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Sun August 07, 2016
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Your next bottle of wine may smell like taint
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember when mom said don't stick your head out the window?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If you have to die young, there are few better ways to go out than on the world's tallest water slide
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this forest man
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Subby isn't sure which is stranger, that the robber used a sword or that the salon had $4,000 on hand
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
There once were six sharks from Cape Cod, getting turnt up on blubber and scrod. Not quite yet sated, for tourists they waited, while scientists studied rotten whale bod
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
ISIS claims responsibility for Belgium machete attack, D. B. Cooper's hijacking, and the socks lost in your dryer this morning
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abandonment
source: cdn2.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Is Edward Snowden the new Abe Vigoda?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just so you know, the amount of vodak you have to drink before punching out a moving Mercedes seems like a good idea is one liter
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Securely fasten all your belongings before getting on the roller coaster
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Daily)
 
 
 
Is it better to be a night owl or an early bird? Here comes the science
source: medicaldaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Now here's something that may come handy for all of you Farkers. Here are the best ways to get over a hangover naturally
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Mormon millionaire buys land to create city based on vision of the Church Of Latter-Day Saints' founder Joseph Smith. In other news, it appears Joseph Smith created SimCity in 1833
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Before you pat yourself on the back for letting someone cut in front of you at the supermarket or in traffic, this woman let a girl cut in front of her at the hospital...for her liver transplant
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIWA Radio)
 
 
 
Going to visit your buddy at the county jail? That's nice. Driving there with expired plates? That's careless. With a suspended license? That's bold. With a warrant out for your arrest? There's a tag for that
source: kiwaradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
There's drunk, and there's "climbing into the back of a police cruiser thinking it's a taxicab" drunk
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
BDSM coffee shop opens in Portland. Not sure how you drink coffee through a ballgag, though
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Russian tightrope experts
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Sitting at the adult table
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The man who assaulted Dylann Roof in jail just had his $100,000 bond posted
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
American journalist covering Olympics in Brazil shocked, shocked to find that Brazilian women dress sexy
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Historic Revolutionary War fort, destroyed by the British and then rebuilt, is facing an even more devastating and formidable enemy: Pokemon Go players
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gusto)
 
 
 
I Love Lucy's much less horrifying statue
source: buffalo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSYX ABC6 Columbus)
 
 
 
Forget the brown acid. 24 people treated with Narcan at a music festival after consuming free 'candy'
source: abc6onyourside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
In the interests of public safety, some bars will call you a cab or give designated drivers free soft drinks. One Seattle watering hole offers free test cards for date-rape drugs
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"We're gonna need a bigger kayak"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Well, on the positive side, I think we've found the winner of this year's Fark Admin Scholarship contest
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Live from Juneau, Alaska, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of commercial-free music on public radio hosted by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 06, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two British tourists found dead on Matterhorn. Man, Disney is getting dangerous this year
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Been oan the randan, so he has...Spent aw yer money oan booze an hooers...An ye kill yer best coo for him?" - thus we raise a wee dram in farewell to Jamie Stuart, author of the Glasgow Bible
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this living hell
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Iranian nuclear scientist who was kidnapped by the U.S. or defected to the U.S. who then returned to Iran who then disappeared has reappeared
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pulse (Nigeria))
 
 
 
Fake pharmacist arraigned for selling counterfeit drugs. Authorities knew the pharmacist was phony because orders were filled in a timely matter
source: pulse.ng   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Lewd dudes feud nude, brew rude moods, prude food and crude tubes
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Girl: 'I don't feel like walking down all those stairs, I'm going to take the chimney, it'll be quicker'. Guy: 'Hey that's a good idea' (Not safe for work content below article)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Today is National Root Beer Day. Tell us your favorite brand. Also, float or no float?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this interview dousing
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two Houston men charged with stealing more than 100 cars, mostly Jeeps and new Dodges using nothing more than a laptop and software readily available at most car dealers and auto service shops
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Alcohol makes you lower your standards for choosing a partner. Ric Romero reporting
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
And lo, did it come to pass that the shirtless man, armed only with rocks, did glorious battle against the formidable piece heavy construction equipment known as a hydraulic excavator, until the police did arrive to intervene
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Good luck or bad luck? You're hit by a car and the responding firefighter is the owner of the vehicle you just broke into
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Did anything interesting at work today, dear?" "I seized a giant mounted polar bear"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Good question lawsuit, just what does the NYPD do with the millions in cash it seizes from people every year? Hmmmmm
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Mutant mosquitoes to battle the zika virus? What could possibly go wrong?
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Wolf's head keychain multi-tool. Bottle opener, beard comb, box cutter. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Town council orders local resident to get off its lawn
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Brexit supporters start petition to remove all French words from British passports, fail to realize that the word "passport" is a French word
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVM Columbus)
 
 
 
Apparently, some folks in Tennessee still aren't clear on the 13th Amendment
source: wtvm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Internet goes crazy in heat over Tonganese flag-bearer. Quick, bring me my oil and rid me of this meddlesome shirt
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pottstown Mercury)
 
 
 
Man vandalizes grave over a 56-year-old grudge. Dude, just let it go already
source: pottsmerc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines unveils new policy for their few remaining Muslim passenegers
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
"Cement family shocked to find 14-foot python." Concrete evidence still awaited up and down the block, family promises mortar come
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This week in the Saturday Morning Book Club: What are the books you've always been meaning to read but never got around to?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create a magazine ad for the flying car of the future
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
Drink beer, save cats. Just imagine how many felines Drew has already saved to enjoy Caturday
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Up and coming supervillain kicks his way out of a moving police car and nearly escapes on a train
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
Video
 
Enraged man leaps on, punches, moving car. "Dissatisfied with the impact of his actions thus far, the man then allegedly punched other vehicles nearby"
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
A man dies. His wife and girlfriend can't agree on wording so they run dueling obituaries
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Subway changing their logo after 15 years, probably only because the old one now reminds people of kiddie porn
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Tough guy decides to remove bees without protection
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 05, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy Friday, everyone. The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, and ready for some of that, um...hot action? Gross
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Scientists find evidence of ancient mythical flood
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Stray dog starts following extreme marathon runner in China, sticks with him for 77 miles. Fark needs an "awesome" tag
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan prepares to shoot down any missile North Korea plans on using to attack Japan's part of the ocean
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Unusual cause of death for victim found inside toolbox
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
Bronx public defender robs Greenwich, CT bank. Hope she knows a good lawyer
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Lawyers fear attempt on the life of Turkish cleric; Turkish paladin and wizard on high alert, vowing to stop any attack
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Get ready for pumpkin everything, even Cheerios
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Tesla autopilot not only DOES NOT kill a person, but helps drive him to the hospital when he develops chest pains. Good thing too, since he's an attorney
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Pro tip: don't let the drug dealer inspect your briefcase full of cash
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
Mainlining drugs into one's neck now a spectator sport in NYC's Washington Park
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Official Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony discussion thread. Live now on BBC and CBC. 1 hour delay for US East Coast, will appear on Tuesday for the US West Coast on NBC
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Man wearing "only underwear" pulls a knife on a cop. Where exactly he kept the knife has not been addressed
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Murder suspect fleeing cops gets taken out by officer glass door
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You look more guilty in slow motion
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A metric ton of dashcam and bodycam videos are available of the latest person shot & killed by Chicago cops. Oddly, none of them capture the actual shooting. It's as though they magically shut off again
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cold Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these ice cubes
source: yourbetterkitchen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
The little loophole in "legal tender for all debts" that lets airlines only take credit cards when they charge you $20 for a sip of vodka
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I don't think it was necessary for you to react the way you did just because I asked you to go somewhere private, telling me to f*** off and squirting me with your boobs was incredibly uncalled for"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So, what exactly happens to all the missiles North Korea uses in its war on the sea?
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Mike Judge considering sequel with working title Obesetocracy
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
And the latest threat to your privacy is... beer?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Since the age of eight, a Canadian swimmer has been flipping the bird at his father before every race, and the father has returned it
source: olympics.cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dangling light fixture
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Mad" cows refuse to obey police officer in Maine and run away. Thankfully they weren't Black Angus
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Fark gets a shout-out during The Late Late Show as James Corden tells us all where to do whatever to him (Fark mention around 2:09)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KY3 Springfield)
 
 
 
At least he didn't accidentally shoot Marvin in the face
source: ky3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Having a Bad Year: Man loses one of his jobs, has to file for bankruptcy, and loses his house to the bank. Having a REALLY Bad Year: Then he gets arrested for trading meth for gay sex. A Farking Bad Year: Man is the Mayor of Fairfax, VA
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
I-90 to close for Blue Angels practice, mostly due to the fact that the pilots are not happy with the slowpokes in the fast lane
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Remember when Josh Duggar was on Ashley Madison cheating on his wife? Remember how he used somebody else's picture in his profile? Well, that somebody, a NY DJ, is suing Josh Duggar for using his picture
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Leaf Chronicle)
 
 
 
Crime tip: If you steal merchandise from pawn shop owner's house, don't go to his store to try and pawn it back to him
source: theleafchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Obama crashes economy with another 255,000 jobs added in July
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Strong Washington apple harvest predicted. Road apples still least-popular
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delmarva Now)
 
 
 
Chihuahua held hostage and love seat set on fire. Why yes, crack may have been involved
source: delmarvanow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC Metro announces that it will start withholding real-time data from its apps over "security concerns", such as customers being able to see how late their trains always are
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Texas professors sue the state over a new open carry law, insisting there is no reason for students to come into their classrooms armed to the teeth, and the presence of guns puts students and teachers on edge, inhibiting learning
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Ordinary people can't afford a home in San Francisco. How did it come to this?"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Exeter Express & Echo)
 
 
 
April Fool's Viagra in your boss's coffee? That will land you in court
source: exeterexpressandecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"You can't just give Iran what they want," said Oliver North
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
In the finest tradition of Columbia House, Trump's campaign website doesn't let you cancel or remove your credit card information for a reoccurring donation. Not that I'd know
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Steamcrate subscription - 30 games for $30. Small print - three months of thirty games chosen by Steam. Past selections have included popular games, take a chance and explore what they send. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Weird ways people try to smuggle illegal things on to planes, like marijuana inside a fake grenade
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Best of Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this daring diver
source: photo.thebestofrussia.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR host to former KKK leader running for Senate: "Are you saying that Trump voters are your voters?" David Duke: "Of course they are"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Canary Island is on fire because, oh crap
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EFF)
 
 
 
Operation Manul send cultural leanings of malware for make harm journalists in Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Very nice
source: eff.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Depending on whether you believe local media quoting a dozen eyewitnesses or the official Russian news agency a mugger in Rio either did or did not try to rob a Russian diplomat, only to be shot dead wih his own gun after the diplomat took it away
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Junction Daily Sentinel)
 
 
 
Let's do this by the numbers: Temp outside: 96. Number of dogs left in car: 1. Members of family who left him there: 3. Number of women who confronted them: 3. Racist tirade: 1. Whiny videos posted about it: 1. Only innocent party involved: The dog
source: gjsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fond du Lac Reporter)
 
 
 
Creepy disheveled clown with black balloons wandering Wisconsin (pic)
source: fdlreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Millions of Kentuckians mourn as tragedy strikes the commonwealth
source: lex18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
So apparently the police can now shut down your social media accounts before they shoot you... Nothing to see here citizen, move along
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 04, 2016
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Two American Muslim women asked to leave American Airlines plane after one of them talked to another passenger about the lack of water and food and a flight attendant said they had made him feel "unsafe"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Some millennials aren't having sex. But a vast majority are." In other words, they're just like everyone else in this regard
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Not news:11-year-old dreams of becoming a bus driver. News: He steals a bus and starts driving a route. Fark: He picks up three unsuspecting passengers before somebody notifies the police
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NIH lifts ban on ManBearPig embryos
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
US Army racing to develop Zika vaccine. Preliminary results suggest it will run $1.4M per dose, delivered by howitzer
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
CA Supreme Court: You do not have a constitutional right to shop at Home Depot. Besides, Lowe's has better prices anyway
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
JFK Airport opens new parking lot for DUI drivers running late for their flights
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Man punches George Zimmerman and LIVES
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Accident leaves SUV stuck halfway down stairway in Queen Anne, and she is none too happy about it (pics)
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish police officer cut out from vehicle after Elk crash. See, that's why you need a special license to drive one of those things
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Sheriff: "Oh, we're comfortable with our security policies." Escaping prisoner: *whoosh* Sheriff: "We may look at them again, but quite frankly-" Next escaping prisoner: *zoom* Sheriff: "I mean, things are all working out"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Naked and dirty, wandering in the woods is good when you're an adult, but when you're three, someone's going to have to talk to the police
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turner)
 
 
 
Photoshop these genetically engineered silk moths
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
NY police officer being investigated for racist FB posts, didn't have problem with black people when he was on duty and they were grinding on his junk at the 2011 West Indian parade (with video)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
The State Department has spent $185,000 on 98 randomly placed balls of yarn. Yes, there's a picture to deride
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Virginia Metro News)
 
 
 
Man leaves blackjack table long enough to rob a bank, then is dealt back in. Taa Daa
source: wvmetronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
You'd think if you're a mayor and you're playing strip poker with minors that it would be smart not to record it. But then again, maybe he wasn't using his head (at least the one attached to his neck)
source: kfbk.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Sentencing adjourned in "bizarre" case of carjacker who threatened mum with toddler. Why he couldn't threaten her with a gun or a knife remains unanswered
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Charlotte man charged with conspiring to help ISIS. Which is just another reason why I'm more of a Samantha fan myself
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Has anyone seen the keys to the Olympic Stadium?
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
After biting incident, police on the lookout for man in yellow hat and Furious George
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VinePair)
 
 
 
The perfect beer for 8 major life events, including bad breakup, new job or promotion, and capital murder charge
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Strange light spotted above Gateway Arch in St. Louis. It's a streetlight (pic)
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Garbage truck overturns, bursts into flames, is immediately hired by Trump campaign
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ten 'Italian' recipes that don't actually exist in Italy. Huh, next you're going to tell me that Mexico doesn't have Taco Bowls
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un orders his generals to land on the moon within the next 10 years. Citizens line up for what they consider to be a step up from present conditions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Your steak recipes, show them to us. Difficulty: not the top cuts. Got a tasty Flank, baby? Maybe you know how to work a Brisket? Bring your Round around
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Well, Trump's "ground game" in New York City just got shot all to hell
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Center for Public Integrity)
 
 
 
Good news: GAO investigators find that buying the materials to make a radioactive dirty bomb is a tiny bit more difficult than clicking "Buy It Now" on eBay
source: publicintegrity.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVM Columbus)
 
 
 
When will people learn that Baaaa means Baaaa
source: wtvm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
Have you been dying for a camera app that forces you to look at a stylized picture of Joseph Stalin before you take your picture? The wait is over
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Governor refuses to be drafted as a Public Defender. Will go free agent instead
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Judge questioned by police over bizarre feud with bar owner who banned his dog from pub
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
New listing on the market: three story, 7.5K sq. ft. fixer-upper, complete with cellar, large garden, defensive perimeter, medieval courtyard, ghost, possible escape tunnel for alchemists
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
It really isn't a very respectful viewing of a relative when one of the family members tells another (a cop) to kiss her ass while lifting her dress which escalates into a full blown fight in the funeral parlor
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Influence)
 
 
 
Do you dare find out what's really in the drugs your trusty dealer said were ecstasy?
source: theinfluence.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pit stop
source: cdn5.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The next time you pull a boneheaded move, remember that people in Philadelphia need to be reminded to not swim in dumpsters
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Today's kids react to video rental stores: 'The old days were weird'
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Apple's energy LLC gets federal approval to sell wholesale energy, capacity and other services of its 130-mW solar farm. Power described in sales brochure as clean, lickable, insanely great
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You won't BELIEVE what Facebook is doing now. Click here to find out
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
I could really go for a coffee, but I don't think we have time for a blow job (Not safe for work audio in link...you know like "dick" "blowjob" and cappucino)
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Remember 20 years ago when you could not escape the horror, the torture, the relentlessness, of the Macarena
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Memorial services planned for teens killed in Roswell. I want to bereave
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Will this protect you from Zika virus? Will it help you get the girls? (pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey issues arrest warrant for cleric. Paladin and half elf dual-classed ranger also wanted for questioning
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Brazil debuts new event for the 2016 Summer Olympics: Stun grenade toss
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
F*ck yeah. Why profanity is actually pretty f*cking good for us. Here comes the f*cking science
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Heavy storms topple Babe the Blue Ox
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, Florida Man isn't the first in America to sue Pokemon Go for getting on his lawn. Take a bow, Jersey Man
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Video of Brazilian police unzipping woman's suitcase to find an 11-year-old boy stuffed inside
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
People keep dumping unwanted pet rabbits in Louisiana park, forgetting they fark like rabbits
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Santeria priestess in Loudoun County, VA found guilty of animal cruelty after improperly sacrificing her roosters. Wait, there's a proper way to sacrifice roosters?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
This police militarization thing might be getting out of hand when a helicopter is directing traffic in the middle of an intersection
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: ODiN laser projection mouse. More than meets the eye. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Kentucky Farkers: Grab a bottle of barbecue sauce and head for Henry County
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
I remember mixing booze and pills, but with God as my witness, I don't remember driving to Whataburger in my underwear
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Drunk, half-naked, and shooting your gun in a church is no way to go through life, son--unless you're a deputy sheriff in Texas, in which case you won't face any charges
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pakistani lawyer wants to protect their nation's youth from a) western oppression...b) poverty...or c) 24-hour cartoon TV channels, specifically the popular Japanese series "Doraemon"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop something for these police officers to look at
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
If you are taunted by your neighbor's 3-year-old, the proper response is A) Ignore it B) Taunt the kid back or C) squirt lighter fluid on his entire family
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
There once was a time when people in America were happy when the bartender knew how to make their favorite drink. Now they demand beer-strength cocktails, high-fives from their server, and the backstory of their drinks' ingredients
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Don't give the cops permission to search your car? That's an arrest and conviction on obstruction charges
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Making sure your drywall is asbestos-free. New health concern: Making sure your drywall is gluten-free
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
1. Governor of Missouri cuts funding to Public Defender's office. 2. Public Defender's office has the right to draft any attorney to serve as public defender. 3. Public Defender's office appoints governor to serve as defense attorney for poor client
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Reading makes you carsick because your brain thinks you're trying to kill it
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you see a state trooper in a marked vehicle driving on the highway at a high rate of speed, don't tail behind him trying to document him breaking the speed limit. They don't appreciate that
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Name a celebrity you could beat in a fight
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Screaming at your wife and pulling the phone from the wall because she made your grilled cheese sandwich too cheesy? That's an arrestin'
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One dead and five injured in London stabbing spree; "One injured victim appears to be American," presumably because the victim was wearing sweatpants and a fanny pack
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Want to live the American Dream? Move to Denmark
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 587: "La Musica, Por Favor". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 03, 2016
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Facebook: The cause, and solution, for all of life's weird skin rashes
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Church of Satan pushes for after-school clubs in elementary schools. Well, isn't that special?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Once in a while a group of people will come together as strangers and leave together as heroes. This is one of those times
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Skip pancake mix to avoid partially hydrogenated oil; try these more healthy, from-scratch recipes. Such as bourbon-maple syrup on egg nog pancakes or Rice Krispie treat pancakes with browned butter syrup. Mmmm... pancakes
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
US sends B-1s to Guam in case we need to send a....message to someone in the Pacific. Yes, a message
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Federal prisons redacted possible errors in death reports. You'd think someone would notice if Jimmy 'Whackadoodle' Cortez didn't show up for his parole hearing
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this royal treatment
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Community pot garden in an abandoned Walmart? Just because something is a joke doesn't make it a bad idea
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Free art classes expanded for seniors with dementia and Alzheimer's. Now, you can have confusing crayon scribbles on your fridge from both your kids AND your parents
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Of course it was the sea otters that caused a fire in California to burn out of control
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
According to the Journal of Family Psychology, marriage changes how men drink in weird ways. Also, that girl in the picture totally wants you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Stanford Bro-Dude Dumpster Rapist to be transferred to his home town in Ohio to serve out the remainder of his probation term. Universities in the greater Dayton area go to DefCon 2
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If you happen to know the whereabouts of 15 missing human skulls and an entire human skeleton, please contact the UConn Health Department
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
According to Madame Tussaud's measurements, Donald Trump's hands are smaller than average man's
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Birthday celebrations in Austria can now include blowing out candles on a cake, playing pin the tail on the donkey, or having the party stormed by irate, confused Turkish nationalists trying to set the building on fire
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackpool Gazette)
 
 
 
This is why you should always pay your garbage disposal bills
source: blackpoolgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Poor impulse control can get your Facebook account suspended, especially when you livestream yourself pointing a shotgun at police
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
There is no good reason to dye your dog's fur to look like Pikachu, unless your name is Ash and even then it's not a good idea
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Australian vaccination rates rise to an all-time high after government removes anti-vaxxers' benefit. Who would've thought?
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish parents win legal battle to name son 'Wolf,' dooming him to a lifetime of negative Jeopardy scores
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
"Green dress" is old news. "Cat in a woodpile" is latest sensation
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Crystal Lake c-c-c-c-closed due to high levels of E.-E.-E.-E. co-co-co-co li-li-li-li
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A headline that includes the words "magnificent portraits" and "of goats and sheeps." Greenlight, please
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida state leaders unwilling to take needed steps to thwart what appears to be an ongoing guacamole crisis (pic)
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
According to experts, the medical benefits of dental floss are as well proven as subby's 'bourbon prevents leprosy' hypothesis
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer tanker crashes into dump truck on interstate, followed by bystander falling off bridge requiring water rescue. With super-helpful pic
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Year-long conservation effort proves you really can shine Pooh
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman who apparently works for Mr. Potato Head live streams her boss asking her to perform sex act so she can leave early
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some 89 Year Old Guy)
 
 
 
"Sir, if you want to report that the hooker you hired stole from you, we are going to charge you with solicitation." "I don't give a (expletive). I'm 90 years old"
source: capecodtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nib)
 
 
 
This is no longer fine
source: thenib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Welcome signs for the 21st century (link goes to inspiration)
source: sarasotacrookedlawyers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: in a fistfight between you and Pinky the Dancing Flamingo, it doesn't matter who wins because you're still going to jail
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
New case of brain-eating amoeba reported in South Carolina. Scientists not worried since South Carolina residents lack key requirement
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Why do some people seem to like bacon? National bacon critic Scott Gold explains
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Has anyone else caught the "Red Faced, Sweaty, Dirty Toddler Allegedly Abandoned by His Parents" Pokemon Go character yet?
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The Pew Research Center wasted good money to find that Donald Trump supporters and Hillary Clinton supporters don't get along
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In an attempt to soften its public image, ISIS is now publishing pictures of its soldiers posing with kittens (Some Not safe for work images in sidebar)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
US Air Force claims F-35 is 'combat ready,' at least assuming enemy pilots will be willing to land next to it so the pilot can get out and punch them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decanter)
 
 
 
Important info for Farkers: Couples that drink together stay together
source: decanter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
ISIS is responsible for the DC metro safe track surge
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
How to order from a beer menu when you don't recognize anything
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
The end of the world has been changed to October 31st, so you may want to have your Halloween party early
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Area Woman Passionate Defender Of What She Imagines Constitution To Be
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a dark and stormy night. A stormy night that leaves a person wet and exhausted. It was full of terriers, and I couldn't run so far away. Instead, I'm here and THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the massive pink blob found floating off the coast of Western Australia is not an alien pod, giant mutant blowfish, or downed hot air balloon. It's a dead whale. Somebody get the dynamite
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
When transporting 12kg of pot in your car, driving 5 miles along the wrong side of a motorway may draw some attention
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Excuse me, sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" "Was I speeding?" "No, you're missing a tire"
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn Cloud computing. "Cash in on the enormous cloud computing wave." Um. I think we're mixing metaphors here... (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
America's Got Talent regrets forgoing the 5 second delay on the "flaming arrow shot at a target placed in a man's mouth" stunt
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Millennials are putting off sex. As a Millennial himself, subby was quite shocked by this revelation
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Man files suit to get kids off his lawn after they keep knocking on his door over the "Pokémon Go" game
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Dude, what if we are all just brains being kept in jars living a fake reality?" *PUFF PUFF* "That's some deep sh*t, man. I'm gonna publish it as a news article"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Father writes series of erotic novels in bid to turn gay son straight. It doesn't work
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Boston police make use of taxpayer money, add a $89,000 ice cream truck to their fleet
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this factory floor
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"What's wrong with having a baby at age 63?"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
TSA: Stop packing batarangs in your carry-on bags
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Ever see an actor and think, hmm...where do I know him from? Don't do this if you're a cop assigning red light tickets
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
In new book, 27-year-old Korean author insists on her right not to date
source: women.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tired of blasting its garbage into international seas, Best Korea decides Japanese coastal waters could use some missile parts, too
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Judge to FBI: Recording 200 hours of audio at a courthouse? Yes, that was wrong, no, you should not have done that, and I'm throwing the illegally-obtained evidence out
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bankruptcy judge refuses to allow Sports Authority to pay bonuses to top executives. "I think it's just inappropriate to pay senior executives a bonus when all the employees are losing their jobs"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pictures emerge of a child inside the Dublin Zoo rhino enclosure. Apparently the gorillas were busy that day
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 02, 2016
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
A tree that once looked like Elvis Presley has now morphed into Donald Trump. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Benzinga)
 
 
 
Americans are now drinking more bottled water than soda. Still not sure why people don't just drink form the ta- oh right, Flint
source: benzinga.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If your 22-month-old daughter drinks your methadone, don't try to counteract the medication by giving her meth
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Dumb but silly: Teen impersonates undercover cop to get waitress names at a Hooters. Making it much worse: When they arrest him, cops find "three knives, lighter fluid, zip ties and observed several names circled on the employee list"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bicycle built for four
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Detroit man arrested after attempting to purchase grenades, a grenade launcher, and a Claymore mine. Neighborhood improvement society claims it's all just a humorous misunderstanding
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman shoots video and accidentally shoots self because . . . Florida
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
AP report downgrades visit to Rio during Olympic Games from "be sure your insurance is all paid up" to "get your affairs in order"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
They're back - Car hackers take control of Jeep's steering and braking
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Trump's childhood home is for sale, and yes, the price is yuuuuge
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And in Australia, house decorations are just as dangerous as anything else there, with homeowners choosing based on looks and lethality: "Go all the way and install a high voltage electric fence see those bastards bounce off that real quick and fry"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Photoshop the superhero we both need and deserve
source: i17.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJTV Jackson)
 
 
 
What not to name your son: Devell accused of killing mother, stepdad
source: wjtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1190 KEX Portland)
 
 
 
Slipknot to NC concert crowd: People should be able to publicly toilet upon each other, regardless their gender or choice of spooky mask
source: 1190kex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Document leak from the Central Ohio Urology Group leaves people pissed off
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to have all male commission study the question of women
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"And the question I think you have to ask yourselves is, if you are repeatedly having to say, in very strong terms, that what he has said is unacceptable, why are you still endorsing him?" THANKS, OBAMA
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tiger angrily removes bumper from car, comes back for radiator, but car already gone. Apparently tiger is constructing a getaway car
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
$25,000 may seem a little steep for a Remington Model 700 rifle, or $220,000 for a Colt Cobra .38 revolver, but you'd be amazed at how having a famous murder or 10 attached to a weapon really bumps up its value
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent Science News)
 
 
 
Cornell student shares horrifying details on how they tried to turn him into a GMO and sell him to Monsanto. Or something. Hell, you read it
source: independentsciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Reasons to replace your cell phone: A) You cracked the screen. B) You left it in the sun. C) You dropped it in a nuclear reactor
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Man claims dental mouthguard shrank his penis. Man, how cold was that thing?
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The Finding Dory night light. - in stores now. Sleep well, kiddies
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man invents world's smallest burger van, can fit inside lifts and bring burgers to your desk at work. Just one small catch... it requires a child to drive it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Motorist pulled over by police for driving without ice cream
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
That new Thai restaurant opening down the block from your house is actually a paid plant sponsored by the Thai government to get you hooked on their food and make you want to visit their country and spend American dollars there. Study it out, sheeple
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
There once was a time in this country when bank robbers took some pride in how they dressed for their heists. We're looking at you, Mr. Flip-Flop Bandit
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Hell mouth eats up Australian backyard, causes all kinds of nope
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Finally, you can stop lying to your dentist
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Pro tip: When driving across town with your fully grown pot plant, the open bed of your pickup truck may not be the best place to stash it
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Meet the Peacock Chef of China, a man who puts his peacock in the soup
source: luckypeach.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Not this guy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Product market strategy. E-learning course by David Fradin, former product manager at Apple and HP. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you can't handle changing a dirty diaper, you might want to reconsider abducting a 2-year-old
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Hillary isn't America's first female presidential nominee, a prostitute beat her to it 144 years ago
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Cincinnati Zoo wants you to help name their ugly ass baby giraffe
source: 700wlw.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Fark's existential question of the day: Why shouldn't you eat a 15-pound lobster?
source: tides.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little kid
source: static3.uk.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Woman steals $6.7m of printer ink. Must have smuggled it out in her fountain pen DOZENS of times
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Extinction-level asteroid on collision course with Earth
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Hello, I be Nigera's top email spammer. Now that I've been arrested, I need to move my $87 million dollar fortune to safety. Can you help me?
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Human breaks window, leading to rescue of stricken dog. News: Dog breaks window, leading to rescue of stricken human
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Santa Rosa man drinking beer in redwood tree, falls 70 feet. We're gonna need a new admin
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
Marine Corps discovers new form of tear gas that can transmit through online articles
source: marinecorpstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sex offender? No Pokemon Go for you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(gCaptain)
 
 
 
Seaside villa has great views of Bosphorus Strait, including up close views of shipping traffic
source: gcaptain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Naked man in the woods demands the police officer trying to talk to him also gets naked. Then things get weird
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Hundreds of insects released into London hamburger restaurants. Apparently they'll do anything to be more like their American counterparts
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
One brand-new Mustang + one broken oil line + race track = a trail of fire Doc Brown would be proud of
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago police release body cam video of unarmed suspect shot in the back and killed while fleeing. Well they wanted to release it, but damnedest thing, of the three officers involved, all of them had "malfunctioning" body cams. Technology, amirite?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 01, 2016
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
This just in: Teens love weed
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Step 1) get patients addicted to opioids. Step 2) massively inflate the price of anti-overdose drug. Step 3) Profit
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Australia has too many Jedi? The time has come: Execute Order 66
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ranch hand fined for chasing bear in truck. Authorities unsure why bear was driving truck
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NESN Fuel)
 
 
 
Here's the new list of the top 10 most stolen cars. If you drive a 1996 Honda Civic, you probably won't for much longer
source: nesnfuel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TV Tropes)
 
 
 
This was an interesting little puzzle game. Warning: Don't click the DarthWiki link
source: tvtropes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Preteen art restoration expert gives 5,000-year-old Norwegian skier rock carving the Monkey Jesus treatment
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Those cargo shorts you love? They may be hurting your marriage. "There were so many good things about the '90s. Cargo shorts were not one of them"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
CDC warns travel to Florida may cause small minds
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Still turtling
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
41-year-old Dutchman gets visa, flies to Changsha, waits in airport for ten days in expectation his online girlfriend will pick him up. Take a wild guess as to what happened
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Olympic sports we'd like to see
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The hills are al- ... holy crap
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
After he actually contacted the FDA about getting the blood of the young and poor to sustain himself indefinitely, Gawker outs Peter Thiel as an apparent vampire
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Man has no idea why former coworker blew up his home"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Goofus rants at critics on social media. Gallant soothes critics with apologies. Kevin does doughnuts on critic's yard
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Study confirms what we've suspected all along - office workers are only productive three days a week. Add a Fark handle and it drops even more
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Loaf)
 
 
 
Just when you thought August had no holidays, along comes "Loaf Fest," the Pagan fire festival where you get to load up on carbs, drink wine, and maybe get in a ritual sacrifice
source: wildhunt.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this futuristic hallway
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Officer Lou is getting tired of a suspect that's been taunting NYPD officers using a lost or stolen police radio
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
The Le'Mons at the Concours d'Elegance of America proves that every dog has his day. And every Gremlin, every Pacer, every Pinto and every surviving Corvair owner
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
When your alarm clock's a rooster: not terribly weird. When your alarm clock is 11 roosters that live with you in a cave: OK, weird. When you're almost 80 and have been living this way for 40 years: Fark-level weird
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Dear sober me: I DO WHAT I WANT
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Now I am not a superstitious man, but when a "smiley face" appears in the caldera of a volcano shortly before it erupts, that CAN'T be good. No sir, not good at all
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Whoever picked 'Olympic Sailing Ramp' as the first structure to collapse, please step forward to claim your prize
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish man walks into McDonald's with a dead badger. Then things get weird
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Job listing for an 'Ass Manager' sees hundreds of people come for apply. Oddly enough they all listed Drew as a reference
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Pope found to not be infallible, Australia now stalking Indonesia, and the Small-Handed Talking Yam of Evil & Chaos: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/24 - 7/30
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "Hold my beer and watch this." New hotness: "Hold my beer and watch me win a gold medal"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Living in poverty is expensive
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
World's most expensive cheese comes from donkeys, probably tastes like ass
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Revogi Bluetooth outlet converter and meter. Measure the amount of electricity your appliances and devices use. Wireless control and scheduling. In my day, I had to "clap on, clap off." (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
"Hey Scruffy, hold my beer"
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Ever wonder if PTSD is "real"?
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Your desk. Show it to me
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Cylon supporters found in mass grave. Adama sought for questioning
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big pile of ... sugar?
source: xcook.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
12-year-old girl organizes volunteer day, rallies friends, schoolmates to clean up local pet cemetery. No animals, people were resurrected during this event
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here is why you may end up living in a shipping container....down by the river
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York Post publishes not safe for work nude photos of a presidential candidate's spouse. *crosses fingers* please be Bill, please be Bill (Not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump's face put in most prominent place in an Irish pub
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Question: It's 2016, where are my flying cars? Answer: Up in DeAir and down on DeLand
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Eagle chases away a man that was bothering it and flies off with his cell phone. Can we get one of these for my movie theater?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Teenager makes racist tweets, fails to scrub her account before she gets famous
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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