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Sun April 17, 2016
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Great news: Gas to stay cheap because Saudi Arabia and Iran hate each other more than they love money
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Man shot to death during memorial. Just you wait til next year's memorials
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Today is the 10th anniversary of the greatest Fark thread of all time (LGT original thread)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
They bring a water gun, you bring a revolver. It's the Texas way
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Improve Australia's new $5 note
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A disappointingly SFW history of underwear, still no explanation for magic underoos
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
New investigation conducted by The Ric Romero Institution for Journalism Institute discovers the majority of teachers in one state who receive bonuses teach in affluent areas
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Top scientist says that with all of the recent large earthquakes around the ring of fire "Current conditions might trigger at least four earthquakes greater than 8.0 in magnitude." Sleep well my friends
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
I'll see your "zookeeper makes a mistake and gets killed by tiger story" and raise you a "dumbass drops a hat in the tiger enclosure; goes in after it without getting hurt" story. Darwin, you're just phoning it in, man
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Seems you can't stick a shovel in the ground anywhere in Great Britain without turning up something
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This is why we can't have nice things: Drone hits passenger airliner landing at Heathrow
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this presidential playroom
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
To mark the 30th anniversary of Chernobyl, here's a walking tour of the Exclusion Zone
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Here are three of the most effective ways to tell the IRS that you would like to be audited this year
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Vast majority" distrust the news media, claims untrustworthy media article
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
North Korea's new shipment of fireworks has arrived
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
There's evil and then there's threatening to kill a kitten to extort $20 evil
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: E-learning Advanced Cloud Computing for Amazon Web Services. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
You know you've been drinking too much when you think it's a good idea to brew beer that tastes like hummus, oysters, or beard
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Boaty McBoatface it is, then
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Famous 'Inverted Jenny' postage stamp resurfaces 61 years after it was stolen. Entire American Philatelic Society turned upside down
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Treasury Secretary Jack Lew to make minor announcement this week that will in no way be any cause for news coverage or political commentary. Just another day at the office
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Senior senior prom
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GMX (Austria))
 
 
 
Photoshop this expert diver
source: i2.gmx.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Battles with confidence
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
Gay pride
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
What's worse than your baby having brain cancer? Getting the news your baby may also have been exposed to measles while at the hospital
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Sloth bear attacks woman in Maan forest. No this isn't about bachelorette parties and gay bars
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Founder of Hickory Farms, who sold it for $40 million and then devoted himself to starting an adoption agency and service dog school, goes off to the great cheese log in the sky
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Another Saturday night, another Livingston Stapler Company Presents show. Live from Juneau, Alaska, 2 or more hours of music. You know, for your ears. LGT stream
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 16, 2016
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Mind you, Rhinoceros bites can be pretty nasty
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Massive quake strikes Ecuador. Magnitude updated to 7.8
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(107.5 The River)
 
 
 
Where should we leave the baby during the strip club audition? Hot car in the sun? Yup. Let's go with that
source: 1075theriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cheaper by the dozen?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gentle man
source: s2.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
The Branch Dildonian road show headed to Las Vegas, featuring refusals to enter pleas, offering a pocket constitution to the prosecutors, and Ammon's Oregon lawyer getting thrown out of court for using a cell phone
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Convicted sex offender dentist wants to work at Family Dentistry practice. And why not, since Missouri was kind enough to renew his license while he was in prison
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Dropping oil prices have helped return North Dakota to its previous state of being a desolate wasteland devoid of civilization, habitable land, or hope for the future. Raider and deathclaw attacks are said to be on the rise as well
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sotheby's)
 
 
 
Bing Crosby's Rancho Mirage estate complete with 6700 sq ft cottage is up for sale. If you had $5million, you'd be signing the papers right now
source: sothebysrealty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this public stunt
source: s2.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Day of the Walking Red
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Venezuela hopes to avert a massive energy crisis by setting their clocks forward half an hour
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Good luck with that
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
That sweet deal that you got on your new house may be because it used to be a meth lab, which the seller didn't tell you about. Enjoy spending $30k to clean it up
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Newspaper reporter rated the worst job in America. Just think how the reporter covering THAT story must have felt
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
As much as I hate variations on already perfect foods, I think I know what I'm making this weekend to go with beer and playoffs
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
After polluting your body by smoking all that crap and drinking all those cold ones last night rejoice in the fact that once again pouring yourself a warm one of coffee will redeem your self-worth in life
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Apparently spring has not come for Colorado, as they may be getting up to four feet of snow in this mid-April storm
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Piñata for adults - with candy and tiny bottles of liquor. Just in time for Cinco de Mayo. This totally makes up for all the birthdays that my mom couldn't find a piñata like they had on Sesame Street. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FindLaw)
 
 
 
Proving that he belongs in law school, 68-year-old man sues UConn, the only school of the 11 he applied to that rejected him
source: blogs.findlaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
UC Berkeley student whose family fled Iraq in 2002 after his diplomat father was killed on orders from Saddam Hussein for being pro-American was kicked off a flight for saying "God willing" in Arabic
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania set to become the 24th state to legalize medical marijuana on Sunday. And because this is Pennsylvania, no, you can't smoke it
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man attempts to get to Bermuda by hamster wheel. Bermuda Triangle comments, "c'mon guys, you're making this too easy"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cougar caught prowling through LA high school. Nice
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Your own EVIL lair on a private Scottish island with a helipad for launching your evilness on the world for only €1.2million. Take my MUHAHAHAHA gazillians
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"Vodka doesn't necessarily make bad cocktails, but every bad cocktail has vodka in it"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this natural development
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
And at 26 years and 21 days, Tammy the cat has seen more than 1352 Caturdays and she is not ready to stop counting yet either
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You know you love Taco Bell when your senior photo is a picture of you lying next to a Doritos Locos tacos on some train tracks while surrounded by hot sauce packets. "I go there, like, every week"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Being a cop is hard. If it's not the bad guys going after you, it's the swans
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You know what pairs really well with popcorn? Coffee
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
How do you save America's endangered black-footed ferrets? Obviously, it involves deploying UAVs to carpet-bomb Montana prairie dog colonies with peanut butter-flavored plague vaccine bomlets
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Palm Beach Zoo has an immediate opening for tiger keeper
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Michigan county discovers it can make good money off overdue library books
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 15, 2016
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Smoking kills. Vaping blinds
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Tried to kill yourself? That will be $155 fine
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
People who live in glass house want $3.99 million for it
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
FedEx worker in Memphis falls asleep while loading plane, ends up in Lubbock, Texas
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Philly porcupine fathers two ugly-ass porcupettes with two different baby mamas, can't be bothered to name them (w/ pics & vid)
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A pizza box that turns into a pot pipe? What a country
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Do you have any driving superstitions? Subby will always only run 2 yellow lights and then will stop at the third
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
They don't have a huge rat problem in London, they have a super-sized huge rat problem which grows by the day because of cannibalism
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
FDA to allow you to frolic in acid to prevent birth defects . . . wait allow folic acid? Never mind
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Yo quiero black tar heroin
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dude standing
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CI News Now Peoria)
 
 
 
Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies. And tow away your wrecked truck
source: cinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Marines send a squadron of EA-6B Prowlers to interrupt ISIS communications and frustrate users. Operation T-Mobile has begun
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Apparently, when you're nearing your centennial birthday, the only times people cheer for you is when you make a hole-in-one or drop dead on the golf course
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
London Tube's 'Mind the gap' announcer Phil Sayer dies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cue Michael Palin: "And now four tired undertakers"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Mass grave discovered may hold remains of those who died during the Cylon Conspiracy. I knew we shouldn't have trusted Anders to fly those ships into the sun
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"I didn't kill that girl in 1957. Let me out." "Um... okay"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"The Coastguard Rescue Team would like to remind the public that a fridge freezer is completely unsuitable for setting out to sea in"
source: ybw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"It's the worst f-ing job in the world," says someone who isn't an elephant proctologist
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
"I know what I'll do to protest the 'injustice' of society..... I'll hang myself over an overpass. BRILLIANT"
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So, I'm having a life crisis. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Matt Worley from Nashville publicly shamed by major city's largest newspaper
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Good news people of Mississippi, you can now bring your guns to church to protect the baby Jesus
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cowboy who is outstanding in his field
source: aphotoeditor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Court News UK)
 
 
 
"Jurors laughed when they heard the detail of the case and were told to get over their giggling fits"
source: courtnewsuk.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
Americans spend $30 billion a year on take-out pizza. How to make really good pizza at home to the left, arguments about Chicago's greatest shortcoming to the right
source: hereandnow.wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Let's allow texting during movies in our theatres." WellThatEscalatedQuickly.jpg "I mean, let's ban texting altogether in our theatres"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Seven useful tax write-offs for Farkers, including pot, breast implants, and ostrich depreciation
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
CrossFit coach scales side of highway to rescue family after crash - OK, this is the one time we'll listen to someone ramble on about CrossFit
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
With the sea seemingly in retreat, Best Korea attempts to launch assault on its other arch nemesis, the sky. As you might imagine, things did not go according to plan
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, here's an article that contains the phrase "Ziploc bags full of frozen spiders"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Text-to-911 service goes live in Wayne County, allowing anyone who needs help to inform authorities that they're being shot at by a man with a gnu
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
Athens, Georgia: historic home of major university, a vibrant Indie music scene, and a dudebro who used fart spray in a crowded bar
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Kyushu island 7.0 tsunami warning of the day cancelled
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Beer yoga
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
The National Review attempted to launch a coordinated Twitter strike on Ted Cruz's old college roommate. Naturally, he bested them
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Most Utah headline you'll read today: After 'Sister Wives' ruling, a new push for the legislature to decriminalize polygamy
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Trump hasn't been eligible to vote in a Republican primary for 20 years. Before that, he just didn't bother showing up
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You had me at Pokemon Pikachu lingerie line (pics)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Soon your newborn will be tested for APGAR and gang affiliation
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Yes, gentlemen, the reason no one else is wandering around Florida swamps fighting off crocodiles and venomous snakes is because they don't have the guts to look for the elusive Skunk Ape
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cue Yakety Sax
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What shape is your butt?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Florida prosecutor insists that he dropped assault charges against Trump's campaign manager based "purely on the facts," including facts like, whoa, Trump's got a lot of money and, holy shiat, his supporters are farking nutjobs
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Want to work at Ken Ham's Noah's Ark Park? Well, A) What the fark is wrong with you, and B) You've got to sign a pledge that you're a Christian
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Giant sinkhole opens up in front yard of Des Moines, Iowa home. Makes sense that hell would be underneath Iowa
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Accounting Today)
 
 
 
Many large U.S. corporations paid zero federal income taxes. Next up - the revelation that all they care about is profits, pleasing their investors, and have no concern about the quality of the products they make
source: accountingtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"It is an insult to octopuses to continually compare them to humans"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Czech policeman goes to the top of the leaderboard for "Most parked cars hit while driving drunk"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Owl trained to deliver wedding rings crashes headfirst into church window. That's what Harry Potter gets for using Errol instead of Pigwidgeon; of course, Hedwig is dead
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So what would happen if we just started paying poor people for being poor? You know, made it their actual job? We're about to find out
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
'Sodomite slayer' pastor claims God will make flames shoot out of gay men's buttholes
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Christians "tip" waitress with Bible passage calling for her death. You know, just like Jesus would have
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Cyber Security Hacker Training. My voice is my passport. Verify me. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
"My husband said, 'look, we've got a visitor' and there he was walking into the house through the garage"
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog day afternoon
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago Alderman says leave urban coyotes alone, let them take care of the rats
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
'Napalm Girl' was haunted by the image of herself and the Vietnam War for years, but now embraces it
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
ChaCha causes hoo hah
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Scientists say wine o'clock is a real thing and not just the hour when subby starts submitting headlines to Fark
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A freakish water hole in Portugal looks like Cthulhu's bunghole from the air
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Man creates website using "digital monkeys with typewriters" to attempt to publish every possible patent to kill patent trolls
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You know all those "farm to table" restaurants that hipster foodies can't pedal their single speeds fast enough to get to? Well, "Many of those local greens misted with unicorn tears are something else entirely"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
This headline will, in part, cost pepper-spraying University of California, Davis $175k
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Woman is allergic to her own sweat and tears. No word on blood
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
You know those high-powered hand-dryers in the bathrooms from Dyson that blow dry your hands so well? Well they actually suck because they spread 60 times more germs than standard ones
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Czech Republic is tired of you confusing them with other countries, decides they want a new, hipper, totally different name that will change all that. All hail Czechia
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Anti-Media)
 
 
 
Saudis and Israelis working together, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
source: theantimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 14, 2016
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Big gators have smaller gators, in their jaws to dine on them, and those gators have smaller gators, and so on, ad infinitum
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Arrested for what? Eating mulch? I'm sorry, I thought this was America
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
19-year-old woman faces child porn and accessory charges for live streaming the rape of her 17-year-old friend by her 29-year-old boyfriend. "Friend" may not be the right word to describe that relationship. Or "boyfriend"
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
What what in the butt? Zika, zika in the butt
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Only your one true love would tell you to get back into the truck. So you could keep inhaling the carbon monoxide so you can finally commit that suicide you've been talking about
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
AL Gov admits that sure, using a state police helicopter to bring him his wallet that he left behind while fleeing his house during a Christmas Day fight with his wife over the affair he was having LOOKS bad, but he never said to use a HELICOPTER
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
When 70% of your town takes anxiety pills because they have to fly anytime they want medical care, it might be time to build a road
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Ehime private school principal caught sayof pilfering rice balls and sake from supermarket
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Great. Now North Carolinians are opposed to breasts, too
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
CT Judge rules that gun makers should be psychic
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Before Portland became cool, it took civil defense seriously and implemented rock-solid plan to survive global thermonuclear war with USSR - by successfully evacuating 29,423 vehicles and 101,074 people from city core in less than one hour in 1955
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
$1,000,000 no longer enough to buy all the items listed in the Barenaked Ladies song "If I Had $1,000,000." That's cruel
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
People stranded in DC subway system, seen drinking RadAway and grabbing Lincoln's Repeater
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Nearly half of all US households belong to Amazon Prime, according to new report. Man, that fine print in EULA gets you every time
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Babies sell out for crackers, stickers and science
source: now.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
China, having apparently grown bored with just pirating software and movies, now moves on to pirating entire cities
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this columnist
source: cdn12.lbstatic.nu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Son, lighting my grandson on fire is no way to go through life
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
US scolds France for violent cops and dirty prisons, in bizarre move that leaves both pots and kettles confused
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
College professor: Okay students, in order to get you ready for the horrors in life you will now commence to drink Baijiu for your exam. Bottoms up
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas Observer)
 
 
 
"I think someone may be living in a pothole near my house"
source: dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
The Italians knock off My Little Pony. You should have paid the protection money, Celestia
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Here are the reasons why the Navy didn't shoot down the Russian jets that buzzed their ship. Not wanting to turn the entire planet into a radioactive wasteland strangely absent
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
More husbands negotiating with their wives for the right to cheat. Also known as "The Bill Clinton Clause"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
All those "religious freedom" laws and "Bathroom Bills" that seem to have popped up simultaneously across the country? Turns out they've all been written by Kim Davis' lawyers
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Never get in a road rage fight with someone who can see two of you
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Nice ranch-style home for sale and the price may be negotiable due to the cat urine, drug paraphernalia and the squatter that police won't evict
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man goes full potato. Loses 70 lbs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Everyone in the Northeast U.S., get ready to stab holes in your eardrums. ooo-eee-ooo-eee, Screeeeeee, cchhhiirrrppp or however you describe it, let me sing you the song of my people
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Smoked, baked, braised, pulled, swimming in sauce, dry rub, whichever ya like. This here's a BBQ thread.. show us how it's done
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Philly Catholic penguin charged with DUI says she doesn't remember her drunken car crash ...or driving for that matter ...or the arresting officers
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Ah, beachcombing: you never know what you might find, be it pirate treasure, sea shells, or insanely valuable whale vomit
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Einstein
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Trail of destruction proves once again that 6-year-olds are just the worst drivers
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Post a viral video of your son being paddled at school? Yup, that's a paddlin'
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Littoral lube failure proves costly for Navy, most relationships
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Study shows airport sniffer dogs splendid at smelling smuggled sausages
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
'There goes the neighborhood' used to mean the exact reverse of this
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
Man with worst case of crabs ever gets sentenced to five years in prison
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Worried about how to afford college for your kids? Try to afford daycare first
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
The guy living in a box in his friend's living room in San Francisco for $400 a month now has to move out. In related news, he spent $1,300 building a wooden box
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thanh Nien News)
 
 
 
Airline passenger tries to smuggle live birds in his pants, is caught live tweeting
source: thanhniennews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Russian defense officials don't understand why Americans are so "distressed" over their pilots buzzing a destroyer. "Sorry, but the pattern was full"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Sir, masturbating for 3 hours is acceptable on Greyhound but not MegaBus
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
That moment when you learn you're on the ISIS kill list
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Don't hug Stacey's boyfriend
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian couple convicted, fined for cow-sharing
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
It is only Russia that has fifth-generation fighter aircraft. America's best fighter F-22 Raptor lacks teeth
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
But what am I supposed to do with the other six days of the week?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
DirecTV installer saves double amputee veteran from burning house sometime between the hours of 3 PM and 9 PM
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Need evidence as to why you should keep your seat belt fastened while in a plane? Behold Exhibit A
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The Appeals Court rules that the government has the right to access your cell phone data without a warrant
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My ex is offering to pay me a fair amount of cash if I hang out with him and be his friend. I'm worried that I'll look like a prostitute and get drawn back into a relationship, but I could use the cash"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Man chases boss with chainsaw, does doughnuts in truck as one of his coworkers films the event"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Here's the story of a guy who says he won't use toilet paper for "cultural reasons," so he wipes with his hands. Which is bad enough without knowing he's a chef and his kitchen is covered with brown fingerprints
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Cat decides to recline on top of train in Japan during rush hour. Hilarity ensues
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Bouqs Company - flowers from eco-friendly sustainable farms. Never underestimate the impact of random flowers. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPAX Missoula)
 
 
 
Most litigious man in the world sues Trump. No this is not about Kanye West
source: kpax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this golden-shoed walker
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Canada politely tells Americans to go kill themselves somewhere else
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
2,4,6,8, which cheer coach should I punch in the face?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A former porn shop will celebrate its transition into a book store by hosting a sex-themed art show. "Prostitution is a big part of our city's history"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's 2016 and some prosecutors are still convinced that marijuana is the gateway drug to heroin
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Ninth-grade girls hire male stripper to perform at their school's synchronized swimming club's annual banquet. Surprisingly, someone has a problem with that
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Suicide at golf course leaves hole in one
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Man gets an extra tearjerker of a song in the sleeve after buying used vinyl LP
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
Not News: Erik Prince of Blackwater/Xe/Academi fame is building his own air force to fight in Africa's resource wars. News: By weaponizing civilian aircraft. Fark: For his Chinese investors, who overruled the retired US Admiral on the company's Board
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Judge rules The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not a real religion. And yet, Scientology is?
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Seeing a movie in a theater is about to become even less enjoyable
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Bad Day at the Dildo Corral. Potatriot pleads guilty to threatening to kill Obama, says he'll provide info on other Potatriot crimes
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Men fake orgasms to help their partner's self-esteem, researchers find in new study. WAIT, WHAT? How does that work?
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 571: "It's Complementary" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
This week in headlines you can't believe aren't from 2008: "Digital Music Revenues Top Physical Sales"
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 13, 2016
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Having internet sex with pre-teens is not enough for 'Zel the Wolf', he needs sex with the family dog
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trader Joe's falls to the power of the Beef on Weck sandwich as Wegmans rises to the rank of best grocery chain in America
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
In-n-Out, apparently unaware of their own name, is threatening lawsuit because a model used their food in a sexually suggestive manner
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this feline ferocity
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you have some cans of Campbell's soup on display in your lair, the FBI would like for you to boast about your evil scheme
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Louisiana governor signs order to protect LGBT rights... that has to be a typo
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
He may not be the hero this funeral needs, but he is the hero this funeral deserves. Okay, so he's dressed as Spiderman not Batman, but you try writing funny headlines with all this dust in here
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
In happy harmless news that should concern absolutely no one, two empty containers labeled "Guided Missile" found floating offshore southeast Alaskan island
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
*Beep* Here is your 3D printed pizza. Share and enjoy
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Affluenza teen gets jail time. Facepalm tag is for how much
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Families of the people who died when a Germanwings Airline pilot deliberately crashed his jetliner into the Swiss Alps are suing the American flight school that taught him how to fly, because that makes sense, somehow
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
Michigan authorities kill black burglary suspect for exercising his right to bear arms
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Report identifies 22 German citizens who are in Syria actively fighting for ISIS, which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't the report of an investigation of active-duty members of the German military
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flexible golfer
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dumbass Daily)
 
 
 
Hoarder is crushed to death by a pile of his own crap in Alcabre, Spain
source: dumbassdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Sailor takes on 12 labors to benefit war vets. Hercules impressed
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In which we are sure these aren't the dirtiest things found there, beach trash in New Jersey that has been found include a rubber brain, birth control pills, and a keg
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman gets off after being accused of beating husband upon finding his dildo
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
American destroyer with Polish helicopter aboard observes threatening flybys from Russian fighter jets. Americans upset, Russians indignant, Polish pilot submerges helicopter and drives away
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Zika Is Coming-Here's What You Should Know Before You Freak Out says article intended to click-bait you into freaking out
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Chinese courts hear first same-sex marriage case, refuse marriage license. Don't they realize NCAA may reconsider hosting Division I basketball tournament games there?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Man says too much music, masturbation caused him to vandalize home, ordered to stay away from Fark parties
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
It's sad that we needed a research study to determine if there was consensus of the research into the cause of global warming, but here we are
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
Google patents new feature for autonomous cars: The ability to detect a "turn signal," whatever the heck that is
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Whether you're writing a novel, a short story or poetry, we welcome you with strong embraces, a love of all things readable and terrible puns. We're very punny people. Come, bring your notes and your ideas. THIS is Fark's Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Scotland)
 
 
 
It was an acne treatment face mask...yes..yes that's what it was. A black acne treatment face mask
source: heraldscotland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Emojis were supposed to be language's Great Equalizer, something we'd all interpret the same way. But that's not happening, partly because the same emoji can look different depending on the phone. Is it time for an Emoji Regulatory Agency?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Accountant sues organizers of sex festival after they bar him from entry because "he didn't have enough references from other swingers" (w/ pic of accountant that explains a lot)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Secretive Harvard club: We don't allow women to join because we are probably rapists
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Texas A.G. goes all in, says "Fark it, y'all can carry a loaded weapon right into a courthouse, just as Jesus intended," much to the chagrin of every sane judge in the state
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
And the decline of western civilization continues: food trucks for dogs growing in Seattle
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Conductor playing games on his phone causes train crash that kills eleven
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Pebble Time Smartwatch. What's your favorite smartwatch? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Why is it so hard to draw the Queen? ..whilst trying to shake off her leg-humping corgis
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
American national anthem broadcast in McDonald's restaurants every morning in Canada, annoys the locals
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
One dead, two hurt after lawn mower towing wheelchair with another passenger on the hood is hit by truck. No word on who held the beer for them
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"We need to fight ISIS with comedy; when you laugh at them when they are goose-stepping down the street, you take away their power" says noted human rights activist Bono on his solution to combat terrorism
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hour)
 
 
 
There are responsible citizens, and then there's a guy from Florida who flew to Connecticut to voluntarily turn himself in after he received a warrant for his arrest on charges that he stole a TV in 1989
source: thehour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guard at his post
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Woman witnesses motorcyclists punching a man on the ground in the middle of the road, so she stops and pulls out her gun. Then things get weird
source: lanesplitter.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
"I saw the actor that plays Superman, Henry Cavill, at the airport with his support dog," she adds. "That was a little disappointing. He's Superman"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Democracy: Syria's business
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Those 28 redacted pages of the 9/11 report may soon be declassified, revealing the Saudi Government, in collusion with the Reptoids, aided and abetted the terrorists
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Eighty-year-old Internet Black Widow arrested again for conducting herself as the eighty-year-old Internet Black Widow
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Not News: gang of 50+ drivers hold sideshow. News: at 6 in the afternoon on Sunday. Holy Fark: on the Bay Bridge
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
It's a flying clam
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah, gimme two giant double cheeseburgers and a large fries, to go
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"So you ask why are aliens writing in the middle of New Mexico? This is a warning to humans not to damage their base underground"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Leave it to the New York Post to have the worst headline of the day: Can you really justify wanting to have sex with your mom?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
German sports cars are known to be the best in the world. Therefore, the best selling sports car in Germany last month was....the Ford Mustang?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
America has a long and storied history with regulating alcohol, such as a high drinking age, and a requirement that all alcohol be slightly radioactive
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 12, 2016
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photographic evidence of people in Mexico defacing U.S. property
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Badass grandma survives 9 days in wilderness, kills elk to fashion "help" sign with its bones ... presumably from picture, anyway ... article's kinda long
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Need a good reason to finally getting around to fixing the leaky roof on your old house? You may stumble across a dusty old Caravaggio painting in the attic worth €120m
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Nothing could go wrong if we build a school on a site referred to as "a former toxic concrete mountain." Basketball-court sized sinkhole: Challenge accepted
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Governor sells T-shirts for $45 to pay off campaign debt, but he can't guarantee color or size. He suggests using them for crafts
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Car surfing in a Walmart parking lot ends just as you'd expect
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Guardian discovers that most internet trolls are sexist and racist. Guardian next plans to research the wetness of water
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's hiding in the mist below
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Latest problems in Flint, Michigan: (1) People aren't using enough water (2) People aren't wearing enough hats
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Smurfs in my fire alarm? It's more likely than you think, so says the man in only underwear and socks
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: If you absolutely must bring your marijuana grinder designed to resemble a hand grenade on your flight, don't pack it in your carry-on
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Dave UpTheGrove is entering Seattle election race as an environmentalist. Meanwhile, Bill DownTheHatch still can't get off the couch to register on the Fark Ticket
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hosting the World Cup and the Olympics was supposed to let Brazil show the world that it was an emerging world power. Between the recession, the corruption, the Zika virus, toxic Rio water and impeaching their president; it's done the opposite
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Illinois police dept is stopping use of body cams because people are actually asking for the footage when they get beaten up and that's just too much work
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. It might have something to do with the rampaging monkeys
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Kenyan police break through police station wall throwing tear gas canisters to force a group of Taiwanese on to a plane to China. No word if they shouted "Hey Koolaid" just to be funny
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Pakistan)
 
 
 
Will the officer please show the court how the grenade works?
source: en.dailypakistan.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Another study finds that same-sex parents are as good as opposite-sex ones. And still get mad at each other for leaving cap off toothpaste
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Major Tim Peak "catches the dragon" on the ISS. Funny, I didn't even know he liked to chase it
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
One of the co-sponsors of Tennessee's Anti-trans bathroom bill is found to be a bigger threat to women than the non-existent bathroom predators he's so worried about
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive pose
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Germany's Deutsche Bank cancels North Carolina plans over LGBT legislation. Man, and there I was looking forward to their live show
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Somebody stole a porcupine made of nails from Portland International Jetport
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
North Koreans who labored abroad in cold Siberian logging camps, or doing construction in the desert for 16 hours a day, explain that they put up with those working conditions because, compared to back home, they are the LUCKY ones
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I mean sometimes you just NEED to bring a rifle to a baby shower
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
"...and then the police arrived and you chewed on them, too"
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belleville News-Democrat)
 
 
 
Army Corps of Engineers, our national mapmaker, recommends against construction of federal building in St. Clair County, Illinois because of problems in St. Clair County, Missouri and St. Clair County, Michigan
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Make)
 
 
 
Yes, your cat absolutely needs 3D-printed battle armor
source: makezine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Leaf Chronicle)
 
 
 
"My chicken sandwich was wrong, by the way"
source: theleafchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
NOPE: Spelunking at Chernobyl reactor number 4
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight? Same thing we do every night, Inky - try to take over the world
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Yes, it's OK for Germans to make Hitler jokes. Some of their best friends are Hitler
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Two NC breweries creating 'Don't be Mean to People' beer in opposition of HB2
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
A gift from the past to your dinner table: the 1971 recipe for Cheese Bananas
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman claims dry shampoo made her go bald. With helpful pic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Driver going 171 MPH by Lake Superior faces possible auto ban. In related news, police prefer to not keep track of the high score
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Irritated by all these modern-day life hacks? How about life hacks from the '90s that don't even work anymore? Which, of course, raises the question -- can an outdated life hack be hacked to work again?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If a free scoop of ice cream sounds good to you, head to your nearest Ben & Jerry's Tuesday to take part in "Free Cone Day"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This is what happens when an official spokesman just gives up
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Truthout)
 
 
 
Nearly 85% of commercial fisheries are in danger of going out of business due to no more fish
source: truth-out.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not surprisingly, on the list of "most challenged books" in schools nationwide is a book that is full of scenes of incest, murder, adultery genocide, and graphic depictions of bestiality
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR explores the question of whether carrying a pistol makes you safer. Short answer: No. Long answer: Pew pew pew pew pew pew. No
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
John Kerry refuses to apologize for America winning WW2
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
John Kerry apologizes for America winning WW2
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
USS Portland, the Navy's first pedal-powered warship, to be commissioned next year
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It's been a year since Freddie Gray died while in the custody of Baltimore police, and the city that inspired The Wire and Homicide: Life on the Street is really slow at getting over the incident and trusting their cops again
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: From the creators of Scrivener: Scapple. Free-form, non-linear, mind-mapping software. Gluten-free and non-habit forming too. (Make brainstorming for your novel look like a crime investigation board.) (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Posing as a cop to get free unprotected sex from a hooker is no way to go throu....wait, cops get free unprotected sex from hookers?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Conservative Christian evangelist says Disney movies are turning animals into "Pagan gods." Well, Jungle Book, you can't ask for better marketing than that
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This man has stone balls. That is just spherical man. Lots of iron
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Don't make fun of presidents who have sex with goats. Even if they do
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Best Korea plagiarizes Abraham Lincoln to criticize the Obama Administration
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Automakers beg the Feds not to be hasty and create a botched set of rules for autonomous cars Instead, take your time and really fark it up right
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create a ransom note that someone would be willing to pay
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
All right, fess up Farkers. Which one of you is responsible for this?
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Clowns attacked teen with sex toys at haunted house." Well, that's one of my phobias
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girl kicked out of her sorority because IT'S JUST NOT FAIR
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Out Magazine)
 
 
 
Gay bars tired of bachelorette parties ruining their groove by treating them like petting zoos. Bridal showers bring gay sours
source: out.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Photographers taking pictures of fountain with children nearby are attacked by angry mothers. "Some stupid girl decided she'd 'smashed a paedophile ring' on Southend seafront and it's been shared about 13,000 times on Facebook"
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
"Banana can be a polarizing flavor"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
School cop who was videoed body-slamming a sixth-grade girl now has more time to work on his WWE career
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Involved in a traffic accident in New York State? You may soon be required to submit your mobile phone for forensic analysis on the spot
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
And what is the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health consensus on the Zika Virus? EVERYBODY PANIC
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Yes. OH GOD YES YES YES
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Here is just how often you should be having sex
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Many people believe they'll be greeted by angels when they arrive in heaven. Then there's what the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooter imagines
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
RIP Duane Clarridge. You never heard of him, he was a spy before it was cool to be a spy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 11, 2016
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Married couple killed after their car went off mountain road, rolled down embankment and then exploded, just like on '70s TV
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
NASA has released audio of what space sounds like and it's really spooky and available in a 24-hour stream
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
"Fun weekend mom" means different things to different people
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Headline: Frog cruelty investigation reveals they were only having sex at a tourist attraction
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Thieves caught after robbing cell phone store. Fark: They left all of the devices' GPS on
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A man, a plan, a money laundering scheme
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barakas Somebody)
 
 
 
Photoshop this badass
source: metrouk2.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Police say man with "Budweiser" neck tattoo swallowed five bags of heroin as his truck exploded on highway. Mugshot included
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE SAYS IT IS DONE shouting forecasts at you in all-caps
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Human body parts found in Seattle home recycling bin. What sick monster does something like that? Those clearly belong into the compost bin
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hungry cow in Australia's Northern Territory sends police on wild goose chase after triggering an emergency beacon
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scientists discover some people have "Superhero DNA" that gives them special immunities, Professor Charles Xavier and Agent Phil Coulson would like to speak to these people
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
WOOF...I mean, uh...meow
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Chariot, a would-be competitor to Uber that employs only women drivers and will only pick up female passengers is set to launch in Boston, despite the fact that such a service would likely be illegal
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Christian publisher tells women that dildos are a "direct path to Satan," and an integral part of demon summoning rituals for thousands of years. I mean just look what happened to Ammon Bundy and his crew after they even just TOUCHED one (Not safe for work images in article)
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Goldman Sachs will pay $5.06 billion to settle federal charges of deceptive mortgage practices in the years leading up to the 2008 financial meltdown
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
XHamster decides that if you are too concerned about genitals then you don't get to see any
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Guy goes to dentist expecting to have four teeth pulled. Wakes up naked and totally toothless in hospital after coding twice in ambulance
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Why a rural farm in Potwin, Kansas, owned by an 82-year-old woman, attracts so much attention from FBI agents, federal marshals, IRS collectors and others
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)