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Sun April 10, 2016
(National Post)
 
 
 
Canadian First Nation town declares state of emergency due to a "suicide epidemic" that included 11 suicide attempts on Saturday alone
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Monkey ninja kicks a guy clear into next week
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Experts warn that self driving cars are scary. Experts also warn that most people who are legally allowed to drive are also scary
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Persuading Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this persuasion
source: content.tegna-media.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
So what really happens to the plane when you don't put your phone in airplane mode? Uh...nothing. Maybe a few beeps, but otherwise, nothing
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK surveillance agency on reports that they prevented the leak of one of the Harry Potter books: "We don't comment on our defence against the dark arts"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teacher forced to quit after parents find video of her twerking in a bikini. Yeah, let's punish her for having a good time on vacation
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Proud Marine parents display Marines stickers, logos, their son's photo on their vehicle. Of course, someone has a problem with that
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Panama Papers' latest victim: You having to work for a living
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Look, MotY candidates. If you've just abandoned your 5-year-old son at a Walmart to be found and raised by someone else, then spent the last hour having sex in a nearby apartment, don't come back to the store after to see if he's still there
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Fake "life hacks" (LGT example)
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anne Boleyn's head turns up on eBay, just like everything if you wait long enough
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman run over while sunbathing. That is what you get for sunbathing in a parking lot ... [reads article] ...oh Fark
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Protip: Do not tell women to smile. Unless you just like pissing off women
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Yorker cartoonist dies in car crash. No word what the indecipherable caption will read under his obituary photo
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State Journal)
 
 
 
"Whether the elaborate hoax to regain the girl worked out is unknown"
source: state-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Apparently everyone was too busy reading yesterday to have a Saturday Book Discussion. So, here's your belated thread ... and this week, we're in search of the greatest comedy novels of all time
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nothing to see, move along, move along
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
4th Amendment? We don't need no stinking 4th Amendment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Lifetime RealtimeBoard Premium. Intermediate subscription level not offered on their website - more features than free and less than $50/month. Which Myers-Briggs likes this style of collaboration? INTP? ESFJ? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Melbourne man wakes up in a casino airshaft with 'no idea' how he got there, has to be rescued by emergency services
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Smock)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Picard maneuver
source: ww1.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: First adult decision
source: blavity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas teacher resigns after arrest prompted by video of her repeatedly smacking student on the head and calling him "idiot ass" in class. Now she's free to run for Texas Board of Education slot
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
You won't be taken seriously as a tiki bartender unless you have a fistful of cocktail umbrellas, a grass skirt, and a bottle of falernum
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sudden influx of U.S. tourists causing Cuba to run low on beer. Thanks Obama
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you want to buy a treehouse owned by a shaman known as Genesis, all you need to give him is a satchel of lucky crickets, ten silver coins, a spirit bag of lavender, and a $500 donation to the local homeless shelter. Just kidding. It costs $8 mil
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Prank callers convince Burger King to smash out their windows in the funniest prank call since they were asked if there are any walls there
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Lab results show that the bodies found in a mass grave in Mexico weren't those of the 43 missing students. So, the students are still missing and they have no idea who's in the mass grave. Great police work, Lou
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oldest inmate on Texas' death row deprives Texans of a good execution
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
They take their wine seriously in Spain. Like, guerilla war serious
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You say rubbish, I say rubbish-free lifestyle
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Invisible shiat sandwich
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Egypt, Saudi Arabia building a bridge over Red Sea; that whirring sound you hear is Moses
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
If you think El Nino has ended California's drought, here are 13 trillion reasons why you're wrong
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 09, 2016
(Alaska Folk Festival)
 
 
 
Just a reminder that Livingston Stapler Company Presents will be preempted by the annual Alaska Folk Festival tonight. LGT festival site where live audio/video streaming is available
source: akfolkfest.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Vishu celebrations unleash Shiva
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Kittens rescued after being found in the trash. Heartless owner to be charged with littering
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Boy gets the surprise of his life after no one showed up to his birthday party
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Scarfy Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hipster who's clearly out of line
source: ww2.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Two ugly-ass white tiger cubs are born at theme park. Welcome to Earth, Titan and Apollo
source: subicnewslink.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
Young woman punched in the face for no apparent reason by man in the park. With helpful picture of the park in the early 1930s
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
1,200 participants successfully break world record in a game of 'human mattress dominoes.' Yes, there is a video
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One-week-old ugly-ass tiger cubs make their debut at Chinese zoo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
You may think you're a badass, but are you a 70-year-old, cane-wielding, chased-off-a-robber at-Waffle-House badass?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
School children launched a stuffed animal into space. It's basically become Sandra Bullock in 'Gravity' (Some Not safe for work images in sidebar)
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
In defense of pretension
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
B-52's join the fight against ISIS, bringing a New Wave in the allied offense
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Houston, we have a problem
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You know who else liked to seize territory?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Starbucks barista offends customer with accurate prediction
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Get jiggy with this puzzle piece
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
A 4-year-old saved his mom's life by unlocking her cellphone and calling for help, is now planning to put Kindergarten on hold while he considers offers made by both Apple and the FBI
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Facebook campaign underway to get female tourists to take off their clothes and post pictures of it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grind TV)
 
 
 
I was wondering if I'd be able to get a pic of that plane landing when suddenly it hit me
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Stop me if you have heard this one before. Apple and the Justice Department are locked in a battle over unlocking an iPhone
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Overweight dog loses half his body weight. Goes from chunky to hunky
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
"I'm scared on top of this utility pole. I'm going to puma pants"
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: iSafe Drive 64GB. Thumb drive for backing up your iPhone and expanding your iPhone storage. I need this yesterday. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Sorry, Crocodile Dundee, but if you want a REAL knife, you have to come to Texas
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Use the forms, Luke
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maine News Online)
 
 
 
Want to cut your risk for Type 2 diabetes or obesity? Simple: drink the good stuff, not that 2%, 1%, or (god forbid) skim crap
source: mainenewsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You know that Facebook post that claims you can pay your income taxes in cash at the nearest 7-Eleven? Yeah, about that...wait, you mean it's true? Really?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"Oh hi, thanks for using our sperm bank to conceive your child. Turns out that donor wasn't the PhD candidate we advertised, he was a career criminal with schizophrenia. We good? Kthxbye"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're drinking and driving, just go home and sleep it off. Don't set up a fake DUI checkpoint along the highway
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italian foodies unimpressed by inflammatory French video demonstrating one-pot recipe for pasta alla carbonara with creme fraiche and onion. "We're open to all kinds of variations on the carbonara, but this goes too far...désolé"
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado's proposed universal healthcare organization would rank 80th on the Fortune 500 list if it were a private company. Revenues would surpass state budget by over $16 billion
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The USPS is adjusting the postal rate yet again ... downward? Wait, what?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this buffalo soldier
source: scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Because it's not everyday that a kitty jumps straight into your van engine as you're going down a busy London street, let's give a hats-off to this fire brigade for rescuing this frightened little guy in just three hours after ripping the van apart
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
VP of Jet Pack International critically injured after falling 10 feet during demo at Go Fast energy drink company
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Need to cure your sugar addiction? Take up smoking
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
NC congressman thinks the person standing up for gay people is a bully, rather than the people passing anti-LGBT laws
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 08, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, so the Fark Weird News Quiz is back with a vengeance. With real questions this time
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Japan invents the salad cake: all the spongy texture of a cake, all the great flavor and vegetable-based nutrition of a salad. We shall call it....sake! No wait
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Former Navy SEAL who killed bin Laden never has to buy a drink again...but he does have to face the consequences for DUI
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Castaways learn a valuable lesson because they'd watched Gilligan's Island all those years ago
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
In annual tradition, over 100 Tokyo cherry blossom viewers rushed to hospital for acute alcohol intoxication
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
New sign for Civil War veterans buried in Billings cemetery. Personally I think displaying the sign would have been a better choice
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
THIS is how you Sonic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Cost of liver disease medication jumps from $400 a month to $40,000 a month. Martin Shkreli unavailable for comment
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Buzzfeed is now officially the Gallagher of news media
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
The Falcon has landed
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Archbishop of Canterbury learns he is a bastard
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blackhawk
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Short people think Duke sucks
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Even though buckling in your cases of beer with seatbelts will keep it from moving around the car, the cops may have a problem with you making the kids and baby ride on adults' laps and in the footwells in order to facilitate your cunning plan
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Andrew Moore was a WWII veteran raised in an orphanage who never married and outlived his friends. He died with no will, no instructions and no next of kin. But thanks to his neighbors, today he'll be buried as a hero at Arlington Cemetery
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The number of times you should shower a week may surprise you, unless you are French
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man who had half his penis amputated speaks out, presumably in a higher pitch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Everybody stand back, they are restarting the Large Hardon Collider
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Photographer hangs with Klan Members in TN and MD. The pictures are about what you would expect them to be
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Mark your calendar and set your alarm, SpaceX hopes the 5th time's the charm. Will Falcon 9 finally stick the sea landing? What's with the sappy Droneship name? And where are my pants? SpaceX launch scheduled for 4:43pm Eastern/1:43pm Pacific, hot diggity
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blank billboard
source: mediscreen.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italian bee rustling is on the rise. Interpol on lookout for anyone carrying millions of tiny lassos
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
RELAX everyone, the 'Great British Biscuit Crisis' is over
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Harrison Ford has phony arrest planted in police records, presumably by one-armed man
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
My black female roomba appears to have mated with a white roomba and an orange roomba. The litter was huge. I have calico roombas all over the place now. Who wants me to send them one? What do I feed baby roombas?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Could this $4 Canadian hack help solve the Zika crisis? Answer: No, probably not
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is [redacted] newspapers look [redacted] in places without the First Amendment, like the [redacted] and the UK
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mossack Fonseca law firm has never forgiven Americans for Van Hagar
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Paris attacks suspect Mohamad Abrini, the infamous 'the man in the hat' at the Brussels airport attack has been arrested by Belgian authorities
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Toyota built a wooden car, complete with a 'century meter' to track years of ownership, and it's awesome
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Frank Costanza has nothing on this kid
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Senators to airline passengers: You know, you're right. Airline seats *are* getting ridiculously cramped. Maybe we should do something. Airlines: My goodness, look at all this money we found. Senators: Actually, scratch that - these seats are great
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Game Development e-learning bundle. If your kid is going to play games anyway, might as well get her to code one. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
NewsFlash
 
Victims confirmed at Lackland AFB, police are searching for the shooter or shooters
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Los Angeles car chase had it all; high speeds, blacktop-scarring donuts, the TMZ tour bus, helicopters, and then it ended with high-fives and selfies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Being found with your boyfriend's blood all over you after he is stabbed with a kitchen knife is "legally insufficient" to prosecute you for anything in Washington State, if you're Miss Washington USA
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Identical twin sisters and their identical twin husbands all undergo plastic surgery because they can't tell who is married to who
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The right wing vows to do something about this Pope because he wants to "tolerate" gays, not beat them up like Jesus would do
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If only there were such an app
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're reading this then you're lying in the wet spot. Sweet dreams
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Attention DC farkers: Do you ride those Circulator buses around the city? Yes? You're gonna die. In fact, you may be dead already
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Enforcement of North Carolina's transgender bathroom bill may be stalled
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New York City cracks down on titty me Elmo
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Just because Arizona is considering laws that target illegal immigrants, the Phoenix Chamber of Commerce asks that you don't boycott the state because it could really hurt them economically
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Parents outraged that the government won't just let their 6-year-old brain cancer patient son die
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Family convinced that their 4-year-old son has renounced terrorism, wants him removed from watch list
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Mother and boyfriend beat 8-year-old to death, so naturally authorities go after fat cat social workers
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
News: NJ facing income tax shortfall after the state's richest man moves to Fark's favorite state. Newsier: Someone worth $10.6 Billion chose to live in NJ
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Finally, somebody may face charges after cops fatally shoot a man who was carrying an air rifle at a Walmart. And that somebody could be the guy who called 911 in the first place
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Why 12 million Americans believe alien lizards rule us. BECAUSE THEY DO. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Someone actually is going to jail for financial fraud - 83 years worth of jail. Judge: "I deem you a financial predator"
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Jersey high schoolers play Nazis vs. Jews drinking game called "Alcoholocaust." Wait, wasn't this one of those Ice-T Law and Order memes?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Clark County family finds dildo in their shed
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Facebook doesn't yet recognize "Polyamorous" as a relationship status, which means we're all being oppressed or something
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bakersfield Now)
 
 
 
Man arrested for watering his lawn. (while naked, throwing a beer bottle at a deputy and trying to get all stabby with an 8"... Knife)
source: bakersfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
That small Keystone pipeline leak? Yeah, it's ninety times worse than expected
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Spark your curiosity. Lonely Swedes are standing by now waiting to bork with you. What are you waiting for? There's nothing to lose. I want to hear your voice
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Water company chief says that filling the street back in after they dig it up for water main repairs is "not our core business"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
If you don't want to shop at a supermarket that failed health inspection, don't go shopping
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 07, 2016
(San Luis Obispo Tribune)
 
 
 
Man has to be rescued from Morro Rock after climbing it to propose to girlfriend via Facetime, misunderstanding when she said "if you're going to propose, it better involve a giant rock"
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bride flips the bird at her in-laws during wedding reception, things escalate quickly
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Doc, does this look infected to you?" is apparently a legally ambiguous area in which to practice medicine
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Speeding past deputies to illegally park at the courthouse to make your court date while high and having drugs packaged for sale is probably the way your life was going to be anyway, Thomas Weed
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man, 27, called cops because his mom was "mad and yelling at him" for smoking all their meth
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Three shades of Fark: 1. Woman dies around Christmas & family is told to dig hole in cemetery themselves as diggers won't work on holiday. 2. Box is empty. 3: Woman's body found weeks later in funeral director's van after arrest for drunk driving
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(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Teen killed by malfunctioning rocket-powered skateboard. Acme Corporation unavailable for comment
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
To the disbelief of women everywhere, researchers say modern men lack the Y chromosome from Neanderthals
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
♫ Policemen had six newborn lambs, newborn lambs, newborn lambs. Policemen had six newborn lambs, in an illegal smuggling ring ♪
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(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Million dollar award winning teacher gives hard lesson in Yankee thrift
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Didn't kill anyone this month? Great, here's your $1,300 check
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Cop t-bones school bus, injuring 3. Cop says the bus just suddenly cut in front of him, and nobody could possibly have stopped in time, even if he had been paying attention and following traffic laws
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man who had a stroke running in a marathon says he's got half a mind to run in another one
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Advertising Age)
 
 
 
Meet the new face of Irritable Bowel Syndrome
source: adage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Dear US Marshals: I got this. Signed, Michonne
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Brave Iraqi Army, bravely ran away / When ISIS reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tails and fled / Brave Iraqis turned about, and gallantly they chickened out
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Father of 7 accused of credit card fraud found collecting child porn as well as having a sex slave tied to a stripper pole in his house, or as Michiganders call it, "Thursday"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Town in shock after an entire KFC meal was tragically abandoned on the streets of Cheltenham. Reporters launch a high-profile appeal to reunite it with its owner
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
I lost one fourth of my legs in the Middle East and all I got was this Dickin Medal
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this clock-tower
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Former Auschwitz guard died how he lived: A Coward
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
USS Gerald Ford set to join the fleet in September, when it will be promptly eaten by the USS Seawolf, the Connecticut, and the Jimmy Carter because it is delicious
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York's top court rules that parents can eavesdrop on their own children's phone calls. Difficulty: Finding a child who actually uses their phone for anything besides texting, social media and sending photos
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
A video of Iggy Pop using his cock for facial grooming is much more adorable than it sounds
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man sets up the perfect murder by claiming self defense in his front yard. Well, perfect except for his own surveillance cameras recording the whole incident
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
"Sarah A. Edwards, 22, faces charges of molesting a coin operated machine and grand theft"
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox11 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Another quality car chase in LA today, going through the rain in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeways, and with a TMZ tour bus trying to stop two "criminal masterminds" in a convertible (still ongoing at this time)
source: foxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Got a frog in your throat? Nope, octopus
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Virginia legislators pass law prohibiting police from ticketing vehicles with expired inspection stickers or tags while they're waiting in line to renew them. Because, apparently, they were allowed to do that before and did, a lot
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Maker of Japanese popsicles in flavors like, grapefruit, spaghetti, and corn stew airs a national ad apologizing for raising the prices of their product by about $0.10 when they SHOULD be apologizing for those flavors, seriously, corn stew? WTF?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Garden time, Farkers. It's time to plant something other than your ass on a bar stool for another drink. Show us what you're growing this year and give tips on what makes a good home garden
source: eartheasy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Questions you can expect to be asked during a routine traffic stop in Indiana: "Do you know how fast you were going?" "How many drinks have you had?" "Have you been saved by Jesus Christ?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Things not to post on Facebook after you kill your girlfriend in a car wreck: "Shiat happens"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How many people have you indirectly slept with?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
The most 2010's thing ever just happened. Woman gets into a Twitter fight with another woman, take an Uber to her house to get into a real fight with her, livetweets that she got her ass kicked, and then took another Uber home
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
How do you shoot yourself in the ass with a rifle?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horse
source: img08.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
College takes the position "Missionary" is a boring mascot. Up for grabs whether it's replaced by Doggy Style or On the Kitchen Table
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC Police kill pit bull. I know his music is questionable, but that seems somewhat extreme
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Washington state authorities are on the lookout for two violent escaped mental patients. They fear that if the escapees make it to Portland, they'll blend in and never be found
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What do you call 20,000 lesbians in a desert oasis?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
The coolest 'Viking Funeral" for a pet fish that you'll see today
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
For National Beer Day today, here are some booze deals and handy brew facts to get you through the day of hoisting many
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Handy tip for travelers: In France, under a new law, it is no longer illegal to BE a prostitute, but it IS illegal for a customer to pay for one
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Libya's Tripoli-based government will "cease operation" and absolve itself of responsibility for the country's fate. Apparently they got the idea after watching elected officials in Flint, Michigan
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Sovereign citizen's hands violently secede from his body while he's attempting to mix an explosive commonly known as "the mother of Satan" because of its instability
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It's official: "Panama Papers: Putin rejects corruption allegations". Never believe in something until it's officially denied
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ynet)
 
 
 
71 years after his downfall and death, the town of Tegernsee strips Hitler of his 'honorary citizen' status
source: ynetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One of those unexpected costs of online dating is a few thousand quid for your date when she texts you to say she's been kidnapped by a sex-crazed gangster and needs ransom money
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: E-learning: C, Java, SQL, Python, C++, Raspberry Pi... Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
I stole the truck and no one noticed. Sweet Crap, now the battery's dead. Hey, there's a cop over there. He'll probably give me a jump start
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
For those with an appreciation for fine art and a healthy dose of eye bleach: Donald Trump's nude portrait to be shown at a London art gallery for the first time by artist who received over a thousand death threats because of it
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
10 ugly ducklings rescued from airport storm drain
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Baltimore police fire 56 shots into vehicle, killing father and son in latest proof their aim is getting better
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
How broke is the Bay Area Rapid Transit? So broke they have to purchase parts on eBay
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Many Bothans died to bring you this Star Wars Rogue One trailer
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
"Barefoot burglar sneaks in through doggy door" is surprisingly not a euphemism
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
"According to Companies House there are 354 companies in the UK with an ISIS moniker but many have now changed their name - the most understandable one being a company called ISIS Recruitment, which now no longer exists"
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
They're crazy and they're kooky / Mysterious and spooky / They're all together ooky / Two escaped mental patients
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Man man donates 150th gallon of blood, swears it's not for a Trump campaign ritual
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
WikiLeaks criticizes lack of Panama Papers availability
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
FBI director says agency now has a tool to unlock all iPhones: "Imagine a world where a local police department can send us a device, with the understanding that we're never going to testify, we're never going to tell you how we opened it"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Debrief (UK))
 
 
 
Most depressing website you'll see today shows you what other people accomplished by the time they were your age
source: thedebrief.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big head
source: pre11.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gym blasted for body-shaming advertisement claiming aliens will "take the fat ones first", even though of course they will
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
At first glance, this newly built home looks completely normal. But if you look a bit closer, there's one massive mistake. "They had one job"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Gallant buys the ladies beer. Goofus steals a 63 year old woman's beer, drinks it, takes his shirt off, challenges everyone to a fight then shakes granny violently before beating her
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Instagram shuts down account over explicit photo of a cake
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Because if there's one thing that presents the FBI's General Counsel with a significant problem, it's the possibility that a billion innocent people might get ideas
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bullet found near site of Hejaz train ambush in Arabia "almost certainly" fired by TE Lawrence. With helpful picture of what Peter O'Toole might look like
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Japanese horror movies almost write themselves
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
"We learned it from watching YOU"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Performance of Sweeney Todd is a little too realistic
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Oh yes we did (remind you that you should never order within 5 minutes of Domino's closing)
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
You know how to keep it classy if you show up at an anti-circumcision rally wearing white clothing with a fake red blood stain around the crotch
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
So long, and thanks for all the fish
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Today's criminal genius attempts to elude police after burglary by spraying himself with two dry chemical fire extinguishers. (w/ mugshot goodness)
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man arrested for a Florida DUI. That's like a regular DUI with a BAC over .08 but with a marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamine, and MDMA chaser
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Rich douches of Instagram are making it easier to prosecute their rich parents for financial crimes
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 570: "Same Stuff, Different Day" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 06, 2016
(Costa Rica Star)
 
 
 
Let's just say that if doctors need to surgically remove an 18-inch vegetable from your rectum, perhaps farming isn't for you
source: news.co.cr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
High school senior accepted by all eight Ivy League schools, plus Johns Hopkins University, MIT, New York University and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. What, no Stanford?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
Toilet training is never easy - especially when it ends in a visit from paramedics
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian university students try to engage in some extra-curricular chemistry experiments in New Orleans, instead receive a lesson in anthropology and modern American culture
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
School cop provides WWE body slam lesson to 12-year-old girl
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tigers declared extinct in Cambodia
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass polar bear cub born in German zoo. With ugly-ass pics
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
WVU fraternity finds out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Uber driver wakes up from a nap to find his fare has gotten them into a high-speed police chase. Lot of bad decision-making going on here
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Let me play for you the song of my poophole
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lizard that's about to make a speech
source: marksheridan.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coventry Telegraph)
 
 
 
Britain's stupidest criminals include the thief who left his wig at a crime scene to the robber who tried to pay for a packet of crisps with cheese
source: coventrytelegraph.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
In California, birth control prescriptions are now available from your pharmacists. So you can stop asking for them at the bank or the car dealership, if that's what you were doing before
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Voters in small Wisconsin town end 163-year ban on alcohol sales upon realization that they live in a small Wisconsin town
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
New bill would allow any Oklahoman over 21 to openly carry firearms without a license, training or background checks. This should end well
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Matt Foley has moved his van to the U.K
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida's governor signs a law officially voiding Florida's 148-year old law making it a criminal offense for unmarried couples to live together. Tag is for how long it took them to do this
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Perp denies owning crack pipe hidden in her vagina, says she was just storing it for a friend
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop a millennial's view of the corporate world
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
We have reached peak porn. "There are only so many ways we can show people having sex, and we've basically run out of ideas"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Crocodiles figure out how to climb fences. In related news, all of Australia is dead now (pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
"As is the case with many iconic dishes, the exact where and when of the Frito pie's invention is heavily disputed"
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Obama is at it again, restricting your God-given constitutional rights to own, possess, and use tigers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
What do you get when a fat ass sits on a little ass? A dead ass, a court case and utter humiliation
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(India TV News)
 
 
 
Problem: TV personality commits well-publicized suicide. Solution: Ban ceiling fans
source: indiatvnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Judge approves $20 billion settlement in the 2010 BP gulf oil spill. Executives scramble to find a way to make up for the three days worth of profits
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Casino evacuated after penis ring causes terror alert"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the Front Page of the Bangor Daily News: Moose trots up the road and does a little dance (w/video)
source: hashtagmaine.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Imprisoned Manson family murderer Tex Watson is mailing Wikipedia handwritten edits of his pages in longform and demanding his entries be changed to include them
source: refinery29.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Hunters kill massive 15-foot alligator that was snacking on cows
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware County Daily Times)
 
 
 
The Villanova Wildcats shut down I-95 through Pennsylvania at rush hour yesterday afternoon when they flew back from the national championship and no one complained or threw batteries at the team or anything, which is weird for Philly
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man wakes up to discover that overnight, the city has turned the parking space in front of his house into a disabled spot and fined him for parking his car in it (pics)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Brandenburg bans the posting of "noodle mass" signs. Brother Spaghettus says, "This is pasta joke"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
One in 50 men are raising a bastard and don't even know it
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home. And this little piggy was slathered in grease and chased through the streets by Spanish school children
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Tourism chiefs outraged over pop song slur that suggests Ibiza is favourite party spot for drug takers. As if
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
Australian police come upon naked woman, whip out their--you know what, let me rephrase this whole headline
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The ISIS media department now has a publishing arm, and among the more notable titles on its spring list are "How to Handle Your Slaves" and "How Women Should Behave and Dress"
source: newscastmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eNews Channel Africa)
 
 
 
A self-claimed 'prophet' said he went to Heaven and took pictures on his smartphone and is willing to share.... I mean sell them to you
source: enca.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
For decades, owner of no-tell motel used hidden cameras to watch guests have sex. He would have gotten away with it if not... wait, he did get away with it?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
China, jealous of Jessica McClure, throws kid down well then shows dramatic televised rescue
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Visir)
 
 
 
Icelandic PM says he "did not resign", he just told his staffers and other MPs that he will be leaving Parliament, effective immediately, to spend some more time with his offshore money, but that's not "resigning", just...you know, leaving your job
source: icelandmag.visir.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
A father covered in Nazi tattoos and who named his children Adolf Hitler and Arian Nation claims he is being unfairly singled out
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I have run out of wit, Please bring some honey. Also, try to write a little and share some of your stories. We have a book we're compiling. An anthology of sorts. Also, there's a Fark Book Fair coming soon. THIS is the Fark Writer's thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Complete C# Coding Bootcamp. Alternative B♭basic training scheduled for next spring. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this POV
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A Kentucky lawyer, a former administrative law judge and a psychologist walk into a bunch of bars
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Pakistan catches up to Texas
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
This morning all of London is asking, "The hell is that thing swimming up the Thames?"
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Woman shot with her own gun after a struggle with intruders inside her own home. Your move, NRA
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman refuses to be vaccinated against whooping cough during pregnancy because she is a "healthy, fit, organic woman." You know what happens next
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pakistan just made it possible for women to not be killed for any old reason by family members. Some Pakistani men have a problem with this
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So now that Bernie has all this momentum from 7 straight wins, could he actually win a contested Democratic convention? Short answer: No. Long answer: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Reporter: Because of my work, I was able to inform the people that there's a terrible murder, hours before my competition even got to the scene. In fact some of the adult-run newspapers were reporting the wrong news, or no news at all. Fark: She's 9
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Attn)
 
 
 
Leave it to Japan to make full-body masturbation sex suits weird (Not safe for work, sanity)
source: attn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Being British and breaking a British record means having triplets when you're a 55-year-old grandmother ....So very British one guesses
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albany Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you know how to make a bomb out of popsicle sticks, duct tape and a chalupa, the defense department would like a word
source: albanydailystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You're gonna need a bigger litter box
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
RIP #ASSoL #ASSLAW
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist chased and nearly driven off the road tries to file a police report but is told that road rage is a common problem and that he shouldn't bother. Guess which state
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Driver of SUV flees cops at a Navy base and crashes into an FA/18 Super Hornet. Subby just wants to know how the hell he got that high in the air
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 05, 2016
(Local 8 Knoxville)
 
 
 
This is how you run a marathon
source: local8now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
German woman, owed $680 for the last four years due to an airline delay, finally collects. Fark: By hiring a collector who threatens to impound an airplane
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Drug suspect, 20, tries to flee from police on hoverboard. Jailarity ensues
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego's vaping congressman gets caught spending campaign money on video game downloads, blames son
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Lesbos to be visited by Pope Francis in what has to be the worst blind-dating matchup of all time
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Subby gets arrested at airport
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Death toll is 71 and rising in Pakistan due to Dihydrogen Monoxide outbreak
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Missing WV couple found in mud hole. When told they'd be brought back to West Virginia, said they preferred the mud hole
source: tristateupdate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Subby would never wear this skirt, period
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classiness
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study finds millennials are more vulnerable to scams than any other age group, including seniors. In other news, anyone want to buy an artisanal, hand-crafted, eco-friendly, cruelty free bridge? You guys should like it, it's even in Brooklyn
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
On April Fool's Day, Juneau, Alaska was renamed "Uno". After the card game, not its former governor's IQ
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTZ Burlington)
 
 
 
Man wearing 'I'm a smart one' shirt charged with offering money for sex
source: wptz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Sturgis? Boring. Daytona Bike Week? A bunch of posers. If you really want insanity, you have to go to Europe and roll to Elefantentreffen
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - design an interesting cell phone back case
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman punches off-duty cop after being told to stop using her bare hands to scoop lettuce from the salad bar
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Kitty Genovese's murderer has died in prison. Preliminary coroner's reports indicate that millions of his blood cells stood around and did nothing while a clot brutally blocked his heart
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin: the undiscovered slam poet of our time?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korean monitoring officials announce that satellite images of plumes from nuclear facility are not, in fact, from Kim Jong-un's bedside microwave
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China announces a ban on mining imports from North Korea. No word on how soon the ocean gets nuked in retaliation
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Please note: when the sheer scale of your alcohol consumption prompts a customs investigation that's only overturned on appeal, you might have a drinking problem. Or you're a Fark mod, one of the two
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The BarkPost)
 
 
 
There are ways to fix all your dog's obnoxious habits. Unless he tends to lick his junk and then give you kisses right after. Science still has no solution for that
source: barkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cool: flight attendant helpfully shows passengers how to use the emergency slide to escape the plane. Not cool: moments after landing at the airport
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Study shows that humans are aroused by touching robots in their no-no places. With robot butt touching gif goodness
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Governor Pat McCrory: "Nobody would actually kill jobs in North Carolina over our bigoted anti-LGBT law." PayPal CEO Dan Schulman: "Challenge accepted"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Panama Papers claim their first victim
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Abraham Lincoln carried a secret message concerning the Civil War in his pocket for most of his term. A message so secret even he didn't know about it. And no, it wasn't "DUCK"
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Backstreet Boys plot Las Vegas residency and tour with The Spice Girls. Because of all the years we don't want to relive musically, it's the late '90s and early '00s
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTRH Newsradio)
 
 
 
Scientists plan to help people get past their phobias by removing the bad memories that trigger them, which is good news for phobia sufferers, PTSD victims, Coldplay album sales
source: ktrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
If you are wondering why there are so few American names in the "Panama Papers" creating sleazy shell companies, it's because states like NV and DE are all too happy to do it for them, with even less transparency
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vimeo)
 
 
 
In case you wondered what it was like to have an F4 tornado crash directly into your camera-holding face. Tag is for his wife who didn't make it
source: vimeo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Scrivener 2. What's your favorite novel-writing software? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady and her babies
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I am a lesbian and I'm attracted to a female coworker who might be straight. Any advice on how I can ask her out and get her to switch teams? I really think it would be a great thing for both of us"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New revelations from the Panama papers; they were helping the Norks build nukes and the Syrian government bomb civilian targets
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A new generation of Dildonians arises to take up the torch
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(India.com)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un dead or seriously injured. Sounds legit
source: india.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Batik shreds TransNusa at Halim Perdanakusuma
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, I know this doesn't sound legit, but my filthy girlfriend won't get off me, all she wants to do is have sex and play with my dangly bits, which just turns me off .....so I'm cheating on her with a cougar
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(660 News Calgary)
 
 
 
Unoriginal: Shouting "FHRITP" into a rolling news camera. Unemployed: From your marked company vehicle
source: 660news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
New Jersey Target stores trying to lure in the younger crowd by offering used syringes with their clothing lines
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Two clever police detectives prove better at accessing a suspect's locked iPhone in 10 seconds than hundreds of NSA crypto geeks working around the clock
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
When you poop on someone's lawn, don't be surprised when they try to stab you for it
source: kfbk.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 04, 2016
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Need to randomly pick people for secondary screening on your job as TSA agent? There's an app for that...for $1.4M
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The War on Drugs finally records a rare victory as flakka suddenly disappears from Florida. Still plenty of naked people playing in traffic though
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Here are America's fastest growing cities. Finally, a leak featuring the Sunshine State that doesn't involve gators, public drinking or swallowing heroin in a police car
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Not considered hazardous duty in the army: Soldiers whose sole job is to run a massive weed operation to help war veterans with PTSD
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Post (UK))
 
 
 
Just so you know, a whole lotta sheep shearing world records are about to fall
source: dailypost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
What we can learn from the most boring man in Britain, besides how to get more sleep
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Police searching for missing woman known as Lulu the Clown. They are telling people to look for clues like stray balloon animals and enormous shoes
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: We're in the tank for your mom
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cool cave spot
source: a.abcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Disneyland Paris Clue: The Skeletal Bride, in the Phantom Manor, with the live electrical cable. Do I WIN?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Russia's official mouthpiece, RT, welcomes Panama Papers. Just kidding, they just went Full Godwin
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Oh great. Anorexic polar bears
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Not News: Electric scooter stolen. News: SF Giant Hunter Pence's scooter stolen, again. Fark [this World]: From the Make-a-Wish Foundation's offices, along with lots of other equipment
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The US Army plans to spend another 12.5 billion on drones before the year is up. That's the equivalent of 10 million college textbooks, which could be used to teach kids how awesome war is
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
National Poo Museum to open. Some exhibits said to include the politics tab, Chinese Democracy, and the dump subby took last weekend
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Invasive species overruns local kite festival
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 10 Sacamento)
 
 
 
One out of every eight California drivers is disabled. Sounds low
source: abc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
A member of "The Soldiers of Odin" had to be hospitalized with an eye injury after the group was involved in a "major brawl" in Gothenburg Sweden with parties unknown
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Connecticut buffet dining tip: Don't bogart the crab claws
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strongarm bank job
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here are the weird-ass beauty ingredients South Koreans swear by, from the Mizon Snail Slime Range to some sort of lotion made from pigs
source: elleuk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
When fleeing from the cops at 110 mph, try not to have a handcuff key in your rectum
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
China destroys the Sphinx. Don't worry, there's still another one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEM Saginaw)
 
 
 
It's National Hug a Newsperson Day, which is meaningless to those of us with restraining orders
source: wnem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Using infrared satellite images, notable space archaeologist discovers Viking settlement site on the southwest coast of Newfoundland. Bonus: Space archeologist reads Fark, and is a friend of Drew's
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Walmart sells T-shirts with University of Maryland logo superimposed on map of Massachusetts. Then it gets weird
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter