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Sun December 06, 2015
(Elkhart Truth)
 
 
 
Teacher has students put "whites only" and "blacks only" signs around school. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
source: elkharttruth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
Update on Evan Leversage. Evan passed away peacefully this weekend. Thanks to all who sent cards and well wishes. He truly loved receiving the cards
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Coloring Contest: Floral Edition
source: p-fst1.pixstatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Who's your Daddy? Who's your Daddy? Who's your Daddy? Who's your Daddy? Say it 50 more times
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You know your attempt at terrorism hasn't worked when you're being heckled by bystanders while being arrested
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
How to ensure your Holiday Party is not a Christmas Party in disguise
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The barrel-aging craze has gotten really out of hand
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Prison inmates take up hydroponic gardening, in hopes of teaching them a skill that could not possibly get them in trouble in the future
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this clowning around
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Forbes parenting advice: The world needs ditch diggers too
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
In a first, collegiate snowflakes are pissing and moaning about something worth pissing and moaning about - being charged for meal plans they don't use, having been triggered by whatever fresh hell was in that third bin of steam-table cafeteria food
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Runner's World)
 
 
 
Your grandmother might be awesome, but she's not "81 and running a beer mile" awesome. Bonus: she finished ahead of her daughter
source: runnersworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Congrats Fark Photoshoppers, you just made the New York Observer
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jimmy Carter gets something off his mind
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, NYC farkers - your local nuke plant just wanted the weekend off. Move along
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
FBI to start tracking animal abuse cases. Your dog is so turning you in for not giving her that leftover turkey
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Police department takes action to find kidney for one of their own. Asset forfeiture laws now include a free tub of ice to wake up in
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oxford Journals)
 
 
 
Tequila extends life span, although you may not remember much of it
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
How batshiat insane do you have to be to believe electronic waves from a smartphone can stab you? Enough to be found "not guilty" by reason of insanity for attacking the guy with the phone
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man going green
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The Christmas Party
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Here's another thing that hipsters are supposedly doing that you can get all hatey about
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
This year's White House gingerbread house was made out of 150 pounds of dark chocolate and more than 250 pounds of gingerbread. Thanks Obama
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aeon.co)
 
 
 
You work 16 hours, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. St. Peter, they ain't quittin' cos they got no role; the economy's what's lacking a soul
source: aeon.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Responsible gun owner not only stops burglars from burglarizing his home and keeps them at bay until deputies arrive but also makes one of them call 911 themselves when his cellphone wasn't working
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
You're a teacher and tell students to walk out of school? That's a corruption of minor charges for you
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
"Scouts give you a vast array of first responding training, how to respond and how to assess the scene and how to take care of people who need care. I would give a large amount of credit to them"
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
How do you keep Portland weird? You install 'pedestrian scramble' signals at intersections which gives priority to pedestrian traffic and allows pedestrians to cross in all directions at once, including diagonally
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is always check to make sure the gun you've just bought isn't loaded before you start messing around with it
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Just because your religion uses human bones for medicinal purposes doesn't make digging up bodies from a cemetery right or legal... The More You Know 🌟
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Man unfairly discriminated against by being excluded from lingerie show, prosecutor claims, saying that even Lumberjacks need to buy underwear, and he's okay
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Waldo residents scared after police raid a neighbor's home and find a plethora of stolen property when police still can't find the neighborhood's namesake
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Santa ejected from Winterfest for not passing criminal background check, not being 'official' Santa organizers had hired
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Texting at the Drive-thru? That's a ticketin'
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
"While the fire itself didn't stand out as anything unique, the cause did. It began when a magnifying glass - which happened to be sitting in just the right place between a window and the chair - caused the sun's rays to ignite the chair"
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Another story about a sex offender. Sometimes the name says it all
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez gets moved from his posh general population room in Souza Baranowski Correctional Center to a more appropriate segregation cell after guards found a shank in his cell
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
There is nothing wrong with giving your children sugar or non-organic food
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Finland plans to give every citizen a basic income of 800 euros a month in a push to Finish off unemployment
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You need to use a plethora of words when speaking to your child so they can be smart little humans
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Three hours+ of music hosted live by a farker in chilly Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKST/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 05, 2015
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Kirkland AFB, three schools, and a hospital locked down over: a) active shooter, b) hazmat spill, or c) someone popping bubble wrap
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Maybe 'expert' is a stretch
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this victorious monument
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman viciously stabbed at art show was applauded by patrons who believed they were seeing performance art
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Obama has been so soft on ISIS that not only are we dropping more bombs and missiles than our factories can produce we're also in danger of running out. Good job, Appeaser in Chief
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gun enthusiast and all-around dickhead takes on the New York Times by shooting holes in it
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Having conceded the inhumanity of blaring bagpipe music at the sleeping homeless, Bournemouth council discover another vile assault weapon - the sound of the Chipmunks
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
News: Colombia says they found a sunken Spanish galleon from 1708. Holy farksticks let me get my snorkel: It's estimated to hold up to $1 billion in treasah
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Conservative trolls flock to Amazon to write scathing reviews about the book shown on camera during the MSNBC tour of the San Bernardino shooters' apartment
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Seriously, who steals a log cabin?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Latest move in Sinai results in family being evicted after 146 years
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
New York Times advises on how to spend 36 hours in Oakland. Front and center in its photo? A cemetery
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this decontamination portal for athletes
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Active shooter and hostage situation caused by too much beer and cheese
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
12 ways to know you're a true Calgarian. Knowing what your cousin looks like naked strangely absent
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
It appears that the Chinese government needs to take some lessons from the U.S. about eminent domain when it comes to building their roads. In the U.S., we just take the minion's land and plow through them
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
First it ruined Star Wars, and now it's going to kill us all
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
If you're driving on Binney Street in Cambridge, Massachusetts, remember to bring the instructions for the new traffic signal. You did get a copy, right?
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gordon farking Ramsay farking top farking contender for farking position of farking police farking chief of farking Wichita farking Kansas
source: unionoracle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
World Health Organization says 420,000 people die each year from foodborne diseases. The main causes are poverty, lack of sanitation, the new breakfast menu at Taco Bell
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
As demand for coal plummets, West Virginia has become the only state in which more than half of the adult population is unemployed
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
If you're not going to install fiber to replace the corroding copper in the ground, we'll get the public utilities bureau to make your life hell. Can you hear me now?
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Seattle police to motorist: Please put down the cocaine you're snorting and give me your license and registration
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Who throws a shoe.....at a monkey....? Honestly
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Somebody thought it was Backwards Day at the local PetSmart
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this corn on the cob
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
OPEC is dying, which means you might actually be able to afford a vacation next summer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Surprising things you never knew about your cat like how our pet felines' personalities are linked to their color. Here comes the Caturday science
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Colorado theater shooter James Holmes ordered to pay about $955,000 in restitution to the victims of his crime. Does he even have $9.55 in his bank account?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sad: Soldier left brain-damaged and wheelchair-bound by bomb. Sick: Wife leaves him, spends his rehabilitation money on a new house, and takes him to court for more money. Hero tag is for the soldiers' winning attitude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Five-year-old boy asks the cost of sending a letter to Mars ... and NASA gives him the answer
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Variety Jones, aka Cimon or the Plural of Mongoose, arrested in Thailand. I wonder what his Fark handle was
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Stolen circumcision ambulance found after tip-off
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Christmas lights on a flagpole in a small town that could interfere with the raising and lowering of the United States flag? Call out the OUTRAGE brigade
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Old but still relevant: Don't trust strangers with candy. New scariness: Don't trust strangers with recyclables
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
SC lawmaker sends out Christmas card featuring a Confederate flag that says "Memories of a happier time"
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 04, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for the Fark Quiz again. Just when your self-esteem finally returned from last week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
You know Christmas is right around the corner when Dave Barry releases his annual gift guide
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man named Bud Weisser charged with fermenting trouble at Budweiser brewery
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The struggling U.S. Postal Service improves customer relations by deciding it cannot deliver newspapers containing cannabis ads. Meanwhile, young people ask: What are newspapers? What is the Postal Service?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Old woman tries to to poison people with sweets while wolf has been spotted prowling through forests near German capital. Grimm brothers unavailable for comment
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drones are useful for more than just spying on your sunbathing neighbor. They are great at sneaking contraband into prisons too
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hanging fireplace
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedState)
 
 
 
San Bernardino terrorists' family has hired a lawyer that claims Sandy Hook massacre never happened and that Syed Farook didn't do the shooting. No word on who he thinks shot JFK
source: redstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Forks Herald)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite restaurant critic tries out the hot new food trend in Grand Forks - Subway. "The sandwiches are made up according to the customer's preference of an array of condiments," but beware the upsale: "Drinks are extra. So are the cookies"
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lansing State Journal)
 
 
 
Parade float for teen killed by cop denied over fears that it might stoke violence, and then they'd have to have a float for a float, and then a float for a float for a float and parades can only go on for so long, you know
source: lansingstatejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
More than thirty people sickened during holiday show rehearsal, as 'A Celebration of Christmas' is upstaged by 'It's a carbon monoxide leak, Charlie Brown'
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
Oil, meet water. Elvis, meet Nixon. Portland, meet Santa "spotted in the mall sitting on a PDX carpet chair sporting jeans, a sweater and a man bun"
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Fermilab experiment results do not support the theory that the universe is just one of Riker's holodeck programs gone awry
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
If you were planning on drinking from your coffee maker's drip tray, don't
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weighty examination
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Heroic cats save elderly Italian woman from fire. Of course, considering they're cats, they probably started the fire in the first place by building some bizarre, Rube Goldberg-esque mouse-burning contraption
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Animal rights groups ask that tourists in Thailand do not get a massage from an elephant on the beach because the elephants are mistreated. Fail to mention the fact that being crushed is also a deterrent
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
TV news "journalists" enter San Bernardino shooter's apartment and tear it apart
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Doc MacGyver uses a hair tie, whiskey, and duct tape to treat a patient who fell ill on flight
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
CT man successfully gets his girlfriend's attention. And his employer's. And the police's
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
Teddy Bear is now riding shotgun with this police officer as his partner to keep him safe thanks to a thoughtful little girl
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
What's worse than finding porn on the public library's computer? Finding bed bugs on the chair in front of it
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man tries to catch bus, succeeds, but exactly how remains a bit of a mystery
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Facebook revives the horror of the home movie
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York Daily News figures long as it's eight figures in the red every year it might as well blame the victim for the San Bernardino rampage killings, because NRA and Jews amirite?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Add "being naked in locker rooms around other adults" to the list of things Millennials can't do and are therefore demanding that everyone else accommodate them as a result
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Russian man marries a pizza pie because love between humans is too complicated. "It is unknown how the man consummated the marriage"
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Rise of the Planet of the Apes was a documentary
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Not news: Animal shelter runs a Black Friday special to get people to adopt pets. News: Droves of people show up. Awesome: Evey single pet was adopted leaving the shelter empty
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
You know your genitalia is special when the last time you took off your shorts, it knocked out power for over a thousand people
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♫ One million bottles of beer are recalled, one million bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of beer are recalled ♪
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australia can't figure out the United States. Americans suffer yet another mass shooting, and react with mourning, prayers, and then do what they always do: buy even more guns
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
Hello, police? Yes, there's a naked man on my roof
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Photoshop Mark Zuckerberg's floating mop
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Whisky doughnuts. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City A.M.)
 
 
 
Destroying the Death Star would have created a financial collapse across the galactic empire. Not to mention the skills shortage of soldiers who can't shoot straight
source: cityam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Because nothing says Christmas like a watch that counts down to your impending death
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Never throw a binder at an assistant manager of a Dressbarn store
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
These are the victims of the San Bernardino shooting
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Your dad's sperm could make you fat. Not that way, you sick bastards
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
University president pens micro-aggression laden missive telling his students that the world does not revolve around them and they need to grow up because "This is a university, not a daycare." TRIGGER WARNING
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
For all you pagans out there mocking those who give gifts to others on the holidays, you should know that if we didn't society would stop running so smoothly
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Department of Justice watches John Oliver, looks into the Fark Barrel, and decides they don't like what they see
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
" Who me? Did I just smoke half a joint? No it was that guy ....over there. No not that one, the other me"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Burger King security cameras didn't record McDonald shooting
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headlines & Global News)
 
 
 
Man almost succeeds at feeding the polar bears after jumping in to their enclosure at the Copenhagen zoo
source: hngn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Built in the late '90s, the infamous "Flying Saucer House" is now for sale in the Bay Area. It's really out of this world
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Art of Manliness)
 
 
 
How to be the hero in an active shooter situation. Brought to you by the art of manliness
source: artofmanliness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grist)
 
 
 
Remember that argument about cow farts polluting the atmosphere? Well, it turns out scientists actually hooked cows up to bags and measure their methane emissions. Spoiler: each cow fills a 55 gallon bag a day
source: grist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Macy's being sued for putting suspected shoplifters in holding cells for hours, forcing them to pay bogus fines and/or sign bogus confessions before turning them over to cops
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Another rusty barn car find brings a very rare 1955 Porsche 356 Speedster to the auction block that sells for $153K on eBay
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Stone Temple Pilot's singer Scott Weiland has died according to Dave Navarro
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman has his twitter account banned for posting nudes and the phone number of an ex after she dumped him for a "Dirty Muslim"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 03, 2015
(UPI)
 
 
 
One phrase you never want to hear: moldy breast implants
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
People without landlines take more ris munb n jkyum,k78oooooonj\
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
There is no honor among thieves. Or pedophiles for that matter
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Affluenza can be treated through beer pong therapy
source: crimeblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Police ask for help identifying Kenny and his Dad in burglary footage
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
I remember the first day I met her - I knew it was love and we were meant to be together - so I followed her home, took off my pants, and defecated in her yard. Bonus: diplomatic immunity and black magic
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
PA: Pee, eh?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The World's Most Punchable Face™ says his mistake in raising his drug price 5,000% was that he didn't raise it higher
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Civilized)
 
 
 
Florida approves medical marijuana with only 0.03% THC, because Floridians are already high enough
source: civilized.life   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"This has completely changed our definition of an ass-load of guns," said Chesterfield County Sheriff Jay Brooks after seizing more than 5,000 guns, most of them stolen, from an NC man's trailer home
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
NY Post wants you to know the San Bernardino shooters were Muslim, and their Muslimy Muslimness is the reason these Muslims went all Muslim. Muslim
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Still full from Thanksgiving edition. Did you try anything new this year? How did it go over with your guests? What should we all try next time we're hosting a feast?
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
"Even if they didn't get cancer, eating shark products won't cure cancer any more than me eating Michael Jordan would make me better at basketball"
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Dow discovers way to turn sewage into refreshing drink. Their next challenge will be doing the same to Bud Light Lime
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Your mama will soon be able to officially wear combat boots
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bigmouth
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Hundreds trapped in Ottawa parking garage for hours, due to them all wanting to leave at once and only one exit being open
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Good news: it's no longer illegal to mock someone for refusing to duel you in Michigan
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Taliban top commanders have meeting that ends like Reservoir Dogs
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Man dumps girlfriend of 15 years and starts seeing their roommate. Raise your hand if you think this story ends well. No, not the hand with the knife
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
MTV dubs the post-Millennial generation "The Founders," who will bring order to the Alpha Quadrant
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
It looks like some doctor in India has taken his BS in medicine a bit too literally
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIBW Topeka)
 
 
 
Finally, the article bovine Mr. Glass has been searching for: "The cow was uninjured"
source: wibw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Helpful tip for those of you interested in hiding your drugs up your rectum. DO NOT get yourself into a motorcycle wreck. Mugshot added for your enjoyment
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The San Bernardino shooting proved that Twitter users cannot spell San Bernardino, as the top hashtag about the shooting was #SanBernadino. The LA Times felt this was front page news
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Stone Age Picasso threw out the rule book and drew his campsite. Critics said his work would make global headlines one day
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Woman accused of threatening her neighbor with a garden hoe while 'baring her backside'
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Couple who duct-taped a four year old's hands and put her in a garbage bag look pretty much exactly as you would expect
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little house on the prairie
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
A map of 2015 mass shootings. Warning: Do not stare directly into the comments
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good news, Oscar Pistorius: your manslaughter verdict has been overturned. Now, here's the kicker
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The other mass shooting yesterday
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man vs. dolphin in epic water-spitting war
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Unless you're the mayor of Internet Thread Comment Town, you should avoid referring to citizens as 'the peanut gallery,' 'trolls,' and 'jerks'
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Hearing that I was going to die from this if I didn't stop. It hit me really hard. It was kind of a blow to the chest. I've got to stop drinking air freshener"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Pouncing carjackers snip circumcision ambulance after violent ambush in east London. In other news: They have circumcision ambulances in London
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Warnings issued after rash of ballsy squirrel attacks
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 552: "It's About Time 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 02, 2015
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
RAF unleashes the FURY onto ISIS positions in Syria
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Seasoned Pediatrician uses *this one weird trick* to calm crying babby
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
American soldier from WW2 honored for saving the lives of Jewish POWs. "When the Germans demanded that all the Jewish POWs in the camp identify themselves, Edmonds ordered all the U.S. soldiers to step forward - hundreds of them"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
This new singles dating site is only for fans of Disney who still hold out hope they'll find their perfect mate and they will never LET IT GOOOOOOOO
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
San Bernardino shooting thread #4
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Massive natural gas leak in Southern California may take months to plug. If only there were some kind of product made exclusively for plugging things known to leak gas
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
MSNBC's Brian Williams off the air for several days after back surgery to fix herniated disc he sustained after lifting a Ford F250 off a trapped toddler. In Fallujah. During the Arab Revolt of 1916
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: If Drew ran the world
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Reading the news too much can take five years off your life
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"See you Monday, and I love you"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
San Bernardino shooting thread #3. Live stream link in article
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The FBI busts a terrorist attempting to buy automatic weapons for a "hit squad" he was assembling to carry out mass shooting attacks in the US. Authorities believe he may have a connection with a group of refugees who arrived in America in 1620
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Alert Swedish dog saves couple from house fire, showing why you should always pay attention when your dog börks
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
San Bernardino shooting thread #2. Live stream link in article
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Daily Mail finds yet another "Human Barbie" who claims she is no longer taken seriously
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news, commuters: That bumper-to-bumper traffic you sit in every day is actually helping to keep you alive by preventing fatal high-speed accidents
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Burglar shot in the leg with his own gun during attempted robbery now faces potential 23rd felony conviction
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Police chief charged with huffing while on the job. Still police chief
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
It seems the Planned Parenthood killer has targeted Planned Parenthood before. Oh Dear
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: If cats ran the world
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Another stolen BB gun on the streets. When will it end?" "Chief, we may have a break in the case"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Planning to visit Washington, D.C. as a tourist? Good, good, we're glad to have you. Before you get here though, give a quick listen to this song about how to ride the Metro escalators, you oblivious fanny pack wearing sonofabiatch
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
NewsFlash
 
Active shooter with multiple victims reported in San Bernardino. Live stream of newscast available on site
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
American Airlines mechanics performing routine maintenance on 757 discover 26 pounds of Bolivian marching powder stashed inside
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg View)
 
 
 
The Supreme Court will consider a controversy involving "naked shorts" that for once won't result in John Roberts sending a sharply-worded memo to Ruth Bader Ginsburg about the Court's dress code and appropriate office attire
source: bloombergview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Gazette)
 
 
 
Small town Ohio mayor on Facebook: Blacks have declared war on whites. Pick your side and pick your battles, we are about three steps away from all bets are off. After public reaction: You misinterpreted what I meant
source: timesgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Man exercises free speech rights on Courthouse steps to inform juries that they can nullify laws. Judge responds with felony charge for obstruction of justice and $150,000 bond
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Texas sheriff: "Hey, guys? Maybe this open carry law isn't exactly the best idea"
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Academic comes up with a 'quantifiable theory of humor', is a big hit at parties
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Police break up rowdy escalator party as tensions elevate
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Half of Germany's Tornadoes are not air worthy, which is odd given that tornadoes are made of air and wind and stuff
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
♪ I know it was stealing, but I baked a cake... ♫
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you're a parent with a child who attends school in Montgomery County, MD, it's slightly possible that he or she might start exhibiting superpowers soon. Or die, one of the two. Let's stick with superpowers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
OK lets get this thing built. One hex key, 28 pieces of particle board, 111 screws, 80 washers and 100 kg of methylamphetamine. Wait what? Shouldn't that be 112 screws? DAMN YOU IKEA
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Maryland lawmakers ready to admit that no sober person wants to watch soccer
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dancing traffic cop and self-proclaimed only reason anyone's ever heard of the state of Rhode Island fired for being a racist. This is not a repeat from last week
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
"He was caught last year at a border crossing with 51 snappers taped to his body." Ouch
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
"I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife"
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police officer drives miniature donkey to safety. Shrek forever grateful
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
International team of nuns ditch their habits to start dressing like prostitutes in an attempt to rescue women. Wait, I've seen this video
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia's Bureau of Meteorology computer system has been hacked by an unknown *cough* China *cough* adversary. In other news, their forecasts will continue to be as vaguely accurate as before
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
"Leonardo DiCaprio has not been raped by a bear. Twice"
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Man who had baby with his teenage daughter says everything was going very well until people found out about it
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
ISIS creates video on how NOT to use a RPG launcher
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: If dogs ran the world
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Occupy Democrats)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered how bad a police dept and county prosecutors office could get, well here's a fine example
source: occupydemocrats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Everyone deserves to fulfill their desire to have sex and produce a family, even people with an obesity problem. Much good luck to this loving couple with a mounting problem
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Man held at Guantánamo for 13 years a case of mistaken identity, say U.S. officials. Whoopsie
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Up to 230,000 U.S. veterans are suffering from hepatitis C, but the Department of Veterans Affairs says it can't afford the antiviral drugs to cure them
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
First commercial passenger flight lands in Antarctica, charges $5000 penguin handling fee
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Within three months of the precrime program, prostitution rates in Los Angeles were unchanged. But the letters sent to everyone who drove past an automated license plate reader have made the divorce lawyers happy. Now, the system can work for you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man tries to electrocute his father after discovering he was the sole beneficiary of the man's will. What a shocker
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Five products in your home that contain alcohol. You know...if you're desperate
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
If you shoot up a car in Springfield, Massachusetts, a gunfire tracking system will force reluctant police to believe your victim wasn't hallucinating the bullet hole
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
So how low is low? How about robbing and beating up a man with cerebral palsy, stealing his cellphone, using the phone to film yourself beating him up, then posting the video on the victim's Facebook page
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Retiring is hard when you're stupid
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 01, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
20-year-old kills sex offender with a skateboard inside a Starbucks. Gnarly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
A woman in Maine \ Was driving insane \ She stole some cider \ Became a collider \ And now shes hurt her brain
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Apparently it's illegal to write "This is a bomb" on a box
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The best way to advance your career? Make friends with successful people
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg to become a true 1%'er
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
If you're 7'4" tall and decide to rob a 7-Eleven, be aware police will have a tiny list of suspects and will capture you shortly
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Staunch Christian mother finds something stuck to the wall in her teenage son's bathroom, decides to ask Twitter what she's looking at. Oh, the hilarity that ensues (Not safe for work)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Remember the Arizona teens who used a slingshot to hit car windows with rocks during the I-10 shooting scare? Now, one of them is in trouble for leading police on a chase ending with the car he stole in a big fireball
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Another foiled attempt to steal the secret formula from the Krusty Krab
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Murphy Brown is finally cancelled
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Height difference between husband and wife correlates to her happiness, bow-leggedness
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this grounded ship
source: c1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Dumb: Drinking a beer in traffic. Dumbass: While next to a marked police cruiser
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You just know you've had too many drugs when you sneak into a woman's bedroom dressed in fishnets and G-string and mistake a terrified woman for a giant panda
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(York Dispatch)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Never steal an ambulance, it usually has a tracking system and people inside of it
source: yorkdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Woman charged with DUI for hit-and-run on motorcyclist, smuggling Elmo on her head (pic)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
California congressional contingent on alert on news that thieves are ravaging California's nut farms
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Hello Police? My truck was just stolen." "Did the thief have any identifying marks?" "Yeah, some." (with pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I think we have found the outer limit of Rule 34
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Bugatti has yet to unveil its new $2.4 million "Chiron" hypercar, or make one available for a test drive, but that hasn't stopped more than a hundred people from putting down a $200,000 deposit to order one
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these happy fishers
source: drscdn.500px.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Sex, lies, and tall pointy hats as the Vatican's leak trial continues
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
The heck with cancer, scientists have been working on solving the scourge of urinal splashback
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A red-tailed hawk can't make it in New York City, now heading for anywhere
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Edge (Ireland))
 
 
 
These great sex tips from Cosmo will have you wondering why you've been doing it wrong all these years
source: dailyedge.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember that time you searched for Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage? Well so does the FBI
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Crime wave strikes Canadian town as several disc golf courses stolen
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Words you need to familiarize yourself with today: stochastic terrorism
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Headline: 'Merry Christmas" signs stir controversy. Actual article: Muslim community leader can't find any reason to be upset
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Who hasn't tried to steal a purse in an ER, stolen a Jimmy John's delivery car to get away, crashed into a building then stripped naked and jumped into a river? Difficulty: not Florida
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Newfoundland's oldest resident dies at 109, leaving behind six kids, 60 grandkids and looks like we've found out what people do to pass the time in Newfoundland (besides drink)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentleman, as the calendar turns to December, it's time for the annual media tradition: "How Much Will The 12 Days of Chistmas Cost This Year?" Someone should write a book about stuff like this
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japan vows to kill over 300 whales. That Cetacean Probe is going to be really pissed, and Kirk is going to travel back in time again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The domestic terrorists who shot at Black Lives Matter protesters were caught because they bragged about it on 4Chan and Reddit
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spirits Business)
 
 
 
Have you ever made a cocktail and thought, "this could do with a dash of bitters made from pasteurized human tears?"
source: thespiritsbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Oh yeah, the roast was perfect--I loved the dessert--great wine--but the cucumbers and carrots WERE AMAZING
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ralphie Guy)
 
 
 
Bidding opens tomorrow for your chance to stay in the Cleveland house from "A Christmas Story". Leg lamp and deranged Easter Bunny suit not included
source: achristmasstoryhouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Just in case you haven't noticed, gas prices have now dropped for 25 consecutive days. Bonus: the trend looks to continue through the end of the year
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
A fan of Public Enemy got to fulfill his dream of meeting the band and then having the opportunity to drive them to their Sheffield concert in his Ford Escort, and he got the most epic photograph of his life in the process
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
As a thrice convicted felon, an Oregon man couldn't legally purchase the AK-47 he used to shoot up a house full of kids. Luckily, he lived in a county where the sheriff refused to enforce state gun laws
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage truck
source: c2.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Who knew escaping from jail was as easy as pulling the fire alarm?
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this world famous historical leader with President Obama
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
What kind of dumbass would pick up his girlfriend from jail in a stolen truck? One who lives in Tempe apparently
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Owner of duct taped dog may be kenneled for Christmas
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Well chopping down the town's community Christmas tree right before it's to be decorated certainly falls within the Xmas spirit
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Convicted terrorist soon to arrive in New York
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Add to the "famous last words" category: "I hadn't heard it crack like this before"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SheKnows)
 
 
 
Letting your four-year-old kid play at a playground in sight of your front door should be cool, right?
source: sheknows.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Mayor of Alaskan town found dead in his home. Which one? Oh, Juneau
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
It's a croc eat croc world
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Tough day at Family Court? Ramming 14 cars in the parking lot should help you let off some steam
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Slowly he churned... step by step... inch by inch
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
$500,000 given to Salvation Army
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
$500,000 stolen from armored van
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Guy decides the best way to keep money out of the hands of ISIS is to shoot his cabbie after not paying for his ride home. In Pittsburgh
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 30, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
U.S. sends worn-out equipment to Ukrainian troops. Which quite frankly is shocking, because what good is your Mom going to do in the Ukraine, anyway?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Taking a future flight? "To reduce the risk of food poisoning, the captain and the co-pilot usually choose different meals." Well, that's comforting
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fwd: FWD: FWD: Fwd: Christmas in Washington has been cancelled
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Former U.S. special forces commander in Iraq says the war was a mistake and created ISIS
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hallmark's new 'Go be fat somewhere else' line of cards turns out not to be a hit with customers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. You can put toenail polish on one, but you're still in Florida
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: We'll help you look busy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
News: Woman facing federal charges for threatening to slit a passenger's throat and forcing a plane to divert to New Orleans, Fark: The woman is Lindsay Lohan's stepmother
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Uses for anvils that we did not know of
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
[Italy has just joined the game] Minor chord
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Missing: one elderly lady, her middle-aged son, and a 25-lb gold bar. If found, please return the gold bar
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Places to not go surfing: (a) alligator pit, (b) shark-infested waters, (c) Sinaloa, Mexico
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
The latest Cyber Monday deal is a South Dakota ghost town, the perfect Christmas gift for that hard-to-shop for friend
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Civilized)
 
 
 
Quebec offers discount busts
source: civilized.life   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
The Paris climate talks will emit 300,000 tons of CO2. That's a lot of hot air
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan Supreme Court rules against fan injured at lawn mower race when she tripped over a railroad tie to avoid a riding lawnmower that had driven through a fence. Judges state she should have been warned by hearing the 'Yakety Sax' soundtrack
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Normal people would say "gross" and get rid of the thing, in a plastic bag if possible
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this back scratcher
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
In a shocking development, the person who shot at the Black Lives Matter protest in Minneapolis is a racist, "sovereign citizen" gun nut
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Rabbit Season. Duck Season. Rabbit Season. Duck Season. Rabbit Season. Stripper Season. Rabbit S-- wait, what?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Man's entire retirement funds destroyed by disgusting vermin. Surprisingly this article isn't about Wall Street hedge fund managers at all
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
How many Arschlöcher are on this squad? Jawohl
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ultimate trolling: Finding out where internet trolls live and then posting the crap they've said on billboards near their houses
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
"This chicken is nasty. It's crunchy and hard. It's not even warm" "That's a house-made parmesan crouton" (Some not safe for work pictures in sidebar)
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not only is Turkey refusing to apologize to Russia for shooting down their jet, they're going to send them a bill for the missile
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
One more time, people. If the "IRS" is calling you at home, just know that it's not the IRS calling you at home
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Three-year-old misses Halloween because she was in hospital with pneumonia. Rest of neighborhood: IT'S DO OVER TIME
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Boondoggle kept afloat by sunk cost fallacy
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Five decades of Charlie Brown specials ranked. Not making the cut: "Check Your Privilege, Charlie Brown", "The Little Red-Haired Girl Plays For The Other Team" and "Your Mom's On The Pole, Charlie Brown"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Is it politically incorrect to be politically incorrect?
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Why did the former mafia enforcer turned Reverend cross the road in Mansfield, Ohio? To get to the other bride
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
So, one pill to live to 120...another to make sure you can still get an erection the last 40 years
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man steals van down on the waterfront, Matt Foley sought for questioning
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Good news Brits, your boobs are growing ...and it's a win win for both men and women as long as it's not men's boobs that are also growing
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
My hand takes possession of your bare thigh, the points of my fingernails pressing deliberately into your flesh. "This is Cyber Monday, you know," I whisper urgently
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Farkers of a certain age will no doubt remember the song "Fifty Nifty United States," and will no doubt want to thank Slate prodigiously for this article getting it stuck in their heads this morning
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Lighting up green women's underwear, the queen of Kings, and Tebow dropped after more difficulty scoring: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/22 - 11/28
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Farmer freaks out after pulling a large sweet potato ass--complete with cellulite--out of the ground
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Ten years hurricane free
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this charging critter
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Before you tell police that a strange man was motioning for you to get into his car, first make sure he wasn't really motioning for you to cross the street
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
U of Chicago cancels Monday classes & activities, warns students to stay indoors, because of anonymous threat of gun violence at a specific time & place. Real terrorists look at each other & say, "Man, we been workin too hard"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In a real estate market as hot as Washington DC's; landlords forcing elderly and poor residents out of their homes so they can "flip" the property and sell it to wealthy millennials isn't news-unless the landlord is the city's Public Housing Authority
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
President of the Central African Republic to Pope Francis "On behalf of the ruling class of this country and everyone who has played any part in this descent into hell, I confess all the evil that has been done here and ask for forgiveness "
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
This Week in Unplanned Parenthood: three spouses left to raise six kids by themselves with the naming of Colorado Springs shooting civilian victims
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
Woman faces 215 years behind bars and a $30,000 fine for possession of cocaine, marijuana, ecstasy, meth, and LSD. She also happens to be the daughter of a DEA supervisory special agent
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Another reason the US Postal Service is hemorrhaging money: unknown mail carrier allows letter addressed to "Grandma and Grandpa" to be delivered without a stamp
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
I'd tell you why I hate airports in this country but my comment got lost somewhere in the Atlanta airport
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Teenager constantly bullied because he has Asperger's decides to record a day in his life with a selfie stick. And it's heartbreaking
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Islamic State ranks thinning due to US air campaign, Kurdish advances scaring recruits away. ISIL draft dodgers reportedly heading to Canada
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Canadian woman who gave a thirsty pig water faces up to ten years in prison
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
As Feds get better at catching income tax refund thieves, crooks switch to stealing Social Security checks from Grandma
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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