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Sun April 19, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Security researcher booted off flight for pointing out flaw in security
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Guess which Nobel Peace Prize winner is spending $1 trillion on nuclear weapons
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
The medical reporting magic 8 ball says that today caffeine is: good
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Father and daughter with the world's widest tongues easily lick the previous world's record
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this power lifter
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Earthworms rain down on Norway. Residents brace for plague and pestilence
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Nine tips for surviving a packed Japanese train. Number 4: the Michael Jackson technique
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gyrocopter dude can't figure out why his message of campaign finance reform isn't getting through to Congress
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOIN Portland)
 
 
 
♩ ♫ My milk truck brings all the crews to the yard and they're like, "It's blocking the road." Damn right, it's blocking the road. I can clear it, but I have to charge ♩ ♫
source: koin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
What's worse than finding a cockroach in your Big Mac? Finding half a cockroach
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
French authorities seize two tons of cocaine, immediately realize Jerry Lewis isn't funny
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 19 Tyler)
 
 
 
Army morale at six-year low as soldiers are dissatisfied with their jobs and distrust leadership. Which at least means they'll have no trouble eventually adjusting back into mainstream society
source: cbs19.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Yeah a lot of you who have visited the Guitar Center in Manhattan lately, don't quit your day jobs... if you had one to begin with
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A travelling we will go with P-22, the LA mountain lion with quite a following
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slick hiding spot
source: cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf News)
 
 
 
"This is your last chance, either marry me or I will kill you and/or say bad things about you on Facebook"
source: gulfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man yells homophobic slurs, chokes manager, and throws him into elderly woman because the restaurant took an hour to make him an omelette. Boy, does he have egg on his face
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ECM Post Review)
 
 
 
Small town editor writes entire column on why he deleted an inappropriate Facebook post from the paper's site. Fark's moderators prepare for book deal
source: ecmpostreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Today's Mad Libs headline comes to you from Iowa: "Chiropractor performs exorcisms and barters for sex with patients"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Man runs three marathons to raise money for child he's never met so she can go to Disney World after her dad died. Subby ate an entire box of Little Debbies for breakfast
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Is that an FM radio in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
For the first time in a century, bald eagles are back in New York. See, that whole 'Freedom Tower' thing worked
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
California: LEAVE ALMONDS ALONE
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Hermione to set sail once again for America. Harry drunk dials Cho Chang
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
John Hinckley Jr. is now spending some time in the wild and is trying to adjust to a normal life. Dating is difficult for a guy like him, but he's open to raising some Foster children
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Wildfire in California threatens hundreds of homes. Fire would have been out much earlier, but water conservation efforts have the firefighters trying to put out the blaze with blankets
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this deadly crossbreed
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: That time I cheated death
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hundreds feared to have drowned after a migrant boat sinks off the coast of Libya, could be the worst naval disaster since the Battle of Cape Matapan
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Utah Independent)
 
 
 
"The large party-hat-shaped penis...has been returned to its original location"
source: suindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
BMW recalling 92,000 Mini-Coopers after people start realizing how goddamned ridiculous they look driving the things
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Undercover Minnesota cops bust bar for selling Wisconsin's "Spotted Cow" beer after 'anonymous tip', noticing beer taps on bar's Facebook page. Will next investigate if the Radisson is 'pretty good'
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Behold the power of the internet
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Family wins back gold coins worth $80 million. You can't put a value on things like that
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Where you going with that Mastiff hound?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bakersfield Now)
 
 
 
If you happen to know how a heavy marble headstone made for a U.S. Army veteran buried in Oklahoma ended up in an alley in downtown Bakersfield, Veterans Affairs officials would like to have a word with you
source: bakersfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Kate Middleton's friend has been holding orgies in the UK's first sharia hotel, and didn't think to invite even a single farker
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some guy named soosh)
 
 
 
Our host isn't in the studio tonight, but here is an archived Livingston Stapler Company Presents show from March 10, 2012 for you to enjoy
source: sacredartichoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happens when a cop doesn't fear for his life?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Can you really be called a 'Tree Ninja' if police catch you trying to chop a tree down with a hammer?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"By the time Orlando firefighters and police arrived, the kitchen staff had cleaned the floor, rinsed the meat grinder and thrown the remains of Simpkins' fingers and the ground pork into the trash"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BenSwann.com)
 
 
 
What happens in Kansas when a kid knows more about a subject than their teacher? Child Protective Services seize the kid, police interrogate the kid, then search their house and arrest parents. Take that you fancy book learners
source: benswann.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
When they make this horror movie, the tagline will read: based on true events
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: 'Church of Bacon' protests bank policies
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tail pulling good time
source: 40.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Creator of the indoor mall dies at age 91. Headstone to feature "you are here" map locator of the cemetery
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Move over Liberty Llamas. Freedom Zebras are now all the rage
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Tenants of a Somerville, New Jersey rooming house are shocked to find that the stench they had been smelling for weeks was in fact a dead body and not just how New Jersey usually smells
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
In the entire history of the world, there was only one brief moment, lasting about 70 years, where you could put something under lock and key--a chest, a safe, your home--and have complete, unwavering certainty that no intruder could get to it
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Distractify)
 
 
 
What parents did to their kids in the '50s and '60s that would be considered horrible now. With some nice slightly faded vintage photos. Subby can remember several more
source: distractify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Improve upon this elaborate artsy shot
source: jacynthecarrier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
News: Man gets pulled over after numerous 911 calls about his driving. Fark: With a cage of puppies on top of his van
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Despite the fact nobody has ever been executed by using nitrogen gas except in movies, Oklahoma decides to give it the greenlight over the chair
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Animal rights protesters? In MY circus? Send in the clowns
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Police officer will receive counseling after being caught on camera saying what everybody is thinking about bike lanes
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
Ohhhh, ANTI-catcalling? Fark it, I'm goin' anyway
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Ohio school has word on girl's T-shirt photoshopped out of class photo. Get your popcorn ready: The word was 'feminist'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Caribbean360)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Increase in demonic possession prompts Vatican to train army of exorcists
source: caribbean360.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
Demonstrating its commitment to swift and sure justice, the Louisiana Board of Ethics imposes a $3,000 fine on a woman who employed her son for eleven months over eight years ago
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Noted real doctors demand that Columbia University remove noted fake Doctor Oz from their faculty
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Pirate Bay co-founder decries "inhumane conditions" in his Swedish prison. Those conditions? Denying him a Nintendo
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Most people cannot really do anything from their hospital beds, this woman is accused of dealing meth from hers
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two-thirds of those under 35 say they feel unpopular, unhappy, and wish they had more friends
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Texas House approves gutting municipal fracking bans and would give the state the exclusive right to regulate the oil and gas industry, because Texas
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Bicycling is an excellent way to get Tampa police to notice you, if you're black
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Mother gets her daughter's school to rename their father-daughter dance to Spring Fling because not all children have fathers in their lives. And not surprisingly someone has a problem with this
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Is America ready for marijuana moguls who can light their bongs with $100 bills?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man with his princess
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Kentucky researcher snaps pic of Bigfoot: "I know the photo might not convince anyone, but if you add the sightings, the tracks I found, the stick structures, and the personal experiences I had while in this area, then it just might" (w/pic)
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man gets worldwide attention after growing 33-pound vegetable, says he now comes home beet, just wants to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Although the evidence is still spotty, health authorities say Disneyland measles outbreak is over
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Cats aren't just for crazy cat ladies. More pet households own cats than other animals, according to the Humane Society. Cats rule households and now they rule the internet. So learn how to speak fluent Cat to make Caturdays more pleasant
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
A former U.S. Navy aircraft carrier that survived a Japanese torpedo strike and was a massive guinea pig for two atomic bomb blasts looks remarkably intact at the bottom of the Pacific
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Judicial Watch)
 
 
 
In response to an earlier report describing an ISIS camp on the US/Mexico border, the FBI has set up a task force that is meeting to determine their strategy to bag the whistleblower of the story. Sleep well
source: judicialwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Locals freak out when National Guard troops march thru Ontario neighborhood on "training exercise." 1812 wasn't THAT long ago, Canucks
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Whoa just wait a minute, are you saying that when you helped bring KFC over to Britain the Brits ruined it? No way could the Brits ruin good food
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Addiction In America: 14 Groovy Graphs
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New study says the perfect salary for happiness is $75,000. "More money had no measurable effect on day-to-day contentment"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When forced to choose between two equally undesirable options, the only thing to do was choose the most ridiculously expensive option
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
U.S. no longer needs the King ♣ to complete the Iraqi straight flush
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hey, Doc, can you help me with my erectile dysfunction? Well, I'm a dentist, but i'll give it a shot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
The glass around the zoo's gorilla enclosure is as strong as a gorilla. Almost
source: journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Circa News)
 
 
 
To honor the new "meme law," Photoshop a Russian public figure that in no way harms their "honor, dignity and business"
source: circanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Android/iPhone debate gets stabby
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Sleeping on the sidewalk is fine, if you aren't homeless
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Much like a bad penny, the Fark Weird News Quiz is back. The only quiz on Earth that has been scientifically proven to make you taller and more muscular (if you're female) or get larger, more attractive breasts (if you're male)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Southwest Airlines passenger who repeatedly jabbed snoring seatmate with penis kicked off flight
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EWAO)
 
 
 
Meet the man who holds the patent that could destroy Monsanto
source: ewao.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Coast Guard cutter docks in San Diego with 14 tons of cocaine seized off Central and South America. Authorities plan to unload all 10 tons, ship the 6 tons to evidence, and use all 3 tons to construct anti-cartel cases
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this perturbed penguin
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Adiós, Sábado Gigante
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The BarkPost)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why your dog will not stop following you around? Here comes the science
source: barkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
South Florida has lost 9,000 millionaires. You'd think they would have some sort of tracking system in place
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Washington Highway Patrol involved in major sting operation on state's busiest freeway
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
China was already exporting goods to the U.S. as far back as 600 AD
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese woman shares her bed with a pig, says it's helping to prepare her for marriage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Senior citizens home uses morning video messages to aid patients with Alzheimer's and dementia. "It's an idea borrowed from an unlikely place, the 2004 Adam Sandler movie '50 First Dates.'" So Adam Sandler movies serve a purpose. Who knew?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Julius Caesar may have suffered mini strokes, not epilepsy. Conclusion based on accounts of his final symptoms being a series of stabbing pains
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
A cop staying at a Residence Inn was bound with bedsheets and robbed at gunpoint after life imitates Seinfeld
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Two Vermont lawmakers give their colleagues the most heinous ultimatum: Give us pot or we'll take away your booze
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Convicted murderer covered in tattoos decides to carve 666 into his forehead, forgets how mirrors work
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Your "Friday News Dump Day" story: House quietly passes a bill that gives tax exemptions to mega donors to secret superPACs. Ah, nothing like legalized bribery to start off your weekend
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Blaming your weight gain on your childhood. New excuseness: Blaming your weight gain on the design of your kitchen
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Don't think of all those surveillance cameras in Boston as having thirty times the zoom, citizen. Think of them as having thirty times the safety
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Well, it's official: Welfare recipients in Brownbackistan can no longer go swimming. *wipes hands on pants* See, *that's* how you solve poverty, people
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Culinary students compete for the chance to have their tang eaten by astronauts in space
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Disney stock rose $2 billion yesterday after the release of the new Star Wars trailer
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This story is the Rube Goldberg of fail
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kentucky Derby expresses concerns about hitting Peak Douchebag, bans Selfie Sticks
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
A professional game hunter has been trampled to death by an elephant he was attempting to kill for its ivory. Tag is for the elephant
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Brewing company makes beer out of human urine. So Budweiser finally comes clean?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pilots crashing planes? No problem Just get rid of pilots. Wait, what?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Is Christianity Dark Enough For Millenials?" I dunno, a dude proclaiming peace and love and living with 12 dudes while having a mistress who was a hooker then gets executed for questioning authority sounds pretty dark
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
The world's largest McDonald's is being destroyed so a new world's largest McDonald's can be built in the same spot
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man in Chef's uniform steals grill from Wal-Mart, though the important part is that he might not be a real chef, just someone dressed like one
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Appalachia grudgingly accepts Obamacare, marrying outside the family
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop Ric Romero and his new toy
source: scontent.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Make strange cameo in Medieval literature, do I
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
My question to Mr Putin. Can you order Boris to allow his wife to have a dog?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If you want to strip in Saskatchewan, make sure it's for charity
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dog flu outbreak discovered in Chicago is now spreading throughout the Midwest. Your dog wants Tamiflu
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
"Knock Knock. Who's there? The pilot"
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you and your wife can't settle on a baby name for your child, the worst thing you could possibly do is turn to the internet for help
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
At long last, Taco Bell finally opens a shop in Japan. Here's a helpful video explaining how to get there
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Kenny Loggins sunbathes in the danger zone
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
One of Walmart's few intelligent employees was smart enough to pull off a $240,000 return scam
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Australian feral cats are eating literally all of nation's wild mammals, and they can't be eradicated. "The only place many mammal species are secure are inside cat proof fences"
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2015
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
No explanation on why parrot on a caffeine binge was driving but at least it survived the crash
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Great, Al-Qaeda now has their own airport. Still, has to be better to fly out of than O'Hare
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
Flakka me? No. Flakka you. And the palm tree you rode in on
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Your honor, the defendant could not possibly have killed that man, because I did"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"An American who suffered third-degree burns to 70 per cent of his body in a childhood accident has faced his fears by becoming a firefighter" (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this espionage operation
source: cdn2.img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBOI2 Boise)
 
 
 
Good: Baby bump. Bad: Baby speed bump
source: kboi2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit has 'come to Jesus' moment after realizing they're suing the wrong church
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Pat "Big Daddy" Robertson says to smack your kid around so he'll stop listening to devil music
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
World's oldest pilot is 95, farmers markets installing air defenses
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Judge hears lawsuit filed by deaf inmate. Well, at least someone can
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nazi cross-dressing nymphomaniac dominatrix prostitute fired for being a banker. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Woman jumps out of a window while police were trying to.... who cares about the story, this is all about the his-and-her mugshots
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
London homeowner applies for permission to demolish house and rebuild with two-story basement. Neighbors object. Homeowner responds in hilarious fashion
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Did you hear the one about what the Polish archaeologists pulled out of an 18th century latrine?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Ever do your own crawfish boil? Make your own crab cakes? If you're ready to enjoy shellfish, is it time to go to a restaurant or do you have a recipe to share?
source: fishcooking.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Damn it feels good to be an ice cream gangsta
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Looks like the Fairfax County Police Department is going to need to find another spokesman to announce that their spokesman was just arrested for kiddie porn
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ohio man charged with trying to help the Islamic State, or as they say in Ohio, THE Islamic State
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunderland Echo)
 
 
 
Drunk motorcyclist found trapped under his own bike. Twice
source: sunderlandecho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: Have you read Hamlet? No? Okay, well here it goes...my father was murdered when I was young, and through a string of eerie coincidences I learned my uncle probably murdered him. Should I stage a fake play to get my uncle to confess?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: guy gets a tattoo of his newborn baby. You farking idiot: on the whole side of his face
source: starcasm.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Looks like there's gonna be a transgender model on the cover of Men's Health. Man, that's gonna make the two straight guys who read Men's Health *really* uncomfortable while they're checking each other out in the shower
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Astonishing" footage has emerged of the moment an apocalyptic storm turned day into night as it engulfed a busy city in Belarus and we have that footage
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this alarmist
source: img.sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak, but he'll settle for just about anything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Toronto raccoon climbs 650' crane to take a dump
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Beautiful snowflakes complain about the 'presentation' of their school lunch, with a--*looks at pic* Holy God, who's the cook over there, Mussolini?
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Fishing boat crew: We got a big one in the nets Captain, what should we do? Captain: Being it's a Russian submarine, we're probably going to need a bigger boat
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Ben and Jerry's is making beer. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So that's how it works: Iranian cleric claims thinking about another woman while having sex with your partner will make your children gay
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Brighton's tree ninja has been captured. That would be the new Brighton of transient college students, not the old Brighton of beaches and literary novels
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
ATTENTION: Ambulance personnel do not have the equipment or training to handle downed pigeon calls
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Finance)
 
 
 
Use mobile banking? Here's five ways you're doomed. DOOMED
source: dailyfinance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Donut goes where no donuts have gone before after Swedish brothers launch 'first donut in space' in Norway
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Medical professor attends son's abstinence-only sex ed class, live tweets the proceedings: "Paper babies are being handed out to EVERYONE. They have ALL HAD CONDOM FAILURE AND THE WHOLE CLASS IS PREGNANT"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Washington DC celebrates Emancipation Day. It was actually 153 years ago, but better late than never
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
High school student not allowed to attend class because her black leather lace-ups aren't the type of shoes they're looking for, even though they are black leather lace-ups. What a bunch of heels
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The reason why there are far fewer breweries in the south is exactly what you think it is
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Cancer robs woman of identity
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeaway)
 
Audio
 
Thirty years ago, Tommy Tutone (the band) played its last show. A couple months ago, they reunited in New York. Here's an interview with them talking about how they thought they'd made it...and how wrong they were
source: thetakeaway.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Hobo graffiti is back, and if you see one of these symbols chalked on your house, you are going to be - or just have been - robbed
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's pretext for SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN: Johnny Cash lyrics
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The first immortal human has already been born
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
"At the age of 9, Kim Jong Un raced the chief executive of a foreign yacht company who was visiting North Korea at the time," he won that race "despite the odds"... But wait, there's more
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"This is not the first time radioactive materials have gone missing in Mexico"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Democrat)
 
 
 
"If the drought doesn't kill your lawn, zombie gnomes will"
source: dailydemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
On Jackie Robinson day, let's remember when he was fired from the New York Post for being too Republican
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Jail to inmates: Buy underwear in commissary or go commando
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Rub me tender (Not safe for work)
source: dangerousminds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handout
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
And now, all the good things about the California drought
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If reality shows about ghosts do well on cable TV, and reality shows about Alaska do well on cable TV, think how well a reality show about ghosts in Alaska will do on cable TV
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Another cop who can't mind his own business goes rogue...finding diner's lost wedding ring in plumbing while moonlighting as restaurant chef: "In the past year when it seems all you hear and see on TV are negative things about police officers"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Well, it looks like you can have a stripper school. Just be quiet when running it
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Former Obama pilot concludes TWA Flight 800 was shot down. "This investigation smelled like bull all those years back, and time has done nothing to soften that stench. I don't believe the findings, and neither do hundreds of other pilots that I know"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Lïndström, Mïnnësöta tö gët ïts ümläuts bäck
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
And you get a grope, you get a grope, you get a grope
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Texas aquarium accidentally kills nearly all fish in its biggest indoor tanks
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Want to fight pollution? You could block traffic in your village
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How do you confuse a taser on your chest with a revolver on your hip? First, falsify your weapons training records
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Watch a knuckle crack on an MRI for the first time
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Russia straps a jet engine to a tractor to clean carrier decks, because ... why the hell not?
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
You know the economy is bad when thieves on bikes using slingshots are robbing San Francisco stores. Hey, it's cheaper than bullets and gasoline
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Full video of SpaceX CRS-6 barge arrival released. We're gonna need some bigger RCS thrusters
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police consider manslaughter charges for man who shook four week old baby. Fark: Who died 20 years later
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Mother of the year candidate: Sure I left my 4 year-old home alone at night, but it's not like I didn't give her instructions about what to eat and when to go to bed
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 519: "Money Shots 3" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2015
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Let me introduce you to the internet's next mercilessly bullied teen
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen sent home from school because of gingervitis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Convicted felon hatches brilliant escape plan which basically consisted of just walking out the front door
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this distortion
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
New Mexico duck tests positive for bird flu - according to some quack
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Virginia Record)
 
 
 
Woman sues Disney for implanting Chip under her skin. No word on Dale's whereabouts
source: wvrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
If you've been wondering why workplace productivity has been down and the Internet has been slow the past few days, it's because a mother gave her son an allowance, found it torn in pieces, and decided to take a picture and post it on Facebook
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Six months ago: People are moving back into the cities, the suburbs are dying. Now: People are moving back to the suburbs because they're sick of the cities
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop what you see on this paper
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
"Free-range" parents sue CPS, pointing out they have more reason to fear the government snatching their children off the street than they do bad guys in Free Candy vans
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts isn't even fit to serve on a jury
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
US Post Office declares war on Congress. Lands attack Gyrocopter on front lawn of capitol building
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What could be more awkward than meeting your fiancée's dad for the first time? How about recognizing each other from a local gay cruising site and then hooking up
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Today's baffling Japanese burger is the shrimpburger, hold the shrimp
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
I've got a great idea: Let's just tow the icebergs from Alaska to California and sell them some water! Seriously, we can't miss with this, we'll make millions! Who's with me? Guys? Anyone?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
I think that I should never see, a man high on flakka, humping a tree
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Protecting the huge manatee from huge humanity asshats
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Hitler was a dick
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"A Long Island man set his rental car ablaze while trying to kill bedbugs inside the vehicle, police say"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How to remain cool as a cucumber as a Buckingham Palace guard after falling on your arse in front of hundreds of tourists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Things you learn being nude in Jamaica
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
In addition to dogs and bees, Portland Airport has hired some goats and a llama. TSA workers reportedly worried
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Clearly, the best thing to do for your city manager of three years who got your city out of bankruptcy and sparked a massive financial turnaround is to fire him
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ohio passes measure saying they are the first in flight, not Connecticut. North Carolina heard saying they have something to say about all of this
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pennsylvania Observer-Reporter)
 
 
 
Meet Cardio Brisket, a calf that was born with a heart defect. Hey, Cardio Brisket alone sounds like a good band name
source: observer-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Susie by the seashore
source: rashap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Not that it's much of a consolation, but if you're up for a small break on Tax Day... try these businesses out for a freebie or a break of some sort
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Right hand on red, left boob on green
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
What is the world coming to when you can't even go shopping wearing nothing but a giant adult diaper and a smile?
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Police officers find teen out after curfew, beat him into submission. Just kidding, they all chip in and buy him a new skateboard: "The skateboard that the kid had had been broken, it was all chipped up, and just mangled" (w/pics)
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Inigo_Montoya.jpg
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Somebody has now created a bicycle with a safety cage that bounces off trucks and buses instead of getting dragged under them. Or you could just ride on the sidewalks
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man goes to police station to complain about the hot weather, is advised not to waste police time
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
A Smithsonian reporter is one of the few people allowed to enter the Chauvet Cave every year, the "world's greatest repository of Paleolithic art"
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fkn Brilliant)
 
 
 
You know that scene in 'Caddyshack' where the caddies are allowed to swim in the club's pool one day a year for fifteen minutes? This is just like that except for dogs
source: fknbrilliant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Little girl sends unique hand-written message to her dad. Difficulty: He's on the ISS
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing 76 car batteries from Walmart. I hope he gets charged
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
Colorado launches nation's first radio station dedicated to coverage of the legal marijuana industry, attracts advertisers and hundreds of followers on social media: "Most people don't get a response like this on radio, let alone for an AM station"
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
No one still has any farking clue what experimental food-like substances go into a Hot Pocket or a Cheeto. And Congress is there to make sure it stays that way
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ebola 1 year later, lessons learned. #1) Don't get Ebola
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just click this link to find out how to protect yourself from phishing attacks
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
We have a ISIS suicide car bomber in the air.... REPEAT ..in the air. BOOM
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you inject yourself with cement and tire sealant to alter your appearance, it may not turn out as well as you expect
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2015
(Metro)
 
 
 
One of the Internets greatest memes "Success Kid," who is now eight and in need of some payback from you meme lovers. He needs some help getting his father a new kidney
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Put away the Farmers' Almanac, honey, I'm going with the burning snowman's exploding head
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The worst baby names in the world, revealed. Come for 'Orgasm,' stay for 'Obamaniqua'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
If you add a "possession of a deadly weapon" charge to your rap sheet while doing a stretch in County, it probably won't enhance your rep in the yard if that weapon is a spork
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
In Arizona the cops don't stop suspects by shooting them in the back. They plow into them with their squad cars at high speed
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Government sets aside millions of dollars for victims of police torture in the corrupt tin-pot republic of Chicago
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Porn star runs for political office. Photo suggests that his movies were not huge at the box office
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Fark's feel-good story of the day: 'How booze saved my life'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Western scene
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
San Pablo cop arrested after allegedly buying drugs with child in car. Usually drug dealers only take cash
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Residents need $1mil to purchase land where they have established public gardens to feed the poor. City contributes dozens of police and a bulldozer
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Ducks wander around downtown DC for no clear reason"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Good: Man in online relationship finds out upon meeting woman for first time that she likes to swing. Bad: A bat
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman glues her naked boyfriend to a chair. Needs help soonish
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
This has got to be the most embarrassing way possible to rupture a tendon in your thumb. Ok, wait, it's at least No. 2
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Two TSA agents fired for manipulating passenger screening systems in order to grope hot men
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Bad news: Drone delivering asparagus crashes and burns. Good news: Grilled asparagus
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Nookie Monster arrested in Times Square after grabbing teen's breasts
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Song titles. Difficulty: No Stairway
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
In what may be the greatest meeting of pseudo-intellectuals this century, celebrity has-been Pamela Anderson to visit Sheriff Joe to extoll the benefits of his meatless jail meals
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Magazine)
 
 
 
No one knows what to do with this 76-foot hole in Chicago. Suggestion: Leave it the way it is as a monument to Illinois politics
source: chicagomag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you hack the lottery by modifying security cameras, sneaking into glass computer room, installing a rootkit in 59 seconds, and setting up offshore company to collect winnings, you may want to wear a fake mustache when buying the actual ticket
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Computer games can hold some of the most terrifying, nightmarish creatures imaginable: eldritch Lovecraftian horrors, undead zombies, fashionistas
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
San Antonio chef and food truck owner given a $2,000 fine by police--because she was giving her food away to the homeless rather than selling it to hipsters
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
It's now official: Generalissimo Francisco Franco was a dictator. In other news, he's still dead
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(97x Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Woman orders pizza and asks for the "cutest delivery boy" to "tell me I'm pretty" when he delivers. And that's all he did. Honest
source: 97xonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fremont News Messenger)
 
 
 
Give a mouse a cookie and he'll want a glass of milk. Try to set a mouse on fire and you burn your whole goddamn garage down
source: thenews-messenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Minnesota forbids making eye contact with senators, as they may feel threatened and attack
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
North Carolina bill to allow unrestricted concealed carry would allow guns anywhere in the state. Duke may suck, but you better be damn careful about saying so
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Last minute tax advice: a Snickers bar is not a deductible business expense
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
My bathroom encounter. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News Radio)
 
 
 
Washington University rowing team has an "Oh carp" moment during practice
source: abcnewsradioonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Herpes? In my sunbed? It's more likely than you think
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Robert Kennedy Jr. would like to apologize for comparing the way vaccines have inflicted autism upon countless children to the Holocaust, will use "other words" to describe the "autism crisis" in the future
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
NC murder suspect with poorly drawn tattoos found sleeping on Daytona Beach
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
Perhaps the biggest risk of robbing someone by bike is that they could beat you and steal your bike
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New survey finds five of the ten unhappiest U.S. cities are in Ohio. Residents of the other five said they were unhappy but at least they weren't living in Ohio
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Schrödinger's whale
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blackmore Vale Magazine)
 
 
 
Bomb squad finds grenade in Dorset village, lets a local five-year old kid blow it up
source: blackmorevale.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
American teens are more stressed today than adults. Especially trying to figure out how to eventually pay off $100,000 of college loans with only minimum wage jobs
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(The Week)
 
 
 
Guess what, you ever-increasing population? Sharks need to eat, too
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Robot stranded inside Fukushima plant, begins plotting revenge
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(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The government takes away your rights, nothing. The NSA spies on you, nothing. Start charging you for volleyball that's a protesting
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lighthouse
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Some blockhead comes up with a unique way to rebuild damaged coral reefs
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(Aspen Times)
 
 
 
Colorado marijuana taxes finally start helping schools: "We have been putting Band-Aids on schools that really need to be rebuilt. To receive $40 million per year in marijuana taxes would provide more than just new roofs and boilers"
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(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Tulsa wannabe cop that shot an unarmed man has become a not-so-wannabe manslaughter defendant
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
How far down the list of "Annoying Problems That Need Government Regulations" do you have to go before you get to hair-dryer noise in restrooms?
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(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you've ever thought you wanted to kill yourself after waiting on hold for the next available operator, you should imagine how this guy felt
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
High Times magazine's New York-rooted editor-in-chief Dan Skye: "The Colorado cannabis industry is an economic miracle. Everyone in the United States is following Colorado's lead"
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
University of Wisconsin-Madison students snap, crackle, and pop the world's record for largest Rice Krispies treat
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
After woman asks teenagers to quiet down in movie theater, they assault her in parking lot. Two of the alleged attackers were caught on security cam, so if you see either of these young girls.... Hold on, those are teenagers? Seriously?
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(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Without any warning, Walmart suddenly starts closing down stores Monday evening
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(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
If you light a cigarette while making a bomb, you might be an idiot
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just after they made the vinyl LP a high-priced collectible, collectors now proclaim the VHS videocassette will become a high-priced collectible, thanks to fools who threw out their VHS tapes en masse
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Nudist candidate for mayor of San Francisco holds up Wiener on way to work
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You can't spell "San Diego vacation cruise" without "Norovirus"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
According to a new study by the National Academy of Sciences, if people move faster to get away from a tsunami, more of them will survive. Wow, really?
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
Couple dies after crashing their Ford Model T. This is not a repeat from the 1920s
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
You shall not overpass
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Americans often look upon British food as bland and stodgy, or just plain weird. This item will do nothing to change that. Behold: Breakfast in a can
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
Blackwater contractors sentenced to 30 years in prison for Iraqi massacre
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You gotta break a lotta eggs to get three years in the coop
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(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Unable to pay for his drinks at a bar, man invents "Flaming Bouncer"
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently passenger jetliner pre-flight checklists do not include "make sure all the baggage handlers have gotten off"
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bad day for the planet
source: vokrugsveta.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: A vote for Dickbutt is a vote for America
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
Were Lincoln and Nixon gay? Well, certainly not for each other
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(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Russia bans what the internet is for
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(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Man shoots at armadillo, hits mother-in-law by mistake ... BY MISTAKE. Yeah, that's the ticket
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(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Animals acting weird causes mass hysteria in Japan that another major earthquake might hit soon
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(USA Today)
 
 
 
When your car goes off the road and gets stuck in the mud, you call a tow truck. You do the same thing for a 737 that went off a taxiway in Houston, you just need a slightly bigger tow truck
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(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Everything is better when it's wrapped in bacon. Well everything, that is, except the door handles on an Oklahoma mosque
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
As the Montana Historical Society celebrates its 150th year, an anonymous envelope arrives in the mail--containing the original hand-written 1865 document creating the Historical Society. Staffers' typically dry, bureaucratic response? "HOLY SH*T"
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(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this door to another dimension
source: cbsnews1.cbsistatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Deck chair from the Titanic up for auction, perfect for re-arranging
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ it's a lion, get in the car
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(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Allergy season is here, and it's time for EVERYBODY TO PANIC
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Rogue microwave ovens are behind the mysterious radio signals plaguing astronomers. So if you're burning popcorn in the microwave at work, you're technically committing two crimes against the universe
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
Remember, guys, you can make jokes about Canadians all you want, but keep in mind . . . they never, ever forget
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
73-year-old millionaire "pay to play cop" who confused gun for Taser, killing unarmed suspect lying subdued on ground, cleared of wrongdoing by Tulsa Sheriff's Office. "You have to remember, this is Oklahoma"
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Judge sentences Jodi Arias to life with no chance of parole for murder, which is kind of silly because she didn't tell that guy to shoot Reagan and it was a long time ago anyway
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(WRAL)
 
 
 
Shooter at large at Wayne Community College in Goldsboro, NC. Just a few miles further south and he'd be in a real pickle
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(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
See, you don't have to pay taxes, because the IRS spells your name in all-caps. Or something. Man, is it just me or are the chemtrails really strong this morning?
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Human Centipede 3 has fans flocking to ATMs, the bisontennial returns, and a severe case of gran larceny: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/5 - 4/11
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(Central Somerset Gazette)
 
 
 
Is this dress-shaped cake blue-and-black or gold-or-white?
source: centralsomersetgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Three people shot outside bowling alley. That's a turkey
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man charged after allegedly threatening to blow up Parliament. Funkadelic still on high alert
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(The Local)
 
 
 
Lithuania claims that Norway is really Arkansas
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(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
Some of the greatest album covers of all time reimagined with Marvel characters. Come for the Ultron crossdressing and stay for the Ultron crossdressing. Did I mention the Ultron crossdressing? Cause that totally happened
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
People walk in L.A.? Citation please
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Penis transplant doctor talks about his patient, reveals he had to veto the patient's idea of transplanting four extra penises onto himself so his pants would fit like a glove
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
Study finds that a college degree is the key to a middle class life. In other news, the key to an upper class life is still wealthy parents
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman returns from shopping to find nasty note chiding her for parking in handicapped space when she is clearly not handicapped. Yeah, you pretty much know where this is going
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(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crystal collection
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(AL.com)
 
 
 
Four underage LSU bros find themselves Eastbound & down when Alabama sheriffs bust them hauling 100 cases of Natty Light to Spring Break
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(Principal Sayof)
 
 
 
Look, this is America. You can't just let your kids run around freely and be kids. And to think they were almost a third of a mile from their home, the horror, the horror
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(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Survey says nearly 9 in 10 US adults now have health insurance, cementing Obama's place as history's greatest monster
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(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
Secret Service acts heroically by not tackling, tazing and beating 4 year old who climbed under White House fence
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Reefer Madness leads to a life of poor choices and despair
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(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man gets the Dale Earnhardt Driving Experience while participating in the Richard Petty Driving Experience
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(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
An archaeological dig has discovered that Canada's parliament buildings were built on top of a dump full of wine bottles, beer bottles, champagne bottles, tumblers and glasses. That sounds about right
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Dear Coleen: I had sex with 25 men at a party and now I'm pregnant, what should I do?
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If the Hollywood casting couch is a rocking, don't .... holy crap, that's an earthquake
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(WGRZ Buffalo)
 
 
 
Maybe no one in Buffalo will remember the Great Underground Fire of 2015, but at least we have footage of a pothole cover being blown sky high right in the middle of the city
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(Komo)
 
 
 
Because sometimes while high on meth you just have to break in to an apartment complex, get naked and hide in a small storage unit
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You know how in the movies it's always funny and everything ends up okay when a teenager without a license takes his mom's SUV out for a drive without her knowledge? Real life is not like the movies
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(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
OM NOM NOM: Marijuana businesses gobble up Colorado Springs industrial space: "We've crossed the threshold; we have people calling looking for industrial spaces and it's very difficult to find any space available for just general business purposes"
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