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| Sun August 07, 2016 |
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Your next bottle of wine may smell like taint
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Remember when mom said don't stick your head out the window?
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If you have to die young, there are few better ways to go out than on the world's tallest water slide
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Photoshop this forest man
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Subby isn't sure which is stranger, that the robber used a sword or that the salon had $4,000 on hand
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There once were six sharks from Cape Cod, getting turnt up on blubber and scrod. Not quite yet sated, for tourists they waited, while scientists studied rotten whale bod
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ISIS claims responsibility for Belgium machete attack, D. B. Cooper's hijacking, and the socks lost in your dryer this morning
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Photoshop this abandonment
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Is Edward Snowden the new Abe Vigoda?
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Just so you know, the amount of vodak you have to drink before punching out a moving Mercedes seems like a good idea is one liter
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Pro-tip: Securely fasten all your belongings before getting on the roller coaster
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Is it better to be a night owl or an early bird? Here comes the science
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Now here's something that may come handy for all of you Farkers. Here are the best ways to get over a hangover naturally
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Mormon millionaire buys land to create city based on vision of the Church Of Latter-Day Saints' founder Joseph Smith. In other news, it appears Joseph Smith created SimCity in 1833
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Before you pat yourself on the back for letting someone cut in front of you at the supermarket or in traffic, this woman let a girl cut in front of her at the hospital...for her liver transplant
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Going to visit your buddy at the county jail? That's nice. Driving there with expired plates? That's careless. With a suspended license? That's bold. With a warrant out for your arrest? There's a tag for that
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There's drunk, and there's "climbing into the back of a police cruiser thinking it's a taxicab" drunk
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BDSM coffee shop opens in Portland. Not sure how you drink coffee through a ballgag, though
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Photoshop these Russian tightrope experts
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CSB Sunday Morning: Sitting at the adult table
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The man who assaulted Dylann Roof in jail just had his $100,000 bond posted
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American journalist covering Olympics in Brazil shocked, shocked to find that Brazilian women dress sexy
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Historic Revolutionary War fort, destroyed by the British and then rebuilt, is facing an even more devastating and formidable enemy: Pokemon Go players
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I Love Lucy's much less horrifying statue
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Forget the brown acid. 24 people treated with Narcan at a music festival after consuming free 'candy'
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In the interests of public safety, some bars will call you a cab or give designated drivers free soft drinks. One Seattle watering hole offers free test cards for date-rape drugs
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"We're gonna need a bigger kayak"
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Well, on the positive side, I think we've found the winner of this year's Fark Admin Scholarship contest
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Live from Juneau, Alaska, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of commercial-free music on public radio hosted by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
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| Sat August 06, 2016 |
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Two British tourists found dead on Matterhorn. Man, Disney is getting dangerous this year
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"Been oan the randan, so he has...Spent aw yer money oan booze an hooers...An ye kill yer best coo for him?" - thus we raise a wee dram in farewell to Jamie Stuart, author of the Glasgow Bible
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Photoshop this living hell
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Iranian nuclear scientist who was kidnapped by the U.S. or defected to the U.S. who then returned to Iran who then disappeared has reappeared
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Fake pharmacist arraigned for selling counterfeit drugs. Authorities knew the pharmacist was phony because orders were filled in a timely matter
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Lewd dudes feud nude, brew rude moods, prude food and crude tubes
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Girl: 'I don't feel like walking down all those stairs, I'm going to take the chimney, it'll be quicker'. Guy: 'Hey that's a good idea' (Not safe for work content below article)
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Today is National Root Beer Day. Tell us your favorite brand. Also, float or no float?
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Photoshop this interview dousing
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Two Houston men charged with stealing more than 100 cars, mostly Jeeps and new Dodges using nothing more than a laptop and software readily available at most car dealers and auto service shops
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Alcohol makes you lower your standards for choosing a partner. Ric Romero reporting
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And lo, did it come to pass that the shirtless man, armed only with rocks, did glorious battle against the formidable piece heavy construction equipment known as a hydraulic excavator, until the police did arrive to intervene
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Good luck or bad luck? You're hit by a car and the responding firefighter is the owner of the vehicle you just broke into
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"Did anything interesting at work today, dear?" "I seized a giant mounted polar bear"
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Good question lawsuit, just what does the NYPD do with the millions in cash it seizes from people every year? Hmmmmm
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Mutant mosquitoes to battle the zika virus? What could possibly go wrong?
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Wolf's head keychain multi-tool. Bottle opener, beard comb, box cutter. (Sponsored Link)
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Town council orders local resident to get off its lawn
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Brexit supporters start petition to remove all French words from British passports, fail to realize that the word "passport" is a French word
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Apparently, some folks in Tennessee still aren't clear on the 13th Amendment
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Internet goes crazy in heat over Tonganese flag-bearer. Quick, bring me my oil and rid me of this meddlesome shirt
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Man vandalizes grave over a 56-year-old grudge. Dude, just let it go already
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Delta Airlines unveils new policy for their few remaining Muslim passenegers
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"Cement family shocked to find 14-foot python." Concrete evidence still awaited up and down the block, family promises mortar come
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This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club: What are the books you've always been meaning to read but never got around to?
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Photoshop Challenge: Create a magazine ad for the flying car of the future
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Drink beer, save cats. Just imagine how many felines Drew has already saved to enjoy Caturday
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Up and coming supervillain kicks his way out of a moving police car and nearly escapes on a train
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Enraged man leaps on, punches, moving car. "Dissatisfied with the impact of his actions thus far, the man then allegedly punched other vehicles nearby"
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A man dies. His wife and girlfriend can't agree on wording so they run dueling obituaries
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Subway changing their logo after 15 years, probably only because the old one now reminds people of kiddie porn
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Tough guy decides to remove bees without protection
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| Fri August 05, 2016 |
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Happy Friday, everyone. The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, and ready for some of that, um...hot action? Gross
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Scientists find evidence of ancient mythical flood
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Stray dog starts following extreme marathon runner in China, sticks with him for 77 miles. Fark needs an "awesome" tag
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Japan prepares to shoot down any missile North Korea plans on using to attack Japan's part of the ocean
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Unusual cause of death for victim found inside toolbox
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Bronx public defender robs Greenwich, CT bank. Hope she knows a good lawyer
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Lawyers fear attempt on the life of Turkish cleric; Turkish paladin and wizard on high alert, vowing to stop any attack
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Get ready for pumpkin everything, even Cheerios
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Tesla autopilot not only DOES NOT kill a person, but helps drive him to the hospital when he develops chest pains. Good thing too, since he's an attorney
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Pro tip: don't let the drug dealer inspect your briefcase full of cash
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Mainlining drugs into one's neck now a spectator sport in NYC's Washington Park
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Official Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony discussion thread. Live now on BBC and CBC. 1 hour delay for US East Coast, will appear on Tuesday for the US West Coast on NBC
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Man wearing "only underwear" pulls a knife on a cop. Where exactly he kept the knife has not been addressed
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Murder suspect fleeing cops gets taken out by officer glass door
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You look more guilty in slow motion
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A metric ton of dashcam and bodycam videos are available of the latest person shot & killed by Chicago cops. Oddly, none of them capture the actual shooting. It's as though they magically shut off again
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| (Some Cold Guy) |
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Photoshop these ice cubes
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The little loophole in "legal tender for all debts" that lets airlines only take credit cards when they charge you $20 for a sip of vodka
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"I don't think it was necessary for you to react the way you did just because I asked you to go somewhere private, telling me to f*** off and squirting me with your boobs was incredibly uncalled for"
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So, what exactly happens to all the missiles North Korea uses in its war on the sea?
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Mike Judge considering sequel with working title Obesetocracy
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And the latest threat to your privacy is... beer?
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Since the age of eight, a Canadian swimmer has been flipping the bird at his father before every race, and the father has returned it
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Photoshop this dangling light fixture
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"Mad" cows refuse to obey police officer in Maine and run away. Thankfully they weren't Black Angus
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Fark gets a shout-out during The Late Late Show as James Corden tells us all where to do whatever to him (Fark mention around 2:09)
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At least he didn't accidentally shoot Marvin in the face
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Having a Bad Year: Man loses one of his jobs, has to file for bankruptcy, and loses his house to the bank. Having a REALLY Bad Year: Then he gets arrested for trading meth for gay sex. A Farking Bad Year: Man is the Mayor of Fairfax, VA
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I-90 to close for Blue Angels practice, mostly due to the fact that the pilots are not happy with the slowpokes in the fast lane
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Remember when Josh Duggar was on Ashley Madison cheating on his wife? Remember how he used somebody else's picture in his profile? Well, that somebody, a NY DJ, is suing Josh Duggar for using his picture
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Crime tip: If you steal merchandise from pawn shop owner's house, don't go to his store to try and pawn it back to him
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Obama crashes economy with another 255,000 jobs added in July
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Strong Washington apple harvest predicted. Road apples still least-popular
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Chihuahua held hostage and love seat set on fire. Why yes, crack may have been involved
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DC Metro announces that it will start withholding real-time data from its apps over "security concerns", such as customers being able to see how late their trains always are
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Texas professors sue the state over a new open carry law, insisting there is no reason for students to come into their classrooms armed to the teeth, and the presence of guns puts students and teachers on edge, inhibiting learning
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"Ordinary people can't afford a home in San Francisco. How did it come to this?"
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April Fool's Viagra in your boss's coffee? That will land you in court
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"You can't just give Iran what they want," said Oliver North
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In the finest tradition of Columbia House, Trump's campaign website doesn't let you cancel or remove your credit card information for a reoccurring donation. Not that I'd know
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Steamcrate subscription - 30 games for $30. Small print - three months of thirty games chosen by Steam. Past selections have included popular games, take a chance and explore what they send. (Sponsored Link)
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Weird ways people try to smuggle illegal things on to planes, like marijuana inside a fake grenade
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| (The Best of Russia) |
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Photoshop this daring diver
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NPR host to former KKK leader running for Senate: "Are you saying that Trump voters are your voters?" David Duke: "Of course they are"
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Canary Island is on fire because, oh crap
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Operation Manul send cultural leanings of malware for make harm journalists in Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Very nice
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Depending on whether you believe local media quoting a dozen eyewitnesses or the official Russian news agency a mugger in Rio either did or did not try to rob a Russian diplomat, only to be shot dead wih his own gun after the diplomat took it away
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Let's do this by the numbers: Temp outside: 96. Number of dogs left in car: 1. Members of family who left him there: 3. Number of women who confronted them: 3. Racist tirade: 1. Whiny videos posted about it: 1. Only innocent party involved: The dog
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Creepy disheveled clown with black balloons wandering Wisconsin (pic)
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Millions of Kentuckians mourn as tragedy strikes the commonwealth
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So apparently the police can now shut down your social media accounts before they shoot you... Nothing to see here citizen, move along
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| Thu August 04, 2016 |
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Two American Muslim women asked to leave American Airlines plane after one of them talked to another passenger about the lack of water and food and a flight attendant said they had made him feel "unsafe"
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"Some millennials aren't having sex. But a vast majority are." In other words, they're just like everyone else in this regard
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Not news:11-year-old dreams of becoming a bus driver. News: He steals a bus and starts driving a route. Fark: He picks up three unsuspecting passengers before somebody notifies the police
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NIH lifts ban on ManBearPig embryos
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US Army racing to develop Zika vaccine. Preliminary results suggest it will run $1.4M per dose, delivered by howitzer
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CA Supreme Court: You do not have a constitutional right to shop at Home Depot. Besides, Lowe's has better prices anyway
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JFK Airport opens new parking lot for DUI drivers running late for their flights
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Man punches George Zimmerman and LIVES
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Accident leaves SUV stuck halfway down stairway in Queen Anne, and she is none too happy about it (pics)
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Swedish police officer cut out from vehicle after Elk crash. See, that's why you need a special license to drive one of those things
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Sheriff: "Oh, we're comfortable with our security policies." Escaping prisoner: *whoosh* Sheriff: "We may look at them again, but quite frankly-" Next escaping prisoner: *zoom* Sheriff: "I mean, things are all working out"
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Naked and dirty, wandering in the woods is good when you're an adult, but when you're three, someone's going to have to talk to the police
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Photoshop these genetically engineered silk moths
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NY police officer being investigated for racist FB posts, didn't have problem with black people when he was on duty and they were grinding on his junk at the 2011 West Indian parade (with video)
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The State Department has spent $185,000 on 98 randomly placed balls of yarn. Yes, there's a picture to deride
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Man leaves blackjack table long enough to rob a bank, then is dealt back in. Taa Daa
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You'd think if you're a mayor and you're playing strip poker with minors that it would be smart not to record it. But then again, maybe he wasn't using his head (at least the one attached to his neck)
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Sentencing adjourned in "bizarre" case of carjacker who threatened mum with toddler. Why he couldn't threaten her with a gun or a knife remains unanswered
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Charlotte man charged with conspiring to help ISIS. Which is just another reason why I'm more of a Samantha fan myself
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Has anyone seen the keys to the Olympic Stadium?
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After biting incident, police on the lookout for man in yellow hat and Furious George
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The perfect beer for 8 major life events, including bad breakup, new job or promotion, and capital murder charge
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Strange light spotted above Gateway Arch in St. Louis. It's a streetlight (pic)
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Garbage truck overturns, bursts into flames, is immediately hired by Trump campaign
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Ten 'Italian' recipes that don't actually exist in Italy. Huh, next you're going to tell me that Mexico doesn't have Taco Bowls
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Kim Jong Un orders his generals to land on the moon within the next 10 years. Citizens line up for what they consider to be a step up from present conditions
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Fark Food Thread: Your steak recipes, show them to us. Difficulty: not the top cuts. Got a tasty Flank, baby? Maybe you know how to work a Brisket? Bring your Round around
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Well, Trump's "ground game" in New York City just got shot all to hell
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Good news: GAO investigators find that buying the materials to make a radioactive dirty bomb is a tiny bit more difficult than clicking "Buy It Now" on eBay
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When will people learn that Baaaa means Baaaa
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Have you been dying for a camera app that forces you to look at a stylized picture of Joseph Stalin before you take your picture? The wait is over
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Governor refuses to be drafted as a Public Defender. Will go free agent instead
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Judge questioned by police over bizarre feud with bar owner who banned his dog from pub
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New listing on the market: three story, 7.5K sq. ft. fixer-upper, complete with cellar, large garden, defensive perimeter, medieval courtyard, ghost, possible escape tunnel for alchemists
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It really isn't a very respectful viewing of a relative when one of the family members tells another (a cop) to kiss her ass while lifting her dress which escalates into a full blown fight in the funeral parlor
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Do you dare find out what's really in the drugs your trusty dealer said were ecstasy?
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Photoshop this pit stop
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The next time you pull a boneheaded move, remember that people in Philadelphia need to be reminded to not swim in dumpsters
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Today's kids react to video rental stores: 'The old days were weird'
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Apple's energy LLC gets federal approval to sell wholesale energy, capacity and other services of its 130-mW solar farm. Power described in sales brochure as clean, lickable, insanely great
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You won't BELIEVE what Facebook is doing now. Click here to find out
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I could really go for a coffee, but I don't think we have time for a blow job (Not safe for work audio in link...you know like "dick" "blowjob" and cappucino)
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Remember 20 years ago when you could not escape the horror, the torture, the relentlessness, of the Macarena
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Memorial services planned for teens killed in Roswell. I want to bereave
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Will this protect you from Zika virus? Will it help you get the girls? (pic)
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Turkey issues arrest warrant for cleric. Paladin and half elf dual-classed ranger also wanted for questioning
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Brazil debuts new event for the 2016 Summer Olympics: Stun grenade toss
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F*ck yeah. Why profanity is actually pretty f*cking good for us. Here comes the f*cking science
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Heavy storms topple Babe the Blue Ox
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Surprisingly, Florida Man isn't the first in America to sue Pokemon Go for getting on his lawn. Take a bow, Jersey Man
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Video of Brazilian police unzipping woman's suitcase to find an 11-year-old boy stuffed inside
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People keep dumping unwanted pet rabbits in Louisiana park, forgetting they fark like rabbits
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Santeria priestess in Loudoun County, VA found guilty of animal cruelty after improperly sacrificing her roosters. Wait, there's a proper way to sacrifice roosters?
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This police militarization thing might be getting out of hand when a helicopter is directing traffic in the middle of an intersection
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Fark Store Daily Deal: ODiN laser projection mouse. More than meets the eye. (Sponsored Link)
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Kentucky Farkers: Grab a bottle of barbecue sauce and head for Henry County
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I remember mixing booze and pills, but with God as my witness, I don't remember driving to Whataburger in my underwear
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Drunk, half-naked, and shooting your gun in a church is no way to go through life, son--unless you're a deputy sheriff in Texas, in which case you won't face any charges
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Pakistani lawyer wants to protect their nation's youth from a) western oppression...b) poverty...or c) 24-hour cartoon TV channels, specifically the popular Japanese series "Doraemon"
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Photoshop something for these police officers to look at
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If you are taunted by your neighbor's 3-year-old, the proper response is A) Ignore it B) Taunt the kid back or C) squirt lighter fluid on his entire family
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There once was a time when people in America were happy when the bartender knew how to make their favorite drink. Now they demand beer-strength cocktails, high-fives from their server, and the backstory of their drinks' ingredients
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Don't give the cops permission to search your car? That's an arrest and conviction on obstruction charges
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Old and busted: Making sure your drywall is asbestos-free. New health concern: Making sure your drywall is gluten-free
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1. Governor of Missouri cuts funding to Public Defender's office. 2. Public Defender's office has the right to draft any attorney to serve as public defender. 3. Public Defender's office appoints governor to serve as defense attorney for poor client
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Reading makes you carsick because your brain thinks you're trying to kill it
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If you see a state trooper in a marked vehicle driving on the highway at a high rate of speed, don't tail behind him trying to document him breaking the speed limit. They don't appreciate that
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Name a celebrity you could beat in a fight
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Screaming at your wife and pulling the phone from the wall because she made your grilled cheese sandwich too cheesy? That's an arrestin'
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One dead and five injured in London stabbing spree; "One injured victim appears to be American," presumably because the victim was wearing sweatpants and a fanny pack
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Want to live the American Dream? Move to Denmark
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 587: "La Musica, Por Favor". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 03, 2016 |
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Facebook: The cause, and solution, for all of life's weird skin rashes
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Church of Satan pushes for after-school clubs in elementary schools. Well, isn't that special?
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Once in a while a group of people will come together as strangers and leave together as heroes. This is one of those times
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Skip pancake mix to avoid partially hydrogenated oil; try these more healthy, from-scratch recipes. Such as bourbon-maple syrup on egg nog pancakes or Rice Krispie treat pancakes with browned butter syrup. Mmmm... pancakes
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US sends B-1s to Guam in case we need to send a....message to someone in the Pacific. Yes, a message
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Federal prisons redacted possible errors in death reports. You'd think someone would notice if Jimmy 'Whackadoodle' Cortez didn't show up for his parole hearing
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Photoshop this royal treatment
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Community pot garden in an abandoned Walmart? Just because something is a joke doesn't make it a bad idea
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Free art classes expanded for seniors with dementia and Alzheimer's. Now, you can have confusing crayon scribbles on your fridge from both your kids AND your parents
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Of course it was the sea otters that caused a fire in California to burn out of control
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According to the Journal of Family Psychology, marriage changes how men drink in weird ways. Also, that girl in the picture totally wants you
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Stanford Bro-Dude Dumpster Rapist to be transferred to his home town in Ohio to serve out the remainder of his probation term. Universities in the greater Dayton area go to DefCon 2
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If you happen to know the whereabouts of 15 missing human skulls and an entire human skeleton, please contact the UConn Health Department
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According to Madame Tussaud's measurements, Donald Trump's hands are smaller than average man's
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Birthday celebrations in Austria can now include blowing out candles on a cake, playing pin the tail on the donkey, or having the party stormed by irate, confused Turkish nationalists trying to set the building on fire
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This is why you should always pay your garbage disposal bills
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Poor impulse control can get your Facebook account suspended, especially when you livestream yourself pointing a shotgun at police
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There is no good reason to dye your dog's fur to look like Pikachu, unless your name is Ash and even then it's not a good idea
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Australian vaccination rates rise to an all-time high after government removes anti-vaxxers' benefit. Who would've thought?
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Spanish parents win legal battle to name son 'Wolf,' dooming him to a lifetime of negative Jeopardy scores
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"Green dress" is old news. "Cat in a woodpile" is latest sensation
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Crystal Lake c-c-c-c-closed due to high levels of E.-E.-E.-E. co-co-co-co li-li-li-li
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A headline that includes the words "magnificent portraits" and "of goats and sheeps." Greenlight, please
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Florida state leaders unwilling to take needed steps to thwart what appears to be an ongoing guacamole crisis (pic)
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According to experts, the medical benefits of dental floss are as well proven as subby's 'bourbon prevents leprosy' hypothesis
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Tractor trailer tanker crashes into dump truck on interstate, followed by bystander falling off bridge requiring water rescue. With super-helpful pic
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Year-long conservation effort proves you really can shine Pooh
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Woman who apparently works for Mr. Potato Head live streams her boss asking her to perform sex act so she can leave early
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| (Some 89 Year Old Guy) |
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"Sir, if you want to report that the hooker you hired stole from you, we are going to charge you with solicitation." "I don't give a (expletive). I'm 90 years old"
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This is no longer fine
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Theme: Welcome signs for the 21st century (link goes to inspiration)
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Please note: in a fistfight between you and Pinky the Dancing Flamingo, it doesn't matter who wins because you're still going to jail
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New case of brain-eating amoeba reported in South Carolina. Scientists not worried since South Carolina residents lack key requirement
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Why do some people seem to like bacon? National bacon critic Scott Gold explains
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Has anyone else caught the "Red Faced, Sweaty, Dirty Toddler Allegedly Abandoned by His Parents" Pokemon Go character yet?
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The Pew Research Center wasted good money to find that Donald Trump supporters and Hillary Clinton supporters don't get along
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In an attempt to soften its public image, ISIS is now publishing pictures of its soldiers posing with kittens (Some Not safe for work images in sidebar)
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US Air Force claims F-35 is 'combat ready,' at least assuming enemy pilots will be willing to land next to it so the pilot can get out and punch them
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Important info for Farkers: Couples that drink together stay together
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ISIS is responsible for the DC metro safe track surge
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How to order from a beer menu when you don't recognize anything
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The end of the world has been changed to October 31st, so you may want to have your Halloween party early
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Area Woman Passionate Defender Of What She Imagines Constitution To Be
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It was a dark and stormy night. A stormy night that leaves a person wet and exhausted. It was full of terriers, and I couldn't run so far away. Instead, I'm here and THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
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It turns out the massive pink blob found floating off the coast of Western Australia is not an alien pod, giant mutant blowfish, or downed hot air balloon. It's a dead whale. Somebody get the dynamite
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When transporting 12kg of pot in your car, driving 5 miles along the wrong side of a motorway may draw some attention
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"Excuse me, sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" "Was I speeding?" "No, you're missing a tire"
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn Cloud computing. "Cash in on the enormous cloud computing wave." Um. I think we're mixing metaphors here... (Sponsored Link)
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America's Got Talent regrets forgoing the 5 second delay on the "flaming arrow shot at a target placed in a man's mouth" stunt
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Millennials are putting off sex. As a Millennial himself, subby was quite shocked by this revelation
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Man files suit to get kids off his lawn after they keep knocking on his door over the "Pokémon Go" game
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"Dude, what if we are all just brains being kept in jars living a fake reality?" *PUFF PUFF* "That's some deep sh*t, man. I'm gonna publish it as a news article"
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Father writes series of erotic novels in bid to turn gay son straight. It doesn't work
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Boston police make use of taxpayer money, add a $89,000 ice cream truck to their fleet
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Photoshop this factory floor
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"What's wrong with having a baby at age 63?"
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TSA: Stop packing batarangs in your carry-on bags
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Ever see an actor and think, hmm...where do I know him from? Don't do this if you're a cop assigning red light tickets
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In new book, 27-year-old Korean author insists on her right not to date
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Tired of blasting its garbage into international seas, Best Korea decides Japanese coastal waters could use some missile parts, too
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Judge to FBI: Recording 200 hours of audio at a courthouse? Yes, that was wrong, no, you should not have done that, and I'm throwing the illegally-obtained evidence out
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Bankruptcy judge refuses to allow Sports Authority to pay bonuses to top executives. "I think it's just inappropriate to pay senior executives a bonus when all the employees are losing their jobs"
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Pictures emerge of a child inside the Dublin Zoo rhino enclosure. Apparently the gorillas were busy that day
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| Tue August 02, 2016 |
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A tree that once looked like Elvis Presley has now morphed into Donald Trump. EVERYBODY PANIC
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Americans are now drinking more bottled water than soda. Still not sure why people don't just drink form the ta- oh right, Flint
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If your 22-month-old daughter drinks your methadone, don't try to counteract the medication by giving her meth
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Dumb but silly: Teen impersonates undercover cop to get waitress names at a Hooters. Making it much worse: When they arrest him, cops find "three knives, lighter fluid, zip ties and observed several names circled on the employee list"
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Photoshop this bicycle built for four
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Detroit man arrested after attempting to purchase grenades, a grenade launcher, and a Claymore mine. Neighborhood improvement society claims it's all just a humorous misunderstanding
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Woman shoots video and accidentally shoots self because . . . Florida
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AP report downgrades visit to Rio during Olympic Games from "be sure your insurance is all paid up" to "get your affairs in order"
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They're back - Car hackers take control of Jeep's steering and braking
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Trump's childhood home is for sale, and yes, the price is yuuuuge
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And in Australia, house decorations are just as dangerous as anything else there, with homeowners choosing based on looks and lethality: "Go all the way and install a high voltage electric fence see those bastards bounce off that real quick and fry"
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Photoshop the superhero we both need and deserve
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What not to name your son: Devell accused of killing mother, stepdad
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Slipknot to NC concert crowd: People should be able to publicly toilet upon each other, regardless their gender or choice of spooky mask
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Document leak from the Central Ohio Urology Group leaves people pissed off
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Pope Francis to have all male commission study the question of women
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"And the question I think you have to ask yourselves is, if you are repeatedly having to say, in very strong terms, that what he has said is unacceptable, why are you still endorsing him?" THANKS, OBAMA
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Tiger angrily removes bumper from car, comes back for radiator, but car already gone. Apparently tiger is constructing a getaway car
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$25,000 may seem a little steep for a Remington Model 700 rifle, or $220,000 for a Colt Cobra .38 revolver, but you'd be amazed at how having a famous murder or 10 attached to a weapon really bumps up its value
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Cornell student shares horrifying details on how they tried to turn him into a GMO and sell him to Monsanto. Or something. Hell, you read it
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Reasons to replace your cell phone: A) You cracked the screen. B) You left it in the sun. C) You dropped it in a nuclear reactor
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Man claims dental mouthguard shrank his penis. Man, how cold was that thing?
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The Finding Dory night light. - in stores now. Sleep well, kiddies
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Man invents world's smallest burger van, can fit inside lifts and bring burgers to your desk at work. Just one small catch... it requires a child to drive it
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Motorist pulled over by police for driving without ice cream
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That new Thai restaurant opening down the block from your house is actually a paid plant sponsored by the Thai government to get you hooked on their food and make you want to visit their country and spend American dollars there. Study it out, sheeple
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There once was a time in this country when bank robbers took some pride in how they dressed for their heists. We're looking at you, Mr. Flip-Flop Bandit
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Hell mouth eats up Australian backyard, causes all kinds of nope
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Finally, you can stop lying to your dentist
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Pro tip: When driving across town with your fully grown pot plant, the open bed of your pickup truck may not be the best place to stash it
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| (Some Guy) |
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Meet the Peacock Chef of China, a man who puts his peacock in the soup
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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Not this guy
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Product market strategy. E-learning course by David Fradin, former product manager at Apple and HP. (Sponsored Link)
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If you can't handle changing a dirty diaper, you might want to reconsider abducting a 2-year-old
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Hillary isn't America's first female presidential nominee, a prostitute beat her to it 144 years ago
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Cincinnati Zoo wants you to help name their ugly ass baby giraffe
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Fark's existential question of the day: Why shouldn't you eat a 15-pound lobster?
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Photoshop this little kid
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Woman steals $6.7m of printer ink. Must have smuggled it out in her fountain pen DOZENS of times
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Extinction-level asteroid on collision course with Earth
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Hello, I be Nigera's top email spammer. Now that I've been arrested, I need to move my $87 million dollar fortune to safety. Can you help me?
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Not news: Human breaks window, leading to rescue of stricken dog. News: Dog breaks window, leading to rescue of stricken human
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Santa Rosa man drinking beer in redwood tree, falls 70 feet. We're gonna need a new admin
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Marine Corps discovers new form of tear gas that can transmit through online articles
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Sex offender? No Pokemon Go for you
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Seaside villa has great views of Bosphorus Strait, including up close views of shipping traffic
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Naked man in the woods demands the police officer trying to talk to him also gets naked. Then things get weird
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Hundreds of insects released into London hamburger restaurants. Apparently they'll do anything to be more like their American counterparts
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One brand-new Mustang + one broken oil line + race track = a trail of fire Doc Brown would be proud of
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Chicago police release body cam video of unarmed suspect shot in the back and killed while fleeing. Well they wanted to release it, but damnedest thing, of the three officers involved, all of them had "malfunctioning" body cams. Technology, amirite?
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| Mon August 01, 2016 |
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This just in: Teens love weed
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Step 1) get patients addicted to opioids. Step 2) massively inflate the price of anti-overdose drug. Step 3) Profit
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Australia has too many Jedi? The time has come: Execute Order 66
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Ranch hand fined for chasing bear in truck. Authorities unsure why bear was driving truck
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Here's the new list of the top 10 most stolen cars. If you drive a 1996 Honda Civic, you probably won't for much longer
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This was an interesting little puzzle game. Warning: Don't click the DarthWiki link
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Preteen art restoration expert gives 5,000-year-old Norwegian skier rock carving the Monkey Jesus treatment
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Those cargo shorts you love? They may be hurting your marriage. "There were so many good things about the '90s. Cargo shorts were not one of them"
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CDC warns travel to Florida may cause small minds
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Fark NotNewsletter: Still turtling
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41-year-old Dutchman gets visa, flies to Changsha, waits in airport for ten days in expectation his online girlfriend will pick him up. Take a wild guess as to what happened
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Photoshop Theme: Olympic sports we'd like to see
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The hills are al- ... holy crap
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After he actually contacted the FDA about getting the blood of the young and poor to sustain himself indefinitely, Gawker outs Peter Thiel as an apparent vampire
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Fark-ready headline: "Man has no idea why former coworker blew up his home"
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Goofus rants at critics on social media. Gallant soothes critics with apologies. Kevin does doughnuts on critic's yard
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Study confirms what we've suspected all along - office workers are only productive three days a week. Add a Fark handle and it drops even more
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| (Some Loaf) |
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Just when you thought August had no holidays, along comes "Loaf Fest," the Pagan fire festival where you get to load up on carbs, drink wine, and maybe get in a ritual sacrifice
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Photoshop this futuristic hallway
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Officer Lou is getting tired of a suspect that's been taunting NYPD officers using a lost or stolen police radio
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The Le'Mons at the Concours d'Elegance of America proves that every dog has his day. And every Gremlin, every Pacer, every Pinto and every surviving Corvair owner
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When your alarm clock's a rooster: not terribly weird. When your alarm clock is 11 roosters that live with you in a cave: OK, weird. When you're almost 80 and have been living this way for 40 years: Fark-level weird
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Dear sober me: I DO WHAT I WANT
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Now I am not a superstitious man, but when a "smiley face" appears in the caldera of a volcano shortly before it erupts, that CAN'T be good. No sir, not good at all
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Whoever picked 'Olympic Sailing Ramp' as the first structure to collapse, please step forward to claim your prize
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Swedish man walks into McDonald's with a dead badger. Then things get weird
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Job listing for an 'Ass Manager' sees hundreds of people come for apply. Oddly enough they all listed Drew as a reference
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Pope found to not be infallible, Australia now stalking Indonesia, and the Small-Handed Talking Yam of Evil & Chaos: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/24 - 7/30
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Old and busted: "Hold my beer and watch this." New hotness: "Hold my beer and watch me win a gold medal"
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Living in poverty is expensive
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World's most expensive cheese comes from donkeys, probably tastes like ass
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Revogi Bluetooth outlet converter and meter. Measure the amount of electricity your appliances and devices use. Wireless control and scheduling. In my day, I had to "clap on, clap off." (Sponsored Link)
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"Hey Scruffy, hold my beer"
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Ever wonder if PTSD is "real"?
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Your desk. Show it to me
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Cylon supporters found in mass grave. Adama sought for questioning
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this big pile of ... sugar?
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12-year-old girl organizes volunteer day, rallies friends, schoolmates to clean up local pet cemetery. No animals, people were resurrected during this event
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Here is why you may end up living in a shipping container....down by the river
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New York Post publishes not safe for work nude photos of a presidential candidate's spouse. *crosses fingers* please be Bill, please be Bill (Not safe for work)
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Trump's face put in most prominent place in an Irish pub
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Question: It's 2016, where are my flying cars? Answer: Up in DeAir and down on DeLand
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Eagle chases away a man that was bothering it and flies off with his cell phone. Can we get one of these for my movie theater?
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Teenager makes racist tweets, fails to scrub her account before she gets famous
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These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all! Link archives »
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