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Sun June 05, 2016
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Warm weather brings us another "too many people on a deck" story
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
News that will make your head hurt - 1 In 4 Americans report having had a concussion
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Ivy League schools are turning kids into zombies. Duke sucks
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
After 47-mile foot chase, police arrest 5 teens for stealing $4,700 in Red Bull
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
If you threaten to run over a couple with your ATV for a busted cooler at the Redneck Mud Park, "I didn't know you were in there" is not a valid defense when you actually run over them in their tent
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear Work Advice Columnist: I'm a man who's surrounded by female co-workers flaunting their cleavage at me, but everybody freaks out if I unbutton more than the top button of my shirt. Am I being oppressed?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Buggy Ride
source: twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Bert Fire grows to nearly 1,800 acres. Ernie inconsolable
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reports: "Those who earn more, often spend more"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Astronomer wraps his whole body in tinfoil to shield himself from the "second" sun, then rises with the first sun and goes full KOOK by exposing NASA's coverup... or something
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cue the dueling banjos
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Philippine president-elect urges citizens to kill drug dealers, promises a medal to anyone who does
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman waiting for the UK's first double hand transplant says she's okay with man hands
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Austria
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Roy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slight of hand
source: knm.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
ISIS is so paranoid about spies that it's killing more and more of its own members
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Malaysia New Straits Times)
 
 
 
"Berserk" cow attacks firefighters after they pulled it from well. Baffled emergency crews say the cow had no violent history and rescue workers had never seen herbivore
source: nst.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Pub manager wins $5.8 million in the lottery. What does he do afterwards? He goes back to work
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Examiner)
 
 
 
After waking up from their unicorn induced dream, the Swiss all of sudden don't think it's a good idea to give every citizen €27,000 a year for sh*ts and giggles
source: irishexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Man who stole giant tire from fitness club filmed by surveillance camera, described as between 25-30, about 5' 11'' at 180 pounds, wearing red T-shirt, black shorts, prosthetic left leg
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
People in the Sunshine State are upset none of their cities were on the list of America's angriest cities
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Police searching for thief who stole approximately 2,500 dollars worth of steak, hamburger, and bacon. Your dog is looking for a black market fence
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Burger King now has a Whopperrito because it's always innovation time at the BK Lounge
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop Cousin Itt's other cousin
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Things got a bit out of hand
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
An elephant never forgets... where to get the best medical help
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Have you ever walked into a sliding glass door that you thought was open? Well this is exactly like that EXACTLY
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Today's Mother of the year candidate is brought to you by West Virginia where a woman tried to sell her neglected 3-month-old baby to a neighbor for $500-$1000
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Are you chronically late? Then there's a good chance you're insane... INSANE. MU-HA-HA-HA ... Oh, wait, this is the Daily Mail. Never mind
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
He had just finished watching 'Field of Dreams' and thought, 'Maybe if I make a Craigslist ad about a sex party at Tina's.' Nothing bad could possibly happen ... Oops, guess those New Orleans cops are serious
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Do you use a wire brush to clean your grill? You're gonna die. In fact, YOU COULD BE DEAD ALREADY
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from Alaska's capital city, it's another round of Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Muhammad Ali's best quotes will live on forever. Thank god Nike/Adidas/Coke/Papa John's could never put a muzzle on this legend
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Turns out, there is a scientific reason we never forget high school
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
"Honey, I need to sleep with other people to save our marriage. A sex therapist on the internet said so"
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 04, 2016
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Lowering the flag at your workplace on Memorial Day? That's a firing
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trying to take an egg out of a bird's nest? Mother pigeon shows a man why it's a birdbrained idea
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Drive-ins. In Maine they're considered "fine dining establishments," so stop smoking in your car. People are trying to eat here
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his umbrella
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Man holds up bank to get three hots and a cot. Police do not oblige. Bonus: He did the same thing last year with the same result
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
No shirt, no shoes, no marriage license
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
University of Alberta belatedly cancels spoon-bending workshop after ridicule online, says they only listed it to be polite to Edmonton energy healer who assured them bending spoons with your mind was medically proven
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Everything you wanted to know about sunscreen but were afraid to ask
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here is how to make pizza on a stick over a campfire. What are some of your favorite campfire recipes?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Little girl turns up to dance class's Princess Day dressed as a hotdog, immediately crowned the wiener
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beaver County Times)
 
 
 
Beaver woman finds snake on her SUV. Not a euphemism
source: timesonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Your mother sews socks that smell"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old beach scene
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
'No duh' study of the week finds: Lego toys are getting more weaponized
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Since there are no missing planes to report on, CNN decides to remind everyone that Chicago is a violent cesspool and you'll be killed if you set foot in the city. Also, the Cubs suck
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Woman buys a lobster and then returns it .... 2,000 miles away to set it free
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Student livestreams a movie via Facebook. Hilarity ensues
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Sorry, cemetery is closed. Corpse out front should have told you
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
We've all seen so-called 'amazing' footage of UFOs, but a new video blows them all out the water
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Pancakes should never ever be the main course for breakfast, always just a side dish ...also should never be worn on your head
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: AtmosRX Vaporizer. Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
"I have spoken to one man who wants to be buried in a mushroom suit he found in California"
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Bad guy with gun was stopped by good guy closing a door
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Here are 14 strange facts to consider while celebrating National Cheese Day
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
If you use so much power that you blow out the transformer supplying your house twice, don't be surprised when the police raid your house and take all 1654 marijuana plants, just saying
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
"We have teachers who use their classroom like a single's bar where they can pick up anybody they want to." Can we please get a Texas tag?
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So, I have a blanket on the couch where the dog sleeps. I know, I'm a big softee. But this morning, the dog was laying on the floor and my Roomba was on the couch on the blanket. What exactly is going on here?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
On the 48th anniversary of Andy Warhol's attempted assassination, visitor to San Fran's MOMA Museum trips and damages $82,000,000 "Triple Elvis"
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
On its way out: El Niño. On its way in: La Niña
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Louisiana's long statewide nightmare is over as Yuengling beer will finally be available later this year
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Going on a vodak drinking binge & assaulting a police officer is no way to go through life.....vicar
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Weimaraner and its Dachshund pals become hits on Instagram because DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Dozens injured from lightning strikes at German rock festival. This is not a repeat from last year when the same thing happened at the same event
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Woman goes to great lengths to save her son's "sick" teddy bear by swapping it out for a new one. Too bad the kid will figure it out if he has internet access
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Americans love their National Parks. Except when it comes to proposing the creation of a new one. Then they hate the idea
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slider
source: nycgovparks.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Economic Forum)
 
 
 
What's the one book that has most influenced your life? The Saturday Morning Book Club is getting all inspirational this week
source: weforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Army, fearing its soldiers rely too much on contractors, puts soldiering back into its training program. "It was a lot harder than I thought to dig your own foxhole"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Because Penn Live is running out of stories to report on, they are now looking for the owner of a car that's stranded on the roof of a Harrisburg tire shop since May 5th
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(one green planet.org)
 
 
 
A cat in Brooklyn was unceremoniously left alone on a busy street, with his litter box, pillow and other cat supplies. He was crying. The entire neighborhood then joined together and took to the streets to rescue him in time for Caturday
source: onegreenplanet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
"I was watching tv and all of a sudden - boom I mean you know and one of my deals came falling down off the wall," said Paulyn West
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Who hasn't thought, "The only way they could improve chocolate would be to add beef to it." Yeah, I thought so
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Rich Manhattanite problems are when you feel the need to buy a second 'staycation' apartment in Manhattan for 'a change of scenery'
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you're going to install a 15' long swing set in your yard, against town ordinance, by submitting for a variance by calling it a wisteria arbor, don't go crying when things don't go the way you planned
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Rest In Power
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's internet excitement is brought to you by a stick that was checked in to the airport and was waiting for pickup (with 'yep, it's a stick' picture)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 03, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
Penis-measuring competition falls under the axe
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Fark Weird News Quiz returns, lumbering its enormous girth across the finish line somehow like Jabba in jogging shoes and a headband
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
As Leon keeps getting larger, his chances for Prostate Cancer increase
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
Dog walks into a tavern and starts telling the bartender bad jokes
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Million-dollar idea here: Uber, but for cops in the middle of a foot chase with a suspect
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Well it's floodin' down in Texas, all the soldiers are being drowned. Well it's floodin' down in Texas and subby is still stuck in Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport like a clown
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
World's loneliest dog to take time off waiting for Fry to star in a Michael Bay movie
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago's cop union call city's release of shooting and excessive force videos "irresponsible." That's the joke
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Unicode 9 will feature 72 new Emoji, with symbols such as bacon, whisky tumbler, shrug, facepalm, and potato. There you have it folks, every Fark thread reduced to emojis
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This Jurassic Park reenactment brought to you by Australia
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Parisians evacuating as flooding is causing the city to go in Seine
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Getting popped for DUI is embarrassing. Getting popped for DUI at 14 years old is newsworthy. Getting popped for DUI at 14 years old with your much drunker dad in the passenger seat is FARK-Worthy
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Married couples are now safe from catching the Zika virus
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey, octopus selfie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Area man writes own obituary, including this advice: "...do your best, follow your heart, and never settle for cheap beer"
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
HA HA Quaker bars may kill you
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
North Korea savagely punishes rebellious launch pad
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop these garden partiers
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWTX Waco)
 
 
 
Texas woman arrested for burning kids' tongues with lighter, making them lick toilet seats, and forcing them to drink fluids to make them vomit. With bunny boiler mugshot
source: kwtx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Wild beavers cause €750,000 in damages in Austrian town. Please, people, keep your beavers under control
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Everybody loves passive-aggressive kitchen notes at the office
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
"A jockey has been jailed for 21 months after he drove a stolen car at 87mph head-on into a vehicle being driven by a woman he was due to meet for a first date"
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cartoon Brew)
 
 
 
75 years ago this week, Disney animators went on strike and the picket signs were amazing
source: cartoonbrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebec man ordered to 'not pick up any more bison.' Try on-line dating sites instead
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
What the hell kind of a name is Tronc?
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Hawaii Today)
 
 
 
60's Freedom Riders fought for an end to segregation. A 2016 Freedom Rider is fighting to end drivers licenses, to declare himself a corporation, and to have the judge in his case arrested
source: westhawaiitoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
"Does murder witness want a cracker? Maybe repeat what he heard?"
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
"It's bright and sweet, but difficult to swallow," says owner of Mongolia's only gay bar (Not safe for work images)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Calvin confirms Taylor Swift breakup, Hobbes inconsolable
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
According to the job description, the chosen candidate (AKA: the luckiest person alive) will "spend a three-month appointment researching, writing about, obsessing over and critiquing bacon"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Okay, class, it appears that we have a shooter on campus and we're on lockdown. Since we're gonna be here awhile, why don't you go ahead and take the final. Look at it this way, it may by your FINAL final ever"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Someone can empty your bank account with the information on the front of every check you write. Perhaps the most stunning part of the article: people still use checks?
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
"Sex Party Blasts Nuns" And you thought Fark wasn't your personal erotica site
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
O.J. Simpson will confess once he is freed from prison, claims old friend
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
"The 25-year-old gave Amish teens some beer, showed them his gun, and yelled "Rumspringa" before he hit their horse-drawn buggy with his car"
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Dunkin Donuts rolling out app that will "fix customers' biggest complaints." How the app will make decent donuts remains to be seen
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today is National Donut Day. Or Doughnut, if you're a stickler for spellings. Or Christmas, if you're a cop
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Noseless man sought in scentsless crime
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Brain injury turns an Italian man into a Frenchman. Immediately becomes rude, lazy, smells, hates Americans and surrenders to everyone. So basically the same as an Italian except for the surrender part
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Creative vandalism can turn "Vote Leave" into "Vote Beaver". Warning: Involves puns in Welsh, but who can tell?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
The WHO has figured out the maximum amount of sugar we should be eating daily, and you probably reached your daily allowance with the five cups of coffee you've had already
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Prince Harry to D-Day veterans who were about to go to France for the commemorations: "Don't get into trouble and if you do, don't get caught"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Let me be clear: Nonprofit hospitals should not be in the business of aggressively suing their patients"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mushroom
source: orig05.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Cat alerts family to rabid bat in the house. Well, he jumped on them in the middle of the night, just like every cat every night
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Okay which one of you cop-hating hipster vandals spray-painted "No Cronut" on a NYC cop car in Williamsburg, Brooklyn?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner who added huge "Obama tax" to menu items also vastly understated his income into "welfare fraud" territory. I'll take the Anti-Michelle Obama Don't Tell Me What Income To Declare Burger
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Turkey furious at Germany over genocide statement, claims millions of people die of natural causes all at once all the time
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
34 surprising exceptions to Rule 34 (because believe it or not, there are some things no human will masturbate to)
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♪ ♫ It's like raaa-iii-ain on your wedding day. Hamas founder's grandson turns out to be Christian and gay. ♪ ♫
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arrests are soaring after Britain criminalized Internet trolling: "During 2015, more than two people were arrested in London every day for allegedly posting messages which fell foul of social media posting rules"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Black youth being unjustly shot by police? Meh. But you shoot one gorilla...
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
Active shooter has been barricaded in SF Chinatown building for over an hour, costing landlord over $10,000 in rent so far
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Circular)
 
 
 
Drew Curtis to open 'Fark Encounter: A News Aggregator Boat of Biblical Proportions'
source: newcirclecircular.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Millennials are soooo over Hitler
source: callahan.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Rhode Island firefighters called "terrorists" and compared to ISIS for putting an American flag on their firetruck
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
There's something about Greece and the number 300. This story is less interesting, but has a better outcome
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
New 'shark shield' device allows divers to swim in shark-infested waters without fear of being eaten, instead of perhaps staying in the boat like sane people
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economic Education Foundation)
 
 
 
Uber for airplanes? Imagine if there were some way to get a seat on a small plane going to your destination. Someone figured out a way to match planes and travelers, and the FAA shot it down
source: fee.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Australian nuns accused of vandalizing Sex party posters. Also, Australia has a political party called Sex that somehow didn't win every seat
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cost of the Zika virus coverage by the US media could be staggering, if the ratings hold up
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"A man who goes by the name of Pork Chop was up to his ears in stress Wednesday, so he buried his boss up to the waist with a front-end loader, according to an arrest report"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
As syphilis rates soar in LA County, drugs and phrasing are in short supply
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
A look at Thailand's "luk thep" doll culture
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A few friends decided to wear the same shirt for their high school yearbook photos. Then things got a bit out of hand
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Astronomers just picked up a hydrogen signal from a galaxy 5 billion light-years away. Yes, that's far, far, away
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What does The Most Interesting Man in the World drink when he's no longer a paid shill? Hint: It's not Dos Equis
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Thanks to all the failed economic policies, corruption, social upheaval, crime, visitor restrictions, and prospects of a military coup, Venezuela is now a perfect destination for tourists on a budget
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Here are some of America's best highway rest stops, or as Republicans call them, "toe-tapping love shacks"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"Mounties say the pair drank booze, smoked cigarettes and engaged in physical relations in the tub and also tried to steal items from the patio"
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Dogs roam Denver Airport to calm frayed nerves of frenzied travelers, help them recover from TSA groping
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Motion activated LED toilet light. Because you need your toilet to glow like the pool in Cocoon. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop these ninja welcoming the foreign press at the G7 summit in Japan
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Facepalm: Former probation corrections officer tries to use his old badge to break up a bar fight. Dumbass: He gets knocked out in the process. Amusing: Then gets charged with impersonating a police officer
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Heartbroken after being dumped by your long-term boyfriend? The easy way to relieve the pain is by embarking on an international sex spree like this scorned woman
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Redmond Reporter)
 
 
 
🎼 I make my living off the evening news ♩ Just give me something ♬ Something I can use ♫ People love it when you lose ♩ They love dirty laundry 🎹
source: redmond-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Traffic expert dies in car accident on way to road safety meeting
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Minneapolis voters to consider referendum requiring police officers to carry professional liability insurance so cities don't get stuck with paying the tab for bad apples. Bonus: guess what happens when your insurer has to pay multiple claims?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(myAJC)
 
 
 
Apparently, this needs to be repeated: if you work at a major company, harbor racist views and are dumb enough to feature those views on a Facebook rant, you *will* get fired
source: myajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Caption this courtroom exhibition
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Neither the Florida Safety Council nor local Hazmat crew know what a freon tank is. That's safe, right?
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The latest thing that is killing you? Stale, recycled office air
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Lawyer disbarred for requesting nude photos from his client in lieu of payment. Lawyer: "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
If you're a college student facing college debt, here's a solution: Smoke lots of pot and you won't care anymore
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Lost Ogle)
 
 
 
Asian cowboy breaks up Tulsa mayoral debate until being escorted away by Matt Damon look-alike. Got that?
source: thelostogle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
School lets the service dog of a Type 1 diabetic teenager have his own school picture taken for the yearbook because of all the time he spent there
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The boy left in a bear-riddled Japanese forest by his parents has been found alive
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
40-something woman tells 30-something women to get off her vibrant, free-spirited lawn
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man wanted in theft of jewelry worth $150K. Fark: from J.C. Penney
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Not news: Couple move in to a new place. News: And find the body of the last tenant wrapped in a shower curtain in a cupboard. Fark: With a note from the killer saying "sorry for the smell"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to fifteen years in prison for attempted carjacking and possession of butt crack
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 02, 2016
(CBC)
 
 
 
Artist wants you to mail her dead bees
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
EgyptAir flight 804 made three emergency landings the day before it made one in the Mediterranean
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Well, just rename it the Moistened Lisa then
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oh look - it's the annual story about how deadly swimming pools can....oh dear
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Air Force Thunderbird demonstrates crash landing in Colorado Springs
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Today's Father of the Year candidate not only got arrested for peeping into neighbors' teenage girl's bedroom window, but left his 10-year-old son home alone with two loaded handguns
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Dogs may have been domesticated by humans on different sides of the Earth. One group with the badass ancestors of Siberian huskies, the other with that goddamn-never-shuts-up Pomeranian
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Crazy cat lady has nothing on crazy bird lady
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Oregon will soon have the most righteous munchies ever
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
You know, back in my day, boys could mess with lighters at playgrounds without setting metal jungle gyms, swings, see-saws on fire
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Step 1: Steal $175,000 from grocery store you work at. Step 2: Use stolen money to buy lottery tickets at the same store. Step 3: Profit?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Apple is reporting outages on many of its serv
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Royal douche who attacked a Royal Marine is now royally screwed after a judge replaces his suspended sentence with a year in jail for bragging about it online
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Muhammad Ali hospitalized for respiratory issues, details still shaky
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Fraternity allowed to return butt no more alcohol enemas
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fresh venison, $300. Some disassembly required
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Madrid neighborhood invaded by "street artists"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What time is it when a dumbass touches a clock on the museum wall?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
IDW Publishing will create a shared universe based on their licensed Hasbro Properties. Snake Eyes riding on Rainbow Dash as they charge into battle to take out Deceptions disguised as Cobra Rattlers might just happen
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
British Airways flight from London to Newark parked in a special area of airport due to threat. TSA will be re-screening carry-on and checked bags. Re-screening the bags after they have already reached their destination. And gotten off the plane
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Iowa governor urges public to participate in "God Is Dead" marathon
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Man on quest to give himself E-Coli 366 days in a row
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man on a call
source: c.o0bg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Facebook interests: smoking pot, drinking alcohol, "getting blitzed," stabbing people. Dislike Dislike Dislike
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
High school student arrives for English class carrying Confederate flag and announces it's white privilege day. You better believe it's going on his permanent record
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wisconsin teen finds out the hard way that if you don't want to end up sobbing in your mugshot then don't get drunk, expose yourself, and try to rape the host's wife at a party your mom is also at
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man laments slow pace while walking legless pet. What a drag
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
UCLA shooter was a former PhD student who accused his advisor of stealing his computer code, and had been waging a smear campaign against him on social media for several months
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
Sure, Terminator 3 wasn't great, but now Russia has weaponized it
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
German government angers Turkey by labeling what the Ottomans did to the Armenians as a genocide and that Erdogan is a "giant douche"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Shaquille O'Neal tries to pose as Lyft driver, blows it when he tries to teach passenger how to shoot free throws
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Maximum fine for 117 million illegal telemarketing calls? $1.9 trillion. Seems about right
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Airline profits to increase 12 percent in 2016. Airlines to announce new "Profit Increase Processing Fee" for all passengers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
American military Flight Demonstration Squadrons are not having a good day
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Kid calls 911 after dad runs red light. Learning to drive ought to be a hoot
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Not to worry, all the hamsters who lived through the Fort McMurray wildfire are being reunited with their owners. Along with all the bearded dragons, birds, fish, cats and dogs. "I know it's just hamsters, but they all matter" (pics)
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: We didn't all become kitchen geniuses overnight. Share your best FUBAR stories about cooking and let's all have a laugh
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Kinder eggs. Not even once
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
Americans really love driving, will probably continue driving even if gasoline prices rise to Europe's levels, where you might as well be filling your car up with liquid gold
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
For the end of the school year, teacher has students write down prejudices on paper then posts them on the wall. Since this ended up on Fark, you know how well it turned out
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sailing ship
source: pre04.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
King Tut's dagger was made from a meteorite, giving it +3 against Outsiders and allowed Tut +2 to all saving throws
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Malaysian Digest)
 
 
 
Bizarre tree found in Bulgaria looks just like the Ent Treebeard, has more personality than Mitt Romney
source: malaysiandigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMAZ Macon)
 
 
 
Woman in burka takes American flag and attacks homeowner with it, attacks other people with shoe, is stared down by 14-year-old with family gun. Oh Georgia, don't ever change
source: 13wmaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
No, the governor of Indiana is not stranded in the Philippines and he doesn't need your money to help him get home
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
"One of the other players accused him of cheating and threatened to set his tent on fire. The man left the card game and went to sleep. The next thing he knew, his tent was on fire"
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
German city councilman facing charges after tying a migrant to a tree
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
It's really quite amazing how many people could beat the shiat out of a 450 pound gorilla according to their social media accounts
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Man who is responsible for detaining and inflicting inhuman conditions and torture on thousands of innocents, is suspended from his job as a TSA security guard because he is also a wanted war criminal
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Emergency Management)
 
 
 
Would you mind not shooting at the nuclear reactors?
source: emergencymgmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Maybe it's a sign you should spend more time with your grandfather if on the day he's supposed to pick you up from school he takes home the wrong kid. "He said he's very sorry"
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
There's another Stuxnet copycat in the wild and no one knows who made it or what it's going to do this time
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Another senseless Teen Wolf imitation death
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Newfoundland government doubles tax on gasoline overnight, because everybody has to buy gas, right? Bonus: the price hike is so high, gas price-tracking websites are rejecting province's prices today as spoofed data
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Regular poker game in Boulder robbed by armed man and his getaway horse
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
YMCA chief arrested. Sailor, construction worker inconsolable
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Slow news day descends on San Diego
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia hits Peak Hipster with cafe serving "deconstructed coffee". No word if consumers have to forage through civet cat droppings themselves first
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Victim: These guys tried to kill me but I ran away. Police dispatcher: To file a report, you'll have to return to the scene of the crime. Victim: OK....BLAM-BLAM-AAAGH Dispatcher: Er, I didn't mean right now Appeals court: lawsuit dismissed
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingston Whig)
 
 
 
There has to be a special place in hell for nurses who steal the pain meds of dying patients and replace their hydromorphone with saline. Until then, prison will have to do. "This is a breach of trust on stilts. The harm she caused is indescribable"
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
There's now a drone that poops ladybugs
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Reservation: Single room, nonsmoking, king-size bed requested, hotel staff to provide picture of Grandma Winslow from Family Matters. If said pic is unavailable, a dog dressed as a boat captain can be substituted
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
The Cubs are winning, and now Illinois has rabid bats too
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
You know how the old saying goes: It's better to be pissed off than to have to drink your professor's urine for extra credit
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Police spokesman: "We can tell you that meth may make you go to your workplace, barricade yourself in a bathroom, strip naked and refuse to come out"
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin goes on feel good tour of hospital, makes children cry
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
School worker arrested for selling marijuana to 13 year old student, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, impersonanting Potato Jesus without a license
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood, 68, becomes the father of twins, now hopes to take up a healthier lifestyle in order to live long enough to see them graduate preschool
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Vikings in longship arrive in Canada. This is not a repeat from 1000AD
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Never, ever buy a freezer if it is taped shut and the seller says you can't open it or look inside until they come back and take something out first
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Now THAT'S what you call multi-tasking
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Middle East Monitor)
 
 
 
Hague tribunal continues trial of Hezbollah commander despite him being dead at the moment
source: middleeastmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Adobe Courses: Certified Expert in Photoshop CC exam preparation and practice tests; photography courses in Lightroom, beginner flash photography, night photography, Photoshop Elements training, and more. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man who received world's first penis transplant is released from hospital. Will be returning in a few months to be treated for tennis elbow
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Another day, another animal charging at a photo-obsessed tourist
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
It's "Boot to the head," not vice versa
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
Guy tries to run over coworker with forklift, then uses forklift to flip coworker's car. So, you don't want to hang out after work?
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Top Pentagon spokesman arrested for parking vigilantism
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Moose who got screwed earlier in the season hammers home a powerful lesson about nature by giving birth in the parking lot of a hardware store, throwing a monkey wrench in the plans of shoppers. Subby nailed it
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
What did you expect when you married a man with neck tattoos and horns coming out of his forehead?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Court adjudicating Sheriff Joe's racial profiling case takes long time to mull punishment, so protestors blow him up
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this girl behind the curtain
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
Say it ain't so Joe: Have we reached peak bacon in America? It could be all down hill from here
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
You've got to fight .... for your right ... to keep and eat your baby's placenta
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
"Yes waiter, can we have the dining table in the back that's suspended 150 feet in the air?"
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently ISIS had their own version of The Mountain. "Had" being the operative word however as he was last seen being dumped bound and half naked into the bed of pickup truck by Syrian government forces
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Uncut)
 
 
 
Remember how you first learned about the WWII interment camps and thought that that was the worst America had to offer that had been "forgotten" by history? The Tulsa Race Riots would like to have a word with you
source: usuncut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
No regerts
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man charged with stealing $30K ring that woman had left in store restroom, though his lawyer plans on citing the Supreme Court case of Finders-Keepers V. Losers-Weepers
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSTOR)
 
 
 
One of the reasons we're an economic superpower is that we've all been strung out on speed for 100 years
source: daily.jstor.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Passenger blown off exploding boat says unburnt Bibles are proof that God was onboard that day. Still no explanation for exploding boat
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Texans balk at the use of the word Haboob because it's Arabic. Money printed with Arabic numerals still okay
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 578: "What You See Is What You Get" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 01, 2016
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Kids with super soakers save old man from fire, are now welcome on his damn lawn
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Explosive investigation finds that defective Takata air bags are still being installed in new cars
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ian Visits)
 
 
 
Ancient Roman tablets found while excavating a new tube station entrance have been shown to contain the oldest reference to the City of London
source: ianvisits.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ken Starr resigns because of sex scandal
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Podiatrists declare Crocs bad for your feet, sex life
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Smoking pot may be bad for your gums ... but that's all
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Mobile)
 
 
 
Middle school teacher causes outrage after handing out 'racist' math quiz - one that's been circulating online for decades. BRILLIANT
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(CBS News)
 
 
 
SFPD helps rescue ugly-a...oh, who am I kidding, insanely adorable sea lion pup
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain, but the trains in Spain stay on the tracks so don't text while crossing them
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Couple trapped on cliffside saved after sending selfie to rescue crew (presumably the dick pics were meant as a thank-you)
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Original Alamo may have been discovered. No word if any artifacts were found in the basement
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual traffic jam
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
School bus drops off students a little too close to house. Somehow a cat is involved
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Notorious right-wing bigot, the Dalai Lama, says Europe has too many refugees
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Things are slow in congress, so members are working part-time for Lyft
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Egyptian twins successfully separated by surgery
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Getting an awful Mike Tyson face tattoo to disguise yourself after having a hit-and-run accident is no way to go through life, woman
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Let's take a ride with 'ol Sarge on bus #7
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
All pregnant women in Scotland to get free vitamins, presumably rolled in sausage meat and sugar and then deep-fried
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Pirate Steve, we've talked about this. No more pillaging Volkswagens
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Authorities find tiger cub bodies in Thai temple freezer. When asked why they would eat frosted tiger cubs, the monks responded, "They'rrrre GRRRRRRREAT"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Rider thrown from horse during parade on life support. This is why you shouldn't ride in parades if you're on life support
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So many adult diapers are being stolen from Tesco that they have to put theft alarms on them
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Regular Florida alligators apparently desperate to seem cool in front of new man-eating crocodiles
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Death rate in America rises for first time in decades. U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-A
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Sex ed classes in The Netherlands teach kids that sex is fun and enjoyable, instead of the American approach of scaring the bejesus out of kids so they won't try it. Guess which approach works?
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(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Paris is now banning all pre-1997 cars, vehicle owners left fuming
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(680 News Radio)
 
 
 
You have a solid gold, jewel encrusted eagle statue valued at five million dollars and it needs to be relocated. Do you a) hire armed security detail b) hire a Brinks truck to do the move for you or c) casually move it on the streets yourself ?
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Tired of your boring old houseplants just sitting there, doing nothing? Welcome to droneplants, the houseplant that floats in the air, kills terrorists
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
Science's big announcement for the week: children bonk their heads. Often
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(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Portland, Seattle and Denver home prices are the fastest growing in the country. Subby trying to think of what the three cities have in common, but consumption of recreational marijuana has clouded his thought process
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Catholic churchgoers unknowingly eat pot-laced cookies, mass hysteria ensues
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dear Penthouse, you'll never guess what happened during our ghost hunter graveyard tour (Some Not safe for work content on page)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Trial about cop porn will make you reach for popcorn
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful beach scene
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(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
So how is that "no-chase" policy working out for you, officer?
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
'Scholars' who predicted Doomsday in 2012 now say the end of the world is actually this weekend. "As far as we know, the people of Mesoamerica, the Maya included, didn't care about leap years." (With all the math you need to know to 'prove' it)
source: indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Are you polishing up your novel for the upcoming Fark Book Fair? Are you panicking over your entry for the Fark Fiction Anthology? Are you pondering your pantlessness? THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread brought to you by senseless alliteration
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(CSO Online)
 
 
 
Report: 93% of all phishing emails are now ransomware because identity theft is too much of a time commitment
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
13-year-old boy suffers from Michelle Duggar Syndrome after shark attack
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(MSN)
 
 
 
McDonalds is being sued for failing to accommodate blind customers at the drive thru. The suit charges that with all of the nifty technology out there, a company that serves breakfast all day should be able to figure out something
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(People's Daily (China))
 
 
 
A copycat Sphinx rises in Northwest China, probably to keep an eye on the Gods at the Athenian Parthenon next to it
source: en.people.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
Reset the clock. Shooter active on UCLA campus. If it turns out to be Russell Westbrook, seek cover until the 4th quarter when he can't hit anything
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(The Intercept)
 
 
 
4th Circuit Court of Appeals rules that your phone is now officially a government tracking device, noting that if you didn't consent to be tracked you could always just not carry around something that did exactly that 24/7 like it was your third nut
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
At last, after all this work, my life-size Lego Zootopia statue is complete. Surely, this one rope will keep it safe
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoEvolution)
 
 
 
The Nürburgring track is legendary as the best drivers in the world test their skills with the fastest cars. But the very best time to visit the track is Tourist Days, when you'll find Ford Econoline vans, delivery trucks, and tour buses there
source: autoevolution.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
'Tree Man' will go to the psychiatric branch of the hospital
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, every Wednesday I bang the security guy at the office in the after hours, he has the keys to all the offices (and my orifices) and we're trying to have sex in all of them from the top floor on down. I'm a married woman, what should I do
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aero-News Newwork)
 
 
 
Flying to France this weekend? You may want to double-check your flight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: aero-news.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
City engineers finally get it right as a simple change transforms one of L.A.'s busiest intersections into one of its safest
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Beauty queen in four-inch heels fights off mugger moments before Miss Universe casting call
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Goodness gracious
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Woman takes care of blind, brain damaged raccoon after promising it that humans, Thanos, won't hurt it anymore
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"The White House made me a poster child for beating the odds, but then I dropped out of college"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Marijuana product liability lawsuit filed by the guardians of three children whose father killed their mother while allegedly under the influence. "Even dog-treat makers...include ingredient lists, recommended amounts and warnings"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
How to get a good night's sleep? Simple. Just follow the 10-3-2-1-0 routine
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
*PING*
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scenic overlook
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
♫ Hooray for Bollywood. Luckily the music's not very good, so that any ISIS or freedom fighter, will flee in fright sir, at the opening notes of a tune. If you're bored and need a hobby, go annoy Wahhabis out by smoldering ruins. Hooray for Bollywood ♫
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
Penis goes WHERE???
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Ugly ass litter of Bobcat kittens found in Santa Monica Mountains
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(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
It was a lovely walk in the park. Until the agitated moose spotted them
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kelowna Now)
 
 
 
Three U.S. Border Patrol agents take a Canadian woman into a garage and verify that she's a woman. This is not a plot summary from Kink.com
source: kelownanow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
On opposite day, a police officer is convicted of a crime and sentenced to 4 years for shooting an unarmed black man
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man spent nearly five months at Rikers Island because no one told him his bail was set at just $2
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Clear Science)
 
 
 
To all you people that have the herp, relax, there's a surprising upside of having the virus
source: realclearscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rush Limbaugh is confused as to why the Cincinnati ape never evolved into a human. Subby's more interested in how a different ape got his own radio show
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(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Because when we do it, it's completely different than North Korea or Israel using collective punishment
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are the strangest laws in every state, so think twice about wrestling that bear or biting off that person's leg
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Starbucks doesn't believe it is shorting us on our lattes. Over charging, yes -- under-filling, nope
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The New York Catholic Church paid lobbyists $2.1 million to block child sex abuse law reform
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Synthetic dogs could revolutionize veterinarian school while simultaneously haunting your dreams
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
If you were accepted to Dowling College this fall, you might want to give your backup school another look
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You're overcompensating for something Switzerland
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 31, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A man who sliced his face open with a chainsaw while working on his farm miraculously survived by driving himself to hospital after "tying his head together' with bandages in his car." H-A-R-D-C-O-R-E (w. amazing X-rays)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Now you just look pathetic, ISIS
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Can it really be considered 'armed robbery' if your choice of weapon is a sharp rock?
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