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Sun August 16, 2015
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Spanish woman takes a picture of police car parked in a handicapped spot and posts it to social media with the caption "park where you want, you won't get fined". Police promptly fine her $900 for "impugning their honor"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quad sunset
source: sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
How do you de-oil a polar bear? Very carefully
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Spice use plagues Anchorage. I blame the Fremen
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Farmer's Almanac predicts a long, cold winter for the United States this year. Better bundle up now
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Protip: If you are going to start a fight in a Chuck E. Cheese, it's probably best not to leave your picture behind in the photo booth
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
You can buy this British castle for the price of a council flat, but yeah, there's a catch
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Discarded celebrity waxworks find new lives in Ohio's BibleWalk museum. Come for John Travolta as King Solomon, make a run for the exit when you get to Tom Cruise as Jesus. Special Fark Bonus: museum director's hairdo
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
To the moon Alice, to the moon
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(xoJane)
 
 
 
"No one stared at my breasts. No one grabbed my ass. No one licked their lips, called my baby, told me to smile, to fix my hair, be better, look prettier, or to come home with them"
source: xojane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You had ONE job
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spitter
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is there anything more terrifying than being chased by a koala that only wants a hug? (pics, video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Listen to the recording that proves MH17 was destroyed by the CIA - at least according to the Russians
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"I don't care who you are. That sign is funny"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"While there's no doubt Tinder has contributed to today's throwaway dating culture, it can't solely be blamed for it. The fact that twentysomething men want to sleep around is hardly Tinder's fault"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Inked Guy)
 
 
 
"Parents are being warned to be vigilant for children and teenagers visiting rogue tattooists and buying kits over the internet as part of a celebrity-fueled craze for 'inking'"
source: local.gov.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
"I can understand that it can happen anywhere, but it seems to happen a lot at Walmart. It needs to stop." Good luck with that
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
On this day in 1977, Elvis left the building forever ... or did he? [dramatic music stinger]
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this smoky surprise-attack
source: cdn3.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVNZ (New Zealand))
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Public Nudity
source: tvnz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
In response to US-South Korea military exercises, North Korea threatens to bomb the hell out of the ocean a few miles off their own coast
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Near-naked women angering tourists with their near-nakedness (Not safe for work)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
"First. Safest. Best." is the motto of the paramilitary group whose instructor was critically injured by shrapnel from an exploding target
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Indonesian plane goes missing with 54 people on board. CNN placed on red alert, all leaves cancelled, all employees ordered to report for duty immediately
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"I'm sorry, are you finding the 20,000 ton pile of putrid, rat-infested industrial and domestic waste that spontaneously combusts on a weekly basis a problem?"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
Civil Rights legend Julian Bond has died
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Pot is once again at the center of yet more senseless violence
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If the ape at the zoo calmly tells you to mind your own business, don't say you weren't warned
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sacred Artichoke)
 
 
 
Our host is feeling a bit under the weather so he won't be in the studio tonight. Instead here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from May 26, 2012 for you to listen to
source: sacredartichoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Ceiling cat. New hotness: Cat door bear
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 15, 2015
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Man in critical condition after fall from high-rise apartment building in Chicago. If only there were a device which could slow a fall... oh, yeah, he was already wearing a parachute
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for using stolen credit card info to buy a bird. Police consider them a flight risk
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Ferguson police officer describes spending his "Michael Brown bonus," surprised to find people have a problem with this
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
China denies it made a nearly identical copy of Chicago's "Bean" sculpture, claiming that the original version reflects the sky, while theirs reflects the ground
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Protip: Always look for the small print that says there are hundreds of dead Spanish influenza victims buried there when buying property
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radikal Foto)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unsupported cyclist
source: s019.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oh yeah? I use a fork
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Alligator hunting season begins in Fark's favorite state today; stories about idiots getting attacked by gators also begins today
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asia Times)
 
 
 
Spoiled fat Asian kid threatens to bust up neighbor's house over loud stereo and he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, means it this time
source: atimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
East coast ATC servers starting Windows 10 upgrade
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Bill Gates' poop water machine gets a test run". Difficulty: CNN
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bailout will keep Greece afloat. For now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Tour guides outraged that Savannah, GA requires them to pass a history test, say it interferes with their ability to show visitors where Elvis and Abe Lincoln signed the Magna Carta
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Danville Parks and Recreation would like to remind you: If you are taking your five foot boa constructor for a swim, please have it on a leash. Thank You
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
One of the last remaining unique bits of '70s New York City to become yet another chain drug store, or coffee shop, or whatever. Yeah, cultural homogenization
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this relaxation time
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment.ie)
 
 
 
Not News: Airport security confiscates a gun, claiming it poses a security risk. News: From a toddler. Fark: It was a toy 'Minion Fart Gun'
source: entertainment.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News (Poland))
 
 
 
They just don't make criminals like they used to
source: thenews.pl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man avoids prison in online extortion scheme because none of his victims were willing to admit under oath to sending naked pictures to a "13-year-old girl"
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Secret Service is hiring 1,100 new staff members. Their hiring standards are perfect for anyone with a high school diploma and out-of-control libido
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"A man previously dubbed the 'world's most annoying husband' has been kicked out by his long-suffering wife after he tattooed a gigantic penis on his own leg"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Mr. Trump, we don't allow helicopters at the Iowa State Fair." "No problem. We'll just park it across from your fair and give free rides to the kiddies"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
The definitive ranking of supermarkets from worst to best. Where does your favorite land on the list? (deslided)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"But it is my service animal"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
August 14th, 2015: Elizabeth Hasselbeck begins preemptively waging The War on The War on Christmas. Thanks, Fox News
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Investigation finds you're better off having a drunken guy who poops on the beverage cart on your flight than a federal air marshal
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
4th Annual Orange County Fark Party, August 15th, 8pm
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
9th Circuit rules that there was no need to make a Federal case out of this
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
City Attorney: "Police chief's heartfelt apology for defaming innocent citizen was not intended to be a factual statement"
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Flamethrowers were gruesome weapons of war and so controversial that the U.S. military stopped using them after Vietnam. But as crazy as it may sound, they are available for sale to the public
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Two CHP officers, one former CHP officer, a criminal defense attorney and former DA candidate, and a liquor store owner and his brothers are arrested and charged in the murder of a man that is sure to make for a great episode of Law and Order
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rapt girl under a rainbow
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Firefighter catches a baby dropped from the 3rd floor of a burning apartment building and continues fighting the fire despite losing his own home in the blaze
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
DUDE. Best. Reviewer. Job. EVER
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Welcome to Hearts that Purr, a 'retirement' home for homeless cats that are left behind when their people become terminally ill or have died. It's nice to have a home on Caturday
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
News: Regatta draws thousands of people each year to the Todd River in Australia. Fark: the river has no water
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC actually has a secret topless beach. Well, not any longer (sfw)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tianjin 2: Re-Explosive Boogaloo
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Finally, what the world really needed - a chemistry set that hasn't had all the cool shiat nannied out of it
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Yosemite still most majestic, most plague-infested American park
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Houston)
 
 
 
Everything's bigger in Texas, including the chemical warehouse fires
source: myfoxhouston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 14, 2015
(CBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Crazy cat lady. New hotness: Crazy crocodile dude
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Like so many other defenses, when you defend your actions with "I'm not interested in having books banned..." it means that yes, you are in fact *very* interested in having books banned
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's all the things you like about Friday: payday, end of the week, and seeing how many Fark stories you can remember. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Osama Bin Laden 2.0 chimes in that he'd like to see the al-Qaeda group start paying more attention to Western cities instead of the Middle East for their new bombing campaign
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
This video tour of a $1,100 100-foot apartment in New York will make you cry tears of blood
source: villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
American military has quietly begun training for all-out invasion of Mt. Midoriyama
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The world's oldest living cat has seen into the center of you and finds it lacking
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Casket remains taken, casket remains
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the cutest underwater organism you've ever seen
source: cdn1.lockerdome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"OnStar, is everything OK?" "NO, HELP"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
And yet ANOTHER study proves that "low-carb" diets are bullshiat, and that the only real way to lose weight is -- get this -- to eat less. And, you know, exercise
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Company running auto tag renewal scam. Still preferable to going to the DMV
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Deputy Police Chief fired after being outed by the FBI as a member of the local chapter of the KKK, so of course the local school board hires him to be a school resource office
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slothed)
 
 
 
Man uses an injection to go from white to...well, not white...in five months
source: slothed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Today's life lesson: "You don't just open a manhole cover like that and jump right in"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
There's a man in a bear suit who's been harassing bears feeding on salmon in Alaska. Authorities would like to talk to him, but admit it's probably going to be a self-correcting problem in the end
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CareerBuilder)
 
 
 
Jobs website shares top resume blunders, including: Listing fluency in Pig Latin; linking to a porn site; having an email address with username "2poopy4mypants"
source: advice.careerbuilder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oscar Pistorius is expected to be fitted with an electronic tag upon his release from prison next week. It was either that or a cattle grid outside his house
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man caught with fake poker chips tries to win with a flush
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this badass bird
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Hundreds of drivers to get parking fines cancelled "because their ticket fell over"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TooFab)
 
 
 
Sharon Stone: I am brain damaged, naked (not safe for work)
source: toofab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Rent is getting so high that millennials are being forced to buy their homes
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
A bar brawl broke out at fundraiser for funeral of Saskatoon man killed trying to stop bar brawl
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cape Cod beach closed after shark spits seal out on beach. If the water makes the seals taste that bad, you shouldn't be swimming in it
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How to make your own trail mix, because you're a complete idiot who can't mix peanuts with raisins without instructions written on the bottom of your stupid Birkenstocks
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
"Looking for extra large dryer sheets," Freimuth responded, according to police
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Parked your BMW in a handicapped space? Wanker
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1011 Now Lincoln)
 
 
 
That new credit card they're sending you? It's going to make tipping a little awkward
source: 1011now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cambridge News)
 
 
 
How Alfred Hitchcock helped Cambridge scientists prove older people are more easily distracted
source: cambridge-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
"We interrupt this live news report... for a robbery in progress"
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Here's to you, father of the year, who not only brought his 16-year-old daughter to the strip club, but got her to bring along her 17-year-old friend and then got them both to dance on stage
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Car tries to cut in line at Wendy's drive-thru. That's when the guns came out
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: How do I tell my brother--who lost a testicle in an accident--to stop hitting me in the balls because he's jealous I still have both of my nuts?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So, ISIS in Iraq may be using mustard gas but intelligence can't be sure. It might be another condiment
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Cybergroup admits to hacking into University of Miami mail servers, no doubt to determine why it is everyone buys bleach when a hurricane threatens landfall
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
A manager in France who was paid $5,500 a month to sit at home and do nothing for 12 years now wants compensation from his bosses. "I could have had a wonderful career"
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There is no better military training for protecting yourself from lightning bolts than being hit by said lightning bolts
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry robot somewhere appropriate
source: s00.yaplakal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Facebook rewards Harvard intern who exposed serious security flaw in its Messenger app by rescinding his internship because his actions didn't meet their "high ethical standards"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Remember kids: Slow down and follow speed limits while entering school zones. Especially if you have a meth lab in the trunk
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Charged with possession of a straw for his soda, the defendant pled "not guilty." Judge Ackbar: "Bail is set at $1500"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bowling For Rhinos. Transit Lanes, Williamsville, New York. August 14th, 6pm. Did I mention a Corvette will be raffled off*?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FDA approves Oxycontin for children as young as 11, hope to soon have it out in Flintstones chewables form
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Wineries. New hothess: Weederies
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck says Seattle is one of his top 15 cities to avoid like the plague, which is why he hasn't been back since he took a young lady there in 1990
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you ever drop your cellphone at an Ohio amusement park, let it go, because man, it's gone
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
What I mean is, you don't seem to be a very good bank robber, maybe you should try something else
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Family of 8-year-old girl sued because the crows she has been feeding are murder on the neighbors' million-dollar houses
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Colorado's monthly recreational cannabis sales topped $50 million for the first time ever in June, because have you ever gone camping on weed? It's totally awesome
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man cuts wife's lover's penis off with garden shears, says she had been bugging him to do some bush trimming lately
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
So if someone died vomiting and bleeding in your bed would you just flip over the mattress? Because that's what they did at a Days Inn in Tampa
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
Colorado Springs woman arrested for "serial bear feeding," which sounds silly if you aren't one of her neighbors dodging the six bears who won't go away now
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 13, 2015
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
You mean there's other things you can do with peanut butter and a dog?
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not wanting Japan to steal all the truly weird fast food ideas, KFC announces a "rose cheese chicken leg roasted burger" in China, where it will compete against duck heads and flying lizard on a stick street foods
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK party police in Ibiza are only working during the daylight hours, which is totally ridiculous, or completely hard-core when you think about it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Commercial)
 
 
 
Headline: Driver blames crash on dog, wants it arrested
source: dailycommercial.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
So, remember in movies where the hero outruns the cops, drives into a parking garage, then jumps his car off the garage and drives away. It was like that. Without the drive away part
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Navajo refuse to sign peace treaty with EPA, say they're not falling for THAT one again
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Go to the upcoming Go Topless Day, you never know if you'll get beamed up by sexy extraterrestrials who will force you to join the Raëlian Movement
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Education Week)
 
 
 
Two month suspension from school for a private tweet? Actually, yeah
source: blogs.edweek.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
11 year old gives birth to girl in Paraguay, meanwhile you have 37 unchecked voicemails from your mother wondering when you're going to give her grandkids
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In response to continuing economic sanctions, Russia further sanctions its own economy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man would like to tell authorities how he ended up drunk and naked in a post office lobby, but he can't. It must have been quite an evening
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these well-equipped beachgoers
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
From the "Be Careful What You Wish For" file: Drought-stricken West Coast eagerly anticipating El Niño storms
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Hot grits with a side order of bat, coming right up
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Estate sale auctioneer discovers boxes of decades-old dynamite in shed, perfect for next episode of Storage Wars
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Are you a blond-haired guy who's not getting a lot of dates? Here comes the science
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Transformer explodes. Autobots, roll out
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Argus (UK))
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're selling a stolen car with a load of stolen laptops in the back, try not to sell it to a police officer
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Turns out bakeries are businesses, cakes aren't art, and you have to serve gay people in Colorado
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman crashes stolen car, jumps 70 feet off bridge, swims ashore, hitchhikes to safety. Um... ta-dah?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The location for Fallout 5 has been decided
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Police save a groundhog that had its head stuck in a tin can, predicting six more weeks of stupid animal behavior
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Legislator who works at farm accused of animal abuse introduced a bill making it illegal to report animal abuse
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIAT Birmingham)
 
 
 
Things you can expect to find in a Southern Church.... Bibles, a Gospel choir, and a shooting range. Wait, what?
source: wiat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyRecipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What's your favorite all-in-one dish to serve up for family and friends? Difficulty: beer may be part of a recipe but cannot be the entire answer
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(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Man caught trying to shoot up heroin in laundromat bathroom. When you see his mugshot you'll realize what the flap's about
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Watching men kill bulls doesn't do kids any harm apparently. Grown men in lycra on the other hand, now THAT'S another story
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Vegetarian panther baffles Italian park, pretty much every other panther in existence
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this subway spectator
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(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Sabrina the Teenage Witch is sharing her taco with all of Philadelphia today
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
"By the way, do you want to hear about the night I fired Donald Trump?"
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan teen busted for stealing fake Confederate money. Let us count the ways you're doing it wrong
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
It's Left-handers day so lefties, raise your hands with joy. Righties, round up the abominations and take then to the nearest reeducation camp
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Here's a look inside the network that runs the world
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The zoo's keepers had not realized the mother had given birth to first twin aye-ayes born in captivity until they found the pair on her ta-tas
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Libsyn)
 
 
 
How the media plays you like a fiddle, Pink Floyd parking at a Salvation Army soup kitchen, and the exhausting politics of constant outrage: it's the Farkcast
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(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Woman dines at a restaurant known for throwing rolls at customers, promptly files a lawsuit after being hit by a thrown roll
source: blogs.riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Oh, not too much. Took a bunch of LSD, got into a domestic dispute, took off all my clothes, was involved in a high speed chase, crashed through a fence and ran into two cop cars. How was YOUR Wednesday?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Former army private and "Wikileaks" leaker Chelsea Manning faces time in solitary confinement after being caught with "contraband" in Leavenworth prison cell. The offending item? A copy of "Vanity Fair" with Caitlyn Jenner on the cover
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Special armed squad of British police officers called out to deal with major incident involving two neighbours and a "smelly" wheelie bin
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dozens of men found in boat just off Greek island of Lesbos. Lesbos typically good at finding the man in the canoe
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Post Bulletin)
 
 
 
Woman rides a limo to go: a) to a school dance; b) to an awards ceremony; or c) shoplifting
source: postbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"If you've ever doubted that 2015 is the best time to be alive in human history to date, take a look at this chart"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popdust)
 
 
 
The most wrong sex toy ever invented has been shipped and is now arriving at sex shops. No, just...no (Not safe for work, sanity)
source: popdust.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
"To fix the US prison system, give every inmate the daily newspaper"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
'Liking' your ex's Facebook picture? That's a contempt of court charge
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Chipotle menu hack scores you a nearly 32-ounce burrito at the same price as the already massive 17-ounce burrito. Local hospitals respond with "Two Coronary Bypasses for the Price of One" special
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese woman gets pregnant 14 times in 10 years to avoid jail sentence. Bonus: It worked
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Police investigate first 'cyber-flashing' incident, in which an unexpected penis appeared on a woman's iPhone. Please, people, make sure your WIE are requested
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida woman to extend vacation in Alaska so she can try to find her lost cat
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
It's never good when an F/A-18 pilot has to eject when his plane is still on the carrier's flight deck
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Shooting death of Mr. Big to be investigated by The Man. Starsky, Coffy, Shaft, and Undercover Brother are on the case
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman gets free cake and parade for being store's 10,000th shoplifter
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Some drunk people never grow out of having risky adolescent blunder sex
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFDM Port Arthur)
 
 
 
Ways to tempt fate #63: Asking an officer "Are you going to tase me?"
source: kfdm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dude, humans should not be assisting robots who want to have babies. You have no idea what this can lead to
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Bad: swimming at the beach and being bitten by a dog. Worse: dog bite is in the groin. Fark: Man discovers the hard way that a penis can be "de-gloved"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Turkish hotel staff: Was it wrong that we staged a fake Tunisia-styled terror attack on British holiday guests? Should we not have done that?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Man bored with just being a mere human, becomes a goat
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Just how long has Julian Assange been hiding at the Ecuadorian embassy in London? Long enough to drop the sexual assault charges against him, because the statute of limitations has expired
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Most people on death row want to live, but one prisoner wanted to die so badly he convinced authorities to help him
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Lee Harvey Oswald's gravestone returned to Texas, will be placed back...and to the left
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Malaysia news agency: MH370 is 'intact on the ocean floor'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seattle passes new "violence" tax on guns and ammunition. Because the last thing you want is people walking around heavily armed right after drinking three double espressos
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK barn blaze kills 70 baby turkeys before they can get their first helicopter ride
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(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Animas River area residents are expected to have a whole lotta fun for years to come as they bathe and eat fish exposed to lead, copper, cadmium, and arsenic. "They're a problem because they're long-term poisons"
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these happy woodland creatures
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Batman arrested for urinating on town and other misdemeanors
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man gives his brother the Big Mac Attack for eating all of them
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Buffalo hospital prepares for baby boom nine months after storm. Officials say they hadn't seen this many Buffalo residents farked since Scott Norwood's final kick in Super Bowl XXV
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(China.org)
 
 
 
Chinese "experts" aren't saying there was a bunch of cyanide involved in in the massive Tianjin blast, but there was probably a bunch of cyanide involved in the massive Tianjin blast
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington Post columnist wants to know: What's the biggest boner you pulled at work that didn't get you fired?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Remember those Ferguson protestors who kicked a guy's car and called in his license plate after he drove through their freeway blockade? County police rewarded them for their efforts with multiple felony charges and a trip to jail
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(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle police catch 11-year-old boy joyriding in stolen Subaru Impreza. Legal counsel for the boy says this was impossible, because no one has ever enjoyed riding in a Subaru Impreza
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(Patheos)
 
 
 
Man creates Facebook account pretending he's Target, and responds to customer complaints about gender neutrality. Hilarity ensues
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Experienced scuba diver drowns while vacuuming her pool
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently Kim Jong Un is like the Teddy Roosevelt of North Korea, that is if Teddy had had anti- aircraft guns to execute anyone, including his vice president, who questioned his forestry policies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Here are nine animals that enjoy fapping as much as you do, you perv (possibly not safe for work)
source: throb.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
"But it's not just any pink bunny statue"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Minneapolis concert brings down the house. Literally
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The president of the Detroit Federation of Teachers has been expelled
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gateway Pundit)
 
 
 
About that toxic water release in Colorado last week, turns out a geologist told us a week before it happened that the EPA would let it dump so they could fast track the mine to Superfund status
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(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 536: "Tabletop Gaming" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 12, 2015
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Gas prices are going down you say? Time for a little "unscheduled maintenance" at the refinery
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Finally, the beer of champions
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Researchers claim Tasmanian devils could be solution to Australia's feral cat problem. GRRACKTHBPPPUTHAW
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Miss Pennsylvania wins the talent competition by faking cancer
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
"The sign says we're going the wrong way." "Oh, that sign's drunk. How would it know where we're going?"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Flinders University survey finds almost one in five women are interested in a labiaplasty. Stupid Flinders
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Who you gonna call? Ghost Bunglers
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Design a mascot for Fark U
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Recommended For You: Beer-drinking Hobo Squirrels Away Large Brass Spheres
source: open.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Former President Jimmy Carter discloses he has cancer that has spread to different parts of his body. No word on prognosis
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You might be able to sneak a meal or a drink on a company credit card without being caught but they are probably gonna notice $476k for online strippers
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Presented without comment: Someone who wants to be president just tweeted the phrase "Tell us in 3 emojis or less"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Brisket theft is serious business in Texas
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Welcome to Alcoholic Architecture, the bar where you get drunk without drinking a sip. "It's ingested through the lungs and eyeballs." Be sure and wear a raincoat, unless you want your clothes and hair to reek like booze when you head home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson News Now)
 
 
 
Thor hates rainbows
source: tucsonnewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Colorado draws the line on marijuana candy. No word on the pot-flavored Doritos
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rock in the water
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Some golfers have a handicap. Others have wolves
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Guy steals a pickup truck from a car dealership and beats up a 74-year-old man, all in less than 26 minutes
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man with zipper down to cops: 'There is no doubt that I am impaired'. But wait There's more
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops: Shoplifter hid ribeye steaks in his colostomy bag. The marinating craze is now officially out of hand
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Native American tribes continue to win back this country from the illegal immigrants first by casino, and now by weed
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman spends 10 years photographing the homeless - then she discovers her dad is among them
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
French McDonald's apologizes for ban on feeding homeless, says everyone should have the right to eat nasty American food
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently, some people still use "LOL," and those people kick Pomeranians to death
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
There was just a big-ass explosion in a major Chinese port city. W/ video
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MotorTorque)
 
 
 
News: Elderly man drives his car into a lake. Fark: Sits and smokes pipe while waiting to be rescued
source: motortorque.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Most dogs want a steak, these dogs wanted cupcakes so badly they ended up causing a stove fire
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
French malaria victim outraged after government bills him €87,000 for medical flight and treatment, claims he never set foot anywhere near America
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man arrested for shoplifting own colostomy bag
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Drunkenly accusing your wife of an affair with a firefighter, punching her in the eye after knocking her out, and THEN refusing to answer the SWAT team's knock on your door is no way to go through life, officer. Bonus: wife is a cop, too
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
"This is the best Vine of a cat being surprised by a cucumber you will see today." What, there are more of them?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
White drug dealer shows solidarity with Ferguson protesters by punching out random cop near Boston
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Science teacher drops 60 lbs. eating only McDonald's, but wait until you hear how he beat cocaine
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Here's what happens when cows hear music for the first time
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Man shouts racial slurs and pulls knife on teens -- so they swipe his Confederate flag. Grumpy Cat nods in approval
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Two weeks after inheriting the puppet I started to have really bad headaches and feeling dizzy, which I never thought could be the puppet trying to strangle me at night" (pics)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
5 GAO employees -- 1 a school board member -- caught lying about incomes in order to get reduced-priced school lunches for their kids. Come for that outrage, stay for the outrage over how much in taxes this program costs for just 5 people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
So, officer, you killed a black teenager who broke into a car dealership and vandalized cars? Reasonable and necessary use of force. Oh, wait, he was a college football player? You're fired
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Seven of the 25 worst-paying cities for high school teachers are in North Carolina. Residents would be outraged if they could read this
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Beer evolved to be delicious: "Lager yeasts did not just originate once. This unlikely marriage between two species, genetically as different from one another as humans and birds, happened at least twice"
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Planet Fark
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainsborough Standard)
 
 
 
Landlord shocked to find tenant keeping 50-stone pig in living room. That's 700 pounds of pork, people
source: gainsboroughstandard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
You're not allowed to play golf naked on Cape Cod
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So, the Oath Keepers are in Ferguson. But more importantly, doesn't the 2nd image in this article make one think of an oft referenced Mel Brooks movie?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A German jihadi has claimed he only joined ISIS due to the 'humiliation' of having his wedding called off - adding that he would have joined the Hell's Angels instead if he'd have been able to"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Former cruise ship photographer reveals hilarious outtakes from his days at sea featuring miserable families, bizarre props and gaudy outfits
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Abducted baboon rescued, returned to zoo in Macedonia. No word if it ran off with a weasel while it was away
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ashes of famed novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez to be exhibited in Cartagena. No sneezing please
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Families on their holidays at a popular beach in England are at risk of being covered in slime and sewage. A huge hole has opened on the beach and it is erupting like a volcano and sending showers of snails flying everywhere" (pic)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A shortage of salad shrimp from the Atlantic Ocean has one Alaskan fish processor hoping to be more than just a prawn in the game of life
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orb in transit
source: laboiteverte.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
LA approves new transportation plan that'll make traffic worse for everyone but bicyclists
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Newly discovered recording shows Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech was first delivered in a North Carolina high school gym. Of course, at that time, his dream was to get the hell out of a North Carolina high school gym
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Just when you thought it wasn't possible, some DMV employees made driving tests for some even easier
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Vanity Fair writer swipes left. Naturally, Tinder gets on Twitter and reacts like a rejected, crazy, stalker
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
When Greenpeace likens Shell's operation to the "Keystone Cops", and even an ex-BP boss calls drilling the fragile Arctic "risky", what can possibly go wrong?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Judge punishes couple intent on joining ISIS by making them stay in Mississippi
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drunk college student, looking for an extension on his paper, emails his professor, tells him he loves him, is "sorry that u r bald" and offers to hook him up with a girl. Fark: He gets the extension
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
What says 'Happy Anniversary' better than a giant 16 pound cake?
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Father accused of killing his son tries to explain himself: "Thou shall honor your mother and father or your days are short"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The amount of time women spend on doing their hair and faces so they look professional before going into work is now known as the Makeup Tax. "This tax is one that men don't have to worry about, and is essentially another form of pay inequality"
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This spoiled son of a gun wanted a newer Ferrari model, so he sets his current one on fire in order to obtain it
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, so the police may post spiteful pictures of the homeless in Operation: Flickr Shame
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman shocked Instagram proves she is not a special snowflake
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
More and more college students are using "trigger warnings" as an excuse to avoid having to discuss opinions they don't care to debate because it would shatter their worldview
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(SacBee)
 
 
 
Once again, California shows the rest of the country how it's done; it bans grand juries in police use-of-force cases
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
When it comes to fighting the drought, the LA Reservoir has a lot of balls
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The states where it's hardest to find work. Well, the states besides Inebriated, Emotionally Unstable, and Flighty
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As more states are legalizing pot, sheriff's departments across the country are requesting tanks to combat it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 11, 2015
(Salon)
 
 
 
Having an argument with a family member about whether the U.S. Civil War was fought over slavery? Let's ask Col. Ty Seidule, Head of the Department of History at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point
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(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Georgia renames Confederate holidays to innocuous "state holiday"
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
If you suffer from foot orgasm syndrome, step forward
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(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Brace yourself: What lions need is a good dental plan
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(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this toss
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(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
$50m cement zit being inflated on Auckland's waterfront has locals wanting to pop it
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Al-Qaeda's Syria affiliate reluctantly cooperates with the US, proving that the enemy of your enemy may not be your friend, but sometimes they'll at least get out of the way so you can blow up other people
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(Mashable)
 
 
 
Calais man gets stranded aliens to phone home
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(Newser)
 
 
 
It's like yelling "James Holmes" in a crowded theater
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Yea, though I walk into the prison of Hell, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy blunt and thy roach they comfort me
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(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
In Maine, the war on drugs could become a war on drugs. In other news, Maine has drugs
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
When you go fishing you should have some idea of the rules, so you'll at least stay within a hundred or so of the limit
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create a poster for a National Holiday that does not exist (but should)
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(Pravda)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin reportedly concerned about Ukrainian militarization of raccoons
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Apparently wearing a Fitbit heart rate monitor during sex will get you a bunch of highs and lows with an occasional *Zoing* on the chart
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Libsyn)
 
Audio
 
Drew discusses the disadvantages of ass heroin, the fine art of tailgunning (unrelated), and how to bring down San Francisco, one meth-head at a time. It's the Farkcast
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fragments from a Russian missile found at MH17 crash site, conclusively proving that the plane was shot down by an Ukrainian ground attack bomber
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
Chinese residents in the city of Sichuan forced to pick between the outside air and the toxic ammonia liquid leaking from a chemical fertiliser plant
source: shanghaiist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
This is the Netherlands. We speak Netherlandese here. Learn it or go home
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Father wins the right to carry a pistol into his daughter's elementary school, allowing him to finally protect himself against the roving packs of feral second graders
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(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Australian editorialist believes sharks are waging a war against humanity
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Craigslist)
 
 
 
Never used streetcar. Cheap
source: cincinnati.craigslist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Up to two inches of rain possible for much of east coast, then skies should clea...OMG IS THAT A PENIS?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Will history repeat itself, resulting in National Guard response? Will more cops get shot as protesters continue to push their limitations and try to take out vengeance on all uniformed persons? It's your official Ferguson Chaos Thread, Day Five
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(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
If you're wondering why your shipment of Bud Light is all over I-75, you can blame Spuds Mackenzie
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
August 15th is "Clear the Shelters" day, when animal shelters will waive their adoption fee. EVERYBODY PUPPY
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. The Oath Keepers have arrived in Ferguson. We're all good now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
There was a time when pigs and other animals were tried in court and then fried
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hickory Daily Record)
 
 
 
"Can't sleep, ax-wielding clown will get me, can't sleep, ax-wielding clown will get me"
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(NC State University)
 
 
 
RIP - the Suth'n accent
source: news.ncsu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Dutch boy steals Pompeii relic to pay for iPhone"
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(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Chris Rock can kill you over the internet
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The problem isn't so much that we have department of pre-crime, it's that the department of pre-crime is run by the TSA
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I decided to use a background check website to look up my boyfriend; I knew about the domestic violence, but I discovered an alias. Do I look up that alias too, or should I let bygones be bygones and continue to worry?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fruit in the field
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese artist creates 'stairway to heaven' fireworks display
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you use pesticides, you might be stopping spiders from playing you the song of their people
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
You may have hit rock bottom the day you need to be rescued after getting stuck in the chute of a charity clothing donation box
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Has the lost colony of Roanoke Island been found?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The paper lobby is pressuring the Securities and Exchange Commission to... wait, paper lobby?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
We might think our babies are possessed with evil spirits, but don't throw them out the window
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
NASA space missions used whale oil for lube until it was banned. Combined with beef cubes for space food and Velcro hook-and-loop fasteners, it's enough to make you say "Whale oil beef hooked"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Apparently, selling 8 CDs for one penny was not a great business model
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The Anchorage Fire Department say in the last ten days they treated 88 people who smoked synthetic marijuana. Also, when will the media stop calling Spice synthetic marijuana since its effects are nothing like marijuana
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
Two NJ volunteer firefighters busted by a mall cop for making prank calls. The script for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3 is complete
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Epic High Five to come to an end
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Parents forget three-year-old daughter at highway rest stop on beach trip. It's cool, though, as they had two spare kids handy
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NASA study finds that 2 in 10 air traffic controllers had committed significant errors in the previous year and that schedules worked by 76 percent of controllers in the field study led to chronic fatigue
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Mon August 10, 2015
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Watch a car melt right before your eyes because of the extreme killer European heatwave
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When in Brazil, be sure to take advantage of the pubic transportation system
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italian lawyer steals French tourist's wallet, apparently without even going to court
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Fisherman spots drone hovering over pier, gives new meaning to fly fishing
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Oh, you wanted a birth control injection? We thought you said, "Flu shot." Our bad
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Drive-by shooting claims teddy bear"
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A classy NotNewsletter for non-losers
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(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
What is the sound of one SUV slamming into a Buddhist meditation center?
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(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy who thinks he's just super
source: photocdn1.itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Chaos)
 
 
 
List of reasons for admission to a mental hospital in the mid 1800s. Every single one of you would have been institutionalized. Everyone
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(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Not news: TV anchor says what 99.9% of news viewers have wanted to say for years. Fark: On live news broadcast. And walks off the set
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Two killed in a knife attack at an IKEA. Police have sealed off the building and expect to have the perpetrator in custody as soon as they can figure out how to get out of the kitchen section
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(ITV)
 
 
 
A pensioner has been killed by wild boars in Sicily. Police hope to cure the animals responsible
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Bangladeshi Police: 6, Tiger Poachers: 0
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
And in Spain, the score at half time is Bulls 1, Idiots With Cellphones 0
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Press)
 
 
 
The Raelians have taken replacement theology to intergalactic levels
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(Sunshine Coast Daily News)
 
 
 
Oooops
source: sunshinecoastdaily.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this reenactment
source: photocdn1.itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ We're having a heatwaaaave, an Egyptian heatwave. There's no denyin' them pharaohs are fryin' ♫ ♬
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(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Houston police procedure for detaining black women suspected of marijuana possession includes sexually assaulting them- by multiple officers if they're "resisting"
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(The Local)
 
 
 
Remember, catch the bouquet at the wedding, not the celebratory gunfire
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