intern at a local newspaper, you can tell the staff really likes you when they make you be the first to eat a s'mores hamburger. "I took one bite and I felt like I needed a shower"
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Institute for Relentless Killjoys finds that three glasses of milk a day can lead to early death
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Bad news: Southern California is having its worst smog in years. Good news: No one has seen Pacoima since June
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The worst thing about having a freeway built near your home in the Arizona desert isn't the construction and it isn't the extra traffic. It's all the displaced scorpions that move into your home
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Butter cow head survives 9 years, 4 stewards, 600 miles
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Man jokingly applies to be "wine queen" of German town after no woman applied for the position. And as this is on Fark, you can guess what happened next
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A tour of the United States' biggest icebreaker. Well, biggest if you don't include alcohol
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Photoshop this wandering rock
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Keeping in the spirit of the Olympics, what are the best sports books of all time? It's the gold, silver and bronze edition of the Saturday Morning Book Club
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19 of the weirdest American supermarket foods, according to an Australian. If Pop Tarts are wrong, I don't want to be right
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Woman facing a series of surgeries had no option but to return her beloved feline companion back to the shelter. "It would have been easy to pat the lady on the back, say 'sorry' and move on." But that isn't what happened. Welcome to a dusty Caturday
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Pope Francis visits with prostitutes. This time not the ones in Congress
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In latest rural craze, bored Irish teens discover the chicken game. "There is no other way to describe it than utter madness and we would appeal to young people not to engage in this activity"
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Woman sues, wins right to display vanity license plate 8THEIST
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Word to the wise: a superhero fancy dress carnival expects superhero costumes, not period costumes
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In Texas, you can be executed even if you didn't kill anybody
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| Fri August 12, 2016 |
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Friday already? That means it's time for happy hour, slacking off work and the Fark Weird News Quiz
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F-22 Raptor defeated by swarm of drones
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National Hurricane Center has updated its initial hurricane forecast, and it is calling for a better chance of a near-normal or above-normal season - unless it isn't
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Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Zimbabwe declared the centre of African bagpiping
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"Beautiful. Is that Impressionist art?" "No, it's Cremationist, but thanks for admiring"
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Man sleeping in dumpster goes through trash compactor, survives - although his clothes are a little big for him now
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While Olympic pools turn green, Olympic volunteers turn invisible
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Cops confiscate 44 pounds of psychedelic mushrooms found inside a home under a giant toadstool surrounded by dryads and centaurs locked in a timeless battle with fire-breathing llamas ridden by digital leaf people burrowing out from your mind's eye
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Step 1) Residents tell bank they can hear what sounds like tunneling. Step 2) Authorities do nothing. Step 3) Profit
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In world first, hundreds of ugly-ass baby Montserrat tarantulas hatch in British zoo
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Those 95-year-old tortoises are always in the last place you look (vid)
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Sometimes ya gotta grab the bull by the tail. . .and photoshop it
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Unmaking a Murderer
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An over-sized rubber duck stolen from a New Hampshire home five years ago has returned...but not before the family received postcards and pictures from all over the world with the duck partying
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Russia moves advanced S-400 antiaircraft system into Crimea, Malaysia Airlines waits to see if Pacific Ocean also ups the ante
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"Now, on Action News Live, we have a man hit by a truck. Tell, me, sir, what was it like?" "Oh, god, I think I'm dying"
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Turbulence causes JetBlue flight to turn JetBrown
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Altercation involved three dogs, a sword, an ATV, and a shotgun. "Police did not say whether charges have already been laid, or what those charges may be"
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The Pentagon bans Pokemon Go over fears it could be used for espionage
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Can't tell when Trump's being serious or not? Don't worry, neither can the people who defend him
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Turns out atomic bombs aren't bad for you after all - so go ahead, treat yourself
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Photoshop this diving dog
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San Jose Mercury News wins gold in the 140-character offensive headline race
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Death is no barrier. We have been watching you, and now you are ready. The League wants to help you become wealthy and powerful. Send money, we'll tell you how
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Can we have our stoat anal glands back, please?
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NJ Turnpike reunites boy with lost teddy bear he had had since birth, suggests bear get lye bath before any hugs
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Behold the rare male version of the Black Widow serial killer. Fark: he's been doing this for 50 years
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Of COURSE government-funded scientists are going to tell us that chemtrails aren't real
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Airbdsm
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73-year-old's attempted bank robbery with a hand written note and fake bomb does not go as well as planned (pics)
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Man survives being shot ten times in love triangle. Man, I dunno, if someone shot me there I'd just want to die
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Europe's strange vacation habits: Men shave their chests en masse, coast guard fights towels, and, of course, sandals with socks
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The Zika cure *agent orange* might be worse than the disease
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Hardened criminal who stole penis pump still at large
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"A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says..."
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On stage at a professional conference, a retiring Oklahoma teacher presents a black colleague with a confederate flag and a Klan robe as a "joke." But don't worry, he told everyone present to delete their cellphone pics so no one will ever know
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Austrian who posted Hitler Cat photo is jailed. Stalin Snake, Mussolini Mouse and Tojo Turtle still allowed
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NYPD rescues 22 dogs trapped in some clown's car
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Pigeon racer gets life ban for cheating, Mo Willems inconsolable
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"Children will stick anything in any orifice"
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Daily Beast removes article on how to have sex with gay Olympics athletes. I dunno, from behind?
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Major shakeup at the Trump campaign after two weeks of bad polls
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"Man rescued after his genitals get stuck in sex toy." So THAT'S what they're calling slatted chairs nowadays
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Stanford expert announces that there are only four good reasons to ever do something in VR. Ummm...movies, gaming, sex, and more sex? *reads article* Oh, fark the hell off
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Caption this ostrich travel pillow
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Man wearing back brace confused for suicide bomber in Bolton
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Jerry Sandusky due in court today in attempt to overturn his conviction. "I've comforted others, I've been comforted. I've been kissed by dogs, I've been bit by dogs." Wait, dogs now? Dude, gross
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn JavaScript and Python - a programming course for non-programmers (Sponsored Link)
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In Georgia golf community, 25 year old man yelled "fore" then shot his grandparents. He then tried to play through the cops
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Photoshop this distant wonder
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New York City wants to turn the Brooklyn Bridge into "Times Square in the sky," allowing pedestrians and cyclists to get punched by a drunken, anti-Semitic Elmo
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Arizona mayor refuses an invitation to a meeting of U.S. and Mexican border city mayors because it was written in both English and Spanish. "My feathers are ruffled anytime I see anything American putting other countries First"
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Facebook codes around the ad block that coded around Facebook that coded around ad block that coded around Facebook
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Man spends thousands in bid to get the 'perfect' face and ass, achieves neither. (Not safe for work)
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The problem with finding embarrassing or alarming videos is explaining how you found them in the first place
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Lesbian couples sue New Jersey for discriminatory law that requires them to try and have sex with men in order to get pregnant before getting approved for fertility treatments
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It happens every time: You're entertaining a woman in your home and she asks you to make her a hot dog so you go downstairs and make her a hot dog and when you go back upstairs you discover she's gone, your keys are gone, and your car's gone
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| Thu August 11, 2016 |
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Standards implication learning with good non speakers English common core
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Panda Express unveils the chork, a utensil that's half chopstick, half fork
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PETA wants to erect a tombstone at the site of chicken truck crash
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Hold my coconut and watch this
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Palo Alto housing official resigns after being unable to afford a house in Palo Alto
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Water park cancels burkini day
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"I'm 71, I can do whatever I want," may sort of be true, but slapping someone's 4-year-old because he's running around will still get you a felony assault charge
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There was no problem, we just re-landed
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Fact-checking has come to this: "President Obama is not the founder of the Islamic State"
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Ecuador to Sweden: This guy is getting on our nerves. F*ck it, you guys can come over and question him
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Photoshop these jumpers
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Your neighbor borrows your lawn mower and returns it broken. Do you: c) invite him over for a fake bbq and shoot him twice?
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*Username: doimakeurandy* "Seems legit"
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"We thirst for your blood" says Canadian terrorist killed by feds. Your sweet, sweet maple syrup flavoured blood
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Office workers hang noose over coworker's desk, find out Trump "I was joking" excuse doesn't work in real world
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Here's a look at what the new Rolls Royce hood ornament does if someone tries to steal it. In other news, people who can afford a Rolls Royce can only afford to live in bad neighborhoods
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Man catches blue lobster for the second time in his life, will be as delicious as the previous time he caught one
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Twin sisters give birth on the same day. 'Everybody keeps asking if we planned it, and I'm like, 'No''
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Arizona Department of Corrections to award-winning teacher: Go have breast cancer somewhere else, without insurance
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Since their incompetent invasion of Georgia, the Russian military has become something never seen in Russia before; competent
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In other news, here's the 2013 video of ex-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack. The ex-mayor was unavailable for comment
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Man charged with misdemeanor in double shooting. Apparently in Virginia, a chainsaw attack only qualifies for a brisk 'tut, tut' and gutting someone with a riding lawnmower only gives you two points on your driver's license
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A mystery object has appeared on the edge of our solar system and it can't be explained
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You would sing too, if you were a professional fudge packer
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Firefighters search for multiple missing people after huge explosion rips through an apartment building in suburb of DC. One question, why was Starsky there?
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If your pet fish has human-like teeth, officials request that you do not release them into the wild. Also, find some less farked up pets, for God's sake
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Police puzzled over porta potty pot
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Underwear thief's diarrhea defense rejected by court in rare 'habeas crapus' ruling
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The DEA has at least 209 million reasons to keep marijuana illegal
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'Weekend Warrior' gets prison for his 4th DUI in 4 years. Is that just his nickname or is it his Fark handle?
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Stupid archeologists read ancient demon-summoning spells aloud, dooming us all to a Suicide Squad sequel
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California wants to regulate cow farts
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Clandestine video shows Tyson workers choking their chickens on the job. Awkward
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Photoshop this running cowboy
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Gawker launches new website for men, called.... Wait for it.... The Cuck
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"I just want to be treated like everyone else" says emo vampire Darkness Vlad Tepes. Uh, huh, good luck with that
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Intel: Whiteness inside
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Oh, well in that case, climbing Trump Tower makes perfect sense
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If there's one thing I love doing, it's smoking crack and getting naked on the subway
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"The reporter was not successful in convincing any male acquaintances to try it"
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The addition of a few black rectangles makes Olympic diving Not safe for work
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So it's looking like the Chinese were lying when they said they weren't militarizing their fake islands
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Ford Pinto crashes into fire hydrant, doesn't explode. In other news, a Pinto was still on the road
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Brain-eating amoeba discovered starving to death
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MadLIbs headline: "What can __________ teach us about the __________?" BBC News: "How about 'killer whales' and 'menopause'?"
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Kansas home became the default location for 600 million IP addresses which has caused the residents quite a few problems, a digital hell of sorts. Well, now they want compensation
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It's been a while since we has a "Confederate Flag creates controversy" thread and it's a slow news day and we want to plug the fair, so here we go
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Florida 'shoot/don't shoot' police officer turns out to have a history of excessive force and resigning from police agencies
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Convicted road rage murderer killed in road rage incident. Irony tag trumped
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Manatee orgy causes traffic jam in Florida. Said to resemble Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly cruising the Fox News hallways on an average Wednesday
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Fark Store Daily Deal: AnyMote Universal Remote Control, coordinates all remotes through your smartphone. Not bad. But when can we ditch these cumbersome interfaces and just let me control my electronics with my mind? (Sponsored Link)
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That major announcement DEA was going to make today about marijuana? Yeah, it basically consisted of them flipping the entire country the bird
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Arianna Huffington steps down from *** Click here to continue reading ***
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Today's college bro rapist sentenced to zero jail time is brought to you by Colorado
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Photoshop this high flyer
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Man with monkey hiding in his shirt causes uproar on Vegas flight. Mostly because gamblers are superstitious about flying monkeys on planes. No one has ever won a tournament after flying with a monkey, look it up
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Scientists say they've figured out which is better: drunk or stoned sex. Wait ... there's a difference?
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Trump, running out of things to say, says Obama founded ISIS and used his time machine to elect Hitler. Well, now his poll numbers should skyrocket
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"Slayings in Mass., NYC reinforce fears of female runners." Are female runners that dangerous?
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Couple forces 15-year-old prostitute to have sex with 288 people. That's too gross
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You know you're one badass bee if you live on the edge of an active volcano and get all your food from a single wildflower that's adapted to volcanic acid rain
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While it's noble for a son to want to protect his mother from abusive relationships, there are better ways to do it than by becoming both her lover and the man of the house
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This. THIS is how you obituary
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Here's the new biggest dog in the world. Major the Great Dane
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Archaeologists announce new discoveries at Alamo dig site including main gate, west wall, rental car office
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The DEA is making an announcement on marijuana's status Thursday. Subby is running down to the store for a few cases of pizza rolls just in case
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 588: "Framed". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 10, 2016 |
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North Korea forcing construction workers to take crystal meth to ensure buildings are finished in time. Way early, as a matter of fact
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When in Kerry, Ireland don't drive down Kerry's famous Sheep Highway ...because it was made for sheep
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Ever try to build IKEA furniture ... ON ACID?
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Forget Girl Scout cookies, I'll have a Swedish Fish Oreo
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Edmonton car dealership overrun with rabbits. VW unavailable for comment
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Italian lawmaker proposes jailing parents who force their children to eat vegan, including those whose religion requires veganism. Bill suggests one-year sentence to start with, and six years if their kid dies
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RI Environmental Police think that there just might be something suspicious about a boat that drifted into a Warwick marina with a still-running engine and nothing on board except a fair amount of blood and broken glass covering the deck
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Mummified "monster" found in Siberian diamond pit, relationship to Putin yet to be determined
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Photoshop this dramatic rescue
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"China is a big importer of donkey skins from Burkina Faso, using them to make traditional medicines." Is there ANYTHING that China doesn't use to make traditional medicines? Apart from actual medicines that is
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Williamstown (KY) mayor says Ark Encounter is not the economic boon they expected. Insert Nicolas Cage "YOU DON'T SAY?" meme here
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"US seeks clarification after ambassador is called gay son of a whore." Well, yeah, that probably goes without saying
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DC is being overrun by scum
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Parishioners claim statue of Jesus opened its eyes, then quickly shut them when it saw its shadow - or something
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Man receives tax bill for 14 trillion dollars, thinks it might be a mistake
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"I Learned It By Watching You" 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Edition; Malia Obama blew off Democratic Convention to smoke pot @ Lollapalooza
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Man climbing Trump Tower with suction cups because apparently Trump can't even keep his elevators running
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Capybaras sighted on Rio's Olympic golf course, were immediately clubbed
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I have no idea what you are talking about so here is an ostrich walking down the street in Wales
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Hey guys, she's single
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"I was accepted for my continuing degree at a university. Then one day I said 'f*ck it' and went back to Japan to become a professional insane person who wore too much makeup, didn't sleep enough, and lived for her shiny boys in leather and lace"
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The GOP anti-Trump candidate who mysteriously appeared a few days ago has a resume filled with inconsistencies. Bonus: The article misspells his name three different ways
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Is Ukraine just about to blow? Doesn't it already?
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The only man alive who has shot an American president will now be able to - wait for it - vote in the presidential election
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That's one heck of a long vacation
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So the new girl texts me and wants me to go all 50 Shades on her tonight with safe words and everything. I said okay, but I don't think I am really that kind of guy. Help. Also, this is a real thread, assholes. I can show you the texts
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Photoshop this river walker
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Judge bans Sebastian, Fla., man from ordering pizza
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Gays are coming after your guns; your guns with long hard shafts that shoot things out of the tip
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Drunk Kentucky couple crash their Geo Tracker into power pole, then proceed to get stung by hundreds of bees. But the real story here is the eyewitness testimony given by local resident and possible Fark admin
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The Girl Scouts have a new cookie to overcharge you for
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One Southern woman's harrowing tale of how she went vegan for a week and got tongue-lashed by dad: "This is so un-American. That's what you need to write. This is BS and being vegan is un-American"
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Forget the free candy, I've got rare Pokemon in the back of my van
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Possibly the most Fark-ready headline ever written: "Man uses cat as bagpipe to play Scotland the Brave"
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With 12 individual gold medals, Michael Phelps has tied a 2,168-year-old Olympic record with Leonidas of Rhodes
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Justice Department says that Baltimore police have a racial bias...not in the way they drive their paddy wagons though. Don't be ridiculous
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Good news: Scientists think they have an all-natural way to clean up oil spills. Bad news: The method requires fire tornadoes
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Farmer shoots neighbour's dog for mauling his pigs. "I don't feel bad about it"
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12-year-old boy to attend Cornell, hopefully graduate on time at age 16 and get a job right away. He'll now have the very rare opportunity to pay off all his Ivy League tuition loans before he turns 50
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Man wins lottery six days after surviving Dubai plane crash. Some guys have all the luck
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Once I was afraid, I was petrified, when I saw that crazed Cheeto going down that slide. But then I woke up and realized I wasn't that alone. No, I'm writing from the thread I call my home. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread "Survived another week"
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Yes
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Trump's handlers have changed Trump's Twitter password and won't tell him what it is, apparently
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When the plane has pulled away from the boarding ramp, give it up, it's gone...unless you're this guy, that is
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Man charged with making up bear attack. The man was actually attacked by vampires and werewolves but he knew that would not be believable so he created the bear attack
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Ostrich travel pillow. The Skymall is strong with this one. (Sponsored Link)
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Photoshop this unusual workplace environment
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According to newly declassified military documents, a weather forecast in 1967 stopped a nuclear war
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Doggystyle isn't meant to be taken literally, my dear
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Yo dawg, we heard you like derailments
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UK's fourth-richest billionaire suddenly moves up to number three
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Here are the biggest tourist traps in each state, now who wants to look for that elusive skunk ape after we travel south of the border?
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Officer shoots and kills woman in a tense "shoot or don't shoot" situation. Someone just forgot to tell the officer that this was just a demonstration at a citizens' police academy
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Ever wonder what a sewage truck explosion looks like? Well, thanks to the miracle of Russian dashcams, wonder no more
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And while everyone was obsessing over what Trump said today, Russia moved mobile nuclear missile launchers into Crimea
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Increasing number of Americans living in a van down by the river by choice: "It's a netherworld closer to Trainspotting than Mark Twain" (pics)
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Breaking news from Romero Institute of Korea: Scorching heat changes people's daily routines
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With no ISIS attacks to report in the last couple of days The Mirror releases a map showing where Britain's dognapping hotspots are
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Best. Honeymoon. EVER
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Stupid: Driving down the highway reading a Bible. A-hole: Flipping the bird to another driver filming her do it
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"Robber flips off clerk after getting no money." Well, all things considered it could have been worse
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Man held after climbing Buckingham Palace fence. Guards speechless
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Thanks to Constitutional due process safeguards and sloppy legislative drafting by Congress, there is a 50 square mile section in America's oldest national park where you can literally get away with murder
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Southern California's 'El Super' grocery chain produce section doubles as a Fortress Of Solitude for rodents
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Master blowtorch robber escaped with smoking hammocks, a Starbucks gift card and bug spray
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Say, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just... *BLAM* ...Okay, a gun it is
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Photoshop this limited supply of life preservers
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Shelley Ross recounts the time Roger Ailes proposed a "sexual alliance" between them. A Super Friends with Benefits, if you will
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Apparently, the only people still watching CNN are Fox News spies
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The real life situation in Nigeria, with terrorist groups, splinter cells off of those terrorist groups, corrupt politicians, finger-pointing, and bombing is like a script the writers of 'Homeland' threw away for being too contrived
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L.A. police looking for carjacker for hours find and arrest him. Also find another guy laying in a yard, roust him and kill him. See, he could been the carjacker and in the car and armed, except he wasn't, wasn't, and wasn't
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Donald Trump just suggested that "the Second Amendment people" can step in if Clinton wins the election. We long for the days when these headlines were just taking things out of context
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"Is Pokemon Go racist?" There's a question mark in that headline, so I think we all know the answer already
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Because the first thing you think of when trying to deal with an abundance of cicada skins is to build a Godzilla monster
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Photoshop this scenic walkway
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"I never thought I'd find myself being chased around a pool by a naked man in his sixties with a can of squirty cream." Well that leaves Donald Trump out
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Brevard County considers tax hikes to pay for Indian River cleanup. Hikes? I was reliably informed that tax cuts could solve everything
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Facebook is turning off your adblocker. So now it's time for someone to develop the adblock-block-block
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Good dog, what did you find to play with on our afternoon stroll? Oh my (Not safe for work)
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Has Drew put on weight?
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"Sex Organ" displayed during "performance" at Kohl's. Still not as cool as a guitar
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Today in Florida lawsuits: "My son shouldn't fail third grade just because he can't pass it"
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The Australian Government thought it would be a good idea to have everyone complete their census forms online at the same time tonight...... aaaaand it's down
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It turns out old people like sex, like listening to people talk about sex, and like experimenting with sex. Enjoy those mental images for the rest of the day
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Photo editing software for Mac - create photomosaics, eliminate noise, point and click to erase blemishes and photobombers. For those of us who steadfastly refuse to learn Photoshop. (Sponsored Link)
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Male dogs' fertility rapidly declined from 1988 to 2014. That would have been an interesting job description back then: "Dog wanker needed, great pay, no experience necessary"
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What do you do if you're a university chancellor who's scared of student protesters storming your building? Why, build a $9000 escape hatch from your office, of course. Wait, what's that noise outside?
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There are officially no more journalists on Fleet Street
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Organized crime in Canada moves into the shadowy but lucrative world of cucumber theft
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People of Los Angeles, are you thirsty for the water you haven't got? Meet the California couple who uses more water than every one of you combined
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Photoshop this past vision for the future of urban housing, today
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Did the number of Americans who smoke pot really double in three years, or are people just less scared of the feds busting down their doors if they answer the poll honestly?
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Well I guess we know what Victoria's Secret really is
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Cosby rape case now a he said, She 6*10^1 said situation
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Hello. Yes, this is dog. Sure I can give you a better speech ....let's talk
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Delta Airlines: The system failure we experienced on Monday was caused by a power outage in Atlanta. Georgia Power Company: No it wasn't
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You know what is going above and beyond the call of duty for police officers? Cooking a lonely elderly couple some pasta after they were heard crying. Pass the parmigiano-reggiano cheese you crazy Italian police guys
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Old news: underground meth lab. Fark news: meth lab in the sewer
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How often does one pronounce the "t" in "often"? Youselves are ruining the English language
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Today's Sunday school teacher indicted for 55 years worth of child molestation is brought to you by the Cobb County GOP
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| Mon August 08, 2016 |
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Bar patrons find it hard to have a good time with large portrait of Hitler staring them down
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What do you do when you're in a locked bus for 20 minutes alone? You record it, narrate it in a foul-mouthed rage
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Yes, we all despise cockroaches in our homes. No, you should not try to eliminate them with a homemade flamethrower
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Chinese tourist spends two weeks in German refugee shelter after filling asylum application instead of stolen goods report
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Stop painting your turtles
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Dopey falls on top of Goofy during Fantasmic. No, Fantasmic is NOT a Florida political caucus. As far as I know
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"And if you look out the windows to the left of the helicopter, you'll see a large group of deputies waiting to arrest me for my reckless piloting"
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Photoshop theme: An improvement to a swimming pool
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Fark NotNewsletter: In it to win it
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Rainbow-colored high-altitude ice crystal clouds appear over Detroit (pics) making it pretty for just one day
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What was the strangest thing seen in the violent mosh pit at Baltimore's Deathfest: A) demon sex B) a prayer circle C) a toddler dancing his face off
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Now Irving Texas will be forced to arrest Clock Boy's dad for filing a hoax lawsuit
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This awesome series of mugshots shows you what the criminals of the 1930s would look like if they were committing crimes today
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Craigslist "missed connections": You a one-legged person who lost a leg near a creek; me a guy who found a prosthetic leg in a beaver dam
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The terrorist attack on a parade in Tokyo turned out to be one cranky old man who was bothered by the noise
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Gatherings for ASS Club, aka Lucifer's youth army, sound pretty dull
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Disney builds anti-alligator wall, no word on if they made the alligators pay for it
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Sharks wouldn't be so scary if they came with their own uplifting theme songs
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That futuristic "straddling bus" from China that was supposed to revolutionize urban transit? Yeah, about that
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If Tornado wants to be the 2016 Deadliest Natural Disaster Champ, it's got some work to do to catch up with Lightning
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Photoshop these modern defenders
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The ruins of Detroit's Packard plant may soon be redeveloped, depriving the filmmaking world of a prime post-apocalyptic movie set
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This DC entrepreneur wanted to disrupt weed culture. That worked great until the cops showed up
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And in Somerset Magistrates court in Yeovile, a man from Gillingham denied assaulting a woman from Chaffinch Close in a dispute that took place in a Wincanton supermarket car park, according to the Blackmore Vale Magazine. Uh, Mornington Crescent?
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Danish Amateur finds 1000-year-old Viking amulet. Just imagine what a professional Danish person might do
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And you may find yourself unable to afford living in a shotgun shack. And you may ask yourself "Well, how did we get here?"
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"People who marry get access to more than 1,000 federal benefits and protections, many of them financial. Considering the advantages people get because they are married, it becomes even more striking that single people are doing as well as they are"
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Semi crash spills Budweiser on the streets of Brooklyn. And nothing of value was lost
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Most of your friends don't actually like you. Sorry, it's science
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Delta flying again once system administrators restored deleted code line 'layover ATL'
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Jets pound Rebels, still expected to lose to the Bengals
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Latest trend among drunks is to have a Harry Potter lightning bolt tattooed onto your face
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Driver reverses classic Mercedes and runs over rare $300,000 Ferrari at Virginia auto show. Behold the carnage
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Man finds a small worm inside his Tesco cucumber, so of course he gives it a funeral and the supermarket writes a moving poem to celebrate Will's life
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What kind of a world are we living in where a man can't take his pet turtle disguised as a KFC burger on holiday?
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Complete C Programming course. Interesting instructor: akido black belt, music journalist, magazine editor, technology writer, and technology director at the company that created Sapphire and Amethyst. (Sponsored Link)
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Surprisingly, it took just over a month for our first Pokemon Go related homicide to occur
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Mahamandleshwar Swami Akhileshwaranand Giri predicts WW3 will be fought over a cow
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Erick Shute, the "sovereign citizen" who murdered his neighbors in cold blood, says it was "self defense" and he "did nothing wrong" because as a sovereign citizen he can kill whomever he wants
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Photoshop Theme: pet peeves
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So this is how EU membership dies before it starts... to thunderous applause
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The rise and fall of the planet's most awesome public elevators
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Tiger constructing a getaway car, drinking coffee through a ballgag, and lewd dudes feud nude: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/31 - 8/6
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All Delta Airlines flights grounded due to system outage
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First world problems: The bigger your house, the bigger number of bugs that live in it
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Akihito to make rare public address. Sources close to Japan's emperor expect him to plead with Niantic to fix Pokemon tracking
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Guy steals a bag from the government, government retrieves the bag, government sells the bag to a woman who then sends the bag to a government agency for authentication. Government left holding the bag...that Neil and Buzz used on the moon
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Driver who killed a man in a fatal hit-and-run gets killed the same way
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Your genes may determine when you lose your virginity. Of course leaving them on or taking them off also could have an effect
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Wagon train stopped in its tracks by Crow indian nation. This is not a repeat from the 1870s
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Man has her father's heart and walks her down the aisle
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