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Sun May 24, 2015
(KSNT Topeka)
 
 
 
If you left 9 brains on a street near railroad tracks in Governeur, New York, police would like to have a word with you
source: ksnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Begun the circumcision wars have
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
NOAA would like everyone in Oklahoma to know that all weather radios in the state are down due to a cut fiber cable. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
One of the little-known features of Uber is that drivers can cancel pickups after they see how other drivers have rated you. But this one magic phrase guarantees you 5 stars every time
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hole
source: a.disquscdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good idea: Tipping your waitress. Bad idea: Trying to put the money down the front of her shirt (w/video)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
You have only five weeks left to block the fast lanes of Indiana Interstates
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"We're of the belief here at UCF that if you flunk a class, you should pay more"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til someone steals Harry Truman
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
When picking a car for your 100 mph drunken joy ride try to avoid the one with "student driver" logos
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Craft beer drinkers are finally discovering this thing called "Lager"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Sword wielding man in an elf costume attacks a BMW. Apparently Ganon was driving in Portland on Saturday
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Burning tanker shuts down major freeways. Just another day in Detroit
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this specialist and his specializations
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Having quadruplets is not that unusual ... unless you're 65, and already have 13 kids
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If a woman offers you a massage, make sure it does not involve tying you to a bed and setting you ablaze first
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Caught fooling around? Science has a new defense: infidelity lurks in your genes. Warning: big scientific words, though the plus side is that if you learn a few you'll sound more convincing as your mate brandishes the cast iron pan
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Must have been a good night drinking. Thieves steal a government vehicle from a storage lot and took it on a joyride for six hours. They then returned it
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
"Despite the UK's advances in modern medicine this episode has all the finesse of improvised surgery on Nelson's flagship during the Battle of Trafalgar"
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Four reasons why feeding bread to ducks is stupid: "It's junk food for ducks"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyWay News)
 
 
 
SURE they are...
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Undercover PETA operative files complaint because sheep shearers were swearing (Some Not safe for workish images in article)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Yunessan Spa House in Hakone, located in south-eastern Japan, offers relaxing ramen baths as part of its total spa experience. The baths are filled with a ramen pork broth and synthetic noodles (they're not allowed to use the real thing)"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio asks the public for help paying his legal fees. That's the joke
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Devon Journal)
 
 
 
"The operation was making so much money that when a VW Golf that they were using was seized by police, nobody bothered trying to get it back"
source: northdevonjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Bacon arrested after dispute over sausage
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
World's oldest person turns 116. Is one of only three remaining people born in the 1800s who is still alive
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Among the new animal species discovered in 2015 is a frog that gives birth to live tadpoles, a pufferfish that makes elaborate designs in the seafloor sand to attract mates, and a spider that does cartwheels when threatened
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radikal Foto)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this woman is measuring
source: s017.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: A day in the crowd
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Pot heads arrested at pot convention for selling pot
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Cool: Immigrant couple leaves entire $847,000 estate "to America." Not cool: "At the rate the federal government spends money, the $847,215 left by the Petraseks will be used up in about eight seconds"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
You're drunk in the afternoon in your trailer next to the church. There are a bunch of screaming kids outside playing volleyball in the parking lot and all you have is your BB gun. What do you do, deputy?
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Fire 49 times into a car, killing an unarmed man? That's a ... well, not even a slap on the wrist. And yes, plenty of people have a problem with this
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bakersfield Now)
 
 
 
Iraq war veteran who lost his legs in combat finds a brand new friend in a rescue dog named Tango who is also missing a leg. "Being as I'm an amputee, as well, we thought ... maybe we could teach each other a few things"
source: bakersfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Some potatoes have more iron than others
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Twelve blind teenagers are preparing to hike at the Grand Canyon, making those of us with perfect vision look lazy
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Woman attempts selfie, gets a great shot
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
From the heart of beautiful downtown Juneau it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of music hosted live by a farker, starting at 9PM AKDT/10PM PT
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A veteran's thoughts on why we shouldn't say Happy Memorial Day: "It's the one day on the American calendar meant to exemplify what it costs to be American and to be free... and we've turned it into a day off work, a tent sale and a keg of beer"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Turns out that the anti-gay pastor in Michigan who was outed via Grindr told a gay teen that he was better off going to Hell for suicide than for being gay
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2015
(WTOP)
 
 
 
He got better
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Apparently it was legal to add one's special sauce to a meal before
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Students are shocked, SHOCKED that someone would change their yearbook quotes to say things like 'Want to hear the most annoying noise in the world?' and 'The only negativity around here should be a pregnancy test'
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brandon Sun)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Police itching to find suspect in rash of genital flashers"
source: brandonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man finds himself the owner of the only Porshce 911 ever made
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Half-naked man left taped to traffic lights by pals wearing nothing but underwear." What more do you want? (SFW pic)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
This is why Dancing With Machetes never caught on, although it's a lot more watchable than Dancing With The Stars
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these birds over a palm
source: cdn2.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vandals cause "irreversible damage" to inflatable dam in San Francisco area, resulting in loss of 50 million gallons of water
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Waco declares May motorcycle safety month. No, really
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri limits revenue cities can raise from speed traps, but does not limit revenue cities can raise from grass length violations. And rulers are cheaper than radar guns
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Sure, go toe to toe with a MIG a couple times and they call you "Maverick." But drive your trainer off the runway into San Diego Bay just once, and spend the rest of your life with people calling you "Shamu"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Giant, buff kangaroo stalks residents, has to be at the gym in 26 minutes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"What's interesting, 'cause it's spring, they're pairing off now. That one junco that visited, he's got a buddy, he's got a female that visits with him regularly now. Yeah, they've hooked up. It's like a bar romance"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
Fark foodies, here's what you need to know about cast iron. As an added bonus, some myths busted
source: seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this center of attention
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
For anyone hoping for an independent review of police records regarding the Duggar family molest-a-fest, we have some bad news
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Decatur Herald-Review)
 
 
 
Bowling alley robbery reported, woman struck over head with ball. Police watch video surveillance, ask "Are you sure that's how it happened?"
source: herald-review.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Florida News-Press)
 
 
 
"If somebody came through having the worst day of their life, if I can make them smile for just a second, it was worth it because that was one second of that day that they found something worth smiling about"
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Apple Insider)
 
 
 
iPhone saves man from gunshot wound to the chest. Teddy Roosevelt unimpressed
source: appleinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Over the past year, anti-NSA pranksters have hidden dozens of mini tape recorders under tables and benches around New York City, secretly taping people's conversations. This week, they launched a website where they've posted them"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 4)
 
 
 
"The front page of Adult FriendFinder, which is based in California, features photos of dozens of attractive young women. Yet the hacked user data, contained in 15 spreadsheets, reveals how few females appear to use Adult FriendFinder"
source: channel4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"We get a lot of compliments about the way the TV is mounted on a beer keg, but I don't think anyone has ever come in here and not said this place is a shiathole"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Today's seemingly innocent competition you played growing up that is apparently killing children left and right: Underwater breath-holding games
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Annual list of the top ten beaches in the U.S. includes Coast Guard Beach in Massachusetts. Swimmers overwhelmingly enjoy the three days out of the year it's warm enough to actually go in the water
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here are some foods you might have to pay a lot more for, thanks in part to this whole California drought thing
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When garden gnomes and a pond just won't cut it, a Soviet Rocket makes the perfect lawn feature
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12News Phoenix)
 
 
 
Ever want to have all the amenities of a five-star hotel in the middle of the woods? A concept called "glamping" does just that
source: 12news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Sorry, but you're doing push-ups incorrectly. Now read this, drop down, and give me 20
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this view on the wall
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Is it safe?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Virginia cop resigns after learning that a Taser and pepper spray isn't the correct treatment for someone who may be having a stroke
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A tabby cat named Baby needed to be rescued from the undercarriage of an old Volkswagen Beetle. He is looking forward to some Fahrvergnügen time on Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
News: Awesome report from PBS on how Colorado's legal marijuana is affecting Nebraska. Long story short: They are raising property taxes to give the cops more money to arrest pot heads (w/video)
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Professor plans to burn a confederate flag on Memorial Day in hopes of sparking conversations about the meaning of the flag. And not surprisingly someone has a problem with this
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOAI San Antonio)
 
 
 
Mexican standoff ends with 40 dead
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Slow speed police pursuit behind a Mustang convertible with "Victory Parade" on door. To be followed by Taser party and then excessive force fiesta
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
College professor: Americans can't handle gun ownership
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's your slightly early copy of the Fark Weird News Quiz, for that handful of you that haven't left the office already or feigned illness
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Torching your place for the insurance? Don't get the policy 10 days prior, have an arson record, move your stuff to a storage unit with your gas cans and copy of "Introduction to Fire Origin and Causes," or plot how to spend the cash on phone in jail
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Black man holds white man at gun point, and then the Atlanta police arrive. You think you know where this is going?
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Which of the seven stages of grief is this again?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Neighbors complain of foul odor, pickle company says it's no big dill
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Naked man attempts to steal baby at graduation ceremony. Man, these senior pranks are getting way out of hand
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
American farmers believe the avian flu outbreak is now under control. By the way, your three-egg omelet will be $34.75
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Oklahoma man, who left school in 1943 to join the Marines and fight in World War II, finally receives his diploma after 72 years. "Nobody has ever heard me say I was a hero. The only heroes I know are the people that didn't come back"
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop our new robot overlord
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quoth the raven, "Holy shiat, WTF is that bear doing?"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Even in Texas, running sonograms at a flea market for entertainment purposes is against the health code
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Robert De Niro to NYU grads: 'You're f--ked'
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Torn from the Front Page of the Bangor Daily News: Day-old chicks cause cute ruckus at farm supply store
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
New $46K logo does not rate a TN with constituents
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Aurora shooting victim's parents have to pay gun manufacturer nearly a quarter of a million dollars. Because fark you, that's why
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese entrepreneur opens a restaurant called Forrest Gump that is staffed by people with learning difficulties and that's all I have to say about that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
You know your day is gonna suck when you fall down the stairs. You know it's really gonna suck when you fall down the stairs and out of an open window on the 5th floor
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: fun with a familiar landscape
source: hdwallpapers.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Heading to pick up some burgers and hot dogs for that Memorial Day bbq? Remember that the word "natural" on the label doesn't really mean anything. Of course, you're buying hot dogs, so maybe you don't care
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by North Carolina, Florida's random naked man sits atop a drawbridge (Not safe for work image in article)
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Farmer catches sex offender in his underwear, says he has no idea how he got in his underwear in the first place
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Earthquake measuring 4.2 in magnitude hits Kent in the UK, laying waste to tens of pounds worth of garden furniture
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
Because you just read it for the articles
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
From the "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" department: During mandatory weather evacautions, Floridians can now pack their guns with them
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Head transplant surgeon silences critics by saying they are just jealous they didn't think of it first
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, we've done it. We now have a robot that can read our minds, know when we want a beer, and serve it to us
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
We apologise for the fault in the correction. Those responsible for correcting the fault in the correction have been corrected
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to learn how to take a perfect shower? Granted, you should have learned all this when you were six or so, but it's always good to have a refresher lesson
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Incredibly angry man calls 911 four times to demand ride home and speak to "whoever runs Moron County" (w/ incredibly angry mugshot)
source: offthebeat.blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
List of ten best places for BBQ in the U.S. seems pretty spot on -- New York City? Get a rope
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Six out of eleven "Extra Virgin" olive oils tested don't meet standards, have apparently been seen hanging out with the Canola oils...and we all know how shameless Canadian oils are
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
As of today Pac-Man is now old enough to be president of the US
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
350,000 holes in Los Angeles, and while some may be quite small, it will cost $8.6 billion to fill them all
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cloudy with a chance of tarantula
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Charleston teacher gives back: $100 to each of her students. Fark: to double donations given to charities of their choice. That's just good math, y'all
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: That's one small step for...
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't want to pay for a prisoner's sexual reassignment surgery? Parole 'em. Problem solved
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Swatter swatted
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Before the first astronaut can plant the flag of Earth on Mars, there's a lot of things we need to figure out. Including what the flag of Earth actually looks like
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
More than a quarter of a middle-aged person's skin is "on the road to cancer", which was coincidentally the worst Hope/Crosby film ever
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Voting has begun. Ireland may be the first nation in the world to allow gay marriage by referendum
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Josh "The LGBT Community is a threat to children's safety" Duggar has confessed to molesting more than five girls and resigned from the Family Research Council. His parents knew for 12 years and covered it up
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC quad murder & child torture suspect captured by Metropolitan Police
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Having a property dispute with your neighbor? Stealing half his driveway will sure show him
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're going to shoplift, make sure you're not wearing clothes with your name emblazoned across it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
The next time you're looking for a romantic island getaway isolated from the rest of the world, think about visiting a former leper colony
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Alabama teacher, upset that students pranked her, says she hopes her victimizers get raped in jail
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The woman who ran over her husband with an SUV because he didn't vote in the 2012 election was just sentenced to 3 1/2 years in prison. Which means he's safe to skip out on 2016, but he better be registered by 2020
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you've ever used AdultFriendFinder.com, congratulations: The entire internet now knows your sexual preferences
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Although it sounds good on paper, I'm not sure if scientists should be trying to solve the mosquito problem by breeding cannibal mosquitoes
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Behold the most poorly written article about the most farked up thing you will read about all year
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you innocently post this totally hot selfie on Facebook and somebody thinks you look so good they take the picture and use it in a sex ad? Me too. "They posted me as wanting multiple sex partners"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
70-year-old woman barricaded in mobile home has held off cops for 19 hours now, unfazed by flash-bang grenade and police robot. Fark: she shot the robot. Double Fark: she called the cops to her place
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
There's drunk and then there's walking into a McDonald's in full scuba gear drunk
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Man erects 14-foot cross in Pakistan billed as "bullet-proof." Or, perhaps in Urdu they use the same word for "proof" as "magnet"
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
The world has gone to hell because men have stopped wearing suits and ties
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Barista, I'd like another, and make it a stiff one
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Sweden's most bizarre unsolved murder was committed by a vampire ... or not
source: truecrime.io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2015
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
"I guess you could say *puts on sunglasses* it was a drug-fueled arrest. YEEAAAHHHH"
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Why graduates dress the way they do, and not because they want to rub their whole superior 'I just graduated from high school' thing all over your stuff if you let them
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Driver jailed for disguising his car as ambulance while caring for sick wife
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass Clouded Leopard quadruplets born at the Tacoma Zoo
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Freddie Gray police officers indicted
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these attentive waiters
source: ribalych.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A third whale has struck San Francisco. Oh no, not again
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"Legalization threatens drug dealer revenue." Well, duh
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Rescued woman captive in a box for months to be placed back in a box
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The AP had a chance to review the security video of the Waco "biker brawl." Seems the official version may have a few more holes in it than all those dead bikers put together
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Pioneer Woman)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Memorial Day Weekend.. get your drinks, your grill supplies, your desserts, and then take a moment to remember those that are gone. Have food plans for the holiday? Show us what we have to contend with
source: thepioneerwoman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 19 Tyler)
 
 
 
Implosion of an East Texas town as city manager, police chief, the cop who beat up the police chief, and the two cops who recorded the city manager drunk at city hall are suspended
source: cbs19.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Missouri soybean farmers are using master baiters to showcase lubricants on their rods
source: mosoy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're married and having a sordid affair, try not to leave evidence lying around where others might find it. Like a sex tape and a bag of sex toys on a public bus
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
In France, drug dealers offer loyalty cards
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
110-year-old guy credits beer-a-day for long life; 47-year-old slobs everywhere now in hot pursuit of immortality
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry lion
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Shockingly, Hillary Clinton's email dump yet to reveal that she personally did Benghazi, all by herself
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jade Helm begins with the unveiling of Obama's new weather machine
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Sacramento burglars steal $8,000 in cash, electronics and pickles, resetting the 'days since last pickle burglary incident' clock to zero
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
One in seven people on the planet still live without electricity. No one had any idea that Duke Energy had that many customers
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Designers propose solution to create affordable beachfront living with just a little refurbishing. Okay, maybe a lot of refurbishing
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Pro tip: When you are the only other person inside a deli with a uniformed police officer don't steal his cell phone when he puts it down
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Now that the "Late Show" is over, the set is being enshrined in the Smithsonian. Just kidding. It's sitting in the dumpster behind the stuido
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"A radio caller contacted a show to complain about the police but ended up confessing to a 30-year criminal history instead" (w/ audio)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Dear Doctor, Thanks for performing my Caesarian five days ago. One slight problem - my bowel and intestines just fell out
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Eight charged in massive jewel heist. Inspector Clouseau always gets his man, though not always his rheum
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Things not to do after graduating from college: jump off a moving freight train
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you're building a sandcastle and a big bully kicks it down? Especially when you want to use that sandcastle to intimidate your neighbors?
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Google maps: "The President is near"
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
This reporter's attempt to buy a velvet painting of a black trucker Jesus on Craigslist for $1 from some dude with a racist girlfriend did not, surprisingly, go as planned
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police raid £1m 'professional' cannabis warehouse after. A) Month long surveillance. B) Tip from informant. C) Looking in the window
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
SWAT team successfully apprehends a sleeping drunk man, but fails to shoot him for reasons that are still unclear
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Self-driving trucks are going to kill jobs. Hopefully, only jobs
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When running from the law, do not return to the scene of the crime to get your lost hat
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Vacation's over. Back to school
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxers graduate from lethal ignorance to actively stalking people
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Lumber Liquidators, whose shares dropped 62% this year after a 60 Minutes expose on the high level of formaldehyde in its flooring products and a criminal probe for illegal lumber importation, says it CEO just resigned "unexpectedly"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Family house for sale. No HOA. How many bedrooms? Er, we're not quite sure. Let me get back to you on that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman awarded $83 million after collection agency sued her for $1,000 she never owed. Apparently turnabout is fair play
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kentucky couple dies during sex... in a car
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
Q: Why did the chickens cross the road? A: Because they were VIOLENTLY THROWN ACROSS IN A TRUCK ACCIDENT
source: wxii12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
♫ I see the blood moon arising / I see trouble on the way / I see earthquakes and lightnin' / I see those bad times today ♫
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"I do have sex fantasies about (Hillary Clinton). I imagine she's bisexual and that she's deeply passionate"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Detroit)
 
 
 
Sweet 16 party gets plane disgusting
source: myfoxdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Epileptic girl's seizures cut by 80 percent after parents move to Colorado. "Thank you cannabis," say parents. "Best parents ever," says daughter
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
New discovery reveals that 'Alien' was around during the Pompeii volcano blast 1,900 years ago
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Germany hires mimes to tell tales of how drinking too much can have serious consequences"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Gyrocopter pilot who landed at the White House due in court today, hopes he can make it quick so he can return to menacing Mad Max
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
DEA agents: Wait, you mean we're not allowed to have a side job running a strip club with hookers? That is some harsh shiat right there
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
"They went inside the home dressed in what looked like space suits; I knew it had to be ET or a meth lab"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Federal government showing no mercy in pursuit of motorcycle gangs, files motion to seize their trademarked logo. Next up: questioning them in the comfy chair
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
"The challenge results in young people daring each other, through Instagram and Facebook, to take excessive amounts of paracetamol and this is a matter of great concern"
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lunar closeup
source: albireo.vipower.pl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Japan decides that hunting dolphins isn't enough. Now they're planning on farming them also
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Man is upset that his flight is overbooked, so he does the only logical thing and strips naked in the middle of the airport
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Good news for middle-aged drug dealers in NYC, the police no longer want to arrest you
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Go home, sea lion. You're drunk
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
A guideline on the proper way to display the American Flag this Memorial Day weekend. It turns out you don't really have to burn yours if it accidentally touches the ground for a moment
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Insufferable coffee snobs and insufferable wine snobs and insufferable single malt scotch snobs have now been upstaged by in sufferable pot snobs. With photo gallery and description proof
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When it comes to colleges, we as Americans focus way too much on the prestige and brand of particular universities, says somebody who obviously went to Arizona State
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Father complains that Melbourne has removed his "love locks" from a bridge. "When I see my little girls' locks it reminds me to never give up trying to be a part of their lives." Because apparently he can't be arsed to look at the kids themselves
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Delta's new in-flight safety video is less WOW and more LOLWUT
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancity Buzz)
 
 
 
Asking the public for help naming your new ship is a good idea, unless the public hates you
source: vancitybuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
The US built a $25 million headquarters in Afghanistan that nobody ever wanted, wasn't needed or ever used. Why? Because fark you, that's why
source: projects.propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Black rhino targeted by the Texas hunter who paid $350K for the privilege manages to get the last laugh by dying before he gets there. So of course he just kills another one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 524: "Software Hootenanny 5" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Last year a Cleveland man was found wandering on the highway, covered with blood and his penis missing, after someone attacked him with a knife. Now he's been found dead. Cleveland police say there's nothing suspicious about any of it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
ISIS seizes control of Palmyra. Nothing to see here, move along
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
In response to Bill O'Reilly's denial of their story about allegations of physical abuse toward his wife, Gawker says fark it and does it live via court transcripts
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Please list your highest education attained, if you have ever been convicted of a crime, and the name of your next of kin we should contact in case of martyrdom"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man claims stuffed owl is his public defender. Judge: ORLY
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence, I am obsessed with the bathroom habits of my coworkers. Should I talk to them about this?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orbital occupation
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
If you come back from two kamikaze missions, it's obvious you're not even trying
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Journal)
 
 
 
Rand Paul is filibustering against the Patriot Act and NSA spying right now and no this has nothing to do with him trying to raise money for his presidential campaign
source: nationaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced this NPR reporter with a computer and had it generate a story on the same topic we assigned him. Who did a better job?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Approximately 1,000 weapons were found at the scene of the deadly Waco biker gang fight. So with 170 arrested and 9 killed, that's... *cranks handle of old-timey adding machine* ... approximately 5.6 weapons per gang member
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Thousands of rush-hour drivers cry over spilled milk
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police called in when someone spots Calvin pulling a Mitt Romney on Hobbes
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"911, please state your emergency." "Yes, we're at Costco, and there's a naked man walking around the parking lot and waving his machete at us." "Okay, we'll send police out right--wait, was that a euphemism?"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How death metal cured my hatred for yoga, cookies
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Today in Texas' education system: "The worms were able to just slide down the throat, but I actually had to chew the frog"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eNews Channel Africa)
 
 
 
Truck carrying 28,000 liters of sulfuric acid overturns. "It smelt like jik and made me start coughing"
source: enca.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So setting your parachute on fire is a bad idea. Who knew?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bacons now with 25% more bacons
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Parents being fined, and in some cases jailed, for sending their kids to school
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Create promotional materials for "Fark: The Movie"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It looks like there's a small chance of a possibility that things might, from a certain perspective, in some ways be thought of as sort of, kind of, falling apart in Iraq
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
From the WTF files: Bin Laden was a 9/11 truther?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crawley News)
 
 
 
Old ladies collapse on such a regular basis at bingo halls in England, the policy is just to carry on playing
source: crawleynews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tablet (UK))
 
 
 
"GraveTalk, a new resource to help get people talking about death and dying, includes 52 cards with questions like, "What would you like your legacy to be?'', "What does it mean to have a good death?" and "What does a roadside shrine mean to you?"
source: thetablet.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Husband can't bear to be apart from dead wife so buys ice coffin to keep her body at home. True love never dies
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Colorado pot claims its fourth victim: "If he had not smoked marijuana that night he would still be here. He was extremely high"
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Man designs glow-in-the-dark toilet seat so you can see where you're going
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Well, here's a shocker. Wisconsin Gov. and Republican superhero Scott Walker is being investigated about a sketchy $500,000 loan
source: host.madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korea claims to be able to produce its own Fat Little Boy
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Gee why is this power substation made up of stones engraved in Hebrew?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How long would it take one person to eat 1000 eggs?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders unveils plan for tuition-free college educations paid for by taxes on Wall Street, ensuring his campaign will be funded by exactly no one
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maryland, which already lets drivers change lanes without using turn signals, wants to lock in "Worst Drivers in America" title by removing parallel parking requirement from drivers license test
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You are free to wear sunscreen - but keep in mind that wearing most of it is just as likely to kill you as not wearing it
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
820 lb. mako shark caught off the coast of Cape May, New Jersey. Enjoy your swim
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pricipal Sayof Newswire)
 
 
 
"A salesperson who is purportedly with a Mickey Trump space criminal at the expense of a body on The Student, has to stop the internet manage for absolutely nothing"
source: biotechwired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tab (UK))
 
 
 
Reusing your water bottle could make you really, really ill
source: tab.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"I'm simply following my vocation to be a pain in the ass" says nun who Vatican thinks is a pain in the ass
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
A three month inspection of 7,571 gas station pumps yielded 103 credit card skimmers ready to pluck your data
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In a move that's sure to please everyone, Oregon is getting ready to test a pay-per-mile program meant to replace gasoline taxes
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Homophobic married reverend who regularly ranted against homosexuals and all things rainbow has been caught cruising for bottoms on Grindr
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Student takes senior prank to a whole new level, places entire school for sale on Craigslist. "50 rooms, 10 bathrooms, 3 gyms, fully stocked library"
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
A drunk Walt Disney World guest crashed through a golf cart window and then jumped into a lake after hearing "It's a Small World" for the 5,000th time in 48 hours
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If you borrowed a Rembrandt selfie from Boston Public Library last year, officials want you to return it now that they finally noticed
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Anyone in the mood for adventure and certain death? Iraq is looking for volunteers to take back Ramadi
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
American intelligence sources note that North Korea appears to have been a little photoshoppy with their submarine missile launch photos. You don't say. It's almost like they finally started reading Fark
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
Someone developed a a brutally honest food pyramid for every stage of adulthood. They aren't nutritious, but they reflect what is really consumed (except subby apparently is still only 30)
source: happyplace.someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
The latest hipster fad that you aren't cool enough to know about is the "bee beard." And if for some unknown reason you actually want to grow one, never let it be said Fark wasn't here to help you
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Two men plead guilty to selling synthetic marijuana at convenience stores. Police say they only had to tell one he had the right to remain silent
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Government ask public to design new national flag. Government surprised when public design flag with national bird shooting lasers out of its eyes. No really
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these food squares
source: cs625523.vk.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal from the Boy Scout store, always be prepared. To hire a good lawyer
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"In today's traffic report, watch out for that emu on the highway as it is jamming up traffic there"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The freeway you're driving on today could be transformed into a giant aerial public garden tomorrow
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Repeat from 1969: Coastline wasted again, but not from an oil platform this time. From a broken pipe
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Eats shoots and starves
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Biker)
 
 
 
So, about that biker fight in Waco? It's starting to appear that a parking lot bar fight led to police shooting into the crowd, killing all 9 of the deceased. Conveniently, all 170 witnesses are incarcerated with $1 million bonds
source: theconservativetreehouse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
With a sting so painful it can push a grown man to the brink of insanity, your mother-in-law and this Australian plant have a lot more in common than you might think
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spirits Business)
 
 
 
British warship the Lord Clive, sunk by Spanish cannons in 1763, could hold "treasure worth millions," including thousands of liters of 250-year-old rum. YO-HOHO-LO
source: thespiritsbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bring a foam Nerf gun bullet to school in New Jersey? That's a suspendin'
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Atlanta)
 
 
 
Nothing says "I hate my teaching job and I'd rather be in jail" quite like encouraging students to have sex in your classroom
source: atlanta.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Federal agents shoot man outside furniture store in order to avoid giving chaise
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(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like censorship
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You would think a bi-partisan sexual abuse education and prevention bill would have no trouble passing in Alaska. Until a social conservative from Wasilla steps in
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(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Philadelphia decriminalizes possession of pot, saves $1 million dollars: "It should be no surprise that decriminalization has saved the city money and freed up police time and resources"
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(CNN)
 
 
 
I know what you're saying: where can I get these fine new airbags? Well that's the gag. Chances are, you've bought 'em already. So, remember, spread a little sunshine, and put on a happy face
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I guess she could always run for office
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Crayola tells people to stop using colored pencils as eyeliner, looks accusingly at Sharpie
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
2,800 sq. ft. duplex in downtown San Francisco that needs a complete interior gut rehab sells for DOUBLE its listed price - $2.35 million
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pop quiz Hotshot. You have a group of boys fighting in your classroom, tables and chairs flying everywhere. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you've donated money to Cancer Fund of America, Cancer Support Services, Children's Cancer Fund of America and the Breast Cancer Society, we've got good news and bad news for you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
On this day in 1992, Mary Jo Buttafuoco says "I need Amy Fisher around here like a hole in the head"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
From today's Good Luck With THAT file: "University lecturer wants to give 'educational marijuana' to high school children to make them more creative"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this girl by the French seaside in the 1950s
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(Toledo News Now)
 
 
 
I scream, you scream, we all scream when the ice cream truck goes missing
source: toledonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you like your beach sand seasoned with howitzer projectile boosters, the Jersey Shore is the place for you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Radio Shack would like to thank you, its former customers, for providing it with all that juicy personal information that it could sell as part of its bankruptcy settlement
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
7 money saving myths that actually cost you money. Difficulty: You only believed these myths were money-saving if you were an utter moron to begin with
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Cannes Film Festival announces new rules banning women from wearing flat shoes
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Might want to dial back the smug a bit, white collar workers. The robots are coming for your jobs next
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hickory Daily Record)
 
 
 
"I keep a double-barreled shotgun loaded with double-aught buckshot right beside the bed. I wouldn't shoot to kill, but I'd sure have burnt their hind-ends up. You'd have been interviewing me about my arrest"
source: hickoryrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
$100K settlement finally reached over deaths of two people who drowned in tank full of molasses. If only there were some kind of analogy for how slowly justice moves sometimes
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(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "West Texas country music festival Crude Fest leads to drunk man stabbed in butt"
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmag)
 
 
 
New bladeless wind turbine will vibrate birds to death
source: gizmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Dude, where's my duck?
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these art-hanging men
source: si.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
There are close calls and then there's the "claiming your $1M lottery prize with a taped together ticket," close call
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"And now, kids, to teach you the value of life, I'll eat this hamster"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I shot an arrow into the air, it pulled out my tooth then fell somewhere"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Resourceful Russians with cancer find ways to cut through the ponderous medical bureaucracy
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
In the most compelling argument ever made for the widespread use of CCTV cameras, they let you watch 81-year-old women get run down by runaway tractor tires. Don't worry, she was fine, she's laughing with us right now. Probably
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Pretty sure one of the tasks of being president of the European Union is to know which countries are in the European Union
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
High winds at one of the most dangerous airports in the world made for a scary weekend of rock and roll
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This government is full of BEES
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Domino's delivery guy robbed at swordpoint by bicycle-riding ninja hipsters
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey everyone body, let's all visit the World's longest and highest glass-bottomed Nope
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
A hysterical man's take on the new Mad Max. "My scrotum killed itself"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
If aliens do exist, they're probably the size of bears. Or maybe they ARE bears. We don't really know
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heartland Connection)
 
 
 
You see us as you want to see us. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, Danny Partridge, and a criminal. Well, six criminals
source: heartlandconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
The Duggars are trying to get pregnant, something new and different
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nightmare fuel. You're welcome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Free, no subscription required porn home delivery service started in Southington, CT
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The best pictures of a Tasmanian Sea Sparkle flash mob you'll see this week
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news, Kim Jong Un is a climate "believer"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Confusion over the appropriate punishment for smokers reportedly led to a fight that killed 12 ISIS members in February"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
New guide to help Brits survive in jail published: "Prison is much safer than your average provincial high street on a Friday night"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this awkward conversation
source: tyfoster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ground support
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco power failure caused by metallic balloon. At least it wasn't a plastic grocery bag
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
On one Greek island, two villages celebrate a festival by shooting fireworks at each other. "The most risky thing is that the rockets are launched sideways and not up in the air"
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Behold the Rectum Opus
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
All our lives we've been falsely told that when it comes to olive oil, don't cook it on high heat, you can judge it by its color, and she's really a C-cup
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How not to fark that chicken, how to rotisserie that chicken the extreme BBQ way
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
NYPD commissioner considers granting amnesty to 1.2 million low-level offenders charged with minor crimes such as simple possession of marijuana, drinking in public, selling untaxed cigarettes
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Medical technology students suing college, claiming they were forced to practice procedure on each other. Come on already, what's a little transvaginal probe between classmates
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(Gawker)
 
 
 
The FBI has ruled out a bullet shooting the windshield as a cause for the Philly Amtrak crash. Gay Muslim affirmative action hire still on the table
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(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Remember back when you were a teen you could throw rocks at your buddy's window in the middle of the night trying to wake him up and not have to worry he would shoot you?
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(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
If you're an American, the idea of retiring in a Mexican beach community in a condo sounds like delightful. Until the Mexican government decides to seize the condo and there's nothing you can do about it
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(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Fifteen secrets of the Colorado State Capitol Building. The fact that Denver is the secret capital of the U.S. strangely absent
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If for some reason more than 30 bags of cocaine worth $175,000 accidentally fell from your boat into the Galveston Bay, good news: The Galveston police found it
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Current)
 
 
 
Texas legalizes certain medical marijuana. That will make your spurs spin
source: sacurrent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Torture is always wrong. That includes water boarding your girlfriend's 4-year-old son
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Good news: State agency director wants to enforce the law. Bad news: He works for the State of Arizona and is fired by the governor for doing his job
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Coffee has definite health benefits. That 1000-calorie slushy mocha thing you're drinking? Not so much
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A former tank commander is taking his cats on a quest to visit every war memorial in Britain - on a mobility scooter" (pics)
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(The Morning Star)
 
 
 
So many people are sleeping in garbage cans that companies that empty dumpsters are installing CCTVs on their trucks so they don't crush any more of them to death
source: morningstaronline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cambridge University Press)
 
 
 
You have been pronouncing "Parmesan" wrong this whole time. Oops
source: dictionary.cambridge.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Don't be "that guy" in the neighborhood. No one likes "that guy"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Now with a dose of TotalFark Discussion
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Go home (with a warning) Air India pilot, you're drunk
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
A handy guide to the price of pot in every state - for no particular reason, man
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
New from Hasbro, it's My First Reproductive Organ. Grab one today
source: throb.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News Leader)
 
 
 
What do you do when you're CPS and you discover 200 messages asking for help? Delete them and go on with your day, of course
source: newsleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Legoland Hotel to open Friday in Winter Haven. Difficulty: You have to build your own room
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Study finds gay, bisexual teens more likely to get pregnant than straight peers. Wait, what?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"There were these policemen with guns running around Saint Alfege's churchyard, everybody in their floaty clothes, and these officers looked like something out of Rambo. It was quite surreal. I said to the vicar, 'More tea, vicar?'"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you use Airbnb to rent out a room in your house and the couple who takes a 2-week reservation ends up staying long enough to establish residency and won't leave until you pay them $1000, you may be doing it wrong
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Whiskey vagina is real, ladies
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter