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Sun February 21, 2016
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
The ultimate Fark sport: The Ivory Quest. Drunken, costumed bikers and skiers race through the snowy Alaska wilderness. Riders get minutes shaved off their time by consuming beer en route. This year's winner was... pretty drunk
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Of all the places you should stash a loaded gun a child's bassinet should not be one of them
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sometimes the saying 'hitting the wall' becomes a little more real when kite surfing
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bugaboo not enjoying the Chicago skyline
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Air fresheners and scented candles "kill 40,000 people every year"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
CHP asking for help identifying suspects wanted for fleeing crash on foot, crimes against fashion
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Fallen WWII soldier's dog tag found on Pacific island. Still no sign of Amelia Earhart
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this eruption
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Judge: "You have been accused of committing a very serious crime. How do you respond?" Defendant: "What's up, y'all? You can follow me on Twitter follow me on Instagram, Snapchat"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
At the age of 97, legendary test pilot Eric "Winkle" Brown gets a new set of wings
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That shooter in Kalamazoo last night? Yeah, he was driving for Uber and picked up fares in the midst of his spree. Seriously, you can't make this stuff up
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Not feeling they've abused them enough, airline books delayed passengers into S&M hotel
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Attorney who received a red light camera ticket took it to court and made the city of Orlando look foolish
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Number of Americans who have applied to become an astronaut is out of this world
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Really? Nobody wants a smokin' sweet 62-year-old fireboat with history written all over her deck that you can have for less than a month's rent
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What do you mean you can't afford to eat on what we pay you? You're not Yelping. No, really, GTFO. You're fired
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this family in their kitchen
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Nicknames
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
What do you get a 110-year-old woman for her birthday? OFF HER LAWN
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Arctic-born bird found living at Southern California hotel. No word on how much it has spent on room service
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headlines & Global News)
 
 
 
81-year-old woman chases down the robbers who stole her purse, crashes into their car to leave behind evidence that authorities could use to track them down, makes the rest of us look wussy
source: hngn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Random shooter causing ongoing hullabaloo in Kalamazoo. UPDATE: Suspect arrested
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 20, 2016
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Last Treblinka survivor dies, as do his memories: "It never leaves me. It stays in my head. It goes with me always"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Do we really need more reasons to not find a roommate on Craigslist?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Doctors say pregnant women should be routinely screened for depression - because after all, they're living with the constant reminder that they actually gave it up for you
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: An improvement to a current tourist attraction
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
If you hurry, you can still buy a ticket for Best Korea's first-ever air show: "Only 636 spaces for international visitors are available and North Korean citizens are not allowed in"
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but my bank propositioned me on Twitter
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Salisbury Cathedral moves huge sculpture because people keep walking into it while they're texting. Bonus for use of word 'gobsmacked' to describe situation
source: premierchristianradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
State officials release plea encouraging drivers to stop driving slow in the left lane on the interstates. You know, the PASSING LANE WHY ARE YOU GOING 60 IN A 75 YOU STUPID TWIT
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beauty sleep
source: images.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby rhino born at Toronto Zoo
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Police have arrested a serial burglar who robbed 86 nail salons in 32 towns over the past ten months because of his hoodie
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Jared Fogle claims time was added to his prison sentence for child molestation "fantasies," which are technically not doing anything wrong
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Welcome to Virginia, where even our deer love booze"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Ever have one of those days that you just want to totally strip for airport security and everything about your cunning plan goes wrong?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Old school: bullies stealing kid's lunch money. New school: school board members stealing lunch money
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Virginia wants a secret police
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
No, bartenders did not invent the tiny cocktail umbrella to shade the drink and prevent ice from melting too quickly
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Photoshop this circularly polarized dipole over a metal surface, exciting surface plasmons unidirectionally
source: cdn.phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
"Certified" pre-owned Mercedes turns into "certified" pile of smoldering metal after 200 point inspection evidently did not include repairs required by manufacturer's recall. "I didn't expect the car would catch on fire or, even less, explode"
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Jesper the cat likes to go skiing, pigeon-watching in public squares and visiting TV show sets. He does not like taking baths though, especially on Caturday
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
I hope that I shall never see / Affordable housing take the place of a tree
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"NO. DINOSAURS - ARE - NOT - REAL. READ - THE - BIBLE" Ⓕ see me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Cyclone Winston is currently slamming into Fiji's capital in a direct hit. With sustained winds over 135 mph and gusts over 200 mph, it's one of the most powerful cyclones ever recorded
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drinking more coffee may undo all that damage years of beer and Makers drinking has done to your liver
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
There's really no kosher medical marijuana out on the market
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're a rare book dealer with $350,000 worth of books in your van, don't park that van in Oakland
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Uncut)
 
 
 
Ahhh...the memories of YMCA summer camp. Campfires, singing, S'mores, crafts, swimming, fishing, black children acting as slaves on the auction block while some teachers and camp instructors acted as slave masters, chasing them on horseback
source: usuncut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Today's forecast in Chicago, high winds with occasional showers of glass shards
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 19, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
A sunny Friday is reason enough for this week's Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You'll be mesmerized after watching ice stacking up on Lake Superior. Yes it's a slow news day
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Police ask anyone who sees a body floating in the river to call 911
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Evidence emerges linking Best Korea to Iran's new missile technology
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Beltway reopens to usual traffic jams after a super traffic jam
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Fußballspielerin
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Turns out Obama's move for our guns was a ruse all along. He actually wants to take away our hoverboards
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man trolls his neighbors by creatively sculpting tree in his yard
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Plumber arrested for showing customer his faucet
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Man who exposed himself 9 times over 11 years may go into group home, Rudy Guiliani speeches
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Guy: You got bath salts in my ecstasy. Other Guy: No, you got ecstasy in my bath salts. Let's...open your head and feast on the nougaty colors inside
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Officer on a one-man crusade to save Skid Row, which really hasn't been the same since Gary Moore died and Sebastian Bach moved on
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mysterious man
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Man files a lawsuit after he says bar staff refused to serve him because of the owner's "No Polynesians" policy, which, you have to admit shows an impressive range and dedication to bigotry for a bar owner in UTAH
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un's nuclear tests might make North Korea's volcano erupt. Scientists predict it could be the most impressive Darwin Awards death ever
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Parents upset after students kept locked inside Sherwood Forest Elementary School during bomb threat to school. Officials cite marauding archer and portly sidekick in the neighborhood
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hickory Daily Record)
 
 
 
Waffle House waitress arrested for mething with coworker's drink, putting him in coma
source: hickoryrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Apparently the U.S. has a classified cave complex in Norway full of tanks
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nation building fake islands and putting missile launchers and military air strips on them accuses the U.S. of militarizing the area
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Texas officials became immediately suspicious of town's water when they realized it was black
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Woman finds snake head in can of green beans, plans to take it to an Italian restaurant to drink cappuccino with an Oriental woman
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Non-venomous Australian snake attempts alternative method to kill humans
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man professes his love for underage teenager, gives her the traditional gift of cocaine
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy allowed to return home to Nevada
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Anti-gay group hatches a cunning plan. What could possibly go wrong?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
To Kill A Mockingbird Author
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US forces drop some much needed bombing supplies on ISIS camp in Libya
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"And our proud constitution is w--" "SPANK ME HARDER, HELGA" "Hang on a sec, let me just close these tabs"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
This year's list of the 20 most ticketed cars shows a continued, strong "douche-to-ticket" correlation
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this overabundance of cladding
source: i.imgbox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Was it over when the helicopter bombed Pearl Harbor?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man plotted to start "incest family" with woman and her two young daughters, or as they call it in Alabama, a "traditional family"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sorry ma'am, we can't violate our religious directives so we'll just wait 18 hours for you to develop sepsis to remove your miscarriage
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
Irish pub wins right to display vintage tobacco signs. "The whole thing was absolutely f***ken stupid," said the owner
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Pope says that using condoms is better than getting a little head
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pin head virus could infect adults
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Benzodiazepine overdose deaths have soared in recent years thanks to them being the go-to prescription for anxiety. The number of marijuana overdoses in the same time frame is still zero
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
When used up blowup sex dolls get old they go to retire in the fields ...as scarecrows
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
High winds damage Ikea sign and shut down interstate 25. This is what happens when you can't figure out where to put that last screw
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Another search underway by principals who caught Syed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 18, 2016
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Snickers trolls the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
"Serial Stowaway" tries to take off again
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
First rule of real-life Chinese fight club is ...you don't let the world in to see what you're doing
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Can I mishk you a drink, oshifer?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe being torn apart, this time over stolen panties and Lacoste shirts
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Italian 'coffee king' buried in coffee pot. Must be one of the perks
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Neighborhood frustrated by mystery noise (w/ sample)
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Best Korea preparing for Big 'Un
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this awkward scene
source: i.ytimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. (Void if surrounded by turkeys)
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indian Country Today)
 
 
 
Slogan: "Returning the land to its rightful owners." Reality: Burns Paiute tribal chairwoman is getting threats from dildo patriots
source: indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When "you have to do what the police tell you to do" collides with your gag reflex, trust the latter
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Rare horse born in spellcheck nightmare
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good news and bad news. Good news is your cancer is in remission. Bad news is you caught the swine flu at our hospital
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I was so nervous during the interview that when he asked what I wanted to be in five years, I said, 'Race car driver'"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The cost of a long and healthy marriage is precisely £267,357
source: mindfulmoney.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Brussels is having a huge traffic problem, and some hungry mice are to blame for all of it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Shellfish time, shrimps. Yes, we want to see your mussels and clams. And knowing Farkers, there will be booze involved
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
God is dead. --Twitter
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
For the second day in a row, some asshat has put San Diego Naval Base on lockdown
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
So, stop me if you've heard this one, President Obama, Morgan Freeman, and Tom Hanks walk into a restaurant
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Today is National Drink Wine Day and... oh, I see you've already started. Carry on
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this canoeing chick
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scout (New Zealand))
 
 
 
Well, if you're from New Zealand, you can learn the culture of the traditional haka war dance and do it with other Maoris respectfully. Or if you're a Spanish TV personality, you can just wing it
source: scout.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
First there were handicap parking spots and I was happy, then there were expectant mom parking spots and I was meh. Now the are mother and child parking spots and I was outraged
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"I shouldn't have to see the pain, struggle, and despair of homeless people to and from my way to work every day" says San Francisco millionaire who wants people to go and be poor somewhere else
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
You have the right to an attorney and to have one present during questioning. If you so desire but cannot afford one, too bad because the Public Defenders Office just ran out of money and closed
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Machete beats deli tray, gun beats machete
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ford builds the world's most pot-holed road to test new models of cars. Why didn't they just drive thru Chicago?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Teacher charged with assault after knocking gun out of student's hand. Correction: Teacher charged with assault after knocking candy out of student's hand
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Police offer advice to people who claim they're the victims of revenge porn: "'Grow up and stop taking naked photos to avoid becoming a victim"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Dogs are welcome. Bankers...that'll be €70,000 entry
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pub combines Guinness and Smirnoff Ice for new cocktail: "It's blasphemy and heaven at the same time. I'm not sure how I feel about this"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Underground fire in Missouri threatens nuclear waste dump
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Sadly Poh the dog has come to the end of his bucket-list due to cancer. R.I.P. Good boy, the rainbow bridge is this way
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vocativ)
 
 
 
Upside of being a straight male porn star: being paid to sleep with beautiful porn actresses. Downside: when you have to go to the hospital to have needles stuck in your penis so it doesn't die
source: vocativ.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
How the ideal male body changes in different countries. Man, if you lived in Macedonia, you'd be hot
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
American river otter drowned at Calgary Zoo after being given a pair of unauthorized trousers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Thief arrested after renting out stolen bees. Investigators going nearsighted checking serial numbers
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Uh, in the butt, Bob
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
The next time a stranger brushes against you and you check for your wallet, don't be too reassured if it's still there
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Sometimes when you want to know how many people will show up to mourn at your funeral you have to have a pre-funeral for yourself
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a pharmacy, make sure the two time state boxing champion isn't standing just feet away
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pesci Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stubby lure
source: cdn.bassaholics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
You will soon be able to take "Crack and Hookers 101" in high school in DC
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bottoms up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Everybody hairy panic
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The University of Texas will now allow guns in classrooms, bell towers
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Grand jury indicts dildo sandwich
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you're going to pull a dolphin out of the water and take it onto the beach for everyone to pet and take pictures with, could you at least put it back in the water when you're done and not just dump it in the sand?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Cabbage Patch Kids are making a comeback, only creepier
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
These days you can make more money as a babysitter than somebody with a degree in philosophy
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Americans don't drink enough wine. This needs addressed
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
ᴴᵃᶫᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳᶫᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˢʰᵒʳᵗ ˢᶦᵍʰᵗᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ²⁰⁵⁰
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Shawna Cox files Sovereign Dildo brief with court
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 563: "Daybreak 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 17, 2016
(NPR)
 
 
 
After 14 years of annoying travelers and missing weapons in checked bags, the TSA opens an academy for baggage screeners
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIII Corpus Christi)
 
 
 
Take a morning dip in the bay, swim the channel, flee the police, unmoor a boat, visit a restaurant and it's not even 7AM? And you're still naked? Screw coffee, booze is the new morning beverage of the go-getters
source: kiiitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
78-year-old grandfather embarks on new career, starts an internship because sometimes you just get tired of talking to your dogs and cats who don't talk back
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
Weeners
 
Man dismayed to wake up and see his new 10-inch penis (Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News (Australia))
 
 
 
Iraq is searching for 'stolen' radioactive material, suspect is described as between 6 feet and 2 miles tall, blue and frequently nude
source: skynews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
El Niño is so massive it's de-El Niño'd itself
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Christian radio host arrested for inappropriate laying on of hands
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sometimes, you just can't improve a headline: Shotgun-wielding man threatens to kill girlfriend after becoming jealous of breastfeeding infant
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: What light through yonder window breaks?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Comically inept robbery leads to comically inept prosecution
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Cloudy with a chance of prison time
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Army develops pizza that will last 3 years, will call it Dominos
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Problem: Frozen pipes. Solution: Blowtorch. Result: Predictable
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
I couldn't have murdered my neighbor. I spent the day using heroin, trying to buy more heroin and running other errands, such as walking my dog
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Authorities seize Dong in Detroit's airport. Dang, TSA groping is out of hand
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
Investigators: Paris terrorist were planning to go nuclear on Belgium
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Male inmate gives female inmate plastic baggie of sperm so she can get pregnant and avoid execution. Romance isn't dead, you guys
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drunken monkey knife fight
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
How to tell if that tuna sandwich you found under the bed is still good to eat
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this kitten is watching
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
There's only a little gym mat in your grated parmesan cheese
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Girlfriend finds very unsubtle way of keeping other women from approaching her man. Downside: Her boyfriend has to wear it... along with "Shoot me now" expression
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
Connecticut farm hosts inadvertent beef and bacon cookout, neglects to provide coleslaw
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Zika? In my semen? Its more likely than you think
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Protip - If you plan to evade police using a smokescreen, you might want to turn the device off before the trail of smoke leads to where you are hiding
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Remind me again, what's the toll for taking a backhoe for a joyride on a Florida bridge?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
Write a paper about a supernova and nobody cares. Write a letter to Deng Xiaopeng and everybody loses their goddamn minds
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
♫Just a Farktown writer, living in this lonely internet. He took the writer's thread, and sent it annn-nny-where. Just a small thread subby, trying to keep the funny...♫ THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread. "I've run out of puns" Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"All I'm saying is, I'm the expert on beautiful wom...uh, I mean exorcism"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
France is going to "allow" employees to ignore their work emails when they're off the clock. Yes. Allow them to ignore
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Daredevils scale a skyscraper in China to take what may be the ultimate self-portrait. Vertigo alert
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Apple)
 
 
 
Apple takes on the Man. Eve makes popcorn. The snake last seen in a tree giggling hysterically. Adam still trying to find a clean shirt
source: apple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Juilliard trained cellist stopped with 113 lbs. of marijuana. Apparently strung out
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The government finally allows Cliven Bundy to live rent free on federal land. Mission accomplished
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Express Tribune (Pakistan))
 
 
 
Here is the one case where eating sushi in Japan is a punishment
source: tribune.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered where dictators and strongmen get their giant statues from? As it turns out, North Korea
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Massive 404-carat diamond not found in Angola
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
42-year-old grandmother busted for having sex in front of her 2-year-old grandson while high
source: crime.blog.palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
If you were expecting thousands to protest Beyonce's performance at the Superb Owl, you might want to sit down for this. Or, you can mutter in befuddlement like the three that actually did show up in front of the NFL office in NYC
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Assembled crowd goes wild for German shorthaired pointer. This is not a repeat from World War II
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
How many times can you be caught at 18 years old impersonating a doctor and running a fake medical practice before you get arrested? In Fark's favorite state, the answer is 3
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
One more opportunity to celebrate the life of Farker, dolphkhan. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Auschwitz museum releases software to change 'Polish death camps' to 'German death camps' in documents
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop these watery globes
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maryland college swim coach manages to find the only underage girl on the internet who isn't an undercover cop
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
I'm a whale shark, I'm a whale shaaaark, Suck my...oh wait, you're rescuing me from the fishing rope? Carry on
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis loses his cool with person who almost knocked him down. Sounds like he should lighten up
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Remember that supposed agreement Bill Cosby had with a former district attorney that he wouldn't be charged with drugging and violating an ex-Temple University employee? Well a judge has "found the evidence of such an agreement lacking"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Relax. The US Marshals aren't arresting people for failing to pay $1500 in student loans. They're arresting people for failure to appear in court to address their delinquent federal student loans. Which is totally not the same thing
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
We're not asking Apple to give up the keys. We're asking Apple to make this phone crackable so we can brute force its key ourselves. And because this $5 wrench doesn't work too well on a dead guy
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Dad was gone only two hours before returning home to find his 24-year-old daughter naked and passed out from swilling Capt. Morgan, with the 2-year-old she was supposed to watch playing beside her. Bonus: McKayla Maroney mug shot
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The US had a cyberattack planned that would have targeted Iran if nuclear negotiations failed. It would have affected air defenses, communications, and if things had really gone bad, it would have played Coldplay nonstop until Iran surrendered
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Guns, Bombs, and Poop. No word on the dildos
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Zooming in too far on Google maps produces some impressively messed up images
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson County Daily Journal)
 
 
 
US flying four F-22 stealth fighters over South Korea in a show of force that might just cause North Korea to declare nuclear war on the Sea of Japan once and for all
source: dailyjournal.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 16, 2016
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Panic in New York after "explosion" on subway train sends everyone into a "stampede"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
ISIS: Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have eliminated our 401K, cut health benefits, froze salaries, and limited your after-death virgins to 10
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Scientists discover "stoner gene." Hah, I know that dude
source: national.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Why is breaking up so hard on you? Here comes the weird neuroscience
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
South America attempts to regain 'Most Dangerous Continent' title with discovery of four-mile stretch of river...that boils
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage car and driver
source: i1034.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Sheriff hears gunshots near his house, blames ... wait, who?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Prisoner escapes pen by swallowing two of them
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Florida fears it could become the next Texas. Geez what kind of tag will that require?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Member of elite faculty denounces her arrest over parking ticket while ignoring the whole suspended driver's license and arrest warrant bits
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Police search for Radio Shack thief. If only they had his telephone number
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mad Libs headline time: Starving witch boy in Nigeria named Hope receives donations of over 1 million Danish kroner
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Take a daily Purple Pill to keep raging fires from the depths of Hell itself from vaporizing your esophagus? Good news, in a few decades, you won't care if you have an esophagus, or pretty much anything else
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enormously enthusiastic head
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Driver intentionally runs down jogger. Cops weren't sure until they noticed a series of stick figures with x's through each one, on the sun visor of the driver's car
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Driver flees on foot after being "thrown to safety" as his truck rolls over. This is why you should never wear a seat belt
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Filipinos google 'how to do necrophilia', unknown creepy Spanish B movie gets six million hits
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando police looking for discarded baby. Apparently the deposit on those things is significant
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
Traders at historic market district upset that vendors are selling penis-shaped sausages, apparently forgetting that ALL sausages are penis-shaped
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chew Boom)
 
 
 
Just when you thought you found a great place to dine on gourmet cat and dog meat you find out the whole thing was an elaborate hoax
source: chewboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"And now for tonight's traffic report: Traffic is very light tonight with no major problems...but you should watch out for the 25-foot long Triceratops. If you see it, you must go faster, must go faster"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sixteen year-old Syrian claims refugee status entering Canada from the US, is at risk of being deported since the US isn't dangerous for Syrian refugees. Yet. Listen, check with them again in a year, eh?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Please note: safe gun storage locations do not include 'under your girlfriend as she flops into bed'
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Fill up on pump #3. That'll be 26 cents please
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Giant drones, sub-aquatic cities, and no more sick days. Take a peek into the year 2116
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
Reasons against doing drugs: addiction, risk of job loss/incarceration, impact on health, high expense, and there's a small chance that you may decide that cutting off your penis is a good idea
source: journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dear parents. Please refrain from getting baked when dropping your kids off or collecting your kids from school
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
People on Easter Island didn't become cannibals after using up all the resources. That's just a way better story so it stuck
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Wearing a device that tracks calories burned during routine exercise. New and Giggity: A device that tracks calories burned during sex
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Poor little piglet born with the world's itchiest eyes
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Kijiji ad: Cleaning lady needed for light sweeping, dusting, sexual assault
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former secretary general of the UN, has has died
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Relative of the deceased: "Yeah, our relative passed away a few years ago and we would like to collect on his insurance policy." Kentucky insurance companies: :crickets:
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
No, officer, you can't go around tasering teenage girls in the groin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Newborn baby found in toilet at Subway restaurant, saved before he was forced to make fresh bread
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You know it's gonna be a bad day when you wake up and find a porcelain toilet on your driveway with a frozen raccoon inside it
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wait, so you're saying DON'T apply fake tanning lotion with a roller?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Islam threatens Christian with a large curved knife over bad service at car wash
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
No, the camera isn't hidden behind the wallpaper. The camera *is* the wallpaper. Enjoy your next hotel stay
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLFY Eyewitness News)
 
 
 
Driving drunk? Check. Broadcasting the whole thing on the internet via Periscope? Check? Claiming she was just looking to have some fun? Check. Florida? Check. Jail time? Negative
source: klfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Woman assaults club bouncer using football and wrestling moves, now is being looked at by the WWE for their next diva
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo.net)
 
 
 
Photoshop this innovative air transportation
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 26 Houston)
 
 
 
Defaulting on your student loan? The US Marshals may have your arrest warrant
source: fox26houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Woman flies thousands of miles, reaches out to pharmacologists, linguists, and researchers, then hikes up old lava flows to answer a simple question: can you orgasm from sniffing a mushroom?
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
You can't arrest me, I'm in a lake
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
To avoid catching the flu from all their patients with the flu, doctors gargle with lemon water, drink lavender tea, and stuff garlic cloves under the armpits. Just kidding. They get flu shots like normal people
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sexy model gets her photo session bombed by two monkeys farking
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Remember that Indian leopard that attacked a bunch of people at a school? The one that they caught? It's escaped
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Nobody's talking about the fact that the market for recycled plastic is drying up because oil is so cheap and cities that used to make money from recycling are now paying to have the stuff taken away
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
You haven't been doing chopsticks all wrong. Chopsticks have been all wrong
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Death Valley life finds a way
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New poll shows many student loan holders would take a punch or cut off digits if their student loans would be forgiven
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
When you're a rock band whose gimmick is to start fires on stage, maybe you should check to see if the venue you play in doesn't have sprinklers first
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Russians get to claim the US isn't the only one with a "bomb Doctors Without Borders" collectible trading card
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 15, 2016
(Vice)
 
 
 
"A British marketing company has just created a craft beer using data collected from thousands of tweets. We may have reached peak Millennial"
source: munchies.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Dutch claim to have opened the world's first poop bank. They obviously haven't heard of Wells Fargo
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Coolest food status symbols of 2016. Sea salt is OVER; 'all the cool kids are sprinkling smoked salt, Viking smoked salt, Truffle salt, Persian blue salt and Black Lava salt now'
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eugene Register-Guard)
 
 
 
Man pulled head first into woodchipper expected to survive after taking just a little off the top
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
If you really must have your student film project include gun-toting costumed characters, could you please shoot the video off campus? Thanks, that'd be great
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Shah Rukh Khan, let me rock you. Let me rock you, Shar Rukh Khan
source: jantakareporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
You should be drinking soda for breakfast, says the non-biased individuals at Coke and Pepsi headquarters
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Your state might have a problem if cities and school districts have to hire lobbyists to get the legislature to notice them
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Bone-chilling temperatures did not prevent Valentine's Day bandit from striking again this year
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline : Australia police seize meth-filled bras in record drugs bust
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Scientists, presumably male scientists, determine that sex is the best way to stave off dementia
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Re/code)
 
 
 
Further proof we never landed on the Moon: the Astronauts had no ice cream
source: recode.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Military)
 
 
 
Air Force General faints during F-35 briefing. He must have finally seen the price tag
source: popularmilitary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Guess who's 17 years old
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Improve this art gallery exhibition
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Police wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day and accidentally encourage theft and sexual harassment
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man who took six police cars and a helicopter on a 16 mph chase on a stolen tractor jailed eight months. Totally worth it
source: agriland.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The first friendly fire incident of WWI cost the British a really awesome mustache. And the man it called home, but this is mainly about the mustache
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
If you don't like mouse poop for breakfast, don't do the crime
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Obama moves to protect 1.8 million acres of southern California desert. Which in the middle of the current drought is known as the greater Los Angeles area
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Even if a pencil is labeled No. 2, that's not what it's for
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
A little letter from Abraham Lincoln in 1864 now worth $900,000. Now go check the bottom drawer in that old desk in the garage
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Odds are if you're reading this headline, you're not a Comcast customer
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy bulb of garlic
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Some people have a way with words, others, oh...uh...not have way
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
What do the following things have in common: time travel paintings, a wake-up call from US President Barack Obama, owl vomit and flame retardant suit of armor?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Tardy sharks arrive in Florida. But honestly, where else would sharks like that go?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
You want to be a smooth operator when pulling off a jewelry heist? You go all-out bulldozer
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
People fear five-story poop chute recently completed at Shanghai mall
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
And at halftime, it's Longest Tube Escalator In London: 1, Dumbass: 0 (with video)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The latest thing making us fat? Messy kitchens
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
U.N. recognizes the oldest surviving copy of the Hebrew Bible. Archaeologists say it was found inside a nightstand in a room at the Motel 6 in Haifa
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recruiter (UK))
 
 
 
Sick of having to cut each other's hair, residents of northern Canadian town plead for hairdresser to move there
source: recruiter.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
A 100% complete specimen of Homo erectus, a little on the creepy side, a little on the patricide, and superb bowel commercials: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/7 - 2/13
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Here's what it's like to be one of the 24 staff greeting card writers at Hallmark
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
What's the quickest way to get banned for life from teaching? Use obscene language, encourage students to fight each other, and show off that fancy wooden carving of a penis you're so proud of
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Somali terrorist group finally takes responsibility for 2016 nominee for "most inept suicide bombing attempt of the year"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
London invaded by feral parakeets. Thanks a lot, Jimi Hendrix
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Sorry kids, your lunch food doesn't come from happy animals on picturesque farms." Teacher suspended for showing his fifth graders what farm life really looks like
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Scientists can now take a few of your skin cells and make a miniature version of your brain, even though many of us already have one of those in our pants
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Woman goes on British television and says you can't tell her apart from her teenage daughter. Viewers: Ummmmm
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The CIA had crucial intel about the Paris ISIS attack days before it happened
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered what the inside of a cow patty sounds like? Too bad, here it is, anyway
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mirror image
source: images61.fotki.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Happy Valentine's Day, babe. Here are some screenshots of you cheating on me. Hell yes, there's a video
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Leave it to the Millennials to start having weddings in funeral homes and funerals in regular homes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There may be something suspicious about Scalia's death after all: He was staying in the presidential suite at a luxury resort on a trip with a bunch of "friends" from DC, free of charge
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Former executive director of Russia's anti-doping agency has died of "natural causes" two months after resigning his post
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Supremes comment on Justice Scalia's death, say someday they'll be together
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Activist Post)
 
 
 
Feds pour millions into program designed to track down just who exactly is starting all those Internet memes
source: activistpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Attention ladies and gentlemen, please. Would everybody move to the lounge who is not returning a car with a bomb"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Seattle aquarium cancels octopus 'blind date' over cannibalism concerns
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In Texas, a justice of the peace signs a death certificate. Without seeing the body. Because, Texas
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Church of England trolls Richard Dawkins. And it is hilarious
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Dumas arrested for making bomb threat
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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