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Sun August 02, 2015
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
The Earth, the Earth, the Earth is on fire. We don't need no climate-let the motherfarker burn. Burn, motherfarker, BURN
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
👉👌, ✊: 🚫
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Some Guy
source: ww3.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"They seemed to really trust each other. The marmoset was very intrigued, touching the iguana"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
The Wire: Season 6 is in production
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
DA throws the book at a man who explicitly threatened to kill his neighbors once he got out of jail. Just kidding. They dismissed his case because police were too busy working other cases
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Adventures in dogbathing. How do you keep your dog from smelling like a dog? Why yes, Subby's house is now soaked in doggy bath water
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this group of friends
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston bridge repair project delayed two years after workers discover bridge is full of mysterious objects known to the ancients as "rivets"
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Man teaches his daughter's bullies an important lesson about empathy and loving their fellow man. Just kidding, he tries to run them over in his minivan (yes, there is video)
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Get a room, teachers, get a room
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
There's jerk and then there's stealing $90,000 worth of human hair meant for cancer patients jerk
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News (Australia))
 
 
 
Aircraft door washes up ashore on Reunion island as the evidence of MH370 now becomes as plane as day
source: skynews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Just in from Memphis: Another death during a traffic stop
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Notorious criminal organizations launder millions overseas and enjoy lavish lifestyle here in the U.S. Oh wait, did we say "notorious criminal organizations"? Our bad, we meant "Florida police agencies"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Giant snails leave a trail of destruction through Miami
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this whole lotta craziness going on
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Your song
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Glitter, children, live cats, and other things you can't mail via the U.S. Postal Service
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Babysitter pay jumps 28% in five years. I kid you not
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man loses cell phone, blames Gypsys, finds out Chinese guy had it, leaves Paris. There, I just saved you five minutes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Be careful removing the film wrapper off of your Kraft American Cheese Singles. It could kill you. The wrapping, not the cheese, to be precise
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
"It's embarrassing and I don't see how it even got to this," Blake said. "I really did not know I was breaking the law"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSFA)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Woman tries to eat crack cocaine in front of drug agents." With glorious mugshot
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to escape the incessant chicken shaming, okay? Are you happy now?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now)
 
 
 
After realizing it was heading to Fresno, airplane engine flames out in flight
source: scrippsmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Christianity is like so Middle-Ages
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
In today's episode of First World Problems, we learn how unfair it is that one town allows driving on the beach and the next town does not
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Will you vacation on Cape Spiny Dogfish this summer?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Apparently Virginia believes you can't really appreciate jail unless you're sober
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
It's not such a beautiful day in the gayborhood
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of amazing music hosted live by a farker (9PM AKDT/10PM PT)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Last year, Hitchbot crossed Canada in three weeks. Two weeks into a similar attempt to cross the U.S., he made it as far as Philadelphia where they beat the crap out of him
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 01, 2015
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
World's largest wave generator in operation in Wales. Wait, why would you want to generate a wave in a whale?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The touching story of a doctor, an incubator and a circus sideshow
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Colombian Air Force transport goes down, killing 11 servicemen. Thank God this didn't happen in Brazil, as the casualties could have been in the
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe bans the hunting of lions and elephants and leopards...OH MY
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Well, you know the old saying: "Keep your friends close, and your dead relatives closer." No, wait... how does that go again?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Longmont Times-Call)
 
 
 
Yogi has gone from stealing pic-a-nic baskets in Jellystone Park to breaking in to houses and raiding fridges in Colorado
source: timescall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Trooper almost killed by Sandra Bland's cigarette was disciplined last year about his unprofessional conduct, had to endure counseling. It's like he's being targeted
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSNT Topeka)
 
 
 
Do you like Italian ice? Are you good at solving mysteries? Well if you can crack the case of the bounce house that was stolen then later returned with an 'I'm sorry' note then you will be rewarded with free Italian ice for a year
source: ksnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12 News Now)
 
 
 
If you've had 5 encounters with alligators in the 2 years that you have lived in that house it might be time to think about moving
source: 12newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Plane crashes at UK auto show. No word on car plowing through airshow audience
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Bees think Anti--Vaxxers are stupid and selfish too
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
♬ I only have eyes for you ♬
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHEC Rochester)
 
 
 
Not really news: Stealing from the elderly. Fark: The unholy spawn of Jar Jar Binks and a snapping turtle steals money from the elderly
source: whec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Explore)
 
 
 
It's your annual bear sushi party Live Brooks Falls webcam
source: explore.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man who killed two children in a car crash shows up to hearing wearing t-shirt and shorts, gets scolded by judge for dressing as if he didn't care about the horrific crime. Tag is for the judge
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this NOPE
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Man disappears after going on vision quest. Brian Shute wanted for questioning
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nitrous oxide campaigners protest psychoactive substances bill, go outside and laugh it off
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Smuggling cocaine in a car. New Hotness: Smuggling cocaine in a submarine
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
"They put up a poster that said he looks similar to Vanilla Ice, rides a BMX bike, carries a backpack, wears a heavy gauge chain necklace and is about 6 feet to 6 feet 2 inches tall and 175 to 180 pounds"
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Jared the Subway pervert paid a 16-year-old girl $100 for sex, bragged about it to Subway employee girlfriend, pressured said girlfriend to advertise herself on Craigslist so he could watch. The Aristocrats
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Not news: Downtown traffic gridlock due to an accident. WTF: Accident is in another town ten miles away
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Daddy teaches his little girl to mind him next time when he tells her to go buy him some booze by shooting her multiple times
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Thief who hit ophthalmology office twice in two days was captured on security camera. Authorities say it was a site for sore eyes
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ohhhhhhh finally. Nom Nom Nom (slightly graphic image in article)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Crown attorney: "God almighty, I've never seen a case like this where there's been an argument over a dildo"
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
If your friend beats you to death with a metal dumbbell was he ever really your friend to begin with?
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Texas couple with too much money adds 80th Dodge Viper to their world-record collection of cars
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Federal judge fines Mississippi school district $7500 for violating order to quit "proselytizing Christianity." Next up, are taxpayers tithing to churches when school districts allow school prayers?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Days after Cecil the lion was killed, news outlet posts picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip posing with dead tiger 50 years ago. Pfft. It would have been dead by now anyway, so no harm done
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's really just a matter of time
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
People just suck. Jericho, Cecil's brother, was killed by a poacher this morning. He had been protecting Cecil's cubs. UPDATE: Field researcher with Hwange Lion Research Project says Jericho appears live and well
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dark bird
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Riding in a car that gets pulled over leading the driver to get arrested for no registration, lack of insurance, and a suspended license? That's tickets for the same violations as the driver, obviously
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Investigators using "sophisticated technology" to determine if debris is from MH370. Apparently "sophisticated technology" is double-speak for "checking a serial number". 24 hour coverage NOW on CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Police get a called to a home to check on the welfare of an occupant inside and find 12 cats, 4 ferrets, 3 dogs and fully-grown pig. Bonus: The occupant was later arrested for threatening the lady she believed had called police
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
They see me rolling and they slow down
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Beer prices will soon skyrocket. THIS IS MADNESS
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Taxi drivers in Cambridge, Mass. will go on strike Monday to protest Uber ... thereby forcing customers to switch to Uber
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Git yer apron and yer sauce brush. We're goin' to war. Ribfest war
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
What started as a lifeguard's polite request to put out a cigarette turned into a brawl. That's when the assailants learned a lifeguard is dangerous when cornered
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Passengers going through security at Washington Dulles will now be subject to the comfy chair...no word on the soft cushions
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
What happens when you combine several years of drought with lightning strikes in forest land that is nothing more than a big patch of kindling?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these swimming Santas
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
64-year-old former Las Vegas showgirl still looks like she's in her 20s: "I start the day with a cup of warm water with lemon in, followed by some porridge with honey or coconut oil and a small coffee after I have finished working out" (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Guy posts 30 second video of cops arresting guy, talks smack about said cops. Cops release their video of the entire arrest. Bodycamlarity ensues
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Meet Carlow the firehouse cat that is setting hearts ablaze all around the world on Caturday and beyond
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
You're arrested and have several warrants out for you. Do you: a) call a lawyer, b) refuse to talk, or c) try to chew your fingerprints off. Difficulty: Florida
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Row, row, row your boat, jeté down the stream
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl hikes up a steep embankment while barefoot to flag down help after her mother and brother are injured in a car accident. "She's just five years old and so happy to be home and playing with her dog and her ducks"
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Ten people try to score some heroin from their dealer... while a police raid is going on inside the house
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Okay, TFD, how the hell do I get this GODDAMN MOTH that flew up my ear OUT OF MY FARKING EAR??
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The legacy of the Bin Laden family crashing jets into things continues
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
It was Lupis
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Summit Daily)
 
 
 
Leadville woman charged with filling boyfriend full of ... tire tracks. What a Day
source: summitdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 31, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Come from your houseboats, your jet skis, your poolsides and your waterslides: It's the Fark Weird News Quiz. Come for the girls in bikinis, stay for whatever could be better than girls in bikinis
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
The 'self declared' sausage capital of New Zealand may be going limp. "It's concerning to me as a sausage eater," said Mr Low
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Facebook launches its first of many solar powered drones, you know, to allow people in remote areas to share cat photos
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Served 25 years in the Marines, two combat tours in Vietnam, Purple Heart, Bronze Star, voiced Bambi, promoted to Major... wait, back up
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
Who mows their lawn at 11 at night? But, more importantly, who gets worked up enough about it to kill?
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Your wolf wants steak
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Tax warrants are threatening to put a 70-year-old woman in jail because of an IRS error. Did I say 70-year-old woman? I meant 7-year-old girl
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Apparently it is not okay to have your airplane be hangaring around your driveway
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
It's becoming more and more apparent that the idea of a Taco Bell that serves alcohol may present a few more problems than initially foreseen
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Road Warrior Voices)
 
 
 
There are a lot of things on the to-do list whenever a plane prepares to depart from an airport: Passengers on board? Check. Got enough fuel? Check. Snacks and drinks stocked? Check. All the luggage from the previous flight unloaded? Ooops
source: roadwarriorvoices.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Unemployed cartoon characters
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Excuse me, librarian, where could I learn about bedbugs?" "Well, you could look in the reference section under L, the fiction section, the young adult section, or pretty much just anywhere"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
New world's worst job: The guy at the brewery who gets the yeast off the wasps
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Madison, WI mayor says bench time should be limited for the homeless, need to work a little harder to make the starting lineup
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Priest performs mass exorcism from Hellicopter
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Famous Seattle restaurant in chaos after minimum wage hike, with dishwashers knifing busboys and bartenders screeching like howler monkeys while feasting on the goo in customer's heads. Well, sorta
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear Carolyn: I've met a guy who's good to me, athletic and fit, well-adjusted socially, and professionally successful. However, he's using the marijuanas. Should I dump him?
source: live.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Have you found Jesus?"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you are passing by the White House, be sure to give some cash to Spread Love, a street band that has been annoying Treasury Department and the lawyers at Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Suntory has challenged itself, before this decade is out, to put a bottle of Yamazaki Sherry Malt Cask 2013 on the ISS and return it safely to Earth
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
*spins wheel* F SCOTT FITZGERALD, COME ON DOWN. You're the next contestant on "long dead authors exploited by publishers who "suddenly found" a missing manuscript that they could sell
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Jim Harbaugh: "I didn't come here to be popular". He may have come to the right place, then
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mighty)
 
 
 
Some parents are upset that the new Lego characters go too far to include everyone
source: themighty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Dylann Roof pleads not guilty. Alrighty then
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
US wage growth goes way down, US stock market goes way up. You can explain that
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy couple having a few beers
source: farm9.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
NC high school principal back on the job after being videotaped threatening teacher, posting nude selfies on Instagram
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
How do you take out a peeping tom who is spying on your 16-year-old daughter in the 21st century? Kill the drone with your shotgun
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
As if California didn't have enough to worry about - killer trees
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Detroit)
 
 
 
Doctor charged with only declaring 92-year-old woman "mostly dead"
source: myfoxdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chad reintroduces death penalty for acts of terror, Muffy still simply aghast
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
For the second time this month alone, a hog manure pit has claimed the lives of a father and son in the Midwest. Can we now have a sensible, adult, conversation about pig-poop control?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Jesus vs. Aliens: political battle in Roswell or next Syfy hit?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Drug war ending. Drugs won
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Woman who adopted nine kids, fostered thirty-six dies in crash on way home to her shoe
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin 'personally ordered' the killing of Alexander Litvinenko, according to inquiry based off of testimony, science and reading the tea leaves
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Virginia is for lovers. Sadly, it's also for rabid otters
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
I don't know how to break this to you but...you ARE in Maryland
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kansas befuddled by the fact it can't find enough teachers to fill its classrooms after slashing education funds and gutting tenure. Also doesn't know what "befuddled" means
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crawley Observer)
 
 
 
Woman complains to police that a man in a BMW was naked from the waist down. Police tell her that if they had to investigate every dick in a BMW, they'd never have time to do any other police work
source: crawleyobserver.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Boy grows second row of ribs, but cannot receive medical aid because his parents are busy picking mushrooms in the woods
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Drunk Japanese women finally give up, create "hangover style" to deal with themselves waking up with makeup on their faces. Yes really
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
The secret to living to 110 is apparently three Miller High Lifes and a shot of Johnny Walker Blue every day. It is currently unclear if Miller Lite and Jameson's is an acceptable substitute; subby will let you know in a few decades
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Here is the world's biggest slide, and it's totally awesome
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dentist who killed Cecil the Lion wanted to kill a large elephant next, "whose tusk weighed more than 63 pounds." Reportedly also had plans to drown six puppies and smother a litter of kittens with a blanket
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Walmart to woman with Tourettes: Make like a tree and le, le, le, GTFO
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Police say the 12 year old chased the man several blocks and then shot at him"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Commercial)
 
 
 
"I wanna double sheesebuuuurger, fries, and more alco...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"
source: dailycommercial.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man sitting on roof falls backward down 7 story chimneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Help Wanted: Must be willing to travel, be good with the public and the ability to perform exorcisms a plus. Please apply at any local Catholic church in the Philippines
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(infoBlizzard)
 
 
 
Texas man shot after bullet ricochets off armadillo
source: infoblizzard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Motoring Research)
 
 
 
'Shocking' number of Brits don't know they need to call 0118 999 881 99 9119 7253 in an emergency
source: motoringresearch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this starry starry night
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We all know how annoying it is when airlines lose your luggage, but holding up a £3 billion legal case to complain to the airline's lawyer about it 33 times is not the right way to deal with the situation, your honor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
"Jesus can heal anybody but it's just not something you expect to see at the duck pond" (exorcism trifecta now in play)
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Venezuela suffers toilet paper shortage: "It's okay, we'll make do." Breast implant shortage: "Meh, we'll get by." Beer shortage: "CALL OUT THE TROOPS"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Public relations firm announces that they're cutting ties with the most hated dentist in America. Swear they're not lion
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Do you shower daily, apply deodorant in the morning and brush your teeth before breakfast? You're doing it wrong
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
That's great that the world is up in arms about the Zimbabwean lion killed by poachers, but how come no celebrities are outraged about the lack of water and electricity to the people of Zimbabwe? Signed, the people of Zimbabwe
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Investigators examining suspected wreckage of MH370 on Reunion Island decide to take a short break after scientists warn the island's volcano is ABOUT TO BLOW
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Naugles reopens after 20 years in Orange County, and then, just like that, runs out of food
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
The Kentucky gubernatorial race is shaping up to be a barn burner with the Democratic and Republican candidates separated by less than the margin of error, and the young fellow named Drew Curtis polling at a respectable 8% and rising
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
♫ OOOOOOOklahoma ♫ Where the man bicycling across the country gets killed by a woman texting behind the wheel ♫
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Pity the poor TV weatherman with an Accu-Cast2000 that's not accurate. "Our ability to forecast is only as good as what we can currently observe"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man sets his home on fire after his wife refused to give in to his clumsy sexual advances
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In the blue corner, mothers trying to save their children. And in the red corner, mothers trying to save the Earth. Ready... FIGHT
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Woman awoke from hysterectomy surgery to discover she had a gaping hole in her mouth and bleeding gums - but then she remembered she's British
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sacred ground? Somebody wants to air a live exorcism from THE 'Exorcist' house
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Schadenfreude at its finest - kids who were cool and popular in school are losers as adults. Here comes the science
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
If you are going to rig the lottery drawing, you might want to wait until after the drawing before you reveal the winning numbers. Just saying
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Think it would be awesome to remember every single day of your life? Well, yes and no
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Do you thank Warren Buffett when you have sex? Maybe you should
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
With the heat index, it's 154 degrees in Iran city of Bandar Mahshahrishotout
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2015
(The Local)
 
 
 
Sweden cracks down on a) drug trafficking, b) prostitution, or c) silly police reports
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
POT. Hammer time
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
First it was the sharks at the NC beaches. Now? Oh the huge manatees
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Jury finds man guilty of decapitating his girlfriend, and judge declares he will beheading to prison for the rest of his life
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
♫ Go Granny, go, Granny, go, Granny, go ♫
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Jesus caught a burglar in the act, and held him for the police. No, not that Jesus. Not that one either
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"Licence and registration ma'am, thank you. Why were you speeding?" "I wanted to reach the cottage in time to catch the sunset." "Ma'am, it's 8:30 in the morning"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Court dismisses lawsuit for two damned dirty apes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you do the voodoo that you do, expect to get fired at this Brooklyn high school
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Hobby Airport reporting long delays for outbound passengers, who vow to use a Professional Airport next time
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stop sign
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
License to kill
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Wait until this thief gets a 'load' of the type of pills he stole
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro US)
 
 
 
Back in the day, NYC street gangs had good decent wars, today it's all dildos (Not safe for work if your boss is offended by cartoon dildos)
source: metro.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this golfboard surfcart thingie
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(dare.org)
 
 
 
Marijuana legalization endorsed by the hippies at DARE
source: webcache.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Human torso found during investigation of severed limbs. Police say they are unconnected
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Umm, guys, you know those fellas we trained to fight the Al Qaida? Well, they just got kidnapped by the Al Qaida. Bummer
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
University of Michigan on high alert after turkey spotted on campus
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Woman 'accidentally' runs over husband. Suuure
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Son, 74, accused of threatening to kill his 100-year-old mother, possibly involving his accomplice, Time
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Pioneer Woman)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Some things just shouldn't be frozen.. but this isn't that thread. Today we want to know how you plan ahead. What things do you make so they can be frozen and cooked later?
source: thepioneerwoman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Feeling up the developing middle school girls is best left to their classmates, Mr. Assistant Principal
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
This is one way to get rid of a stalker. Not, you know, a good one
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Huckleberry Finn charged with sexual assault. Tom Sawyer still at large
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman charged with stabbing mother to death. :(
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shiny bust
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
A slideshow of dangerous animals in Florida. Watch out for the monkey that gives you herpes
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
VA and MD governors argue over who gave who crabs
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. In the middle of the Summer. During the last week of July"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Breathless MH370 correspondents planning Reunion tour
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeking Alpha)
 
 
 
South America facing a financial crisis not seen since the 1980s. Only needs the CIA to depose a few countries' leaders to really get that authentic '80s flavor
source: seekingalpha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man calls emergency services to report that his girlfriend let their cat eat his bacon. "I want to press charges"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A man is suing an airline, claiming he got a back injury after being forced to sit next to an obese man who coughed a lot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
This is the kind of quality programming I want to see on Fark
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
"If it weren't for that dastardly homeowner and his pulling up my ladder on me, I would have burglarized him good"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Whereas Kentucky's goats have trained and are prepared, Idaho's goats have apparently fallen victim to ISIS
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Cementing Florida's status as "America's Australia," park rangers capture and remove an 18-foot python, that likely fed on alligators, from an area of the Everglades known as "Shark Valley"
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
On the other hand, Teddy Roosevelt killed 296 animals on safari - and his ass is up there on Mount Rushmore
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you are driving around DC in a pick-up truck with a couple of hunting rifles, a .44 mag and a propane tank, you might be a redneck, but either way you'll want to refrain from driving up to a cop and asking directions to the White House
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Look at Renaissance art to understand why you're eating the watermelons you eat today... I know, slow news day
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
15 percent of Americans still do not go online, says newspaper hoping to sell them subscriptions
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Thank you for choosing our bank to rob. Please have a complimentary lollipop
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camping pod thingie
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ASU State Press)
 
 
 
Police pull over exotic dancer for DUI. During arrest, the woman kicks one officer in the chest, spits on the second, and repeatedly fondles the genitals of the third officer. First two officers annoyed that the other one seemed distracted
source: statepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Prisoners to get financial aid to take college courses while behind bars. As opposed to college students who take courses while in between bars
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Poland's richest man dies without buying a vowel
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
♪ Happy birthday to you, if you sing this we'll sue, but the Copyright Office might tell us fark you ♫
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Coming up next on TeacherCenter, the 2015 High School Draft
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
There's nothing worse than turning on the faucet only to discover you're filling your glass up with worm water. "There's these red ones, there's these black ones, almost look like tadpoles"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Obama is the antichrist. New hotness: Pope Francis is the antichrist
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Stairway to Heaven isn't a how-to record
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Remember: The rule of "finders keepers" doesn't really apply to a bag with $141,000 sitting on the lawn on private property
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Americans would be a lot less fat if we brought back the public water fountain
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
This is exactly what happens when you evict a vindictive psychopath from your apartment complex for owning a cobra
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
State of Georgia suing Public.Resource.Org claiming copies of the copyright law are a violation of copyright
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Birthday party cut short after scissors found in cake
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Your visit to France would not be complete without a complementary spraying of manure on your car. MERDE
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
If you put fireworks inside the SunRail ticket machine, police would enjoy a word
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
City commissioner upset with sewage problem he described as "third world bad" under fire for using a picture of Haiti and saying it was his city
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Dear Abby, I didn't realize my parents hide cameras around the house and am mortified to think they've caught me using my body like an amusement ride
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 534: "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2015
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Trooper lets girl decide whether dad gets a speeding ticket or not. She chooses wisely
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Walter "Lion Killer" Palmer once settled a sexual harassment lawsuit after he was caught trying to bag a few cougars
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
The hunt is on for the person or persons leaving car parts scattered in a vacant Detroit parking lot
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
You want a volunteer position where you can get handjobs as part of a prostitution sting? Maricopa County is looking for a few good men
source: phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Jack Donaghy endorses his friend Trump, says he's just what America deserves
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
...and jumping to the defense of the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion is Ted Nugent, who says the "whole story is a lie"
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gandalf shares his family recipe for eggs. Use butter, avoid frying pans and remember, YOU SHALL NOT POACH
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The British summer holiday is going pretty much as expected
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you're standing alone, without a dream in your heart; without a love of your own. If you know just what you're there for, if you're saying a prayer for someone you really could care for - well, there's this Friday
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Judge rejects claim that Maker's Mark bourbon was falsely advertised, or to blame for Fark outages
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(O RLY)
 
 
 
Photoshop this owl on the prowl
source: metrouk2.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Phoenix University is being investigated for aggressively targeting veterans to get a worthless degree
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
They spelled "Five simple ways to ruin a perfectly good steak" wrong
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXRT Chicago)
 
 
 
Duh
source: wxrt.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
While in the States, you have to get a 2nd job or 3rd mortgage to pay for your kid's college education. In Canada, you can use your frequent flyer miles
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
SyFy Channel assumes its ultimate form, orders show about blood-drinking cars
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU New Orleans)
 
 
 
Brain-eating amoeba found in Louisiana water, promptly added to endangered species list
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
State inspector says they only investigate theme park rides that cause injury or death, not the ones that *almost* kill people
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
10th Circuit Appeal court rules that sending an abortion doctor a letter saying that he should check under his car everyday to see if explosive had been planted, is less "exercising your right to free speech" and more "making a threat"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
We're very sorry our bias-free language guide offended you, loyal American. Lo siento
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Reminder, Friday is Johnny Weir Bobblehead night at Clipper Magazine Stadium
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jagran Post)
 
 
 
Large number of security personnel deployed to end violent riot sparked by unprovoked chicken attack
source: post.jagran.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Is it a printer? Is it a bucket of chicken? It's both
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wingnut)
 
 
 
Remember to make your Hooter's dinner reservations, It's National Chicken Wing Day
source: nationalchickenwingday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Panda in Taiwanese zoo accused of faking pregnancy to get better living conditions
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this quite tall celebrity
source: gdb.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A fitness instructor reveals he drinks breast milk to help him build muscle after buying it from strangers on the internet. "If only he drank it from a cup," said his long-suffering wife
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man accused of having sex with a shrubbery. Next, he must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
46,000 lbs of yogurt spilled onto roadway. Traffic was bound up for a while but seems to be flowing now
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Fleeing New Jersey has always been a good idea. But these days, it's looking even better
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inforum)
 
 
 
Industry tries to rebuild chicken flocks amid fears of avian flu recurrence. If only there were something else that tasted like chicken
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
ISIS plans to bring about the 'end of the world' by provoking a war between the U.S. and India. To be fair, we'd be in a bad place if we had to handle all of own our tech support again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Debris from CNN's favorite missing plane may have been found off the coast of Madagascar
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Small town sells votes for $1 each, draws the winner at random, and elected a 6-year old Mayor. Process still considered more trustworthy than E-voting
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Toddler gets dream Bart-themed birthday party. New Orleans Personal Injury Lawyer Morris Bart, that is
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
The Economist explains why Turkey called for a NATO Rule 34, err, Article Four consultation
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
NewsFlash
 
Cincinnati cop who killed unarmed motorist has been indicted on murder charges
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police officer caught on dashboard camera threatening to work after hours
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Never let your past determine your future," says 40-year old ex-stripper just before being arrested for a 1995 murder and dismemberment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Grumpy Cat has competition in the grump sector, see there's a new grump in town and his name is Grumpy Dog.... way more Grumpmudgeon than some little kitty
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Thief takes gas station cashier's expensive watch and makes his exit in twelve seconds. "It happened so fast it wasn't until I looked at my wrist I noticed it was gone." And see, people do too still wear watches. Ignore the cell phone companies
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Number 2 dead again? Will we have to call up a new Taliban number 2 to the courtesy desk
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense One)
 
 
 
WHAT
source: defenseone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Big game dentist defends himself saying, "I had no idea." Yeah, well as protest, I'm not flossing for a year
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two asking for trouble
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozy)
 
 
 
"The signal lasted only 20 seconds, never to be heard from again, and only one mysterious image made it back to the control room"
source: ozy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Head of construction company faces Brazilian corruption charges as part of the Petrobras scandal. Man, that's a lot of charges
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Are there over 9,000 people buried in unmarked graves within Southern city's slave cemetery? Let's find out
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Impromptu Farker Meet-up TODAY (7/29), 6:30-?, Santa Monica
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Disabled pilot meets little girl with same disability. There's no arm in that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
There's normal levels of idiocy, then there's "Telling an Australian Aborigine (and former Australian of the Year) that if he doesn't like the country he should leave (and should be deported)" levels of idiocy
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
(○) (○) \0/... (○) (°), (○) (•), (*) (.), (●) (°) [Not safe for work]
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
I'll take 175 pounds of the unintelligible naked baloney, please
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The future of the greatest sporting event on the planet is bleak as cities all over the world want nothing to do with it. "The Olympics is a money-draining machine capable of crippling a host city's economy"
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(Philly.com)
 
 
 
For a short time only, 20% more old-ass naked guy with every grande cappuccino
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Is this the end for the ACT and SAT? A) Yes; B) No; C) 42; D) A jar of almonds; E) Both A&C; F) Both B & D) G) E & D
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Happy birthday, Wil Wheaton! We miss you around here. Hope your birthday is a good one
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(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Another reason child beauty pageants should be outlawed: They just crush the feelings of the little snowflakes when they think they've won and haven't
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2015
(Time)
 
 
 
Oklahoma Governor has been hillbilly-shamed. Says daughter will move the trailer she has been living out of since April off the mansion's grounds as soon as she can get it off the concrete blocks and reinstall the wheels
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman keeps her ever waiting Sphinx-shaped end-of-life pod in her front garden because you'll never know when you'll need it for the big trip
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
JCPenney deems female employee's outfit "too revealing," sends her home to change. Difficulty: Outfit purchased from JCPenney's career section
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
Caller: "Hello, 911? My friend has been shot and is dying. Please help. What should I do?" 911 dispatcher: (•_•) / ( •_•) ⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) "Deal with it"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Pentagon is preparing a list of the laboratories which did not get anthrax
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Sixty-three years ago the Melbourne Argus became the first newspaper to print in full color. For our younger Farkers: A "newspaper" is a serial publication containing news printed on relatively inexpensive, low-grade paper
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(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Another routine traffic stop ends up with another black man dead, his face blown off. It was all caught on video, and what's on it is already causing Cincinnati to prepare for riots. Police Chief: "The video is not good"
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Transportation Security Administration in action, or Transportation Security Administration inaction?
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pornhub gives us the lowdown on what women really want from porn... besides you leaving the room
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida man does doughnuts on jail lawn. Why not? Cops like doughnuts right?
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-res image of Pluto
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Watching fat cartoon characters will make your kids fat
source: well.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Parents buy kids clothes printed with swear words because they don't understand English
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The strange, completely coincidental, tale of a former Russian intelligence agent's death via Polonium-210 poisoning mere months after calling Vladimir Putin a pedophile
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(Yelp)
 
 
 
The Minnesota dentist that shot and killed Cecil the lion is finding out that there's no rage quite like Internet rage: "I hope that Karma will be a ferocious biatch to you taking anything you hold dear"
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(CBC)
 
 
 
Colonel Stalker. In the bedroom. With the handcuffs
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not News: Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho get a couple inches of snow. Fark: In July
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
While many people have said that the Guantanamo Detention center is a cancer on the United States, they usually don't mean it this literally
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
It's the hottest week of the year, EVERYBODY PICNIC
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Old rich guy will continue to browbeat his daughters long after he's dead
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Heist movies in the UK are about to get a lot less interesting
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Best Korea could become a surfing destination. Kim plans to hang 10
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bar owner turns negative online reviews into genius advertising campaign. "Come and see why 7% of people don't like us"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Apparently "Operation: Governor Curtis" is progressing on schedule and according to plan. Muahahahaaaaa
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The customer service hall of shame results are in, and while you can probably guess all 10 companies on it, can you guess the correct order?
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: The best part of waking up is...
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(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
If convicted, will he file a banana peel appeal?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 ABC Toledo)
 
 
 
The Detroit area sucks so bad that residents have to patch the potholes themselves
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(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
While most of us hate junk mail, this twelve year old boy loves it because it's the only thing he could read...until his mailman stepped in
source: 7online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Woman who woke up in morgue later dies. At least, they're pretty sure this time
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stitcher)
 
 
 
Harvesting dead people's blood, a possible real life Jedi, and why almonds don't have nipples. It's the new Farkcast
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(Time)
 
 
 
You really should wash your cilantro before eating it
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This is no laughing matter
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(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Wood killed at Kum & Go
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(Business Insider)
 
 
 
If you absolutely always want to sound smarter, never say things or stuff that really just appears amazing, but maybe, honestly makes you wish you went for other words irregardless. This is literally very good advice
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Taxes are so high on millionaires that the federal government is giving them low-income housing
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(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Minnesota dentist accused of extracting Cecil the lion from Zimbabwe park
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered what 'Authentic American Food' is? Apparently, it's TGI Fridays
source: thelocal.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When penises are on your mind, everything looks like a penis
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Well meaning Vietnam Vet walks into Army recruiting center with a gun because he wanted to keep them on their toes
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(Exeter Express & Echo)
 
 
 
So you're saying you can't run around wearing only a pink wig and stick-on body jewelry?
source: exeterexpressandecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
You can hold a knife, you can take a healthy jog, or you can remove all of your clothes, but if you do all three at the same time, the community is bound to call the police on you
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(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Why Michigan's Sand Dune park requires more emergency rescues than Yellowstone National Park
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(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
New Dr. Seuss book released today. You can walk, you can run, you can hobble, you can wobble, you can bounce or you can pounce but make sure you get one
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(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption this microphone
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Sanford treasure hunters find $1 million in pirate gold, though Lamont will probably blow it all on one of his crazy schemes, the big dummy
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Vikings called the world's first adventure tourists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Scientists discover method for turning part of your body into a laser when it gets excited
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Scuba divers in Australia not really sure what creature the giant underwater sac filled with eggs might be, but that doesn't stop them from poking at it for fun. What could possibly go wR'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Judge throws out charges against school worker that allegedly had sex with student, and publishes picture of what an innocent person may look like, just to be sure
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(SFist)
 
 
 
Rare Indonesian "corpse flower" blooms at Berkeley's UC Botanical Garden, just in time for everyone to not go to Berkeley's UC Botanical Garden
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(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania city passes ordinance outlawing the discharging of firearms randomly into the air. Naturally, gun rights advocates had an issue with this, forcing the city to pass it for a second time
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(Uproxx)
 
 
 
To protest in-person the unveiling of the Satanic Temple's Baphomet statue you had to jump through several hoops, the last one being "sign your soul over to Satan." Checkmate, protesters
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(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Ekaterina Juskowski and her friend do a hot modeling shoot on Miami Beach then... wait... wait for it
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sheep inspection
source: cdn4.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Elon Musk, Steve Wozniak, and Stephen Hawking say killer robots are coming. Time to call Old Glory Insurance, and buy robot insurance
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(WIVB)
 
 
 
I scream, you scream, we all scream for... OMG THE ICE CREAM TRUCK DRIVER IS HIGH AND NOT WEARING PANTS AND I REALLY WANTED A CHOCO TACO (w/video)
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
20-year-old woman wakes up with morning wood
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
By all means, do update Facebook while you're at the horse track and billing for caring for kids
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Nobody in Pine Lake, GA knows if Forrest Rd is racist or not but they want one 'R' removed anyways
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NOPE
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kissing overtakes smoking as leading risk of head and neck cancers: "High-risk behaviours are oral sex, multiple kissing partners, and more recently there are reports even 'petting' can lead to infection"
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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Airplane forced to make emergency landing after running out of fuel and not bothering to check that the airport was closed before flight
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(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Prepearatory drinks may redush yaour drunkennesh
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you're ever traveling abroad, don't be an stereotypical Ugly American by blowing your nose in public, opening a gift in front of the person who gave it to you, or wiping your butt with your left hand
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(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Greek finance minister has solution to financial problems: hack own ministry's systems and create separate economy
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(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
The biggest list of deep-fried fair foods you'll ever need. Though if you eat even half of them, you'll be lucky to live without a triple bypass
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