Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun February 14, 2016
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Forget Zika, shiat just got real
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Scientists say people can accurately judge how trustworthy you are just by looking at your face as you talk about your wife, Morgan Fairchild
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Here's how to tell if a robot is about to take your job
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
There are more slaves today than at any time in human history
source: wnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
This is why you don't friend your insurance company
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this delicate flower
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sniper bullet decapitates ISIS executioner as he teaches recruits how to behead prisoners. It's like BRAAAAIIIINS on your training DAAAAAYYY
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
If you're going to try to scam a free drink at Golden Corral by impersonating a cop, you should know that the real cop in front of you in line can tell the difference between a genuine police badge and a Kentucky concealed carry badge
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A look deep inside America's never-ending attempt to ban sodomy. Deep, deep inside
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In case you didn't notice, a NATO country, Turkey, is now attacking Syrian forces where there is a substantial presence of Russians. This in no way could end badly and does not warrant posting any pictures from the Hunt for Red October
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Pot and strippers. Two great things that go great together
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Here's what a six-alarm fire in below freezing weather looks like
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
6 ugly-ass cheetah cubs born at San Diego Zoo. With SOONx6 pic
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Driver passes time during long police chase by doing drugs, Snapchatting and Instagramming (w/ video)
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lighthouse being attacked
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Geico? An elephant humped my car. No really
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♬ ♬ And I would bike 1100 miles and I would bike 1100 more just to be the man who biked 2200 miles from India to Sweden to fall down at your door DA DA DA DA DA DA DUN DUN DIDDLE DIDDLE AY YAY ♬ ♬
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Business site declares The Onion to be worth $500 million, more than most news outlets it mocks. Nobody knows whether The Onion is being ironic anymore, not even the writers
source: businessetc.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"NBC reported in error members of ISIS were shaving bears to disguise themselves; they have actually been shaving their beards. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Jonathan Coulton's JoCo Cruise 2016 booking is now open. Now offering rum, the lash, and... what's that third thing again? February 21-28, 2016, on Royal Caribbean's Freedom Of The Seas
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Apparently, you aren't zoned for a swingers' club, ma'am"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Annual Central Park Ice Festival cancelled by New York City officials due to cold. Ironic tag pleased to be used appropriately for once
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
These photos will make you wish you were a Mongolian cowboy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Everett police announce they have arrested 'Beardo' the bank robber. Ironically the beard was fake
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Valentine's Day in the 22nd century
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The best laid romantic plans
source: lovepanky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Just when you thought it was over, thousands of new occupiers are flooding the Malheur Refuge
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here is the big thing about growing up poor, and it sticks with you the rest of your life
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Some random dude claiming to be Kanye West's friend may have just swindled Pharma Bro out of $15 million
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Did you get something special from your lover? Who wants to date the man known as Subby? Are you going to buy all the chocolate at the store once that day passes? Here is your Valentine's Day thread for all you lovers out there
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
I used to be a pedestrian like you, then I took a blowdart in the knee
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The FBI wants to remind all of you desperate singles that online scammers will find and exploit your loneliness this Valentine's Day
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Rabbit Hash General Store engulfed in flames. Mayor reportedly barking orders to four fire crews at the time
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 13, 2016
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The biggest business on Valentine's Day? Catching cheaters
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
How do teenage boys get laid these days? Volume, volume, volume
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump in the pocket of Big Popcorn
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Express)
 
 
 
This just in: Supreme Court Justice Scalia is still dead. Thread 2
source: expressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these angry vegetables
source: southernfan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
If you're the agency responsible for a flying manhole cover death of course you will conduct an investigation. With predictable results
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Missiles shipped to Cuba returned - This is not a repeat of 1962
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kinky couple calls police for help because they lost their handcuff key. Police arrive, present outstanding warrant for husband, and thank them for thoughtfully pre-handcuffing him
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
When being watched by the police it might be a good idea to leave your 1.5 lbs of heroin, $20,000 cash and guns at home
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Audit finds pretty much every traffic court in Missouri is a cesspool of corruption and rights violations
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Scalia dies on Texas hunting trip. Dick Cheney's current whereabouts unknown
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman beats husband after discovering he planned to attempt an armed takeover of a federal wildlife sanctuary
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
At least 50 vehicles reported involved in crash on ice-covered I-78, with multiple fatalities
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Province)
 
 
 
Strange lights in the sky weren't actually a UFO, they were just a man flying his box kite 10,000 feet high with LED lights on its tail. Which raises the question: Where the fark can you buy a kite that can fly 10,000 feet high?
source: theprovince.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these kids trying to get ahead
source: 1.mshcdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN gives you a nice list of ways you should feel bad for paying less than $2 a gallon for gas
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Well, what's the point of having a fast car if you can't drive fast?
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tired of cars parking in her driveway, homeowner starts blocking them in with a ton of gravel, a garden trowel and a sign reading 'Happy digging' (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
There are mega yachts, there are private jets, and then there's this insane combination vehicle. It could be the next ultimate toy for billionaires
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Those 8,500 troops, 50 warships and 200 military aircraft deployed along the Ukrainian border this week? They're just there for a "military exercise", according to Russian spokesman Boris Badenov
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A drug dealer who took to Facebook to mock the judge who spared him jail has been ordered to return to court so his sentence can be reviewed"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
All I ever got in a cereal box was a cheap toy
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Whoop Whoop ...Whoopin' it up at the Carnival in Rio since 1953. Debauchery I tells ya
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
F-16 pilot discovers his plane will only take 15 minutes worth of fuel while refueling over ISIS-held territory. KC-135 Stratotanker crew says no worries, we'll keep nursing you with gas until you get home safely
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Are these the worst Valentine's Day photos ever? Well, surely they can't be that bad...*Scrolls* hmmm, it's bad but not that bad...*scrolls" Ok, that's pretty bad ... *scrolls* OH LAWD
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shropshire Star)
 
 
 
Rare Nazi propaganda board game that encourages German children to invade Britain and there's no possible way to lose for sale at British auction. Still a better game than Monopoly
source: shropshirestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this birdwatcher
source: proof.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Not news: Man collects scrap metal, sells it, buys food. News: the food is for the 70-odd feral and homeless cats he cares for. Fark: He hasn't missed a day for over 21 years, or approximately 1,100 Caturdays
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
We lost one of our own today. RIP dolphkhan
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Answering the door covered in blood was a little on the creepy side, but no matter how you slice it, police also think it was a little on the patricide
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
French nuns Awaken the Giant Within, avoid soup kitchen eviction with $25,000 check from rictus-grinning giant they've never heard of. "This is wonderful - now we don't have to be in the street"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Armed robber tries to steal expensive shoes. Victim disarms the robber. Also unarms him
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hai skool seenyers upset they're righting scors ar low on ACT evin if they kan pay $50 to git rescord
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Mercury)
 
 
 
Here they are, your Bundy Militia themed Valentine's Day cards. "'Ammon' love with you, Valentine"
source: blogtown.portlandmercury.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 12, 2016
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, and the Fark Weird News Quiz is back. Which is good, you needed a break from figuring out what to do for your girlfriend for Valentine's Day. Your supermodel girlfriend. From Canada
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The science of combining alcohol and marijuana. Wait... there's a SCIENCE?
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dollar General assumes all their customers have cars built before 1988
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Behold: The ultimate government worker
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are nine diseases you can get from kissing
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely fellow
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Relic of Abe Vigoda will be enshrined in Denver
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Caption His Holiness in a different kind of hat altogether
source: content.wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
How to land a 737 if both pilots had the fish for dinner. Step 1: Apply Chapstick
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop calls Black Lives Matter leader's suicide a "happy ending," receives paid vacation for his trouble
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this winter wonderland
source: image.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman charged in four recent store robberies tells police she needed money for dog food and kitty litter. "Sounds to me like it was... (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) ...pet-ty theft"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Paternity leave is for you to take care of your wife and newborn child, not your horny mistress. You'd think the guy who wrote the paternity leave law would understand that
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Bootstrappy anti government icon would like a government appointed lawyer, please
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Texas-style chili may be beef and spices and not much else, and Cincinnati chili may have spaghetti noodles, but Austrian chili apparently includes hash and magic mushrooms
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
This is why you don't park on snow emergency routes during storm
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this before: US-backed rebels in the Middle East are now fighting against the US
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just the thing to cheer you up on a light-hearted Friday: Desperate death row prisoners' last words revealed
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Drunken Walmart shopper tries to marinate his trout
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Indonesia seeks to stamp out same-sex relationships via the deletion of gay emojis
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Health hazards associated with wind turbines include dodging the 113-foot blades when they fall off
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"Saved By The Bell" themed diner opening in Chicago. Depending on how well he does handling a dish towel, it will be nice for fans to see Screech finding work again
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dildos warn of booby traps
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
NOLA parents have foolproof plan on how to keep their kid from bringing home poor grades
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
After four months in the hospital, a baby weighing just 10 ounces at birth has finally gone home. Doctors say with careful dieting she should still be on track for a career as a supermodel
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're a wannabe soldier claiming to have been awarded a top medal, spend a few extra bucks and hire someone who really understands Photoshop better than you. Just sayin'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Here's why fruits and vegetables taste better in Europe
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHI-TV Terre Haute)
 
 
 
Stranger pledges $1 million to put 26 kindergartners through college. Which by the time they are ready to graduate high school should just about cover one semester
source: wthitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Goodwill wants to help you get rid of all your ex's stuff this Valentine's Day
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rupicapra
source: img06.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Guy eats at all 46 London McDonald's locations in one day. "I've learned about parts of London I didn't know, foods I didn't know, and areas of my body I didn't know could feel pain." Sounds about right
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Have opiate abusing friends or relatives? Several states now sell narcan a previously prescription only antidote over the counter. You still have to call 911 but it beats being dead
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man remembers identity after 30 years, immediately forgets about being known as Agent K
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Looking for a cozy abode in London? Well if you've got $34,650,360, you can snatch up this freshly renovated 13,154-square-foot home where Bowie, Pink Floyd and The Smiths all recorded in when it was Mayfair Recording Studios
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cal Coast News)
 
 
 
Man stabbed three times in fight over sunglasses. I guess you could say things got a little ***puts on Exhibit A*** shady ... YEAAAHHH
source: calcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The good news is we may have found a cure for your cancer. The bad news it requires injecting you with black widow venom
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Cleveland officials: "We're waiving that $500 ambulance bill for that boy that was killed by the police. We're cool now, right?"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
An ex-Playboy model crashes into a motorcycle cop pursuing a speeding driver. Then things start to get weird
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
I'm not a constitutional law expert, but I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the Constitution claiming drivers aren't required to have driver licenses
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 11, 2016
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
By the second trimester, you can distinctly make out a baby's facepalm
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The couple who had their wedding picture taken in front of KFC that went viral are now off to the home of the fried chicken giant and a year's supply of chicken thanks to KFC
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Unarmed black man shot by NYPD officer in 2014. 12 people have a problem with that
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
"The newest hair trend" that you will never actually see anybody wearing
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The Doctor arrested in Thailand. No word on his companion
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Model for Christian Bale's character in American Psycho happy to stay in prison. Not interested in leaving, thanks. Not a problem buddy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Tiger breeding program at Sacramento Zoo ends in violent domestic dispute
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Consumer Product Safety Commission issues warning against Burny Sanders
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Canada: Cryoseism (aka frostquake) watch issued for Toronto area
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
In stunning news, researchers have determined that mountaintop removal mining makes the world flatter
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asia Times)
 
 
 
South Korea fires economic missile at North Korea for its illegal rocket launch, hits China
source: atimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
New Swiss rough terrain rescue drone comes equipped with artificial-intelligence algorithms, neural networks, cameras, sensors, little brandy barrel
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Estately)
 
 
 
Now we know which state searches most for "couples tattoo" and "plus-size lingerie" because of this map of Valentine's Day-related online gift searches
source: blog.estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
At long last, there will be peace in our time
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
On the plus side, they'll have a shorter commute going forward
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
BB-8 started out with English dialogue in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Probably just constant swearing
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Filling structural supports with oil cans? That's a paddlin'
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Worker at GM Tech Center takes a stab at bring-your-daughter-to-work day
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Behold the six thousand dollar kid
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Want to know when North Korea's next aggressive act will be? Check the British newspapers and a birthday calendar
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"This is Officer 1B-Di, subject located. continuing search for Sarah Connor"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
It has taken so long to cap the Porter Ranch methane leak, that World Series playoffs were underway when it started, and Ben Carson was #2 in the Presidential polls
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
According to many designers, new logo for English Premier League is too dull, too Futura-ish, or too lion-y. Can you do better?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC man didn't enter the hospital with a stabbing pain in his head, but he sure left with one
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Price of crude oil plummets to levels not seen since GW Bush failed to heed Vizzini's advice, which caused oil prices to skyrocket
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Rum, sodomy, and the lash. And maybe help some refugees. If we have time for it
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
'Was trying to txt u. Ran into a cop car. OMG'. LOL
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Director of National Intelligence says that gene editing is as big a threat to humanity as nuclear and chemical weapons
source: gizmodo.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Australian social pages fall for the old Jack Mehoff trick
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What goes in when you're making your pasta sauce? Be it heavy on the garlic, all the meat, or whichever style you like, tell us how it's done
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
I'll admit it, I didn't bother to read the article. The page image was Michelangelo riding a robot tyrannosaurus in the Bat Cave, and that was good enough for me
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man thinks that he is pregnant after having gay sex. Difficulty: Not Florida
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Something Cupid)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Love is in the air edition
source: skarro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Keeping track of all the officials Kim Jong Un has had executed since taking over North Korea. He's still trying to top "execution by anti-aircraft artillery" but give him time
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Venezuela could be facing serious fiscal issues soon, and gasoline prices could double, skyrocketing up to as much as $0.04 per gallon
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Say what you will about constant online harassment, it works
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Apparently, the water in Flint isn't just unsafe to drink, it's unsafe to put in a fire truck
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
David Fry now safely in custody. Can I get a Hallelujah?
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YLE (Finland))
 
 
 
While meth, heroin, flakka, crack, etc, are keeping police busy around the world, in Finland, you can get busted for cheap pizza
source: yle.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Take Part)
 
 
 
"It's time to stop hating on potatoes." Right after we stop adding the superfluous preposition "on" to the word "hating"
source: takepart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Three are out and are in custody; David Fry is balking. Dildopalooza climax
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
KFC is attempting to see if romantic tableside service will be a hit this Valentine's Day. Tell her you love her with liver
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Death of tourist in Thailand hotel room surprisingly does not involve alcohol, drugs, or any ladyboys. We think
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Google surrenders to European privacy police
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
"I'd like to report an attempted rape." "Fine, what evidence do you have?" "His genitals"
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what three-days worth of unsold Krispy Kremes look like dumped in a skip? It's your lucky day
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NASA has been hiding an orbiting UFO from us. Still no explanation for why UFO experts don't own HD cameras
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
Sir, you can't just run around the hospital ranting about cutting off your testicles and then stabbing a gas canister with a knife. It's not properly Scottish
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
Clarksville still not ready for Naked Guy Delivery Service
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Australian starts year-long potato-only diet. Gains international approval from Ireland, Dan Quayle
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Cops would really like it if civilians couldn't buy bullet proof vests, say head shots are a lot harder to make
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Horses can recognize human emotion. There will be no living with bronies now
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Livestream from roadblock at Dildopalooza
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Do you love giant insects, or are you terrified of them? Either way, meet the massive tree lobster, which has bounced back from extinction
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Authorities trying to pin down who's leaving thousands of thumbtacks at a California dog park
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Do not taunt the thumb-sized monkeys of the wealthy in China, for they will surely suck your digits with cuteness
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
And in today's wacky sitcom ideas, what if a gay Syrian refugee was forced to live with a Taliban militant?
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BT.com)
 
 
 
Feet keep washing up on beaches in British Columbia, just like they've been doing for the past 100 years
source: home.bt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Peeing in a cup for a drug test. New and creepy - giving some fingernail clippings to see what substances you've been on for the last several months
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hefty Heister bank robber captured. No word on if he used the bags for the money
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: It is never a good idea to wave a gun behind a news reporter on live television
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Portland marijuana dispensary puts up a mural of an ape in a space suit smoking from a bong. Some people have a problem with this
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this new form of golf
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Researchers announce that for the first time, they have directly observed Gravitational Waves. Apparently that jerk Einstein was right again. But at least most of us didn't marry our cousins
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
San Francisco police hold hours-long standoff with Schrodinger's suspect
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
San Diego to its city workers: On this President's Day, do not mention the Founding Fathers under an 'anti-bias' mandate
source: pacificjustice.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You probably should check with your wife before you quit your day job to become a freelancer who opens up your home to other freelancers looking for free working spaces
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Colorado's economy is smoking: Legal weed sales total almost $1 billion in 2015
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
A plus-size model will be featured in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. And by plus-size, they mean a normal-sized woman
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
Problem: Grandpa cut you off from the $2 billion family business. Solution: File a lawsuit alleging Grandpa is mentally incompetent "...just to put the family back together"
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Turns out that Indian bus driver wasn't astronomically unlucky, but just run-of-the mill unlucky
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
It rubs the vaginal secretions on the baby, or it gets the hose again
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Sommelier service, that French tradition that translates to 'fancy wine-tasting advice', will now be available for free. In Japan. Provided by Amazon
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man claims he was abducted by aliens... right after leaving a pub. That's his story and he's sticking to it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
700-year-old Danish Civil War coins uncovered. South Denmark reportedly considering rising again
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher gets fired after sending nude Snapchat photos and sexually explicit messages to her students" story comes to you from Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
I'm sick of this presidential race already... I wonder what's going on in merry old England. *click* "Woman regrets bum tattoo that reminds her of the time she defecated on herself beside boyfriend's mum"... I wonder what that rascal Trump is up to
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Cliven Bundy arrested in Portland. Civil disobedience is OVER
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ahh *scroll, scroll* AHH *scroll, scroll* AHHHHHH
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
If you are an Aussie, be ready to pay a tax for watching streaming videos
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 562: "Up Close 4" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 10, 2016
(10 News)
 
 
 
Barber gives fade, catches fade
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Gunfight at the Dildo Corral 2 Part II (lgt live stream)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
"Dear sir or madam: Please remit $500 for services rendered, to wit: The ambulance that took your son to the hospital after our police officers shot him. Sincerely, the city of Cleveland"
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Okay so maybe the animated film "The Unequal Opportunity Race" was a little insensitive to white people, that's no reason for you Virginia parents to get all outraged about it after the affirmative action film was shown to your high school students
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
After 71 years, WWII vet decides to hook up with the bird he met during the war
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Willamette Week)
 
 
 
Gunfight at the Dildo Corral 2
source: wweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Sad Pro Tip: You can park in a Walmart parking lot for at least three months before anyone will notice
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Brave Japanese woman gives Yakuza members the finger
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hands up. Don't sue
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Female mafia boss's nickname is "Prickly Pear Lips". I .... I have some questions
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this archer
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oldham Chronicle (UK))
 
 
 
Crack addict call girl steals wallet containing £250 from 71-year old. Fark: Comes back next day to demand £40 owed for sex but caught later after DNA found on a glass
source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Looking for a way to curb police violence, India is now arming police with chili-loaded slingshots
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
In case you feared Ethan Couch might be coddled in adult jail, rest assured; they make him watch Richard Simmons exercise videos while in solitary
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chopsticks: You've been doing it wrong. And that's before you even eat anything with them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
I was told there would be no math revolution
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
A group is pushing IBM supercomputer Watson to run for President. The only problem is that since it was built in 2006 it won't be constitutionally eligible to run until 2044
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Look, it was just a prank," says the father of the man who tossed an alligator through the window of a Wendy's drive-thru in Florida. Yeah, remember back in the 80s and 90s how you pranked people by tossing cobras through drive thrus?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
70-year-old woman arrested with fifty marijuana plants, pills, hash and $2K in cash. And you thought you liked your grandma's cookies because they were made with love
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Glasgow Evening Times)
 
 
 
Advertising regulators green-light posters for Phat Phuc noodle bar
source: eveningtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
ISIS ups their game by producing and unleashing their own special brand of stink
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Alert: Girl Scout cookies differ depending on where you live. Get out your scorecards and order forms
source: graphics.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
Same-sex couple gets marriage license, condemnation in West Virginia county courthouse
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press of Atlantic City)
 
NewsFlash
 
Chris Christie gives up running for President for Lent (update: now it's official)
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Police urge Millennials to make something called a "phone call" to 911 if they see an accident, instead of just posting photos to Facebook
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hoverboard burns down million-dollar house, nearly kills two children...plus it doesn't even hover
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Amazon.com's newest feature actually comes with a zombie apocalypse clause. No. Seriously
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
Weeners
 
Where is your (hot) Dog now?
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
J. K. Rowling admits that writing for grown-ups sucks
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf Live)
 
 
 
Photoshop Coldplay singer Chris Martin in high-flying action
source: image.gulflive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sirhan Sirhan up up for for parole parole again again
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
Pedo Pro Tip: Don't print your kiddie porn at a CVS photo kiosk
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Fourteen people charged in heroin trafficking operation from Detroit to West Virginia. Hollywood producers immediately buy movie rights, try to find a composer who can play 'dueling banjos' at four times the speed while backed up by gunfire
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Graduate of the Homer Simpson school of firearm safety shows up at the hospital
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Reports indicate that another North Korean official has been cartoonishly executed. No word on if he was launched into space on a rocket and is currently tumbling in orbit
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem News 2)
 
 
 
"Police also have the alpaca head, which is being stored in a freezer in the evidence room"
source: salemnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
They say the man who represents himself at a criminal trial has a fool for a client, but what do they say about a man represented by an attorney at a criminal trial who wants to give the closing argument instead of his lawyer?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Please excuse my daughter from being late to school because Bruce Springsteen played an epic three and a half hour set last night. Signed: Epstein's Father
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Twins often do lots of things together like dress alike, participate in the same hobbies, give birth just minutes apart
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The priest, in the rectory, with a candlestick
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
13-year old fatally shot after cousin falls off hoverboard, discharging felon brother's illegal firearm. This one needs a trailer, a drone, an alligator and a pitbull to complete the Florida Bingo card
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Norovirus, shnorovirus. I'll take my free burrito please
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Study shows that, um, when if you're not young, like, smoking pot, you know, making words right is hard
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Watching porn to save the whales is a thing now
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
You can now add willful intent to defraud and IP infringement among the many other charges Pharma Bro is likely to face
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Thumb slammed with a foot". This is not about that time you tried a new sex position
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Wednesday...the day after a primary, so you know subby didn't do any writing last night. How about you? How's your writing going? Get much accomplished this week? THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread "I regret nothing" edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Couple caught with razors in their shoes. No word if they had a 32 gun in their pocket for fun
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Lego Finicum
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Flight attendant accidentally delivers more than just the complimentary bag of peanuts to passenger
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Coping with declining crab catches, a Florida man resorts to unconventional bait
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Kanye West believes Bill Cosby is the most innocent man OF. ALL. TIME.
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Meet the teenager who, at 14, became one of only 12 people in the world to ace the AP Calculus exam. Which you could have totally done, too, if you, like, cared enough about "test scores" and meaningless stuff like that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Target takes another step forward in its quest to eliminate your child's gender. Difficulty: Pillowforts
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Want the secret to mindblowing sex? It'll cost you a fiver and unlike Fark you'll thank me in the morning
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Flint's water crisis should result in some manslaughter charges for the Governor and his cronies
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cannibal admits to eating lover with sprouts. Seriously, who willingly eats sprouts?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Porn star pulls out of Josh Duggar
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The damage wreaked by storm Imogen in the UK continues to mount, as a £190,000 mouse bridge collapses forcing a road closu..... wait. A "what" bridge?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Cretaceous polar bear
source: 41.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
When smuggling 14 grams of heroin and 31 grams of meth in your groin, the trick is to not walk stiffly
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pirate Bay turns their sails around and are heading right for Netflix
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man arrested for exposing himself to women in a mall parking lot, claims he misunderstood the sign for Dick's
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
In unexpected turn of events, Refuge Standoff gets weird. Lavoy Finicum cited as possible Christ figure
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
TV presenter comes face to face with his doppelganger. Fark: In a Crimewatch mugshot
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
After spending 12 years on Texas' Death Row you're finally exonerated. What would you do to celebrate your freedom? Former inmate Anthony Graves went after the prosecutor who put him away, and he won
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Here hold my shopping bag while I fall 60ft off this balcony onto a display bed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Rise and shine Catholic Farkers, it's Ash Wednesday. We hope you satiated your glutinous soul on Fat Tuesday because it's another 40 days before you can enjoy chocolate or beer again
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Parking garage collapses during a planned demolition, so that worked out nicely
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Because of a water-main break, Flint residents are being told to boil the water before they not drink it
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Museum unexpectedly catches a mouse with 155-year-old mouse trap on display
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
When battling an internet troll, the best advice is to ignore them, make them laugh, or reveal their identity
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Doctor performs surgery on wrong infant. On the plus side, the procedure should make him more popular with the ladies when he grows up. If you know what I'm saying, and I think you do
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman hopes to overcome her "crippling fear of cakes" prior to her wedding, is upset that no mental health professionals take her phobia seriously and keep desserting her after one session
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
44,000 pounds of cheese block Australian highway, drivers forced to find another whey around
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 09, 2016
(Newser)
 
 
 
Cures for the hiccups: Get scared, drink water upside down, remove giant tumor from chest
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Justin Trudeau in fake mustache charged with murder
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
"The criminal complaint alleges extensive nudity and cunnilingus on the world's tallest observation wheel, which is billed as 'The Happiest Half Hour in Vegas'"
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Your4State)
 
 
 
"Students then turned their DNA into a necklace"
source: your4state.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Swiss man becomes third fatality at Arizona skydiving facility. In 2016, that is
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
Activists supporting homosexual teens have raised enough money to bid on the foreclosed church belonging to a homophobic pastor
source: villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
James Clapper warns ISIS will begin attacking the US sometime this year. Panic futures up 8% in early trading
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♪ "I'm a shark, I'm a shaaaaark, we broke a record in 2015, I'm a SHAAAAARK" ♫
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
ABC was kind enough to provide a solid blue backdrop for the recent GOP debate. Take it away, Photoshoppers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
County Council report about the Department of Transportation's performance during the Blizzard of 2016 delayed. Because of snow
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Stray bullet finds its forever home
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Your mom tries to vote in New Hampshire primaries
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
All you need to know about Faschingskrapfen, that glorious Austrian day when you can take as many Krapfens as you want
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dilbert)
 
 
 
Scott Adams explains the worldview of Dilholes (Rigger warning)
source: blog.dilbert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
French ski resorts are 'lying about how long their pistes are.' Well, don't we all?
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Slavery is alive and well, deep in the *clap clap clap* heart of Texas
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Notorious drug lord and escape artist "El Chapo" Guzman says he is willing to stand trial in the US-on one condition, that he get to do his time in a medium-security or lower prison
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In fairness, he didn't think the French would notice the smell
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this empty 787
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fat Boy will soon have enough plutonium to make a second Fat Man
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
'Affluenza' mom is off the hook for paying the $3100 taxpayer-footed bill for extradition expenses
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you're going to show your gun to a seven-year-old, don't shoot the floor to prove it's real. If you have to shoot the floor to prove it's real, don't let her call 911. And if those rules are too hard for you, how about "Don't be a dumbass"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"It's not the first time that the hospital has called us to cut off rings, but usually they are from the finger," says hero firefighter
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Honey, why did you withdraw $22 and have an ATM surcharge of $2.50?" "I needed money for the strip club. The really cheap strip club"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Beyonce's new song has people running to Red Lobster for Cheddar Bay Biscuits
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Ryan Reynolds: "I'm the youngest of four boys, so it's not the first time I've fought another man naked in a burning building"
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Man wakes up to a car in his basement
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA India)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in India, pet goat arrested for repeatedly grazing in judge's garden. Press still waiting for goat mugshot to be released
source: dnaindia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger Badger STONEHENGE STONEHENGE
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
If you already have nine DUI convictions, consider a better legal defense than "beer-battered fish made me drunk" when you come around for the tenth
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Rest easy, Iowa City; police have apprehended the goat that escaped from the University of Iowa secret research lab
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oldham Chronicle (UK))
 
 
 
Woman gets free pink dye job as she sleeps from her red scandinavian bedding
source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
Attorney for the Iowa Utility Board assures the members that despite a developer's arguments to the contrary, they actually ARE allowed to take safety and environmental impacts into consideration while reviewing a proposed hazardous waste pipeline
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So did you have your Fastnacht today? What are you giving up for Lent? Can you believe that Easter will be early this year? Here is your Fastnacht Day/Mardi Gras thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Annual just in time for Valentine's day, chocolate is good for you article published. Research continues on bacon
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Record number of Americans dump their passports for tax reasons. Hear that, Bundy family?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Roger, the super-buff kangaroo is back and he's crushing cans, calling you a girly man. With super-buff kangaroo beefcake photos
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Tennessee lawmaker introduces a bill which would force the airline industry to keep pace with the rapid expansion of a typical US ass
source: airport.blog.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
The legal driving age in Wisconsin is When Mommy And Daddy Are Drunk
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
When you're on an Air Force training mission, the most important thing is to come back alive. The second most important thing is to avoid sparking a wildfire while trying to signal another aircraft
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In Germany, even the train collisions run on time
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
FAA: Drone registrations have now surpassed registrations for piloted aircraft
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Starbucks found guilty of discriminating against dyslexic employee, surprising many people who've looked at the name on their cup and assumed all Starbucks employees were dyslexic
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this drilling
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Gourmet chef takes pride in fooling foodies by creating appetizing taster menu out of McDonald's ingredients, letting them praise sublimely experimental cuisine and Instagram it as #atasteofsocal, then dropping irony bomb on them
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
If you crossed Sarah Palin and Dolly Parton and sent the result on tour with Cliven Bundy what would you get? Find out thursday Thursday THURSDAY
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Apparently, some people have a problem with a sexy 10-year-old supermodel
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Bunny the size of a DeVille will hug you and squeeze you and name you George. D'awww
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Vet with purple heart told to prove he was wounded in action before he can receive benefits. Fark: He's 90 and was wounded in the Philippines in 1944
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
NASA employees at the Johnson Space Center have a problem with being told they can't use the name Jesus as part of an announcement for an upcoming Christian prayer and song gathering in an online company newsletter
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
All five of the states with the highest voter turnout voted Democrat in the 2012 election. Four of the five with the lowest voter turnout voted Republican
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
While America was busy shaming Cam Newton, the North Koreans flew a satellite directly over Levi's Stadium
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
When you work the drive-through window in Florida, you must accept the fact that at some point, a customer is going to throw an alligator at you
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Noted meshugener Ted Nugent wishes to kvetch about something
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korea satellite 'tumbling in orbit,' U.S. official says
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Girl has ant colony living in her brain. I, for one, welcome our new insect landlords
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Couple beat million-to-one odds and have black and white twin girls
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Even though Jihadi John is no longer with us, we still have to worry about Jihadi Paul, Jihadi George, and Jihadi Ringo
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Man admits to robbing Amish bakery for money for drugs. The real question is, how did the clerk call the cops?
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 08, 2016
(CBC)
 
 
 
Health department wants you to know that you likely got what you paid for at Discount Tattoo
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tot Mom is back - Nancy Grace seen salivating
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Fark is adding something new. EVERYBODY PANIC!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this routine maintenance
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
And today's 'near miss' involving three passenger planes comes to you courtesy of Melbourne Airport
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
One of the Superb Owl's commercial was a gambling app featuring Pete Rose. What are the odds?
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why it's essentially impossible to study the long-term effects of any food or diet; also why you're fat
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Protip for Vegans: If you cook bacon until it's good and burned, it apparently cooks all the meat out
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hey ISIS, there's an old saying: "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." Learn it. Know it. Live it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Writer who was the frequent target of attacks by "pick-up artist" Roosh V who once labelled her "the ugliest feminist on the Internet" reacts to Roosh pleading for mercy after he was doxxed by Anonymous-and feels sorry for him
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Tokyo judge sentences architect of Costco parking structure to eight months in prison for ramp collapse during 2011 earthquake that killed two, says he obviously went to Kirkland School of Architecture
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Aaww: A woman finds her long-lost father and invites him to share her home. Eeww: So he rapes her
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Charter bus carrying 50 rolls over on I95 in Madison CT. 30 being transported to hospitals, 6 are critical (autoplay video in link)
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Chicken Little finally vindicated
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters Media)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy band
source: s4.reutersmedia.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Obama asks the country to not panic about his latest plan to destroy America
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
The Jaws of Life are actually the Jaws of Whenever, Dude
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Amorphophallus titanum bloom is underwhelming
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If they had a cruise ship that did nothing but sail through hurricanes, that would be an awesome cruise (with video)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man interrupted from watching 'Hail, Caesar' as theater is evacuated over a threat, marking the first case in which a man is saved from a bomb by a bomb
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
1600 Florida students stay home after gun threat over Confederate Flag punching incident. To be fair, it kind of sounds like they've already learned everything that Florida can teach them
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)