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Sun March 13, 2016
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Due to break in upriver dam, right now would be a really bad time to be in Hebert, LA
source: myarklamiss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
You want sugar, Sweet n' Low or leukemia?
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create a new game show
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Motley Fool)
 
 
 
Beer snobs rejoice as Budweiser no longer crowned King of Beers
source: fool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
At assembly, junior high school principal says most important thing for a woman is to bear two or more children, which is "more valuable than building her career." He later added that he told male students to offer assistance in child rearing
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Lazy Sunday movie day. What is one of you favorite '80s cheesy movies to watch? Think Legend of Billie Jean or Over the Top
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this game board
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KeysNet)
 
 
 
You are charged with human smuggling for kitchen help, how do you plead? I need to go skiing in Switzerland, your honor. OK, have fun on the slopes. (Article has been updated to show judge denied request to go skiing in Switzerland)
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Either Canadians are a bunch of sex perverts, or our fetishes are entirely normal
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Now we know who peed in your corn flakes
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sheriff threatens to arrest "rascally" Apple CEO Tim Cook for his loyalty to terrorists and not America
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
A dive into the darkest, dirtiest, most depraved corner of the Internet: Dr. Pimple Popper
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Captain America robs beauty store. Though to be fair, that looks more like Bucky Cap than traditional Steve Rogers Cap or the current Sam Wilson Falcon Cap
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
This is a super awesome article super perfect for a super Sunday from a supersmart author
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Grocery shopping may be irrevocably altered by the war over GMO labeling
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
After worker is convicted in child porn case, customers shun pizza place. Fark: The wrong pizza place
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ravalli Republic)
 
 
 
Local tourism group enthusiastically designs billboard showing angler catching huge largemouth bass on a lure. But billboard is advertisement for Montana's Bitterroot River, where no bass live and fly fishing is nigh on religion. Sh*tstorm ensues
source: ravallirepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
University suspends porn star professor 'Old Nick', who can now concentrate on his other jobs: plumber, fridge repairman, pool cleaner, pizza delivery guy, etc
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Los Angeles County coroner resigns because lack of funds causes 180 bodies to stack up in morgue. Apparently employees refuse to work the graveyard shift
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady and her horse
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bird 1, Boeing 737 0
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Embarrassing Moments
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It's your typical love story: Chimp spends 18 years alone, meets companion and then refuses to let go no matter what
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Man trapped in a river while skinny dipping rescued by a woman in a kayak. Apparently his little dinghy wasn't enough
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fish rain down on a small town in the Australian Outback. "We reckon they must have come from the sky. There are no creeks or no gullies around"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Doncha just hate it when you're towing a vehicle and it comes loose from the tow truck? Yeah, me too. But at least I wasn't towing Iron Maiden's 747
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In the '90s, Kim Jong-il had issues with the tenderness of his beef. Also, his steaks weren't tender enough
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Homeowner protects himself from home invader who refused to leave his property, broke a window, and climbed into the apartment. If it was Texas, they would give the homeowner a medal, this being California however, he is in custody
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Thieves in the Phoenix area are targeting Cricket wireless stores, without understanding there isn't a black market for ZTE phones
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ben H. Bagdikian, journalist who helped publish the Pentagon Papers dies at age 96. HERO tag to be printed with Roboto font at 28 pixels
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sacred Artichoke)
 
 
 
Our host isn't in the studio tonight, but for your listening enjoyment here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from June 1, 2013
source: sacredartichoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 12, 2016
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
We apologize for the delay. But we'll be taking off as soon as the pilot retrieves the gun he left in the terminal rest room
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Woman steals man's heart after he meets her on a dating phone app. Just kidding. She steals his SUV. "I wouldn't leave you, but you sure as heck had no problem leaving me"
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
During child support hearing, woman asks for $20,000 to cover wine expenses related to parenting
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
You might assume that when someone drives by a party bus and shoots it up, the victims would cooperate with police and paramedics. But this happened in Oakland, so one victim punched a paramedic, another kicked a cop, and no one's talking
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this closeup moment
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The AV Club taste-tested Burger King's new hot dogs and Dr. Pepper shake so none of us have to
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man allowed to wear a fox hat in his driver's license photo in order to honor his spirit animal. Bonus: Driver's license photo included in article
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Harvard task force proposes expelling students who join all-male clubs. Fortunately for the students, they have to wait until graduation before being asked to join the Harvard faculty
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fairy tale princess
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Snowmachiner attacks two Iditarod teams, killing one dog and injuring several others
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
ISIS is forcing birth control on its captives to maintain their supply of sex slaves
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Dildonian defendant says he only "borrowed" government truck, didn't steal it. Bonus: says the feds have no authority, God is his lawyer, and he's never won in court
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Nashville)
 
 
 
Nashville duplex landlord surprised by intruder who explains he's there from Knoxville to save his wife, Taylor Swift. Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best stalkers OF ALL TIME
source: fox17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hey remember when we told you to rebuild that tavern you illegally demolished last year? Yeah we weren't joking
source: kilburntimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
This is what happens when you replace a two-buck light switch with a computer
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
90-year-old man charged with sexual assault at SHAG building
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Article about writing a decent headline in the internet era is detailed and informative. Farkers, in particular, should take note. (Subby included)
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Four-year-old boy pronounces cucumber wrongly. That's a de-radicalisation referral
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop what these people are waiting for
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If Apple won't write the code we ordered them to, we'll just take all their source code and their signing keys and write our own FBiOS, with blackjack, and hookers. In fact, forget the blackjack. And the hookers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to setting a lobster boat on fire. Says he was feeling crabby that day
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Standard Speaker)
 
 
 
Jack Black to play "The Polka King", a biopic about subby's hometown hero. Polka band leader, businessman, securities con artist. You can't make this stuff up
source: standardspeaker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A new study hopes to reveal if cats 'speak' with different meows based on where they live. Still no cure for Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Everything you thought you knew about St. Patrick's Day is a lie. There were never any snakes in Ireland, St. Patrick dressed in blue, and it wasn't that long ago when drinking on St. Patrick's Day in Ireland was illegal
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Another victory in the War On Drugs as NYPD officers arrest Brooklyn man for marijuana possession in the amount of--- A) 1.5 grams, B) 1.5 ounces, or C) 1.5 tons
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
The latest from the land of NOPE: A palm-sized spider that can swim and catch fish
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
To Kill a Mass Market Paperback
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 11, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hello, Peter. What's happening. Ahh, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow, so if you could be here around 9, that would be great. Oh, and I almost forgot, if you could just take this quiz that would be great. Mkay?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tiny orphaned kangaroo adopted by policeman uses his shirt as a pouch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Bad: Stealing toys and giving them to your kids for Christmas. Sickening: From a children's hospital
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
DOJ expected to Photoshop some charges on 2013 dam Iranian hackers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lit pyramid
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Massive protests in Chicago stump Trump rally (Live feed in article)
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korean sub goes missing, probably located next to North Korean missiles
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Civilized)
 
 
 
The one phrase sure to strike fear in a stoner's heart: "weed dick"
source: civilized.life   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
The Pentagon's new secret weapon against ISIS are two 50-year-old planes
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
ಠ_ಠ
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World News)
 
 
 
Woman leaves keys in unlocked car with predictable results: Bye, Felicia
source: article.wn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Oklahoma abolishes licensing and training requirements for open carry--because Jesus. No, really
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Tailgating is bad, but brake checking doesn't fix it
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Buy our useless tech gadget OR YOUR BABY DIES
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
South African teen latest winner in MH370 beach lottery
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
90-year-old grandpa makes wrong turn in his mobility scooter, ends up driving down motorway. Still faster than those idiot drivers who hog the left lane
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
A lot of people wonder what Bitcoin is really worth in the real world. How about seven years in prison?
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wet boxer
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
You might not be able to buy your way into heaven, but you can buy a big chunk of Hell right now
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Are you sure this will cure my headache, Doctor Anal?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Decor at a Joe's Crab Shack has customers real crabby
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
What does a 4-clawed lobster look like? Delicious
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Members of Hamas burn 15 tons of Snickers Bars. Not going anywhere for a while?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guinness World Records)
 
 
 
Auschwitz survivor now officially world's oldest living man, continues to dance on Hitler's grave till his knees give out
source: guinnessworldrecords.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recordnet)
 
 
 
After accidentally inviting an LBGT-friendly church to participate, a Stockton, CA ecumenical foundation decides to cancel Easter rather than risk accidentally praying with gay people, yanno just like Jesus would have done
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The ammosexual mother shot by her own son is rather proud of her progeny using his 2nd amendment rights
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy refuses to recognize federal authority at a place where they recognize federal authority
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Rat "as big as a four-year-old" found in East London. Westley remains unconvinced
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Remember when the founder of RT was found dead last year? Well, after a four-month autopsy, it appears he died from playing pro football without a helmet
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
"Hearts without morals shall be punished" declares modern-day samurai patrolling Tokyo's streets to fight against the evils of littering
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Someone made an Instagram dedicated to the "hot migrants of Syria"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
But, your honor, if people didn't want me to steal $15,000 worth of their property, why would they keep inviting me into all these so-called "open houses"?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good looking yet confused about your Tinder dry-spell? Perhaps your ex has hacked your account and been creative with your bio
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wonderland walkway
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man arrested for taking upskirt videos of girls at the supermarket doesn't like it when people film him without his permission
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Star Wars: The Dog Awakens
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Could you eat a bus, according to science? Yes, says the man who ate a computer, a pair of skis, and an aeroplane
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Alex Jones of the Eagles of Death Metal
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
Caption these two North American leaders in a tender moment
source: wpmedia.montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E&E Publishing)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy was selling cattle faster than the BLM could round them up. Dildos
source: eenews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Tittygram: Your message on boobs. BRILLIANT
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scientists find a possible cure for cancer, corny Fark headlines
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern CA Public Radio)
 
 
 
If it pleases the court, your honor, I'd like to take this outside and open a can of whoop-ass on the defendant's lawyer
source: scpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Here's how far behind the 8-ball you are and why you're going to die broke
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Looks like the CEO and COO of Wounded Warrior Project are gonna need to find a new cause to pretend to care about
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Director of Avalanche Center killed on his day off...by an avalanche
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Hot felon in the city...stealing hearts, gettin' plenty
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 10, 2016
(The Oakland Press)
 
 
 
Postal Service agrees to find out why people keep dying at one facility before the other employees go...well, you know
source: theoaklandpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
General Butt Naked only slightly better name than General Mosquito and his nemesis General Mosquito Spray
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
While the TSA was cavity-searching your kid's doll, someone spent an hour driving a stolen car on the runways unnoticed
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Mountain lion sneaks into the Los Angeles Zoo to have a koala snack
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Attorney's dog dies. So he melts down in profanity-laced legal filing about strippers
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York Post succeeds in getting elderly homeless woman's stuff taken away and thrown out. GREAT JOB, EVERYONE
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Former airman found guilty of trying to go Pugh Pugh for ISIS
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dog notices his owner is sad, goes full potato on her
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
New York's 143rd Assembly District continues its tradition of electing sluttiness
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Santeria is in full swing in NYC as goat heads are being found nailed to trees all over the place (Graphic)
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Meh. it worked better with Kim Cattrall
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The wife of the Turkish President, who is doing NOTHING to help dispel those rumors that he secretly wants to re-instate the Sultanate, says that the Ottoman Sultan's harems were "an educational establishment for preparing women for life"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Holy crap pull up)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low flying aircraft
source: vintagewings.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
Mares eat oats and Does eat oats and little Lambs eat ivy, a Kid'll eat ivy too, unless they're stuck in a boring kindergarten lecture. Then they'll eat paste
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Men's Health (UK))
 
 
 
Is your health tracker stealing your data so it can be sold? Probably
source: menshealth.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Only one country would ever seriously ask whether you're a terrorist. Only one country would seriously believe the answer. Stay safe, 'Muricans
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
This is what the internet looks like to someone who has dyslexia
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Cetaceans needed
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Womenfolk who have miscarriages or defective fetuses in Indiana will soon get a lesson in tough love and personal responsibility from GOP lawmakers
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What could be better than cake? More cake. That's right, and we want to see which is your favorite recipe. From layers to icing to the best mixture for awesomeness, share to the right. Don't disappoint us.. this is important
source: addapinch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Amazoff
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Matthew 5:39
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There are few things more shameful in the criminal underworld than getting shot by your own hostage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this whippet, whippet good
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Police press to pop pooping peeper
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUT Austin)
 
 
 
A traveler follows the New York Times 36 hours in Austin article and complains it will set you back $1,790. So what would 36 hours in New York cost?
source: kut.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man convicted of stalking Erin Andrews now living in his father's basement
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Oh, look. Even Daisy Ridley has to defend herself against "real women have curves" crusaders
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Hi, Uber? Got anyone who can pick me up in 30 seconds?
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Burma shaves its crop of presidential candidates
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
News crew checking on storm damage in Texas finds debris, torn up buildings, a dog riding a lawn mower, fallen branches, destroyed fences, the usual
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Open Carry advocates will be at SXSW during Obama's visit, parading around with their assault weapons, and their leader promises that "Things will get interesting" which means in non gun-nut speak "Enjoy your Secret Service cavity search"
source: trailblazersblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bitter Southerner)
 
 
 
Cool story about the Lodge Manufacturing Co. to the left, a bitter argument about how to treat cast iron skillets to the right
source: bittersoutherner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
ISIS personnel files leaked. DAMMIT PAM
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Alaska Airlines rerouted a flight from Anchorage to Honolulu to follow the path of totality during this week's eclipe because an astronomer asked if they would
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Even people in Dublin who didn't drink their breakfast saw a guy in a jetpack noodling around the city
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I have never really wanted children; they're just crying midgets that require too much attention. Recently I've been faced with my own mortality; is it okay to have kids only so you can have someone take care of you when you're old?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Divorce judge to parents who wasted $500,000 fighting over custody: You're both idiots
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Florida repeals cohabitation ban, giving new meaning to the Love Shack
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Typo prevents billion dollar bank theft. Apparently, teller couldn't read note, didn't know what smawl bills were
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Booze, check. Boom Box, check. Stretch pants, check. Your non-stop, drunken, mid-air brawl of a flight has just reached cruising altitude (w/ video)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Debrief (UK))
 
 
 
Four-legged chicken born on Chinese farm, raising immediate ethical question, "Can we eat it?"
source: thedebrief.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Brooklyn IHOP worker finds out how much free coffee and orange juice you can give away before being charged with a felony
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HexJam)
 
 
 
Here's what happens when you house Syrian refugees in the same hotel as a furry convention
source: hexjam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There's a massive underwater UFO base in Guantanamo Bay, but don't tell anyone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korea follows up their artillery attack against the sea with a missile launch. Against the sea. Because fark the sea, that's why
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The Branch Dildonians could be in prison for twenty years. That's a lot of batteries
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - make your favorite TV show the way you'd like to see it
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The results are in on Missouri's "natural experiment" testing whether more guns lead to more safety and less crime, and they don't: "According to research, gun deaths soared when it became easier for people to buy and carry firearms"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rhino poaching: Another year, another grim record
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man's dream of inline skating 3000km ruined by hills, friction, reality
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coconuts)
 
 
 
Seven engineering students rushed to hospital after old campus tree delivers real-life lesson on momentum
source: bangkok.coconuts.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British school bans games of tag because it's too violent: "The world's gone crazy, kids can't do anything these days"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Titty sprinkles
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So how could one city still be plowing snow when it is 70 degrees there? Talk about weird weather
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
New study of nearly 400,000 children between four and 17 years old finds ADHD is vastly overdiagnosed and many children are just immature
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago police launch a massive undercover operation to arrest a man using a jamming device on the Red Line because riders talking on their cellphones annoyed him
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Americans are increasingly choosing Olive Garden and Taco Bell over authentic food. Yo quiero comida italiana, por favor
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mass shooting in Pittsburgh, at least five dead. Clock reset
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
All right, it's understandable that you're upset about being forced to move out of an office building due to a lawsuit. But what the hell was the point of stealing six sinks? Especially if you're the city mayor?
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Pedophile wanted to kidnap children to populate an abandoned underground city
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 566: "Graves 4" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 09, 2016
(Austin.com)
 
 
 
The Texas 'taco war' between Austin and San Antonio is escalating to a 'taco summit.' Experts predict 'taco apocalypse' before year's end
source: austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not only does radiation from the 30-year-old Chernobyl nuclear disaster still linger, in some places it's actually increasing
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Bus carrying journalists and activists attacked near Chechnya by terrorists and totally not by unmarked Russian soldiers who happen to be vacationing in the region
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Can't demolish the Nazi building? Solution: fill it with sharks
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
Before the "little blue pill", treatments for male impotence were pretty shocking
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man tossed from musical festival for abusing Protestants, Catholics, gays, Arabs, Pakistanis, blacks, and people who wear glasses
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this virtual reality experience
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Megachurch shutting down after members catch on that they've been tithing to a megachurch. Just kidding, it's because a woman ascended to pastor, which some members considered an insult to Jesus and thus broke away to form their own church
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In recent flood of "penis ring mishap" news German man sets new record with 13 metal rings. He must be hung like a scrapyard
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Bundy protest rally scheduled for Thursday at the Las Vegas courthouse. I'm not saying everyone within 200 miles should drive down and wave dildos at them, but it'd be pretty funny if everyone within 200 miles drove down and waved dildos at them
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hometown)
 
 
 
Drunk man knocks himself unconscious after fight with brick wall
source: champnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Residents forget about the mammoth sinkhole that appeared in their garden to concentrate on the rusty steps leading to the underworld
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Luckiest TV reporter ever, nearly hit by car while live on the air, becomes top story of the day
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gateway Pundit)
 
 
 
Man who killed four people in Kansas City is an illegal immigrant from Mexico who had been deported before. If only we had some laws that would have prevented this crime
source: thegatewaypundit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this completely useless activity
source: fresher.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Town brings back the classic police chase shootout
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cuba issues statement making it clear that they welcome President Obama to see how to really run a tyrannical dictatorship
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Four elderly men have been sentenced for their roles in a daring Easter 2015 robbery of a jewelry store in the heart of London that netted almost $30 million . All four will be played by Michael Caine in the inevitable movie
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
While you're struggling with your deductions this spring, you'll be relieved to hear that the oil industry can secretly claim more than a 100% tax rebate on losses in Alaska
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
"How many sex toys does one guy need?"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Remember. It is always "a baby" not "your baby"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Museum offers to display a replica of Donald Trump's penis, despite being short-handed
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The O.J. Simpson trial proved that perception is reality, and that image - not the truth - is everything
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Some 4-year-old children whine and complain when forced to sit in the back seat. Then there's this kid who shot his mother in the back
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fishermen off the coast of Newfoundland catch unknown creature tha--OH GOD, KILL IT, KILL IT WITH FIRE AND STOMP OUT THE ASHES
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
OK, what did we get from the cars we burgled last light? Let's see, iPhone, loose change, iPod, bulletproof vest and AR-15 labeled "State Police." Wait, What?
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Flipping off the judge is usually a bad legal strategy, but if you're in a Russian kangaroo court, well, fark it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Your boss wants to know, "Are you straight or gay?" Corporate upward mobility just got complicated
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Can't say Captain Albert Pike from the US Civil War didn't warn us about WW3 ...the final war with Islam. It's all right there in his letter
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Suspected burglar gets into fight with police, discovers that they have no qualms at all when it comes to tasering you in the groin
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Two Muslim women removed from flight for "looking" at the flight crew
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Concord Monitor)
 
 
 
Does this look like the face of a man who would tear down a building with an excavator just for the fun of it?
source: concordmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Before committing an armed robbery, always remember to check your surroundings
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
This little piggy cried 'Wee Wee Wee Wee' all the way to the Mission District
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shields Gazette)
 
 
 
Britain's national cookie shortage crisis is finally at an end, thanks to two planeloads of cookies
source: shieldsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Dangerous serial killer, confined for life, now facing death
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
American History X
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
WHO: The transmission of Zika by sex is more common than originally thought. Not for farkers, but still someone out there might benefit from this news
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Unconventional "Rage Yoga" involves screaming, swearing and beer. Namaste
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Old & busted: Apple vs Samsung IP wars over rounded corners. New hotness: Pie shop IP wars over square pies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Come to "a gun-toting, beef-eating, Constitution-loving establishment" where it's okay to be politically incorrect. That's right. At this diner, these eggs don't run
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Man finds leather pouch in road containing $15,200, decides to take it to police instead of keeping it. The Internet responds in typical fashion: "Meet the dumbest man in Delaware County"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely boat
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Whatever you might want a grasping robot arm for, you're probably going to have to wait a while
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
Nude suspect flees police deputies yelling 'Jehovah'. Women wishing to attend the stoning must buy a beard
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Nothing screams classy quite like a big 'GUCCI' tattooed across your forehead
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Ermahgerd, Erm fehrrd
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
North Korea claims to have a stockpile of "miniaturized nuclear warheads" or as we call them, "bottle rockets"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Biscayne Bay goes nuclear
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Kennedy Center inserts Q-Tip in patrons' ear canals
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Taking that half day off to solve their health problems did not work for Chipotle
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Mein Mein Kampf
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
New app tells you when a high speed chase is taking place so you can drive over and join the fun
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Suspect in shooting of Idaho pastor arrested outside White House
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kraft: We've secretly replaced our old Mac & Cheese recipe with one featuring all-natural ingredients. Let's see if anyone notices. (Three Months Later) I said, "Let's see if anyone notices"
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 08, 2016
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Happy retirement to Leslie Shook, otherwise known as "biatchin Betty", the voice of Boeing F-18s who has warned numerous pilots to pull up, pull up, roll right, roll right
source: blogs.mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Womb transplant recipient looking forward to nine months of pregnancy. That's hysterical
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Finally, something that Millennials can brag about: Getting conned
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald News)
 
 
 
An argument over "proper reptile care techniques" at a local pet store escalated into a fight that left three people hospitalized
source: heraldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
How LAPD detective posing as busboy in Orange County Chuck E. Cheese-style pizza playland busted California's worst serial killer. This is why Zodiac ate at home
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Shoplifting tip: Infants are not an acceptable form of payment
source: 973kissfm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ho-Hum: Painting your fingernails. Yawn: Fingernail extensions. Fark: Gluing dead baby scorpions on your fingernails
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War on the Rocks)
 
 
 
Want to not sleep for weeks? Check out a former US secretary of defense listing of the ways we could meet our demise via nuclear annihilation
source: warontherocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Facebook has patented an algorithm designed to detect new slang, probably before you've ever heard of it
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop what can be seen through this keyhole
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meet the Gaza Samson....well, without the hair and being Jewish, but still....they drop knives on his stomach as he exercises
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSLA Shreveport)
 
 
 
Woman says a naked man walked into her house, tried to hug her and said "Hi honey." He later had to be rescued after running from police, falling down a cliff and getting stuck in a tree. The Aristocrats
source: ksla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
Well, on the positive side she used a new knife to stab the husband and only stabbed him once more while driving him to the hospital
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Put a Tiger in your tank
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Apparently on someone's "to do" Calendar at the DOJ, March 2016 included the entry "Crack down on all the prominent scofflaws with cult-like followings": Feds deal a a double blow to the leadership of Warren Jeff's FLDS sect
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
He must've had an awful lot of laundry to do
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Now that's what I call a great day at the beach
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ynet)
 
 
 
Knife attack on tourist area of Jaffa port south of Tel Aviv leaves 1 one dead and 9 injured
source: ynetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
It seems that the mother isn't coming forward with the whole truth about her twins discovered to have two different fathers
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Bad enough when a guy posts a nude pic of his ex online, but decidedly worse when his mom posts it. WTF: The girl was a preteen
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember the mummified sailor that was found adrift on February 25th? Yeah well apparently he was discovered back on January 31st but the USCG told the boat that found him to go on their merry way because they'd take care of it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Fate delivers swift kick in the nuts to brother of major Lottery winner
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
You can now get a lifetime supply of free puppies in Australia. Unclear, if a lifetime supply of old newspapers and new furniture is included in the deal
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Cockfighting ring busted in Texas. Ringleaders name: Rowdy Fowler
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Apparently a night of shootin' can tucker out a 75-year-old
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. But packs of wild dogs? Screw that
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
You'll love the taste of Mr. Sato's salty, sweaty balls
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Norwegian man finds fortune in cash under his apartment fireplace, reacts like a Norwegian: "That money wasn't mine and it felt nice to give it to something good like a cancer foundation"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah to decriminalize bigamy. Wait, no. That should be REcriminalize bigamy. Honest mistake
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
New dildonian passenger video shows LaVoy Finicum's last moments - and demolishes Bundy conspiracies
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this belly flopper
source: img11.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Meet the last American in Damascus. "I want to leave, but the Syrian people are just so nice"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
One down, six to go
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women line up to pound the crap out of their husbands in traditional Women's Day activity in China
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Police: Turn off the car and step out. Suspect: OK, but let me finish this joint, first
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Burglar 1: Ok, so you just need to jump though the garage window, land on the office roof and then we can rob the place. Got it? Burglar 2: Ok, no problem. Ta-daaaaah....Burglar 1: Oh, sh*t
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I wonder what our new BFFs Iran have been up to since the world eased sanctions over the nuclear programme. Oh, hell
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coventry Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man jailed for eight additional months for smuggling phone into prison during two-month sentence. Let it go to voicemail, dude
source: coventrytelegraph.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Nissan Sentra wins fight with 18-wheeler
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Test pilot to control tower: The radar's stopped working. Control tower: Have you switched it off and back on again?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts lawmakers return from fact-finding trip to Colorado anxious and paranoid about legal marijuana. Apparently they were doing it wrong
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Maple syrup can work wonders for a number of things, but it can't cure your 1-year-old's easily preventable meningitis
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Mr. Mushface Dies Manhattan
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mayor of Central Florida city planning to visit Cuba and then return home on a makeshift raft because Florida
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Man accused of threatening a school bus monitor with a gun descends into the high stakes world of bongo theft
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Minn)
 
 
 
She flew fighters and bombers to make sure they were safe for the men of the Army Air Corps to fly. RIP Betty Strohfus, WASP, WWII veteran
source: southernminn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If you find yourself drunk, naked from the waist down, and crashing into a Waffle House, you'd better be in Florida. The rest of the country frowns upon that sort of thing
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
A whole bunch of people on the internet think a refugee swam from Afghanistan to France with only a pack of ramen and half a charge in his iPhone 6s
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Exactly how many people did the U.S. kill with drone strikes? We're about to find out
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yorkshire Post)
 
 
 
The average Brit drinks their entire weekly govenment-suggested alcohol quota in one day
source: yorkshirepost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Need to lose weight? Just drill a hole in your stomach and pump the food out
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Upset that America is close to voting for Donald Trump as president, El Niño decides to take its anger out on the entire world
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Never call the cops for a ride home. Especially if you are underage and intoxicated
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Garbage truck driver tries to recreate that highway jump scene from "Speed," doesn't do so well
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Would-be attacker picks the wrong woman
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Man shoots at school buses, charged with attempted eye putting out
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
As more and more States are allowing the sale of marijuana, the drug trafficking cartels are losing money
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Gun industry wants silencers legalized so they can be sold as hearing protectors
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pretty white female lawyer problems
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man reunited with his 18-year-old blind and deaf dog. At least as far as the dog knows
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bro)
 
 
 
Stretch your Photoshop muscles on this banner-bearing bro
source: media.cmgdigital.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
"They don't make these anymore," said the Sole Survivor of Vault 111 as he rebuilt the signaling system of the MBTA
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Commuter train derailed near San Francisco. 10 hurt, Search and Rescue deployed
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My teenage son dated a classmate at summer camp; when they got home, she stopped talking to him. Turns out, he's sent her thousands of text messages and is accused of stalking her. Can I blame the girl for not telling him to stop?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
She's once... twice... tree times a drunk lady
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Trump campaign official awaiting trial for participation in Bundy Ranch standoff wants bail so he can resume running for sheriff
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ben and Jerry's introduces new ice cream sandwiches. SHUT UP and take my money
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New outrage: Astronauts at international conference complain that only privileged countries get to go into space
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Consensual BDSM is not protected by the constitution, but don't worry you can still have all the guns you want
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 07, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sure the Pacific Northwest could be decimated by a megaquake that hasn't happened yet, but here's a terrifying simulation of what it would look like... just in case you're looking forward to it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Wild otter visits California aquarium to give birth. D'awwwww
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Another change. REMAIN CALM!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Uber discloses rape data after leak. In other news, Uber keeps rape data
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Old-timey ads for new products
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You really do have a better chance of dying in a car crash than in a terrorist attack
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
"Elementary teacher creates 'Gentleman's Club' for kids." Great idea; marketing might need a little work
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
City Planning Commission to soon debate how many strip clubs is too many in New Orleans, will consider the imposition of a "soft moratorium" on new clubs. Hard moratorium to come later after commision members have visited all the clubs
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Now's the time of the collision vhen ve dance
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, although a man with a plane comes close
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Monocles dislodged, tea cups & saucers rattled as earthquake hits Oxfordshire UK
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Le ring to sacre bleu them all
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Virginia about to end marriages for twelve year olds. Don't worry, she's still your sister
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Climate change activist dead. Sea level rise blamed
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The BarkPost)
 
 
 
If you think your dog is smart, prepare to be humbled when you give her a doggie IQ test: "At one point, she tried to suck the cheese through the towel"
source: barkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Serious Cybernetics Corps
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bracket Buster)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Impending madness edition
source: westcoasttrustsestates.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
This Alabama Supreme Court decision on gay adoptions was so bad the U.S. Supreme Court reversed it without even hearing the case
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War on the Rocks)
 
 
 
Abandoned cold war military cities in Latvia are creepier than Ted Cruz's face
source: warontherocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Back in the good old days when 'freedom' still meant something in this country, it was perfectly legal to wrassle a bear at the county fair
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Clowns converge on Orlando for convention, in news that strangely has nothing to do with the GOP primary
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
To this day, the creators of Spy Magazine still get magazine clippings from Trump, with his hands circled in gold Sharpie, titled "See, not so short." Carter, now Vanity Fair Editor: "I'm sure he wants to just kill me - with those little hands"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
At this point, we should probably just assume there are more FBI agents than perverts on the dark web. Admittedly, there may be some overlap, especially if you consider the ones that run the child porn servers
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Life lesson: If you live your life with your nose stuck to your phone, you miss so much; interaction with friends and family, the beauty of nature...the baseball bat hurtling at your head
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Spain tells Britain the moment after the "Brexit," they will immediately seize control of Gibraltar
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
The secret alien UFO base is actually at Yellowstone National Park
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
In hindsight, that whole KKK school skit was probably a poor idea
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today BMW celebrates 100 years of getting you to the gym in 26 minutes
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Remember the UK street beggar who finished his shift and then climbed into his $70,000 Audi? Well, let's hope he has comprehensive glass coverage
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Scientists devise the "perfect road trip" - a big loop through all 48 continental states, visiting 50 different landmarks. It doesn't really matter where you live, so just hop on the path in whatever state you live in
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
New report says the Flint, Michigan water crisis could cost the U.S. $300 billion, or we could just buy the entire state of Michigan for $300,000 and call it a done deal
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"There's lots of skinny dipping and the girls are making out with each other and partying. It looks like the set of a porn movie"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bulletproof furniture available in either duck down or hide, nuclear war declared on a frisbee golf course, and Ben Cur rides again: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/28 - 3/5
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Federal authorities reject plan for development with 2,200 homes near Grand Canyon. Apparently government officials were worried about prospective buyers filing insurance claims on the massive sinkhole in their backyard
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Ambient air at Maryland frat party had an alcohol level of .09%. Which was either from excessive drinking or someone pouring a fifth of vodka into the Renuzit container
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginia: Gun permits? We don't need no stinking gun permits. Or training either
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
City kids have shaved ices in summer. Vermont kids have sugar on snow. Goofus and Gallant were not harmed in this headline submission
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dapper convict
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
At the behest of Nebraska and and Oklahoma, the Supreme Court is deciding on whether or not to nullify Colorado's pro-pot laws
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently beets are a super food...a super food that tastes like dirt and old people's feet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Ralph Gilbertsen says the CIA has been stalking him for two decades. He believes in Bigfoot. He has seen a UFO. And he wants his guns back
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLFY Eyewitness News)
 
 
 
A Judge has been fined and removed from the bench after attempting to bribe a prosecuting attorney to drop charges against his family
source: klfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aspen Times)
 
 
 
In Aspen, Colorado, pot sales are beginning to overtake liquor sales
source: aspentimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
Creepy caretaker in disguise flees from police in the most inconspicuous getaway vehicle ever. Jinkies!
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Have you ever thought 'The only thing missing in America is a beer spa'? Well this is your lucky day
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nikkei Asia Review)
 
 
 
Chinese young women achievers not interested in marriage, despite pressure from parents and party. In their opinion, the available men grew up as only children, lack responsibility, and "rely on their parents for everything"
source: asia.nikkei.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
How light is crime in Norway? The police force has the time and resources to try and track down the person who left behind a goldfish in a jam jar at an indoor soccer stadium. "Until then, the fish will stay in the jam jar and keep us company"
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
How to look after the hedgehogs in your garden. Because they are lactose-intolerant, a dish of milk is right out: "A bowl of fresh water left out every day is a good option, as are cooked potatoes, chopped nuts, and sultanas"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Koalas aren't so cute when they open their mouths
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pakistani lawyers demonstrate why American attorneys lag behind the douchebaggery curve
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
From the Nope files. The ten foot Bobbit Worm that is like the worm from Tremors, but actually exists
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Dating was simpler 70 years ago. "We wrote for a year or two," she said. "When he came home, we got married"
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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