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Sun July 31, 2016
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
7000 Turkish troops surround and seal off US/NATO nuclear air base. It's just a "safety inspection." Nothing to see here, move along
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Just a reminder - If you are using duct tape to restrain a burglar, it's probably not a good idea to tie it tightly around his nose and mouth
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Donald Trump announces sponsorship of US Olympic team
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old mooring web ring
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bar to patrons: Stop playing Candy Crush and drink your beer
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
You know the presidential election has gotten weird when a dead gorilla is polling at 5% of the vote
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Baby giraffe born in Cincinnati Zoo. That is one tall baby
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Homeless man denied help for lack of evidence of absence of home
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tree that's like something out of a Robert Frost poem
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 25 News)
 
 
 
Trash service stops until further notice in Flint, MI. Residents now watching Mad Max and longing for such a utopia
source: nbc25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Naked, breaking and entering and drinking a pina colada mix is no way to go through life, son
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, let's see how ISIS is doing in Iraq these days....oh, wow...that certainly did not end the way they intended
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Why people think potheads are lazy. I'd write a joke for this headline, but...dude
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's like rain on your wedding day
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Paraguay police raided drug lord's cell after learning he was planning to escape by blowing a hole in prison wall. Discover he was only building an extension
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you happened to have seen a missing AN-32 military plane recently, the Indian Air Force would love to hear from you
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Apparently, people in Canada still think the "travelling gnome prank" is funny
source: vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
It takes a good guy with a water jet pack to stop a bad boat with a fire
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Amsterdam building world's largest bonfire
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The fact that scores of pet owners were duped by a fake app that promised to provide on-demand dog-poo pickup for a monthly fee shows how lazy we've become as a society
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Current Affairs)
 
 
 
The New York Times Ivy League Upper-Class Twit Wedding Section attempts to justify its existence
source: currentaffairs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A guy kicks his 8 year porn addiction, takes up fishing. Subby says: only 8? Pffft, amateur
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this headless baseman
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Archaic Technology Chicanery
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
That feeling you get after criticizing the fire marshal in public, then having to get rescued from a stuck elevator by the same fire department
source: elections.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
French Muslims refuse to bury terrorist who killed priest
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Skydiver who wanted to jump 25,000 feet without a parachute gets net. All net
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Diligent police follow up on 911 hang-up call. Unfortunately, they were given the wrong address, so they diligently shoot the guy multiple times
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Active shooter downtown Austin. Police telling people to stay out of downtown. Here we go again
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hitler didn't kill Hitler and was not as good a guy as you thought
source: beforeitsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
Netflix goes down for several hours. Somehow, the world survives
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey's President Erdogan has some more brilliant post-coup "reform" ideas, like shutting down all military academies, cutting the size of the police and military forces, and giving him personal control of the military and spy agencies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 30, 2016
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
The drunken car crash was bad enough, but the resulting bee attack made things worse
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Store has to recall its own brand of fruit and peanut yogurt because it has no warning label stating that it contains peanuts
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NESN Fuel)
 
 
 
Mercedes is arguing that you can say anything you want about a car in a commercial as long as the fine print says the truth. Expect the 2018 E-Class to be able to fly, go underwater, and shoot missiles
source: nesnfuel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Corrections officials in Louisville, KY arrest a woman. Woman has no pants on when arrested. The woman has no pants on when she finally appears in court 3 days later. The female judge is not amused, apologizes to the woman, and then goes headhunting
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The newest culinary fad: Oozing dim sum buns
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Bear caught surfing a garbage truck
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this childish reflection
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Cops should give some thought to their "how you doin'" gestures in the current climate, it would seem
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveStrong)
 
 
 
Nothing is sacred at Google, who now wants to store sensors all over our bathrooms to help optimize our lives. Maybe next will the sensors will be in the bedroom, so we can know just how badly we're disappointing our significant others
source: livestrong.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Boob sweat, and how to deal with it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Come one, come all to Montana's annual bare-all Testicle Festival. If you miss this event, you're nuts
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Play Pokemon Go for college p.e. credit. Because the world's going to hell anyway, so why not?
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Drew Peterson will spend an extra forty years in prison for his plot to try and assassinate a prosecutor
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Snooty, world's oldest manatee in captivity, celebrates 68th birthday with party attended by 100s of kids, plans to wait to 70 to start Social Security
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddee)
 
Weeners
 
And now, for a little light humor, seven amazing facts about the penis
source: oddee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
This was probably not on his bucket list
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Employees stop a thief at Walmart. Are they a) immediately fired B) praised and rewarded C) charged with manslaughter
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
All the Royal Navy's 45 destroyers are in port so the crews can enjoy the summer with their families. The same thing happens every Christmas: "They spend so much time away and this is about harmony time - getting the work-life balance right"
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this action scene
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
How do you do, fellow kids?
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When the confetti stopped fluttering, and the lights had turned on, and the crowd had left, and the hall fell quiet, one man at the Democratic National Convention was responsible for popping all the balloons
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
I had to think twice about submitting this, wondering if we've reached the point where "Anti-gay, family values Republican found to have video of himself in a sex act on his official computer" is not even Fark-worthy any more
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straight)
 
 
 
Note to undercover cops: If you tell someone you represent a terrorist group that will kill them if they bail on their plan to stage an attack you planned for them, it just might be entrapment
source: straight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
THC possession in Illinois now akin to a traffic offense
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeMilked)
 
 
 
Where's Waldo?
source: demilked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
You're a rescuer who boards a disabled yacht off the Irish coast, with three Norwegian girls bound for the Caribbean aboard. Difficulty: not a Penthouse letter
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Hot air balloon crashes and catches fire in Texas, killing at least 16
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(seventeen.com)
 
 
 
Apparently T-Shirts are no longer considered proper attire at a theme park
source: seventeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is: Just because your neighbor is dead doesn't mean you can take his stuff
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Burping in school? Of course that requires police intervention. And of course the Court agrees with the school
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Boiled baby bottles bother breathers
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Tired of all the news coverage the Zika virus has been getting, West Nile decides to reemerge and make a new claim for the "EVERYBODY PANIC" crown. Difficulty: Doing it in South Dakota
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
National Geographic filmmaker has chosen this photo as the most touching to him. So what's so special about this herd of elephants? It's all in the details
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zimbio)
 
 
 
Photoshop this door stopper
source: www2.pictures.zimbio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Book Guy)
 
 
 
The Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for some helpful advice. Specifically, what are the best self-help books one should read?
source: bestcounselingschools.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Not to freak you out the next time you go for a walk alone in the forest, but trees do talk to each other and recognize their offspring
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
The second annual Clear the Shelters campaign, with over 40 local NBC and Telemundo TV stations teamed up with more than 680 animal shelters has been a rousing success. So far 47,127 animals now have a new home in which to celebrate Caturday
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
What's a true craft brewer to do now that craft breweries are doing so well? CRY MOAR
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Hey, remember when the NRA supported gun control?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Non-Spanish speaker sues school after not getting Spanish teaching position
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A tip from the Travelocity Gnome: When visiting India, ALWAYS make sure you have exact change
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Come to Cheesecake Factory and we'll put a spring in your step - also your salad
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Many have speculated on how global warming will kill us all. I don't recall any of them mentioning Siberian reindeer anthrax, though
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 29, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome back, everybody. It's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Yes, yes AGAIN
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You're probably holding your glass of wine all wrong. Wait ... "glass?"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How Jackie the cow got pregnant no one knows because the nearest bull lives two-and-half miles away which seems like a long way to traipse for a quickie
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
The average full-time college student spends 2.76 hours per day on education-related activity (leaving only 21.24 hours for Pokémon Go)
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Scared about the Zika virus, or Ebola? Relax, THIS is the deadliest disease in human history
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Combination of too many Nickelback songs and middle-aged disc jockey hemorrhoid crumbs causes radio station van to spontaneously combust
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cleansing Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bottles of juice
source: addiva.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Divers find 17th-century cheese in Baltic shipwreck, hope to locate fine wine in Mediterranean Sea next
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Well, for $500,000 you could have sent your three kids to REALLY *nice* schools instead of trying to defraud the District of Columbia by lying about being a resident to send your kids to some of the top schools there. Let this be a lesson. A math lesson
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If you're planning to go to a party this weekend and you want to "WOW" your friends then I bet you would be interested in making an impression on them with your extensive knowledge of the exciting history of drywall
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia to update local coordinates over tectonic shift, as it moves seven cm northwards each year. It's true, not only is everything down under out to kill you, even the continent itself is stalking Indonesia
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Danish Pokemon corpse named as violent killer. Man, someome must have leveled him up
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Damn, that is a HARD 33
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Russian gas station offers free tank of gas to women (or men) wearing a swimsuit and high heels
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You are NOT the father... however, you still have to pay $730 a month child support
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Ohio Supreme Court tosses law that bars police officers from sexual relations with minors. So sex it up with the kiddies, cops. You've earned it
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Ways to improve camping
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Question on The Australian Sex Survey seems super simple, but there are 33 possible answers. Here are the 33 explanations
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
'France has problems, but it's not on the brink of civil war. And get away from the Bastille, you guys'
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Man collides with UFO, runs away
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Remember that puppy that followed you home, and you decided to keep it until the owners showed up and then you decided you really owned it? Putin just did that with Crimea
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Old man faints while mowing his lawn, is taken to hospital. Responding police officer finishes mowing the man's lawn
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
now has mosquitoes transmitting Zika, too
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
"He said the car has been taken from his house twice before, but then returned"
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Dead shark found stabbed on the beach. Sea turtles refuse to talk to police
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Man says God told him to heave a little boy into a filthy, scum-filled pool. Come on, it's not the worst thing God's ever told someone to do to a kid
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
You wouldn't listen to a back seat driver you were related to, but if that GPS tells you to do a U-Turn, you'll pirouette and end up on a tight wire like Leon Russell
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Six Michigan state employees criminally charged in Flint water crisis. Potential penalties range from fines, to imprisonment, to being sent to Detroit
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Oregon state fair to judge best baked goods
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Byron Hamburgers in Britain held a mandatory staff meeting for all its cooks to show them the proper way to cook burgers. When everyone was present, management revealed it was an immigration raid they'd willingly taken part in
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Let's see...kidnap child, enter a stranger's house and steal a cell phone, take off clothes, steal a blanket, crash car while naked, flee scene, get captured by police. Check, check, check, check, check, check, aaaand check
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Skydiver from Darwin Parachuting Club to attempt parachute-less jump
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ready to ride the world's tallest water slide? It'll take some Massiv cojones
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dress, dress, dress, dress, penis, dress, dress
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
ISIS has an end game, and it's global civil war
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman taking court-ordered class on decision-making is arrested after trying to escape through the ceiling tiles. What have we learned?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
Video
 
Aggressive beaver terrorizing people. Madonna jokes to the right, please
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Guy hears suspicious noises from his door, calls cops. Pair of hedgehogs seized for lewd conduct
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Pilot dies in tragic crop duster accident. Police searching for a tall man in a grey suit who was seen loitering in the area just prior to the crash
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Apparently Yoga Rage is now a thing
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Ooooklahoma, where-cough cough cough hack cough cough garble
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Make America incarcerated again?
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Meh ... another Chinese rocket falling out of the sky and burning over the U.S.
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Blue Apron 3 meals for 2 people. Recipes and pre-measured ingredients to prepare high-quality meals, delivered right to your door. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this great wall
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
These days you can't even take a nice warm shower without being told you're doing it all wrong
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Dildonian Ryan Bundy's latest ultimatum: Either pay him $1,000,000 to act as his own judge in his upcoming trial, or compensate him $100,000,000 for being a defendant. And, oh yeah -- he's created in God's image, too
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good news, OCD Farkers: Here's a complete list of every item in your house that needs cleaned and how often you should wash stuff, down to the air vents. You're welcome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Add the widow of Pavarotti to the growing list of artists who don't want Donald Trump playing their songs at his rallies
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Man tells police he didn't intend to film a woman using his shower. He was actually filming himself urinating beforehand and forgot to turn his device off (Bonus: Mugshot)
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
OC-135B is the name of my U2 cover band
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Looks like Yale, Alabama A&M, and others might want to think of a new mascot
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXII Texoma)
 
 
 
Two men get in a fist-fight over their respective Pokemon Go teams, in front of a Texas courthouse
source: kxii.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand's nightly cat curfew worked about as well as you'd expect
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists aboard the research vessel Nautilus, who are probably all dead already, discover a mysterious living purple orb floating off the Channel Islands near the coast of California
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 28, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
This time for real-- Final DNC discussion thread and libby afterglow lounge
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Have we really reached the point where car seats need to beep to remind us not to leave the baby in the car?
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Swimming in the Los Angeles River won't cost you an arm and a leg, but it may add a 3rd or 4th nipple to your collection
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man tries to hide 7 grams of cocaine under his foreskin, but it slowly "emerged." Dick move
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
There are drug problems, and then there are "taking elephant sedatives" problems
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo facing investigation for repossessing cars belonging to active duty servicemembers since, ya know, that's illegal under The Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act. But in Wells Fargo's defense the law was only passed in, uh, oh... 1950
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
The parties' parties are coming to an end. Katy Perry leads into a couple Clinton ladies - This is your (probably) final DNC discussion thread
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Syrian Nusra Front "rebrands" and announces alleged split from al-Qaeda after it found out Russia and the US were gunning for it. Suggested name: al-Julani and the Destroyers. Also, and no one is using Blackwater anymore
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Mass murderer pledged allegiance to Hitler weeks before carrying out bloody attack on care home. Well, that's a switch
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soaked musician
source: img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bearing Arms)
 
 
 
Oops, I crapped my pants Just kidding, it's a gun
source: bearingarms.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bikini clad Swedish police officer arrests... and you have already clicked
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Baguette vending machine is the greatest invention since ... aw, that's too easy
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
How to win Mother of the Year: step 1 - take your 2 year-old to a bar, step 2 - punch a cop, step 3 - punch your 2-year-old
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The FCC is really sick of Jenny from Card Services
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Four cow protection vigilantes arrested for beating up two buffalo-meat-hauling Muslim women, who themselves were arrested on suspicion of selling cow meat
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Drug addicted paranoid lunatic has over a dozen homes burned down because he thought the owners were police narcs. Also, police satellites were "zapping his brain"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
Foreign exchange students were supposed to spend a summer learning about American culture, and instead learned about how U.S. businesses like to exploit the poor for cheap labor and skate on paying taxes
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Scientists find cancer in million-year-old fossil. Larry King to seek second opinion
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Zoo elephants are apparently getting sick of our shiat
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After 9/11, Col Rob Maness always wondered what happened to the man burned beyond recognition who needed him to hold his leaky IV line and pray for his survival. A chance encounter at the RNC in a dusty room confirmed LTC Brian Bidwell survived
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The Delta Aquarid meteor shower is tonight. Here's how to watch
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Dead whale carcass found In Hudson River near Jersey City. Gun left behind. Box of canoli missing
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
One more delegate for Darwin: Dumbass sets herself on fire trying to light a U.S. flag on fire outside the DNC convention
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one: A Shetland pony broke into pub, got drunk and had to be coaxed out with bar snacks
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Man headed to prison for Venus Flytrap theft, Johnny Fever unavailable for comment
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"A new study from researchers at Western University in London, Ont. suggests there is nothing that terrifies British badgers more than the sounds of CBC News programming"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Cat wanders away for nine months, owner blames extra testicle
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The man convicted of Chandra Levy's murder has been exonerated. Gary Condit seen throwing away his BDSM goodies
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Tasty as they are, Middle Eastern cuisine offers up fantastic options that go well beyond hummus and kebab. What are some of your favorites?
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Just a friendly reminder: The world ends tomorrow after the earth's magnetic poles flip and massive earthquakes are triggered. Subby is getting two hookers at the same time, just in case
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Finally you can get something to eat at a funeral in New York State
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
The Lingerie Fighting Championships is making a serious push to sign Ronda Rousey. She would likely become their biggest star, eclipsing "Vicki the Part Time Stripper." (possibly Not safe for work)
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Alberta man have pile of potato. How much to give to Latvian? None of it
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
House for sale, goes from a two-room flat to a 15-room mansion depending on how vigorously you rub it
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Osoyoos Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lake
source: osoyoostimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
I've had it with these microhole-fighting spiders on this Monday to Friday blimp
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Looks like lobster's back on the menu
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 6 Albany)
 
 
 
In upstate New York, it's so hot that manure is starting to catch on fire
source: cbs6albany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
D.B. Cooper was a newspaper reporter's typo
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Muslims outraged over apparent insult on kids tv show. Yes, again. No, not that one
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
One would think cops would know doughnut glaze when they see it
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Will there be peace and love in the convention hall tonight? Will Hillary come out swinging? Will Trump live tweet the burns? Does someone hear glass shattering? THIS is your DNC Day 4 thread. "She's got this" edition. (Coverage starts at 4:30pm)
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Best Korea warns the U.S. to back off or the Sea of Japan beatings will continue
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
My pool is ruining my social life. Thanks, Obama
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
GOP tweets popular "This is fine" meme. Artist who made meme reveals he made alternate version of meme with elephant for DNC, tells person running account "You can eat me"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Couple buys a lot near SeaTac airport, files to build a parking garage. SeaTac city council puts a moratorium on parking garages. Couple forced to sell at a loss to "phantom buyer" that is really the city. PO'ed judge gives couple $18 mil
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that these 2,000-year-old elongated Paracas skulls found in Peru are aliens ....but they're probably aliens
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Most peaceful state in the US: Maine. Most violent? We'd say it here, but they'd probably stab us and leave our corpse in the trunk of our own car. Then burn it
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Naval Institute)
 
 
 
This probably won't bother anyone, Nope, not at all. Navy to name ship after gay activist Harvey Milk
source: news.usni.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Do you own a solitary goldfish? You MONSTER
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kremlin to U.S.: Tell the oompa loopa we don't work for him and he can go find the missing emails himself
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Snooker player holds on to win, despite suffering injuries after savage attack by a worm
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's okay to start having crazy sex with South Americans again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Clinton allies put a million dollar bounty on Trump's tax return
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Cloaked in secrecy, spy satellite launches into space." So secret, in fact, the media knows it was a secret spy satellite. And it's been secretly launched. Into secret space
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mandatory)
 
 
 
Church musician busted after putting his penis through a glory hole in a public bathroom. But in fairness, he IS an organist
source: mandatory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Sure, you've been drunk, but have you ever been, "left all your clothes and underpants at the bar as collateral" drunk?
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Eating too much cheese left me in a wheelchair." Here come the unvaccinated foreign goats
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It really is a fine line between "adorable duck" and "filthy sex toy" (Not safe for work images in article)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is not infallible
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Police confirmed in a tweet that the suspect was not Batman
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
The aptly named town of Erie, Illinois is on the lookout for a missing pet wallaby
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old-timey armored car
source: fakeoff.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Proving nobody knows how to say goodbye quite like the Danish, Copenhagen artists install a giant kaleidoscope inside an abandoned lighthouse that's about to be swallowed up by the sea
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Freddie Gray case prosecutor sued after failing to convict a single officer- by officers she failed to convict
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Most people laugh after they get squirted with water by a toy at a hibachi restaurant. Not this couple. "It was a sexual-style assault on my wife"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Venezuela: "Eh. Zoo animals don't really need food, right?"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Police investigating after 11 female mannequins stolen from boutiques in small Ontario town: "It's creepy"
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Farker works for a food bank, gets interviewed on the Tee-Vee after Target employees scramble to save perishable food items after power outage
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Does farting burn calories? And how many?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 586: "By the Numbers 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 27, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
DNC thread 3: Time to let the big dog hunt
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
You know the thing about a human Lego minifigure, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNC Live Stream)
 
 
 
Eight years ago, Hillary Clinton spoke on behalf of Barack Obama to unify the Party. Tonight he returns the favor. This is YOUR DNC Night 3 Part 2
source: demconvention.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Thanks to its profusion of single-location coffee shops and microbreweries, Seattle has defeated Portland to become America's most hipster city in 2016
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
I for one welcome our new super-amoeba overlords
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Three whiskeys, one hour and a violent end to a Kentucky-to-Charlotte flight. In related news has anyone heard from Drew lately? No reason
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and her umbrella
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJCL Savannah)
 
 
 
Police officer fired for flying the Confederate battle flag at her home says she had no idea the emblem was controversial
source: wjcl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lifestyles of the rich and... what? $49 for the entire island resort? Does it have Pokémon? Never mind, you can keep it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
The Hot Dog Princess is having a busy summer, steaming buns from coast to coast
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Kardashian vagina maintenance tips? There's an App for that
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
If you were afraid there was something bad in the water making Floridians act strange, now you don't need to worry: State environmental regulators vote 3-2 in favor of new rules to allow more toxic chemicals allowed in Florida waterways
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSLA Shreveport)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to carjack someone at the car wash, make sure the guy isn't holding a power washer (video)
source: ksla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
If you are going to illegally charge money and sue folk for copyright infringement for images for which you don't own the copyright, do try not to sue the actual copyright holder
source: pdnpulse.pdnonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(High Times)
 
 
 
Richard Branson wants you to smoke marijuana with your kids
source: hightimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
24 U.S. customs that are offensive in other countries. Only 24?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Benzinga)
 
 
 
Twitter might be circling the drain. No way, I'm on Twitter all the time. I love it. Who cares if I can't edit a tweet, it's filled with spammy ads, and all my DM's are from Eastern European sex bots. On second thought, it's probably done for
source: benzinga.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Rejected Pokemons
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Will Obama bring in the noise, bring in the funk? Will Tim Kaine put us all to sleep....but in Spanish? Who the hell wants to listen to Michael Bloomberg? THIS is your DNC Day 3 thread. (Coverage starts at 4:30PM ET)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Latest from The Pope: The world's at war, but not a war of religions. ISIS reply: We beg to differ
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Porn viewers have already voted and they have elected a Hillary Clinton-Michelle Obama ticket
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit wants its glowing red ball back
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
How hot is it in Minnesota? The bears are coming out of the woods to cool off in kiddie pools
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NESN Fuel)
 
 
 
The Tesla driver killed in that crash was speeding and watching Harry Potter. At least he had his pants on
source: nesnfuel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Let's review: the First Amendment does not give you the right to threaten people with death without consequence
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
After 35 years, John Hinckley, Jr released from St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Washington, D.C., most likely to free up space for other criminally insane like Hillary Clinton
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Georgia entrepreneur wins $3 million in the lottery, winds up building a meth empire
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Conservative reactions of giving victims of the Pulse massacre "thoughts and prayers" has resulted in a satirical video game in which players attack thoughts and prayers
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Brewery's new 'Naked Man Posing in the Lobby' brew not a hit with police
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Mobicip Family Premium: Lifetime License. 5 device Parental control for iPhone, iPad, Mac, Android, Kindle Fire, Windows, Galaxy Nook. Finally stop what your kids are doing. Who is this Jack Septiceye anyway? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Teen boy forced to sleep overnight on airport floor when he discovers he's at that awkward age where he's old enough to be bumped from a connecting flight but too young to be trusted to sleep alone in a hotel room
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"T'was a dark and dreary night, full of angst and unrequited hatred at the man. Bodies trembling, lips quivering, ducks quacking. My hot pockets thawed." No, it's not another thread about Donald Trump and the RNC. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Assange: "Russians didn't hack the DNC" Everyone else: "Who did?" Assange: "I dunno. It could've been anyone"
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Great news everyone: it appears that NO ONE was responsible for killing Freddie Gray. He apparently just ended up dead in the back of a police van with a broken neck completely by magic
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Employee of British charity accuses 3-year-old Prince George of "white privilege". How do you say "Well, DUH" in British?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
A third of all Danes believe that they are at war with Islam. The other two-thirds believe that they are at war with Capitalism
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Company invents new written art form where short segments of a story are released every 4-6 weeks
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this framed pier
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Wisconsin cop resigns after having sex 'round the clock ... while on the clock
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Poll: Americans think more than half of vets have mental problems. Vets scan Fark headlines, are pretty sure more than half of Americans are fat vapid farksticks who couldn't last 20 minutes in basic training
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio has paid nearly $10.4 million on attorney fees in Arpaio's contempt of court case. Wait, I misread that. Arizona taxpayers have paid nearly $10.4 million on attorney fees in Arpaio's contempt of court case
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
Some of the worst drinks ever invented include a whiskey and sarsaparilla cocktail, pancetta-fat-washed bourbon, and a beverage made with the ingredients of a Waldorf salad
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
You should never go drunk driving while barefoot in Arizona in the summer because the cops might pull you out of your car and make you stand on the scalding asphalt
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Did you dump water on your head in 2014? Congratulations, you helped find the gene that causes ALS
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Woman sues because her neighbor likes spicy food
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Having exhausted every other modern method of communication, Best Korea threatens the South with leaflets floated down Han River
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Indiana 'rapper' shoots himself in the face for music video
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Six-year-old with cystic fibrosis granted wish to: A) visit Disneyland; B) meet famous athlete; or C) be a garbage man for a day
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 26, 2016
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Pizza, the world's saddest polar bear, exhibited in Chinese shopping mall showroom at height of summer for some inexplicable reason
source: usa.chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Insider (IO))
 
 
 
If you've got cash, you can take forever alone to an entirely new level
source: techinsider.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Pokémon Go will remove Pokéstops from the Fukushima nuclear disaster zone. Damn
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Man visiting Daytona Beach gets stabbed by violent rando, immediately proposes to his girlfriend because the Florida tag wants what the Florida tag wants
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
If you're in Nova Scotia, take a load off at the Outhouse museum - or `Oothoose' as the locals call it
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
The history of the traffic stop shows the way the automobile fundamentally changed the relationship between the police and the citizenry
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Apparently there's at least one barricaded gunman who hasn't gotten the "bomb squad robots can't be trusted" memo
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Today's WTF headline: British police seize moped from man driving with potato sack
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Two things we learned tonight - Hillary is the nominee, and do NOT fark with Moms. This is YOUR DNC Thread, Part 2
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shooting you" like free ice cream
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Thorbjörn Fälldin, former Prime Minister of Sweden, dies at the age of 90. He'll be remembered fondly as a formidable leader in the post-war era, and as the namesake for a tasteful birch-wood dining room ensemble
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Man learns hard way that while open carry is legal, even on a bicycle, even if you are homeless, that one's history of felony convictions can quickly negate one's "rights" to do so
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rocketing up the Slimeball Charts is Texas AG Ken Paxton, who takes $$ from company he's investigating to pay his legal defense for duping investors of another company
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Judge tells Kinder bum smuggler: "You really are an idiot"
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Drunk Canadian pilots granted bail, deemed not to be flight risk
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Why, yes, Dr. Seuss did paint a bird in a see-through negligee holding a martini while decapitating a small bear
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Pokemon Go player almost hit by driver also playing Pokemon Go
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this coffee and spoon service
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A black bear covers The Proclaimers song with a slight change: "I'm Gonna Be"(400 miles)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Soylent is proudly made with GMOs, not people as previous assumed
source: blog.soylent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
"A team of international researchers has created a material that self-assembles on command into swarms, chains, or clusters." Why can't anything self assemble into butterflies or cupcakes?
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Awful Announcing)
 
 
 
People are upset with Michael Jordan's anti-violence statement and two $1 million dollar donations because of course they are
source: awfulannouncing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Responsible gun owner shoots teen dead while responsibly cleaning his gun. Here's the thing, no one has ever died while cleaning their knife. Not the cleaner, not some poor unfortunate nearby
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Better parenting through tasers
source: radio1023.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
"Police have confirmed they are investigating after the pair were reported outraging public decency." WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Etsy)
 
 
 
Pokémoan sex toys--collect them all. But for God's sake, take them out of the box once in a while (Not safe for work)
source: etsy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Now Starbucks baristas can wear colored clothing under their aprons. But they still don't have to learn how to spell your name
source: cities97.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
As the Royal Navy prohibits Facebook on subs and loses recruits, the U.S. Navy uses Pokémon Go to lure new recruits to become Pokémon masters. "This is somewhat different from the official mission of the Navy"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
No Pokemon at the Olympic village? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Racist waitress Snapchats about having to serve "N*****s." Customer responds with full-on grace and beauty. Manager responds with pink slip
source: 1075theriver.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwalk Reflector)
 
 
 
"Leave my (expletive) pizza rolls alone,' he said, drawing his sword
source: norwalkreflector.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A woman is told that her mother is too fat to be cremated because of the danger of a grease fire or something like that
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Humans have always hated change, including the introduction of coffee, refrigeration, and alterations to the Fark layout
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
You want a realistic free-fall? You got it (w/ video)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Will the Sanders holdouts disrupt the roll call? Will Bill woo the crowd as only he can? Can the Democrats stand united? THIS is the DNC Day 2 thread. (Coverage officially kicks off at 4:30pm)
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
So Germany is finding out that not everyone goes for their clothing-optional swimming habit
source: translate.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
TV psychic Miss Cleo dead at 53 from a battle with cancer. Funny, I didn't think astrology was her thing
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Apparently, "Bork bork bork" translates to "Swedish children's condom haggis"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
#Neverforget
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these BFFs
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
What did the boner say to the sciatica? "I've got your back"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New Yorkers really REALLY love their Cronuts. "One customer did duck out of the line - briefly - to inform the bakery of "the dead guy" spotted on a wooden sidewalk bench some 40 feet from the store"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Since you probably missed it but are dying to know how it went, here is a wrap up of The 2016 Gathering of the Juggalos
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Tribune)
 
 
 
Woman stabs husband because he A: Hit her? B: Had an affair? or C: Brought home the wrong doughnuts?
source: newsandtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
68-year-old man arrested for having sex with a cow. Really? 68-year-olds still have sex?
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is going to need to pack his ass-kicking boots for his visit to Poland, where the Clerical hierarchy is none too pleased with his reforms and deeply entwined with anti-immigrant right-wing nationalists currently running the country
source: sg.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
If you're going to crash a regatta - you might as well be drunk, sloppy, and bare chested while doing it (w/ video)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Mr. Draper, should we run with the "In Canada lesbians are considered hot" campaign? Great, no problem then
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Bad Lip Reading covers Ted Cruz's RNC speech, making it the most comprehensible part of last week's convention
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rich kid's parents let him play with their money. Kid buys popular stocks, gets lucky, and still does a worse than a total market index fund. Of course CNN is amazed
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Marriage didn't work out? No problem, this house was designed to be split in half
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Stroh's beer returning to Detroit. If you've been holding out for the taste of sadness in a can, you're in luck
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newark Advocate)
 
 
 
Small business dos and don'ts: DO announce your wares to increase revenue. DON'T use a loudspeaker to broadcast you have illegal drugs for sale. BONUS: At the gathering of the Juggalos
source: newarkadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Like getting kicked out of an all you can eat buffet, Verizon to cut off unlimited data users who use too much unlimited data
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Today's major issue at the DNC that threatens to implode the party: bacon shortage
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Not news: If Walmart mails you a $1900 check, it's actually a scam. Fark: People are actually cashing the checks
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Lawyer is given five days in jail for: A) farting; B) interrupting court to capture a pikkachu; or C) wearing a small Black Lives Matters pin under her jacket
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
App helps you determine if a bar is a sausage fest or a... um, what is the female version of that?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
You know who else killed himself in Berlin after getting bad news?
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
Police getting a call about a naked guy wandering around find a second body at the scene
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Longdong discovered in South China Sea; USS Your Mom said to be en route, may return with your new stepdad
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Does your dog bite? No. "RAAWRR" *chomp* I thought you said your dog did not bite! That is not my dog...ha ha, I lied, that's totally my dog
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man who knifed 19 people to death kept pausing to tweet about world peace and Japan's beauty
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington City Paper)
 
 
 
This is the link with the egress / Yes, it my friend goes out and deserts / Some people started linking it not knowing what it was / And they'll continue vanishing forever just because
source: washingtoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop only one of the states
source: yourchildlearns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Islamic leader accused of raping a US airman released on his own recognizance, outraging the local community. What's that? It's actually a priest? Nevermind, community totally cool with it
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
A suggestion for you disgruntled cleaning contractors inclined to express your grievances by hiding fecal matter in the ceiling of the office you're cleaning: when doing so, including your utility bill in the mix is a bit of a giveaway
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hostage situation in French church. Jesus Christ
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
If you need money, you could just ask Mom...or stage this phony kidnapping which ends with you falling out of a moving vehicle on the interstate. With "about what you'd expect" picture
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Watch a Walmart shoplifter make a low-speed getaway in a motorized scooter
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Portland, people are outraged that a restaurant owner doesn't want to hire vegans
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
You can stay in bed, Oregon. There will be no Wake Up sale today. RIP Tom Peterson 1930-2016
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 25, 2016
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
"Is that red fire retardant dropped from planes during wildfires safe for humans and the environment?" hmm...question mark in the title
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Article on what to look for to tell if a medical GoFundMe is a scam. In related news please help Subby to collect funds for his service unicorn "Diggeroy" to treat his chronic diarrhea before it's too late
source: vitals.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Syrian refugees now living in Scotland discover what the locals have known for years
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Now with extra special bridge building, part 3 of tonight's DNC Day 1 thread. Part 1,2, just too darned long
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Five myths about leaving kids in cars. #6: I'm not dumb enough to ignore this list
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Algorithm accident" caused Facebook to block links to Wikipedia/DNC email dump. According to Facebook, .... may have incorrectly determined the links to be malicious or spam. Which raises the question, what on FB isn't spammy or malicious?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kansas woman's body found very near landing spot after skydiving in Oklahoma
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: I submitted to your mom
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frigid florist
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Australia hit by 6.1 earthquake, which would be what, 1.9 in the northern hemisphere?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Call girl songs, Congressional sisters, and getting hot for teacher... the Democratic Convention is turning out to be MUCH more interesting than last week's. This is your DNC Day One Part 2 thread: come for the chill, stay for the Bern
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Trump supporters raid polling place, tear up polls. Not sure why they were in Thailand however
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
"The software knows where the wearable is, and it knows where all of the smartphones are." I can't wait until I start getting targeted toilet paper ads the second I feel a rumble and head to the bathroom
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oakland Press)
 
 
 
It took half a year, but the police have solved the Case of the Nail Polish Bandit, which would make a fabulous Hardy Boys mystery title
source: theoaklandpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
"My Thailand lads .... I'm like so sorry for my drunken outdoor sex act. No Really"
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Gay republican couple thought their 3rd adoption of a surrogate child would be easy, until they ran into a Scott Walker-appointed judge, that is. $400,000+ later, they finally have their child and a Kafkaesque story to go with him
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
NewsFlash
 
Today's mass murder brought to you by: Tokyo, Japan
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Visit this picturesque Austrian town complete with bone house which contains the bones of thousands which they put there when the cemetery ran out of room. But, don't worry, the names of most of the skulls' former owners were written on each skull
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's not that stock investors are a bunch of clueless, reactionary idiots, but everyone who jumped into Nintendo off the back of Pokemon Go is now jumping out again after learning Nintendo didn't actually make it
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Trump will be doing a Reddit Ask Me Anything thread this Wednesday. Nothing can possibly go wrong
source: