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Sun September 20, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
McDonald's ignores proposed Burger King peace treaty, launches their own salvo in the burger wars
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Incontrovertible proof that Barack Obama was not born in America
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If you could meet and talk with any fictional character, who would you pick?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Your dream house/fort/apartment
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"You're more likely to get prosecuted for counterfeiting a Gucci purse than a drug"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
STOP EVERYTHING. Donut holes have gotten progressively smaller over the years. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anti-gay preacher: 0 Young bagpiper: 1
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Semi-news: Boy pulled from classroom over "disruptive" Mohawk haircut. Facepalm: Second grader. Asinine: Native American second grader
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Guy wanted for embezzling $8.7 million from Pepsi, arrested by FBI. Fark: After hiding out in plain sight along the Appalachian Trail for the past 6 years, looking like Jerry Garcia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"He said 'Are you the lost hiker?' and I said 'I suppose I am,'" recalled Sluyter. "My philosophy is I didn't feel lost, I just didn't know where I was for a little while"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Mercury in retrograde" is not causing all your problems. In fact, believing Mercury is causing all your problems is actually much more likely to be the cause of all your problems
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
To swerve and protect
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this protectorate
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Homeless guy sentenced to 6 months for littering in National Forest. Well, it was 8500 pounds of stuff he took from local community "free box" over 6 months, and it did take a team of 48 and a helicopter to clean up
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Not news: Two drivers targeted at by random fire. News: By blow dart
source: klkntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
13 year old demands to be treated like an adult. Mom says fine, that'll be $700 a month for rent and expenses, please
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Well, folks, it's happened. A North Carolina teen has been arrested and may be charged as a sex offender for having naked pictures on his cell phone...of himself
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Timmins Press)
 
 
 
Vandalism in Cochrane labelled a hate crime by OPP. Police say suspects may be naughty by nature, and hope they may come forward to say, "Yeah, you know me"
source: timminspress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Good news everyone, it has come to our attention that the world will indeed not end due to the oncoming asteroid apocalypse ... this week
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Legendary font designer Adrian Frutiger dead at 87. Univers mourns
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Man takes the D.E.N.N.I.S. system a step too far
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this power triad
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Near misses
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
George Carlin has a funny daughter
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Leslie Allen Merritt: "Dude, you got the wrong neckbeard"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
"This is not Sodom and Gomorrah. You need to enforce the laws"
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Austria saw the arrival of at least 10,000 migrants on Saturday. Crikey
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCSH 8 Portland)
 
 
 
Portland jail tells female attorneys to remove metal detector-triggering bras before seeing clients. Not surprisingly, people have a problem with this
source: wcsh6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming to you from rainy Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
So, we burned 80% of your vagina, causing incredible pain and cost you thousands in medical bills. Here's a $50 fuel voucher; we're good, right?
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 19, 2015
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Drug lord transported heroin in Apple Jacks boxes, felt using Honey Smacks would be too obvious
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
Dead crows litter streets of Spokane. Officials try to determine if it was a murder
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
"He just smashed right through the gate, hit multiple cars and went through. And I was just like, '[That's] some stuff, man'"
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this offering
source: photocdn1.itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Blogs)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Using RICO anti-racketeering laws to take down the Mob. New Hotness: Using RICO to take down Climate Change Deniers. Rupert Murdoch is OG
source: scienceblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Did you install your child's carseat yourself? Congrats; you did it wrong
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Big news day in Chattanooga. Man's dentures went missing at local hospital. Picture posted of what the missing item may look like
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Woman 'abducted' by aliens, draws constellation map of their location
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Couple are shocked, SHOCKED that the house sitter that they hired would rent out their apartment on Airbnb
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Twenty-two years after her arrest was a controversy and everyone was afraid her little black book of clients would be revealed, Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss thinks now is the time to sell said book and humiliate people who used her services
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Frenchman doesn't surrender, finishes first known transit of Northwest Passage by solo rowboat
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDBJ 7 Roanoke)
 
 
 
When transporting weed you might want to make sure your car doesn't reek of it before going through a police checkpoint
source: wdbj7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Fark: College bookstore sells inflatable female dolls. Goofy: 6 inches tall. Of course: Somebody got offended
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach race
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Frustrated parent writes a check to the local elementary school using Common Core math. Naturally no one can figure it out
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
ISIS is threatening to splinter thanks to "whiny westerners" who have joined the terror group
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Welcome to your new home. By the way, it's full of wasps and you can't get out of your lease without owing one year of rent
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
News: Three young stoners will be charged with a felony for possession of pot; face prison terms of up to five years. Fark: In Washington
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Bostonians gather to celebrate a 30th birthday.... of a gas leak
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My wife is a friend of a friend whose picture I once saw on Facebook and decided to stalk online until I could make sure we met. She thinks it was fate; I know otherwise. Should I come clean or let her believe a lie?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
India had job openings for menial office work ... and 2.3 million people applied. "This is astoundingly high number of applicants," senior government officer Rick Romero said
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Give us your sperm and earn a new iPhone 6s
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
OK, I can get wanting to marry a pizza, but WTF is a "St Louis style" pizza?
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Guy charged with embezzling. Fark: 322 head of cattle worth $456,582. Double Fark: He managed to successfully conceal them
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Inmate breaches evidence room, hides synthetic marijuana in his rectum. And yes, it did damn near kill 'im
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fly-by
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Look what the cat dragged in: Police Sergeant's Kleptokitty routinely steals things to bring home with him, such as Batman action figures, underwear and even a bag of marijuana. Yep, sounds about right for Caturday
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are 10 things every man should purge from his closet immediately. Subby still wants to cling onto his Power Rangers t-shirt and enormous cowboy belt buckle
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Remember the guy in Texas who had his truck vandalized by #BlackLivesMatter supporters because he was sporting a tribute to the cop who was shot and killed? The one who accepted over 6k in donations raised to help fix his truck? Yeah, about that
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is never take 35 Viagra... even as a "joke"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
When "get off my lawn" goes wrong. With collectable old man mug shot
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
NewsFlash
 
No longer blinded by the fright, revved-up Ducey nabs his gunner in the night
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Probably the last place you'd expect to see a rat is inside an incubator biting a premature baby that's fighting to stay alive
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 18, 2015
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Float like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly with wasp DNA
source: news.sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
A group of ex-pilots, maintainers, engineers, airline execs, and enthusiasts all fired up to put a Concorde back in the air by 2019
source: flightclub.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
You may now take a spacecraft to Cuba
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The next GoPro commercial was filmed yesterday in a Florida driveway
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Nothing stops a bad guy with a gun except a good guy with a gun. Or a funeral home worker with a phone and a burning desire to play hero
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Abnormally aggressive skunk prompts rabies quarantine after biting woman, relentlessly pursuing cat with unfortunate stripe of paint
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
What does a family get for itself when it has everything? A promise not to buy anything
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this responsible recycler
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Steakhouse fined after serving horse meat in place of zebra for mane course
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Black footed ferrets saved from extinction by artificial insemination. This implies that it was someone's job to masturbate black footed ferrets
source: throb.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Turns out Bowe Bergdahl wasn't a Taliban sympathizer, but an idiot who faked a kidnapping to get a meeting with his supervisor until he was actually kidnapped
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
Man climbs two mountains dressed as stormtrooper. Told the droids he is looking for are not there
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
NOAA: There's a 97% chance that 2015 will be the hottest year on record. But there's a 3% chance that it won't, so we can't be 100% certain it will be, right? Suck it, science
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Don't want to pay your electric bill, but have a generator? Hook that baby up inside and generate some hospital bills instead
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Remember to remove all electric items, belts, shoes...and seahorses
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Australia cracks down on the right to arm bears
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?" Driver: "Why no, officer." Seven-year-old: "Yes, you have, Mom"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Anniston police officer: I never thought I would be fired for being a neo-nazi
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
No Quiz this week, sorry
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Government orders VW to recall 500,000 cars. Holy Fark: for having installed a device which turned on the cars' emission controls only when it sensed the cars' emissions were being tested
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oscar Pistorius finds out today whether he will be granted parole and is "frail, broken, and living a nightmare". It could be worse, at least he has the bottom bunk
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We've secretly placed a murder suspect and the inmate who is going to testify against him in same holding cell. Let's see in anything happens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just a tiny little fire that's about to reach a tiny little nuclear waste dump
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If there's one thing the Christians, Jews, and Mormons can all agree on, it's that the upcoming Blood Moon will usher in the apocalypse. "The heavens are God's billboard"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Remember how the zombie apocalypse in World War Z started in China, and China hid it from the public? This is totally not like that...probably. Still, you might want to stock up on zombie repellant
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fancy restaurants with lots of different wines have a guy who helps you find the perfect wine for your palate and to match your dinner and so on. He's called a sommelier. Now we have water sommeliers. Because shut up and give me your money
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War is Boring)
 
 
 
If you think your boss is a menace when he tries to operate equipment he's not trained on, be glad he isn't the U-boat captain who sank his sub by flushing the toilet incorrectly
source: warisboring.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
The pope's famous hand sign is actually the result of St Peter having nerve damage that meant he couldn't open his hand. "Peter, the first pope, had an ulnar nerve injury and everyone copied him. Imitation is a great form of flattery"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That one time when two Supreme Court justices played violent video games to decide a case
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Houston man in the process of moving returns to his house to find someone has broken in and stolen his 15-year-old Lab and had him euthanized. Then they leave a note shaming him for letting the dog live in pain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
What, girl? Phoebe's trapped in the well?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
In a police sting operation, police capture over a dozen people in a fraud and extortion plot. Although technically, it was just one woman playing the whole cast of characters
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Today in redneck news: Drunk couple with 18 month old riding shotgun flee police on ATV across field- with expected crashy results
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
The world's worst-designed cities, because some people just don't plan things out
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Plastic bucket causes fatal car crash. Police wish to question individual seen leaving the scene; he is described as being 15 feet long, weighing 4,500lbs, and belonging to the genus Mirounga
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Just so you know, I was going to retire - until this dick escaped
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Imagining having sex with British people is scary enough, but imagining getting super gonorrhea that's resistant to drugs from having sex with them? *shudders*
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
The inside of a German WW I U-boat, the stuff of claustrophobic nightmares
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
Without peeking, can you guess the three richest states and the three poorest states in the US?
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Statistics prove that the so-called "war on police" is merely a product brought to you by the same special conservatives who dreamed up "all lives matter"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ohio band teacher forced to resign after students found out she made a little extra money on the side living out their fantasies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man in Waco tried to steal a Learjet. Things got complicated when cops issued him a Citation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
"He had been instructed to stand in goal while other children his age took easy to moderate overhead bounce shots...a camp employee fired the shot that made direct contact with his cup, shattering it and fracturing his testicle"
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
If the Pope sees his shadow, Philadelphia will spend six more weeks in Papal lockdown
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spending spree
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
They knew it wasn't a bomb all along
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
NSW Supreme Court Justice Peter Johnson presides over female genital mutilation trial. Ultra-rare Peter Johnson gynecology trifecta now in play
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Bar the doors- the 2015 Ignobel Award goes to a graduate student that concluded that the three most painful places to be stung by a bee are the penis, the upper lip, and the nostril
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Looks like the Soviets may no longer have a reason to invade Calumet. Status of the Form 4473's still unknown
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Just in case you thought the Catholic Church had learned something from all the priest molestation scandals
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"You might say... *puts on sunglasses* ...a ledged lover. YEEAAAHHHH"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
You know how great it is when you find that one special person that does things for you that makes life worth living. This isn't one of those times
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Life, uh, finds a way
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Person in tow truck steals 30-pound pumpkin when owner lets his gourd down
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 17, 2015
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Doritos wants you to taste the rainbow
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man trying to get out of a traffic ticket calls 911 while the officer was writing the citation to report a false shooting. Plan backfires
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Southern bar owner refuses service to gay couples. Why don't they just fire her?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking: No need to panic just because the wing is on fire ... *looks* OK PANIC
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump takes a question from your crazy uncle, sees eye to eye with him
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yu would flee the hotel too if someone drugged you and hacked off your penis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A gay bishop, a transgender woman and the pope walk into the White House
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GMX)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sleep disturbance
source: i0.gmx.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo News Now)
 
Weeners
 
Dr. Peter Johnson, OBGYN, has license suspended for sexual addiction after getting way too deep into his job
source: toledonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Red Bull gives you WIIINGS...and 8-10 years for kidnapping
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Russian satellites to be launched into space on board Satan
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Chicken struck by car, reasons for crossing road undetermined
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
"Can you hear me now? Hello? Is this thing on?"
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Whataburger employee learns Whataifiring is after jokingly refusing to serve two cops
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Gross AL judge wants to have special privileges to defy SCOTUS and not issue "license to commit sodomy"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guantanamo Bay prisoner has a dating profile on Match.com. Apparently he switched over after getting very little response on Terroristmingle.com
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
After a shoot-out, the uncle is dead and at the coroner, the nephew is shot and in the ICU, and the rooster is unharmed and tied to a chair
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Follow up on our earlier thread with homegrown items for your table.. how did your green thumb work out for the season? What did you make with your own gardening results? Show us the goods and what we missed out on
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
It's hard to teach a one year old to use an inhaler. Especially if it's an otter
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Good fences make good neighbors, or at least keep them from sawing your outhouse in half
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
You gotta admit, at least the "your honor, I can't be the pedophile who's flashing children because my Pennsylvania is too small to take out in public" defense is an original one
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
Pensioner blames funny smell in apartment on next door's obsession with home hygiene. Turns out to be crack cocaine
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Has the jury reached a verdict?" "Yes, your honor. We find the defendant bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
First look at the new T-X training dildo being built for the US Air Force
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this glitz & glam
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
American Airlines grounds flights nationwide to fix computer issue. Probably just discovered their Windows 95 software can't handle 3-digit baggage fees
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bar serves cocktails containing liquid nitrogen because it produces a "dramatic effect" --- specifically, causing a woman's stomach to explode
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The best part of waking up turns out not to be Meth in your coffee cup
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
"It's a good thing I have my 'smart' phone because otherwise I couldn't call you to help get me and my BMW out of this lake"
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wells Journal (UK))
 
 
 
That sinking feeling you get when a humpback whale jumps onto your kayak
source: wellsjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Protip: When attempting to shoplift from Walmart, try not to stab yourself
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mozambique declares critical shortage of landmines
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Police description of boatless woman found 3 miles offshore: "She was completely naked." "She was really far out"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
When you're slinging rocks at the window of the car next to you, you better make sure that the passenger in that car doesn't pull out their phone camera
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Stanislav, the Kremlin wants to know if the U.S. didn't really launch missiles at us or should they just go ahead and destroy the U.S.?" "Tell them yes on one, no on two." "Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy the U.S. or the other one?"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ynet)
 
 
 
"Naked Spanish clowns anger Palestinians" (Not safe for work)
source: ynetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pacifist debate in Japanese parliament turns into a brawl. Come on, even subby knows Japan isn't in the Atlantic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In South Sudan, Mad Max: Fury Road is a documentary
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Nobel director now regretting giving prize to the President with the highest drone kill count in history
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
New coup in Ouagadougou
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Cuba, come for the five star hotel, stay for the mist of the "paradise" lawn sprayed with sewage
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Munich welcomes refugees, but warns that if they start any scheiß over Oktoberfest and girls in dirndls they'll be put on the next train back to Damascus
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TWC News)
 
 
 
A plan to build dozens of six-hundred foot tall wind turbines has divided the town of Yates, NY. Half say they will cause health issues and lower house prices while the others are really big fans
source: twcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A tiny puppy survived a 30-minute cycle in a dryer after being accidentally shut in the machine by a toddler. He's softer and gentler than ever before
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Science proves it. Human stupidity is rubbing off on dogs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you really want to survive the apocalypse you need a portable Styrofoam igloo that you can wear around your body and plug up the neck hole at night with your hat
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bury Times)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're going to torch someone's van, stand a little bit further back
source: burytimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Pilot diverts a trans-Atlantic flight full of passengers for a single chili dog
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Robbers steal over $1,000 worth of lottery tickets. Police looking for suspects who are bad at math
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What happens when you eat Olive Garden pasta for 7 weeks straight?
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man with pants on head robs store. That's retarded
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Star News)
 
 
 
Attorney: "There was a language barrier." Client: "I WILL FEAST ON YOUR TESTICLES." Attorney: "The situation deteriorated." Client: "WITH A WHITE WINE SAUCE"
source: north-star-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Finally, a criminal that respects gun control laws
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, MacGyver: You're in a prison cell with only a blanket and a tube of toothpaste. How do you (almost) escape?
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stage fright
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's the difference between a small rodent and a fark handle? One's coming to town and I forget the rest but Twin Cities Fark Party. September 17th
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here is the best hair you will see in a mugshot all day
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Seven moments in the New Testament when Jesus Christ acted like a dick
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Ohio court says ballot measure to legalize weed has to be rewritten because it was like bogus and like misrepresentin and stuff
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Subby's close friend missing since September 11th, any Scottsdale farkers find her please let us know. We will pay reward money in cash or beer
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The awful life of a McDonald's franchise owner
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Climate change isn't bad news for everyone - just look how it's helping arctic mosquitoes
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Garbage men refusing to pick up trash because people are putting their trashcan wheels facing the wrong way
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 541: "Show us your Nerdiness" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 16, 2015
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
The good news is the fish in our oceans have a lot more room to swim than they did 32 years ago, the bad news is our oceans marine life has been cut to almost half since then
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Edinburgh to Geneva in just one hour by car? Sure it could be done in theory ....and with this rocket propelled car
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMTW Portland)
 
 
 
Animal shelter advertises Live Nude Dogs and Free Lap Dances
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Japanese angler reels in super-sized fish off the coast of Japan near the Fukushima plant and OMG, WTH is that?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
If you had "54" as the answer to "How many Syrian rebel soldiers can be trained by the U.S. to fight ISIS for $42 million?" claim your prize. Double or nothing offer: "How many are left after 2 months?" a) 54-50, b) 25-20, c) 4-5
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lone warrior
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Huge 8.3 magnitude earthquake in Chile just off the Santiago coast
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Chester Daily Local)
 
 
 
Two precious snowflakes were left unattended for 20 minutes a whole three blocks from home
source: dailylocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Have a concussion? Maybe it's the GMO food you are eating. Or maybe pixies and goblins
source: sciencebasedmedicine.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Obama invites suspected bomber to the White House
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Next time use Uber, dude
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man spends 6 months, and $1,500 to make a truly from scratch chicken sandwich, including growing his own wheat and vegetables, milking a cow for the cheese, boiling seawater for salt, and of course slaughtering his own chicken
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Tapeworm larvae sacs? In MY brain?" It's more likely than you think
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's edition of Totally Random Statistics - states ranked by number of deer collisions. Sucks to be you, West Virginia
source: statefarm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Remember the panda cub that died last month? Me neither. In other news, its brother is doing fine
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Only you can prevent __________
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Red Cross to GAO: So, um, hows about you guys stop this whole inquiry thingy into all that misspent money and fraudulent reporting stuff? Mkay? GAO: Hows about no
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(2paragraphs)
 
 
 
$90,000 Charles Darwin letter proves he didn't believe in the Bible. Or you could buy used copy of Origin of Species for 50 cents
source: 2paragraphs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Watertown Daily Times)
 
 
 
Deceit. Plagiarism. Intrigue. Welcome to the soft underbelly of Canadian travel journalism
source: watertowndailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Frat brothers face murder charges as hazing death is upgraded from Baruch assault; doo-pa-dee do
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
There's nothing worse than feeling a bit of splashback on the toilet, especially if it comes from the other cubicle
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
China: We own the South China Sea, because it's named after us. Mexico: Hmmm, sounds like a good plan
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In trouble? Call the police. In bad trouble? Call the SWAT team. In an office watching the SWAT team destroy their desks in a drunken chainsaw debauch? Call . . . uh, never mind, just run
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBRZ Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Don't worry *hic* Ossifer, the horse knows the way home *hic*
source: wbrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to own a city bus? How about a "luxury" one with leather seats and a built-in coffee bar? Got $5?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Dulles and Reagan National airports close to allowing Uber drivers access, now that they've figured out how to make money off of it
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British ISIS member disappointed with the manners of recent Arab immigrants
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
Newest title in the drug trade -- "ginseng trafficker"
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
"So I looked at him and he started adjusting his pants. I looked back down, started playing my Sudoku again, trying not to pay attention to him, and then when I looked back up, his penis is out and he's just staring at me"
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Analysis shows you're more likely to strike it rich with Cash Cab than you are with Uber
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Saltwater crocodile uses his tail to launch himself into a vertical leap that would put than an NBA player to shame in the scariest Vine you'll ever see
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sporting News)
 
 
 
See what some graduates from the Carl Spackler School of Lawn Care just did
source: sportingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Je ne suis pas Charlie Hebdo
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bashar al-Assad to the West: Stop hitting yourself
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Her Majesty's Royal Navy to implement 'death rays' by 2020. Dr. Evil seen laughing with glee
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Wendell Pierce, New Orleans native and veteran of "The Wire," tries to do his part to revitalize the Big Easy by opening a small food store. Whole Foods: Whoa, whoa, whoa. How are we going to gentrify the city that way? Step aside, we got this
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember the photo of the "suspect" who looked exactly like guy who was tackled by the cop in NYC? Relying on a photo supplied by the identity thieves themselves probably should have raised a red flag
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYC Mankato)
 
 
 
Man honors wife with massive erection
source: keyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Escape artist hospitalized after not thinkig his cunning stunt at a Criss Angel show in New Jersey all the way through
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
"Dude, I am living proof that you can be soooooo pumped up... too much"
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Well you'd probably purr to this cute cat lingerie
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
High school student gets hacked
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
British court sentences couple for performing sex acts on each other on a crowded train. They got off in Chelmsford
source: thisislocallondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Repo man got caught napping
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Now that Hungary has closed the border, refugees try to find any possible way to get the f*ck out of Serbia. They kill archdukes, Jeffery. ARCHDUKES
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Goldilocks and the seven bears wasn't a story but it does make a heck of a roadside attraction
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Magic Valley)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you forget your cellphone and your keys at the place you just burglarized, just let it go, man
source: magicvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Oh bother
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Muslim exorcist stabbed to death at black magic healing center. Once again, we see how the pea soup immersion method of the Catholic exorcists is superior
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you have any information on a man who insidiously asked a young girl for directions, then dangerously walked away and did not follow her, please contact the New South Wales police force. Thank you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Smile, you're on Chinese Facebook
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
"Um, yeah, San Francisco, the fact that you have more violent immigrant crime might be because you did that stupid sanctuary city crap." - Department of Homeland Security
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uintah County Herald)
 
 
 
Mom teaches son not to be an alcoholic like his dad
source: uintacountyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard Business Review)
 
 
 
Q: Why are there so many incompetent male leaders in the world? A: It's not that there's a deficit of qualified women, it's just that there's a surplus of supremely unqualified men
source: hbr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: The cool green hills of Earth
source: pageresource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
So a meth-addicted murderer avoided the death penalty by accusing another man with no criminal history of telling him to commit the murder. Today at 3 PM that man will be executed while the actual murderer serves prison time
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Australian woman gets nine-month suspended sentence for aggravated NOPE
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Porn has a big race problem... a big, thick and wide race problem (Some Not safe for work images in article)
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
RJ Reynolds ordered to stop selling four cigarette brands by the FDA after failing to meet 'safety' requirements
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Uncut)
 
 
 
Churches that fail to help the needy should lose their tax-exempt status according to some religion hating crank who calls himself "Pope Francis"
source: usuncut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Kid makes a clock to impress his engineering teacher, ends up in handcuffs because it's clearly a bomb. Being named Ahmed has nothing to do with it
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Village judge orders man arrested for writing obscenities on speeding ticket. Federal judge puts village on trial for First Amendment violation. Bonus: Prosecutor found liable for damages
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man accused of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Lord, if polygamy is wrong just send us some sort of sign
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 15, 2015
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Guy who is totally alive and not at all dead is fighting to prove his current status of existence
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
While trying to take selfie, man fires shotgun through bathroom mirror - which now reflects badly on him
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Facebook is getting a dislike button. That should de-escalate those political posts choking your feed
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
A woman who visits a botanical garden where there are notices everywhere that a rattlesnake resides on premises, decides to take off her shoes and walk in the grass. You know what happened next
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
NYC bus driver arrested for driving his bus drunk. In his defense, it was his day off
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Flight attendant arrested for fake bomb threat aboard SkyWest flight admits to staging similar hoax earlier this year, may be motivated by rage over last name he got stuck with
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lamp
source: emporiumhome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Lawyer television ads. New obnoxiousness: Lawyer text messages
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Dear students, you probably shouldn't get into that windowless panel van with those two creepers who keep showing up on campus
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Cop: Do you have any ID? Idiot: Meow
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Restaurants graded on use of antibiotics. I guess those "A" places don't care if you catch a cold from your chicken sandwich
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Official Kentucky governor debate thread. Every time Drew takes a drink, take a drink
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Police plan to announce major drug bust. So keep it on the down low. Shhh. And don't do heroin. that's part of the plan
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
How about some pictures of an ugly ass Clydesdale foal named Moose
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman who posed as man to trick friend into sleeping with her found guilty of sexual assault, because a trick with a fake dick makes you a real dick
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"Many were still functioning as sports venues, while others had been repurposed or were half-abandoned." Moscow's 1980 Olympic venues or today's mini-malls?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
I'll have a Chalupa Supreme and a glass of your finest Cabernet Sauvignon
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a Google balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Galaxy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big blue marble
source: dailygalaxy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hundreds of tourists stopped endangered sea turtles from laying their eggs by invading Costa Rica beach. FARK: So they could take selfies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
You might as well repent and kill yourselves now, DC Farkers, because Pope Francis' visit is going to turn your normally congested roadways into a days-long traffic snarl of Biblical proportions
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Houston bus crash kills one student, injures three more plus the bus driver who will probably be thrown under it again during the investigation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Jade Helm 15 is scheduled to end Tuesday. Here is a list of all the internment camps and the heroes who alerted the nation to the government's tyranny
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Gone in 660 seconds
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Please, sir. May I have more moldy bread and raw meat?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If you can't remember where you parked your car early this morning, the Broward County deputies have found it for you
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Syrian refugees headed to Baltimore. Haven't those people suffered enough?
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
One bicyclist dead and one in serious condition after they were hit by runaway... boat?
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Word Mashup Gone Wild: Kentucky pit master arrested for assaulting woman with brisket
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
I am 75-80% sure this is actually just a deleted scene from Lethal Weapon 2
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Delhi battling worst dengue fever in five years as the sound of cowbells becomes almost deafening
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(SafeBee)
 
 
 
The next time you participate in a mud run and there's mud all over you face and there's mud in your eyes and on your lips, stop for a moment and think about how that's probably not just mud
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Measles kills 400 in the Congo. Take that ebola
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals being forced by legislators to treat animals ethically
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Slow news day in NH as Moose is stuck in a cemetery
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Looks like North Korea is looking for some free food again
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman wants to draw attention to the perils of heroin addiction, so she has her kids join her for an awkward photograph featuring them smiling in front of her husband's corpse
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(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
The Humane Society would like to warn everyone not to leave dogs in hot cars because it can be fatal to adorable pooches like the one in our transport van... oh, fark
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Cave full of corpses and children's heads found in Scotland
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
You probably don't know who the highest paid public employee in your state is, but odds are good that you watch them work every single weekend
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Beauty)
 
 
 
A Fark tradition: Photoshop the new Miss America
source: thenypost.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man with bionic penis has two-week erection, alerts doctor...and everyone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Times Square painted lady saga now goes from borderline entertainment to creepy as one performer brings her two-year-old daughter along to panhandle - and she's also painted
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Well if if isn't my old friend Mr. McGreg. With a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg"
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Your dog drinking from the toilet. New ho--LY CRAP
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Apocalypse--the Mormon Version
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Smoking among humans seems to be waning, but is on the rise for crabs
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these big choppers
source: higleydentalcare.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
How much do Texans love their guns? The City of Houston just forced the Houston Zoo to take down its 'No Guns' signs from the entrance of the park
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Door policy at the Gaslamp bar in Houston: Whites get in for free. Non-whites get in for fee
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mississippi shooting details emerge, shifting debate from guns to whether or not it's a good idea to have sex with another man's girlfriend
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 14, 2015
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news for Paleo diet people: Bread is BACK on the menu
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The latest threat to children is [spins wheel of fear]...hand sanitizer. Is it 2002 again?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Navy agrees to stop 'sploding dolphins
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Shoplifter: "Won't be caught." Sanford Police: "Challenge accepted"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops say drug suspect mixed liquid cocaine with orange Kool-Aid. Most Floridians still prefer flakka due to fewer calories
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
If Strunk and White were alive today, well, they'd probably throw throw themselves off a bridge, but also, they might have approved of this guide to proper online dating grammar
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
He won the lottery, was sentenced to 5 years for fraud the next day
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Redevelopment Authority denies denying ties to mobster Whitey Bulger
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The end is nigh
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this generous giveaway
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Sierra Nevada snowpack hits 5-year low. Check that, 500-year low
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
"Man mauled by bear while walking through Funny River woods." Well that's not funny at all
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Scientists can now make THC from yeast. Still no cure for... wait, what?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
It turns out the FAA warned Boeing and GE about the flaw that caused a 777 to explode in Las Vegas -- four years ago
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Vaporized: National Park Service bans e-cigarettes from all government-owned parks because they emit noxious nicotine gases. Guess they haven't smelled Old Faithful lately
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Rapists/drug dealers ARE sneaking into the US. FARK: from Canada
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Humans may accidentally send aliens a computer virus, and it won't even take Jeff Goldblum and a PowerBook
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
You're not just imagining it: airplane seats are getting smaller. And Leon's getting larger
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this squatter
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Schwarzenegger to reinvent Terminator franchise next year
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
And God said, Thou shalt not sag
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Voodoo priest Max Beauvoir has died in Haiti. He'll be back
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Blind social media sharing is plaguing this country like feline AIDS at an animal shelter." ~ Barack Obama
source: postgradproblems.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Two deputies fired after it was learned they were frequent customers of a prostitute who shot one of their fellow deputies
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Want to see a UFO crash site in Antarctica? It's on Google Maps, right next to the partially buried column of dragon vertebrae that no-one seems to want to talk about
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Wichita school district to make the lives of people holding the second most-demeaning job worse: by making them simultaneously hold the most-demeaning job
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oh shi... Klaatu Barada N... Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Fear the Walking Dead is just like Battlestar Galactica, which I guess means we now know who caused the zombie apocalypse: God
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
It is never wise to threaten gas station employees, especially the security guard there. In other news, there are security guards at gas stations
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(WIVB)
 
 
 
If you're a bit of a travel monkey, you're now going to need enhanced drivers license or passport in 2016
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
NewsFlash
 
Here we go again: Active shooter alert on ______ campus, ___ person(s) confirmed dead, shooter (on the loose/captured): Delta State University, 2, on the loose
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
FARK ready headline typo: "Kate Middleton shows off new hairstyle in rare pubic appearance"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Folks spazz out over Lego's proposed new character
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Virginia rocked by another earthquake. WE WILL REBUILD
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man crashes into van, then decides to shoot and kill the crash victim
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Uber driver calls cops to report two men were kissing in the back of his vehicle
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Drive thru pot shops worry some in Detroit, thrill fast food operators
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(Houston Press)
 
 
 
"As you know, because of patient privacy, I am unable to provide comment," said a hospital spokeswoman when asked why a Texas gynecologist called police after learning one of his patients was an illegal immigrant to have her arrested
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(Slate)
 
 
 
How did the internet get overtaken by the schmaltzy, self-indulgent, tragic personal essay?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
In the 1990s, the NYPD used statistics to fight crime. Now, they're using statistics to eliminate the homeless population
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Coming to an office near you: ID badges that track your movement and have a mic to see how often you participate in meetings
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Skinny girl makes a handsome living (and paid her way through college) by letting large girls sit on her
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Teen shoots himself with handgun in the leg. FARK: For the second time in three months
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
People who study the effects of diet pop on the body don't drink it. Let that sink in for a bit
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Saudis use American weapons to kill Yemenis, causing the Yemenis to hate America because of Saudis. ♫It's the ciiiiiiiiircle of haaaaaaaate♫
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(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this clash of the taxi titans
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Odie humanity, wrecka mecca crane, and why we can't have gneiss things: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/6 - 9/12
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Australian government continues to be a farkin' joke
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Most Chicago headline possible: "Ex-Chicago cop charged with threatening investigators looking into death of officer"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Let's see...where in Germany could we find a whole bunch of empty buildings that were originally designed for a bunch of displaced people to sleep in?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Lad Bible)
 
 
 
Introducing the newest scourge to your heart: the Bacon Pizzarito
source: theladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
This is just like Spring Break at Daytona Beach. Except instead of spring, it's fall. And instead of Daytona Beach, it's a beach in Northwest Alaska. And instead of 35,000 frat boys it's 35,000 walruses
source: