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Sun May 31, 2015
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand midwives will be held accountable if they spread anti-vax propaganda, measles
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
NewsFlash
 
Congress has officially adjourned with no vote on the Patriot Act extension. As of midnight EST, feel free to resume sending your dick pics
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Morning News)
 
 
 
"Oliver Twist scenarios" are taking place on Britain's streets as children are tasked with pickpocketing, shoplifting and begging the question for Americans as to who this Oliver Twist is
source: westernmorningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Polish painter covers home in aluminum foil, calls it art
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Toronto suburb should have paid the $5/week Bear Patrol tax
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"The world's elderly are on a crime spree"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Because everyone deserves to drive, even people who take SIXTEEN times to pass their driving test
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Running garden hose allows responsible parties to dodge blame for landslide
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
Elderly woman beats off carjacker, then things get weird
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
If you're driving a busload of passengers down an interstate and drop your water bottle, just let it go, man, 'cause it's gone (at least until you can pull over)
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
China is developing an ATM with facial recognition technology
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Zoo employee in critical condition after being bitten by a dragon
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man gored to death by future steak
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
While you were complaining how you couldn't find your TV remote, meet the 92-year-old woman who just ran a full marathon today
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Radio International)
 
 
 
Where traffic cops aren't men or women. Or, well, both, at the same time
source: pri.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heartland Connection)
 
 
 
Someone walked into the Macon County, Missouri jail to bail out some other loser and got themselves arrested on drug charges. This is not a repeat from last week
source: heartlandconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Giant Rubber Duck Invades Philadelphia
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
If you're hot today in Midtown Manhattan, there's free air conditioning on the street at 38th and Madison courtesy of the crane that dropped it from 30 stories up
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Here's your 2015 Hurricane Guide, just in case you want to know when to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
German police alerted anonymously to unruly mob activity swarm area, only to find asparagus pickers
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Exeter Express & Echo)
 
 
 
Classy mum of the day asked couple if they wanted a threesome before telling another woman she was "too fat" to join
source: exeterexpressandecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Being that Shiba Inus are really humans in disguise, they certainly know how to chill out and have a good time like us
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tough guys doing tough things
source: cdn3.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kazakhstan town council: "Those are just...you know...plants, man"
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
What it's like to be a clown in an age when people think it's fun to hate and fear clowns. Strangely, no mention of porn
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Twenty-seven underrated U.S. vacation spots. Did YOUR favorite hidden gem make the list?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
11 bodies found at Ohio funeral home. Well, where the hell else would they be?
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Not News: Government worker caught watching porn at work. News: He's a politician. Fark: During a debate
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Jury acquits drug czar on felony possession charges despite the czar's full confession
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this: New photo raises doubt about police account of shooting
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police looking for one surprised-looking thief
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
There's low, and there's stealing clothes from a donation box low. At least the surveillance cameras worked
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today in Pointless Fear Mongering, "Is your neighborhood killing you?"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Another buzzed driving incident
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Not wanting to be outdone by Baltimore, Chicago's weekend gun violence sees two dead and twenty-one wounded
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Jaws was released 40 years ago and being eaten alive from the feet up on a sinking boat is still the most petrifying death scene ever made. You can keep your 'one in 3.7 million chance'
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
A "Use-of-Force" symposium put on by the Palm Beach Police Department brought together officials and citizens who wanted to see how police defined use of force and how they could avoid getting shot
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police forced to intervene in naked cycling event after one of the riders gets 'aroused'. SCHWINN (Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ex-Nazis received $20.2 million in Social Security benefits
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meteorologists say enough rain fell in Texas during May to cover the entire state 8 inches deep. Whoa
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this parental supervision
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAP News Center)
 
 
 
Man from Alabama goes to Ohio to steal $3000 worth of coins and gets arrested in West Virginia, all in an apparent plan for neck reduction surgery
source: thenewscenter.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Never spit in the street in Singapore. Especially not near the hotel where the U.S. Secretary of Defense is staying
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Norway's prisons are awesome vacation resorts, so why don't prisoners ever want to go back?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Please Master hand in your resignation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Woman found not guilty of screwdriver attack after it was determined she had something loose
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Say what you will, but Hillary would have back pedaled
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
When stealing a car you might want to make sure the car's owner isn't asleep in the backseat
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
Pig terrorizes town and craps in squad car, expected to be suspended two weeks with pay
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking, if you could just look out of the windows on the left side of the airplane, you won't notice the ground crew applying adhesive tape to the engine casing on the right side
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"That's it. I needed to go on the lam in order to test the quality of the security at the prison where I was locked up. Yup, that's it officers"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
Woman bails on taxi fare. Judge orders her to walk the entire length of the trip ... 30 miles
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent Journal Review)
 
 
 
Ancient Greek formula is used to find the world's most perfect body. And the winner, with a score of 96.4 is __________ ___________
source: ijreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Hey, if my kids don't get to the bus on time, "it's on them"
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Well free-falling into an airbag is a dangerous thing to begin with, right?
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman claims men aren't put off by her luxuriant pelt. Well, she is British
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Electronics recycling center: "If you anonymously dropped off an ultra-rare Apple 1 computer at our location, please return for your $100,000 check"
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
For only $310, you can out-hip your hippest hipster friends with genuine ant vodak
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"American universities are addicted to Chinese students'"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Oh Deer
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this heated race
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Camping Adventures
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
UK man finds a bullet in his glass of beer, immediately complains of eating in a low caliber restaurant
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Not news: A musician gets kicked out of the band for his behavior. Fark: An oboist for the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Gay Head icon slid gently along soap-lathered rails, snugly placed in new position on the beach
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Tribunal calls for firing of teacher who let students play a different version of seven minutes in heaven in a classroom storage closet
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over as Zoey the 8-week-old puppy who was stolen from the Humane Society of Southern Arizona has been found and will be going home with the family that adopted her soon
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2015
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man sues multiple parties $11 million for failing to warn him that butane is flammable
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
NewsFlash
 
Vice President Joe Biden's son, Beau, has died. Fark cancer
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Family finds out the hard way that there are old mushroom identifying apps and bold mushroom identifying apps, but no old and bold mushroom identifying apps
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Get arrested while drunk, physically attacked and have pepper spray discharged into your face? That's a $175,000 settlement
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Treasure trove of trash teems from toppled tractor-trailer. Oscar the Grouch demands tour of wreckage
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Spain agrees to support America being permanently Moronic
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
D.C. man featured on 'Catfish' now charged with terrorist threats
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these space geeks
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Man confronts his neighbor about vandalism to his vehicle. News: Which escalates when he throws a cup of coffee at his neighbor. Fark: The neighbor comes back with a machete and slices off two of the man's fingers
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
So much fail: A 17 year old accused of stealing a car from a dealership and crashing said car, and claimed to be an FBI agent
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police dismantle elderly cocaine trafficking ring after executing successful sting operation known as Operation Grumpy Old Men
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
President Obama declares Texas a disaster
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man who mailed drug-laced letters to prison inmates will get to a chance to see how many people are willing to correspond with him via prison mail
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
French farmer who killed truffle thief shuffles off for the next eight years
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zero Hedge)
 
 
 
Sociopathic cokehead investment banker causes extensive damage to innocent SUV
source: zerohedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
8.5 quake off coast of Japan, or Saturday as it's known locally
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Eight-legged hairy bunch of Nope crawls out of man's ear, back in
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
"I was walking my dog, and there was a very tall man, about 6 feet 1 inch tall, running aggressively behind me, and I was very scared, because I'm pregnant and knew I couldn't get away very fast. He was completely naked. All he had was sneakers on"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Michigan police got the dirt on diving excavator relocator
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Every drone that's sold in the United States, whether it's made here or abroad, can have built into the drone itself a mechanism that doesn't let it fly in certain places." stated the US Senator
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
🎶..Cat Scratch Blindness..🎶
source: news360.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Urban Dictionary defines Michigander as 'A driver, usually from the state of Michigan, who drives in the left lane, refusing to move over.' And Michigan drivers have been notorious for doing this for 50 years"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Judge quotes Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry in human rights rant at murder trial and it wasn't the quote you think it was
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois police will make their victims pay for their body cameras
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BizPac Review)
 
 
 
There are a lot of ways to show confidence in your product. Having somebody take a rifle and shoot you in the groin shouldn't be one of them
source: bizpacreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Police in Queens seek help in finding brazen gang that keeps attacking their hangout
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just like many elder Al Qaeda fighters were US trained because of the fight against the Soviets, many ISIS members are US trained because of the fight against terrorism
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Xinhua)
 
 
 
"Vancouverites are feeling defensive this week after being labeled by The Economist magazine as a mind-numbingly boring city that has become too safe and predictable"
source: news.xinhuanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to drive around in a rental car you 'borrowed' from a friend, make sure a cop's stolen badge and a pile of electronics are not in it
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman arguing with relative inside Burger King pulls gun, is promptly shot by cop
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"This is why you should never let yourself be distracted by your phone when you're in snake country"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony is getting paid top dollar for her story
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
California's drought has just reached BLACKWATCH PLAID status
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Police "help" mentally ill man--pulling him out of jail at 3 AM and putting him on a bus to Florida with a one way ticket
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
When you "start trying to oppress American citizens," people will fight back, says guy who seems confused why the American citizens he's trying to oppress are fighting back
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(moneytips.com)
 
 
 
More than two-thirds of US employees suffer from work overload. Present company excluded
source: moneytips.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldWide Weird News)
 
 
 
Etiquette tip: Even if you're really drunk at a party, it's not good manners to snort the host's dead mother's ashes
source: worldwideweirdnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When at night stanley charlie went a'missin'/ They thought he'd gone to the river a'pissin'/ By the mangroves at night/ Said the crocodile 'just right'/ Left the good folks by Endeavour a'fearin'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
In America we do not hunt for food with slingshots in city parks
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"By doing this, Congress has handed over a sacred Native American site to a foreign-owned company for what may be the first time in our nation's history"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Brazilians love new bible-based soap opera. It probably helps that you know which characters are going to come back from the dead in advance
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Not news: Cat gives birth to four kittens. News: In a bird's nest
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
Audio
 
What could you do with 26 million American Express points? Should you get 900 first class flights to Europe or maybe the 56 foot metal storm shelter? Eh, just ask this FIFA executive, he knows
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
Man rams his SUV into his mom's house and nearly killed her over a financial dispute. Like that is going to help him become her favorite son
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
103-year-old twins find that they can't live apart for more than a few weeks
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Detroit police would like to thank an unknown individual torching abandoned buildings, see if there is anything they can do for him
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Armed bikers wearing "Fark Islam" t-shirts and holding cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed will protest religious terrorism at mosque
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Ware drug raid, ware?
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lil' Bunny Sue Roux, a two-legged 'bunny cat' becomes Instagram's latest feline sensation. Have a hopping good Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Possible sniper on the loose: Two random shootings in Northern Colorado are linked by ballistic evidence. FBI offers $10,000 reward for information leading to arrest and conviction of person or persons responsible: "The public needs to be vigilant"
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
The Pentagon: Yeah, about that live anthrax we sent out... turns out we sent them out to more laboratories then we first thought. But there is no need to panic, this was our bad and we will investigate until we know how it happened
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sex offender with 28 previous offenses scores number 29 after grinding against a subway passenger. And while his next offense will earn him free representation, his mother claims that he is just looking for a wife
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
You know those scary looking bills that some fish have? Turns out that yes, they can kill you with them
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man who tried to kill George Zimmerman will try the "Stand Your Ground" defense
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Animal control officers called to protect neighborhood from stuffed tiger
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Look I realize kids are trying, but if you can't wait until you get home to shoot up heroin, you have no business being a teacher's aide
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
WV Man sues Dept of Ed, claiming teaching of evolution is preventing his daughter's dream of becoming a veterinarian
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
If you have one bucket that holds two gallons and another bucket that holds five gallons, how many buckets do you have?
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
In a stunning reversal, a Hooters waitress wants to put HER organ into a male customer
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
A group of students are shocked, SHOCKED that California history textbooks only portray the things they want you to know about
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Feds reveal what it was like to be a 'Realfella' for the infamous 1978 Lufthansa cargo hanger robbery after disclosure of their most detailed evidence to date
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a short week. Let's face it--nobody was working very hard. That's why you'll do well at this week's Fark Weird News Quiz. Well, everybody except that one guy. You know who you are
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
World's most expensive house now being built. Estimated cost is $500 million, not including cable
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
MassDOT's $90 toll for crossing the Tobin Bridge was too greedy even by government standards
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
So long, Little Buddy
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drinks Business)
 
 
 
Wine expert hails wine and weed pairings. Hurrah
source: thedrinksbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wall-walkers
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How many Orange County prosecutors does it take to violate the constitutional rights of one mass murderer? All 250 of them
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Ever hear of the prank where you set alarm clocks to go off in your school lockers? Turns out that's a felony
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And... here... we... go
source: en-maktoob.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Dispute over last remaning BBQ rib leaves one woman with a piercing stare
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Look, this is getting tedious. No, I didn't try to kill this guy, either. What's with you guys?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
SAT results were mysteriously lost, which is exactly what subby has been telling people for years
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen, cracking Lake Baikal in southeastern Siberia
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
$209 a pound "artisan" 20-year-old, cheese. You can't have any because you're not hipster enough, you're poor, and it's already spoken for
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Dukes of Hazzard was just a TV show and that's no way to exit a parking garage, grandpa
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
No officer, grabbing a masseuse's hand and putting it on your junk it NOT sexual assault. Well, it IS, but SHE is not the one doing the assaulting
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
"So ... you're ... gay???"
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now)
 
 
 
Why'd the Florida man slash the woman's tires? She got to the bingo hall B4 him
source: scrippsmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Woman buys a baby photo of somebody from decades ago, finds the person who was the baby in the photo thereafter
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Bartender found guilty of shooting patron 56 times. Wait, scratch that. After he served the patron 56 shots
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
This is the church / And this is the steeple / Watch the lightning strike / And scare all the people
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
L.A. Mayor hopes the film "San Andreas" will get residents to prepare for a major earthquake. Just like "Titanic" helped prepare travelers taking a cruise with Carnival
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Police arrest two women running a risky business near high school. Unclear if large numbers of savings bonds were also found
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Astorian)
 
 
 
Beach balls have multiple purposes. You can play with them, bounce off them, attack sea lions with them
source: dailyastorian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Should YOU go bronde?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
FIFA admits to being super villains, but did not time travel
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Apparently Siri knows the home phone number of CT Governor Dan Malloy and if you ask, she will just connect you
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Someone is pointing a green laser at airplanes flying over Long Island. ISIS? Could it be ISIS? Wait a minute...green? Jade is green, isn't it? ISN'T IT?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Canada scraps 'tampon tax'. Well, it's bloody well about time
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Father charged with child neglect after his baby was found crawling around the street in the nude, the family's loyal pit bull in tow. "Dogs don't make the best babysitters. Especially those dogs"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Underwear sales figures show that 'granny panties' are the next big thing
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The U.S. is producing so much oil right now, our refineries are almost at capacity and we're looking for new customers to sell our surplus to. No, this is not an alternate Earth or a temporal side-effect of the Large Hadron Collider
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Texas floods force Anheuser Busch to properly label their cans
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"You can't keep that bear, you don't have the permits to do so"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you build it, they will go somewhere else
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Indian authorities arrest suspected Pakistani spy. Difficulty: Pigeon
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Introducing the two horsepower garbage truck. This is not a repeat from 1798
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to be less racist? Just try sleeping more
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy divers to help Confederate ironclad rise again
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
It's raining cats and dogs on I-95 in New Hampshire and that's not an euphemism
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Criminal mastermind smashes glass door, walks down middle of street in broad daylight holding 51-inch tv over his head - gets away with it?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
19-year-old college student places Craigslist ad seeking to "rent a family" to spend time with on her birthday, because she grew up in a series of foster homes
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Best teacher ever accused of showing before-and-after photos of her boob job to students. Wait, a teacher can afford a boob job?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Is that a U-Haul truck at the crematorium? ... I think they're taking bodies out of that U-Haul truck"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
Gallup poll finds Mississippi as the fattest state, with 35.2% of the population considered obese. There is a word for the other 64.8% who aren't yet at a dangerous level. Tourists
source: gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Congratulations, you've just won a $650,000 settlement with the police department over them beating the crap out of you. Here's your check, and oh, by the way, a warrant for your arrest on 14 felonies
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Are you concerned that your number of sexual partners is unusually high? Or that the number is so low it's pathetic? Well, Slate presents the Sex Partner Calculator to tell you just how proud or shamed you should be
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Senior class cancels class trip, donates $8,000 towards health care costs to their principal who is fighting cancer
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this modern-day biker
source: greenevolution.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A woman called the police to ask for help with her suicidal boyfriend and they arrived armed with assault rifles, asked her to wait outside and then shot him dead"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Now that's what I call real drag racing
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
7am: Have sex. 8:30am: Tackle your hardest task. 10am: Go shopping. 1:30pm: Eat lunch. 5pm: Get some exercise. 7pm: Drink some wine. 10pm: Go to bed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The terrorists have won; no Muhammad drawings will be displayed on Washington buses or subways
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Russia has fielded a full team of Politics Tab players, hoping to win the World HOTY while FIFA is away
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Not news: Deputies respond to domestic dispute. Fark: Gator vs. Horse
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Totally Sane Guy)
 
 
 
The Blue Bell Ice Cream listeria outbreak was just a story so the government can use the ice cream trucks as mobile refrigerated mortuaries
source: allnewspipeline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Teen athlete can't compete in Junior Olympics because she was bitten by a shark. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"You might call it a ... *puts on sunglasses* ... Wesson in stupidity. YEEAAAHHHH"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wells Journal (UK))
 
 
 
Look at the tits on that (Very safe for work)
source: wellsjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When most dogs are dying, they just want to be left in peace in a dark corner. But this guy decided to take his dying dog on a cross country adventure
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Yes, Virginia, there are people who consider the Duggar clown-car circus to be "too liberal"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Still no cure for cancer, but we have answered the age old question of why there are holes in Swiss cheese
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Well somebody is going to have a problem when a school's dress code for graduation includes using the term 'girls' for boobies
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
High Times' "Strongest Strains on Earth" issue intentionally excludes Colorado pot because it's TOO good: "The Denver Cup annually produces the majority of the winners, so we thought we'd showcase strains from other Cups around the world"
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There is a nearly indestructible virus out there that can survive boiling acid. And it just might be key in saving the human race
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando School District will now monitor all staff and students' social media accounts. Orwell's "1984" noticeably absent from summer book lists
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
To prove not all billionaire CEOs are heartless and greedy thugs, Chobani CEO will donate half of his wealth
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
An assault rifle used in seven unsolved Northern Ireland murders has been discovered on public display at London's Imperial War Museum
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass pygmy hippopotamus gives birth to ugly-ass calf
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
California legislature set to legalize the scourge of roadways
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Friendly the Clown arrested for getting too friendly with traumatic brain injury patient
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian oil company Rosneft signs up to be the next to have its industrial properties nationalized by Venezuela
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The Royal Society of Putting Things On Top of Other Things is apparently illegal in Boulder, Co
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
A Consumers Energy spokesperson said it is not standard protocol to patch natural gas leaks with rags
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
God is alive and well and living in Brooklyn...and he is pissed. So he sued them, of course
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Obama seizes control of the nation's water supply in an effort to, oh, who can even guess what nonsense they'll come up with this time?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Kirby Delauter, previously known for being Kirby Delauter, is back in the news for acting like Kirby Delauter. Kirby Delauter
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
When the anthropologists of the distant future study our society, this sixth-grader's written apology to an emergency dispatcher for calling 911 and shouting 'DEEZ NUTS' will be among the most valued primary documents
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Republican NC governor promises to sign bill allowing state employees to opt out of officiating weddings on religious grounds... And when I say 'sign', I mean 'veto'
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this robot rumble
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Got cancer? Maybe you should cut down on the semen
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
2,400-year-old 'bongs' used to smoke cannabis and opium are dug up in Russia. Willie Nelson thinks they might be the ones he lost
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Jade Helm hysteria, circa 1954: "all of the damage reports were composed of '5 per cent hoodlum-ism, and 95 per cent public hysteria.' Puget Sound residents had unwittingly become participants in a textbook example of collective delusion"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Do you cook with fresh produce from your own garden? Share with your fellow Farkers how you make the most of your green thumb
source: vegetable-gardening-online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this clean-up crew
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cow escapes slaughterhouse only to be shot at McDonald's
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Florida pilot's preflight checklist included half a bottle of Cognac, wine
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It was one small ban for mankinis, one giant step for an English seaside resort town: English resort sees crime fall after mankini clampdown
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Coming this weekend to NYC, nature's most awe-inspiring sight: ♫Manhattanhenge, where the A-list dwells. Where the bankers live and they do live well / Manhattanhenge where a man might be a man. Where the children drink coffee and eat whole bran♫
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
Antelopes in Kazakhstan no longer roaming, almost half of endangered species dead. Scientific theories include a lung disease or poisoning by rocket fuel from Russian launches at Kazakhstan's Baikonur spaceport. Either way they're not roaming
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Six things you learn by being the worst person on the internet
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Warning: That lower back tat may come back to bite you in the ass
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Think $39K is too much for a 3-yo's birthday party? Wait 'til Disney comes after them for the unlicensed Minnie and Mickey
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bournemouth Echo)
 
 
 
Pro tip for electricians: Check the wiring in your cannabis farm before it sets fire to your roof
source: bournemouthecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
A Burning Man festival in Israel ends up torching ancient remains by accident. Oops
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Putin: Those FIFA guys? Honest as the day is long. Incorruptible. Shining examples of human honesty and fair dealing. Pretty handsome too. Loved by their wives, Morgan Fairchild, whom they've seen naked
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man attempts to shoplift an AK-47 by stuffing it down his pants
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
One of the best investments ever made by America is well ahead of schedule and could be released this summer
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Mad Max: Fury Road fans find "Wilton Silver Color Mist" on Amazon. Hilarity ensues
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz admits he's on level 217 of Candy Crush Saga
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Info Wars)
 
 
 
Finally, the DOD is spending our money on something useful
source: infowars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Gay Head moved
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drinks Business)
 
 
 
Man gets drunk and illegally catches 122 sea bass
source: thedrinksbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this head growth
source: l1.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
These are some of the images you get if you attach a heart rate monitor to a dog and connect it to a camera so that a picture is taken whenever the dog's heart rate is increased
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
BAC of .145 has a new cover girl - who tried to leave the scene of her crash with no headlights and a flat tire
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
If you want to reignite the flames of desire in your ex-girlfriend's heart, setting her bedroom on fire isn't the best way to do it
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
The most irrational man in America is a tenured professor at Duke, suffered burns on 70 percent of his body when he was a teenager, and officiates the weddings of strangers
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Study reveals mental illness is a problem for those that cannot afford to treat it
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Indiana's marijuana-smoking church granted tax-exempt status, plans to test limits of controversial Religious Freedom law at first "worship" service: "I don't think they're going to come into the church and arrest us"
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Berkeley instituted a tax on soda in hopes of getting people to quit drinking it. Instead the city took in $116,000 in revenue the first month and people still keep drinking it
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Remember how Conservatives said that ministers would be jailed for following their conscience and religious beliefs on the gay marriage issue and Liberals were all, "nuh-uh"? Yeah, about that
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Decades after the events of World War II, the Germans still fear the bombs that didn't go off
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Remember back in the good old days when a cute airline stewardess could pose for some fun and playful pictures inside the engine well of her plane without passengers freaking out? "They couldn't believe what they were seeing"
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Ice cream sprinkles: serious business
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Evidentally the schools frown on teachers being drunk and passed out at their desk
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Anthony Weiner's unintended penis joke - by Dick Johnson
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Sun)
 
 
 
What happens when ISIS conquers you? Well that depends, women are sold into slavery. Men and teenage boys? Executed
source: winnipegsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Chicago cop to fight his firing over a photo pretending to hunt black men with antlers
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Vanya, the word you have to spell is 'troll.'" "Could you use it in a sentence?" "The troll enjoys expressing his displeasure on the internet about how Indian kids keep winning the National Spelling Bee." "Troll. T-R-O-L-L"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
I blame all y'all for ruining this prestigious once learned language
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barstool Sports)
 
 
 
New ice cream cone raising a Führer across India
source: barstoolsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Every glass of water you drink is almost 100% dinosaur wee
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Thieves break into a car, steal a pair of sunglasses and ignore a million dollar lottery ticket
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reporting: Teen drivers are putting everyone at risk on the roads
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The snow in Boston may not melt before summer
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
A hotel kicks out 30 guests after an argument erupts over a waffle-maker
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 525: "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2015
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Owner of carnival company to give free party to students who were excluded because they couldn't afford the $10 fee. "If I had known that there were kids not allowed to attend the carnival, I would have paid for them"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Guy records video of school buses constantly blowing through stop sign and exiting school grounds right onto busy street. Local news picks up story and confronts school district. Sign mysteriously disappears and is later replaced with yield sign
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news, D.C. Farkers. The American Freedom Defense Initiative is planning to use your Metro system as its next canvas for cartoon images of Muhammad that celebrate free speech. Thanks for having the courage to stand with them
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Strange, now that it's underwater, Texas not so scared of FEMA
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
What's a Grecian urn? Probably not enough to pay for this
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Über-trendy coffee bar
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
You know your rehab isn't going so well if your sober coach abruptly quits and leaves you in Mexico
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pentagon "inadvertently" releases anthrax spores into Texas and California one month prior to Jade Helm
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Breast cancer could be "stopped in tracks by cheap drugs," in today's story you're not hearing much about on American news networks that run a lot of pharmaceutical ads
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Student suspended for sharing his ghost pepper with classmates. "I was told that it's equivalent to giving someone LSD"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Havasu News)
 
 
 
Drone buzzing Memorial Day tourists in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, brought down by unmanned aerial T-shirt
source: havasunews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Two damn dirty apes have lawyered up and are in court applying for "personhood"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Dan Savage wants to make Duggar the new Santorum: 'Clearly duggary needs to be a word'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-up guy
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackmore Vale Magazine)
 
 
 
"He will be sadly missed, both for his propensity to consume stale bread and cake, along with his ability to toss upstart young moorhens all over the place." Somerset village to hold funeral for popular local duck
source: blackmorevale.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Judge who used Facebook to deride criminals in her courtroom resigns
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's so damn hot in India that the roads are melting
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Seagull photobombs precision flying team at Wales air show
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Its okay now. Both engines seem to be back on now. Feel free to move about the cabin, change your shorts"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This is an Air France Boeing 777 with 37 people on board please divert your course now. This is a volcano, your call
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
If flooding and washed out homes and roads wasn't enough now Texans are having to deal with floating balls of AW HELL NO
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
India's tallest man (8ft 1in) tells what it's like to live the high life
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Do dogs like cats or do cats just hate dogs?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
World Trade Center's observation deck opens. It's a towering 360 degree view of NYC
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Finally, an article that leads with a question that can be answered YES
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Take my last BBQ rib? Fork you
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Here are photos of the arrested FIFA officials, a dream team of subjects for caricature artists, photoshoppers and captioners
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Pilot of MH370 was on his way to buzz the tower at Diego Garcia when plane went missing
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Moron.com)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for biting off pit bull's testicles. Not sure who's the victim here. Also not sure if this mug shot is the woman or the pit bull
source: moron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man missing for 23 years found submerged in Citation. Please
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Leading environmental scientists develop plan to solve California's drought crisis: tax organic farm products, which are less efficient than non-organics, to drive down demand and improve efficiency. CHECKMATE, HIPPIES
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China says it is the rightful owner of the South China Sea and all its land because it wants it and always has. In other news, subby owns Jessica Alba and the Pacific Ocean which will now be referred to as "Duke Sucks Ocean"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Drunken kilted carjacker detained"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Auckland, NZ police searching for a man trying to be Superman with a speeding locomotive, say he left shoe marks on engine before running away
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Ron Jeremy caught standing naked on a billboard. (Possibly not safe for work)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Idaho man survives direct lightning strike to the head which shredded the clothes off his body
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Homeless man arrested for panhandling and urinating in public. Cops put his photo on Facebook along with helpful announcement that since he had $800 in cash on him he doesn't really need your money anymore, kthxbye
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Internet Archive)
 
 
 
Duggar cached website: "Rape and incest represent heinous crimes and as such should be treated as capital crimes"
source: web.archive.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
"Wreckage found after sailor goes missing in boat made of car parts"
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Colonial Williamsburg to offer live fire musket range for tourists to experience the Second Amendment the way our founding fathers did
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
♫ Life is like a hurricane here in Hartford. Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck-blur. Might solve a murder mystery ♫
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Cute: Your dog races your car down the driveway. Awesome: Dolphins surf the bow wave in front of the nuclear submarine you're testing
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo UK)
 
 
 
Meet Charlie, the Web's newest urban legend. You can summon him and stuff
source: gizmodo.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Why you shouldn't enter your PIN without checking the amount on your bill: it could cost you in £223,000 for six beers
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Texas earthen dam failure damn "imminent". Link goes to live feed(Update: officials now say dam will hold)
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Suspicions were first raised about Boyd Holder, a pastor in Tennessee, USA, when he was caught by local police allegedly having sex with a man in a van belonging to the Victory Apostolic Church where he worked"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
• Illusion of understanding • Illusion of control • Not News • Fark.ppt
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Scientists fight fire with fire - use herpes virus to successfully treat cancer. "About 10 per cent of the patients treated experienced a complete remission"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quincy Herald-Whig)
 
 
 
Unless you have some time to kill, don't ask this Illinois couple to show you pictures of their grandchildren. They just had their 100th. "There's always room for one more"
source: whig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab (UK))
 
 
 
"Baffled police say it's the first time they've ever had someone steal a steering wheel"
source: bath.tab.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop what really has the fans scared
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My mother-in-law acts like she's the mother to my kids. She wrote a story for my daughter where a girl's parents died and she went to live with the grandparents and said it was a happy ending. Should I fear for my life?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ruh Rho
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
29 shot, 9 dead in Ballujah over the Memorial Day weekend
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Standard Digital (Kenya))
 
 
 
Well this is awkward: Kenyan lawyer wants to trade Malia Obama for 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats during the President's summer visit. (From the comments: "Imagine how many Cherutos you can get with that type of dowry")
source: standardmedia.co.ke   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Pot-friendly hotel finally opens in downtown Denver: "Other hotels will fine you crazy amounts and kick you out. I've been kicked out of a hotel for smoking pot, it was a few years back, but that's the kind of stuff that won't happen in our hotel"
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Spain's massive human tower competition puts the USC's cheer squad to shame
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Texas legislators feverishly working to ensure women of all incomes have access to cervical and breast cancer screenings. Oh wait, scratch that, reverse it. They're gutting all state funds because fark poor women, that's why
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Texas floods were powerful enough to raise the dead
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the newest "Human Barbie." She's a 26-year-old Russian hottie whose parents choose her clothes and refuse to let her date, but they totally approve of her raunchy photos. She's never even had a boyfriend (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFBay.ca)
 
 
 
Life-size bronze Jesus Christ vanishes off church cross
source: sfbay.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
A rookie mistake many first time drug dealers make is arranging sales via Craigslist (Bonus: This is your mugshot .... ON WEED)
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Paula Cooper, the youngest person on Death Row, is no longer so
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Scotland)
 
 
 
When Scotland passes better education policy it's time to admit Fark needs a Texas tag too
source: heraldscotland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Bad day: You crash into a fire hydrant and the water opens up a hole in the road. You go to inspect the damage and get locked out of your truck so you have to kick in the back window. Then you try to drive away and fall into the hole
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know you're smug when people can literally smell the happiness wafting off from you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Students release ladybugs into their school- 72,000 of them to be exact
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teacher has sex with twelve year old, is acquitted of rape charges, and wants to teach again. Why yes, it was a female teacher because a guy would've been convicted
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Cleveland police to stop hitting people on heads with guns, will just go back to using bullets
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Forget karaoke, darts, trivia nights, British pubs find a more realistic way to draw patrons (Not safe for work)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
U.S. kicks preemptive goal against FIFA
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
According to the report, as police were removing him from the plane, he was yelling, "Y'all are dicks"
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2015
(CNBC)
 
 
 
You can sleep tight knowing that the IRS is so secure that only 100,000 records were stolen in the latest hack
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This handy new calculator shows how much you could have made if you'd invested in the stock market instead of paying for your wedding
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man and his best friend decide to test a bulletproof vest. Since you're reading this on Fark, you know how it ends
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What everybody seems to be forgetting is that Australia never gets cold enough for the Gorillas to freeze to death
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Marine who fought in Iwo Jima gets back a Japanese regiment flag he captured in the battle. Bonus: Subby's first kiss was with his granddaughter
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
"Officer I will even lick your butt hole"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this volcanic reflection
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in bacon
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Marine court-martialed for defending God... and disobeying a series of lawful orders
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Hundreds of TSA badges missing at airport, authorities worried people may impersonate incompetence and groping
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Popular televangelist says that if a man masturbates, his hand will be pregnant in the afterlife
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The gun grabbing has begun. Target: Ohio
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ladyfinger excitement gets Italian town in a creamy lather
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Why do people waste so much time at the office? Well, for one thing, that poo on the politics tab isn't going to fling itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man asks city to ban fart smells
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop what Fearless Leader is looking at
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Not news: Summe