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| Sun May 17, 2015 |
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Some people usually break a lamp or punch a pillow in frustration. Then there's this guy
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Japan's island chain increases by 1
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Photoshop this vegeterrorist
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Nine dead and multiple injuries in biker gang shooting in Waco, Texas
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Man sues hospital for losing part of his brain
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Comet 'wiped out highly advanced ancient civilization after smashing into Earth nearly 13,000 years ago,' just Shoggoth it off, man
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High sodium diet may delay puberty, which means that the average Cheetos eating basement dweller should be moving out of mom's basement at about 45
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A mysterious wealthy businessman paying a porn star $10 Million for a 15-year "exclusive services" contract is not the premise of the latest "50 Shades" knock off, but something that actually just happened
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Oklahoma U geologists: Fracking injection wells are causing the 500-fold increase in earthquakes. Oil company CEO to OU dean: Have these people fired
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This is why we cannot eat nice things
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Photoshop this afternoon cruise
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The First Church Of Cannabis plans to test Indiana's Religious Freedom law
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Man steals $17k from Sears store using fake returns. Sears said they knew he was stealing since nobody buys anything to return
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Entire first-year MFA class (all seven students) at USC walks out after failing to receive a generous tuition subsidy they had expected for their useless degrees
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You may want to sit down for this, but the U.S. Postal Service doesn't care about getting you your mail quickly and have no desire to take their customer service to such great heights
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If you've got enough gall to murder your wife and then deliver the eulogy at her funeral, don't plagiarize the eulogy. That's just tacky
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"#droughtshaming is blowing up. And it's shoving another of California's problems - vast income inequality - into an uncomfortable spotlight"
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CHP cop pulls over 100 cars for going too slow on freeway. Fark: They were all part of a funeral procession
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Man takes baseball bat to friend's car to resolve vendetta--then realizes it's his friend's neighbor's car. YOU SEE, LARRY? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS
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Drunk man wearing only boxer shorts and case of beer fights with officers trying to stop him from walking onto highway. He must have thought they wanted his beer
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Customs and Border Patrol trainee learns firsthand how to conduct an illegal stop, with attempted assault by law enforcement, tazing people for defending their rights, and illegal searches all in one day (w/video)
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Driving a Porsche does not allow you to make your own drive through in a coffee shop
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"If anyone inadvertently found themselves walking home half naked at any point last night ... We found your hipster clothing in our driveway on Pine Ave"
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Cross the road on a red light? That's hammer time
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And your feel good story of the day: Gay man receives apology from high school bully ... 20 years later. "I was recently talking with my 10 year old daughter about bullies, she asked me if I ever bullied anyone and sadly I had to say 'yes' I did"
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They were absolutely everywhere. One person looked out the window and said, 'Is this real?'
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Both a mother and the blogosphere are outraged after a school had the nerve to put the woman's son in an empty classroom after he became a threat in class
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Are you paying too much for your weed? *warning - slideshow*
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Photoshop this hair styling
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CSB Sunday Morning: Karma collisions
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The operators of the Whistler Blackcomb ski resort in Vancouver, B.C. have a lot of nerve to ask all employees to refrain from using both tobacco and cannabis
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Instead of signing your child up for art camp, soccer, rugby, swimming lessons, literacy camp, YMCA day care, karate, and Vacation Bible School all summer long, why not let her relax at home says a mommy blogger who obviously doesn't have a job
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Mock coconut water all you want, but you can make a mean margarita with it
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Yes, a device that connects to your coffee jar and sends a text when the jar is almost empty may sound silly to you, but you probably don't use fair trade, shade-grown, bird-friendly coffee home delivered every week by a woman on a cargo bike
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And in the end there was just one state left in Union that mandated only gas station employees could fill customers' gas tanks
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Not news: Man is caught on camera putting large rocks in the middle of mountain trails. News: Which some mountain bikers claim was to sabotage them. Fark: The man claims he was just help protect the desert ecosystem
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Old and busted: sharknado. New Hotness: Typhoon Dolphin
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Look, we've been over this time and time again. If you're going to steal a $2,000 puppy, do NOT do it in a store where you have previously filled out a job application with your real address
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Come on granny, blow out the candles on your cake. Take a deep breath and really put your teeth into it
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Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of eclectic music from Juneau, Alaska hosted live by a farker (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT)
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The worker was alert and speaking to medics, so I'm sure he'll manage to lumber on
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| Sat May 16, 2015 |
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This is why you don't climb the roof of your college's sports arena in the middle of the night when it's slick from rain
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Yellowstone bison vs tourist: FIGHT
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It's hard to fathom when you're holding your newborn son for the first time that years later there will come a day when you confront him with a knife as he tries to attack you while completely naked
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"Brain injury gives woman affinity for art, poetry and math"
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If you wear something daring and original on the red carpet at a Hollywood movie premier, you get applauded. If you wear something daring and original on the red carpet at a prom in Florida, you get sent home
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Photoshop this victory of some sort
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"What are you talking about, cops? I don't have no marijuana." *UPS truck pulls up* "I've got your 4 lbs of marijuana. Sign here"
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Chris Roberts, please step up and claim your Hacker of the Year award for commandeering an airliner by taking control of its thrust management system, through its entertainment system, while a passenger on the plane
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CVS pill barista refuses to fill prescription because he didn't like the neighborhood the CVS was in
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Woman playing a game at an internet cafe gives birth to child, and goes back to playing. In related news, there are still internet cafes
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There's being an obnoxious drunk and then there's being such an obnoxious drunk, that a judge bans you from every hospital in town
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Say hello to the newest micro-nation: Enclava which boasts 93 square metres of land is being billed as "the smallest country in Europe"
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You can have an aircraft carrier or you can have a navy. Pick one, America
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Photoshop this shadow play
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Drunk woman launches Chevy Blazer into the air, rotating it one and a half times, hits billboard 30' in the air and finally lands on cars at auto dealership. Ta da
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If you get arrested for road raging for the third time on your way to a union hearing to get your firefighting job back after you lost it for beating homeless people in a park, you might have some anger management issues
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Alabama foster parents arrested in Florida, after hotel employees call cops because they wouldn't let sunburned and dehydrated kid back into room. Why yes, alcohol was involved
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Carl's Jr. introduces 1000 calorie burger, with 64 grams of fat, that includes a hamburger patty, hot dog, cheese and potato chips. Which answers the question as to why there is no longer a Carl Senior
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Boston police pay about $3 million per year for civil rights violations, and by Boston police I mean Boston taxpayers
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If it weren't for YouTube, the world would never know now to tie the perfect bow tie, cook Moroccan fish, or draw a cute puppy
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Sea weed
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FDA: you wanted a GMO food label? Fine, here is your GMO food label. Happy now?
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Some people see a park fountain and envision hopes and dreams. Others see it as a free car wash
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Lawsuit alleges Asians make up 6% of America but only 21% of Harvard's freshman class. Wait, what?
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America today summed up in one strip mall sign
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Bald man gets hairpiece, vows there will be hell toupee
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Students at a West Virginia high school wanted their teacher to let them watch "50 Shades of Grey" as a reward for their hard work. Well sex education class isn't the most exciting class at times
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Lawyers in shock jock case use sexy paralegal to trick opposing counsel into getting a DUI. Even in Florida, the bar association has a problem with this
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Ride a bicycle? That's an eviction
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Want to keep your job as assistant state attorney? Then maybe you should have filed those 116 county ordinance violations and 177 misdemeanor DUI cases
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Yeah it's Whisky Day again, not that you would notice since you probably haven't stopped from last year
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U.S. Special Forces kill Mighty ISIS leader. Search for Jabberjaw, Speed Buggy goes on
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what is being magnified
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Community in uproar over adult bookstore's mural of a girl stuffing her beaver
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Get bumped in the arm by a passing vehicle's mirror? Shooting off a warning shot seems like a reasonable reaction
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British cat proudly sets new record for world's loudest purr at a thundering 67.8 decibels. It's Caturday, let's make some noise
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More cyclists using cameras to document reckless driving, document how many points they are worth after flipping off drivers
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Great white shark Mary Lee, after finding nothing of value to eat in the Jersey Shore/NYC area heads towards Massachusetts for some Chowda
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If the vaccines, fluoridated water, wind turbines and GMOs don't get you, WiFi will
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They aren't saying it was aliens, but they ARE saying it was possibly a UFO
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Behold the power of this fully functional Social Network to shame a "creepy" dad taking picture in public of... himself?
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It was as if tens of thousands of 30-something basement dwellers cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced
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Frank Zappa warned us this day would come. Amusing tag battles with many others
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Morsi sentenced to death. Johnny Marr unavailable for comment
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Goodbye to our world of toys. FAO Schwartz is closing its flagship store
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Luxembourg's prime minister becomes the first openly gay national leader to marry his partner. Cool tag sits in for Fabulous tag
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| Fri May 15, 2015 |
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It's already Friday, so here's the Fark Weird News Quiz. I mean, it isn't like you're sitting around reading breaking news or anyth-- oh dear
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Lobstah Donuts. That is all
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Dairy Queen drops soft drinks from kids' menus. Because when you've just downed two Blizzards and some soft serve, that sugary soda is just a bit too much
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News: Arrest Made in Zimmerman Shooting. Fark: Not Zimmerman
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Yellowstone park ranger answers the important questions, like who would win in a fight between a grizzly bear and a gorilla
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Ma'am, I know that your suicidal husband just texted you saying he's about to kill himself, but we've just finished our pre-takeoff cabin check and you're going to need to have your phone in airplane mode now, mmkay?
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Photoshop what this knight in shining armor should be holding
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Scientists are lying about climate change. Specifically, they are lying about how well and truly f*cked we actually are
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Map shows "most distinctive" causes of death in each state, so congratulations on your syphilis, Louisiana, and you, too, on your "legal intervention," Nevada
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Young man with a few thousand dollars at his disposal goes to auction to buy the squad car of his father who was killed in the line of duty. Bidding gets out of hand and when the gavel finally falls it was sold for almost $63K... and a box of tissues
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Today, salad dressing. Tomorrow, the world
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If you live in Michigan and borrowed from Western Sky Financial, the bad news is you are an idiot. The good news is MI's AG is forcing them to drop the interest rate on their loans from 169% to 7% the max by law in the state for unlicensed lenders
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Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be remanded into the custody of the Baltimore Police Department
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Man mows family's lawn, and their ducks for good measure
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"What no one wants to say out loud is that this is a big win for the NSA, and a huge nothing burger for the privacy community"
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Photoshop these all-American men
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This is probably the greatest and most disgusting prank ever done to a man on his stag do
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Step-father gives away his step-daughter's car because it's so filthy it would not qualify as a forfeit car on Top Gear
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How bad do your table manners have to be to get arrested at a salad bar?
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"An Oklahoma woman charged with slashing the corpse of her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend at a funeral home has now been hit with an additional count of unlawful removal of a deceased person's body part"
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"Harlem Hellfighter" Pvt Henry Johnson -- who may actually have been a Time-Travelling Don Cheadle -- to belatedly receive the Medal of Honor for taking out a dozen German soldiers in WWI using a rifle, a club, a knife and finally his bare hands
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A cemetery was vandalized in Western Maine, and the culprits were a skunk and a groundhog. No word on if the skunk was saying French phrases
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California drought is making pot more poten...whoa...I feel like I'm floating on marshmallows
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New technology means that the Six Million Dollar Man would cost only $12,000 in parts today. If you also consider medical costs, the total balloons to $33 million. Thanks Obama
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Russia to pass law banning "foreign undesirables." All Dutchmen now have 48 hours to leave Russian territory
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Chinese police discover 51 people in van built for 6. Article includes sped up video but Yakety Sax sadly missing
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Mourners in funeral procession lose hearse in traffic, finally catch up and follow it to cemetery, only one small problem
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Even super-lawyer Amal Clooney can't make Britain give Greece back the statutes Lord Elgin stole from the Parthenon in the 1800's
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| (Some Spamming Spammer) |
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Friday Modmin Spam Selection: Everyone needs like inside their daily life, thinking of you're these troubles we're dependably there in your case and obtainable all day long, on a daily basis to create all your concerns out out of your existence
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Homeschooling Kentucky family has its kids removed by the state because they were living in squalor, without running water or a septic system. Apparently they had Facebook, though
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Giant Ferris wheel known as the Orlando Eye immediately shuts down due to "irregularity." Which is a fancy way of saying "is so unstable it could roll off its bearings and into traffic"
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19 zoos must have elephant threesomes by the end of next year or their pachyderms will be sent to zoos where they can have more fun
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Bill Cosby to young people: Look, just because I raped a bunch of women doesn't mean I don't have important advice to give you about your future. Now shut up and listen to me before I drug you
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Planetary alignment suggests that a massive earthquake will hit California on May 28. The fact that the earthquake disaster movie San Andreas opens May 29 is purely a coincidence
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FAA declares Washington, D.C. a "no drone zone." Apparently no FAA official has ever attended a congressional hearing
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Earthquake in NZ: "I was sitting on a bar stool and it rocked a bit and the drinks on the table moved a little bit. Luckily my drink wasn't spilled. If it had I would have licked it off the table"
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Missing Marine helicopter in Nepal has been found
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"Are heated sidewalks a good idea for Montreal?" Duh
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the scariest Harry Potter villain of them all
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In a surprise move to... nobody: A federal jury has cleared six former Philadelphia drug squad officers in a drug corruption case
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Amtrak derailment could have been prevented had Amtrak been able to buy the RF spectrum needed by its otherwise ready-to-go Positive Train Control system. But money & rules
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Fat, naked, and running from the police into the ocean is no way to go through life, son
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Burglar tries to open door through cat flap with a spade. Then homeowner steals his spade
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Motorcycle chase in Chickasha, Oklahoma is stopped by...well...a perfect stereotype of who you might expect to live in Chickasha, Oklahoma
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It's embarrassing when you find a trash bag inside a house you just inherited and some rival relatives sprinkle a white powder in the trash bag, so you bring the trash bag into the police station and it makes everyone's throat burn and nose bleed
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Emojis may be the one thing that can save endangered species across the globe
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Here are 22 kids that got detention for doing hilarious things. Discuss your funny detention stories about yourself or another person to the right, please
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If you're an idiot and like to yell "FHRITP" at female reporters, that'll cost you $402 per utterance in Canada. Don't forget that news crews have cameras and can get your plate number
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Why are you DOING THIS TO ME? Adorable baby's reaction to trying avocado for the first time (w/video)
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Utah residents buy twice as much candy as anyone else in the country: "We're Mormons. We don't drink alcohol, we don't smoke, we avoid coffee - but we certainly do sugar"
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First truck nuts, now bike balls
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The Thrill is gone
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"My dad asked me to eat McDonald's for 10 days. This is what happened"
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| Thu May 14, 2015 |
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People will run red lights and literally drive into the store when the Hot & Ready light is on at Krispy Kreme
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"Women are better drivers than men - but they are too modest to admit it"
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Fox News blurs out cubist boobies in story on Picasso painting, so Slate decides to see what other great art would look like given the same treatment. Censored Rothko painting wins it all
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Photoshop this micro plastic
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Man arrested for flying 8" toy drone in D.C. park. America has been saved from horrible annihilation once again
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Amtrak doing better. Only a locomotive fire this time
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Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub / The butcher, the baker, the candle stick maker / The tub hadn't been cleaned properly / There were no survivors
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New Jersey Sprint customers are still getting screwed but for one day it was slightly more pleasant
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| (Revealnews.org) |
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Know your audubon: The National Audubon Society, which protects birds, and the Audubon International, which sanctions killing birds if they harm a golf course
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Fark Food Thread: Time to throw down. (In/)Appropriate consumption of alcohol aside, what is it you do to make yours the BEST BURGER EVER?
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Texas mayor: "Our town has been devastated by a tornado, but we will rebuild. Well, they will. Not me. Now watch this drive"
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Do you suffer from nomophobia?
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Take one last look. It'll probably be rubble by next week
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Photoshop Theme: Photoshop an Internet meme in the style of a '70s van art
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After seven weeks, a zoo finds out they have a baby girl hippo. No word on if it will be part of a live Fantasia remake
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Self Repairing Concrete? I'm just concerned about when it becomes self aware
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Missouri House Speaker John Diehl resigning to spend more time taking care of his interns
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Pet python swallows BBQ tongs, produces one of be the best X-rays ever: "It was pretty obvious what the problem was"
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Reddit joins the "Don't be a dick" movement with new policy
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Doctor leaves mobile phone in woman's abdomen during caesarean
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Man leaves baby in car and boards the T to Boston. Says this wouldn't have been a problem except the trains were actually running
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'Most tattooed female senior citizen' gets indelibly stamped
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Nanny State social services takes custody of two sisters after they told their teachers that their parents. A) Starved them. B) Beat them. C) Banned them from watching the Telly
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Arms control advocates try to stop the future develpoment of "Hunter-Killers. Patrol machines built in automated factories. Most of us were rounded up, put in camps for orderly disposal"
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Looks like Al Gore's gonna need to invent a bigger internet
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Daily Mail investigates whether shaving with peanut butter leads to silky-smooth legs for summer
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You people need to understand that even blow-up dolls need a bath every now and then.... Sheeesh (Not safe for work)
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The Good news: Five of the biggest banks in the world are about plead guilty to criminal felonies for their parts in a Forex-rigging scheme. The Bad news: the SEC will then grant them waivers so the pleas have no actual consequences for them
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"It's not a dadbod - it's an act of rock'n'roll dietary rebellion"
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The new book "Why Grow Up?" makes a case for adulthood in an age of eternal adolescence. There are definite benefits to maturity and even responsibility. Oh, and penis
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"Let's see, your boarding passes look like they're in order. You're free to board. Oh by the way, if you want to sit next to your four-year-old daughter, that will be an additional $88. Enjoy your flight and thanks for using Delta Airlines"
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Amtrak crash victims remembered for their accomplishments, service, random stains on walls and ceilings
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North Korea suffers their 15th major internet outage this year. Or as AOL customers call that, a pretty good week
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In Australia it rains spiders every couple of months. They call this terrifying event Angel Hair
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Old, Stupid: Leaving your kids in a hot car. New, Dumbass: Letting your kid play ship's mast on the roof of your car while driving
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Cuba: From making cigars to curing lung cancer
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Are you depressed? That's too bad. Hope you feel better, even though your risk of stroke may increase if you do
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LSU building $85 million swimming pool in the shape of a corndog
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Springer Spaniel with 'broken heart' is saved after village pitches in to buy it a £2,000 pacemaker
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Man spends $10,000 to acquire three of Steve Jobs' old business cards. Which is amazing, because [computer printer whirring] subby just happens [computer printer whirring] to have found ten more
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"Hi, is this 911? Yeah, dude, we're like stuck in a bush"
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When having a drunken fight in the car with your girlfriend, sometimes it's just best to get out and walk away. Unless she's stopped in the left lane of the Interstate
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Sure you might think the North Korean stories of executing people with anti-aircraft guns is cray cray but these guys are for real I tells ya. Straight up
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With no more pressing issues to tackle, New York moves to make it illegal to declaw cats
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Entire country bans Facebook. That's 1 down, 195 to go
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Our annual "lots of people drive on Memorial Day Weekend" non-news story from AAA arrives a week early to beat the traffic
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this exotic facial massage
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You can't be fat (or young) somewhere else when you're handcuffed
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Hacked Starbucks mobile app drains money from customers' accounts. Just like Starbucks
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California's Mother of the Year candidate arrested after her three-year-old fails to provide cover fire
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King of Bahrain snubs Obama to go hang out with Queen Elizabeth, visit her daughter-in-law
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"Employees at Google already informally compete to see how long someone can live at the office, using company showers, food, and sleeping pods (the record is supposedly around two years)"
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Disaster response team in Nepal helps free trapped body thetans
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The Indiana County Fair just won't be the same now that they've cancelled the hog wrestling event
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Burundian general: "We have removed the president from office." President: "LOL nope"
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Many soles lost in shoe factory fire
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A look at where ISIS gets their weed
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For too long the rats of New York City have been allowed to run wild unchecked. But that's all about to end thanks to a $3 million check
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Spiffy: Man builds amazing eco-friendly treehouse home. OMG WANT: He also built his own concrete skatepark (w/pics)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society. Are we going to prom or to Stanford or to hell?
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The seemingly irreversible decade-long mega drought that was turning Texas into a barren wasteland, has been put on hold due to flooding caused by 6x the usual rainfall
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Florida submits its candidate for mom of the year
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 523:"Happy Farktography Anniversary 10". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 13, 2015 |
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'I do' choose to run against you: Married couple vying for same council seat in race that's sure to make for awkward dinner conversation
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The first thing you say when you walk into the courtroom and address the judge should probably not be, "How you doin' a--hole?"
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No one else needs to climb Mt. Everest
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Photoshop this quick buzz
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If you need to pay your girlfriend's bail, robbing a bank should not be the first option
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Here's something that Tom Brady inflated. No, not THAT
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Penis
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Pope Francis turns troll dial to 11 and formally recognizes Palestinian state
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"Darling fascist bully-boy: Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman. -- Prince Charles"
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All Pacific Memorials had to do was make sure the body didn't fall out of the hearse. Was that REALLY too much to ask?
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Five, five corpses found in coffins in German supermarket. Ach, ach, ach
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Photoshop these envious eyes
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Amtrak train flew through that Philly curve at over 100mph, but not for very long
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Fox: Herpa. MSNBC: Derpa. CNN: Doo. Viewers: Screw this, I'm going outside
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Science is broken
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NYPD stops hammer time
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Sure, you may like your job, but did getting it involve a baptism in raw sewage and wearing a dead goat as a costume?
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"When I looked over to Carter his face had gone white and he was crying his eyes out because the Lego man had dropped into the box," Now you know how it feels when I stand on the Farking thing at 3AM
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| (Some Comrade) |
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Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs tells the US to "Tell the world that aliens exist...or we will." Dun-dun-DUUUUN
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"A man from South Wales says he 'wasn't even aware' that he'd sawed his own hand off with a circular saw" (w. audio)
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Vandals attack selfie-taking Ottoman prince statue, then again aren't selfies going a little too far when they are featured in statues?
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Four Iowans arrested for holding clothing drives to masquerade their master plan: shipping guns to Lebanon
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Good news: FDA proposes ending lifetime ban on blood donations from gays and lesbians. Quizzical dog news: They have to remain abstinent for a year first
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Prince Harry would "love to have kids right now", says he can hardly wait to hear the pitter-patter of little feet of the nannies he'll hire to take care of them
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Rolling coal is now illegal in New Jersey. Thanks, Obama
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Behold the most clever and environmentally-friendly high school prank ever. 10 extra points for originality
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Nuclear activist nun wins appeal, will be released from prison, though the judge warned her not to make a habit of her anarchistic tendencies
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Man claims to have witnessed what happened to Natalee Holloway. CNN hoping MH370 was involved
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School tries inspiring students before exams, because they're good enough, they're smart enough, and doggone It, people like them
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Two injured in Niles house fire. Someone must have left the iron on
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And the winner of the boyfriend of the year award goes to
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San Francisco sends warning over Haight St. McDonalds popular McCrack, Shroom McNuggests and Big Meth extra value baggies
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Flight MH370 searchers discover wreckage on ocean floor...of a previously undiscovered shipwreck. CNN headquarters placed on medical alert after initial euphoria replaced with crushing depression
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Hey Joe, let's stop off for some donuts on the way to the funeral. The guy in the back won't care
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Student suing school after failing required class twice, because it's their fault she's dumb
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Ohio police: Please don't jog on our streets when you're drunk. And naked
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Manchester council's efforts at keeping parking fine quotas up include moving legally parked vehicles onto restricted parking zones
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This is the day, will he live in a tiny-ass cell or will he die....after living in a tiny-ass cell for 20 years while filing appeal after appeal? A sentence in the Tsarnaev trial could come as early as today
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Fark-ready headline: "Canadians now have shorter attention span than goldfish"
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Train crash on Philadelphia tracks claims 79 lives at Frankford Junction--in 1943
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"I want to say one word to you, Benjamin, just one word: 'Monkeys'"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this unstoppable force
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Man injured in collision betwixt hatchback and meadery at Penzance harbor. Though detectives believe alcohol was involved, man "has been bailed to a later date while enquiries into the collision continue"
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Lucky bored hipster declines to pose for photo after winning million dollars on lottery scratcher: "It wasn't much excitement. I was like 'cool, I won'"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Piiiiigs .... iiiiin .... landfills?
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Some guys try a labor pain simulator because this is what technology was invented for
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Vampire power costs Americans $19 billion in electricity every year. That sucks
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Break into a house, strip nearly naked, and attempt to sexually assault the owner - that's a... What? The grand jury refused to indict?
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Been on the beer? Just 100 metres from home? Don't be a fool like this guy and drive. You never know, you might end up in a one-way system and be pulled over by cops
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Men in black claiming to be police raid home. Suspects described as an old white guy with a gravelly voice and a younger hip black guy with attitude
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Five reasons why nobody should be drilling for oil in the Arctic Ocean, and the list doesn't even mention what it would do to property value of Superman's Fortress of Solitude
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News: Cute 23 year old inherits £454 million thanks to her grandfather who introduced top-shelf mags, strip clubs to the UK. Fark: She's even richer than the queen (w/pics)
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Considering how she taught Anne Frank sign language, most Americans think it's only right to honor Harriet Tubman by putting her face on the $20 bill
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British visitors to WW1 and WW2 battlefields are causing delays on French railways; because they keep taking home artillery shells as souvenirs
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Consumers say Fitbit activity trackers overestimate the amount of sleep you are getting. So of course someone is suing them over this
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Planning on an international vacation? Would you like to avoid being murdered? Then check out the Interactive International Murder Map to make sure you enjoy the best part of any vacation: not being murdered (article w/ link to map's website)
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North Korean defense chief falls asleep during meeting with Kim Jung Un, gets to test anti-aircraft artillery firsthand
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Why do people keep trying to open the plane doors on flights in China? One theory: They're going out for a smoke
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| Tue May 12, 2015 |
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The November 1972 issue of Playboy magazine is the magazine's best selling issue of all time. Why? Because the Lena Söderberg centerfold has been at the center of computer science for more than 40 years (SFW)
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Nepal earthquake was so severe that it brought down a US Marines helicopter
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Chernobyl? Exxon Valdez? Posting on the Fark Politics tab? All disasters that could have easily been avoided with a decent night's sleep
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Amtrak train mimics Eagles in Philly, crashes (Link has live video feed)
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Cops still killing kids
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Iceland set to open 800-meter-long, 30-meter-deep tunnel. Fark: Directly into a glacier
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Come for the ridy-bob, stay for the whoopensocker. 51 American Colloquialisms
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Adoptions soar at sanctuary thanks to huge cat - Andre the Giant Cat, to be precise
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Bartender and dog shot by patron because "Clamato juice was against his religion"
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Things were going swell for Gaylord and his friend Hap up until Hap started leaving empty vodka bottles and empty cocaine baggies laying around. Things went downhill when Hap wrecked the car. Then it got fake. Real fake
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Photoshop this valiant effort
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In today's bout of pearl clutching, finance gurus are once again flabbergasted as to why people aren't stashing 15% of their income into their 401Ks
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| (Some Guy) |
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"High school students not going to take bake sale ban lying down in sugar-induced haze"
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Sacramento is so LGBT friendly even the crosswalks are fabulous
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"Several hurt when Houston-area school crashes into house"
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Police charge man with attempted murder after his wife's chute fails to open during a routine skydive and she plummets almost 4,000 feet to the ground. They can only charge him with "attempted murder" because, somehow, she survived the fall
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Video reveals that at least one of the secret KFC's 11 herbs and spices turns out to be dirt
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Old and Busted: Drug sniffing police dogs. New Hotness: Fish sniffing police dogs. Your dog wants Sashimi
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Magaluf dwarf filmed spanking Brit stag dressed as woman as official party season gets underway
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Mayor vows to "go all Tiananman Square" against plans to extend a highway into his village. Get the tanks
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Sunny with a chance of concrete mixer
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Most people would rather lose a finger than their web connection, although it rarely comes down to such a stark choice
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School bus driver of the year arrested for driving at .13 BAC with three dozen kids on board, even though a .15 is the minimum needed to make driving a school bus a bearable occupation
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Man demands explanation from the scientific community after his cat gives birth to a dog
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Thieves break into French zoo, steal 17 endangered monkeys. Isn't this how 28 Days Later started?
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94-year-old man finishes college after starting 75 years ago. He says he'll take a break before pursuing a master's degree
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The more Facebook tries to put real news items in its American users' newsfeeds, the less its American users care. Because, you know, OMG PUPPIES
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Jewish cemetery survives inside GM plant, which is only fitting since GM itself is so close to the grave
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After a 5 year absence, El Nino is back. Thanks, Obama
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Photoshop this departure
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Used to be you could spot the tourist by their fanny packs. Now it's just their fannies
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Sofa King sends one final message to all of the We Todds
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CNN: "'Star Wars or ISIS: Which is more Islamic?" What?
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Here's a story that makes interesting dinner conversation - Woman gives birth to triplets ... three years apart
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New report details how many Russian soldiers have been dying in Ukraine. Report authors soon to discover they should have included themselves in the total
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"The life and sex coach is infamous not only for her self-proclaimed 'legendary' vagina, but also for bringing the ancient art of vaginal kung fu to the masses"
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Four words you never expected to hear together: Death by atomic wedgie
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Man has sex with a Porsche and the rest of the headline becomes somewhat redundant
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The poor guy who invented the digital camera is now getting blamed for selfies. "I get blamed for selfies, they do it just to get a rise out of me or something"
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Bobby Orr wants you to get off his lawn. No, really
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America's changing religious landscape -or- Why Millennials are nothing to worry about
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"Dear Prudence: My husband and I have what I thought was a perfect marriage. I went to use his computer and discovered he chats online to strangers about our sex lives. Is this a big issue for our marriage or am I overreacting?" WELCOME TO FARK
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This Scottish brewery just helicopter dropped taxidermy cats over London "to prove a point." Erm, ok
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"In every country in the world, male suicides outnumber female. The mystery is why? What is it about being male that leads to this? Why are middle-aged men most at risk? And why is it getting worse?"
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Man sneezes out toy dart 44 years after he got it stuck in his nose
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Yes, you've got a seriously long tongue when it can touch your eye
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And the award for mother of the year goes to
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NYPD looking for man who went clubbing with his hammer pants
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Woman takes 'crime spree' to whole new level by robbing three banks in 30 minutes
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Idiot attempting to set world DUI record can already scratch 'Jaguars' and 'mobility scooter' from his list
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"An insurance cheat who claimed his 'chronic fatigue' prevented him from leading a normal life was caught out when he posted photos online of himself racing supercars"
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In a sign of how unregulated our society is becoming, Oregon schoolchildren may be allowed to use and carry: (A) Firearms; (B) Marijuana; (C) Sunscreen
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Residents evicted from Whitehorse drug den for riding the white horse. White horse
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Bolt Bus blows bits by Boston
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Subway has developed a porny way of identifying robbers: as the robber exits the store, a mechanism sprays DNA all over him, which can later be identified by a black light
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Photoshop 19-year-old Andre the Giant in Paris, 1966
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Today's fake internet game children are allegedly playing: The Game of 72, which dares teens to disappear from and have absolutely no contact with their parents for 72 hours
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Dogs will become too expensive in the future and we'll have to buy robo-pets instead. Blade Runner predicted this
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Bangladesh blogger gets hacked, partitioned into several smaller pieces
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Sometimes it just feels good to punch a shark
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Britain could say goodbye to the EU for good in 2016
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New study says the type of glass you drink beer from affects how fast you drink it. Also if you're shaped like a beer keg, you should probably drink slower
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For nearly 200 years London was terrorized by a gang of female criminals known as the Forty Elephants
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At least 7 victims found in Connecticut serial killer probe. Obviously they're pushing the probe in the right place
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Just because you don't like mountain bikers doesn't mean you can booby trap popular mountain biking trails with boulders
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Italy's olive gardens are being threatened by climate change, too much salt
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Family in the middle of a Red Lobster brawl left feeling all crabby, pinched
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Landowner: "On these recordings you will hear evidence of my senior pipeline representative offering me not once, not twice, but three times the sexual services of a woman," Tweedy said, "the last time being a $1200 teenage prostitute"
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It might have been a slick move for a Burger King employee to dump oil down a storm drain but he may end up on a slippery slope
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Nepal just can't shake it off
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Judge says to a man convicted of beating and strangling his girlfriend "Don't worry, son, you'll get over her"
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Old guy in assisted living facility loses his housing subsidy after he's caught hiding a prostitute under his bed. Fark: Whom he paid for by selling booze to fellow residents
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Chinese choir drill
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Picasso brings $179 million at auction, which may sound like a lot for art until you consider Hulu paid $180 million for the Seinfeld rights
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Cruise ship arrives in Vancouver, BC carrying one more bloated carcass than usual
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| Mon May 11, 2015 |
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Olive Garden will offer breadstick sandwiches this summer. No word on whether it will come with unlimited breadsticks, creating a massive recursive breadstick singularity from which no dough can escape
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If you live in Toronto and thought your morning coffee tasted more corpse-y than usual, there's a reason for that
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Wait a minute, so you're saying drinking lots of Belgian beer can give you a svelte beer belly? Subby can drink to that
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A triumph for DeBlasio environmental policy, as muggers are successfully re-introduced to their native habitat of Central Park
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STR8SXI, STR8FAN and SEXYQT are all perfectly acceptable Oklahoma license plates. But don't you dare request LGBTALY, because that would be sexual in nature
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"Case of pregnant 10-year-old divides Paraguay." Hopefully between the folks who want to lynch the stepfather who raped her, and the ones who think hangin's too good for him
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Fark ready headline: Swedish group uses gay naked sailor to repel Russian navy
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"Police were able to identify the girls after locating their mother, who told them that her daughters occasionally spent weekends at Miller's home." Well, no red flags there; the dude didn't look sketchy at all
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Don't want to run our app that tracks your movements 24/7, even when you're not working? That's a firing
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