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Sun May 22, 2016
(Metro)
 
 
 
Police come to aid of hotel guest suffering extreme bout of naked somnambulism
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
A story that's both lame and sucks: Woman fights off burglar with crutch and vacuum cleaner
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Snidely Whiplash exposes his penis, threatens to rape McDonald's employee in his buttocks
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
I shot an arrow into the air / And where it went, I do not care
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Dog maybe finds human skull in Oklahoma field. The landowners said this was "out of the ordinary for the area." With helpful photos of guy tinkling, guy with big gulp, grain, fencepost, and melon head
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boarding Area)
 
 
 
Only difference between TSA & the bum at the liquor store is one doesn't demand you take off your shoes: TSA cleared $765,759.15 in loose change left at checkpoints last year
source: thewinglet.boardingarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Baker Duff Goldman created a functional beer glass made of crystalized sugar and cake, and he doesn't even drink
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Taipei Times)
 
 
 
Man who poached endangered fish is stuck between a rock and a hard plaice, may get jail time to mullet over
source: taipeitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
How many times can you be tasered before you die? Apparently it's a number less than 15
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
School bans whistles, fearing the precious snowflakes might find the sound 'too aggressive.'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Priceonomics)
 
 
 
The internet has voted The Complete Calvin & Hobbes as their favorite book. The shock isn't that it's more loved than the Christian Bible, it's that it's more beloved than the far superior The Complete Far Side
source: priceonomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high seas training
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Cop responds to complaint of kids playing soccer in a parking lot, shoots, does not score
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
A Turkish plane is shot down with a Russian missile, putting both countries even more on edge. U.S. media: "We'll keep focusing on an election that's six months away, thanks"
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
You can enter to win a stay in the Eiffel Tower. I'm Blue da ba dee da ba daa Da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa, da ba dee da ba daa
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: TarDisk 64GB - expand your MacBook Air's hard drive. Just insert this card into the SD card slot. *Deal missing additional USB SD card reader for alternative SD card-reading needs. Otherwise pretty damn cool. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Jesus: Son of God. Savior of the Christian Faith. The first transgendered man, The light and the...wait, WAT
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
What's America's last jaguar worth against plans for a multibillion-dollar copper mine? Probably not much
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 'Powder Monkey'
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Gary Linepurr gets rescued from tree with a crisp package on its head: "I guess you could say we 'salted' it"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Ontario High Shcool issues unfortunate diplomas. Don't worry, callidge will be better
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Denver high school where the boys and girls are kept separate is having a sexual harassment problem. Looks like they'll have to keep them separate from each other on the internet, as well. Yes, Denver, keep it all bottled up, that always works
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man kills two people and himself at motorcycle club concert. Probably because he couldn't figure out what a motorcycle club concert was
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A look at the painstaking restoration that went into one of the world's oldest libraries, a repository of Islamic tomes in Morocco
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Really connected dog tests positive for meth and heroin
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Woman builds pyramid, mummifies husband, and buries him there. OK, maybe she didn't build it. And not exactly a pyramid. A shed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
The horror: Seven-year-old girl rides on the back of a motorcycle. Mother arrested and sentenced to life in prison. Just kidding, she was just criticized a lot on the internet
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oxford Mail)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you unearth a live WWI artillery shell in your garden
source: oxfordmail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Simpsonville, South Carolina arrests 54 people in what may be their largest prostitution bust ever dubbed "Operation Good Time"
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Chilean man decides to commit suicide by stripping naked and jumping into a lion's den at a zoo. Two lions proceed to maul him, but zoo officials shoot and kill the lions before they can finish the job
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Puppy play" in which grown men dress up as dogs to romp about together is "definitely not about sex." You might want to check out the pics before rendering judgement though
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Grab your eyeliner & fishnets. It's World Goth Day
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
PhotoShop this paralympian
source: osp-rheinland.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Unplanned home demos
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
41 people killed, two dozen injured in India by mountain roads, gravity
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sacred Artichoke)
 
 
 
There won't be a Livingston Stapler Company Presents show tonight as our host is attending a Mavis Staples concert. For your listening enjoyment here is an archived show from July 14, 2012
source: sacredartichoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 21, 2016
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
School kids asked "What will it be like when you are 40?" Seriously who wouldn't want to own a pet lion, drink beer and wear cardigans in France
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S. drone strike mansplains a few things to Taliban chief Mullah Mansour
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
Lake Mead, the largest reservoir in the United States, has fallen to its lowest level since it was first filled in the 1930s
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This just in: Keeping tons of highly radioactive spent fuel rods in on-site pools just might be a little bit risky
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
I heard you like Photoshops, so I put a Photoshop in your Photoshop to Photoshop
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's your worst neighbor story?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Volcano in Indonesian erupts again, killing villagers, subliminally making everyone crave Cinnabons
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Drunkard)
 
 
 
Saturday May 21st is World Whiskey Day. Raise one and celebrate before the Admins ruin another server
source: worldwhiskyday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Casper mattress and Parachute sheets - enter to win contest. What's your favorite mattress and / or sheets? What happened to waterbeds being an option? How about being encased in custom foam on a nightly basis?(Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this paper tiger
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So, did you hear the one about 3 mayors who walk into an elevator?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
"When the wind's picking up you can smell it again. It's not as potent as last time, so perhaps they're masking the smell better or sealed the house where it's being grown better"
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
You mean to tell me that 'Whole Grain' Cheez-Its aren't good for me?
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Rio Olympics organizers are giving out enough condoms for each athlete to have sex with 84 other athletes, although maybe not at once
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Man swallows live goldfish at fair to 'impress mates', gets banned from owning a fish for 5 years
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
You know those stories about how women bare their breasts at police officers to get out of tickets? Say goodbye to your fantasy
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTN Dayton)
 
 
 
Fake letter informs Cincinnati students of mandatory genitalia inspections. North Carolina lawmakers happy to finally have a template
source: wdtn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for having sex at screening of Batman v Superman, may be the only two people in the world who actually enjoyed that film
source: stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
"Taking action. For Denver. For our bohemian legacy. For Independent Art." And for Great Justice. But mostly for the money
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
After not cutting it for 13 years, Russian Rapunzel's hair hasn't yet reached its full growth potential
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Police to WA man cycling to BC to meet a 12-year-old girl: "Why don't you have a seat over there?"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this morning meal
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good Reads)
 
 
 
"Murder most foul, as in the best it is," This week, the Saturday Morning Book Club is looking for the perfect crime...true crime, that is. What are your favorite books and who are the "must-read" authors?
source: goodreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
There can be only one. Even on Caturday
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is: Don't mess with a mom with her child in the car
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Massive terror alert at UK university after drunk student calls 999 posing as Jack Bauer and claiming he found two bombs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Chinese scientist claims he has discovered how to cure baldness through genome editing, a presumably more effective method than applying an animal penis to your bald head and crossing your fingers
source: usa.chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
World-famous ethics professor: "Do as I teach, not as I do"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Lily, the abused and almost "thrown away" horse gets a new home... At the Middletown, N.J., horse sanctuary owned by Jon Stewart and his wife
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cutting back on salt in your diet? Enjoy your upcoming heart attack
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado needs more data on the effects of marijuana. Volunteers are being accepted at *cue stampede noises*
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 20, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Did you study this week? Did you read every story and carefully write down notes on each story posted on Fark? No? Well, then you're not ready for the Fark Weird News Quiz. This will be a part of your permanent grade, sorry
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fikra)
 
 
 
What happens when an Arab-Muslim Journalist from Egypt decides to visit Israel to see what it's really like? Ohhh, that's what happened
source: fikraforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Get ready for a solar Chernobyl: World's largest solar plant sets itself on fire
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: clichés literally brought to life
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Indian population threatened as temperatures hit 128 degrees. Don't people start igniting at 135 degrees?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
There's nothing worse than armed carjacking with a full bladder
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LA lawyer sends his drawing of a Klan guy burning a cross next to a hanged man labeled "Nibong" to City Council member, is shocked over the reaction, claims it's just satire: "We're getting lynched with a 20% rate hike"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Woman with rare brain disorder that makes her strip can't work out what job to do
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Sex trafficker gets record sentence, which actually calculates to "halfway to almost appropriate" sentence
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Woman has six ribs removed for a 16-inch waist, says her goal is to look like a cartoon character. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAIT Jonesboro)
 
 
 
Hidden camera: What kids do when they find a gun unexpectedly
source: kait8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Burning your ex-fiancee's stuff in the driveway is a romantic way of expressing your closure on a failed relationship, but try to remember not to catch the neighbor's garage on fire when you do it, or the police might get involved
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man gets breast implants to win $100,000 bet. Textbook red flag for a gambling problem right there
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Irate beaver takes man hostage
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Kalamazoo Uber shooter's preliminary examination goes about as expected
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In the U.S., we sue homophobic bakers. In Pakistan, the disgruntled brother of a bakery owner puts pesticide in pastries and kills 31 people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Neighbour finds missing passport on the street enabling photographer to catch his flight. To Egypt. Last Thursday. Yes, that flight
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In America: "Do not bring this gun to school." In Russia: "Do not bring this gun to school. It's filthy. Strip it down and clean it now or you'll fail"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DCist)
 
 
 
Looks like nutrition labels are getting an update. Still won't tell you how fat things will actually make you
source: dcist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shadowy wing
source: s3.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Sorry Zika virus witch doctors, but the Summer Olympics will not be leaving Rio anytime soon ...unless of course people just start falling dead all over the place
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybellween (link not safe for work)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
White House on lockdown due to nearby shooting. Major event or DC just being DC?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Insider (IO))
 
 
 
Laugh it up, fuzzball
source: techinsider.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
City pays $140,000 to re-key cop cars after someone steals a key. In other news, many cop cars share the same key
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Next time ferme la bouche
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Sunpack GoPro Accessories. What's the best thing you've filmed with your GoPro? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Father stands his ground against toddler who wouldn't stop jumping on the bed
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Fire, for when spray painting "Cheater" on your boyfriend's car just won't do
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hey Rocky, watch me pull an airliner out of a hat. But that trick never works. This time for sure...Presto
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New studies show that human beings are not actually designed to eat meat and meat doesn't help keep us healthy. So, you know, put down that steak. Seriously, put it down. There, don't you feel better. Hey, look, is that kale? *grabs steak and runs*
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Rare human disease discovered in dogs. Your dog wants some protection
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Soldier's remains returned home after being found in glacier 60 years after plane crash, no word if his giant frisbee was found
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Mob in Venezuela burns man over $5. "The mob didn't know at first what Roberto Bernal had done, but he was running and that was enough"
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Too much sex changes the shape of your genitals, say scientists who want us to have as little sex as they do
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
After all that work to find the burglar, it was a raccoon hiding under a plant
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Public pools and hot tubs are just giant soupbowls of bacteria, disease, and urine
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
North Carolina school district wants to ban skinny jeans, which is going to be a huge inconvenience for the three students who can fit in them
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Why flight ticket prices are constantly changing. Summary: Yes, it's gouging
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCHS Charleston)
 
 
 
"There's just no reason to get that worked up over a burrito"
source: wchstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Nest cams are a growing fad among Americans who love watching awe-inspiring birds like eagles and ospreys in nature. Right up until nature stops being all Disney, that is
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
How not to waste money at the grocery store. "Stay the fark out of Whole Foods" suspiciously absent
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wobbly people
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The Nile crocodiles will eat the Burmese pythons but Florida won't get cold enough in the winter to kill mountain gorillas. You fools
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Murderous traitors will no longer be allowed to fly their flag in veterans' cemeteries
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Girl held captive, shackled in basement for over a year by her step-father and step-brother
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Megastore defends its prominent storefront marquee that encourages people to celebrate National Masturbation Month. "We feel that using humor and fun helps break down a lot of stereotypes"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Florida tourist handles getting locked out of room like any Florida man would: by shooting the lock off the door
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
TD Bank picks up its change-counting machines and goes home
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"I remember like feeling the bear was swallowing me. I remember feeling like I was in the bear's mouth or throat. It was very wet"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man arrested for committing fraud to get Fort McMurray disaster relief. Not cool, hoser
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Public Broadcasting)
 
 
 
Dildonain Corey Lequieu pleads guilty to conspiracy because of A) Freedom, B) his rank is below admiral, or C) his long criminal history. Bonus: he won't talk to the government
source: opb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
High school sends students wearing Haitian flag t-shirts home. On Haitian Flag Day
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 19, 2016
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Scott Disick literally copied + pasted his paid Instagram caption because he's an "influencer"
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Lobster traps now have two uses
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Headline: "Mystery surrounds last moments of missing EgyptAir plane." People working at CNN just got goosebumps and an erection at the same time
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan's Democratic Party unveils new logo, which is immediately ridiculed as indecent for depicting act of either kancho or groping
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
"You go now. You here one hour. Why you here one hour?"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Next Big Future)
 
 
 
From we knew this was going to happen one day dept. Govt creates "Tactical Cloud" because the name "Kill Web" is scary and Skynet was taken
source: nextbigfuture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A new type of lawnmower
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man convicted of death threats against Sen. Harry Reid is now being investigated for stalking a Fox News contributor. Is that a step up?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
The District of Columbia is a hot place to live, because (1) it's where all the political action is (2) from June to September it's like living in a steam bath (3) its Metro catches fire four times a week, or (4) all of the above
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Funeral home billboard urging drivers to please, text and drive
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The Republican Party of Texas just stated in its official party platform that homosexuality is ordained by God in the Bible, recognized by our Founding Fathers, and is a lifestyle shared by most Texans
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Study shows the average person can relax and be unproductive for only 36 minutes a day. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"Putin never ended the gangsterism of the 1990s, he just nationalized it." And it's no longer working
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
He was a Sk8er Boi, she said don't hit me with the skateboard, he wasn't a good listener
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
On the plus side, at least his "I Sell Weed" ad on Craigslist did result in exposure for his business
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
21% of Americans would rather give up sex than lose Wi-Fi for a month; 10% would give up a friend
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Naked Iowa man loses game of hide and seek when fire and rescue come to pull him out of a chimney
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Detroit says screw it, it's too much work being a "major city"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Ready to break out summer cocktails? Show us the good stuff. Difficulty: ..oh, who are we kidding, Farkers don't have difficulty with booze ideas
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman grabs her shotgun and makes a Facebook post warning the would-be burglars who tried to break into her home not to come back, because obviously the first thing the burglars will do is check her Facebook page
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
And on the day a 5-year-old girl brought a bubble gun to school, our innocence was truly and irrevocably lost
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Straight women are going to the Hamptons to be seduced by their female trainers. I've seen documentaries about this online
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Government employees spend their wedding night copying the Chinese constitution, totally not staged event of course
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The Dumbass tag was invented for accused Florida shoplifter Prolancia Aquila Turner
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this oh-so-happy policeman
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Colon cancer is biased towards leftists
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
As Fark predicted, the media frenzy about the missing plane kicked into gear and the hyperbole started. Here is another messed up example
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YLE (Finland))
 
 
 
The Finnish anti-immigrant/neo -Nazi group "Soldiers of Odin" REALLY should have registered their name at the trademark office so that, say, someone who hates them couldn't register it for a clothing line featuring unicorns and glitter... lots of glitter
source: yle.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lubbock Online)
 
 
 
"Wine can complement food, help with social interaction." Good to see that West Texas is finally catching up with the ancient Greeks
source: lubbockonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
Hold my root beer and watch this
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Sure, you accidentally live stream the birth of a child and you're an Internet sensation. But you accidentally live stream the creation of a child and suddenly Facebook is calling the cops
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
French government announces that they believe three armed men were on EgyptAir Flight MS804
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Displaying the kind of vision that made him President, Marco Rubio suggests a Tim Tebow statue in the US Capitol
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Which lobby's funding increased nearly 400% at the beginning of 2016? California marijuana prohibition. And who's behind this influx of cash? Get your fainting couch ready
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Dog rescued after spending 5 weeks living on freeway median
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Given the motivation to do so, do you think you could manufacture a successful trending "social outrage" type story? You know, the kind that seem to exist solely to be shared and get reactions on social media? (LGT Such a story)
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Former Princeton graduate student with dyslexia protests treatment with rehung trikes
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
EgyptAir Flight 804 no longer missing; CNN racing to the scene as fast as they can drive while masturbating
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
NewsFlash
 
Morley Safer's first week of retirement gets off to a bad start
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Old man yells at Google Doodles
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Memories flow as students pen musical tributes to seniors with dementia. Ummm
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Aaahoo Werewolves of Calgary
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Johnny Cash has risen from the dead and is stalking Peruvian schoolchildren
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Parents complaining that the picture of their unborn blob looks exactly like the picture of someone else's unborn blob
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
With all the bad cop stories, sometimes you just need a story about a good cop who saved the life of a young girl, and just attended her college graduation
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
It didn't take long for Canada's new PM to go from charming and urbane to dropping f-bombs and hitting women in parliament
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Makey Makey Invention Kit. Turn anything that conducts electricity into a touchpad. Banana Piano. Play dough game controller. The wonders I could do with ketchup... (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
China is *definitely* NOT taking dead bodies, marinating them, putting them in cans and then selling them in African supermarkets. Cue the Jennifer Lawrence "Yeah, O.K. thumbs up" gif
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A class that played jump rope with cat intestines will not be punished as it was a part of the curriculum
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
British university bans mortarboarding at graduation
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Earth shatters heat records for 12th straight month. Ear-th, Ear-th, Ear-th
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
66% of Americans are so in debt that a $1,000 emergency would make them destitute
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Venezuelans protesting shortages of electricity, foodstuff, medicine and consumer goods find tear gas is still readily available
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
I've been arrested 37 times before, but the 38th time is unjustified
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man settles in for a good overnight standoff with police.......aaaaaand he's asleep
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Just a little tip: If you want to scare kids by going door to door and 'flashing', make sure it's not the home of the Chief of Police
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHSV Harrisonburg)
 
 
 
Deputy County Administrator Stephen King investigates unmarked graves found at construction site
source: whsv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL Baltimore)
 
 
 
The Pope: Exploiting workers in the name of profit is an unforgivable sin
source: wbal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson, London's former mayor and insurgent leader of the Brexit move, wins an offensive poetry contest for his writings about an interaction between a Turkish leader and a goat
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
The Great Layback Debate: Is it ever appropriate for a bartender to pour a shot directly into a customer's mouth? "Serving drinks this way over the bar is a loud display of over-serving and is not in the best interest of the brand being poured"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HASTAC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weather manipulation
source: hastac.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Remember that time that Neil Armstrong and Sir Edmund Hillary took a trip to the North Pole, and Armstrong was like "I've never seen it from the ground before, only the moon". Good times
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
When having a row with a farmer over a right-of-way, always beware when he says he'd "f*** you under a tractor" and has loose-fitting boots on.... he might just mean it
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Come to the restaurant where everything patriotic is celebrated and the lunch rush is stopped for the playing of the national anthem
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Britain's Express wants to get ahead of CNN, immediately says Egyptair Flight MS804 was "swerving erratically" and was "probably attacked by terrorists"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
B-52 crashes in Guam; CNN seen masturbating furiously
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
If you're a reporter, you want to cover the news, not make the news. Especially if you make the news because you've just been arrested for taking a dump in somebody's yard while on a story
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
How to reduce pedestrian injuries when they are inevitably hit by self-driving cars run amok? Glue em to the hood
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Add "election campaigns" to list of things in Australia that will try to kill you
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
TSA has warned that lines will get longer. Here's the proof
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Gym tells woman her "breasts are too large for her tank top." With pic that could launch a thousand gym memberships
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
San Francisco man discovers data on local housing prices wasn't kept before city instituted rent controls in 1979. So he gathered it himself by reading 30 years of for-rent ads, charted it, found "shiat was bad before; shiat was bad after"
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hot coffee trend for summer 2016 is ... ultra-cold coffee
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Sure, you have a private jet... but do you have a private jet with a sunroof?
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 576: "Let's Get Personal" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 18, 2016
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
An Egypt Air flight from Paris to Cairo has gone full CNN. Sadly, in aviation, you never go full CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Today's school lock-down is brought to you by the right to bear arms. In a tree, attached to the rest of the bear
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Scientifically created champagne is the biggest innovation in the alcohol world since boxed wine
source: 937jackfm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Cutting crew finds woman's body off interstate, and ooooAHHH she just died in your arms tonight
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AccuWeather)
 
 
 
For a preview of what the whole state will look like in 50 years or so, take a look at Vero Beach Florida, which got a foot of rain yesterday
source: accuweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
If you get past "Naked Florida Man," this story has so much more depth and scope
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Louisiana, during a discussion about raising the minimum age for strippers to 21, a state lawmaker files an amendment with a maximum age and weight limit
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
On the one hand, watermelons are not usually part of an alligator's diet. On the other hand, I'M not gonna be to the one to go get it back
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this outer space medication
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KABC)
 
 
 
The TSA is apparently slowed down by not taking naked pictures of you
source: kabc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
For the low, low price of $8 plus shipping, you can own one of these unbreakable child whippin' sticks. Just don't post nuthin' on the internet, OK?
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Someone bought George Zimmerman's penis after all
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Problem: blowing dust from a plot of land has closed a portion of Interstate 10 at the Arizona-New Mexico border a number of times since the beginning of April. Possible solution: Gorilla-Snot
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not News: Aviation nerds travel around the world to fly on specific planes News: special trip to North Korea due to the old age of their soviet aircraft
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KeysNet)
 
 
 
Most folks grow out of their graffiti phase late in their teens. Not this guy
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"The fart noises haven't stopped for 30 minutes." Difficulty: Not taken from a Farker's daily journal
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Trudeau apologises for Komagata Maru incident. KHAAAAAN
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
Netflix has acquired the rights to Moon Knight, Ghost Rider, and Blade; because apparently Jessica Jones, DareDevil, Luke Cage, Iron Fist, and Punisher weren't enough. Also, apparently in talks to option that comic you drew that time in 3rd grade
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
The only thing missing from this 1937 map that predicted how Japan would attack the U.S. during World War II is the fact that it would be the Germans that attacked Pearl Harbor and not the Japanese
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ponzi)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pyramid scheme
source: blog.kronos.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Planning to visit Tamil Nadu in Southeast India? Better get going before they take away your right to drink booze and pass out on the sidewalk with all the broken glass
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Clinton or Trump? I don't want to live on this planet anymore
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Tampa Police show teenage skateboarders who's boss for no apparent reason whatsoever
source: 970wfla.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
I have never seen a poem so lovely as a OW GET THIS THING OFF ME
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
PSA: For all you terrorist wannabes if you want to keep your plans a secret then it's not a good idea to try and buy a 'suicide-vest' online
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
72-year old Aussie beats off crocodile snatch with a wrench
source: mobile.abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Officials try to get a handle on wayward shopping carts (w/SFW pics)
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
One of the problems with Chinese authorities so brutally suppressing the memory of what happened in Tienanmen Square during the student uprising is that it can't serve as a warning to new groups of demonstrators attempting the same thing
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Go home Wisconsin, you're drunk
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Yes, we have no bananas. But we do have 8 tons of cocaine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Press)
 
 
 
The IDF offered amnesty to Israelis returning misappropriated army equipment. They got back 1.3 million rounds of ammunition, 4000 grenades, shells, mortars and missiles, 2 joysticks sans airplane and a motorcycle - check out the photos
source: jewishpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
A man approaches an elderly neighbor asking to use the phone, strips naked and steals two walking canes
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
36 years ago today, subby was at a local skate park, watching what he thought was a severe thunderstorm rolling in around 1:00pm. Turned out Mt. St. Helens had erupted that morning. What were YOU doing on that fateful day?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
Police dash cam captures early morning fireball hurtling across New England
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
People please don't leave your teaching aids lying around in parks, especially if it's a severed foot
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If someone calls demanding a ransom for a kidnapped relative, it behooves you to verify if they're actually missing
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Less than a month to go to get your short story submissions in. Are you running around with your pants off yet? You should be running around with your pants off. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread "Has anyone seen my pants?" Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Holy crap
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Zoogtv VPN. One review describes using VPN like driving a car through a tunnel instead of on a highway in the open. It also allows you to make your own tunnels, like to Netflix or Hulu from overseas. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Rolf Harris has been passing time in prison by making didgeridoos out of toilet rolls. Didgeridoos. You'll be saying that word all day now
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this synchronization
source: thenypost.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iran demands the U.S. make reparations for "spiritual damage"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Remember that time in Kangaroo Flat, when Blue hit that roo, and the bugger flew into Stu? Strewth, talk about laugh
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This teacher is in grave danger after being caught having sex with a student in a cemetery
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This police chief wants to huff, puff, and blow suspects down. Or at least huff
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the middle of Target to be seen by others
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Junior high student hacks into teacher's email account, then uses it to send a little year-end surprise to classmates
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Man uses a fake $100 bill for lap dance. And he's thirty-two-years old. And he lives with his parents. And the mug shot says everything else
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police spokesman recommends "calling building management rather than trying to obtain lost items down a trash chute by yourself"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Pumps that flush floodwater out of Miami Beach are dumping something else into the bay - human waste
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 17, 2016
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Man on probation goes into Hooters, claims to be an undercover agent on a case. He gets the names of several employees before leaving on his skateboard. And then things get weird
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Texting too much on the wedding night? That's a divorcin'
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York could be the first state in the nation to outlaw cat declawing
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Unable to find enough workers capable of passing a drug test, many U.S. employers stop testing for weed. In related news: Who the hell ate all the chocolate chip cookies in the breakroom?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
"Today, kids, you're going to see how your babysitter supplements her income"
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The latest "optical illusion" that supposedly has the internet all abuzz. Took me a while to see it, and it really wasn't worth the time
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The day's most improbable headline: "Jelly Belly Family Sued Over WWII Tank Death"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
There's something about this that's so bad, it's like how much more bad could this be? And the answer is none. None more bad. Zero stars from Charity Navigator. Mr National Vietnam Veterans Foundation... zero... point... zero
source: insider.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
A West Virginia woman walks into a Florida clinic to get a Brazilian butt-lift, because butts in West Virginia aren't big enough already
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"It was concluded that this incident was not a hate crime as originally believed, but rather a case of excessive underage drinking and extremely poor judgment on the part of many people, Marcus included"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jackson Hole News and Guide)
 
 
 
The most famous bear in the world is back in Grand Teton National Park, along with her ugly-ass newborn cub
source: jhnewsandguide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Supreme Court refuses to hear case of evangelicals marching around Dearborn with a severed pig's head, telling Muslims they would burn in hell. To be fair, I wouldn't want to hear that, either
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
See, when you slaughter chickens in the street for your religious beliefs, Hasidics of Williamsburg Brooklyn, you risk the wrath of their pox
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
"Received a complaint of potential harassment. Under investigation. Let's act our age, people. Recess is over and your dad can't beat anyone up anymore," and other classics from the Silverton, CO crime blotter
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here there be lions
source: yellowscene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Crazy lawyer who dresses up as a superhero -- Excuseman -- and fancies himself a stand-up comedian indicted for stealing from clients. He could probably use a good excuse right about now
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
73-year-old grandfather arrested for domestic abuse after disciplining two grandkids old-fashioned way in McDonald's
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
BBC discovers the dingle peninsula. Submitter found his ages ago and has the chafing to prove it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Justice Delayed: Court Martial of U.S. Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl for desertion will not happen until after the Presidential Election
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Corporate America can't get enough stupid advice about millennials. At least cocaine was cheaper and had some material benefits
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Walmart theft suspect tells cops she was "too lazy" to pay for Trojan personal massager, K-Y lubricant, vibrating penis ring
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
When waging war on your neighbor for their huge bright flatscreen TV that's going all night long, one needs to go old school and whip out the strobe light and disco ball to go all Studio 54 on their arse
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Policeman rescues who
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Let's lay in the road and play dead to scare drivers. What could possibly go wrong?
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
And you thought YOUR local weather was bad
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Lindsay now plans to eat the food with her 10-year-old son before deleting and blocking her date's number from her phone"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Scientists have basically proven there is no such thing as free will, which helps explain why Drew greenlit this headline even though it wasn't very funny
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some people die alone. Some people die after banging their heads on the wall while having 'vigorous sex' with a transsexual prostitute in Thailand. Only one will win you posthumous glory around here
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine study has found that, not only are GMOs safe, they appear to be good for both people and the environment. So we can just put this subject to bed, right guys? Right?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
To underscore the value of a better job, a worker who moves from minimum wage to an average salaried job will cut their pay gap with the CEO from 819x to a paltry 335x
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"Ever wanted to lick your cat?" "No." "Meet LickiBrush, the-" "No." "-new way to bond with-" "I said no." "-your furry friend without risk of-" "Stop." "-hairballs and-" "I DON'T WANT TO LICK MY CAT"
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Well, Subby is glad he did his Post Office business yesterday
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Top 10 handguns in Alabama. List contains more than 10, but, hey, who can count in this state? (Warning: Slideshow)
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Top China Censor: We do not have censorship
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these accordion bikini ladies
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Unable to find a bison calf to endanger, group of Red Bull bro filmmakers wander past numerous signs warning visitors to stay on the path at Yellowstone's Grand Prismatic Spring
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Blind attorney driven to bankruptcy for defending characters like Bin Laden's son-in-law, Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman and Gaius Baltar
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Danish scientists want to fight cow farts with oregano, because global warming. "Nobody is quite sure how such a high dosage of oregano could affect the taste of milk or meat"
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brainerd Dispatch)
 
 
 
Minnesota student flies confederate flag from car to "respect those people that fought for everything where we are today," according to his mom
source: brainerddispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ocala Star-Banner)
 
 
 
Man finds the most Florida way to join a work crew
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
"Welcome to Lowe's Garden Center, may I help you?" "Yes, do you have any of those copperhead-laden trees?" "Right over here, sir"
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Commercial)
 
 
 
300-lb man steals $44 in steaks from grocery, flees the scene. Just not very far. Police find suspect "sweaty, dirty and out of breath"
source: dailycommercial.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The world's 500 surviving right whales have apparently left
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southampton Daily Echo)
 
 
 
Watercress eating competition brings together the only people on earth who have actually ever tasted it
source: dailyecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Unknown attackers rip the heads off of forty chickens. Police on the lookout for an unusually strong chicken choker
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Headless body in trunk less car
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Doggie downers to hit the market (with what a freaked out dog may look like)
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Parents beware: Kids know secret emoji language ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Four firefighters are accused of making fake calls to 911 with emergency reports just to they can cruise around town in their spiffy fire truck
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ninth Circuit reinstates lawsuit brought on by three men against Alameda County for its ordinance arbitrarily banning gun stores within 500 feet of residential areas, requires governments to justify restrictions on gun stores
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, In Bizarro World, a Florida politician calls out the stupidity of North Carolina with a well reasoned argument bordering on satire
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bison, FATALITY! You win, Yellowstone tourists. PERFECT!
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Donald Trump may sue the New York Times for their accurate expose of him
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
I had no idea unlicensed massage therapists were a terrorist threat, boy do I feel more secure
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Raspberry Pi 3 Complete Starter Kit. Hands-on education for computer hardware, software, and peripherals. Pie recipe not included. Share your favorite pie recipe here. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
To prove conspiracies American businessman bizarrely wants to raise $1 million to stage a dramatic recreation of the 9/11 terror attacks on the World Trade Center, is now looking for an abandoned building and an old aircraft to buy
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New high-tech wine decanter keeps your leftover wine fresh for up to three weeks. Leftover wine?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Advisory: if you're in the area of Bear Mountain, watch out for bears
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The CIA Inspector General has destroyed a report alleging on torture conducted by CIA agents. But the Inspector General wants you to know it was just an accident
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this precision grooming
source: atpress.ne.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
New robotic exosuit technology will increase your ability to lift things by seven whole percent. Let's break out the champagne folks, no need to work any harder
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
How to capture a roving band of rogue roosters? Get them drunk, of course
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Render unto seizures the things that are seizures
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Just because your neighbor won't illuminate the American flag on his mailbox at night according to federal code doesn't give you the right to steal it and hand it over to the Veterans of Foreign Wars to give it a proper retirement
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Wow. so stylish. much baggage. very memeish. must have
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Sex Roulette" parties being held where one person is HIV+ and no condoms allowed are apparently now a thing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A secret wartime deal shaped the Middle East nearly a century ago, and it still shapes the Middle East today
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Finger food
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The recent spate of London Underground delays have been caused by: A) mechanical failures B) CHUDs C) 'Excessive sunlight'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Now, this little beauty was only driven to church on Sundays. No, really
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Are you a picky eater? Do you want to know why? Well, here comes the science, but you have to push aside the peas to get there
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Do you feel tired for no apparent reason? Congratulations, you may have just had a silent heart attack
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'm the king of the wor
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Coolest elderly Polish couple you'll EVER want to party with ....all night long. That's right, off their dance floor
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Obama awards 13 Public Safety Medals of Valor to some seriously brave officers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 16, 2016
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Virginian conservative running for the U.S. Senate inadvertently exposes himself as an amateur porn enthusiast with safe for work screenshot of his personal computer
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's a good thing Farkers love change
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mexico last week: "We are a safe country...nothing to worry about." Mexico this week: "Acapulco is a war zone"
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
In the U.K., be careful not to expose your tit to the traffic camera (SFW)
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Heavily-armed man suspected of autogodwinning
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Obama praises Finland's heavy metal when meeting with President Sauli Niinistö, saying the best the US has is in Flint, Michigan
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Best Friend)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Elizabethan chums
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
TSA Director Leslie Knope dispatches clowns, Li'l Sebastian to calm down angry travelers at Cincinnati airport
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Just because you don't like the shirt your teen daughter is wearing doesn't mean you need to sacrifice the family poodle in your smoker
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Veteran)
 
 
 
Know any wounded veteran from Afghanistan, Iraq or elsewhere, or are one yourself? Submit candidate for Raytheon No Barriers Warriors, hiking, rafting wilderness expedition in Grand Canyon in October 2016. (LGT details)
source: raytheon.nobarrierswarriors.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Good news everybody, they found Sinead O'Connor. We can go back to not caring where she is
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
La dee dee, one two three / Eric the half a bee... er, goat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
The least true statement ever written: "There needs to be more weed in Florida"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What's the newest hot commodity? Gold? Bitcoin? How about Zimbabwe's 100 Trillion Dollars. Admit it, you read that in Dr. Evil's voice
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Venezuelan President threatens to throw beer manufacturing executives in prison over a shortage of beer. I think this is one time every red-blooded Farker can support him
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC exploring creation of dirt bike park, which is all they could afford for the Batman vs Superman sequel
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"A new study suggests our nation's children would be better off learning about consensual sex from dungeon masters than their awkward gym teachers." Well, that's a lovely idea (sfw)
source: broadly.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Tired of Jesus getting all of the attention? Here is a puddle that looks exactly like the Queen celebrating her long rain
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one. Wildfire forces evacuation of north Alberta town
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Tourists' attempt to save bison calf in Yellowstone results in its death. Facepalm, ironic, dumbass, stupid, and asinine tags all burst into flames
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
First successful U.S. addadictomy performed
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)