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Sun October 04, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Former Scottish first minister barred from British Airways flight after identifying himself as James T. Kirk. "I just wanted BA to 'beam me up, Scotty'"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Flood, which began as once in 200 years, then 500 years, is now once in 1000 years. And what's the deal with that guy building the large boat, anyhow
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dearly departing
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Mom wins social media campaign against beach bar over serving plastic straws with drinks. Next up: Serving little umbrellas with drinks
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Plastic bags are good for you. No, really. We mean it. Stop with all the bag hate, people
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two year-old charged with theft. Personally, I hope they give the little bastard the maximum
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
After years of wasting resources, counter-productive results and tedious lectures from Dunk, recycling still exists mainly to make leftist urban hipsters feel superior to normal Americans
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Porn star asked to give speech at Christian college
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
What is the wing speed velocity of a laden pigeon carrying 28 grams of drugs to a prison in Costa Rica?
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melting meditator
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Not news: Black male suspended from school. News: White female scared and intimidated by another student. Fark: While engaging in staring contest
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Bermuda Triangle claims another victim
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Don't send naked pictures to anybody you don't trust. Also, don't trust anybody
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Oh the cute manateee
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
They walk in carrying a skateboard, wearing jeans and a hoodie, and walk out with $3 million. Welcome to the new era of teenage high-roller gamblers
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
If you want to kill the dentist who used to date your boyfriend, you just might get lucky and hire an actual hitman, not a cop
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
If you deny a cop his donuts, you're gonna have a bad time
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mom writes civil, thoughtful criticism of "sexy cop" costumes for toddlers on Party City's Facebook page. Party City naturally has a problem with that
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Photoshop this staged romance
source: images1.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Work lessons
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Texas "textbooks" refer to America's history of slavery as "Africans being brought over as 'workers' on Southern plantations"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Not news: Man jailed for stealing truck. Fark: He did it so he could get away from his wife
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Hero soldier saves woman from being kidnapped from a crazed man. Fark: The soldier didn't notice all the cameras filming it for a movie
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Here's a man desperate to get out of his cellular plan (w/video)
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Blount County, Tennessee considers adopting measure begging God to spare them His coming wrath over same-sex marriage
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker, and for tonight only a very special co-host will be joining him in the studio
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 03, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Billionaires only care about the prices of planes and boats and things like that. "A loaf of bread? No idea"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Scientists successfully reattach decapitated infant's head. I've seen this movie and it doesn't end well for the rest of us
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Assuming this is true (and in my mind it is), it's the greatest missed connection story ever
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Oregon gunman spared one student, gave him a package and told him to deliver it to the police. The police never heard of it
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Florida senate candidate : I'll admit to performing ritualistic animal sacrifices, but I never dismembered a goat
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slight case of crazy
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Flatulent fatso furious for firing, fights former firm for flippant frustrating failure to forget fault-free farts, feces flare-ups. FFS
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Man of Steal
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
What should you do on your scooter after running a red light and almost causing a crash with a car? Dance on the top of their car of course
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tie-dye hair is the next big thing and... no, no it isn't
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
It's time to take up a collection for Warren Buffett, who's no longer the richest man in America
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naples Herald)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plain tour
source: naplesherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
"The thief was efficient, professional, highly polished"
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Cities throughout Colorado drop enforcement of panhandling bans after federal judge rules that simply asking for help is protected speech; just don't be a jerk about it
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lazy researchers at Chapman Unviersity "prove" that taller, thinner people have more sex
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Olympian)
 
 
 
Three siblings arrested after assault with a hot dog. There are no clear wieners in this case
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Home owners living near O'Hare Airport sue Chicago because it's too noisy. Air pollution, traffic still presumably okay
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Walking your dog at a car show? That's a night in the slammer
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When I first came here, this was all sandy beach. Everyone said I was daft to build a McMansion on a sandy beach, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank into bay. So I built a second one. That sank into the bay
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityNews Toronto)
 
 
 
Juror: Your Honor, I need to be excused from jury duty. Judge: On what grounds? Juror: I'm going to miss the ball game. Judge: Permission granted
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ring bearer, flower girl tie the knot 17 years later. In the same church
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
#16: We're all arrogant
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When they're not busy waging Jihad or beheading infidels, ISIS finds time to run two theme park attractions
source: en-maktoob.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Philadelphia marijuana decriminalization one year later: "The sky has remained in place. No one has tried to turn the Liberty Bell into a bong. Yet"
source: mobile.philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US airstrike in Kunduz accidentally bombs the heck out of a medical facility, collaterally damaging members of Doctors Without Borders. Whoopsiedoodles
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Feds argue that a search warrant is good for your entire hard drive, not just what they said they were looking for. Ghost of Thomas Jefferson cries
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Attention people bad at math: Powerball is changing their odds
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harbor Island Beer Festival)
 
 
 
Hey NYC and CT farkers. Come to the Harbor Island beer festival on October 3rd, 12-5PM
source: harborislandbeerfestival.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
OK, which of you Farkers has $96,000 less in the bank today?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meteorite that proves the Moon & the Earth got it on
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Listen up kids, this is what the internet looked like before it was a series of tubes. You don't want to know what the Fark drawer looked like
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
College towns with the best burgers. Hold the mayo
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cassidy, the two-legged kitten, born on the streets and surviving nine weeks alone in a forest, tries out his new wheelchair - just in time for Caturday
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR)
 
 
 
The new ICD-10 medical codes can be pretty specific, like a V91.07X: Burn due to water skis on fire and W61.42XA which is used for someone struck by a turkey, which is not to be confused with a W61.62X, which is to be used for duck strikes
source: empr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Giant spiders are fighting and eating one another in Britain in a long war of attrition, and the battle is happening inside everyone's homes. Why, there could be thousands of spiders fighting in your crawlspace and cupboards RIGHT NOW
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 02, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
The week is over, and with any luck the weather will be just poor enough to get you out of weekend yardwork, but not bad enough to take out the cable TV. In the meantime, you can take the Fark Weird News Quiz and hang onto your success all weekend
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
To dump or not to dump all of your photos of your ex after you dump them? That is the question
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
You global warming people need to CHILL out, Earth's natural coolant could be TWICE as powerful as scientists previously believed
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Couple's wedding favors were explosive...ly popular. Just dynamite. They could really blow up...on Etsy
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old boy leads blind deer to grass patches every day before school to make sure it has enough to eat
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Today's data breach involving 4.65 million customers comes to you compliments of Scottrade
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Tornado in Laurel, MD confirmed, downgraded from extra aggressive lane change
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Drunk man befriends chicken, entices it to commit cannibalism
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Design an ad for the 2050 automotive model year
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
All aboard the stray-dog train
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Sheriff investigating Oregon college shooting posted a YouTube video on the Sandy Hook massacre: "I'm not saying it's aliens, but"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
If you publish a book of rants against Asians, gays, immigrants, and breast-feeding moms you probably should not consider running for office at any point in the future
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The pope did not have a private audience with Kim Davis, in fact the only private audience he had at the Embassy was with his gay friend Yayo and his partner
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
When I joined the fraternity I thought it would get chicks, keggers, and lifetime memories with my bros. Instead I got third degree burns from having to stand in frigid salt water for twenty minutes
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Woman becomes U.S. citizen and changes her name to Oprah Winfrey. Still no takers for 'Dr. Phil'
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Can more contraception going to poor families really reduce poverty? The short answer: Yes. The long answer: Fewer babbies means less poverty
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Cargo ship with 33 crew members now missing in the Bahamas. CNN rushes to the scene
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Thanks to tequila, George Clooney and Cindy Crawford ended up in bed together. No thanks to tequila because 'nothing happened'
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmag)
 
 
 
For $200 you can buy a box that gets the current weather conditions from your smartphone and then recreates those conditions as it sits on your desk. Or you could, you know, just look out the window
source: gizmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Finish this unfinished work of art
source: joakimlund.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
CNN reporters seen going into fits of ecstasy
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Not surprising: The 10 most dangerous cities in America are high density, high poverty areas. Surprising: Chicago somehow doesn't make the list
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Copenhagen Post)
 
 
 
Alarmed by a declining birth rate, Denmark urges elderly Danes to send their fertile descendants on special baby-making vacations
source: cphpost.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
As it turns out, there was a "good guy with a gun" on campus at UCC, and he was smart enough to stay away from the action to avoid being confused for the actual shooter by the responding SWAT team
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nightmare fuel experiment proves crows fear scientists in terrifying masks holding dead bodies as much as you do
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Last year ISIS fighters overran Yazidi villages in Iraq massacring the men and enslaving the women- who were later freed by Kurdish forces. Now many of those women are getting heavy weapons, military training, and a chance for some payback
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Nine ways to make your day more successful by 9AM. Really, you only need two things: apathy and coffee
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sofa shark will make you think twice before sticking your hand between cushions
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A delicious tour of Mexico's sandwich culture
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
It's that time of the season, the season to watch dead shopping malls turn colors
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oregon community college hero was shot seven times charging the gunman
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Good news East Coast of America, it looks like we will be spared the brunt of Hurricane Joaquin ...not so much for Britain. Hey look out you blokes, SUPERSTORM Joaquin will be heading straight for YOU
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bus driver marries passenger after lusting after her for six years. Thankfully, he's not a middle school bus driver
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Virginia executes man before the Supreme Court can rule on his request for a stay. Whoopsie
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember how Kim Davis claims she had a private audience with Pope Francis? As it turns out, she was invited by third parties to meet the pope as a group and the pope had no idea who she was
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Lawsuit filed against Colorado School of Mines over a football locker plaque and the word "Lord," which some people might find offensive. The lawsuit, not the word
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big-chinned generic superhero in action
source: kittybucholtz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
City wants family to get rid of Asperger's pig. Tasty, tasty Asperger's pig
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
New "malware" forces users to upgrade software and change bad passwords, while also removing other malware infections
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
If you're just starting college, the good news is the so-called 'Freshman Fifteen' is just a myth. The bad news is that by the time you graduate you'll probably be a lot fatter than you are right now
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Woman waves a sword at a man who jostled her on the bus. This comes six weeks after she got out of jail for bashing two men with nunchuks while stealing shampoo
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oregon becomes third U.S. state to allow recreational marijuana sales because freedom and USA USA USA
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Everything's bigger in Texas. Including the number of people there who now want pot legalized
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
If a 9-year-old student starts having a massive coughing fit so severe she vomits on herself do you c) take away her inhaler because the proper paperwork wasn't done because it might be some dangerous rogue inhaler?
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Police: You know that couple we called liars about her being kidnapped and held for ransom, and we called it the "Gone Girl" case? Turns out it wasn't a hoax, after all. Oops
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers have developed new test that can identify all known and unknown viruses. Fark: They're sharing the technology for free
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New research shows life sucks between 29 and 65
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
If you've applied for a cell phone through T-Mobile and had a credit check performed by Experian, congrats, you are the latest identity theft victim
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heavy)
 
 
 
The Umpqua Oregon shooter was a mixed-race, Conservative Republican, Neo-Nazi who lived with his parents
source: heavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 01, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
Now if they could just get rid of Mondays
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia: "Police said they were aware of the incident but they were not taking any action as the bear had a seat belt on"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
The sheriff of Douglas County, Oregon, who stood before cameras today with no answers for their local school shooting, wrote Joe Biden in 2013, "Gun control is NOT the answer to preventing heinous crimes like school shootings"
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The VA would like to apologize to veterans for its "bring a cell phone, we cancel your appointment" policy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Today's "Headline that sounds dirty but really isn't": "Arizona state capitol dome is turning purple"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Several reporters were heard asking "did somebody get told" after Nancy Pelosi responded to a male journalist challenging her knowledge of childbirth
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Latest company suspected of using illegal 'defeat devices:' Samsung. Now, don't all you people with diesel powered televisions feel stupid?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Morocco arresting tourists on suspicion of being gay, so I guess that means I'm leaving my show tunes collection at home
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bowl of fruit salad
source: cegroni.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Tornado knocks out power to 10,000 people in Lancaster County, PA, none of whom noticed
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Got a baby face? No worries, you too can be an insufferable hipster
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you are talking about so here's a leopard with a pot stuck on its head
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Finally a study you can throw in your Roomba's face when it starts getting too self-satisfied
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you bought a lotto ticket in a gas station in Three Rivers, Michigan, lottery officials would like to have about three hundred million words with you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Yep, it really is that time again. Break out your chili recipes and show us why yours is superior
source: budgetbytes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
PSA: if women are taking pictures of you while you expose yourself to them, it may not be because they're impressed
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Drunk Navy officer did NOT squeeze a raccoon in order to bypass a breathalyzer interlock. It was purely for recreational purposes
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Why do so many Americans think they have Cherokee blood?" Hm. Well, I haven't read TFA yet, but is it because they're morons? *scans article* Yup, morons
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Paying to sit around and have a painfully boring conversation with some stranger isn't actually a great way to be happy, scientists admit
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
France is a 'country of white race' according to politician's statement, which surprised many who expected her to say 'flags'
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lighthouse
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Just in time for Halloween, Egyptian archaeologists set the stage for "The Return of the Curse of King Tut"
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
After 120 years, the last 'dry' village in England gets alcohol ban lifted. Raise a glass
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Pretrial hearing starts as Hulk Hogan takes on Gawker. We've got lawyers, washed up wrestlemania stars and muckraking web 'journalists,' and all we need to complete the circus is maybe a Kardashian on fire or something
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Michelle Mitchell -- wellness entrepreneur, yoga instructor, and bringer of balance to unbalanced lives -- will teach you and your children how to achieve inner peace in JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE JESUS CHRIST STOP NAGGING CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vibe 107.6)
 
 
 
A 20 meter wide sinkhole opens up in London. Land owners immediately try to rent it out for £4000/month
source: vibe1076.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Oh sure, you leave bags unattended, try to buy a international ticket with cash and strip down to your underpants at ONE airport ticketing counter, and all of a sudden the police consider you a disturbance
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A woman finds happiness after she convinces a psychologist to pour drain cleaner in her eyes to permanently blind her
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Notorious art thief found dead in canal, lashed to a shopping trolley. Art world says it's a provocative installation piece by Canaletto
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman tells bear it can't have her kayak and eat it, too
source: thescuttlefish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Police smash car windows to rescue an infant doll left sitting awkwardly on a seat cushion
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
NewsFlash
 
Today's mass shooting is in Oregon
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Cougar takes up pole dancing
source: cnews.canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Researchers look for reasons why high school dropouts die more frequently in car crashes. "Hold my beer and watch this" investigated as possible cause
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It's just your average "man gets drunk at baseball game, steals mascot costume, goes barhopping" story
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You know your religion sucks if you're allowed to have multiple wives but you're only allowed to touch them while the priest rapes them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Man who camped for three years in his Mercedes car on a Highland road in Scotland is evicted by police who say he has become a hazard
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Titanic's last lunch menu sells for $88,000 at auction. Apparently passengers dined on corned beef, iceberg lettuce, salt water taffy
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this export
source: aviaservices.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Spider bites man. Did the guy turn into Spider-Man? No, his leg burst open instead
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
15 massive parcel bomb explosions rock Chinese city of Liuzhou, leaving seven dead and mostly government buildings demolished. But it's been classified as "criminal", not "terrorism", so no need to worry. Move on citizen
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If a calorie is a calorie, why are people fatter even if they eat the same things they did in the '80s? Is it because of environmental factors, antidepressants, the microbiome, or the spandex-induced flashback to the 20-minute workout?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Bicycle makers would like to remind everyone that they are an important part of the U.S. transportation infrastructure, and therefore are going to have their own major recalls
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Zippy the Pinhead impersonator arrested for assaulting elderly woman (warning: graphic images)
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Hulk smashed
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Ahmed the clock kid was molested by Michael Jackson's chimp
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
They only say good things about you, if you can resist creating an account. Sounds good
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
"Illegal yabby trap kills two platypuses in Murrumbidgee River". Strewth
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Never forget. Congress just went on recess without reauthorizing the 9/11 First Responder health care bill
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Production company shooting a promotional video showcasing how great Houston is gets robbed at gunpoint
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Couple who own bakery lose lawsuit by lesbian couple they caused emotional distress. Donors raise more than enough money to cover the bakers' expenses, but they decide to not not pay the judgement and pocket all the donations. This will not end well
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Man who built "stone dungeon" to house sex slaves he wanted to buy is remembered by neighbors as quiet, creepy
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Home medical advice: If you're continually hearing a scratching noise in your ear, the odds are overwhelming against it being evil spirits
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Little girl loses her teddy bear at airport, causes massive security scare. Oh wait, it was in Canada, awesomeness ensues
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 543: "Seen Better Days 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 30, 2015
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Company creates caffeinated peanut butter. Because kids aren't hyper enough
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Graffiti artist shot and killed while painting anti-violence mural
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Not news: Florida man loses control of car, crashes. News: Car splits in two, but he only suffers minor injuries. Fark: how he managed to get a 1986 Nissan 300ZX to start in the first place
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Secret British Area 51 alien research base uncovered deep underground in UFO hotspot. Could be where Thunderbirds was filmed in secret TV studios in the 1960s
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Pentagon on Russia entering the fray against ISIS in Syria: You're pouring gasoline on a fire. Granted, it's a fire we started and have been maintaining for years, but it's sort of our thing so stop it
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Some executive at a board meeting said, "You know, I bet we could get more Millennials to go to the ballet if it was sponsored by PBR"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The criminal trial of former Massey Energy CEO Don Blankenship -- the guy who used to sponsor anti-union rallies on Labor Day -- is set to open in West Virginia, and all it took to get to get him indicted was a body count most serial killers would envy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this light on the wall
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Renault, Nissan, Hyundai, Citroen, Fiat and Volvo join VW, BMW, Mercedes and Audi with cars that researchers have just found mysteriously fail emissions tests when tested in the real world
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Man throws "deadly' pee pee at the popo
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Snapchat's new "emoji face" feature leaves users yearning for the halcyon days of unsolicited penis pics
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Rest easy, citizens: A federal court has determined that there's no need for you to know what's being injected into the ground water table by fracking companies
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
New Tesla has "Bioweapon Defense Mode," perfect for all you wealthy tree-hugging doomsday preppers
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Edward Snowden has apparently taken up landscaping and ice sculpture to fill his time
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Anarchists behind Cereal Killer Cafe protest are unrepentant, will continue targeting obvious gentrifiers because it's good publicity. "Someone throws a couple of bags of paint at a cereal cafe and it's in the newspapers from Italy to New Zealand"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
First they came for our cargo shorts, now they want us to wear khaki joggers and jean jackets for fall. Bonus: List adds up to over $10,000
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
This is just like Cinderella, if Cinderella was a creeper in Florida who wears flip-flops
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Go Fund Me - good for many noble things ... like reuniting a long-lost homeless father and his daughter who spotted his appeal to find a home by Christmas
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sprout
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Suck it, bullies
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
I hope you're sitting down as you read this, but that Saudi Prince who was accused of rape and posted $300,000 bail? Sounds like he's fled the U.S
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Can't make my wedding? That will be $75.90, please
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember those horror stories where you wake up with a scar over your kidney and in a bathtub full of ice? ISIS is doing that now. Without the ice
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
It's banned book week, an annual tradition dedicated to celebrating ███████
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You've heard of the warm zone El Nino in the Pacific? Well meet the cold zone called El Blobbo...which is Spanish for "the Blobbo"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
Drunk San Diego man successfully uses a raccoon to start his breathalyzer-equipped car, is attacked by the raccoon, crashes through a fence and into a swimming pool
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IBTimes)
 
 
 
The man who killed 77 people in Norway in 2011 vows to starve himself to death in protest over prison conditions
source: ibt.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
America's three most educated states are Massachusetts, Colorado, and Maryland, where roughly 40% have a college degree and 90% graduated high school. Three bottom states tried to read this and poked themselves in the eye with a spoon
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Scans show Pompeii victims were in good health...except for the bit about being vaporized by streams of deadly lava, of course
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Bicyclists: Share the road. Joggers: Share the bike lanes. Bicyclists: NO
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Note to self: Do not store expanding builder's foam next to hair products
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Chinese scientists made micropigs to study human diseases but decided to sell them as custom made pets instead
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you, like I, nurture secret plans to raise an army of attack terriers, all genetically identical with genes carefully selected to favor viciousness, relentlessness, and love of steak, then good news, brother: Our time is almost at hand
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Louisiana officials would like to apologize for accidentally setting free a convicted killer last week. So, you know, sorry and stuff. Don't worry, they're looking for him
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Best idea ever: the Chinese ban superlatives in advertising
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My best friend died driving drunk; he veered into oncoming traffic and killed another person too. I tell everyone this, but my friend's mom claims I'm slandering their name and wants me to lie. I think that's wrong. Who is right?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
First woman in 70 years to be executed in Georgia chooses a diet drink in her last meal
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Python spotted in neighborhood where residents don't want none
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man shot dead by father as wife goes into labor in what is sure to be the next hit country song from the perspective of the baby
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tales of the Cocktail)
 
 
 
If you want to be a Mongolian shaman than you better get used to the taste of vodka
source: talesofthecocktail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now)
 
 
 
Residents upset that a former church building is to be used for SWAT training, because that would somehow desecrate the weddings and funerals that had been held there
source: scrippsmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Not trying to scare you or anything, East Coast Farkers, but you might want to think about building yourself one of them arks pretty soon. Like, before Thursday
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Scientists discover that fingerprints show ethnicity, can predict disease, and predict the amounts of crushing loneliness you'll feel for the rest of your life
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
I'm not drunk, officer. I swear I've only had two shots
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine Parkour with pole dancing? Only the most awesome sport yet
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"What's your excuse for your vehicle being in the lake?" "My dog drove it in"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Russia's answer to being told Assad can't be part of a future Syria by President Obama and international leaders? Send in their most advanced fighter bombers to Syria in order to prop up Assad against ISIS and the rebels. Because F-You West
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Is it your dream job to work for UPS, but with no benefits, while having to use your own car and pay for your own gas? Then boy oh boy does Amazon have a deal for you
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Is pornography changing the way we think as a society? Does your right hand feel tired? Bonus: "Rule 34" invoked
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bather
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man stoned to death in India because of a rumor he had beef in his fridge. Your dog doesn't want anything; he's just fine, thanks
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
In case you needed a reminder or maybe believed Jenny McCarthy and Jay Cutler's wife were telling the truth, VACCINES STILL DO NOT CAUSE AUTISM
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Teenager arrested after police learn he stole more than 100 guns from a single home. What's more terrifying here; the person who owned 100 guns for some reason, or the idiot gang banger whole stole them? Show your work
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Truck owner catches man stealing, holds him for deputies. Apparently, by the scalp
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man gets 30 day unpaid suspension for answering IT department phone like robot
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
It must be awkward to have to report on a lawsuit filed against your own newspaper and SeaWorld
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
America's first weed resort will open in South Dakota and have a smoking lounge, nightclub, arcade games, booze and munchies
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Revolutionary Tacos. "It's kind of a place that's super cool that Pancho Villa would have hung out in"
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Caaaaarrrrr
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Pharmacist pleads guilty to defrauding $14 million from Medicaid
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So why are we the only human species still alive?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New York authorities searching for escapee. Yes, this is a repeat from three years ago
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Edition)
 
 
 
As god is my witness, I thought tortoises could swim
source: insideedition.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 29, 2015
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Just you wait heathens and non-believers, the end of the world IS coming. Here's the science
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A good deal of Islamic State terrorists are shopping around for a new gig because their pay has been cut, with many switching from Twitter to LinkedIn
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, hotshot. Your sister wants to buy weed from you. What do you do?
source: adequateman.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Founder of 84 Lumber 86ed
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stack)
 
 
 
Can't get a good connection for your iPhone on Wi-Fi? Apple just fixed that for you. Thanks, Apple
source: thestack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
WARNING: Do not tamper with or disconnect air bag system. (This includes replacing it with bricks of cocaine)
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Woman falls from fourth floor escalator, will take steps to prevent any future accidents
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMTR Eugene)
 
 
 
Not content with locking in college teams to exclusivity contracts, Nike begins targeting high schools with deep discounts on their gear
source: kmtr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCHS Charleston)
 
 
 
When your package absolutely, positively has to be spread all over the Interstate
source: wchstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: President Kanye West
source: static3.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone The DOJ is investigating the DOJ's use of NSA surveillance data and promise to use every excuse available to find nothing wrong
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yakima Herald Republic)
 
 
 
"Pop quiz, hotshot: There are invisible Mexicans hiding in your trees. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?" "Shoot my balls off?" "Exactly"
source: yakimaherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Putin is getting jealous of all the live training that NATO airplanes are getting, expresses desire to get in on that
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Today was my first full day at the ranch, he wrote in the diary. I fed the cats and horses. So much I can do here. Bet the owners will be surprised
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Sex offender with nightmare-fueling face stalks boy for 2 years even continuing at the trial. "Ruppel watched the boy intently as he testified, bending his body to see around the lawyers who stood in front of the child and blocked his view"
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Kid finds $8,000 at the playground, approximately $7,999.75 more than subby ever did
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
11 lies wine snobs like to tell
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In hindsight, perhaps we should have told the locals that a film about the Nazis was being made in town
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Tropical Storm Joaquin strengthens in the Atlantic, still has a long way to go to outdo his performances in Walk the Line and Gladiator
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
The Hippocratic Oath implores physicians to "first do no harm." It doesn't say what to do the third time around though
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Blackbird pooping in the dead of night / Leave this plot of land and learn to fly / Now we find / You were only waiting for the chance to see us die
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice cream cone
source: stjconnect.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weird Universe)
 
 
 
If you're going to paint pictures of boobs, you might as well use your boobs. Boobs
source: weirduniverse.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times Gazette)
 
 
 
Dried plums might help reduce risk of colon cancer, but the delivery mechanism might bum you out
source: thetimesgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Airline passenger tip: When listening to the pre-flight announcements be especially aware of the location difference of the lavatory door and emergency exit
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Israel protests Norwegian Nazi Pizza comic. This mad libs headline has been brought to you by North Korean macaroni
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
After attacking man with meat tenderizing mallet, suspect taken downtown for grilling
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Hipsters are Kickstarting a portable heating unit that can be used in tents, micro-houses and other places where the beyond cool hang out. Fark: It's a wood-burning stove, just like the one your grampa has in his wall tent
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUT Austin)
 
 
 
Zimmerman to face charges after controversy surrounding his posts on social media
source: kut.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Tattoo artists tell us about the worst tattoos everyone wants. Apparently Brits are counting down their last days (possibly not safe for work ads)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oldham Chronicle (UK))
 
 
 
No roof rack for your ladder? No problem
source: oldham-chronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chronicle-Telegram)
 
 
 
The story behind the latest Facebook viral photo
source: chronicle.northcoastnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Woman who feeds bear winds up feeding bear
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
There's a place in Thailand called Vomit Temple where people pay to go and puke
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Fairfax County Police Department internal review determines that officer's use of a stun gun on a man who had his back turned was appropriate given the man's overall blackness, general blackitude, and overall blackiosity
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
When it comes to obtuse governmental paper-pushery, you'd be hard-pressed to beat...the Canadians, who are telling a 99-year-old woman who's lived in Toronto since 1933 that she can't be a citizen
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
ISIS working on getting its hands on a nuke. Thankfully there aren't any countries in the area that have that capability...yet
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
School janitor Piccolo arrested for having drugs at school. Goku inconsolable
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption this handshake
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Man jailed for beating the starch out of his buddy with an antique clothes press. Alcohol, women and being Tasmanian may have been a factor
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Once Medicaid decides that you're dead, it's very difficult to come back to life
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hero dog drags owner from path of car. *checks* Oh, into path of car. In other news, bad dog needs new home
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
In Russia, people bury a few flies in little coffins made of vegetables to bid farewell to summer
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I got Christ in my heart/You better know that's true/Be spittin' holy rhymes/While I run over you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Residents upset that one of their neighbors is being too loud all hours of the day and no one will do anything about it. Difficulty: Airport
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Welcome to Wal-Mart, where you can save a lot of money but please don't masturbate in our parking lot"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Tinder is burning mad about billboard linking them with STDs, and itching to have the issue cleared up
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Happy National Coffee Day. Lots of places are going to give you your caffeine fix for free today, so make sure you take advantage and keep your lifeblood flowing and GOD HELP YOU IF YOU BRING DECAF AGAIN JANET THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES MARKETING
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Archaeology)
 
 
 
Possible site of ancient Sodom yields provocative new finds under the artful probings of the archaeologist's thick, manly fingers... what?
source: popular-archaeology.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geeks Data)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slightly misplaced planet
source: geeksdata.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I have an ancestor that was a Confederate, so I qualify for a scholarship that promotes the 'grand' history of the Confederacy. My parents expect me to apply; I say it's racist. They say I'm too PC; do I sacrifice values for money?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Police call bombing case closed, help themselves to reward money
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After selling Lucasfilm to Disney for $4 billion, you'd think George Lucas would take it easy. Nope. He's building a half-billion dollar museum. On Hoth... er... Chicago
source: chicagoarchitecture.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Man asks judge to deport him to heaven. Yes, of course he's a sovereign citizen
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Article from 1975: The world will be out of oil by 2015
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Tanker crash spills thousands of liters of milk over highway, driver fights to hold back tears
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tropical storm Joaquin: "I'm still here." Fox news editors, not so much
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In a century, people in Wisconsin should be the tallest in the nation
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
You know, the view from this 984ft long foot bridge is breathtaking, but we could improve the experience by replacing all the wood panels with glass
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Lots of people figured out last night that smart phones are not so hot at astrophotography
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Mom charged with having sex with 12-year-old daughter's 15-year-old ex-boyfriend, including seven times in one night
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 28, 2015
(Mashable)
 
 
 
World leaders served "landfill lunch" at UN to call attention to food waste and those who suffer from hunger. The garbage was delicious
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
What do you do if a goat refuses to leave your restaurant? Call the Mounties of course
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Man knocked unconscious tells police he was attacked by a hippopotamus. Why, yes, alcohol was involved
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create your own Bat-signal
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
New ISP in town? Let us cut your rate and double your speed for you
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Popin' ain't easy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Be sure to save your NYPD stop-and-frisk receipts, because your 11th one is free
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Duck, goose, duck
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Curse of the Flying Hellfish may be what saves you from eating cat food in your old age
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Carly Fiorina defends waterboarding as a valuable management tool
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Current)
 
 
 
John Hagee: When I said the "blood moon" meant the world was going to end, I didn't mean that it was going to end last night. So keep those checks coming, folks
source: sacurrent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
911 caller: There's a monkey eating mail out of my mailbox
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman attempts to eat a police officer during arrest. Cops say alcohol may have been a factor
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It is yet to be seen if the Pope's visit spurs Americans to care more about the environment or helping the poor, but he sure as hell can sell a Fiat
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CHAOS Magazine)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy putting his best foot forward
source: chaos-mag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Zimmerman gonna zim
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Did 100,000 people really gather in Peru to show support for Kim Davis? Short answer: no. Long answer: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha no
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Football player elected homecoming queen, with most votes coming in for her stunning punt
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Is that a drill in your pants or are you just enjoying the selection?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
When in Rome, do as the Romans do. And please notice that they're not taking their clothes off and running around in the historic fountains
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Did they find a spoon, a death ray, water? NASA is about to reveal the answer to a major Mars mystery at 11:30 EDT
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Now THAT'S a rescue, dog
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Despite being beseeched not to cross the streams, NY Times has Bono and Zuckerberg write a column jointly - and it's precisely as sanctimoniously overblown as you think it is
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Global Skype outage delays banality worldwide, Greek politician willing to give Anel another try, and duck, duck, BUS: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/20 - 9/26
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Today in BAN ALL THE THINGS: sombreros
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kim Davis gets Papal blessing
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
You may not like how McDonald's put pickles on your order, but don't cause a disturbance for it
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A city full of white froth sounds almost fun... until you realize it's from the smelly, horribly polluted lake right outside of it that also catches fire once in a while. No, it's not Cleveland
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Form a Jedi Society you may, young Padawan, but free you from paying taxes it will not
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this "Neon Forms" art project
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Super blood moon fails to destroy the world
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Drill baby drill" hits a couple snags in Alaska: high cost, no oil. Shell bails, blames feds, and heads for another windmill
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Best Korea opens new $200 million Best Airport in hope of attracting Best Overseas Tourists for Best Vacation. Please bring food
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Protesters go all Snap Crackle Pop on Cereal Killer
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Alabama officials: Please don't eat cheese from the overturned truck on Highway 11." Roadkill scavenged from Highway 11 still good eatin'
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You know you've jumped the shark when you spend $152,000 to buy Fonzie's motorcycle
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The top 10 cities where you really, REALLY don't want to get sick
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
Second annual dog beard and mustache competition held in Austin (you've probably never heard of it). Your dog wants a non-GMO gluten-free skim chai latte no whip with fair-trade nutmeg
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Good guy with gun stops carjacking. By shooting victim in head, then running away like perps did
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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