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Sun May 15, 2016
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Woman goes to hospital with a shark attached to her arm
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In a bid to stay on the cutting edge of tax evasion, Swiss city now accepts payments in bitcoin
source: thelocal.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Apparently it is illegal to sell your laptop while black. Even if your mom is a well-known TV personality
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Let's all feel sorry for The Edge, who can't develop "Eco-Friendly" mansions on his Malibu land because of greedy environmentalists
source: static.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Oversized, overcrowded, overloaded, overpriced...and soon to be over here
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dirty little hipster
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
The first part of the article is pretty standard "things go wrong for BASE jumpers sometimes." The last paragraph is pure "WTF?"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Italy to pay poor people to have more sex
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
This father/son bonding experience included smoking meth, kidnapping women, tying them up, threatening them with bats and guns, and going to jail. My dad took me fishing
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Me a flasher? No, I've just got balls the size of avocados
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
LA TV viewers freak out about weather gal's skimpy dress: "Put on a damn sweater" So she did
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Is Staten Island crazier than Florida? Hey, I know, let's ask Drew Curtis
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Thanks to the Pentagon and Cthulhu, drones will soon be bursting from secret ocean pods that can be launched at a moment's notice anywhere in the world to cause havoc upon it
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to your local bar
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio Tulsa)
 
 
 
Woman critically injured by cool name for a band
source: publicradiotulsa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
DC Metro chief says system exhibits "negative resilience" which is to say that it's so fragilely brittle that it may come apart at any time and kill again
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PJ Media)
 
 
 
Marjijuana is a hell of a drug
source: pjmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
While swimming in a lagoon in Florida, a 10-year-old boy is bitten in the ankle by an unidentified sea creature. And thus mankind's newest superhero was born
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
If you bring your snake into class for show-and-tell make sure it doesn't turn into hide-and-seek
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Learn to code a social network. Beyond Facebook. What's your favorite less popular social network? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Manchester United cancels match against Bournemouth minutes before kickoff due to "credible security threat." 76,000 spectators evacuated from Old Trafford. Army bomb disposal squad on site conducting controlled explosions
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
"Florida stripper tried to eat her shirt following DUI arrest"
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Werewolves of London? Meh.. there are people in the city of Kingston upon Hull who are being terrorized by an 8-foot werewolf who comes out on the Old Stinker Moon to reek havoc with his foul breath
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Can't get a gun permit? Try driving better
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Man tries to rob car wash with potato chip bag
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this racket yell
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelloGiggles)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: 8th grade dance
source: hellogiggles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
First it was ginger ale. Then it was root beer. And now Big Liquor is trying to corrupt your favorite childhood drinks by figuring out how to spike milk
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Shot officer released from Boston hospital. Apparently there is a height requirement to stay longer [*regional joke detected]
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Teacher of the Year now in the running for Teacher of the Year
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
...and then the moose chimed in
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Mighty Thor arrested for shooting two New Hampshire police officers (with "I am unworthy" pic)
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rescue dog alerts family to dangerous snake near their daughter, then takes the snakebites meant for the daughter. Florida tag takes a backseat for a more proper tag to honor the dog
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Death of an Indian Disco Dancer. Well, it happens a lot around there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Only one person left on Earth born in the 19th century. Party at her place, bring coke and booze
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 14, 2016
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Magnitude 3.0 quake strikes near Gilroy, California, but don't worry, the garlic is safe
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Air show season has begun, and so has air show crash season
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
U.S. Wildlife Service looking to give oil companies a 30 year free pass to kill as many protected species as they wish. Oh wait. Did I say oil companies? Never mind. Carry on
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Finally, Government regulation we can all agree on
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Hello. Yes this is idiot prisoner's stomach (graphic)
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Billy Graham's daughter says God caused the September 11th, 2001 terror attacks because he was angry about Democrats accepting transgender people as equals in the bathroom. Which happened in 2016, not 2001
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
Gunbarrel, Co man who shot another man in the buttocks who confronted him about leaving pounds of peanuts in the park for squirrels as a danger to kids with nut allergies said he does it to commune with the spirits of his dead parents. We good now?
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quick snap
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Canada modestly pleased at being named the second-best country in the world: "Number two is pretty darn good"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Yes, but who polices the police? Oh, random Facebook users. Problem solved. Carry on
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Thank Jeebus, this ultimate nerd fight can be put to rest
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Senior citizen loses possession of £400,000 empty house to squatter, and he now has to sell his apartment to pay his losing legal bills: "The law is an ass. It's like someone getting in your car then saying it's theirs because they're sitting in it"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British transit systems installing stealth cameras to catch passengers putting their feet up on seats. Maybe some other crime if it happens to occur, but mainly feets on seats
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Craigslist ad selling housebroken bison named Bullet raises so many important questions
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What's the thought process here? "Hmm. This package is labeled FRAGILE and about the size of an LP record. I better fold it in half and squeeze it through the mail slot just to be safe"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Police officer working mall security beats the hell out of teenage girl riding bike, charges her with assault. Oops, video. Charges dismissed, cop and mall sued
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this sunbathing session
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eurovision.TV)
 
 
 
Take 5 tons of glitter and sequins, add a drop of political controversy, and a heaping helping of "what the f*ck did I just watch", and you have your 2016 EUROVISION SONG CONTEST THREAD
source: eurovision.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Thousands found dead at brawl at a Moscow cemetery
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Honestly who wouldn't want a slice of NYC pizza named "Ground Zero Deep Dish" after the city's darkest day?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Frightened turtle crashes through woman's windshield. No euphemisms were harmed in the making of this headline
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
ISIS declares "State of Emergency," shifting the threat level advisory from Bert straight to Elmo
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Simple)
 
 
 
The Saturday Book Club is looking for recommendations for the perfect summer novel. The kind you take to the lake or the beach or just a hammock in the backyard for some literary relaxation
source: realsimple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: 5 years of Adobe Cloud - enter to win contest. What's your favorite Adobe product? Is it all downhill after Photoshop? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
If you're a flight attendant, taking home a few mini liquor bottles each day can really add up
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
If you're going to put on your disability application that a workplace accident has left you blind, then you just can not be caught on video: 1) Reading something that isn't in braille; 2) Holding the door open for someone; or 3) Driving a car
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenville Online)
 
 
 
Woman can finally pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a Walmart greeter after winning the lottery
source: greenvilleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Alabama sorority sisters find image for their "spring formal" t-shirts via Google. What could possibly go wrong? "In selecting the T-shirt, we failed to focus on the specific images in the design"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
It's always awkward when you return to your home and find the guy you hired as a petsitter dressed in a women's underwear and using a laptop inside
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quick fix
source: s1.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Iranian judge to prisoner: 'If you're innocent you'll go to heaven after you're hanged'
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Case where an 11-year-old boy shot an 8-year-old girl because she wouldn't let him play with her puppy is immortalized in street graffiti art. "I started to look at the expression on his face and then I just said to myself, 'Oh my God'"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Raccoon tries to make friends with a not so enthusiastic feline just in time for Raccoonerday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Welcome to the garden that wants to kill you
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
What's grosser than gross? Finding rat DNA in your hamburger. What's grosser than that? Also finding human DNA in your hamburger
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Strippers more heavily vetted than Uber drivers
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
After not learning of what might happen when introducing cane toads, red foxes, rabbits, camels, buffaloes, cats and feral pigs, somebody wants to fly 80 South African rhinos to Australia
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 13, 2016
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man hit by car on golf course returns to finish round seven months later
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Four simple rules for not getting shot in Milwaukee
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's your Friday the 13th edition of the Fark Weird News Quiz. No chainsaws included. This time
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For the first time in the history of ever, a story about East Tennessee, redneck vigilantes, and guns shockingly ends with no-one maimed or killed, and a legitimately happy ending
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Newly found archaeological remains prove Florida populated by crazy people, retired Jews for much longer than previously thought
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
66 year old law firm partner/lifeguard wins age discrimination appeal challenging requirement that swim test be taken wearing a Speedo (thankfully, no photos were included in the court's opinion)
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Officers know Walmart is such a regular trouble spot that they routinely show up without being called
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe one step closer to wearing pink underwear
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Twenty years ago, a company skipped installing $9.16 in plastic parts and got charged with 110 counts of manslaughter
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Ducklings on parade can tenderize the toughest heart. Mmm... tenderized Ducklings
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this celebrity selfie time
source: nyppagesix.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to tearing off hijab worn by fellow Southwest Airlines passenger. Had demanded that woman, "Take it off. This is America"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
The flames in Spain fall mainly on the tire dump
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
And they would've gotten away with it, too, If it weren't for that meddling house
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Famous JFK assassination conspiracy theorist dies at 89. Will be buried on a grassy knoll
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7x7)
 
 
 
640 sq. ft. shack on sale for only $1,380,000. "At least it has a lot of charm"
source: 7x7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Citizens you are drinking more than your suggested 14 weekly units of alcohol, please do not exceed 14 weekly units of alcohol
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man gets penis stuck in wrench. Serves him right; those are only supposed to be used on nuts
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The difference between how Japan and the U.S. remember WWII: The Japanese ignore everything before Hiroshima and the Americans ignore everything after Nagasaki
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"How to simulate a terrorist atrocity" Step 1: Have freedoms
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Man wakes up from coma, immediately demands Taco Bell food, has no idea how to use the three seashells
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Hey yo, forget about everything you think is important today, right now New Jersey is torn apart by a Taylor ham vs. pork roll debate in the Legislature for the state's official state sandwich
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"We're sorry our roller coaster broke down while you were riding it, stranding you in terror for hours hundreds of feet over the earth. So here's a free coupon to ride it again"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Remember, you have to bolt Jesus Christ to the cross, or he may get down and start stabbing people
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New game show will be sort of like The Voice or American Idol--but for amateur porn performers. Hey, not everybody has a good singing voice (Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop a modern use for this classic building
source: rutheh.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Hacked highway sign informs drivers: FREE HOOKERS AHEAD
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
'Free Hugs' Guy arrested on charges of assault, false advertising
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Caption this curmudgeon
source: i1200.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Facebook is now more popular than the Bible, still has fewer trending conservative articles as well
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Press)
 
 
 
Oops, Russian air force accidentally blows up Iranian forces in Syria... but it's the article's cartoon that really says it all
source: jewishpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Archaeologists find 50,000 year-old axe. No word if it still reeks of teenage desperation and gyms
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDTN Dayton)
 
 
 
Kentucky, Indiana, Pennsylvania and Michigan have no limits on the alcohol content of craft beers. Ohio hopes to join them
source: wdtn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
A timeline of George Zimmerman's bizarre life after killing Trayvon Martin
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Senators want airlines to waive baggage fees to ease TSA delays. Which at least gave everyone at the airlines and in Congress a pretty good laugh
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CSO Online)
 
 
 
FDIC says instances of departing employees walking out with thumb drives containing personal banking information on 160,000 U.S. residents were 'inadvertent' data breaches -- except in one case
source: csoonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
US criticizes Romania for minting coin with image of antisemitic banker, slightly impressed they found one
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Egypt in denial. Circular joke reference collapses into singularity
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Get your fainting couch ready - there are separate rules for police and speed cameras
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
6 simple rules to ruin your prom
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Pope to wave his dick at Turkey
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Guy with OCD tries to squeeze as many miles as he can out of every gallon of gas during his commute (pics)
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Not a great day for those with friggatriskaidekaphobia - of course not to be confused with kjahfjkajklhfbalsfbaphobia which is the irrational fear of falling asleep on your keyboard
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Burglary ring used Grindr to make dates and lure them out of their homes so they could be robbed, proving the app really can help you get screwed
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Careless welder causes massive dinosaur extinction
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The last American born in the 19th century has finally died
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Weedlord Bonerhitler, Racist McShootface drive Zimmerman gun to $65 million
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hammerhead shark dies after fisherman who caught it left it out of the water for too long; he needed to get more selfies with it
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: iFixit 64 Bit Driver Kit. Screwdrivers of all shapes and sizes to take your electronics apart and get to the cool parts. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
News: Joe's Crab Shack tries to get rid of tipping. Not news: It doesn't work. Fark: There was also this Greenwich Village restaurant named "Fedora"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Isn't love grand when wife testifies in court her husband didn't really mean to walk up to her vehicle, try to shoot her in head as she picked up daughter from work in hospital parking lot?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop anything into this simple scenery
source: img15.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
This 8-year-old girl is the youngest person ever to be diagnosed with breast cancer, and now she is in remission. Is it dusty in here or what?
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
England is converting its iconic red phone boxes into mini-offices where you can check email, get some coffee, scan pictures, or change into your superhero costume
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Fisting site members didn't sign up for this kind of backdoor access
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Oh God, Yes
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah man, we're like, totally going to build that homeless shelter. Right after the pizza guy gets here
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
White barber explains to customer he "does not cut black hair," pulls out gun to make his point. Good thing customer wasn't ginger
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
86-year-old shares one last insult from beyond the grave. (Warning: strong language)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rancher finds first wolverine in North Dakota in 150 years, promptly kills it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Government tells partially paralyzed man with part of his head missing he is fit for work. Ironically, he's probably over-qualified for a government position
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
25 years after the USSR ended, Lenin's biggest problem is that nobody cares about mausoleum science. The enbalmed corpses of Ho Chi Minh, Georgi Dminitrov, Stalin, Kim Il-sung, and Kim Jong-Il shiver with fear, because it sure beats thawing out
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Military women demonstrate their commitment to the infantry
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Queerty)
 
 
 
Today's rabidly anti-gay pastor being charged with 70 counts of kiddie porn comes to you compliments of Arkansas
source: queerty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Police Chief convicted for contempt of court and ordered to undergo liability training. Why? For investigating whether officers lied to protect one of their own who paralyzed an Indian grandfather
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un gifts best Fark users with photoshop gold
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Ass" - the odds-on favorite to win best picture (not safe for work)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(640K of ram)
 
 
 
Collection of famous last words in underestimating the competitor. "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in 2007, speaking to the USA Today. "No chance"
source: cbinsights.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Did you check a bag on a flight from Phoenix yesterday? Say goodbye to it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 12, 2016
(Time)
 
 
 
The prayers of every F5 key in America have been answered, as you can now track your UPS package on a map in real time. Your move, FedEx
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The ultimate guide to deep-fried British food, "undeniably one of the most joyful parts of Britain's cookery landscape." Everyone knows fish & chips and the Mars bar, but have you sampled the squibs or chipshakes?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Magazine)
 
 
 
Columbia University shuts down "restaurant" run by foodie student who used common kitchen as his culinary laboratory, served paying customers eight-course meals out of his shared dorm room
source: bostonmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Blindfold Mowing Olympics. Only in Detroit. "Hold my Strohs and watch this"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If drunk college student had played more GTA he would have known stealing an ambulance is fun for a second but they can't handle for crap
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
And as if by magic, the penis that was up for auction, then wasn't is now back up for auction. Bonus round: Auction site is run by a guy who teaches CCW classes at a church
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Virginian-Pilot)
 
 
 
Girl born with no hands wins handwriting contest. Gives hope to all aspiring one-legged buttkickers
source: pilotonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
World's largest cargo plane to take flight to Australia, presumably to pick up kangaroos. ALL of the kangaroos
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Michigan high school lacrosse team sacrifice guinea pig and paint their faces with its blood. Well? Did they win?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Unsuccessful Ben & Jerry's flavors (with handy blank pint to get you started)
source: s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
'Don't talk to me like I'm a slave': Minneapolis Parks Board meeting gets awkward
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Farked up: Man goes swimming following domestic disturbance. Florida: Ignores the 'Do Not Feed the Gators' signs
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Head of Vatican Bank says it is now impossible to launder money through the bank, totally don't send your billions through the bank expecting it to go undetected, don't even try, it won't work, don't do, please don't try it, no chance, just don't
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
You can't afford your $20.30 restaurant bill, so you A) beg the manager to overlook it this time, B) offer to work it off, or C) call 911 and report an armed robbery
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Um, could everyone who read the news story about the woman's torso found behind a butcher's shop please forget the news story about the woman's torso found behind a butcher's shop? We appreciate your cooperation
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Cab driver doesn't read the fine print in the contract where he works where it says one must be wearing pants when driving for them and picking up female passengers
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Car burglar scratches "I stole your S***" on side of car. Fark: It was $5 in loose change
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The nice thing about investigating a mass murder in Ohio is that you can tow the crime scenes back to the lab
source: content.govdelivery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Simple)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: It's time to return to the great outdoors. Have good campfire recipes and must-have food when you're out away from Fark? Share to the right
source: realsimple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner tries to serve the freshest possible pork chops by butchering a hog in the parking lot (slightly graphic pics)
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
It's always possible that this woman is just a huge fan of the cult comedy Surf Ninjas
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Bear bites hiker in the Smokies. Thankfully it wasn't in the 'Lil' Smokies'
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What happens when a creationist tries to debunk science using science? Pretty much exactly what you think
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Unusual number" of humpback whales seen in San Francisco Bay. Starship Enterprise crew wanted for questioning
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Zimmerman has penis pulled and isn't happy about it
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dousing
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
'Gingerbread man' taunts police while fleeing, apparently not understanding how fast police will run after an escaping pastry
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Seattle City Light 1, Seattle raccoons 38778
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"Can you hear me now? Yes? Well, I'm locked in a vault"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
...and now for the first time in two years, climbers have reached the top of Mount Everest
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyPolitics.org)
 
 
 
Drew talks about Facebook trending, news aggregation, and how a website could manipulate the system to fix elections. (Link goes to commercial-free raw audio)
source: indypolitics.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Catholic Reporter)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to start a focus group to discuss female priesthood
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russia furious that the US activated an anti-ballistic missile system installed in Romania. Not that Russia had any actual plans to nuke Romania or anything, it was just kinda nice to know the option was always there
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Want to sue the Chinese company that manufactured the dog food that poisoned your pup or the dry wall that sickened your kids? Sorry, since they are partially state-owned, they are claiming "sovereign immunity" in U.S. courts, and it's working
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Rodrigo "Donald Trump" Duterte, the newly elected genocidal president of the Philippines, wants to personally apologize to the Pope for calling him a "son of a biatch." But not for all the death squads and whatnot; he'll pardon himself for those
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
MH370: Never forget. At least CNN hasn't
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Well, it's official: babies are little monsters who will put anything in their mouths just to mess with you
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Come on, people, stop throwing bleach on the Great Barrier Reef
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering what happened to the Fort McMurray beer-loving pig, fear not he has been found safe and sound
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Beware graffiti artists, China is watching you when you are on Mount Everest
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man admits a roadside shooting in Idaho has something in common with the Jerry Springer Show and pro wrestling
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Congress approves Arlington burials for Pistol Packin' Mamas
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Former FDA head says that the opioid epidemic is one of the "great mistakes of modern medicine", just after the advent of the HMO, the Veterans Administration and Dr. Oz
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know you were a good teacher when your letter against too much testing that you wrote to your students seventeen years ago is still being read reverently in the classroom today. "The scorers don't know you. And there are many ways of being smart"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Accidentally had sex with one of my friends while we were in London recently. We are still having sex even though our other friends have no idea. I think I may be falling in love with her. What's the best way to tell our friends?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
Security guard in Florida accidentally shot himself in the leg while waiting for a job interview. Or as it's called in Florida, "on the job training"
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Pay What You Want: Microsoft Office training. Excel, Word, Power Point, Access, Outlook - learn the tools and full functionality for each program. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this public address
source: p2cdn4static.sharpschool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Because nothing instills self-esteem in a young teen girl quite like taking her to a salon so she can get all that ugly, disgusting, boy-repelling peach fuzz removed from her arms. "You want to give them every opportunity to feel confident"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman to auction off his penis
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cat stuck in a tree. New hotness: Woman stuck in a tree
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PayPal)
 
 
 
It doesn't matter whether we know them personally, or what we think of how this happened, or how many miles separate us - there are people and pets who NEED us. Please donate to the Alberta Fires Appeal. The Province is matching donations. DIT
source: paypal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly through the windshield of a transit bus
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Wildfire that started in Mexico has now crossed over into the US. This kind of thing won't happen once Trump is president
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Billboard companies are rejecting an atheist group advertisement mocking a Noah's Ark themed amusement park as "Genocide and Incest Park: Celebrating 2,000 years of myths"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
When you're whining to a tow truck driver about how he should do his job, then post a negative review on their Facebook page, prepare to be called a "retarded piece of shiat" by the company's owner
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Colorado city's social media exercise fails massively by accidentally tweeting to the public about the fake train carrying toxic chemicals that didn't crash into the school
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Harvardian)
 
 
 
Shut. Down. Olympic. Everything. Okay, we know we can't do that, but could we at least not bring 500,000 hosts into the hot zone and disperse them around the planet two weeks later?
source: harvardpublichealthreview.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
FBI director blames rise in violent crime on cell phone owners because police are too scared to catch criminals because they might end up on a viral video
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Prisoners in North Korean labor camps are forced to wear diapers as they work because they are denied bathroom breaks. Oh, my bad, that should say "Workers in U.S. poultry plants" at the beginning
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Should Martians have equal rights? Well, maybe, but keep them out of our bathrooms
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNY Central)
 
 
 
Crappiest way to get high EVER
source: cnycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Drew Curtis seen licking road at scene of horrific accident
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The best argument for increasing support to families with severely disabled children that you'll ever read
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 575: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 11" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 11, 2016
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"Well, this is your problem right here"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
"Watts then locked himself in the bathroom and screamed and pounded on the door. He also demanded hugs from flight attendants"
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
HERPDEDERPDEDERPDE *bluescreenofdeath* BLALALALALAGALLLL mlem
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
To be honest, though, who could have imagined having cement and tire sealer injected into your face would turn out to be a bad idea?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Kennel Club)
 
 
 
Russian police are training corgis for law enforcement work- beyond bounty hunting, that is
source: akc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Meet Suzy and Joe. She's a free-spirited sexagenarian who questioned authority and owned a jazz club in old Detroit. He's a free-thinking creative entrepreneur looking to people like himself to help revive Detroit. How will these two EVER get along?
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Commander Riker found too crazy to stand trial
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Otisburg?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Man refuses to stick penis in crazy, ends poorly
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida woman beats Florida man for buying the wrong flowers for Mother's Day ... Wait, that means there's a Florida kid out there somewhere
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Guess who just took credit for Budweiser's panderrific name-change? Hint: He thinks the new cans are gonna be YOOOODGE
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
As it turns out, sometimes PETA is good at trolling
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Volunteers battle to save baby whale stranded on Spanish beach, fighting heat, tides and constant "I'm an American Citizen" complaints
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Windy Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cloud somewhere useful
source: clipartbest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Well bye
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
Happy 11th birthday LEEEERRRROOOOY JEEEEEENNNNKINSSSS
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Comcast pays founder's widow $326 million dollars. She can expect payment sometime between 9 AM and 6 PM next Thursday
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Once again, school administrators overreact to harmless senior prank and... wait, what the hell is wrong with these kids?
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Article asks "Is Nirvana through meditation actually possible?". Subby prefers vinyl
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man's toilet doesn't work, so he dumps sh*t in front yard hole, you know, like you do
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Yes. Let's smuggle $3 million in heroin and opium through our luggage at O'Hare Airport. NO ONE WILL EVER CATCH US
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Maybe News: Man wins $1 million from the lottery. Fark: For the second time in his life
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salisbury Post)
 
 
 
According to a N.C. school board, kids should be allowed to carry pepper spray in case they encounter trans people in the bathroom. This should end well
source: salisburypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
So THAT'S why the prisoners keep asking for the meatloaf
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
30-year-old Siamese cat named world's oldest living cat, still needs 8 more years to claw his way up to the all-time record
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Re-calculating
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Cop goes on wild goose chase
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth. Normally this would not be news, but there are 70 reasons why it is
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy ray
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you don't want to be arrested for child pornography, maybe you should choose a different Twitter handle than 'NoVa Creeper'
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Pastor says gorgeous women in his church can't find dates because all the men are losers playing video games and are possessed by a retarded spirit
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Anti-drunk driving lawyer arrested for felony irony in a Lamborghini
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
ATF releases findings on 2013 West, Texas fertilizer plant explosion. To quote the Beastie Boys, "Listen all of y'all it's a sabotage"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Five terror suspects caught after they were seen trying to pull a King Arthur move from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Boy explains he shone laser pen at police helicopter after his PlayStation stopped working. Seems reasonable
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Parky McParkFace
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Wait. Swaddling is dangerous again?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Beer and cookies? Well, hello, let's just give it a try
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Trigger warnings for Oxford law students 'distressed' by discussing crime in criminal law class
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Twitter passes note to flight attendant
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The queen confirms stereotype of Chinese politicians, but China takes it in stride. Just kidding
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Newlyweds contact wedding guest in order to let her know that her gift was not big enough and the couple was insulted
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
What do you get when you cross rodeo, Pavarotti and the Playboy mansion?
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It happens; you forget a suitcase on the side of the road. Then all of London goes into a panic, thinking it's a bomb left by ISIS
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember the 15-year-old who discovered an ancient Mayan city without leaving his bedroom? Well, new information leaves his findings in ruins
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Colorado students attend first pot-focused education course. Which is the first time "pot" and "focused" have ever been used in the same sentence
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to this fark thread, we've got books and things, we can read to you what we want, and we're a little insane. We've got an anthology in the works, a book fair for the masses, authors galore. So welcome, welcome to the Fark Writer's thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Master chef fires general manager daughter after customers insulted on their bill. The extremely rare My Dad Owns This Restaurant But I Got Fired Anyway trifecta is now in play
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Here is someone new to sue now. Will GOOG choose to sue Sue Googe now? Or will Google see the Seussing of the Sue Googe? Suessers do, sirs. Mix the fonts, Sue? I won't do it. I can't say it, I won't sue it
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Man accused of vandalizing ex's car, being bad at spelling
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Ceiling snake is no longer watching you recuperate
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: MD3 3-D Printer and filament spools. Reviewers say it's adorable, tiny, inexpensive, quiet -- with decent software and acceptable quality printing -- but painfully slow. Sounds like my _________. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this waiter
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Just an FYI, this never ends well. Trust me," said the Middle East with a sad shake of its turbaned head
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
New Zealand officials: Stay away from Mount Doom
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
First negligence lawsuit filed against Denver marijuana edibles company and its retailer for failing to warn man that edibles might make him want to murder his wife, and improve his aim
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Judge on social media says the gang-rape of babies, girls and women was seen as a "pleasurable" pastime and that rape was part of the culture of black men. Some people have a problem with it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Massive fire at Arizona waterpark. It's like rain on your wedding day
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Do you want wolves? Cause that's how you get wolves
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Anti-drug activists predicted that legalizing weed would lead to huge increases in crime, car crashes and children going mad. None of that happened of course - but there is one big problem in the city of Denver: the stench of high-grade weed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun stops bad guy with a knife at a Massachusetts shopping mall
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 10, 2016
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Tora, Japan's oldest harbor seal, dies at age 46 (over 100 in human years). Pour a bukket out for her homies
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Still think global warming is a hoax? Here are some inconvenient infographics for you to ignore
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Pilot decides to ignore the rules and allows Fort McMurray evacuees to board his plane with their pets. Bonus picture of stoic hedgehog included
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The attacker suffered from 'psychiatric issues', so this is totally not a terrorist attack
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
NASA's big announcement from today? The Kepler mission has now verified 1,284 new planets - the single largest finding of planets to date
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Yesterday's news: The sheriff is racist for arresting black teen for sexting. Today's news: Sheriff calls report deceitful because white teen was also arrested. Tomorrow's news: TV station hiring brand new news department
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Put the eagle on the yak, we are heading South this year to see your mom
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man's attempt to stop car thieves by jumping on hood doesn't end well
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Latey McLateface
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(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
For Sale: 1981 liver-brown C3 Corvette covered in swastikas - a steal at $45,000
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The NY Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this place of worship
source: thenypost.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Kids deliver inflatable castle to wrong address. Homeowner wishes they would bounce
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
( ° ʖ °) ( ° ʖ °) ( ° ʖ °) ( ° ʖ °)
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man commits arm assault against police officer by hitting him over the head with it
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fine Young Cannibal
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Pitchie la vache
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"Faith-based" mental health "treatment center" convinces Iowa man he doesn't need all those anti-depressants and anti-psychotics he was prescribed, all he really needed was Jesus and vitamins. Suicide-attempt-larity ensues
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin.com)
 
 
 
One dead, three injured after men cut in line at Austin taco trailer
source: austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Animal sacrifice before a high-school game would seem to be more of a Florida thing than a Michigan one, but here we are
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen (Ortonville))
 
 
 
"Why yes indeed I believe Jesus pooped"
source: thecitizenonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Air traveler lets her fingers do the walking, and the feds are now involved
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The United Methodist Church gets a tad less united as more than a hundred of its clergy come out as LGBT in defiance of church law
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
A day in the life of an F-35 pilot... 1000, get ready to start the jet. 1200, after two system recycles, and a complete reboot, get it started. Turn around, land, and reset the computer that won't talk to weapons. This happens 30% of the time
source: marinecorpstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The White House really wants you to know that the president isn't going to apologize for dropping the bomb on Japan
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man ordered to remove 'VI6SIX' license plate
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline of the day: "NZ backpackers regret sex on the beach after painful crab incident"
source: eastasiatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Texas dating site promises to hook U.S. citizens up with Canadians in the event of a Trump presidency. Difficulty: Lena Dunham
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Tourists exposed to Florida wild life
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q104.3 New York)
 
 
 
Prince died for Steven Tyler's sins
source: q1043.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this heavy dinner
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Golf course groundskeeper receives John Deere letter
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Mistake: Invading another's privacy; Major Fark-Up: Voyeurism, secretly recorded a teenager; Florida: Professor and Chair of UF's religion department
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This just in, Franco is still dead....we hope
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Ever wonder how much hipsters spend on food? Me neither, but here it is anyway
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
While Putin is buzzing our ships with puny little fighter craft, Obama is buzzing fake Chinese islands with 9,200-ton destroyers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Another contestant for Best Newspaper Correction Ever. And this may be The One
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Would you like 2.5 acres of free land in glorious Mother Russia? It is the most opulent tundra available
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
While your retirement fund was eeking out a few percentage points, 2015's top Hedge Fund Managers were making close to $1B each to play roulette with your money
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
FL DOT has spent millions installing traffic cameras, even making them viewable on the internet. Florida: They can't record
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: HDR Projects 4 Pro software. Create 82 versions of your photo automatically and edit from there. For those of us needing more fuel for our OCD. (Sponsored Link)
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(CBS New York)
 
 
 
NYC Port Authority to TSA : "Get the airport lines moving quicker, or you're fired"
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Flame-eating topless clown sues the NYPD for wrecking her circus career ....because reasons (Not safe for work)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
South Carolina man granted bail after claiming "Stand Your Ground" defense after killing a taxi driver and his friend after he tried to skip a fare. Oh, and he also burned the bodies and buried them in his backyard
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dude, I think I had way too much America last night
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Doctor sentenced for prescribing 81,000 Oxycontin pills, unfortunately none of them to Bieber
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patriot Ledger)
 
 
 
An argument over an online goat video leads to stabbing
source: patriotledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
BER na ner NERT ner. BER na ner NERT ner. Ber na NER na NER na NER na NER. Ber na NER na NER na NER na NER. BER berna berna BER na NER... Blang-ablang BLANG blang
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Amazing new dataset shows what is most likely to eventually kill you, broken down by age
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
[Fark handle withheld to protect the guilty]
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Xinhua)
 
 
 
Scientists debunk theory that massive killer walruses once waddled the earth. Here comes the Pelagiarctos
source: news.xinhuanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Selfies give you lice
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When getting revenge on somebody by trashing their home, make sure it is in fact, your target's home
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canadian Business)
 
 
 
Hate your job? Survey finds everyone else does too
source: canadianbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Firefighters rescue three college girls in rowboat who left with no life jackets in rough seas. Still searching for little man
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"A $15,000 reward is being offered for details leading to the arrest and conviction of three rednecks who went on a drunken rampage involving gunfire, vomiting, skinny dipping and the death of a tiny endangered fish in Death Valley National Park"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this celebration
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you don't call in 10 days or more, the life saving is on us
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando City Council votes 4-3 in favor of decriminalizing marijuana up to 20 grams, ensuring steady supply of Florida-tagged Fark headlines
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
From NS Sherlock Monthly: new study reveals that Americans are a bunch of uptight religious kooks, especially when compared to the rest of the world
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Get your dog to heel and you're a good owner. Get your dog to Sieg Heil and you get arrested
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Well, the fish egg potato chips seem to have worked, so why not try squid gut potato chips?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Priceonomics)
 
 
 
Breakfast started off as a simple plan to stop people from fapping until greedy businessmen muscled in on the action and strong-armed the profits away. No word on which arm they used
source: priceonomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Where are the rest of the Panama Papers? Here's a database of 200,000 shell companies. It's been sanitized because we're still polite enough to play by the Marquess of Queensberry rules. Do you really want the gloves to come off?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blunt)
 
 
 
The latest fad in Facebook trolling? Posting announcements for fake concerts and having LOLZ at the morans who actually show up. Really, who would turn down the chance to see Metallica with Sum41 at a local Sonic drive in
source: bluntmag.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You can now cure your migraines by letting science taser your brain constantly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Luis Obispo Tribune)
 
 
 
"80-year-old lovebirds tie the knot" - well, yeah, when your body parts are that droopy, they are easy to get entangled
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
That's not a toaster. THIS is a toaster
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Probably the first obituary ever to feature the phrase "exotic lotions and inflatable partners (puncture repair kit extra)"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Godwinned in the boobies
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is why you don't order Chinese replacement tires for your A-380 on eBay
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 09, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Indian restaurant owner accused of killing customer with curry. That's nuts
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Man goes to prison for making alcoholic beverages infused with exotic animals - When wheat and grapes just won't do, reach for a Lionbraw
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
11-year-old receives unauthorized "haircut" at carnival
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plant on the phone
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
NEWS: Man shoots himself while cleaning gun. FARK: Doesn't notice the new hole in his body until he changes his shirt. FLORIDA TAG: Two days later
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War and Peace Reporting)