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Sun November 08, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese man dying of cancer wants to wed but doesn't want to leave a bereaved widow. What to do? Marry a sex doll, of course
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Famous, and actual, last words: "I'm not a pilot"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New study (not conducted by Bartenders Assoc. of America) says "Moderate beer consumption can be considered as part of a healthy diet since it may protect against heart disease, cancer and osteoporosis." Raise a toast
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Headline: Farts can fight CANCER as well as other killer diseases and conditions, scientists claim
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these nervous goldfish
source: payload119.cargocollective.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Traveling kindness promoter interviews homeless single dad, gives him $1000 and a week in a hotel. YouTube viewer sets up GoFundMe page for dad and HOLY FARK
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hyperallergic)
 
 
 
Get ahead in your history studies with 14,000 images of the French Revolution
source: hyperallergic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
In the same neighborhood where residents complained about Car2Go cars parking on "their" public street, police are looking for four men who spent the evening tipping over such cars
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTNV Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Rule 34: Cyst removal edition
source: ktnv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russian soldiers REALLY need to learn how to turn off the "geotagging" feature on their phones when they take their selfies from war zones they aren't technically supposed to be in
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Senator wants to put the lid on caffeinated peanut butter
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mad hattress
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
*honk *honk* *honk*
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Door-to-door home security system salesman goes to absurd lengths to prove why home security systems are necessary
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
The moon, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter line up this weekend. THIS MEANS SOMETHING
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Recombu)
 
 
 
Thinking of picking up a 2017 290mph, 1,451bhp Hennessey Venom GT? You'd better get in line, since they're only going to make four of them
source: recombu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
As it turns out, leaving disruptive kids in the classroom instead of suspending them does indeed lead to an "unruly environment". Captain Obvious turns down the substitute teacher assignment and heads back home
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Cue the bright lights. Lights. Cue heavenly tones. Tones. And...... "ahhhhhhhhhhhh"
source: austin.blog.statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Study maps out which parts of the home are the most dangerous while drunk or drugged. Surprisingly, more people suffer injuries involving the ceiling than porches and balconies
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
According to a study by Cornell, soda and sweets aren't making Americans fat. In fact, underweight Americans consume more junk food than those who are obese. This. Changes. EVERYTHING
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
On November 16, 2008, Peter Griffin first uttered the phrase "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" Now we know what he was talking about
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Most people would think that being a student of Harvard is great and the crest is a source of pride, but for some it is a source of shame
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Thousands flee country ahead of government-endorsed crackdown on illegal weapons
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Bad: You're running a marathon and collapse 3 miles from the finish line. Awesome: Somebody picks up your number and carries it across the finish line 'completing' the race for you
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Ducking Out
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Man fought until death instead of claiming $766,000 due to him
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSLA Shreveport)
 
 
 
Sinkhole swallows new Meridian, MS IHOP restaurant's parking lot, along with 15 cars. Waffle House "fixers" seen fleeing the scene
source: ksla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Girl hospitalized after being bitten by a "toothy sea creature" that may or may not have been a shark
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Just like your grandma used to say, save a penguin once and he'll visit you every day for life
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Legally blind barber wins compensation for wrongful termination, claims he didn't see what that whole thing was all about
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pictures from inside of Ben Carson's house: Come for the chiseled Bible verse on humility, stay for the portrait of Carson with Jesus
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Won't share your prescription pain medication? That's a beatin'
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
This Thanksgiving there will be lots of topics to talk about at the dinner table. Let's not make the fact that our 35-year-old son is still living at home with us one of them
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
Police in Hillsboro, Oregon are on the lookout for a female suspect with fair skin and dark hair who may have been accompanied by seven dwarfs
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker in rainy Juneau, Alaska. (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
The Navy "confirms" the mystery light seen over the Pacific Ocean that freaked out all the Californians was a "scheduled Trident II (D5) missile test flight." Sure it was
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 07, 2015
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Mysterious bright light seen over LA - Richard Dreyfuss busy carving landscapes in mashed potatoes
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Mayor who put Ten Commandments outside City Hall arrested for shoplifting. If only God, possibly on a tablet, offered some sort of commandment about stealing
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Graphic cigarette warning labels from around the world. Come for Canada's zombie teeth, stay for New Zealand's limp impotence stick
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this decaying process
source: cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nothing comes between me and my Big Mac, not even a flood
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
This just in: Boomers don't like being charged with wrecking the economy
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Jaywalkin' in Austin? That's a beatin'
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldwide Interweb)
 
 
 
Since it is cold out lets take a look at some truly ugly sweaters. Bonus: Not a slideshow. Fark Bonus: A Fark favorite is listed
source: worldwideinterweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sierra Leone is 100% Ebola-free. For now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council: "The hot dog is not, we repeat not, a sandwich. It's also not a non-sandwich. It's something unique and euphoric that is beyond the confines of definition." (Sounds like something a wiener would say)
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
SouthPark mall replaces Christmas tree display with a holiday glacier, SoDoSoPa
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful excitement
source: cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Sure, you've seen the inside of King Tut's tomb before, but have you ever seen it IN COLOR?
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Why do Tampa police write so many tickets? Because they were told to
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Sorry, Jasper. This UK sidewalk is indeed for fancy walkin'. Take your regular walkin' elsewhere
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
High school students in Colorado no longer trading baseball cards; they've moved on to nude photos
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hampton Roads)
 
 
 
VA: "Sorry, but we're going to have to revoke your benefits because according to our system you are deceased"
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The most sarcastic you are, the more creative you are. As if
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Blind student to conduct symphony, says he doesn't see what all the fuss is about
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't drop a suitcase off at the local police station without first filing a report
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
180-square foot shack on sale for $1.99 million. No word on condition of tin roof, rust
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Absolutely that's a beautiful cake of Prince George, a regular thing of beauty ....WTF?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Marijuana tax to pay for college scholarships in one Colorado county, allowing kids to go to college and pay it forward by smoking as much as they want in their dorm. It's the circle of life, man
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Autistic boy saves classmate from choking ... thanks to watching SpongeBob
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Meridian, Idaho named the best U.S. city to live in. Most likely because criminals, terrorists, in-laws have no idea there even is a Meridian, Idaho
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
"Everything about this process is inefficient" says woman who was fined $1000 for posting to Facebook while on a jury, causing a mistrial
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GMX)
 
 
 
Photoshop these corn rows
source: i0.gmx.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Founder of Russia Today found dead in America yesterday
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Your beloved cat goes missing for 18 months. Better: You finally decide to adopt a new kitten. Best: Going to pick up the kitten and finding your missing cat in the next cage. Caturday: Taking them both home
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
More Girl Scout troops hike cookie prices, realizing nothing will get between an addict and their fix
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British jet with 189 passengers on board 'dodged missile' while approaching Sharm El Sheikh
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
There are 'hot' chilies, and then there's the kind that require four houses to be industrially fumigated
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Scientists call investigation of King Tut's tomb to find secret chambers "promising". What will they find? Historical artifacts? Treasures? Grain?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Truck spills cranberries on bridge. Officials say cleanup could take a while and they may have to let them linger
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You may have anger issues if you get out of your car to assault the elderly crossing guard who asked you to turn down your music
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
US Border Patrol: "Body cameras, we don't need no stinkin' body cameras"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 5 healthy foods that have more fat than a doughnut. See, donuts aren't actually that bad for you
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It must be hard to get a scholarship when the school you graduated from was literally part of a traveling carny operation. "We do science, math, bible"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The twenty-five most influential beards of all time. Missing from the list: Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Forget about curing cancer you rubes, we need to measure how much air there is in a chips bag
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 06, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, and you know what that means. Well yes, pizza and a movie on Netflix, but also the Fark Weird News Quiz. This quiz not yet available in IMAX
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Applebee's customer hears Muslim woman speaking Swahili, decides to hit her in the face with a beer mug
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
For first time ever in New Zealand, surgeon reattaches duck's fractured beak. No word on who gets the bill
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Turns out asbestos doesn't prevent fires, but it does complicate the post-fire investigation
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
British cucumbers on brink of extinction. EVERYBODY PANIC PLEASE
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these incipient stargazers
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Obama rejects Keystone, completely ending all debate and political posturing over the issue for all time
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AmeriPublications)
 
 
 
Science fiction author: Hey, let's breed genetically superior bees. Scientists: Ok
source: ameripublications.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
And this is why English exit ramps are called slip roads, is it?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Dumb: Parking the stolen car with GPS tracking at the house where you keep your drugs and drug money. Fark: Offering the police a cut of the money if they don't arrest you
source: wbrc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Want police to try their hardest to find your stolen car? Tell them your two year old was in the back. #Lifehacks
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Garden hoe, beach chairs, escaped inmates. If you answered "What are things found in a storage shed", collect your prize
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Oh crap, it's Halloween and all we have are these black trench coats
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Add "saving newborn twins born 14 weeks premature" to list of things you can use bubble wrap for
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man of unique taste
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
A brief history of Booooze. Innnnnn. Spaaaaaace
source: now.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Meet the adorable cow that thinks it's a dog
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon marijuana grows are causing intermittent electrical blackouts. "We want to nip this in the bud," says the spokesman for Pacific Power
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
You know it's bad when the sea turtles are suing you
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Empty chair refuses to work with Clint Eastwood again
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Don't let all the chest beating fool you when it comes to the U.S. Navy and China's navy on the South China Sea concerning the disputed islands, these guys are just joshing around and are really best buds
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Wife uses toilet seat to assault her husband. When finished she courteously remembers to put down the lid
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
To me they're woolly creatures with a leg at each corner, but apparently police lineups for sheep is a thing now
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Independent)
 
 
 
Good news: If you live in Connecticut, cops will no longer steal stuff out of your car
source: newhavenindependent.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ding-dong - Gatorgram
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Campus Reform)
 
 
 
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee offers 'voice feminization therapy' to help students 'live their gender identities'. Apparently they got the idea from that DirecTV commercial featuring "Really-high-voiced Peyton Manning"
source: campusreform.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Using topless models to sell things is nothing new but using them to sell coffins seems a bit much, especially since the customers are already stiff
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
FYI: Kangaroos do in fact fart ...in fact they fart as much as cows that also contribute to greenhouse gases. Bouncing poofers they are
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Eating toilet paper won't help you beat the breathalyzer test - but if you're already all trashed up and wearing your costume featuring male genitalia - it can't hurt (w/ mug)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: How can I keep my atheist husband from hijacking the grace prayer at our Thanksgiving dinner and prevent him from upsetting my Episcopalian parents, who take God seriously?" Easy; tell him atheism is a religion
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
TSA is not helping to keep Americans any safer, according to new report released by by U.S. Inspector General Ric Romero
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
500 people have bought Rand Paul's new book over the past two weeks, making it the biggest flop of the year. And to make matters worse, 300 copies were bought by people thinking he was Rand McNally
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just a completely new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer with a bunch of scenes you've never seen before
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Acceptance at Stanford University, with a 95% rejection rate, is now officially as difficult as getting a Fark greenlight
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists debate whether to use stem cells to create chimeras. Dude, my Paladin was killed by a chimera, WTF are you guys thinking?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio is concerned that if Mexico legalizes marijuana, American college students will go there to smoke pot instead of drinking beer
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Russian supermodel
source: cdn.topwar.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
So there I was, sitting in a police cruiser in the dog pound parking lot when the officer opened my door as his erect penis stuck out of his pants
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Jeremy Clarkson, Sepp Blatter and David Cameron set on fire
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Six-year-old boy suspended for three days for pretending to shoot a bow and arrow
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
State Superior Court judge charged with trying to bribe an FBI agent with "a couple of cases of beer." Why yes, this. DID happen in the South, why do you ask?
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
County Sheriff makes the arrest, then steps in as an informal restitution bureau to tell the citizen how much it costs to make the whole problem go away
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Chairman of Native American tribe and critic of Washington Redskins name ruffles some feathers after he dresses up for Halloween in blackface as Bob Marley
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pro-choice Irish women tweet the Taoiseach about their menstrual cycles. Which could settle the matter, period
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Review)
 
 
 
Wondering how you contracted affluenza? We'll explain it for you, but first, try the pork liver pâté
source: bostonreview.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's not unusual for Chicago gangs to target victims. But it is unusual when the target is a 9 year old
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
George Barris has taken the off ramp to eternal life. The funeral procession will likely be his best memorial
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Overreaction? Sure, a nurse photographed your ladybits while you were anaethsetised, but that doesn't mean people want to see it
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 05, 2015
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
"Fark, Howard the Duck was a super underrated movie. Why isn't Leeann rhymes a female rapper's name yet?"
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Active stapler situation puts school on lockdown
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this two-wheeled daredevil
source: apikabu.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Anonymous releases the KKK names. For real this time
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Police officer turns an F-Minus day into an A-Plus night, and leaves a lot of dust in the process
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The good news is you don't have cancer. The bad news is your tapeworm does. NOPE trifecta in play
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Inside the bird it's called stuffing.. a sure way to overcook a turkey unless you undercook the mixture. Instead, you play it smart and make a dressing on the side to go with the big feast. Now show us what you put in it
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
School on 'modified lockdown' over social media threat, which is not as bad as regular lockdown and much better than Double Secret Lockdown
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Construction workers in Manhattan uncover the plot to the next Poltergeist movie
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these ferocious fighters
source: cdn1.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
The real reason taxpayers finance sports stadiums: No Costco team colors
source: now.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pensioner who's been blocking traffic by driving ancient tractor twice the length of Britain at no more than nine mph for the past six years finally decides to get off the road, complaining about OTHER motorists
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If wandering around naked on your front lawn is wrong, this Florida man doesn't want to be right
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Parents, be warned: when your children are texting about "salad," they secretly mean "sex." And you don't even want to know what "croutons" refers to
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(The Local)
 
 
 
To be fair, Jesus probably WOULD have supported draconian anti-immigration policies if they would have kept the Roman immigrants from nailing him to a tree
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(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Step 1: Steal Underpants Step 2: ? Step 3: Profit
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Rome's Trevi Fountain reopens after $2.2 million makeover. People begin arriving from all over, especially those who live in California and have never had the experience of actually seeing water flowing
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
France sends the Charles de Gaulle to surrender to ISIS in person
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(Livingston Daily)
 
 
 
Okay, break into tattoo parlor, check. Get naked, check. Break into car dealership, steal car, get into high-speed chase with police, crash car into a utility pole. Check, check, check and check
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(Komo)
 
 
 
Casino Patron: I just won $8 million on a slot machine. Casino: Nope, the machine's broken. We'll give you $80, and you're lucky to even get that
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Rare tropical storm dumps a year's worth of rain on Yemen in one day. Or as California calls a full rain gauge, a quarter inch of dust and three spider webs
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(Salon)
 
 
 
Stephen Colbert: "Crippled America is just a terrible phrase that sounds deeply offensive. Kind of like 'President Trump'"
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(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
"Waiter? There's an incompetent burglar in my soup" "Quiet, everyone will want one" "Ba-dum-bum Seriously, get this dude off me"
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Thirteen year game of hide-and-seek has a happy ending
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you left your tractor parked outside of the newly damaged Green Mountain Credit Union night deposit box, the police would like to talk to you
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Afghanistan continues to treat The Lottery as a documentary
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(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Census Bureau says more than 350 languages are spoken in the U.S. Mostly by those who have gotten a job as a phone consultant for tech support
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(The Queensland Times)
 
 
 
Two thugs punch man on train and steal his wallet, forgetting all about the high-definition cameras all around the train station. Will now be prosecuted for crimes against fellow passenger, fashion
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bill that would require LA pornographers make their actors wear condoms is one step closer to making porn more realistic
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(Unedited Politics)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stage prop
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
It doesn't matter how untrue it is, when you're the mayor you never want to have to hold a press conference refuting accusations that you belong to the KKK
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(BGR)
 
 
 
Apple has a cash hoard large enough to buy every major sports team in the world, and would have enough spare change left over to buy General Motors
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If you're persistent, you can turn your child's made-up food allergy into the real thing
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The health difference between sugar and high fructose corn syrup will be decided by nine people too fat to run away from jury duty
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
See? Cops get punished when they shoot a prone person on the ground. They are taking away his award. Now, doesn't that make it better?
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(The Verge)
 
 
 
Feel the Bern...ing weed
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
10-year-old boy writes letter to judge asking to keep mom in jail for fatally stabbing dad. Judge sets release date for December 2016. Looks like Mother's Day 2017 is going to be awkward
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Exam asks child to show his thinking. That's exactly what he does
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Florida schoolteacher has kid, realizes in hospital that it will enter Florida school system in roughly five years, immediately resigns, leaves resignation note that goes viral
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
Sorry folks, crab season's cancelled. The neurotoxin-poisoned moose out front shoulda told ya
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Suspect in airport bomb threat caught after "Rochester police received a tip about noon of a naked man masturbating in his car and honking the car horn"
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
In Afghanistan, corruption is so blatant that when you get sentenced to jail for bank fraud, it comes with an automatic "Get Out of Jail" card and a chance to hob nob with high government officials
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(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 548: "What Once Was Will Pass" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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Wed November 04, 2015
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The good news is, you don't have a tumor in your brain. The bad news is, it's a tapeworm
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Japan warns train commuters not to practice "aruki smaho" -- smartphoning while wandering around train platforms and bumping into other commuters
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The good news: The class war is going well. The bad news: If you belong to the 1%. The others? Not so much
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Finance)
 
 
 
Fark is not my personal erotica site, so I go to Daily Finance for "Unexpected Uses for Petroleum Jelly"
source: dailyfinance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Frosted Flakes fans want Tony's D. And I don't mean Vitamin D
source: internet.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It's as if millions of voices all tweeted out their awkwardness, and were suddenly bonding while tripping over invisible rocks
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this exhibitionist
source: photocdn1.itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(How Stuff Works)
 
 
 
Unintended side effect of driverless cars: more barf bags
source: now.howstuffworks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Not news: Conservatives warn of gay agenda supporters. Fark: Chick-Fil-A
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Jesus returns... with a new coat of paint
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Police officer's death upgraded from homicide to carefully staged suicide
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Researcher has her grant application denied because she submitted it using the wrong font. Difficulty: NOT Comic Sans
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Idaho Militia group holds rally at statehouse to warn of ISIS invasion of America via sleeper agents posing as Syrian refugees: "This isn't some made up crap we're peddling" says the guy who made up the crap they were peddling
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Landings halted at San Diego's airport due to active shooter with a rifle nearby. The NRA to call for the mounting of machine guns on commercial airliners in response
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(Out Magazine)
 
 
 
Utah elects first openly gay minister, somehow still not budging on that 4% beer rule
source: out.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingston Whig)
 
 
 
Don't take drugs. But if you must take drugs, don't leave your residence. But if you must leave your residence, don't run around in people's backyards and break windows. And for the love of all that is holy, don't do it naked
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(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Douchecanoe to find out what it means to get a paddlin'
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(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Lobsters, cod join climate scientists in promoting the huge climate change conspiracy
source: goingcoastal.bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If your bedside manner can be described as 'he groped woman's breasts like he was polishing headlights,' maybe you shouldn't be in the medical profession
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(Upworthy)
 
 
 
"Pizza delivery...here's your large pepperoni with extra cheese, mushrooms, and a new house to replace yours destroyed in a storm. Oh, and no charge for the onions"
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(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this horse and carriage
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
California reminds everyone why it's not a good idea to bring a knife to a gunfight
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Virginia Zoo elephants moving to Miami and will be replaced with rhinos, jut like the rest of the GOP
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Mum died after 'excessive consumption' of caffeine from drinking 8 litres of Pepsi Max." Never mind the prescription drugs and the liter of vodka per day, it's all the fault of the soda
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(UPI)
 
 
 
To the surprise of absolutely no one, forcing fast food restaurants to post calorie information has done absolutely nothing to change American eating habits. In fact, some saw it as a challenge instead of warning
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Fox breaks into zoo and massacres the penguins. Rupert Murdoch has gone too far this time
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
German woman spontaneously bursts into flames in park, combining mystery with tragedy and a strangely compelling pyrotechnics show
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
1953: Paper boy receives 15 cent tip. 2015: Paper boy is rich because the tip included a fake nickel with a spy's microfilm inside, and he bought a strip club with it. At least, I think that's the story
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Doctors warn of the dangers of a trend known as "Chemsex," which involves days-long, drug-fueled orgies with "an average of five partners," mostly because they never seem to get invited to parties like that
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(Science Blogs)
 
 
 
Exactly how stupid are anti-vaccine nutjobs? This stupid
source: scienceblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ex-Walmart CEO crashes plane on Arkansas highway, demands tax rebate for his development of aerospace infrastructure and creating jobs cleaning up the mess
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
So, is that a dead man's penis in your pocket or are you happy to see m--wait, WHAT?
source: thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
If the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun, how many good guys with guns does it take to stop three bad guys robbing a meat market when one starts shooting right away and one has a stun gun instead? Show your work
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Google developing technology to automatically reply to your emails. Humans soon to become superfluous to the whole email process
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Philippine Jihadists seeking ransom for Norwegian man demand . . . *puts pinky to mouth* . . . ONE BILLION PESOS
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(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
America is seeing the rapid growth of the "high income poor": People who make a decent income but are so saddled with debt and expenses they have no savings and live paycheck to paycheck
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(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
After failing 95% of audits, TSA is considering upgrading their workforce by hiring dogs. It is going to be pretty embarrassing when they start getting promoted into management
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maldives President, in an effort to help solidify new Democracy, arrests Vice President, declares Martian law
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Defense Watch)
 
 
 
I support the guy in China who makes these magnetic ribbons
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Romanian PM resigns after mass protests
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Life Of A Porn Star, In Black And White (Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Definitely not a Caturday thread: Your Dog may not be going to heaven ...but your cat is definitely go to hell
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
While the Twitter rage over the new heart icon continues largely unabated, at least no one is accusing Twitter of trying to kill its users...oh, wait
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(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
There's now a price tag on human excrement. You may be sitting on a gold mine
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Which one of you let the Swedes try making pizza?
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
They paved Acra nice and put up a parking lot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gymnast
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
No matter how hot she is, or isn't, Iranian clerics say they've had enough of her shiat
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Songbirds that haven't been seen for fifty years spotted in a park. Immediately eaten by falcons that haven't been seen for sixty years
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
You've got to fight ... for your child's right ... to have mandatory recess
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You ever get so angry you jam all your electronics into the oven, set the kitchen on fire, and take on 8 cops while naked? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Well, except in Fairfax
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Plane crashes in denial
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Ayatollah wants to set the record straight and let everyone know that just because he might say 'Death to America,' that does not mean he wants death to Americans
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Teen jailed for running €4 million online business from his mom's basement
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Chick-kill-a
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Back in the day we knew when winter was coming when the acorns fell, today in the 21st century you need a crazy snow map like this from NOAA that shows how much snow is coming
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Up in smoke: Marijuana legalization amendment fails on Ohio ballot
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The answer to "How many flatulent sheep does it take to bring down an airplane?" has been discovered
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
AP has called the Kentucky governor's race for Republican Matt Bevin. Hats off to the 4% voting for Drew
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 03, 2015
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
The newest craft liquor being embraced by smug hipsters to flavor everything from coffee to orange juice is **spins wheel** amaro
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Never bring a... you know what? Just don't get into a machete fight
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pew poll finds people are using them less
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New book tries to make the Borgia Pope seem tame by comparison
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Having your hand in the pork and mutton jar at this meat market in China will get you publicly bound and humiliated
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Hey, free gum
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Young child found wandering around outside without jacket or pants. Police return her to her family after mistakenly first identifying her as a farker
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Three Minnesota men caught with 2,000 pounds of illegal turtle meat and a really large slow cooker
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TZ Online)
 
 
 
Photoshop this German electromagnetic radiation pollution detector official
source: tz.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Study funded by pro-charter school group finds that online charter schools are not better than nothing
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mint Press News)
 
 
 
Ireland announces plans to decriminalize heroin and cocaine, adding, "They're magically delicious"
source: mintpressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Hi, my name is Nicholas and I'm an alcoholic, and a capuchin monkey
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
No Vergnügen is being had working at Volkswagen these days
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Finally, America will have a place where youths can try to kill each other. You know, other than schools, churches, shopping malls
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Live thread for the Kentucky gubernatorial race
source: interactives.courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newark Advertiser (UK))
 
 
 
If there's one thing I want my damn council to provide, it's a free fruit pressing machine
source: newarkadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to see know your future? Throw out the tea leaves and your crystal ball and go get your legs waxed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Big Story)
 
 
 
A taxidermy library. Come get your mounted ocelot and bear paws. Just remember to return what you check out
source: greatbigstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Bus drivers' union warns its members are at risk of dying quietly in their sleep, not screaming in terror like their passengers
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ahmed Chalabi, Iraqi exile who helped spur U.S. invasion of Iraq, throws his last curve ball
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Oktoberfest Damen
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man tries to smuggle drugs, a knife, and a McMuffin into jail to prepare him for life in prison
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists discover that chimps moved from a Dutch safari park to an Edinburgh zoo developed Scottish accents. Researchers from outside Scotland also find that the chimps are easier to understand than the locals
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Joey, have you ever let a grown man bathe you at an Iranian Hamam in Mumbai?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Bad: hoist on your own petard. Worse: videoed on your own upskirt camera
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Congratulations, you have twins" *THUD*
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Mom of the year drives drunk with five kids in car, crashes into parked car, poses for mugshot with airbag powder still all over her
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop conducting an investigation asks to see a woman's phone. It took a bit, but the woman realized all of her nude photos were sent to the cop's personal cell phone
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elmer Fudd)
 
 
 
Poachers: Deer season. Wardens: Decoy season
source: vtfishandwildlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mississippi News Now)
 
 
 
The South will *BOOM* again
source: msnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Frenchman claims his garden lion is friendly and peaceful, has no idea why everyone is screaming to get back in the car
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Why I pulled my son out of a school for gifted kids. "Because he is a dumbass" suspiciously missing from article
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 Albany)
 
 
 
Woman who's totally marriage material arrested after faking illness so she could get an ambulance ride to go see her boyfriend, who has got to be delighted he landed such a prize
source: news10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Dude-bro who assaulted Uber driver on video was mid-level manager at Taco Bell, sees his job Meximelt away
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Skydiving rule #1 - Jump clear of the plane
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Coked-up, gun-wielding Indiana woman leaves blow-up doll and poop-covered sex toy on porch"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Today is National Sandwich Day. Be a hero, join the club and post your favorite, unless you're a sub human or just a Po' Boy who can't afford one
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And now, an article on the growing popularity of penis pastries in Sweden. By reporter Ron Dicker
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Israeli cabinet minister proposes mass deportations of unwelcome, unregistered residents. Specifically, stray cats
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"My body didn't belong to me, it belonged to the U.S. Military" An in-depth look at the sex industry surrounding U.S. military bases
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New evidence suggests internal explosion took down Russian airliner
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
If your school counseling session ends up with the counselor putting acupuncture needles into your testicles, it's fair to say that you've gone into the weeds a bit
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Christians are sneaking their own form of Sharia law into binding arbitration agreements. Better pray you are satisfied with that hardwood floor you bought
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
New UK passport design is launched featuring tougher security measures, increased sexism
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
Bake sale to raise money for orphans is ruined by the old "dildo in a cake" prank
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boise Weekly)
 
 
 
It's your average, everyday, "Man crashes car, emergency workers get charged by bull, sheriffs kill farmer" story
source: boiseweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Unforgettable train stations from around the world that are so much more magnificent than the one made of cardboard under the bridge where that one hobo took you on a date (slideshow)
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maxim Magazine)
 
 
 
Lawsuit claims that a college coach provided sex to students. Weird: Academic coach. Weirder: Notre Dame. WTF: Coerced students to have sex with her daughter
source: maxim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Thanks to everyone for a fantastic Scary Story thread this Halloween. Here are the winners
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fashion whatever
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Office air is making you dumber, lazier, less healthy. Open a window
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Come to Lexington on Tuesday and celebrate with Drew the end of the campaign at the best Election Night party you've ever seen
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Protip: Never get into a shootout with Batman in a strip club parking lot
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
It was a sign from God
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Here's a look at just how much caffeine is in coffee from nationwide chains. I've never heard of Deathwish Coffee, but suddenly it is important to ensure we have one built in this area
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news, DC Farkers. Metro is about to allow food and beverage sales in its stations, so at least you won't be hungry or thirsty while you wait for the late train that's going to trap you in a smoke-filled tunnel to die
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Colorado proves that the state did not descend into drug-fueled anarchy after legalizing marijuana
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Grandfather of the Year nominee leaves 5-year-old granddaughter out in the middle of the desert with a loaded handgun as he went to find help...or maybe just a jalapeno cheeseburger, a few Smirnoff Ices, and a "Not Your Father's Root Beer"
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fairfax County (Virginia) high school system bans fire
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
That Anonymous operation exposing high-ranking KKK members? Yeah, about that
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man decides it's a good idea to let his 4-year-old daughter tattoo him
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Guinness to change centuries-old recipe for vegans. No more fish bladders
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 02, 2015
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
Tokyo university awards diplomas to twelve ex-students who understandably missed graduation ceremony due to WWII conscription. "I'm really happy. This matter has finally come to an end," says 92-year-old grad
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Man with perfectly square head arrested for killing his grandfather (with perfectly square mugshot goodness)
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Rachel Dolezal admits she's white but reminds everyone we're all from Africa
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Are you 45-55 years of age, white, male, poor, and have at most a high school education? Congratulations, you'll be dead soon
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
He's a college grad, pilot, author, NASA consultant. Feel like an underachiever yet? He's 17
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wilson Quarterly)
 
 
 
An exploration of the best ways to die. Somehow, "wedged in a pool of bourbon between the naked, writhing bodies of Milla Jovovich, Jennifer Lawrence, and Scarlett Johansson" didn't make the cut
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Study shows owning puppies and ponies lowers the risk of asthma in kids. Scientist who prepared the study suspected to be a child in a long lab coat standing on the shoulders of another child
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The day is upon us
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Bazaar: Drop your socks and grab your smocks, it's the artsy-crafty, job-creatin', boot-strappin' official Fark Bazaar. Come in and peddle your wares or perhaps spring for that artisanal, hand-crafted free-range bag of farts you've always wanted. DIT
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(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lovebirds
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
*Knock-knock* "Who's there?" *BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Skywatchers and Space Weather geeks, there is a high probability of seeing Northern Lights as far south as Raleigh or Oklahoma city tonight. Keep looking up
source: gi.alaska.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
"I'm sorry, sir. The wait will be an hour for a table." "DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FARK I AM? No, seriously...who am I?"
source: kitchenette.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Jokers trying to bring razor-sharp batarangs onto airplanes are becoming the bane of the TSA
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The difference between scotch and bourbon, aside from only one of them being fit for human consumption
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Retail Federation)
 
 
 
As an American don't you feel good to know that we spent more than a third of a billion dollars on Halloween costumes for our pets this year?
source: nrf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman sentenced for her part in Wal-Mart embezzling ring, given 18 months of probation to try to set her sights a bit higher
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
"Sex change" operations are becoming so mainstream even 5,000-year-old trees are getting them
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meditating man
source: 36.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
OK kids, let's play a game. I'll be the guy from Orkin and you'll be the ants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Of the three states with the most serial killings per 1,000, two of them are states with a pretty low population. And the top state with a high population probably wouldn't surprise you, given what you already know about it
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vacationing hipster determined to forage for his food in Italy learns the hard way that some leaves shouldn't be eaten
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Oklahoma mayor apologizes for husband's Ku Klux Klan themed Halloween Party. The mayor says she had no involvement as she was off Trick or Treating with her son. Who dressed as Buckwheat in blackface
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Town in Galicia celebrates 'Clitoris Festival,' confusing many men who don't know where Galicia is, either
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
"A dog shouldn't look like a coffee table"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you think candy corn is the most offensive candy then try a bag of "attractive and successful African-Americans toes"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Someday Tech Will End Our Dumb Two Party System - an op-ed by Drew Curtis, Independent Candidate for Governor of Kentucky #howabouttuesday #kygov
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(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Have extra Halloween candy? This dentist will buy it back from you because it will make his job easier in the long run
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a fork from eating at Cracker Barrel
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"That body on a hammock is a cool Halloween decoration." "No, that is a real decomposing body"
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(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Are you a politician who's wondering why your phone has been ringing off the hook this morning? Well it seems that Anonymous may have revealed you to be a member of the Klan
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The war on drugs grew soft because white people started a heroin epidemic
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Researchers find 'no good evidence' to support low-fat diets. Mostly because low-fat diets only work when they are combined with the one that calls for low food
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(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Earthquakes tired of killing thousands, decide to topple thousands of lawn chairs instead
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dyslexic KKK members, police pulling over fabric, and Great White back on tour again: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/25 - 10/31
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(Inside Higher Ed)
 
 
 
University revealed to have 2-ply toilet paper for top administrators and 1-ply for everyone else. Is this, as suggested on Twitter, cl-ass warfare?
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(TMZ)
 
 
 
Ashley Madison users, already ashamed that everyone knows they were duped into trying to have affairs with nonexistent women, are bringing a class action lawsuit against the website because the women were a lie
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(GMX)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big sanitation project
source: i2.gmx.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nigerian painter wins $50,000 award, according to an e-mail I just received
source: artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remains of Kogalymavia Flight 9268 crash victims repatriated in timely fashion. Russia: "Oh, that's how you're supposed to do it?"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Teen steals donut truck, is immediately detained by cops from 37 counties, 12 states and a couple of Canadian Mounted Patrol
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Nebraska meat processing plant recalls over 160,000 pounds of meat after their "E. Coli in every box" promotion falls flat
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
New research says Stonehenge was the site of massive cookouts where thousands of revelers feasted on meat. Which means the prehistoric stone monument may be nothing more than the world's first open barbecue pit
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(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you think KFC is good in America, you should try it in China. Or South Korea. Or Japan. Or the Philippines. Or India. Or Taiwan. Or Malaysia. Or Canada. Or Brazil. Or Mexico. Or Thailand. Or the Arab States. Or Chile
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pharmacy hands out bi-polar medicine to children instead of trick-or-treat candy. But let's make sure the media is freaking out the public with stories of kids in Washington and Colorado overdosing on recreational weed by injecting it into their eyes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
It's not every day that a woman strips naked, lies spread eagle on a table at Johnny Rockets and pours ketchup all over herself, but when that day comes, you can bet on which tag will be used
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Innocent or guilty, it never looks good if you're spattered with blood in your mugshot
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The New York Times made the Iraq and Afghanistan wars look "really cool, really glamorous, and really bloodless," causing America to fall in love with war pornography
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hey aliens, when planning your next vacation, remember that scenic Florida is your new hotspot
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Here is the most terrifying clown in the world
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMTV Omaha)
 
 
 
Tigers are really just big cats. Breaking into the zoo to pet one isn't a bad idea at all
source: kmtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Halloween mug shots
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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