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Sun April 03, 2016
(Mountain Xpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this buffet line. Difficulty: no soylent green
source: mountainx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Dear Millennials: Your financial woes are not your parents' problem, society's problem and certainly not the government's problem. YOU are the reason you can't afford your lifestyle, and you are both the problem and the solution. Love, Someone Other Than an Old Fart
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Orange County gives out reward money to those who helped out in finding those three prison escapees earlier this year -- all except for the elderly Vietnamese cab driver who was taken hostage, convinced one to give up and escaped with information
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Another reason to hate hipsters, they get all stupid when trying to fit a large sofa in a modestly sized car in order to get it back to their closet apartment. Absolutely no sense of space
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bodhi)
 
 
 
Photoshop y'all some horse surfing
source: horse-surfing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why taking cars off the road in large very polluted cites doesn't always work. Case in point: Mexico City
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poynter Institute)
 
 
 
Heads up: With the latest AP style update, you no longer have to capitalize internet
source: poynter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Muslim family removed from plane for "safety reasons," as having more than one Muslim on a passenger airliner is inherently dangerous
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Small-town Indiana pastor by day goes full Walter White at night with synthetic marijuana operation
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sparkonit)
 
 
 
People who constantly point out typos and grammatical errors online are pretty much jerks, scientists find. Such people are generally less open, and are more likely to judge you for your mistakes more negatively than anyone else
source: sparkonit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Sure, Farkers love cats. They even get their own day (and their own tag). But when was the last time you heard about a hero cat rescuing people? Yeah, thought so. So enjoy some heart-warming tales about the superior species
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
If you left a backhoe on some train tracks near Philadelphia, some people would really like to speak with you
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Another piece of the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 plane has most likely been found, this time on Rodrigues Island in the Mauritius. For a missing plane this wreck sure gets around
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Pay What You Want: 'Start a Side Business' Bundle. How to become one of those eBay sellers you hate - and make a nifty profit doing it. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Photoshop this DJ on the ones and twos
source: images1.miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
CSB: Sibling injuries
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Eight canned meat products taste-tested, both straight from the can and fried. Is SPAM the best of them all, or do competitors have a legitimate (canned) beef?
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Man plows into skateboarder with car, then stops to help the person he injured--only to get hit by another driver himself and the skateboarder trapped underneath a car
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
What happens when you rank last in something and you make it even worse? Welcome to Louisiana's sales tax system
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Couple builds 4,000 square-foot "dream house" from 9 used shipping containers that cost $2,200 each; still manage to blow $500,000 on it before landscaping
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Bad news: you test positive for prostate cancer. Good News: it's a false positive. Worse news: you find out after your prostate has been removed
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
The missing Wright Brothers patent was found in a cave. Your move, Tony Stark
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
From the heart of beautiful downtown Juneau, Alaska it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 02, 2016
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Q: How much do Doctors make? A: More than you
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The Long Life (and Slow Death?) of the Prank Phone Call
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
American mosque attacked, dozens reported injured
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Norway advertising campaign uses Hitler, Gaddafi and Kim Jong-il teddy bears to scare parents... about dust. Because what's controversial about associating the world's worst human scum with cute teddy bears
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Shake your head in disagreement or raise your hand to make a point? We must now vote on your removal comrade for violation of safe space policy 6c, inappropriate movements during a debate
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Husband obviously got his inspiration from Kathy Bates and the movie "Misery" when he tied his wife to a bunk bed and smashed her ankles with a hammer so she wouldn't escape
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little brat in a cage
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
British police catch serial shoplifter by using the novel technique of ... recognising him
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Former second in command at the L.A. Sheriff's Department Paul Tanaka claims he was just following orders when he helped hide an inmate from the FBI. Has this defense EVER worked?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop these terrible eyes and terrible claws
source: s1.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Today's Fark ready headline: Turkeys' lust can be alarming
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Let's see how bicyclists react to being asked to obey the speed limit
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 25 Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Don't like the legal drone surveying your neighbor's home? Shoot it out of the sky, because 'Murica, F*ck YEAH
source: okcfox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Tri-Rail train with 56 commuters derailed in the rainy dark of early morning, fuel leaking from a gash in the tank, and the train was reported to be on fire. Why the Florida tag exists: no one could find it
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered why people started dunking their doughnuts? No? Well, that's okay, we're going to tell you anyway, as soon as we wipe this coffee off of our chin
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Multicolor Energy Efficient LED Smartphone-controlled Ultra-Lightbulb. How many Farkers does it take to change a lightbulb? (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Thanks to Airbnb you can now spend the night in the middle of a shark tank, in a gingerbread house, or in a lighthouse
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
91-year-old man is a member of his Texas neighborhood citizen patrol, says his main job is to look for people who exhibit suspicious behavior. Like being out on the streets after 7:30 at night
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
It's one of the most popular drinks in the Bahamas yet nobody in America is talking about the Goombay Smash
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
The surprising comeback of exorcism is turning heads
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cowpoke)
 
 
 
We're looking for the best books about cowboys, outlaws, gunfights, posses, revenge and romance. It's the Saturday Book Thread, pardner...mosey up to the bar and tell us your favorites
source: americancowboy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
It is toad-ally awesome as these toads are getting a wild ride courtesy of helpful humans
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Mother charged with child neglect after she committed the heinous act of making her daughters walk to school after they missed the bus
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Can you tell the difference between a non-load bearing decorative balustrade rail and a safety barrier meant to keep you from falling 30 feet into the river?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Best Korea apparently has yet to catch on to the fact that phones are cameras as well
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beefcake
source: fresher.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Looks like we're going to need a bigger western ghost town
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
A police chief recruits a 'Police Cat' on the advice of a 5-year-old girl. Just in time for Caturday
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
News: Woman seriously hurt by hit-and-run driver while riding bicycle. Fark: One of her son's classmates admits in class that it was his father who hit her
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
When you're a 44-year-old grandfather of two, you should certainly care more about your granddaughters' welfare than your truck being towed away
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Kids seemed to be pointed in the right direction of life after they form a human arrow to help cops look for suspected burglars
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
You know, if you're going to go to the trouble of faking your own kidnapping, you might want to ask for a bit more than $150 in "ransom"
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The 40-year-old virgin
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 01, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
And now, the Fark Weird News Quiz. Hope you studied hard this week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
All right, pop quiz. Gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover. You're a hundred feet away... Jack?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Since everybody's been trying it anyway, "Hack the Pentagon" is now a $150K contest
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Nimbu Hari Mirch Ka Murgh Curry
source: food.ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Currywurst
source: en.m.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FDA just figured out there should be limits on arsenic in baby rice cereal
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plane train
source: 1.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flight Global)
 
 
 
787: OMG your airspeed is dropping precipitously. Dive. Dive. Boeing: April Fools
source: flightglobal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
England is going crazy for izakayas and Japanese-style pub food and drink. "Its focus on lean meats, rice and vegetables fits perfectly with the high-protein, low-carb, gluten-averse dieters of London in 2016"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Texas lawmakers love the unborn so much they force an expectant mother to feel her body slowly strangle the life out of a fetus until it's stillborn (contains photo that may be disturbing)
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No matter what side of an issue you are on, it isn't usually good form for a straight up news story to call something "so-called"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Another reason not to trust the man or pigs: Pigs squeal to one of their own about a man trying to save on shipping costs by packing 20 pigs in his own van
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tucker the turtle can't fart, gets treated for the bends
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here. Just a police officer giving a rectal search on the side of the road. Of course no drugs were found
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Because no one finds terrorism funny, newspaper forced to apologize for their 'Paddy Jihaddy' April Fool's Day prank
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Paring knife, check. Carefully remove excessive fat from fish, check. Prepare frying pan, check. Release fish back into its native goldfish tank?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
High school football player tackles shoplifter. If he clears concussion protocol, he should even be able to tell his grandkids about it
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
This dude got so drunk he couldn't set a gas station on fire. Not that he didn't try. And try. And try
source: stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And in today's OCD news, this California guy has spent the last three years building the world's most elaborate marble maze in his garage and he's not even close to done
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oxford Mail)
 
 
 
Nobody's sure if this thing is an April Fool's joke by the newspaper or a tuber-type Medusa that just ported over from a nearby circle of hell, but now you look at it for a while
source: oxfordmail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Hello. My name is Sue, Sue Magina. Is the governor available? I'd like to discuss my menstrual cycle
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamie Oliver)
 
 
 
Thai green chicken curry
source: jamieoliver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Murgh Makhani (Butter Chicken)
source: ecurry.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Police arrest three bikini-wearing women accused of beating up a fourth bikini-wearing woman after reviewing video taped evidence over and over and over and over again
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Too late for Kanazawa Curry Cola?
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Today's news came as a shock to everyone that forgot what day it is
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Girl designs a prosthetic superhero arm that can shoot glitter and names it 'Project Unicorn.'
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
250 families in Flint have clean water to drink because this woman squatted on Dr. Pepper's Twitter handle
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pieta)
 
 
 
Photoshop these screamers
source: api.ning.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
I used to be a philanderer like you, until I took a bullet to the knee and somehow the testicles
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Questions still remain over the source of a mystery bacteria which killed 18 people in the Midwest. Health officials immediately wonder how a Carnival cruise ship made it all the way into Wisconsin and Michigan
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're going to go around anonymously groping joggers, you probably don't want to brag about it on YouTube
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YLE (Finland))
 
 
 
Throwing cola in the face of the finance minister is just fine in Finland apparently
source: yle.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Chettinad Mutton Blood Masala
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Have you seen this man? We really hope not. (w/ pic)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lamb Saagwala
source: greatcurryrecipes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mountain Eagle)
 
 
 
Three people injured in head-on collision on Curry highway, naan killed
source: mountaineagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
EPA shuts down fracking study so EPA employee quits, files FOIAs, and finishes the study on his own
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Canadian government releases Wolverine's World War I service papers
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What could possibly be more stupid than getting a tattoo of your best mate's penis on your leg while drunk? How about the piece you decide to have inked over it, in order to cover it up. (Mildly not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Churchill: Precursor of a Farker
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Officials say Nerf gun wars become less safe when participants add drive-bys and nudity rules
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Ontario teacher now up to 38 charges of sexual misconduct. That's almost 40 charges and that's terrible
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
North Korea 'shops Kim Jong-Un to make him look thinner as he warned North Koreans to begin preparing for famine
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you left six live WWII anti-tank rockets behind a bus stop in Essex, the police would really like to speak with you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Best Korea continues their furious attack on their most hated enemy ... the sea. Victory is assured. We will prevail
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Ten common pieces of travel advice you should actually never follow. It's not on the list, so I'm assuming you still should always look for the biggest, toughest local and punch him in the face as a way of getting respect
source: travel.usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson County Daily Journal)
 
 
 
It's always important to get to know your coworkers. It builds camaraderie, boosts productivity, and prevents those embarrassing moments when an on-duty police officer solicits sex from an undercover officer
source: dailyjournal.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A brief history of some of most notorious, successful and truly cringe-worthy April Fools day jokes. Come for the washing of the lions, stay for the Swiss spaghetti harvest
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Here's your average Internet content farm's guide to winning April Fools Day
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Federal court rules that skim milk is an imitation milk product, will now be labeled 'milky white water'
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
School district forced to distribute atheist and satanic literature after they illegally handed out bibles. C'mon down for your free copy of "The Satanic Children's Big Book of Activities"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Scarlett Robohansson
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Oven-roasted eggplant and butternut squash curry
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal Special: Curry Bible. Flying Spaghetti Monster...confused. (UnSponsored Link)
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
Got a tattoo in a "I will never have a job that will pay taxes" location? Good news: You can now join the Navy. They want you, they want you, they want you as a new recruit
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
U.S., Britain to stage cyberattack test on nuclear plant, exchange nuclear waste. Yeah, this should end well. Nothing to worry about. Not a thing could go wrong. Sleep tight
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
U.K. minimum wage increases to $10.35 today. Collapse of civilisation tomorrow
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Phall, the hottest curry of them all
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Thai coconut green curry with chicken
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
What do geniuses have in common with autistic children? Aside from being vaccinated properly, that is
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
World's obese now outnumber the underweight
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Police finally make an arrest in the case of the girl who got groped and pepper-sprayed at a Trump rally. Specifically, the girl who got groped and pepper-sprayed
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
You can stop now, the prize for Best April Fools Surprise has already been won
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these nine balls
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Second Generation Lytro Camera. How many photographers does it take to change a lightbulb? 50. One to change the bulb and 49 to say "I could have done that." (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amateur Gourmet)
 
 
 
Nepalese chicken tarkari
source: amateurgourmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Sweet potato and chickpea curry
source: cooking.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
Scottish Rabbit Curry
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I can haz gender assignment surgery?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
While you were busy worrying about Diebold's electronic voting machines, this guy spent the past decade manipulating Central and South American elections, and his boss is in talks with a U.S. candidate
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
U mad? Don b h8r, dis totes on fleek
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Couple awakes to 400-pound bear licking their bedroom window. Same thing happened to me last time I got drunk at a pride parade
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chowhound)
 
 
 
Chicken tikka masala
source: chowhound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Saveur)
 
 
 
Chicken vindaloo
source: saveur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
Panang vegetable curry with jasmine rice
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC GoodFood)
 
 
 
Thai pork and peanut curry
source: bbcgoodfood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, your cruise ship is now arriving at Pier 1...Pier 2...Pier 3
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mothers mostly hire magicians or clowns for an 8-year old's birthday party. Mostly (possibly Not safe for work)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Coconut curried butternut squash soup
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamie Oliver)
 
 
 
Spicy prawn curry with quick pilau rice
source: jamieoliver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After shooting and killing an unarmed man, the departmental investigation leads to a severe slap on the wrist for a Mesa police officer. Oh, wait, the victim was melanin deficient. Switch that to "fired and facing second degree murder charges"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NYC riders at Herald Square subway station discover that, yes, there are smells worse than drunken hobo piss
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
Quick chicken curry
source: myrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The CIA would like to assure everyone that the explosive they left on a Loudoun County school bus after it was used for a training session would not have exploded without a blasting cap so you don't have to ask about any of this
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Trooper who was shot in that Virginia Greyhound Bus station shootout has died
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mississippi Senate approves scariest anti-LGBT "religious liberty" bill yet. Because unlike Georgia and North Carolina, Mississippi doesn't have anything of value for outsiders to boycott
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 31, 2016
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Pentagon: No, we have not created Skynet yet. But we totally could, so don't fark with us
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
While Amazon is still working out delivering small items with drones, Atlas has perfected delivering full sized inflatable slides right to your front yard using a Boeing 767
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fabulous Foods)
 
 
 
Creamy Thai coconut curry tofu with vegetables
source: fabulousfoods.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Southern Indian lamb curry
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut says, "Screw it, we're stuffing doughnuts with cheese now"
source: thecomeback.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bon Appetit)
 
 
 
Madras curried mussels
source: bonappetit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Red curry pork belly corndogs
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Fark, behold your new snack overlord: Fried bourbon-soaked Twinkies
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Incredible hot curry
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Hot and sweet pepper curry sauce with chicken, lamb or beef
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bon Appetit)
 
 
 
Northern Thai chicken khao soi
source: bonappetit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Pioneer Woman)
 
 
 
Coconut curry shrimp
source: thepioneerwoman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Lemon curry
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Chicken thighs in mild red curry
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Green coconut curry hot wings
source: tablespoon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bon Appetit)
 
 
 
Massaman chicken
source: bonappetit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Yellow curry kabobs
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Curried crab with coconut and chicken
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Thai red curry with vegetables
source: cookieandkate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these downtown lovers
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Japanese curry (wafuu)
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
18 toothbrushes in one patient's stomach? Well, Oral B. (Some graphic pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Once Upon A Chef)
 
 
 
Perfect chicken curry
source: onceuponachef.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Luis Obispo Tribune)
 
 
 
There aren't many 95-year-old WWII pilots still around. There are even fewer still actively flying. "We save a little time when we go places ... my wife, she thinks it's barbaric to drive to Los Angeles." Now get off his tarmac
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Because people suck, we need laws like this
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
NewsFlash
 
Four people shot in Virginia, including a police officer. Suspect dead
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A Pope may have started April Fools' Day. That would explain those funky red shoes
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Remove one letter from a movie title and describe the new plot. Example: The Seen Samurai. They're done sneaking around
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: When you make a curry, are you cooking for the heat? The flavor profile? Trying to make sure your rice/roti aren't boring? Show us your curries and tell us why they're the real deal
source: caribbeanpot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
As if Zika in the US wasn't bad enough, cybernetic mosquitos have been discovered in Northern California
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Miniature pig herd takes over Austrian forest. You know who else liked a wee sty in Austria?
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Ugly? The State Department suggests you watch your back. Your ugly, ugly back
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seven Days)
 
 
 
What Do Cyclists' Hand Signals Mean? No, not that one. We all know what THAT ONE means. Even my kids know that one
source: sevendaysvt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Biggest obstacle self-driving cars face is the crappy condition of US roads, according to Volvo CEO: "It can't find the lane markings. You Americans need to paint your bloody roads"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Let's reboot Mythbusters as a reality show, that surely can't fail
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
If you want to sell pot in Worcester, Massachusetts, you have to give the city a share of the revenue. Gross, not net
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what is being written on this whiteboard
source: freeenglish4u.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Armed squirrel hunters caused a lockdown at an elementary school. That's what we get for trying to educate squirrels
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boulder in British road will not be removed because it's been there 11,000 years with almost no problems whatsoever
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
There's so drunk you text the wrong person, and then there's so drunk you have a text argument with yourself
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Not to harsh your mellow, but... the dolls are coming out of the walls in Denver. (We think)
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nautil.us)
 
 
 
Cities found to be home to populations of super-smart raccoons: "We've devised all sorts of ways of protecting our garbage, which all fail"
source: nautil.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Student attempts to copy two Matthew Broderick movies. He never makes it to NORAD or Chicago
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
Local surfers face a federal class-action lawsuit for telling people to go back to the Valley, man
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Fast food workers are asked the question, "What fast food should we never order?" Once again, the answer is contained within the question
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Colombian solider who went missing during jungle exercises found alive after spending 23 days on the Bear Grylls diet plan
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Us Weekly)
 
 
 
Double date fun: Rupert Murdoch & Jerry Hall with Rupert's ex & Vladimir Putin. No, really
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago Police Union needs a janitor, so the obvious choice is a suspended cop facing murder charges for shooting someone in the back 16 times
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man holds up "Death to America" sign on busy roadway in Florida. Hilarity ensues
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: My boyfriend caught and subdued a burglar at our apartment. Then he went all Daredevil on his ass. Should I be worried?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pentagon renames "fire bases." Subby votes for "Gun shooty locations"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A collection of defaced property featuring the work of graffiti terrorist Banksy is up for auction, and experts believe it will bring in $500,000
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
is screwed
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"We were sitting in our legion and there was about four or five of us and this topic about headcheese came up. I don't even know how it got started, but it went on about an hour and I said if you guys are so smart, let's have a headcheese contest"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Guy who isn't getting any decides to cockblock his entire neighborhood
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
"One thing led to another, I feel so bad about it, but it happens. We're family," says man stabbed by his brother with a fork over a pot roast
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
"Foxy" the Chihuahua weighs just seven pounds, including a massive tumor she's been carrying around
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Gun toting suspect wearing Cookie Monster pajamas sought by authorities. Om Nom Nom Bang Bang Bang
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"We have absolutely no idea how the sofa got up there - we're baffled. I know it's been a bit windy recently but there's no way this could have been wind"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Someday, someone is going to park the Planters Nutmobile next to the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile and the resulting photo will break Instagram
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
That Irish boxer who beat up half of Turkey is facing nine years in jail for it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Now you could win several million dollars from playing video games
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Disney faces backlash for announcing to the world that Mickey was really a woman this whole time
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: SitePoint Premium Tech Courses: Lifetime Subscription 5,350+ Cutting-Edge Videos & E-Books on Coding, UX Design & More. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Dad's stuck in the compost bin. Quick. Get the camera phone
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
You're Doing It Wrong: Woman gets pedicure, loses toe
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
John Hinckley, Jr., may soon accomplish something no other man has. Never has anyone shot an American president, and then walked the streets full-time as a free man
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
As if you needed another reason to stay out of Mississippi, they're about to pass a law that allows a place of worship to create an Army of God to protect congregations
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
MI Gov Rick Snyder named one of "The World's Most Disappointing Leaders." Obvious tag missing due to lead poisoning
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
There's driving drunk, and then there's "driving in your underwear while wearing a child's snowsuit" drunk
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Higher Ed)
 
 
 
College in New York City eliminates ALL men's rooms and women's rooms in favor of gender-neutral bathrooms, labeled by whether or not they have urinals
source: insidehighered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this speedy moment
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I just learned my boyfriend uploaded videos of himself to a gay pornographic website; it's just him solo, but you can see his face. This is the best relationship I've had in years; what should I do? Should I stay or should I go?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Indian Point nuclear power plant shut down because of missing bolts, abnormal vibration. Oops
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Trapper captures nine foot long, dog-killin' gator with just a baited hook, and a .44 magnum on a stick
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Best fetch playing dog EVER is one that brings you back a pound of weed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man arrested after doing yoga on airplane. That's certainly an awkward position to find yourself in
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
What happy women do on weekends. Conspicuously absent from the list: You
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Customer: "Hello, Viking River Cruises? My wife suddenly died, so I'll be traveling alone." Cruise company: "Thanks for telling us. That will be an $853 rebooking fee"
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Old VHS tapes are part of a growing band of old technology now being collected like antiques - leading to the phrase "antech" to describe the new market"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Want to know the secret to a long and disease-free life? Ask this village in Italy with 300 centenarians about rosemary
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to able to give directions to your house by just saying "It's the murder house?' This is your lucky day. Bring money
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Couples that share hobbies tend to have healthier marriages. Just make sure that hobby isn't "sex with your high school students"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man commits suicide in housewares section of target using a kitchen knife, store remains open for another TWO HOURS while people continue to shop around the crime scene
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 569: "Welcome to the Gun Show" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 30, 2016
(Music News)
 
 
 
Lady Gaga and Joe Biden team up for Sexual Assault, rally, unfortunate comma placement
source: music-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Today's Fark Ready Headline: "Central Texas mother got drunk, let sex offender tattoo her three kids"
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hello police, I'd like to report a revenge farting
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ValueWalk)
 
 
 
Skynet on the verge of controlling the US nuclear arsenal
source: valuewalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There's a reason home improvement isn't a thing in Japan
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dying hamster sets out to complete bucket list
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Step 1: Have uncontrolled tics and outbursts because of Tourette's syndrome , Step 2: Grab a chainsaw climb a tree, Step 3: Profit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
It's bad enough being murdered, dismembered, burned, and then disposed of in a gravel pit...but being urinated on by the cadaver dogs searching for your body has got to be the cherry on top of the crap sundae
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hobbit became extinct earlier than previously thought, say paleoanthropologists who suspect Homo Sapiens had a hand in slaying every one
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
How was The Associated Press able to stay in Nazi Germany up until the United States entered World War II? By making a deal with the devil, apparently
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Missourian)
 
 
 
"Trust me. I'm qualified to discuss reproductive health because I was once an embryo myself. Also, with my single history prerequisite, I can say that abortion and slavery are like 99.2% the same thing"
source: columbiamissourian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
CNBC's tutorial on secure password creation sends user passwords in the clear to 30 advertisers. A great way to really drive the "never share your password online" message home
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cold spot
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Raw Capitalism" blamed for spread of prostitutes in Copenhagen. They should probably use lotion or something
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Search and rescue doesn't mind going and getting you if you climb a mountain and get stuck in a blizzard. Unless you're wearing shorts and the only thing you brought is a selfie stick
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dealbreaker)
 
 
 
The Court-ordered monitor who is supposed to ensure HSBC is not laundering money..again..is just a wee bit suspicious of the loans it made to a company exporting mini-skirts to Iran, and the customer who used a garbage bag of cash to open an account
source: dealbreaker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bill Cosby to be exposed by playboy
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
No charges in fatal police shooting of unarmed, handcuffed black man, possibly because well, HEY LOOK OVER THERE IT'S A UNICORN *runs away*
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
But, seriously. Shouldn't we all just assume at this point that *all* retention ponds have at least one body in them?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump: When abortion is outlawed, women who seek them out will have to be punished. Not really sure how, but maybe something involving coat hangers would work
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Dealer: Would you like to test drive the new Mercedes? Customer: Sure. I'll just give you this stolen car to hold as collateral
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
No, you aren't being paranoid -- that really is a secret camera mounted on the lightpole which the police won't talk to the media about
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
How you can use your cellphone to determine whether your microwave is going to kill you via leaky radiation
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Most Southern headline you'll read today: Confederate jacket sparks dispute between Huntsville collector & New Orleans museum
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Boeing says "Thank you, Washington State for all the tax breaks. Here are another 4000 pink slips to show our gratitude"
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for my pesky kid
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vocativ)
 
 
 
Hollywood is lobbying to keep revenge porn legal
source: vocativ.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
UKIP councillor speaks own mind on Twitter, immediately backpedals, is supported by party because she's a trans woman
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Starting next week everyone immigrating to the UK must be compulsorily microchipped and its details registered on an approved database. Wait, it's just for dogs
source: stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Beatnik)
 
 
 
Photoshop the original portable TV
source: oldpicsarchive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A former teen mom who dropped out of high school after one week at age 15, has just become the top education offical in Los Angeles County. So kids, remember, if you want to achieve your dreams, stay in schoo-erm, well, uhh
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book Resources)
 
 
 
In a move sure to win over fans, Tick reboot to be grounded and gritty
source: comicbookresources.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Firefighter killed when tree falls on truck in Weare. Who's on first? I don't know
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump the Lesser apologizes for a tweet he sent out falsely identifying the woman pictured giving a Nazi salute at his father's rally as a "Bernie Sanders supporter" saying he "got bad info" and apparently does not read the news or know how to use Google
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Having trouble getting your 36-year-old snowflake to finally leave the nest? Sue her to kick her out
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Red Bull)
 
 
 
Have any old games lying around? You might want to check, because if you have any of these old classics, they could make you rich
source: redbull.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
New Oculus Rift users suffering from "Oculus Face." Won't somebody think of the Oculus users?
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Best Korea says they are ready for a 'pre-emptive nuclear strike' on the US... promise not to hurt the Pacific
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
PSA: Never leave your grocery list lying around unattended or your 6-year-old son might add a few items. Bonus: Future Farker
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Actual scientific study: People zone out on purpose when tasks are not challenging enough
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I'm not saying Obamacare made it worse for veterans to get services with the VA. But something did
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
We should probably just wall off some counties in California
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The rent is too damn high and the bedbugs are too damn small
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why white bread is junk food for ducks, explained in the most ludicrous English accent you've ever heard. It's not cool to make fun of the way people talk, but it's like, "We've doon soom research aboot whoy peeeple feed whoyt breat tay doocks"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
First-graders in Alaska accused of trying to kill classmate, although it was a Waldorf School so all they had access to were all-natural, non-toxic poisons that came with the seaweed they ate for lunch
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
When you're here. You're always welcome. Unless you don't like. Writing at all. Welcome one and all. Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
President Eisenhower's great-granddaughter says vegan diets could attract extraterrestrial life...especially a vegan diet high in mushrooms
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Well, subby can't improve on that headline
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Hello 911? I've got an emergency - I got hamburger instead of bacon on my pizza
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Best Korea's leader tells his people to prepare for devastating famine. Says his plan to fish the oceans with rockets did not work the way he expected it to
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
And upon video review of 305 million years of evolution, Idmonarachne brasieri is not a spider. Repeat, not a spider (w/ pic of not-spider)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
You know...I don't know what it is...but I just feel like I have something inside of me that needs to come out (w/ mugshot)
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(Mashable)
 
 
 
When you ask women to share cleavage selfies on social media, expect to get trolled hard
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Womb with a brew
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
The Karma bunny would like a word with the neighbors who stole Easter eggs meant for a boy with Down Syndrome
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Shop)
 
 
 
Fark Store Daily Deal: Piper Raspberry Pi Computer Kit: Learn Real Engineering Skills (While Playing Minecraft) with This Full Raspberry Pi Toolbox. Creative Mode engaged. (Sponsored Link)
source: deals.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Woman dies, man injured in James River 'drowning machine'. Whose marketing department came up with that name?
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Microsoft's racist AI chatbot returns to Twitter. What could possibly go wrong, go wrong, go wrong, go wrong
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Donald, you're arguing like a 5-year-old"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Internet porn has made Millennials bad at sex
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these protectors
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Naming your dog 'Dash' could cause your bank to melt down
source: in.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man arrested for protesting at a government hearing into Arizona's voting problems is also charged with assault because the officer patting him down for weapons pricked his finger on an open safety pin hanging from his shorts
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
San Francisco State University dreads the repercussions after black student argues with white student over his hair style
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
12-year-old girl dyes her hair blue to help get into character as an eel in a school production of 'The Little Mermaid.' Since this is Fark, it's a pretty safe bet that school administrators had an issue with it
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
City firefighters blame city's fire department for starting fire in fire station by ignoring fire code, want someone fired
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Passive-aggressive solutions to first world problems
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Is our construction bothering you, neighbor? Suck it
source: la.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
FBI spills water on iPhone they just cracked
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Scientists say new male contraceptive pill prevents pregnancy in rabbits. What the hell are these guys DOING in those labs?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus: Free to good home. Must bring own truck
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
WW II survivor sends his subterranean recollection of the bombs falling on his city of Naples to geologist, finds "hidden world" beneath the city
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Temba, his eyes swollen; Lhotse Face, black
source: kristof.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crain's Detroit)
 
 
 
You can now designate who gets control of your social media accounts after you die, at least if you lived in Michigan when you stopped living
source: crainsdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 29, 2016
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Yearbooks of 1916 are the World War I-era equivalent of Facebook posts
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Man on Death Row dies ... of natural causes after 35 years
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
CEO who caused a gas leak that devastated a California community gets a nice, hefty $3 million bonus
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thirteen Detroit principals caught sayof in bribery scandal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Rumble strips on historic route 66 play 'America The Beautiful' - If you go the speed limit which is why no one's ever heard it
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Google announces Fiber Phone, a home phone service based on Google Fiber. In related news, NASA is designing a horse-drawn Mars rover
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Wanted: Kitten cuddlers
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Delta employee arrested for having $282k in backpack. Employee argues he was just going to pay his baggage fees in cash
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Six Flags planned solar farm fails to win praise from environmentalists. Difficulty: plan involves removing 15,000 trees
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
For Sale: 6 bedroom, 3.5 bath stately colonial designed with all the character and charm of the early 1900s. Includes creepy stalker called "The Watcher" who will ask you to "fill the house with the young blood I requested" (w/pics)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Damn, the queue for that toilet is a bit long. Wonder why there's no line for this one...whoa
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Seattle's 'Man in Tree' charged with malicious mischief and assault: "He's being held on $50,000 bail. If he makes bail he's ordered to have no contact with the tree"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Could the great Tampon Tax revolt of 2016 be the new Boston Tea Party? (looking around for a Bay to toss them into)
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
FCC considers subsidizing internet connectivity for low income Americans. Didn't those moochers just get refrigerators?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Turning Central Park into a skyscraper wins top prize in Batshiat Crazy Ideas of 2016 competition
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Yellowstone bison attacks are on the rise because cell phones have sh*tty cameras
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FStoppers)
 
 
 
Photoshop this poseur
source: cdn.fstoppers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Pics or it didn't...oh
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Jesus falls off cross during crucifixion reenactment in Guatemala. They should have used longer nails
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier)
 
 
 
Teen poses as state senator, tours Ohio high school. Principal given detention for gullibility
source: thecourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When the battlefield meets social media: Iraq soldiers are now letting people vote on Instagram if ISIS fighters they capture should be executed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press of Atlantic City)
 
 
 
"To Kill a Mockingbird" author Harper Lee called Atlantic City's Trump Taj Mahal "worst punishment God can devise" for sinners
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
11 things Germany does better than anybody else. Trying to take over Europe surprisingly absent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Researchers performing necropsies on sperm whales washed up on the beach discover their stomachs contain fishing nets, car parts, plastic buckets, wooden puppet, crickets
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Police are advocating body cams, but only to spy on defense attorneys who have to depose them in the court hallway...by law
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Completely in touch with reality Florida governor asks Yale to move to his state after 315 years in Connecticut
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UN commission decides the Falkland Islands lie in Argentinian Waters. New Order heard prepping a follow-up single to Blue Monday
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Gun shop owner is being credited with foiling a possible mass shooting by turning away a customer. "Just the look in his eye... there was something about him. I don't know. You really can't explain it. He was going to do something"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Spitting and throwing drinks at the 7-11 clerk when she cards you will not get you booze, ladies
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Recipe to becoming an ISIS supporter: start with a little lonely Midwesterner, sprinkle in some anti-vaxxer conspiracy theories, and add 97 twitter accounts
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(CBC)
 
 
 
29-year-old member of Canadian billionaire family who took full responsibility for killing three kids and their grandfather while driving drunk sentenced to jail until age 39 and taking taxis until age 51. Ergo, socialized medicine cures affluenza
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Why'd you stop me, officer? Well, for starters, the woman riding on top of your car FOR THE PAST SIX MILES
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago has itself a new police superintendent, handpicked by the greatest mayor in the city's history. This should put an end to any controversy about CPD whatsoever, right?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Luckily for archaeologists ISIS isn't as good at destroying ruins as it is at making them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Concord Monitor)
 
 
 
"Is maple syrup extraction causing earthquakes through reverse fracking?" Sounds plausible
source: granitegeek.concordmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop what else is going on in this alley
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(Sunday World)
 
 
 
Lamar Odom back in drinking-before-church shape
source: sundayworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Editor of Chinese newspaper resigns upon learning he lives in China
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Man charged with selling pot from wife's daycare center. Cops became suspicious when the kids giggled all the time but never cried
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Magnets: how do they work in my stomach?
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Turns out ISIL are pretentious trend-chasing farkwads in addition to international terrorists, with manuals like "How to Make Artisanal Bombs in the Name of Allah"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
From the 'Twist My Arm' department: "It's a time to get out there and support the bars in New Orleans by sipping on daiquiris unlike you've ever had before"
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There was a time in history when ugly-ass unicorns co-existed with humans in their search for rainbows
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter