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Sun August 09, 2015
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Saddam Hussein's former military leaders are back. And in charge of ISIS. So thanks again, both George Bushes
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Study of amateur long distance runners finds that a third of the time, they are thinking, "This sucks" or "This hurts." This is why you never see a runner smiling
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
That sound you heard were monocles and teapots across Britain shattering after the country received intel ISIS is plotting to kill the Queen. No word if they'll outsource the assassination to a California businessman who will utilize Reggie Jackson
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: ocean sunset version
source: orig09.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Why steal everything in the house when you can just steal the house?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scotland to ban genetically modified crops, which presumably includes every strain of corn from the past thousand years
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
The first rule of Florida Fight Club is never talk about Florida Fight Club...alright, which one of you talked to Rolling Stone?
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thousands of twins descend upon Ohio for the 40th annual Twins Days Festival. Twins, Basil. Twins
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy keeping an eye on Mount Rushmore construction
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Villagers in the Solomon Island are holding dolphins for ransom, and they're doing it on porpoise
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Tonight's Hall of Fame Game will be broadcast by Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and Frank Gifford up in Heaven
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AgriLife Today)
 
 
 
Giant webs of nope nope nope taking over Dallas. In related news, the spiders are now working together. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
source: today.agrilife.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
There's this little tribe in Virginia, and it is finally being recognized by the United States government
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Reset the mass shooting clock: 8 dead in Houston mass shooting. Suspect in custody
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Frederick News Post)
 
 
 
Bomb technician called to McDonald's to dispose of a McGrenade
source: fredericknewspost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
One child left behind
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Meet the two most powerful men in government, Kevin Kampschroer and Steve Sakach, who regulate the temperatures in 9,000 Federal buildings by controlling the thermostats
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
NO. Never EVER wear sandals with socks
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Talk about dragging out a dead relationship for years after it ended... oh you mean you won the lottery with you and your ex-partners numbers? Carry on then
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
You know how in the movies a car will look like it's about to crash into a semi but then drive safely and unimpeded under the trailer? Real life is not like the movies
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this roadside attraction
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hereford Times)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Found Treasures
source: herefordtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
"The next thing I knew, this gentleman had picked me up from behind and did the Heimlich maneuver," Mayer continued. "I came around, and it was the mayor of Dallas. It was like he was my hero"
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
128-day, $100,000 around-the world cruise nearly sells out on the first day, as organizers underestimate the appeal of the four month long, 24/7 buffet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Now wait just a gol-durned minute, you reckon the Hatfields and the McCoys are at it again?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
When planning a burglary, you might want to make sure you don't inadvertently dial 911
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
In some places in England, large objects in roads are causing traffic accidents. Those large objects are... horses?
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia may ban the sales of Vegemite in some areas, expecting to lead men at work to cease business as usual, disrupting cargo shipments. Subby is of two hearts over this proposal, as this is overkill even in the land down under
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
It took eighteen months for the Human Resources Department of the City of New York to fire a man because he hadn't been on the job for a year and a half. Then they realized he couldn't be fired because he was dead
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of amazing music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bear kills hiker at Yellowstone after brief struggle over picnic basket
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 08, 2015
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
It should come as no surprise to anyone who's spent time on the main page that the favorite alcohol of Floridians is Jack Daniels
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Large health care providers face competition from smaller facilities that actually provide useful health care instead of waiting rooms and bureaucracy
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
"DEA officials have excessively censured doctors and pharmacists and limited the flow of prescription drugs to such a degree that patients are not able to access prescriptions"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man arrested for carrying a sword, claims it was for "protection," presumably from other immortals
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
The oil has hit the anus
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Gulf Coast Fark Party, October 2015
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man arrested for performing a sex act on himself on a beach, Fark login not released
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If they named a sauce after you what would they call it?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Delta flight makes emergency landing in Denver after HOLY SHIAT
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ravishing beauty
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Groundbreaking study proves helicopter parenting is a bad thing for children
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Stop getting sick and dying... or else
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Eighty-five-year-old great grandmother successfully reaches the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro for charity, makes the rest of us look lazy
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
Couple denied credit on a car decides to try the "handgun" method of negotiation, jailarity ensues
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Modern problems: How to shoot down a drone. Don't, but here is how
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The CDC says early school start times are bad for teenagers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the windows, you'll see the tarmac and ground crews, and if you look toward the aisles or into the cockpit, you'll see that your flight crew and stewardesses are totally ripped"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sexting is so prevalent in our society that virtually everyone is doing it and, according to research, that's a good thing
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop these vintage sledders
source: imgick.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
If you are an Atheist you may want to take a seat because the One True God has been found and here are the photos to prove it
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Three men in Wales are arrested for running a brothel. Fark: A sheep brothel
source: idomadiva.blogspot.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Throwing a little potato salad apparently makes everything better
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
If you are going to vandalize two brand new Ford Explorer SUV police cruisers with your friends you might want to skip recording it all. Or at least refrain from posting said video online
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Residents of one town say that in order to keep them safe from bears and drug dealers, they need streetlights, people up and down the boulevard, their shadows searching in the night
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The problem with HOAs is you never know when they'll come in and try to steal your home out from under you. Yep, it's this thread again
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Sky lanterns are becoming more of a thing now so communities have started banning them. "It's irresponsible to let an incendiary device go up when you don't have control over where it lands"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You're either an alcoholic or a hipster if the only herbs in your garden are things you can use in cocktails
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The newest addition to the list of invasive species we're all encouraged to eat in order to eradicate the population is the brown anole lizard. "Brown anoles taste like bacon"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
A few important things to note about blackouts: First, you don't have to be an alcoholic to have one. "SEE?!" say defensive Fark admins
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Seventy years ago, Eligio Ramos lost his wallet during World War II. Someone just mailed it back to him, complete with tons of old family photos still inside
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Want to see the world's largest junkyard? Of course you do
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaper
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
"New study suggest punishing children is effective". You don't say?
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you find a snake in your underpants
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
The fake ice sheet in the fake Arctic has fake melted so much, National Geographic has had to fake redraw its fake maps to reflect fake climate change
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Come see some fancy felines strutting down the catwalk, just in time for a fabulously fashionable Caturday
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Domain Review)
 
 
 
1. Invent streetlight, 2. Let prostitution flourish, 3. Profit
source: publicdomainreview.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The coolest and yummiest chocolate portraits you will see all day
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Island Now)
 
 
 
If anyone's working on a map of "crime most unique to each state," Hawaii offers up the smash-and-grab ukulele robbery
source: bigislandnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
"An elderly woman who was hit in the mouth by an unidentified man fended off a further attack by squeezing his testicles. She calmly walked away in the opposite direction, and didn't look back"
source: lbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Not News: A man had his car repossessed. Kinda News: As he was at Walmart. Karma: As he was stealing from the electronics department
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Got a problem with your car? Let this blind mechanic look under the hood
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Your annual reminder: If you're going to go hiking at White Sands National Monument in August, please stay on trail and bring plenty of water. No, one bottle per person is not sufficient
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian military discovers a downside of their war with Ukraine: Ukraine made all the engines for their military transports, attack helicopters, and ships
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 07, 2015
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
It's 3rd and 2 for the Cornhuskers so if any elegant mature ladies need help with finances see me at halftime. TOUCHDOWN. Wait, there's a penalty
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
School's almost back, so you may as well get used to a test you don't mind taking. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz, brought to you this week by our primary sponsor: Beer, and lots of it
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Maryland mansion fire that killed six in February ruled accidental according to THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC Dept. of Ed. finds 11th-graders reading "The Three Little Pigs". Investigation promises to blow the house down
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
There's something about being love struck, but it's time to buy a lottery ticket when you're love struck and lightning struck at the same time
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: One year into the first term of President Trump
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
John McAfee arrested in a story sure to go viral
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Jury reaches a verdict on whether James Holmes will receive the death penalty. Come for the flame war about gun control, stay for the announcement at 7pm EDT
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABA Journal)
 
 
 
93-year-old judge wants to end the 44-year-old case of Jarndyce v Jarndyce
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you are talking about so here is an elephant that thinks he is a dog
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
To avoid sky high rent & property costs, man commutes to London. Fark: From Barcelona
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian doctor who helped keep thalidomide out of the US dies at age 101. Give her a round of applause, if you're able
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You know that feeling when your dad beats you at something you thought he was much too old to do? Yeah that's kinda what this is like
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
They're lumberjacks and apparently that's not ok
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
"We are not thugs," says group of thugs descending on mining claim to interfere with US Forest Service regulations
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
British warned not to drink vodka laced with antifreeze, no matter how cold it gets
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bangladeshi blogger hacked by extremists
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop these field workers
source: photocdn1.itar-tass.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Police asking for help in identifying GameStop robber, state that he's armed and dangerous and possibly a goomba
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
In related news, plaintiff has retained the services of Sandor Clegane, Esq
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Texas judge offers man a choice between 15 day or life sentence
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami New Times)
 
 
 
Florida, riddled with insanity, alligators, meth and stupidity, finally draws the line in the sand after Fark mocks Publix
source: miaminewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Boater will be fine after being fished out of a lake thanks to catch and release rules
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
"There's a comedy show in Edinburgh that teaches you how to die"
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Huge 11lb rabbit named Nivens McTwisp is found dumped in a box with a note presumably saying owners couldn't afford to feed the damn thing (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Liberty University is once again requiring its students to attend a speech by a presidential candidate
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
If you know you're going to jail you may as well pose for a selfie with the Officer arresting you, right?
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You can train your mind to be disgusted at terrifying, awful things, such as snakes, grits, insects, the GOP presidential hopefuls--but can you teach it to recoil in horror from high calorie foods?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Miss TSG's weekly Mugshot Roundup? This might help
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
You know the story: boy meets girl, meets judge, meets sex offender registry
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Parents: pay attention to what luggage your kids are packing before you head to the airport, because if they're bringing hatchets and hand grenades, you probably don't want to be on that flight either
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Bourbon rustling still one of the biggest crimes in Kentucky
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TimeOut)
 
 
 
♫ Rubber ducky, you're the one. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one. You're the one... ♫
source: timeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
1 in 14 bus or subway passengers in Los Angeles were groped in the last 6 months. New Yorkers found to be envious of how low that number is
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New York City outbreak of legionnaire's disease grows with 10 already dead and more than 100 confirmed diagnoses. Farking Romans
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"FBI: Spy planes are totally not watching Detroit Arab neighborhood." So those planes you see flying overhead are absolutely spying on you as you go to the mosque to pray
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
What would it look like if the Hiroshima nuclear bomb hit Detroit? Stop that, stop snickering, all of you
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Prisoner surfs out of Norway jail, after obtaining a waiver and rider
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your downstairs neighbor complains about a leak and the maintenance workers go into your apartment and find your pot grow operation?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you love to fly, here's an awesome video of a plane taking off from Chicago in a massive thunderstorm. If you hate to fly, here's a video that will ensure you never fly again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mother decides to leave Earth on a one-way trip to Mars, never to see her husband and children again, taking a "long getaway weekend" to the extreme
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
"No, seriously officer, the sheep and I are just running down to McDonald's for a cheesburger and some fries. She really loves their fries. I mean, doesn't everybody?"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
CEO of home health care conglomerate charged with fraud. As should every single CEO in charge of an American insurance agency; the whole thing is an overpriced scam that bankrupts the middle class
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Woman mauled by a female grizzly bear in Alaska. Hikers are once again advised to stay away from cubs, travel in groups, never pull into Sarah Palin's driveway with an Obama bumper sticker
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Summer motoring tip: An airport runway is not a safe place to drive. Intoxicated, or not
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My brother-in-law just won a lot of money in the lottery. My husband and I need money, and so far Mr. Moneybags hasn't offered us anything to help out, and I worry we're going to have to beg. What's etiquette in this situation?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What happens when you pack 2,000 people onto a cruise ship and let them run around naked? One word: Horrifying (Not safe for work. Difficulty: old people)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica (UK))
 
 
 
MIT claims to have found a "language universal" that ties all languages together. Here come the semantics
source: arstechnica.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Turns out the Pentagon email system the Russians "hacked" was a non-secure one that was only used for the "where do you want to go to lunch" and "have you seen this cute cat video" type of emails
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Groom files lawsuit claiming that his wife defrauded him by wearing heavy makeup until the morning after the wedding. Yep, $20,000 should cover it
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Mother/daughter duo charged with shooting heroin inside their car with a baby inside of it, and their mugshots look pretty convincing as well
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Australian hotel apologises for offering diners 'grilled Aborigine'
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this VR CEO
source: farm1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wall of windows
source: farm1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
To the rest of the world, the devastating Japanese earthquake of 2011 is but a distant memory. But not to the beaches of Alaska where debris from the tsunami keeps washing ashore
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Third time's the charm, unless we're talking about masturbating in your driveway. Then you're in trouble
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Obama administration continues to set immigration priorities as they see fit, only locking up those they deem truly dangerous
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Coast Guard seizes 8 tons of coke but only 6 tons make it to shore. "Um, yeah, the other 2 tons were like in a submarine, and it like sank or something. Yeah, that's it, it sank so don't bother looking for it"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(i24 News)
 
 
 
Best Korea literally moves backwards in time
source: i24news.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Your rights when pulled over by a cop in one infographic
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
French horn returned to woman five years after it was stolen. Neighbors reportedly already plotting to steal it again if she doesn't stop playing it
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Argus Leader)
 
 
 
So far there have been 150 DUI arrests, 157 misdemeanor drug arrests, 65 felony drug arrests, $18,233 in cash seized, 12 vehicles seized, 54 non-injury crashes, 114 injury crashes, and 10 fatal crashes at this year's Sturgis Rally
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
EPA team accidentally releases 1 million gallons of mine waste to river while investigating mine pollution
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A year after Michael Brown's death, Ferguson has changed... mostly into a smoking crater
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
He identified himself as a "clopper,'' or someone who performs a sex act while watching My Little Pony. Well, alrighty then
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If global warming isn't real, then how do you explain all these turtles popping up in Alaska?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♫ He's strong til the finish, because of genetics. He's Popeye the arm wrestling man ♫
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
As drought conditions lead to a "nut boom" in California, residents fear a "nut bust" after aquifers dry up
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 06, 2015
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cop pulls gun on man in his own driveway and tells him, "Put it on YouTube, I don't care"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the *CRASH* Oh ... nevermind
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Following the ruling of a federal judge, Lincoln County commissioners agree to allow non-Christian prayers to open their meetings. Guess how long it lasted. Go on, guess
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If Paleo + Vegan = Pegan then subby's on a Beezza diet
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this archer is running away from
source: farm1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Man arrested for wet willy assault. Childless uncles and older brothers everywhere march in solidarity
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Good news, Windows 10 users too stupid to select appropriate privacy options during the setup of your system. Now there's an app that presents those same privacy options you ignored the first time
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
State lawmaker complains that local deputy treated him like a child on a traffic stop. Apparently "treating like a child" means giving him a warning after clocking him doing 94 in a car with state license plates
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Next time, before you speak so derisively of the 1 percent, remember that many of them suffer, too. For example, did you know that all but the top tenth of them can't even afford to send their kids to a $35,000 per year middle school?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
IS uses suicide bomber to attack a mosque. You're doing it wrong
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Stradivarius violin returned 35 years after it was stolen, no strings attached
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
"Wow. I was really lucky surviving Hiroshima. I am so glad to be back in good ol' Nagasaki"
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Все ваши базы принадлежат нам
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Not just for party tricks and what-do-we-do-now bread recipes, bananas are both healthy and tasty. So, how do you use them when cooking?
source: marthastewart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Two deaf brothers receive cochlear implants, hear each other and their late father for the first time
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
White supremacist blows off his leg while making homemade bombs. In related news, local officials predict drop in curbstomping assaults
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Welsh town appoints first jester in 700 years
source: afp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina seeks 35% rate hike increase because fArC yA, that's why
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Here's how to keep your husband from having sex with the nanny. Step one: Don't hire a nanny
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In a story pulled directly from the annals of stupidity, a woman discovers she has been using olive oil bath gel to cook with instead of actual olive oil. "I'm not chef of the week"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Vertical Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful stripes
source: southernfan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Bald eagles swarm into Indiana to feast on the entrails of state's last thousand democrats
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Dedicated dad gets a One Direction tattoo to win tickets for his daughters. Forgets to read the fine print and gets DQ'd
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Civet poop coffee. New hotness? Gorilla poop cheesecake
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
They call him the streak: Naked man runs after crashing into 6 vehicles
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Times Reporter)
 
 
 
"Sputnikfest seeks Ms. Space Debris contestants". Wonder if she has to show her junk?
source: htrnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Gas stations add tax targeting people who are bad at math
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
From the "you're doing it wrong" desk: Gay teens have higher pregnancy rates than straight peers
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flixist)
 
 
 
One man sat down and ate the entire Fantastic 4 Slamtastic menu at Denny's. It didn't end well
source: flixist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember how the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails wasn't a criminal probe? Yeah, about that
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Zoo visitor convinced that animals are trained to photobomb his family pictures
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
What's more terrifying than clowns? Elderly clowns
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Don't know why people are asking candidates whether the Bible has authority over the Constitution, when Jesus clearly wrote both of them
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
Man reports a robbery by an armed woman wearing 'a distinctive cow onesie'. Police are appealing for information, vow they'll take the bull by the horns
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Those 3 Jade Helm nutters' foolproof plan to take out the military included coffee cans full of gunpowder and ball bearings. Acme Ball Bearing Company suspiciously quiet
source: drive.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Forks Herald)
 
 
 
Police officer who left gun on road has suffered "administrative ramifications". Let that be a lesson to us all
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
This explains why Jim Beam Rye whiskey has jumped from $14 to $19 a bottle and Fark is looking for waterproof servers
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The US will not stage an aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf, presumably because there isn't a Bush presidency
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Parents outraged after deputy decides a child has a "special need." A special need for handcuffs, that is
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Man charged with going full Zelda on his father
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melancholy scene
source: southernfan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
5-year-old girl with terminal cancer gets a birthday party, wedding and prom all at once. It is so dusty in here
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Danish backpacker killed by Tasmanian devil
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Typhoon knocks out water and power to Northern Marianas island. Everybody Saipanic
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Second inmate in Colorado prison succumbs to the plague. Oh, rats
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Rick Santorum's son arrested after leaving an entirely different kind of skid mark
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
Ontario defeats Los Angeles for the first time ever, taking control of Ontario airport from LAX. Expect more flights inbound for meth purchasers and outbound flights to anywhere to escape the Inland Empire
source: pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
"Historians may look to 2015 as the year the shiat really started hitting the fan"
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A dog learns the hard way that you cannot win an argument with a parrot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It was take-your-kid-to-work day for Arizona bounty hunters Tuesday, and it did not go as planned
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
I don't always swing shirtless from trees and think I am Tarzan at the Santa Ana zoo, but I do when I'm on meth
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston Police Commissioner: "A lot of home invasions seem to revolve around marijuana, young college kids invite regular city kids over and next thing you know, their door is getting knocked down and they're getting robbed"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
It's always embarrassing when you and a friend are both arrested for having heroin wrapped in condoms hidden inside your vaginas, but your friend needs medical help withdrawing it from her vagina while you can easily pull it out from yours
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Seventy years ago today man unleashed the power of the sun; became death, destroyer of worlds
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Four Southern California police officers from various departments are charged with putting the boot in boot camp on 13 "at risk" youths
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Former deputy police chief and MADD chapter president charged with impaired driving
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
U g l y . . . a s s . . . b a b y . . . t w o . - . t o e d . . . s l o t h . . . b o r n . . . a t . . . C h i c a g o ' s . . . L i n c o l n . . . P a r k . . . Z z z z o o
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
With a headline like "Judge Frees Tattoo Face Kiddie Porn Guy's Snitch Brother," you just know the mugshot is going to be phenomenal
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
San Francisco is so thoroughly soaked in urine that the light poles are toppling over from the corrosion
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 535: "Oops...The Inept Farktographer II" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2015
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Looking for some fast food in Iran? You can choose from "Mash Donald's", "Pizza Hat" or "ZFC"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
How did an Illinois tornado slip under the radar? It slipped under the radar
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Matador Network)
 
 
 
Good news, America. You're no longer the most obnoxious traveler
source: matadornetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Ex-carny busted for bestiality when he accidentally butt-dials someone during the act. BIATCH SET ME UP
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
There's trolling and then there's infiltrating a secret White Pride Facebook group with 2500 members, taking it over and turning it into 'LGBT Southerners for Michelle Obama and Jews'
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man of the wave
source: farm1.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The day I ordered pizza that doesn't exist
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Good: Police find your stolen car. Fark: 22 years later
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Healthy 75-year-old woman decides to get out while the getting out is good
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Is there a rock shortage?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Man charged with 7 felony counts of jury tampering for informing potential jurors about nullification. If only there were some way to invalidate those charges
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Teacher forces atheist second grader to eat lunch alone. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Did a demon or some sort of "otherworldly being" make an appearance on a videotape of Obama's visit to Kenya? World Net Daily editor John Kovacs is "just asking the questions" here, people
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man who attacked his wife said to be "incoherent," "stabby"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Wolf-dog escapes from petting zoo during flood. Owlbear, drama-llama and piranha-lobster still safely locked up
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pope Francis tells Catholics to lighten up and be nicer to people who have gotten divorced and/or remarried
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Shots fired at the Mississippi military base where "Jade Helm " exercises are being held. NO-this is NOT a repeat from yesterday. Well okay it IS, kinda, but the point is it has happened twice in two days
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Berry Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these delicious strawberries
source: southernfan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
PSA: It's not a good idea to recommend highly absorbent VIVA paper towels to the menstruating shopper
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
A belly full of wine and pants full of fish is no way to go through life, son
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turkey says they plan a "comprehensive battle" against ISIS. As soon as they finish off the Kurds, of course
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
First electric traffic lights installed 101 years ago today. Proceed with caution
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Things just keep getting worse for Hitchbot. Now Kevin Smith has him
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Worst movie trilogy since the Star Wars prequels
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
♪ How much is that doggy in the window? How much if I just grab him and run? ♪
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Scientists warned that editing genes in wildlife is like introducing the Cane Toad to Australia
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fairfax County, VA, announces plans for handling $80 million shortfall in school budget: Kill all sports and extracurricular activities and increase class sizes. They could probably save even more money by getting rid of desks, teachers, and books
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Icelandic lullabies are NOPEtastic: "Sleep, you black-eyed pig / Fall into a deep pit of ghosts"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Nothing runs like a Deere, especially if you're frantically trying to get it to stop
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
If you've been waiting on your delivery of twenty tons of mayonnaise, I have some bad news for you. Also, you're gross
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
The game's afoot at Florida vacation home of the Cecil killing dentist, and that game is "who left the pickled pig's feet"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
NewsFlash
 
Officials confirm debris is from MH370, CNN files for bankruptcy
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWGN.com)
 
 
 
Sometimes the dog-walker gets the steak
source: kwgn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Netflix to offer employees unlimited maternity and paternity leave for the first year after a child's birth. Bonus: And with no reduction in pay
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you left your newborn baby with umbilical cord still attached on an LA sidewalk, police would love to chat with you about your amazing parenting skills [but don't worry; the baby is alive in spite of this]
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Impersonator)
 
 
 
Posing as a fake cop is great, until you try to pull over a real off-duty police officer
source: starbeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My husband had an affair that resulted in the destruction of our marriage; his mistress got pregnant, and he expects me to babysit his love child. Am I right to refuse this insane request, or does it make me look mean?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC facing "weaponized" weed. After fighting "weaponized soft drinks" they are ready for this battle
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Here are the ten richest people of all-time, where number one is simply described as "Richer than anyone could describe"
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Comedy in the age of outrage
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Gas prices fall for 20 straight days due to ... *** shakes Magic 8 Ball *** ... a weakening market for crude oil and the resolution of U.S. refinery issues. Hey wait, when did the Magic 8 Ball start giving real answers?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Police believe a recent triple homicide was actually a ritual killing tied to the recent blue moon
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The waiting room had HORRIBLE decor. Taupe and green. Staff was mostly very friendly and knowledgeable, but so slooooooooow. Parking wasn't bad. Minus one star because, no popsicles. Yelp does ERs
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Like salmon returning to spawn, like swallows returning to Capistrano, or Canadians returning to Florida for winter, the first signs of Pumpkin Spice in the wild have been confirmed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Leighton Buzzard Observer)
 
 
 
Oops. Hands up, who pulled the plug?
source: leightonbuzzardonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
There are many times in life when it's great to find a bargain. This would not be one of those
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Must be Oslo news day
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop whatever the hell is going on in this photo
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptome)
 
 
 
The History of Donald Trump's hair. Proceed at your own risk
source: cryptome.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
Bids just passed $19,000 for an imaginary spear on eBay. Surprisingly is not a World of Warcraft item
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How did American beer become so bland? Blame the Germans
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Lawyer says porn is worse than Hitler. Hitler responds by saying lawyers are worse than him AND porn
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Good news; the cops who lied on their report about the DuBose murder will not be charged, because a report is not a sworn statement by an officer and they changed their story when questioned by a jury
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Backwards Middle Eastern theocracy to hold Jewish activist without charge or trial because fark the Jews, that's why. Bonus: Despite actions like this, Obama continues to send them weapons
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, stealing soda will upset us
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Remember back in the good old days when you were growing up and you could warn everyone on social media not to go to school and you wouldn't get arrested?
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLY Spokane)
 
 
 
Would-be purse snatcher thwarted when roller derby queen chases him down. Bonus: her derby name is Ida B. ChoAzz
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a picture of a hot bear in the Arizona sun
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The man who kickstarted our disposable coffee culture has died. We all have grounds to be upset
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Trifecta completed as a new entry in the Special Olympic hide and seek competition emerges when a 24 year-old Ivory Coast athlete has gone missing Monday night. Perhaps someone should be keeping an eye on these athletes
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
UCLA student who wrote article on why women should get tampons for free gets shocked when she is told to put a cork in it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Behold: the stone that 'translated' the Book of Mormon
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Study: Marijuana more harmless than previously thought
source: health.usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Cops who were caught on tape eating pot-laced candy bars during a raid on a dispensary say that the tapes are inadmissible because the cops thought they had disabled the cameras and therefore had a "reasonable expectation of privacy"
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Drone drops package of heroin in the middle of prison yard. Hilarity ensues
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 04, 2015
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Married couples reveal sneaky ways they fit sex into their schedules. Difficulty: With each other
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
World's best free-diver missing off coast of Spain, presumed dead
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Catholic diocese in North Dakota severs ties with Boy Scouts of America after Scouts permit gay scout leaders. Because if anyone is looking out for the best interests of our young boys, it's the Catholic church
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
♫ You hoard twenty-one tons, what do you get / A vermin-filled home that reeks when it's wet ♫
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
UPS will keep taking poachers' money
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Carjacking mastermind tries unsuccessfully to take unmarked police car with two detectives inside
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spotted leopard
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(WTOP)
 
 
 
High school freshman lacking required vaccination contracts whooping cough. Correction: Congressional GOP freshman contracts whooping cough
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
OS X privilege bug could let attackers hijack your computer. Apple users, check your privilege
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man accused of naked toy store rampage is 'mentally ill.' You don't say
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The 'Godfather of Hooliganism' banned from all sports matches in the country. And there you were, thinking your title of 'assistant cappuccino steamer' made you special
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Nine facts about breasts that we can discuss in a mature and clinical way
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Atlanta)
 
 
 
PE coaches hate fat kids
source: atlanta.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Dutch Army is all "pew pew pew" because they're out of bullets
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Can we reverse the aging process by putting young blood into older people? Why not step onto my lawn here and we can talk about it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
'Iran is great' public relations mobile home sparks terrorism panic. Follow-up 'Kazakhstan is for lovers' and 'Afghanistan's Khyber Pass: be excited' PR tours now in doubt
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(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Two men open fire on Jade Helm training
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(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
For once the food isn't the worst thing being cooked at Taco Bell
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof's lawyers plan his defense. "An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole his car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts IT WASN'T HIS FAULT, HE SWEARS TO GOD"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Review)
 
 
 
From a book review about nudists: "Naked is what you are when you haven't got your clothes on. Nude is what you are when you have, with intent, taken your clothes off." Pic at top slightly Not safe for work
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: What should really grow on trees
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mother-of-the-year kidnaps her own 2-year-old daughter to prevent her from being vaccinated, indoctrinated about racial history, and learning that the South lost the Civil War
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In effort to move confederate statue, Maryland officials create racist jack-in-the-box
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(Newser)
 
 
 
One solid sign of a drinking problem: Your eight-year-old daughter clinging to your pickup doesn't slow you down as you drive to the liquor store
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
If you love someone, set them free. Or you could try this guy's method, your call
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday US Coast Guard. You don't look a day over 200
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Strong storms crush police cruiser in Rhode Island, toppling lawn chairs in Massachusetts
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(Metro)
 
 
 
PSA: Hey Mr. Homophobe if you're going to verbally abuse then sucker-punch a gay couple you'd better make certain they are not West Point Plebe Boxers
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"I'm furious, and I'm scared. My black son just had his first police interaction." Fark: At age 3
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
It's like rain on your wedding day, or the best man accidentally crushing the groom with a harvester
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCB Charlotte)
 
 
 
That's weird - I don't see the word "terrorists" anywhere in this article
source: wccbcharlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Storm kills two, injures dozens at circus. In tents weather trifecta in play
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Okay fire up Google Maps and try to follow along: An Israel human rights group, who won a $330 million judgement against North Korea in a US District Court is trying to get a Mexican court to issue a writ to seize a NK freighter docked there
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A migrant who hid in a suitcase for at least five hours while on board a ship bound for Spain died while trapped inside. Police say he could hardly contain himself
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Is your drug dealing competition costing you money? We offer a free service to help you eliminate your drug competition": Sheriff's office asks drug dealers to turn in their rivals
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The week we found a new reason to hate dentists
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"A lot of people keep some strange things in freezers." Degree of difficulty: Australia
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Birmingham Mail)
 
 
 
But your honour. I'm too famous to use public transport. Oh, by the way, does anyone know where I left my car?
source: birminghammail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Local London)
 
 
 
Bank robber leaves empty handed after teller tells him to to F*** off. They don't make criminals like they used to
source: thisislocallondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
India blocks 90% of all internet content
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(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these majestic rolling hills
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
Crack is tearing this small NC town apart
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
'Would you like to buy a vowel?'
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man who fled the suburbs seven years ago to live in a remote cabin with no water, electricity or toilet says he'll never go back, lives without any modern amenities, and for the last six months he's had a girlfriend who visits fortnightly (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
That Chinese escalator is hungry again
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If we need to bomb any German dams we've officially become screwed
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
The Mormon church will be releasing more historical documents to keep Trey Parker and Matt Stone going for a few more years
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Someone with the name 50 Cent can't live on $73,000 per month. You can't explain that (link fixed)
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who knew streetlights were so close to JFK Airport?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Caitlin Jenner comes out as a hardcore Conservative, gives people who normally fap to St. Reagan posters the weirdest boners
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Interview with former Ferguson cop Darren Wilson who shot and killed black teenager Michael Brown reveals he is a) unrepentant, b) drowning in self-pity, c) racist, d) all of the above
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Selfie Of The Year contender snaps one from the Gay Pride festival in Amsterdam: "Selfie sticks are mostly useless fashion accessories, unless you know how to use them properly" (w/pic)
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
We can't build a trainyard here... this is bat country
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
American B-52s bomb Australia
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(Guns.com)
 
 
 
Maine Boy Scout summer camp gets donation of silencers for rifles, pistols, and shotguns, which will be useful when scouts go for their Sentry Elimination and Splinter Cell merit badges
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Gawker editors publish Trump's cell phone number, probably launching this summer's asshole version of the ice-bucket challenge, sponsored by Verizon
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(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Forget the snooze button, this bed will make sure you get up
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2015
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Homestar Runner discovers Flash is dead
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(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Trying to cash in on the anguish over Cecil the Lion's death, a financial services company introduces a new "Cecil the Lion" investment tool
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un to travel to Indonesia to receive an international peace prize. Remaining members of his inner circle to begin planning various coups
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBOI2 Boise)
 
 
 
Bronze statue stolen in brazen theft
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(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these guests
source: cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
M I bang bang I bang bang I P P I
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(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Real Estate Fraud Lawyer and Legal Ethics professor of the year candidate gives best class demonstration ever...by stealing $200k from a client
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
A federal agency you've never heard of could wind up in charge of the internet because of a picture of crooked teeth
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(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
PSA: If you bond your fiance out of jail for the weekend so you can get married he just might skip out on the wedding and the bond
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Texas tourists not allowed in New York
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Post)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines to big game trophy hunters: GTFO
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(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Pair arrested in air conditioner thefts, will be spending some time in the cooler
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(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Navy guy finds out the hard way that tossing your cellphone full of seamen pics into the trash can come back to haunt you
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
What does San Francisco smell like? Besides unwashed liberal pot-smoking hippies
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scotland proves that grown men can get into a drunken brawl over a parasol in a beer garden, sure
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Special Olympics introduce new event: Find the athlete at LAX
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Legionnaires' disease outbreak kills four in Bronx. Son of Sam, pet rocks, and roller discos can't wait to return to the spotlight
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Make fun of Fla. all you want, but where else can you find a pastor who can tackle a gunman -- during Sunday church service?
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(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Awww, the baby senator from Arkansas thinks he's Austin Powers or something
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(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Comcast steps up efforts to alienate last remaining cable customers
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(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Lizard Man sighted in SC. With compelling photographic evidence
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(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meeter & greeter