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Sun January 03, 2016
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New invention combines rollerskates, scooters and skateboards into one shoe that unfortunately doesn't just scoot you over to the nearest emergency room
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The National)
 
 
 
Daylight pictures of the Dubai Address hotel show the extent of the fire damage. "Closed indefinitely" would sum it up
source: thenational.ae   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Naked escorts chase gunmen through Atlanta hotel. That's all the headline you need, really
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Veteran off his meds and suffering from PTSD enters a crowded church with a gun. The pastor does the Christian thing
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
It Boggles the mind when real Life situations lead to such Calamity. Even though it may seem like a big Risk, somebody should say Sorry to end the Family Feud
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop something for this guy to point at
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Uncut)
 
 
 
CNN "analyst" says the Oregon militia men takeover does not warrant a harsh response because "they're not looting anything"
source: usuncut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
TSA: Hey, remember how we told you that going through those full-body scanners would always be optional and anybody who didn't want to go through them could get a pat-down instead? Well, about that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Mayor's wife arrested for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, false imprisonment, and obstruction of 911 after hitting her sister on the head with an oscillating fan and fraternity paddle
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia has severed diplomatic ties with Iran. This ends well, I'm sure of it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this artistic sea lion
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splash24/7)
 
 
 
The first mate and his skipper too, they did their very best. But that just wasn't good enough, to pass the breathalyzer test
source: splash247.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
British man detained by police, nearly causes riot and faces up to 5 years in jail ... for comparing Kyrgyzstan local delicacy to a horse penis
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
With nothing better to do, Egypt decides to violate their 1979 treaty with Israel and move a large amount of military forces into the Sinai without permission. Because if there's one conflict zone free in the world, it's the Israel-Egypt border
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
It is way more expensive to be a woman than a man. Because of beauty products
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
And this is why old-time trains had "cow-catchers" mounted on them
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Skeleton of notorious pirate unearthed in schoolyaaaarrrrrd
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
No Canuck knows whereabouts of creepy yet somewhat beloved CBC Yukon mascot "Logo Larry," who perhaps disappeared at Calgary Stampede sometime during the Eighties
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why you shouldn't drive slowly in the left lane. Yes, we're talking about you, Mr. Lane Ranger and Ms. I'm Doing The Speed Limit
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Sometimes a .50-calibre sniper rifle is more effective than an airstrike
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tomorrow will be the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
"As awareness has spread of the Western custom of daytime drinking, it probably makes [Japanese people] have less resistance to it"
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
At Gillette, the best a man can get is arrested with a rusty meat cleaver and a samurai sword
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Man's video of thousands of snowballs bobbing in a Maine lake goes viral. The attention started out small but just kept rolling and picking up speed
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these rescuers saving your Mom
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Stage Fright
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dozens of bodies hinder the investigation into a murder-suicide in California
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
One moment you're lying dead drunk in the street on New Year's Eve and the next thing you know you're a Renaissance masterpiece
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
One man's back hair is another man's canvas
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Twins born in different years face two decades of questions by relatives, teachers, kids at school
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
"I'm getting the drugs out of my butt"
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cunning Aer Lingus pilot manages to get over a hump and make it down the landing strip
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's the first Livingston Stapler Company Presents show of 2016. Three hours of music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 02, 2016
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
150 armed militia members have stormed a federal building in Oregon. Developing
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
The Saudi embassy in Tehran has been stormed and set on fire in a protest against the execution of Sheikh Nimr
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Blizzard kills thousands of cows and threatens the Texas dairy industry, presumably with wrath of the Lich King
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ready for the Dry January Challenge? Save money, feel better...and then feel less guilty about going on benders for the rest of 2016
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this arctic athlete
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
California man does something useful with his background in Crossfit
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Protip: If you and your five friends are going to steal a car, DO NOT crash it into a police cruiser
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Idaho man thinks he hears cat burglar coming through his basement window, goes downstairs to find it's a 600-pound elk burglar instead
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Ice rink generating too much unlicensed fun and goodwill. Of course, authorities must put a stop to this at once
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Telling your boss you need to go on military duty but instead taking your girlfriend to Hawaii for vacation will probably get you into a wee bit of trouble
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
A community rallies around a young refugee who lost his business due to arson
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hi-rise family
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Nuns in Merced, CA are upset at city council for threatening to take away their weed
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
♫ Shot in the crotch, and who's to blame? You're a eunuch now, from bad aim ♫
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
The Bal Harbour PD and Glades County Sheriff's Office set up a giant money laundering scheme to bust drug cartels and stem a surge in drug dealing. Instead, they wound up laundering money for the cartel and profiting
source: pubsys.miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star (Bangladesh))
 
 
 
Want to pick all 6 winning lottery numbers for $52 million jackpot, but actually win nothing? There's a faulty app for that
source: thedailystar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
You have not known pure horror until the day a naked man wearing only a Ronald Reagan mask and a sock over his little president steps into your breezeway. "It was so cold outside"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this primate present
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Men's rights" divorce attorney charged with beating his wife
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Apparently, on Caturday, two wrongs can make a right
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"The 54-year-old father was a heavy drinker with a large gun collection," and I bet you've already guessed what happened New Year's Eve
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Firemen use lubricant, drills, a reciprocating saw, "and something we call a 'Whiz Wheel'" to extricate a kitten's head from a Dumpster's drain hole. Shoulda brought the Dust Buster too
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man inconsolable after dropping his New Year's beer in the street just moments after the store closed, was last heard wailing "That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
When Gary Larson and Bill Watterson killed their unique comic strips in 1995, they killed the comic-strip business
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma homeowner finally takes a stand against the scourge of "ring and run"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 01, 2016
(Mississippi News Now)
 
 
 
City Councilman has unique idea to fight crime in Mississippi's capital city
source: msnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
George Costanza themed bar opens in Australia. Will hold 100 people on a cold night, allowing for shrinkage
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this All American Superhero
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
McDonald's takes all day breakfast menu on the road, with sizzling results
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Anybody Butt Rump
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
News: Man calls 911 claiming he shot and killed an intruder. Fark: In an attempt to hide the fact that he shot and killed a man he was trying to wake up with a gun
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Darwin award contenders
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Protip: Leave your meth at home when appearing at the Courthouse
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wintry scene
source: funkyimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Advocates are wanting the US Postal Service to also be your bank. What could possibly go wrong?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's a New Year, a fresh start, and a good time to get to work on those resolutions. Resolution #437: Do better on the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daily Mail superfood reporter declares juicing, coconut oil and kale OUT, souping, avocado oil, teff grains, birch water, black beans, and seaweed ("superfood of the deep") IN for 2016
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
New York man crushed to death by falling elevator on New Year's Eve. Otis the season
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pub crawl team has travelled nearly 300,000 miles and one member has consumed 43,000 pints, all because beer is their friend
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Tennessee just peed all over the Constitution
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chicago sales tax is now the highest in the nation. Something else for Chicagoans to be ashamed of, along with murder and pizza soup
source: illinoispolicy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News Archive)
 
 
 
Affluenza teen may get to stay in Mexico because being arrested may have violated his human rights
source: apnewsarchive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Let's examine the mummified remains of cavemen from thousands of years ago to see just how healthy the Paleo Diet really is for you, shall we?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves, hoverboard lawsuits are coming
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Texas celebrates its return to the Wild West
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Sorry mermaids, you are no longer welcome at the YMCA
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Queensland Government)
 
 
 
The good people of Townsville can rest easy. The police have recovered your Lego banana
source: mypolice.qld.gov.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Mutants invade beach town
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Hawaii is now the first state to officially raise the legal smoking age to 21. Still no restrictions on purchasing Spam
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Arlington County, VA taxicab service starts the New Year by giving its customers one more reason to switch to Uber
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
He died with his loved one in his arms
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tel Aviv pub starts the New Year off with a bang
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
American patriots successfully defy ISIS to celebrate the arrival of 2016. "I talked to my dad before I left and said `I love you and hopefully ISIS doesn't come. My dad said, `Keep your eyes out.'"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Money can't buy brains, as two Porsche owners in the same town leave the doors unlocked with the keys in the ignition, with predicable results
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Phoenix firefighters rescue boy stuck in chimney, wonder why anyone in Phoenix needs a chimney in the first place
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy and his balloon
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
How will you celebrate New Year's Day? Are you hungover? Is pork and sauerkraut on the menu at your family party? It is your 2016 New Year's Day thread, or as some FARKers refer to it, National Hangover Day
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
FAA to drone operators playing with their toys within 30 miles of Reagan National Airport: GTFO
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cat takes selfie with dogs. Mass hysteria to follow
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-Un says he would like to "peacefully" reunify with South Korea. Or if that fails, throw a tantrum and threaten to blow them up. Either way
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Four-year-old delivers pizza and coffee to police during long standoff. What, no doughnuts?
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Woman gets vulgar message on her Domino's Pizza receipt, twice. Reportedly, the vulgar message was "Please eat at Domino's again"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Push button, receive bacon. No, really
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia declares that small countries banding together to keep from being invaded by Putin is a threat to Russian national security
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A seaside town has launched a dog poo tracking website, to get shiatty pet owners to clean up their act
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Army wants you to have a constipated 2016
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 31, 2015
(ABC)
 
 
 
Ryan Seacrest, Jenny McCarthy, and Fergie are being inflicted on us, and Dick Clark is powering the proceedings with the energy generated by spinning in his grave as we ring in 2016 with Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve, beginning at 8 PM on ABC
source: abc.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What are you all doing for New Year's Eve? Have you created your resolutions? What channel will you have on to watch the big ball drop? It's your New Year's Eve thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Bears depleting
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A list of all the legends we lost in 2015. Thankfully, not a slideshow
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Lake Superior State University's 41st annual list of words nominated for banishment by members of the public is so fleek
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Brazilian Mattress company creates bed sets with a special padded compartment in the box spring just for your cat or dog to refuse to sleep in and take up your whole damn bed instead
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this feeding session
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
To be fair, the gold mask is one of the better decisions this guy can make at this point
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New York company to offer kosher medical marijuana for those who want to toke up on Friday night
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
Alcohol can do many wonderful things. But rubbing it on your head won't stop a fever, gargling with it won't get rid of a sore throat, and it can't cure you of hepatitis
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
....was overheard in the Acton Fire Department last night... "What starts with an F and ends K?" FIRETRUCK..... F#CK THE FIRETRUCK IS ON FIRE
source: acton.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Imminent terror threat warning issued in Munich, Germany
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
More terrorists sprout in Brussels
source: ca.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Police release photos of men wanted for installing ATM skimmers, fashion crimes
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this swingin' thing
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here's why you won't keep your promise to learn a second language while working out for two hours a day and eating nothing but organic salads in 2016
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
If you want to meet me in St. Louis, you are going to need to bring a canoe
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
2015 mullet season catch is down drastically. Next time, use a Hemi for bait
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A pilot made the decision to return to the gate to pick up a family trying to get to a funeral after the tower had refused the return. The Tower of Sauron apparently
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Someone is assaulting teens and stealing their hoverboards. Police check list of known pyros
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
PSA: If you invite your daughter to visit for the holidays, try to remember that you did so before shooting blindly at the "intruder" you hear entering your house at night
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
NewsFlash
 
Address Hotel in Dubai on fire. Firefighters searching for location
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the 230 new laws taking effect in Illinois this year. Who wants to go bobcat hunting?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Consumer tip: If your cable company offers you an enticing deal for only $400, you might want to think twice. Especially if they want payment with a prepaid debit card brought to a local Hess gas station
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Bundy's sovereign citizen goons are heading to Oregon for a new showdown with the federal government, to the delight of U.S. popcorn growers
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Anti-violence rally in Newark ends as one would expect
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Forensic engineer finds "horrific construction" contributed to destruction in the recent Texas tornadoes. At one elementary school "There was no connection [between] walls, no connection at the roof, and was simply nailed to the concrete foundation"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As they steadily lose territory, leaders, influence, and funding sources, ISIS has apparently begun prepping for a "final battle" with the West. You know looking at the key match-ups on offense and defense, I gotta say I like the West's chances
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney adds mounted police, adopts strict gun policies. Because if there's one place you need to be packing heat, it's in the "It's a Small World" attraction
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Turns out goldfish react badly to processed cheese. Who knew?
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Sports headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Geek headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Entertainment headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Politics headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Business headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Toy F-16 plays the sound of its target audience
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your COUGH HACK AHEM hair (w/ pic)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Hospitals vary on how they determine brain death. Although most still stick with the traditional guidelines of unplugging a patient as soon as their medical insurance runs out
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
The Sierra snowpack in California is 136% higher than normal for this time of year. But don't tell anyone as good news doesn't sell
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Anne Frank's diary and Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf both enter the public domain on Friday
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
OMG they've arrested Carrot Top
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man trying to climb NYC's Four Seasons hotel makes it past summer, winter and spring
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mannequin menagerie
source: img.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The danger of letting your small children play with your iPad? They can charge $8,000 on "freemium" games
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Man accused of purposely running over flock of seagulls, says he expected them to run so far away
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man arrested for posting a video of himself drinking and driving on Facebook. And even worse, he shot the video vertically
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Owner of dog burned and disfigured saving his family from a house fire shamed for sharing photo of his hero dog
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Cure: ACME anvil
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
World's largest McDonald's will close on 12/31 so it can be demolished and a new world's largest McDonald's will be erected to take its place
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
The nine most disgusting restaurant offerings of 2015
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 556: "Potent Potables 3" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 30, 2015
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
In the ever continuing evolution of the word "offensive," selling T-Shirts with the word "artist" crossed out now makes the list
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"On behalf of Overlook Hotel Cruise Line, we'd like to apologize about the incident in the elevator this morning, and we're offering free Redrum cocktails all day to compensate anyone who may have been affected (Warning: Graphic Content)
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Sad: Rapist attacks woman. Sick: Forces her to call her boyfriend so he can listen. Hero: Instead, she dials 911 and the dispatcher plays along while sending the cops
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Russian man wakes up in morgue after too much drinking, goes back to party
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this primate parcel
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chicago police to get new toy with which to harass minorities for noncompliance
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New book describes female WWII hero's secret whereabouts as she spied on, evaded and then was eventually captured by Axis power. Fark: Amelia Earhart. Bet you didn't see that coming
source: epictimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Twitter has banned "hateful conduct" on the site, no word if Trump will appeal the ban
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Puerto Rico is now on the brink of a massive default. Which means things haven't changed much there since about 1953
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
IRS employee whose job was assisting victims of identity theft charged In $1 million identity theft tax fraud
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 News Dallas)
 
 
 
Family of "Affluenza" teen Ethan Couch find that it is even easier to bribe judges in Mexico
source: fox4news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
911, what's your emerg...eh, actually - can you hold on a sec? I'm trying to level up
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Statement from principal of school where basketball players forcibly sodomized a freshman teammate: "A violation of team policy did occur"
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Caption these VR gamers
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Amherst Spanish department accused of hiring TAs for their T&A
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How to escape the 24-hour workday. Well, here's your problem; actually letting it get to that point
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Make an image out of your own Fark handle
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Good idea: swinging by your wife's office to pick her up for lunch. Bad idea: In a plane
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Finland has a solution for reducing car-reindeer collisions. You would even say it glows
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cooking with Martha Stewart just got more riveting
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern CA Public Radio)
 
 
 
Los Angeles freeways turn 75 today. Los Angeles freeway traffic jams turn 74.999
source: scpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
It's not a good week to be a Harlem Globetrotter, "General" Lee Holman dead at 61
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Times Square Olive Garden flip-flops, now says $400 New Year's Eve special WILL include unlimited breadsticks. CRISIS AVERTED
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hard-hitting journalistic piece on the resurgence of "Victorian-era" diseases that will kill you. It snot news, it's CNN.com
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Extremist arrested in Texas Mosque arson
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Two Chase bank employees caught stealing $400k from accounts of dead and elderly. Upon hearing the news, management took swift action and promoted them on the spot
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In a legal battle that was in no way secretly funded by Redskins owner Daniel Synder, the Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit rules in favor of the rock band "The Slants" and finds that a ban on offensive trademarks violates the 1st Amendment
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I ordered the most that I thought I could eat, thinking it would discourage him. The funny thing was, I had a good time. Of course, that was back when I was a crazy teenager"
source: atmoreadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Poll finds Christians support religious freedom as it pertains to Christianity. Islam? Not so much
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Detroit Zoo welcomes 20 new ugly assed gentoo penguins to their new $29.5 million Penguinarium
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
$90 million worth of preparation for reliable winter transit service was put to the test when Boston got an inch of snow yesterday. It would have been cheaper to fly everybody to Florida
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Catholic priest suspended for....*spins wheel*.... riding a hoverboard during Christmas Eve mass
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metal Injection)
 
 
 
Man arrested for assaulting bartender for turning off Black Sabbath looks exactly like you think he does
source: metalinjection.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
"It was the best $13 I ever spent"
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
.343 is an excellent batting average. Unfortunately it's a staggering blood alcohol reading
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Tourists complain to media, resort to cannibalism after being delayed on plane for 8 hours
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
As we close out 2015, what have you accomplished in your writing this year? What have you failed to complete? What are your goals for 2016's writing? Don't forget to give us updates on your progress too. THIS is your Fark Writer's Thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
When you've been charged with selling stolen gift cards and you need to pay your attorney, your solution seems obvious
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Residents near the Mississippi River in Missouri are urged to move to higher ground NOW as water levels are expected to rise above those in the 1993 record flood
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Minister: Is there anyone who objects to this wedding? Woman in audience: Yeah, the groom is still married to me, we're living together and have kids
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
If you go to Australia, do not let the cows suck you off
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
This is our adult coloring book thread. Color it green so we can lose our jobs
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Dude from Calgary writes epic NYT comment, gets Most Opinionated Canadian Award of the Year and STFU sampler box from Fox News
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meat auction
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Ashley Madison claims to have gained 4.6 million "anonymous members" since its August data breach. Guess sexbots have no fear of doxxing
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Three killed in Killington crash. If only they had gone to Livingston
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Iran just gave Harry S. Truman hell
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Mike Tyson KOed by hoverboard, is angry it doesn't have an ear he can bite off in retaliation
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bakery owners who denied wedding cake to lesbians finally pay $137,000 fine - out of the $500,000 raised for them via crowdfunding. Discrimination pays better than baking
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The cure for cancer is in your own hands
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Nearly half of American workers say their employers conduct drug testing, despite the fact that there is no conclusive evidence that testing improves productivity or safety
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 11 Online)
 
 
 
Ethan Couch busted after ordering Domino's carry-out by cell phone. Next time Mom, skip the hair dye and buy lots of burner phones
source: fox11online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Orgy of Terror leads to terror orgy
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colchester Gazette)
 
 
 
This is your father's shovel. Not as clumsy or as random as a leaf blower, an elegant weapon for a more civilized age
source: gazette-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Armed man refuses to let technician leave until computer gets fixed. Sounds like a real Internet Tough Guy
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in England, a woman cleans a window
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Kim Yang-gon, close advisor to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, died in Pyongyang traffic accident after very heavy antiaircraft fire
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Province)
 
 
 
Oh, you wanted the prison cells that locked? That'll cost you extra
source: theprovince.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man charged with attempted murder for beating his brother with a baseball bat after an argument over a pair of sweatpants got out of hand
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Top 25 urban legends of 2015. How many of these did you swallow whole and share with your friends and co-workers?
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 29, 2015
(Time)
 
 
 
You can spend $400 to party at the Times Square Olive Garden on New Year's Eve. Just don't expect unlimited breadsticks
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The rate of absolutely zero deaths from marijuana overdoses remained steady from last year, according to figures released this month by the Centers for Disease Control
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Mr. Affluenza held a going-away party before skipping town
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
The question that has confounded scholars throughout the ages: If a dog wore trousers, how would it wear them?
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NYPD hunts the city's most patriotic public masturbator. Ew S A. Ew S A. Ew S A
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lunching livestock
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Been trying to find just the right 2016 calendar for your office? Why not choose the Vladimir Putin Man's Man Calendar?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Vandal caught on tape trying to deface a mosque by smearing bacon all over it, likely gave himself a lovely case of Freedom Trichinosis as he used his mouth to hold the raw bacon while applying it to the building's walls and door handles
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Idiot teens face 10 years in prison, hell, for stealing from Auschwitz
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Today's Victorian-Era Headline: "An Extraordinary Case of Rectal Breathing and of Musical Anus"
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Among the 25 motion pictures picked this year for preservation by the National Film Registry: 'Ghostbusters', 'Shawshank Redemption', 'Top Gun', 'Being There,' 'Seconds,' 'Winchester '73' and a film of a guy sneezing in 1894
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Anyone know who cut this cow in half? Anyone? Bueller?
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snazzy owl on the prowl
source: drscdn.500px.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Daily Press (UK))
 
 
 
Pole attack called "racist" crime. Man, somebody doesn't like Poland
source: westerndailypress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
I HAD a vasectomy. I'm not lion
source: trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
30,000 bees stolen in drone strike
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russell Crowe upset that he wasn't allowed to set fire to an airplane
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Man arrested for indecent exposure can't appear in court because he has no pants
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
WA judge rules that videos shot by police of "bikini baristas" "exposing their breasts and the orifices associated with their nether parts and performing sexual acts on themselves, each other, and customers" are subject to open records law, Rule 34
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda Report)
 
 
 
Russia will not fly to the Moon this century. Russia will fly to the Moon next decade, will build a manned lunar base and will start industrial production of helium-3
source: pravdareport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Meet Carneeka Sanders, The Human Humidor
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And now for the Top 10 penis stories of 2015 (Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upworthy)
 
 
 
Delicious chain restaurants and why you should never eat at them. For instance, you should never get pizza at Papa John's because the founder is Batman. Wait, what?
source: upworthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Red fox spotted on a golf course stealing from unattended carts, faking heart attacks when hitting into a hazard. (With video)
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, if you're gonna get robbed by SOMEBODY, it might as well be by a high-priced stripper gang. "You're going to be left with a zero balance on your credit cards. Zero credit line. Just for being annoying" (Not safe for work content in sidebar)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Putin's deputy prime minister "accidentally shot", which is considered a demotion at the Kremlin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If you use AirBnB, you might not want to sleep naked at the place you're staying
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Nu-Clear Dry Cleaners in Long Beach declared contaminated site by DEC"
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
NJ cop fired after being caught having sex several times, with different women, in his patrol car, while on duty, is appealing to the NJ Civil Service Commission to ask for reinstatement with back pay. He is expected to employ the "Costanza Defense"
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Top 10 ways passengers of budget airline tried to avoid baggage fees in 2015, includes "A passenger refused to comply by repeating 'me no speak any English'" and "Two pairs of jeans were doubled up and worn as a 'double denim' scarf"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man gives panhandler a few dollars, upgrades him to knifehandler
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What does it feel like to taste bacon for the very first time?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Walmart shoplifter who made his way back to the manager's office and was caught wearing stolen clothing tells police he was just trying to apply for a job as a mystery shopper, but couldn't explain his concealed gun or the heroin on his person
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
1000 Chinese girls in bikinis are...hey, get back here I wasn't finished with the headline
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Police officer drives his patrol car into a ditch after being distracted by a big hooter
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Say what you will about Donald Trump supporters, but you have to admit they're smart enough to reprogram a traffic sign
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The day of the month you were born determines your personality for all time. No, not your upbringing or genetics. The number 1-31 is the most important. Also, would you like to know your horoscope?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russian man filmed hanging out of 15th floor window by his trousers. Menacing-looking penguin with rubber glove on its head seen looking on, rubbing flippers together
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man arrested for having sex with a goat. With "and I'd do it again" mugshot
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this piece of history
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Any NYC bus driver can take a wrong turn and end up in Florida to bathe by the moonlight, this was one of those times
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Architect designs actual underwater cities with giant tentacles, Cthulhu can be seen nodding his approval in the distance
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You know your friends are worthless if they leave you passed out in the driver's seat of your car with your foot on the pedal so the wheels spin until the tires melt down to the rims
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
When it comes to eating leftovers, there are only two camps: Those who revel in their wonderful bounty, and those who view eating it as an unpleasant, moralistic chore
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Houston-area mall evacuated after: A) man with a gun. B) bomb scare. C) hoverboard fire
source: foxsanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Why did the elephant seal try to cross the road? It heard there were seals blown on the other side
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
People have been snorting coke off the toilets in Britain's St. Paul's cathedral
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Giant squid filmed off the coast of Japan, it was delicious
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Biblical scholar suggests that due to an unfortunate mistranslation in the Bible, God did not create Eve from Adam's rib but rather from his penis. Dick move, God
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 28, 2015
(CNN)
 
 
 
Affluenza outbreak quarantined
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
ISIS: "Come join our jihad." Every other Muslim: "Sorry man, got Star Wars tickets"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The schlong and schlort of it
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Pokemon. Serious Business. Also, not an instruction when with dealing with nephew
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Son strikes father with hatchet, father pulls gun and shoots different son. ♫ The circle of life... ♪
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this darter
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
What do you do with the body after you shoot and kill someone for not believing in God? Why not lay it on your couch as a shrine to your God
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man am I glad I put my used looseleaf tea down the garbage disposal
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Saudis raise price of gas internally by 50% to 24 cents per litre for premium fuel
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Once is a tragedy. Twice is a coincidence. Three times, you walk home
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Woman points rifle at boyfriend over Facebook post. "It's cool, though" she told the police, "we point rifles at each other all the time"
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dick Move of the Month: Having the Christian superpower to divert a tornado away from your home and towards the homes of hundreds of your neighbors
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Don't know what to do with your Christmas tree once the season is over? Turn it into sparkling goat poop
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
Sepp Blatter says he ought to be put in prison for 30 years. Everyone in the world surprisingly okay with that
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Yes we have no bananas, because the case we received was loaded with 12 kilos of meth instead
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
If the police ask you for identification, take your license OUT of your pot-filled wallet
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Going on vacation? Better hope you're not flying with an ID from 9 of the 50 US states
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Why, no, the police officers who executed Tamir Rice won't be charged. Why do you ask?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
We secretly replaced the customer's iced tea with teriyaki sauce. Let's see if she notices
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lazy guy in Liverpool
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man dies in condom blowing accident
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Wa$hington D.C. Council consider$ further increa$ing $afety in the city by rai$ing the cost of traffic ticket$ to a$ much as $1,000
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
French family claims they found a dead rat in a sandwich at the elegant Plaza Hotel in NYC. Obviously they're in this lie just for the money, everyone knows there are no rats in NYC
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man who lives in Britain's most-haunted house says it's all superstition, as he goes to bed each night clutching a crucifix so the angry ghosts don't start biting him at night
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Caption these cheeseheads
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Most British injury possible: Girl gets head trapped in bin lid at kebab shop
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese zookeeper confirms that all animals taste basically like chicken
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Drunken idiot being washed away in English flood is grabbed by barmaid and pulled to safety in pub where he had already been cut off: "The man reportedly asked for another drink" (pics)
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Now that less than 50 of them are still alive, Japan finally agrees to formally apologize to the Korean "comfort women" their occupying army kept as sex slaves during WWII, and pay them compensation
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(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: A tanker truck full of gasoline runs into a tanker truck full of sulfuric acid *explosion*
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
For a mere pittance of $10 million you can own this mansion in the Bronx built for Jesus
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Home invader makes three mistakes - 1) Picked the wrong house 2) Didn't load the weapon 3) Grandpa owns a cane
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Workers suffering from Claustrophobia, Kim Dotcom closer to US Dotgov, and nothing of interest in Bland death: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/20 - 12/26 (and Headline of the Year contest update)
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(NPR)
 
 
 
The best new words and phrases coined in 2015. Schlonged found its way onto this list, of course
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Engineers can't stop Los Angeles' enormous methane leak. Biggest concentration mysteriously found in the vicinity of Hollywood
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aero-News Newwork)
 
 
 
Aviation Quiz: Aircraft have experienced 198 collisions with a) drones or b) turtles
source: aero-news.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Hey, that's a nice $11 million insurance settlement you've got there. How about I pay you $1.4 million for it?" "Sounds like a deal, man. Let's do this"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Goddamn batwoman upset about strip club cover charge
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Many Texans struggling to come to terms with the fact that, if those tornadoes had only waited a week or so to happen, they would have been able to shoot them easily with their openly carried handguns
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Most helicopters are unprotected as bird strikes rise. Can't they hire replacement birds?
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this solstice ceremony
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
How badly do we need the dam water?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
US Postal Service: The "Forever" stamp. U.S. Department of Defense: The "Forever" Base in Afghanistan
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Welcome to modern America, where a successful small business owner can't even upgrade his barely livable 15,000 square foot shack to a more or less tolerable 35,000 square feet without neighbors going all Gestapo on him
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
♫It's Log It's Log It's big it's heavy it's wood♫
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Afghan militia fighters battling Islamic State beheading down a dangerous path
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
CNN presents 2015: The year in pictures. Come for the plane crash, stay for the Incredible Hulk taking a leak. Deslided for your pleasure
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
The guy who runs Powerball just resigned to spend more time with his crime family
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The next time you get the urge to carefully and brightly color the words "Cock Womble," well, there's now a coloring book for you (Not Safe For Work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
First they hated us for our freedoms. So we got rid of the lesser-ranked ones. And by the time they came for the first, there was no one left to speak out
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chances are you're gonna be screaming at someone at 2:59 p.m. Let us know how that turns out for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man hypnotised during comedy show suing comedy club after he broke a leg during a performance, also wishes he could stop making annoying chicken noises
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana man arrested, held on $100,000 bond for horse-whispering while drunk
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Uber for snowplows called most Canadian idea ever, eh?
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you were planing on traveling to England for some sex tourism, you might want to read this
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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