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| Sun March 27, 2016 |
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Guy in San Francisco pays $500 a month to live in what is essentially a pillow fort in his friend's apartment
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you've got $850k to spare, you can buy the home with the tackiest '70s interior in Palm Springs
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Burners, the last bastion of anonymous communication, are about to be eliminated
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American English is becoming homogenized and we're losing most of our regional slang. What slang from your area would you like to see preserved for the rest of the country? And, no, starting another pop vs soda vs coke debate won't cut it this time
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Photoshop theme: A good lawn decoration for the White House
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When apprehended for bank robbery, telling the police that you are a member of ISIS and left a bomb in the bank isn't going to help your case
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To any of you that cared, PawPaw got his cookout, and judging by the pictures, and prices for merch, he cleaned up pretty good
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Hey, judge, ever hear of something called the 8th Amendment?
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Photoshop this synchronized swimmer
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Mexico's Easter Eve celebrations included the usual festivities; egg hunts, reflections on Jesus, burning effigies of Donald Trump, and chocolate
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Mother of two who was homeless a year ago now close to making her first million, tasting the rainbow
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"You know, if someone had just told me that beating up suspects and selling marijuana from the evidence room was wrong...I mean, this is Alabama, and no one told me the rules had changed"
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| (Some Kilted Guy) |
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At long last, Scottish Jews have their own official registered tartan. Both of them are overjoyed
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Massachusetts library holds a "life size" battleship game. Apparently unclear on the life size of battleships
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30+ dead and hundreds injured in suicide attack in Pakistan. Must be a day that ends in "y"
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To the traditional sounds of an English Easter - the drone of lawnmowers, the smack of leather on willow - has been added a new sound: the roar of a single motorcycle attempting to break the world Wall Of Death speed record
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Parents swarm free Easter egg hunt before the organized start time, some taking eggs from other kids' baskets. "They were kind of like Locusts"
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It doesn't look good for the survival of humanity if Snopes has to run an article proving an Onion story about Cubans clinging to Air Force One as it leaves Cuba is false
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Fark ready headline: "Arrest made at Easter Egg Hunt" Fark ready quote: "things escalated quickly"
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Hi, ho Silv... ah, hell
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Church vows to continue controversial early morning services because demons are most active at 3 in the morning and it's the only time to give parishioners "deliverance" from "demonic soul ties." Sorry, neighbors
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While neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays our trusty mail couriers, the weather is no match for plainclothes NYPD cops
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Good, it's about time. Using DNA matching to crack down on people who leave dog poop all over the place is just what society needs. These people are just as nasty as cigarette flickers ... just vile
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Photoshop a new Ben and Jerry's Flavor based on the 2016 election
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| (Some Guy) |
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CSB Sunday Morning: The Great Hunt
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Peeps are the worst Easter candy
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Peeps are the best Easter candy
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Warning to parents: Did you know that there is now pornography on the internet?
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Okay, so you've finished your Easter egg hunt and stuffed yourself silly with chocolate. Here's a challenge to bring yourself out of your sugary haze
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Research shows that birth control pill use is linked to fewer knee injuries in teen girls. And it's not for the reason that you think it is
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Portland City Council sets aside $30,000 for homeless services. Wait - did I say services? I meant for one-way bus tickets out of town
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103-year-old Scottish woman who loves whisky, curry and naan nominated for national Curry Lover of the Year award. "She was famous within the family for her curry suppers, which she would hold on a regular basis"
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California further devolves into a Hellscape by raising the minimum wage to $15 per hour
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"In addition to the DVDs I ordered box contained one housecat. Would not order again"
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The lost art of the knocker upper
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in beautiful downtown Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
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Ugly-ass endangered warty piglet born at Newquay Zoo (pic)
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Tokyo police unveil dangerously furry uniformed dog-woman anime mascot who urges citizens to watch out for crimes and report them on new police app
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| Sat March 26, 2016 |
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Manchester police use proceeds of crime to buy Easter eggs and deliver them to all children in the city who have been directly affected by crime in the past year
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Here's what to do with all your leftover Easter chocolate. Wait, leftover?
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Disabled puppy learns how to walk with the help of his doggy therapists. He can make it on his own
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Ever hear about Irish wakes being absolutely insane drinking affairs? Well they are
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The PC police are now after the timeless symbol of Christ's resurrection: Cadbury's eggs
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Finders keepers, losers weepers? Not in this case. If you find and pocket unattended money, you are going to get arrested if they find you
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Here's all the flavors of Cadbury's Easter Creme Eggs, reviewed. As always, stay away from the chocolate-creme ones: "I have no idea how these things are still being manufactured. They are horrible"
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Haven't seen your estranged wife in sixteen years? That's just too bad, you still owe child support for her one-year-old kid
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Photoshop theme: song lyrics of the '70s
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"Apparently I'm too sexy for my teaching"
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New study on heavy marijuana use confirms what many of us have suspected for a long time
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is your co-pilot speaking, and I am FREAKIN' WASTED, BRO
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There is a battle brewing over square donuts
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Police search for masked holdup suspect in distinctive sweatshirt. It's insanely popular, and you have to wait months to get it
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Do you drive? Put your phone here. (Sponsored Link)
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The most powerful, influential voice on the road to the White House is none other than Pat Sajak, I must say
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Jesus Christ, go be gay somewhere else
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Photoshop this good guy
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Put on your toques and grab your hockey sticks: Fark Party Windsor, Ontario, Saturday, March 26, 2016, at Cheetah's of Windsor. 7 p.m. 'til whenever
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R.I.P. UK's The Independent newspaper - 1986 - 2016
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Saturday Book Thread: What are the best books about the fall of civilization and/or the end of the world? (LGT to R.E.M. for obvious reasons)
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Florida county restricts watering lawns with fresh or reclaimed water because a) there's a drought, b) water reservoirs are dangerously low, or C) to teach the grass a lesson
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Shoplifter flees Walmart after being spotted, forgets the 11 year-old he was babysitting and brought along with him
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Pizza Squirrel gets sick of New York City subway pizza, heads to Chicago to try theirs
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The Dildos will get two at the same time
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THE EGGS. THE EGGS. THE EGGS ARE ON the counter, waiting. What's your favorite way to cook an egg?
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Today's "most Canadian story of the year" contestant features a Mountie shutting down the highway so that a beaver can cross it
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Not to make you weep for our future, but children these days spend less time outside than prison inmates
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Tired of being upstaged by Jesus and Mary, Satan makes an appearance in a steak
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Bricklayer gets pulled over by the police, says he's not "at liberty" to explain where the ice, Viagra or his riches of $12bn comes from
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Actual headline: Police spend four days looking into mysterious hole in north London park
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Photoshop these butterfleyes
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Indiana woman missing since 1974 found in Texas, and just to think Subby gave up on looking for his keys he lost last week
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Swedish cat cares for a pair of newly hatched chicks, proving once again that a mother's love knows no bounds, especially on Caturday
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We heard solitary confinement was bad for prisoners, so we gave them a homicidal cellmate for 23 hours a day. What could possibly go wrong?
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Remember that cold case from 1957 which was miraculously solved five years ago? Turns out the prosecutor based his case on the defendant being able to teleport
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Father sues over son's '10 minutes of terror' at a ski resort in Pennsylvania
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"You wouldn't like me when I'm hangry"
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Fort Worth man selling house complete with 4,000-beer can yard art. Yeah, you can't miss it
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Britain proposes solving nation's drink problem by selling only light beer. And light wine. And light cider. And light liquor
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| Fri March 25, 2016 |
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The Friday Weird News Quiz is back, and if you answer enough of the questions correctly this week and see your name on the list, well, it'll be a Good Friday
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TV station avoids obscenity fine because nobody could understand the Scot's accent
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Someone finally brought back our girls
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Seattle Superhero says Man In Tree is "a pretty decent guy" and police should have just offered him a beer
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Spring has sprung, inspiring yet another southern girl to have sex with a dog and share the videos
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A timeline of what would happen to the Earth after a massive solar flare... and it ain't pretty
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Photoshop this pooch and his protective carrier
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Uganda to jail parents of kids who don't have autism
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Man robs bank disguised as Pippi Longstocking
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For the one millionth year in a row, Thin Mints win Most-Binged award
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DNA from Brussels suspect found all over the Paris attacks, if you know what I mean
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184-year-old finally gets his first bath
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| (biztravels.net) |
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Photoshop this Morro Rock
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Officer, no way that crack cocaine hidden under my genitals is mine ..have no idea how it got there
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20,000 marathon runners in China receive free soap, mistake them for energy bars. "Witnesses report many bars of soap, all with one bite missing, dumped at the roadside"
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An examination of how the character Ross from Friends brought down Western civilization
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And if the Syrian Civil War wasn't already an absurdly complicated mess, there may be two North Korean army units present in the country, possibly to fire missiles into the Mediterranean
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A riveting account of a then-rare mass shooting in 1903, before they were normal daily news
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The average wait time to get an incorrect answer from the IRS is now down to only nine minutes
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Unfortunately the chocolate eggs you ordered were out of stock so we substituted them for....*spins wheel*.... a roast chicken & broccoli salad
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ISIS bravely ran away away, they bravely ran away. When Obama reared his ugly head, they quickly turned tail and fled, Brave brave ISIS quickly ran away
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ISIS no. 2 reportedly killed. This is not a repeat of when we used to do the same shiat to Al Qaeda
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Grand Theft Arizona
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The Intex "Easy Set" swimming pool retails for anywhere from $35 to $500 depending on its dimensions, and it's perfect for storing low level radioactive water at your Nuclear Power Plant. "Excellent"
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Think you know why they call it Good Friday? YOU KNOW NOTHING, SIR
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This is the story of a pornographer's missing middle finger
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Here's how The Washington Post managed to count every single person shot to death by police in the United States in 2015, because no one else tracks that
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Memphis is the most obese city in the country, with Indianapolis coming in third. Apparently "Indianapolis 500" now refers to the average weight of residents
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Just a reminder that all those Easter treats can kill your pet. Your dog wants steak, he doesn't need chocolate
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Just in time for Easter, Chris is risen
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Palo Alto considers subsidizing housing for people making up to $250,000 a year. Which isn't surprising in a place where even the local soup kitchens require a jacket and tie, reservations and happily validate parking
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Recent cocaine escapades at LAX reveal a number of troubling security issues. TSA, TSA, TSA
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Gentlemen, start your toilets
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This is what happens when you strap a GoPro to your dog
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Seattle's Tree Man does not like the judicial branch
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Has ISIS started using bacon bombs, and might this mean that our bacon-based offensives are no longer effective against them?
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That video from New Zealand of a driver deliberately running down a cyclist was as fake as the moon landing one
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Security cameras capture a dozen burglars going full Blues Brothers on clothing store
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You're on a special mission to designate airstrike targets deep within IS controlled territory. Your cover is blown and you're surrounded on all sides. What do you do? In this soldier's case, take a sip of vodka and designate one final target
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Aldi will change the name of its 'rape yellow' paint after complaint from abuse victim. No word yet on the fate of its 'genocide purple' or 'felonious assault green' colors
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Pay What You Want: White Hat Hacker Bundle. For ethical hackers. Also to come: course for free range hackers, farm-to-table hackers, heirloom hackers, and locally sourced hackers. (Sponsored Link)
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Photoshop theme: Ways to improve Easter
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Cumhuriyet trial set to start. Heh, cumhuriyet
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A real UX design professional would have gentrified his neighborhood with death by snu-snu, but startup culture is made of people who can afford to be unafraid to move fast and break things. The rest of you should move slowly or be cops
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That sort of thing just isn't my bag, baby
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Glasgow Iman who praised a terrorist says he was just "misunderstood," and by misunderstood he means he totally supports terrorists who murder people
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Looks like little Bobby Tables has some company in having a name that causes trouble for computer systems
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HOA won't let townhome owner install exterior radon mitigation system because a) HOA board thinks it will harm other owners' health; b) HOA board doesn't understand science; c) HOA board doesn't want people to know there's a radon problem
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Monarch butterflies could disappear from Eastern US within 20 years, probably to be replaced by blue morphos
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The saddest story about a pet duck that you will read all this week
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| Thu March 24, 2016 |
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Hey, terrorists: Eat this
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Georgia elementary school apologizes for yoga classes 'cause saying "Namastay, y'all" offends the Bible-thumpers
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Easter, you used to be a Catholic holiday to take off. What happened?
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Now you can have your child's braces made in the logo of your favorite college - which they'll never be able to attend because you spent their college fund at the orthodontist
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Bad: Truck hit by train. Evacuate-the-town bad: Truck full of propane hit by train
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Woman mourning the recent death of her husband in an automobile accident gets the good news that she's pregnant, and the terrifying news that she'll have three more kids to remember him by
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The only way to stop a bad fairy tale character is a good fairy tale character - with a gun
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Create a new designer fragrance
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Brussels bombers were planning to kidnap a prominent Belgian nuclear researcher, or his family, to force him to make a dirty bomb. Sleep well
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New bylaw allows such 'human noises' as hooting and hollering to be made between 7 a.m. and 11 p.m. Drunken singing on Main St. at 2 a.m. will still get you a ticket, though
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Any last words?
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Bar owners were shocked and saddened to find out that the two black women kicked out for no reason were both ACLU attorneys
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Alas, poor William
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Here's where we're at for the start of WWIII: Three months after Europe closes its borders, China and Russia will start WWIII against the USA and we will all be at total war. Why yes, I did get the info from Nostradamus
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| (Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: Whether you want to avoid gluten or just try something different, there are many varieties of grains for what you're cooking or baking. Let's celebrate oats to spelt and all the others.. it's a grains thread. Difficulty: non-wheat
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If you are attending a 'Coffee With a Cop' program, you may not want to drive drunk to the event
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Much like the nether regions of those who direct billions of tax dollars toward military spending, air force technology "hasn't been useful for the past seventeen years"
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Photoshop these stick-ups
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Pandas caught on tape mating. In related news, Gawker to post video online
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Why JeffnKimmy's shared Facebook profile page keeps bugging you
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An indestructible, teleporting deer is causing chaos in a version of GTA V. Truly these are wonderful times we live in
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Balboa Naval Hospital on lockdown for the second time in as many months due to inactive shooter. Maybe
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Denver International Airport, building complex of a thousand freaky conspiracy theories
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Freshwater lensing will soon kill us all
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Anti-vaxxers return to California state capital to remind everybody that they're still farking morons
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DOJ announces charges against a bunch of dam hackers
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As the Easter weekend approaches, one of the hardest Czech customs to explain to people is the practice of whipping women on Easter Monday, which is called Red Monday
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Former police officer: I'm not a racist and to prove it, I'm going to sue everyone
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Apparently taking care of everything else it needed to, this Alabama city is cracking down on diaperless horses
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It isn't too late to order a chocolate bunny delivered to your door...by an X-rated bunny. He is risen, indeed
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Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day that ISIS traditionally crucifies a kidnapped priest
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Muslim leader calls for death penalty. For Muslim terrorists
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"Millions of Brazilians have taken to the streets to demand the impeachment of president Dilma Rousseff." Woah, that sounds like a lot
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One group alleges that a ban on sexual harassment violates the 1st Amendment
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Man who apparently never heard of Evel Knievel wants to launch himself over the 'Grand Canyon of Texas' in a steam-powered rocket
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White Tasmanian devils found to be flourishing on Tasmanian Island
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More drugs across the border? Well then, the wall just got 10 feet taller
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Detroit high school grads to get tuition-free college. Which was met with a great response until it was specified the college has to be in Detroit
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"Yes, it is legal and no, we can't make people stop doing it"
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A nut has fallen out of the tree
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Old and Busted: Smuggling drugs and small animals in your pants. New and Amusing: Smuggling lemons in your pants
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City of Chicago:"Don't worry, that new runway we built at O'Hare won't bother you at all." Area residents: "B-b-but, the planes are flying so low they're sucking the leaves off the trees"
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New observations in comb jellies shakes the butthole paradigm. Hey, new band name
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Sean McEnroe asks people to donate $10K on his GoFundMe page for his 'art project'. (Looks up quotes from his famous dad. Ah.) "Do you have any problems, other than you are unemployed, a moron and a dork?"
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This just in: Teenagers can be total assholes to people for no reason
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Photoshop these big ears
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A wildfire is sweeping across Kansas, causing tens of dollars in damage
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US Fish & Wildlife Administration take reporters on tour of Malheur refuge after Dildo House toga party
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Man arrested for not returning "Freddy Got Fingered" VHS from 2002. No word if his daddy would like some sausage
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The last U.S. Navy ship lost in peacetime has been found. R.I.P. sailors of the USS Conestoga
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Some chocolate makers apparently decided to use Flint water to make this year's Easter candy
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In the worst remake of "Catch Me If You Can," JetBlue flight attendant who ditched 70lbs of cocaine and her Guccis at LAX security screening has been arrested at JFK
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Britain's Easter weekend forecast: A bit ratty
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Why aren't Belgian Muslims taking to the streets to condemn the Brussels attacks? Here's why
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After thirty-year wait for restoration, the cool medieval version of the Sistine Chapel is once again open to tourists in Rome
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Guess what internet? Papaw's grilling burgers this Saturday AND WE'RE ALL INVITED
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Apparently there's more than one reason to take a cold shower
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Meth? Check. Heroin? Check. Pellet gun in waistband before entering Dollar General store? Check. Grandma driving getaway car? Check. Mugshot like you would expect? Check
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 568: "Hobbies 3" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed March 23, 2016 |
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So that's my story. A man, sat there telling me I'm the most amazing woman he's ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
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But hey, free dwarf
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Florida woman accuses man of sexual battery. Man responds with videos of her having sex with dogs
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Psycho who shot Gabrielle Giffords in the face is suing her for $25 million ... for emotional distress. That's the joke
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Photoshop this easter bunny
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You can now pay $50 to have lunch with a baby
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Citing failure of socialized medicine, Massachusetts lawmakers want to switch to socialized medicine
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Surgeon in residency from THE Ohio State University removed THE wrong rib
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You blew it up, you damn feathered apes. And then you ate all the seeds while looking adorable. Who wants a cracker?
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Senior citizens too busy chasing millennials off of their lawns to check if all the pills they're taking will kill them
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Doesn't it just bug you when you find a parcel at your post office "behaving" in a mysterious way only to find out it's a package of 300 live cockroaches?
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Institute for Depriving You Of The Slightest Joy In Life And Incessantly Nagging You Until You Beg For The Sweet Release Of Death And Even Then You're Doing It Wrong says moderate alcohol consumption isn't good for you after all
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Guy finally returns library book after 50 years...and he probably almost finished it, too
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Overworked hospital emergency room asks patients to stop showing up seeking medical treatment for hiccups and broken fake fingernails
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With no more pressing problems to solve, North Carolina announces it will ticket everyone driving even a mile over the posted limit
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Photoshop this military letter carrier
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In Japan, blowgun darts are still the preferred way of getting zebras off golf courses (Warning: Some images are graphic)
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You'll be pleased to know that the former New York Fed employee who went to work for Goldman Sachs managing the unit he used to regulate, and had his former co-workers send him confidential docs about his bank has had his wrist thoroughly slapped
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Here are 19 dogs who hold Guinness World Records and who probably got the stupid bar towel
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I-95 becomes impromptu Fark Party zone after two 18-wheelers full of beer and Fritos collide
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On one hand, you wrecked your BMW. On the other hand, your parking job was friggin' PHENOMENAL
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Texas demolition company helps with tornado damage cleanup by demolishing house at 7601 Calypso Drive. One slight problem. The house slated for demo was a block away at 7601 Cousteau Drive
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Uber cars now available in burning and non-burning varieties
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Only 2.7% of the population can afford to live a healthy lifestyle
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Snack time at Philadelphia day care center now includes crack cocaine. Heroically, employee rushes 3-year-old to the hospital and the child is okay
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In honor of National Puppy Day, here are some adorable puppy pics to get your "D'awwwwwwwwwwwww" going. Post your puppy pics to the right to honor the day
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Eight is enough, officer Karl (with Fark callout)
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Police find peeping tom under stairs, say he had wand in his hand, lightning bolt scar
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Alabama bill aims to cut down on a Fark headline staple
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Seattle has an urban forestry department. Oh yeah, and a man in a tree is still shutting down downtown Seattle
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Nananananana BAT PEE Nananananana BAT PEE
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The War of Northern Aggression was actually decided by geology
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Two Brussels attackers identified. Broccoli still wanted
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Project Greenglow and the quest for an antigravity drive. Spoiler: no flying car
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New York politician compares MMA to gay porn in bid to ban it: "You have two nearly naked, hot men trying to dominate each other. That's gay porn with a different ending"
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Arduino Starter Kit. I, for one, welcome our new robot overloads. (Sponsored Link)
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Photoshop this man and his double bass
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Ohh, look at the cute little prairie dog. What does it have in its mouth? Oh, my God (warning: graphic images)
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How to stop PMS hormones from turning you into an irritable, paranoid, depressed mess... Well this one's easy, just get some buddies and go on a road trip to Vegas until she stops throwing the phone when you call her
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U.S. State Department warns of possible terrorist attacks sometime in the near future somewhere in or maybe around Europe while terrorists could strike within the U.S. with little warning. So keep calm and EVERYBODY PANIC
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Don't ask, don't tell
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City regarding pedestrian killed by police car: It was his own fault for crossing the street on green
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Brussels bombings was US teen's third terrorist attack. Maybe someone should be watching this kid a little closer
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The caesarian litter of cheetahs that captured our hearts has lost their mother, but fortunately dog is love
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The good news is thanks to that bone marrow transplant, you're leukemia-free. The bad news is the woman who donated the bone marrow was allergic to kiwi and now so are you
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Police seek charges against "Second Amendment" shooting victim, don't even give shooter a slap on the wrist
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Fire breaks out at recycling center near Phoenix Airport. Second-hand smoke affecting flights
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Winner of the 2016 Day Late and a Dollar Short Award: Belgian Police Find Bomb-Making Factory
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The CDC announces that the cucumber menace has been defeated for now. (but rest assured, the sprouts and lettuce are ramping up their salmonella war machine)
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Suspect is armed with an apple.... I repeat, suspect is armed with an apple
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There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on African-Americans, Jewish-Americans, Italian-Americans or Mexican-Americans. Here you are all equally worthless. Do you maggot-Americans understand?
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U.S. Supreme Court rules that it is legal to seek revenge on a sister-biting moose using a hovercraft full of eels
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Refusing a threesome with your boyfriend? That's a stabbing. And a dismembering. And a burning. Then a jailing. And finally a deporting
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The next stop on the Dildopalooza tour will be in Sanders County Montana, where potatriots are threatening armed standoff in order to prevent arrest of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge suspect Jake Ryan
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Photoshop this lonely walker
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TSA spoils Rob Ford's wake
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Canadian Hells Angel kept 12 kilograms of cocaine in a hockey bag because stereotypes exist for a reason
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Who's raffing now, Hans Brix?
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Good: putting a tiger in your tank. Bad: putting a tiger in your basement
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DHS problem: Airport security checkpoints create soft targets for terrorists. DHS solution: Pre-checkpoint checkpoints
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Nebraska's new license plate to feature a man releasing his seed
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"A woman told police that late March 14 or early March 15 someone entered her unlocked car in the driveway and stole two pies. The report doesn't indicate the flavors"
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Sometimes you just can't stop until you've had a great big slice of ham
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Photoshop this tenement wall
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Sacred and valuable monstrance stolen from church. There's got to be a word for someone who do that
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Chicago has a solution to the rat problem-- feral cats. Soon they will come up with a solution to the feral cat problem
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Population of island off the coast of County Mayo in Ireland has dwindled down to a few dozen people. Their solution to repopulate? Dear Americans, Looking to flee the good ole USA if Trump wins? Have we got an island for you
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Chicago tries an ingenious solution to combat its "beach butt problem," but sadly we're not talking about the one that's caused by overindulging in Italian beef sandwiches and pączkis
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Missouri DOT employee reported missing. Described as about 10 feet tall and weighing approximately 50 pounds, Bob was last seen on Saturday, and was wearing a yellow vest and sunglasses
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He made mistakes. He drank too much. He smoked some crack sometimes. But he got more than enough to eat at home. And now he's dead
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Volcano gods appeased...for now
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Nice brush strokes. Good boy
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Donald Trump's violent, misogynist campaign manager's favorite pastime is drunk dialing reporters and coming on to them over the phone
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Fark Store Daily Deal: E-learning web developer course. What else are you going to do with 28 hours? (Sponsored Link)
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Least intimidating shark ever photographed off coast of Florida
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Fark NotNewsletter: Fark Madness
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An Austin cop who shot an unarmed teen for being naked is placed on indefinite suspension
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Legalize ALL the things
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"Obesity is the new smoking. So let's treat it as such"
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Photoshop theme - what do you get when you cross...?
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Woman wakes up one day and can no longer swallow. Same thing happened to my wife the day after we were married
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11-year-old dies playing Hangman. Man, kids really take their word games seriously these days
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Possible terror attack at Brussels Airport and subway station, two explosions so far, smoke rising from the terminal building. At least 28 dead, many wounded
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Ugly-ass baby bald eagles hatch at National Arboretum, immediately cry red white and blue tears and shiat freedom sparkles as the American flag waves in the background
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Those wacky, waving, inflatable tube men were able to do something chicken wire and electric mats couldn't: Scare off the sea lions that invade the docks of Astoria, Oregon
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Challenger engineer whose warnings went unheeded, lived with guilt, and recently redeemed by the outpouring of support from across the globe, has begun his final peaceful repose
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Two brothers visit a couple in the hospital after accidentally receiving a birth announcement text... and they bring gifts
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FBI to Apple: Never mind, we got this
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What did one scarecrow say to the other? This job isn't for everyone, but hay... it's in my jeans. What bad jokes do you know?
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| Mon March 21, 2016 |
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Headline: "Man leaves 30,000 cars in house he donated to church" Wait....what? *reads TFA* Oh....cool
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Teen thinks it would be cool to play "dodge the arrow" it ends in just the way you imagine it would
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Remember when Gerald Ford called for congressional hearings into the Michigan UFO sightings from 1952-1969? And then the wolves ate him. Coincidence?
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Photoshop theme - a 'versus' movie more interesting than ''Batman vs Superman''
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While climate change may drown the coastline and increase severe weather, it will also result in improved premium French wines that we won't be able to afford
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GTA: Cement truck edition
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Paleontologist says that fossils from Noah's ark that guy found while digging in aunt's yard are really millions of years old. Stupid scientists
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The feds acquired more dildos
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Researchers in Oregon cure AIDS, and it doesn't even involve pot
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U.S. Navy excited that one of its missiles actually, you know, works
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Goodness gracious trash cans on fire
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Kentucky does something smart
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Here's a tale from the first Whole Foods in Georgia. "Their previous grocery options being 'OK Kroger, sketchy Kroger, terrifyingly sketchy Kroger, Piggly Wiggly, or a Publix'"
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Judge seals NYT request asking him to unseal AP request asking him to unseal court records of Trump associate
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Moscow subway riders get away with being smelly, hairy and taking up three seats
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| (Pu'uhonua O Honaunau) |
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Photoshop these Hawaiian gods
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Reset the clock. No, the "trampled by elephants" one
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"Officer Karl, someone's tried to set this building on fire five times in the last four days. Do you think we should do a stake-out, or something?" "Naw, I'm sure they won't . . . do you smell smoke?"
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The unluckiest man in the world has finally gotten lucky
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1. Stop robbery while applying for employment 2. Get Hired. 3. Profit
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Florida city cracks down on spring break partying, sees huge drop in business, considers adding quilting and bingo next year for those young rascals
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If you have any ideas of what to do with J. Paul Getty's bomb shelter, the Tulsa Airport Authority would like to hear them
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New Orleans City Council figures out how to make Mardis Gras even better
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PROTIP: Egg cartons are good for carrying eggs. LIFEHACK
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As bad as the water crisis in Flint is, at least it's a completely unprecedented problem that's occurring nowhere else. I mean if, say 350 schools and day cares nationwide had elevated lead levels in their water, we'd have heard something, right?
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After being told he can not purchase the new BMW with food stamps, Florida man steals it
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Johns Hopkins researchers: Hey, you know how the NSA said that they can't hack Apple's encryption? Well, funny thing about that
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Remember how we didn't need to get involved in Syria? Well, that may have changed when Google emailed with Clinton about taking out Assad
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You'd think a public defender might know better than to get caught in a sex sting operation by police. Not this guy
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In a spy drama where a retired agent gets killed in his suburban home by people who are never seen, you never see how the local newspaper reports it the next day. Here's how
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Panel of experts can overrule public vote for Boaty McBoatface as ex-First Sea Lord Admiral Baron West of Spithead GCB, DSC, PC, says stop that it's silly
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This may come as a shock to you, but someone who helped perpetrate the worst terrorist attack on a country suddenly doesn't want to be extradited to that country for trial
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Is America ready for the rise of the Unionized C*cksuckers, Local 69? This has nothing to do with Congress
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How the hell did Belgium of all places become a hotbed of violent jihadist ideology?
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Fark Store Daily Deal: Look-alike iPhone Flask. Holds almost 5 ounces. I guess I could get twelve... (Sponsored Link)
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Texas man, who was previously caught having sex with his mistress in a Ferris Wheel before his wedding, was just killed in a carjacking
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Photoshop theme: add, subtract or change a word (or words) of a movie title
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Dead kangaroos added to the list of things in Australia that are trying to kill you
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The Slurpee turned 50 last weekend, so let's see what kind of containers enterprising customers used on "bring your own cup day"... OH LAWD
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Does your child have Down Syndrome? That's a deporting
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Mother tries making baby back ribs, gets arrested for doing it wrong
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Chip Monk, the search for Seattle's hipster ninja masturbator, and Obama nominates Self for court pick: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/13 - 3/19
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Mini Kim Kardashian found dead outside her home by Mini Kanye West
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Best Korea throws more garbage into the sea
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What, you're 1.5 percent Native American? No white loving foster parents for you, not yours
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Don't you hate it when you're in your work truck with your cell number on the side, and you unexpectedly drive by an anti-Trump protest that's being broadcast on cable television and you get threatening calls from people who think you're anti-Trump?
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Although it's hilarious in a teen comedy, in real life it's not so funny if you're on Spring Break and get caught stealing the beach patrol's personal watercraft
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Here comes Peter Rottentail. Punchin down the bunny trail. With video goodness of angry bunny in action
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