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Sun March 15, 2015
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Want a 1964 Mustang in pristine condition? That can be arranged
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Someone's invented a skyscraper that doesn't cast a shadow. A VAMPIRE SKYSCRAPER
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this captain and his ship
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Navy Times)
 
 
 
Coast Guard scraps plan to test its members' physical fitness, cites the extreme difficulty in counting pull-ups in remote locations. In other news, life vest futures are up 20 points
source: navytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Leaf that was not pot gets Virginia 6th grader suspended from school for a year
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
There's a small community of thriving artists in the Midwest, but you've probably never heard of it
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
There is a buyer's market out there for "haunted dolls," and they command big bucks on the most bizarre collector's market
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Tonight's series finale of The Jinx spoiled by real life
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these ceiling light cone thingees
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Are you smart enough to have worked for Thomas Edison? If you don't know the answers to very important questions such as "What state has the largest amethyst mines?" or "What part of Germany do toys come from?" you probably aren't
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Poor rural schools need teachers, and the solution is not to offer more money but to use better marketing
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Vatican sanctions military force to protect Christians in the Holy Land. This is not a repeat from 1095
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
♫ "It's my party and I'll burn if I want to" ♫
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cuban officials arrested after stealing 8 million eggs. It's all ova now
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man feels good after haggling down a $1 painting for 50 cents at a yard sale. Feels even better when it's appraised at $10,000
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these readers
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Iceland abandons plans to join the EU, and holy mackerel is their justification fishy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man is kidnapped, held for two days, dressed in a forensic suit, shot through the kneecaps and dumped along a deserted road, Police SUSPECT it may be a gang hit
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Boyfriend to crowdfunders: "Girlfriend will dump me unless you send me to Miami spring break"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
"I'm alright, no need to worry about my knee," says man after winning $450K gopher hole lawsuit
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour (9 pm AKDT/10 pm PDT), it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 14, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman with knife gets into fight with man over alcohol, leaves him with 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Sorry, there is no "stench from decaying body downstairs" clause that allows you to break your lease
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Yellowstone hot spring unexpectedly turns green because of tourists throwing in lucky St Patrick's Day coins (pic)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pocono Record)
 
 
 
Good News: More Americans than ever are reaching 100+ years old. Bad News: Evidence provided by false social security records. Fark: No one can do anything about it
source: poconorecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Medal of Honor recipient jumps on a grenade
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tough guys
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British police say busted drug-smuggling ring had enough cannabis to give two joints to every person who lives in Britain
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Torquay Herald Express)
 
 
 
Batteries stolen from portable stoplights in construction zone. Police still have some leads, hope to charge someone
source: torquayheraldexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man loses his job after mercilessly beating a police officer's fist with his face
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Class action suit challenging $90 million worth of illegal red light camera tickets settled by paying $2 million to plaintiffs and $2 million to plaintiffs' lawyers
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Notoriously ugly bus station dubbed the "mouth of hell" to be demolished by controlled implosion, over no objection whatsoever: "Is that smelly cafe still there in the basement? You'd see people dry heaving before they got on their buses"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
First the good news: Scientists have created a drug that will make your sex life better than ever. Now the bad news: It requires an injection into your penis
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Cops: "Raid you later, alligator" Crooks: "In a while, crocodile"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
While everyone else is still waiting for winter to melt, Southern California is broiling in a record-breaking heat wave
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this window hanger outer
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
How are you planning to celebrate Pi day?
source: space.io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Guy who murdered wife claims that the "Karma Kandy Orange Ginger" pot candy made him do it, and not their mounting debt and life insurance money
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Agents said they were undetected until a marked car showed up outside for an unrelated incident. At that point, it looked like something out of a movie with dozens of people running away, leaving behind drugs and money, officials said
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
The Son-of-Sam defense is back in play
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Law Tribune)
 
 
 
This is why you hire a professional and insured tree trimmer
source: ctlawtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you are a super villain looking for a new global super lair, here are some great ideas
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
More and more Americans are buying fancy toilet paper, so that's a sign of...something economical
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Freedom isn't free. Especially if you're illegally squatting on an abandoned military base that the government wants to sell
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Time to make the donuts. Time to make the donuts. Time to put out the burning police cruiser
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
The Kremlin doesn't think Fark is very amusing lately. "We've already said this a hundred times. This isn't funny any more"
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Other than the chemicals, trans fats, and an overload of sodium and artery-clogging saturated fat, microwave popcorn is really healthy for you
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Judge gives man who fatally punched a soccer referee 8-15 years, after the widow holds up a red card
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
I heard you liked beer and cocktails so here are some cocktails made with beer
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is starting to understand what Benedict XVI was going through; says he might only have a few years left
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you pave it, they will come
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Caption this Roman emperor
source: l3.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
"I think a basic observation can be made and that is that using a selfie stick makes a person look like a dork"
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Animal Shelter brings adoptable puppies and kittens to offices for "snuggle delivery," say they got the idea from outcall escort services
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
"Of all the Photoshops, in all the threads, in all the internets, she walks into mine"
source: 40.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"Global warming is a hoax because look at all this snow." Yeah, about that...
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Olaf the one footed cat found a human to wrap around his remaining paw and gets a happy home
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Afghan Air Force's first female fixed-wing pilot flies with the Blue Angels
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Auction for Seattle's "Up" house doesn't go down well
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
"I don't honestly know what the stereotype looks like for a heroin smuggler, but I don't think a couple of senior citizens driving a handicapped license plate car with their little cocker spaniel really looks like we're much of a threat to anybody,"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Good: You buy the winning powerball ticket. Bad: Then you lose it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
A broken door at a German university doesn't get repaired so the students a) take another door, b) repair the door, or c) start a meme war
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hipster beards were bacterial sponges long before bacterial sponges were cool
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
You may soon finally be able to download a car. But of course, you wouldn't
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Best Korea once again shows off its capability of dealing with rising sea levels. Take THAT, ocean
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to smear feces all over your face while at your murder trial
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Carl Sagan's son proves that the apple can, in fact, fall very, very, very far -- billions of miles, perhaps -- from the tree
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(clintonemail.ru)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin has spent the past week going through Hillary Clinton's emails (w/ photographic evidence)
source: thefederalistpapers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Police shoot your dog for barking on his own property? All good. Stab a police dog in self defense in your own home? 44 years for you
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 13, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to a very special Friday the 13th edition of the Fark Weird News Quiz. Let your black cat take it for good luck
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zap2It)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin's body doubles spotted in Hollywood (w/photographic evidence)
source: image-cdn.zap2it.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
Feeling patriotic? Enough to buy a Billy Bass that sings the Star Spangled Banner? Well, too bad. The best we can get is this self-wagging 18 inch replica American Flag that's a perfect decoration for your dinner table, right next to the apple pie
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grind TV)
 
 
 
Oh hell no. Not even Vladimir Putin would try this (with photographic evidence)
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Terry Pratchett has died. Buggrit
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Do you feel the need to brag about how big your house is? Well the world's biggest house is on the market. This would be pretty good in the bragging rights department
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin found invading Britain in 55 BC (w/ photographic evidence)
source: businesslife.ba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Laptop full of child porn? It's probably going to sit on the shelf for a while. $50, best I can do
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Cubans go cuckoo for Coco Farms illegal slaughterhouse. Until the alleged operator was arrested for "committing atrocious acts against animals"
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zee News India)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin to fight Vin Diesel to the death (w/photographic evidence)
source: zeenews.india.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Is that a joint? Call in the bomb squad, people
source: blogs.riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this machine is really used for
source: runnersgoal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Fiscal Times)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-Un BFF (w/photographic evidence)
source: thefiscaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man teaches poodle to walk on hind legs dressed as schoolgirl. KINKY
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Two Teslas on display in a shopping mall. 6-year-old kid starts one up and decides to take a test drive
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stourbridge News)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin denied entry to Welsh Assembly (w/ photographic evidence)
source: stourbridgenews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
'Active meth lab found in Indiana Walmart bathroom,' officially the most Midwestern thing to ever happen
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
The only thing weirder than paying for your goldfish to have surgery is paying for two of your goldfish to have surgery
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
So like, the fascist pigs have identified the guy who majorly harshed a bunch of peoples' mellow yesterday, at least one fatally, at the Rainbow Family Gathering in the Apalachicola National Forest, but nobody yet knows what his trip was
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is relaxing and fishing with no shirt on (w/ photographic evidence)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
EMTs in Oregon are evidently under worked. To solve the problem, state is considering a law to allow cyclists to run red lights
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is on a secret mission for "the KBG," or maybe just on a bender (w/ VIDEO evidence)
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Homeless shelter fire leaves 10 people slightly worse off
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Waldo comes out of hiding
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"83% of Syrians have their electricity cut" which is pretty impressive considering that the entire country is in the middle of a threeway
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
If you own your own airplane, it really is your civic responsibility to use it to draw a penis in the sky
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin re-signs with the Tennessee Titans after a busy day in free agency (w/ photographic evidence)
source: fantasynews.cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stellenbosch University)
 
 
 
One of the major problems with penis transplants is finding donors
source: sun.ac.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Category 5 cyclone Pam threatens to wipe Vanuatu off the map; Americans struggle to find Vanuatu on the map
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
German doctor forced to pay over $100K over claims that measles is not a virus, says instead that it's a psychosomatic illness occurs that after intense trauma like being forced to pay $100K
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Friday afternoon Instashop Theme: Where is Vladimir Putin?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
This Salvador Dali story is just surreal
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is hard at work in his office (w/ photographic evidence)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is hiking the Appalachian Trail (w/ photographic evidence)
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Vladmir Putin is hanging out with his girlfriend in the maternity ward (w/ photographic evidence)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Researchers aim to discover why some of us float harmless air biscuits, whilst others play the butt trumpet at full volume
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Humans came to power over Earth in 1610, will not likely give it up until Skynet comes on line
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Priceonomics)
 
 
 
Fifty years of the Wilhelm Scream. Hollywood's most over-used but awesome sound effect
source: priceonomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Indian bride walks out on groom after he answers "17" to "what is 15 + 6?" The groom is then hired by Congress to work on their new tax plan
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Écouter , ne pas parler de la guerre Je en ai parlé une fois, mais je pense que je suis parti avec elle tout droit
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
Fans petition Death to give Terry Pratchett back
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Awesome: University of Oklahoma kicks out useless racists as soon as their video goes public. Fark: But lets football players stay on the team even if they're caught on camera breaking a girl's face
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
You know how it is... Small town. Not much to do in the evening
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"An army officer whose role was to advocate for victims of sexual abuse has been dishonorably discharged and sentenced to two years in prison for organizing a prostitution ring at an army base"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Two people have been injured while bowling in a rebel-controlled area of east Ukraine after a player rolled a grenade instead of a ball
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Good news hippies. You are right, marijuana can provide many health and medicinal benefits... when taken rectally
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"On top of all that, the police threatened to take the kids away if they didn't tell them where this fictional gun was at," their attorney said Thursday
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Celebrity Net Worth)
 
 
 
This guy makes $250k a year to impersonate Zach Galifianakis, so enjoy your hellish job today
source: celebritynetworth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Kentucky police recover five barrels of stolen Wild Turkey bourbon from a man's backyard. Drew?
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Mind the gap
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
No matter how rude the guy is, if you're the owner of a carpet store, you should never leave a message on a customer's phone threatening to kill him and his mother
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach scene
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin has gone missing, just like most of his opponents over the years
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Is a photo of a baby cradled in the American flag unpatriotic? It's too early to tell, since the crying bald eagle hasn't yet revealed what his tears mean
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Seven-week-old baby says first word to his surprised mom. Word to your mother
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Things a pilot doesn't want to hear on approach to landing: #14 - "That row of bright lights is not the airport. It's a storage facility. And there's no runway"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Boston area man repeatedly ticketed for failing to shovel his sidewalk, which he says doesn't exist. Hopes to have photographic evidence some time in June
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Has cannabis affected your memory? Has cannabis affected your memory?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Our Moon is an alien UFO spaceship parked in orbit around Earth, claim totally serious people (with totally convincing pics and videos)
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon man serves 2.5 years in jail for the crime of being a witness to a crime
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
British Parliament votes to ban branding on cigarette packages. Smokers now restricted to getting generic lung cancer
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Do you know where your tunica albuginea is located? No? Word of advice ... Do NOT fracture it (possibly not safe for work)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Colorado pot shops sell record amount of marijuana resulting in excise tax of nearly $2.35 million, and that's just for the month of January. For the children
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northern Territory News)
 
 
 
If you pick a fight with an elephant, the odds are against you. However, the odds escalate to infinity if you're also drunk
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama legislature goes full Wallace, passes a bill that allows any officiant or judge to refuse to marry a same sex couple
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass new island born in the South Pacific. Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha'apai- is the father
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ah, the old "I was sleepwalking when I killed my son so it's not murder" defense
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eugene Register-Guard)
 
 
 
Oregon woman lights herself on fire while driving down freeway, crashes car on overpass, exits car on fire, jumps off overpass landing on pavement 40 feet below. Survives. "Police believe the incident was a suicide attempt"
source: registerguard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 12, 2015
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Ebola headed back to the USA, cuz... why not?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Protip: Rolling around in dog feces will not get you out of an arrest
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC stabbing victim forced to wait 30 minutes for ambulance, so his next stabbing is free
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY1)
 
 
 
Deadly shooting in Brooklyn subway. This is why you should always ask before putting your roast beef on someone's footlong. Even if you're only charging $5
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
If one is going to meet the Queen, wear a hat and don't say fark
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bit9)
 
 
 
Buzzwords "Analytics" and "Orchestration" join "Synergy" and "Proactive" to create the most annoying bingo card of all time (Sponsored link)
source: blog.bit9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man arranges boob job for girlfriend's birthday. Her reaction is just what you'd expect
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
During a bakery heist, thieves ignore the dough and steal the recipes
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New Hempshire: Live free or... umm... whatever man
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wall of cats
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The fact that people use Google to find Facebook, Google and Yahoo shows just how stupid the average search engine user truly is
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"For Sale, One used e-mail server. Clean Hard Drive....See Bill"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Ejaculating into a co-workers coffee could soon be illegal in Minnesota
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bibi's speech to congress, which totally wasn't about the Israeli election, is now appearing in his campaign ads
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Customer: My car will not exceed 40mph. Mechanic: That's just nuts
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What are your favorite ingredients when creating sushi for friends and family? Learn how with just a click to the left.. and then share all the astounding goodness to the right
source: makemysushi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Mistaking it for an ATM, knife-wielding man tries to rob woman at stamp kiosk
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Italian village sets a global record after getting 8 feet of snow in 24 hours. Boston happily surrenders the title
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pastoral field of tulips
source: desktopwallpapers.org.ua   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police investigating 'plan to smuggle thieving dwarf out of UK in plane luggage'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Things you don't expect to happen when out skiing. Number 1 - Get hit by a plane
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman goes for a job interview, can't remember where she parked, goes to the Internet for help finding it: "I'm hoping someone will see it and let me know as I just can't find where it is" (pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
Is Hillary Clinton a succubus from the deepest depths of Hell come to enslave us all like she enslaved her government email?
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Large priceless collection of gold and silver coins dating as far back as 2500 years is found in: A) Greece, B) Rome, or C) Buffalo
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Spanish mayoral candidate campaigns on transparency (possibly not safe for work)
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
April Fools Day to be moved to April 2 because of eclipse
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Uncle Sam wants you....to be a bomb sniffing elephant in the U.S. army
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
"...and for our traffic report watch out for Twizzlers on the highway as a truck crashed and spread these twisty treats all over the place"
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
FDA issues a warning for the anti-smoking drug Chantix. The dangers of smoking and quitting smoking are now dead even
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How the Nazis bombed thousands of Germans for target practice to test their V-2 rockets. Man, that Hitler guy was a bad dude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Bananas from Tesco are infested with hundreds of deadly Brazilian wandering spiders whose bite can cause painful four-hour erections"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Did Jesus have any brothers? Well, we can't answer that but here is an article about it anyway
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dieting dachshund now a leaner weiner
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this underwater encounter
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
On the first day after prison release, man robs same store, same clerk from 14 years earlier. Jail readies the same cell
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods can't name his new restaurant 'Tiger Woods' because Nike owns the rights to his name. Let this be a lesson to anyone considering selling their soul to the Devil
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
You'd think that being laid off would be enough bad news for one day. Yeah, you'd think
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 1130)
 
 
 
Oh no, not again
source: news1130.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
For the first time ever girls can have a two-way with Barbie. And it gets even creepier than that
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Breastfeeding mom upset at United for being told to cover up, even though they waived the $25 blanket charge
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Hell's Grannies strike again, bombing another South Jersey town
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In order to make it seem as if they're doing something to combat institutional racism, Oklahoma University is hiring a Vice President of Diversity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The police want everyone to be on the alert for wax, a marijuana-derived narcotic that's a little bit stronger than marijuana. "Sometimes someone might pass out immediately from just one hit of this stuff"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Caption this royal art inspection
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Now that marijuana is legal in Alaska, lawmakers are diligently working to fine tune the law by criminalizing every single loophole they can find
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good: Krispy Kreme is now selling a Reese's peanut butter doughnut. Bad: Just in the UK
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Take a glazed donut, and fill it with a hot dog, bacon, and raspberry jam. It just needs a name
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Building a 57-storey skyscraper in only 19 days has construction experts floored (w/video)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're planning a trip to Britain, be sure to visit the small Nottinghamshire town of Beeston. Odds are you'll be glad you did
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Two police officers shot outside Ferguson Police Department during a protest. I am sure this will trigger a reasonable and appropriate response to apprehend the perpetrators in a safe manner
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Company erects a huge billboard featuring a topless model dressed as a nun - just ahead of the Pope's visit. Not surprisingly, some people have a problem with that (Not safe for work image in article)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Navy persecutes Pentecostal pastor for pushing petulant perspectives on penetration
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 514: "Tilt-Shift Faked Miniature Scenes II" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 11, 2015
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In America, you cast a ballot. In Mexico, you cut off the head of the mayoral candidate you dislike the most
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Blind dog-sled dog up for adoption. But, wait There's more. If you adopt now, he comes with his very own seeing eye dog. It's not News, it's Dawwwwwwwwww
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
When a gator this size asks to play through, well, you just let him
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How is it that everyone at the Secret Service hasn't been fired by now?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
A church that was used to host naked paint-parties has lost their tax-exempt status
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Miniature train enthusiasts are snapping up x-rated collectibles - including the Nudist, Prostitute, and Peeping Tom sets. "People make out model railways are boring but they're really not"
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Ashton Kutcher demands more diaper-changing tables in men's restrooms
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Deaf woman says she was mistreated by a post office worker who refused to communicate through written notes. I bet she didn't see that coming
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this twist-a-roo
source: a57.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Michele Bachmann to bootstrap her acting career with a cameo in Sharknado 3
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cheer Up, Emo Caffeinates: Seattle chain remodels "The Most Depressing Starbucks in America"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Leaving out the obvious ones, here are 14 of the most loathsome figures of WWII
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this golden moment
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
11 soldiers missing after their helicopter crashes in a Florida swamp. Wait, wasn't this a '80s movie plot?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Body found in cemetery
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Meet the woman who gives frogs enemas and turtles massages
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
UK gardeners are warned to: Beware..............of .................. the................... slug................. invasion
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If managing your kid's busy after-school schedule is too much of a hassle, letting one of Uber's unvetted drivers ferry your kids around in their private vehicle is a great option- according to the worst. parents. ever
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
50 shades of ugly-assed chameleons hatch at Australia's Taronga Zoo
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Sydney Leathers finds a politician even dumber than Anthony Weiner
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Hello 911, this is dog
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
A man finally got a bike removed from a lamppost after three years of it making him angry. Someone immediately replaced it with a rusty lawnmower, patch of fake grass and daisies
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Investigators say the fatal fire was caused by the home's occupant smoking next to an oxygen tank"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
You see a jacket stuck in a tree. Do you: C) Assume it's Islamic State propaganda and call the cops?
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
If you had "Oklahoma" as the first state that would move to separate marriage from state control, step forward and claim your prize
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Previously denied secret deal made with key witness in Willingham murder trial now fully exposed, leading to prosecutor facing formal misconduct charges. Exoneration highly likely for convicted Texan, if they hadn't already executed him. Awkward
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
This farmer saved a freezing baby cow named Leroy by taking it for a swim in a hot tub. Leroy is "done hot-tubbing" but "sunbathing is definitely in his future out in the grass"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Daesh claims to have killed an "Israeli Arab spy". You could tell he was an "Israeli Arab spy" because he kept fighting with himself while trying to stab himself in the back
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona is home of the Grand Canyon, the Sonoran Desert, and the 2015 World Sign Spinning Champion. "It took plenty of signs to the face, but I've learned to not do that anymore"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian inmates call prison food "disgusting and inadequate" and claim they're malnourished from eating it. Prison spokesman: "Prisons are meant to correct criminal behaviour, not serve as a vacation home"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BT.com)
 
 
 
Britain's worst learner driver has been blackballed by almost every driving school in the country: "Driving doesn't come naturally to me. I've had the same problem for the last 14 years"
source: home.bt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In an alternate universe, the US entered the war in April, 1941. Why? Because the US received one of the priceless original copies of the Magna Carta from a hopeful British government
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
No, you can't deduct all the money you spent on medical marijuana in 2014 from your state taxes. Or your federal taxes. In fact, just be glad we have legal weed and don't try to push the issue
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Utah lawmakers vote to allow execution by firing squad, refuse to provide a final cigarette because those things could kill you
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
In Australia, even your breakfast cereal might try to kill you
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: If advertisers were honest about their product and what it does (LGT suggestion)
source: brandingmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Buy house, get free WiFi. Wait, did I say WiFi? I meant wife
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Golden Retriever born without eyes becomes a service dog, can smell crotches more intensely than other dogs thanks to his other senses compensating for his blindness
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
To all the ladies and gentlemen who are NASCAR enthusiasts, I humbly present to you the CARBuretor Crunch, a deep-friend peanut butter and jelly sandwich topped with bacon crumbles, a caramel drizzle and sliced bananas
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you can't make it to the gym in 26 minutes maybe you should think about buying a chair that converts into a rowing machine or transforming your living room into a climbing gym
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Researchers from the Australian campus of the N.S. Sherlock University find homeopathic treatments to be no more effective than placebos
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
When normal wives get into a tiff with a neighbor there's usually a shouting match and life moves on, but if you're a billionaires wife, you key the neighbor's Bentley
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
There is no such thing as a good Bon Jovi tattoo, but some are worse than others
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Sharing your bed with your cat is not a good idea no matter what your cat says
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Woman explains she accidentally bought a house with $400,000 in debt because she was taking diet pills at the time
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
UPDATE: Despite Twitter's best attempts, Richard Dawkins is not actually dead
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"California nearly guaranteed to get major earthquake in next 30 years." This is not a repeat from 1985... or 1975... or 1965
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you stopped to pick up one of the twenty-one bales of marijuana tossed from a suspect's car during a police chase in Casa Grande, Arizona, the Pinal County Sheriff's Office would like to speak with you
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Subby: "Southern Baptists want to start letting their children get married because 'it is a foundation for adult life.'" ModMin: Subby can't read
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman was too busy texting to realize she was walking directly towards a moving train
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Want to take a walk on the wild side? Of a mountain? The world's scariest walkway has re-opened
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Hunter approached by a half-naked man claiming to be Sasquatch. That's when things take a strange and scary turn
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Seven examples that prove your mother-in-law is right and you know nothing about loading a dishwasher properly
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
...and now Ferguson's city manager has resigned in disgrace
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Mall security apologizes for sending out an 'active shooter' alert to all stores when we really meant to send a 'smash and grab robber' alert instead. We especially apologize to all the parents and children inside Build-A-Bear at the time
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ocala Star-Banner)
 
 
 
Police ask for help finding the driver of a stolen truck full of cheese, since it's something they could never Provolone
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Respect your elders, son. Because they are too old to care about going to jail
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fusion)
 
 
 
How an advertising company put a 'marijuana cookie' on your computer to get weed legalized. I guess you could call it a (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) security tokin'
source: fusion.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
A group of teens in Georgia steal a goat in hopes it would impress a girl enough to go to the prom
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf Live)
 
 
 
Who among us has not ever stripped naked at a Dunkin' Donuts, as part of a dare?
source: blog.gulflive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chinese ALREADY making $38 knockoffs of the Apple watch
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gladstone Observer (Australia))
 
 
 
You just might have anger and drinking problems, when the courts ban you from every pub in Queensland
source: gladstoneobserver.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 10, 2015
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Somehow, those body cameras don't seem to work properly when Denver Police are either beating the crap out of someone or tasing them. Whoda thunk?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
County to launch "no refusal" DUI checkpoints. Constitution? What's that?
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Man scrawls 'my wife is a cheater' on house. Oh burn
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Cyclist fined for speeding after passing cars at twice the speed limit. He'll be bragging about THAT ticket the rest of his life
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Morning News)
 
 
 
Apparently, working for a dental practice on an ad hoc basis does not cover treating patients at McDonald's
source: westernmorningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: design the new $20.00 bill, replacing Andrew Jackson with a woman
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the note that Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wrote in pencil inside the boat he was eventually captured in. It reads exactly like you guessed it would
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Tortoise beats rat
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Worker at sewage plant discovers that cutting into a methane pipe is a bit like lighting a fart, only more impressive
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Former SAE House Mom yesterday : "I am shocked. I have never heard such racism from them before." Former SAE House Mom today: "Now there is a very good explanation for that video of me saying the N-word repeatedly"
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Need to break into a car and don't have a slim jim? There's an app for that
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Journal)
 
 
 
Wikipedia just sued the NSA, commencing major nerd war
source: nationaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The danger of keeping photos of a naked woman on your cell phone that isn't your wife is that when said wife scrolls through your phone and sees those pics, she'll stab you in the neck
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Bank error in your favor. Collect ten years probation
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Mahalo)
 
 
 
"Blizzard conditions have shut down the road to the summit of the mountain, poor weather is forecast for the next several days, and webcams have been blinded by the snow. This has been your weather for Hawaii, stay tuned for sports"
source: bigislandvideonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
What every U.S. state is best at. Come for Montana, stay for North Dakota
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man kicks a dog who was laying in his parking spot so the dog goes and gets his buddies to help him teach the pri*k some manners
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bit9)
 
 
 
A handful of lifeguards facing a tidal wave of threats (Sponsored link)
source: blog.bit9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Ireland just accidentally all the drugs
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these crowned freaks
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Person found dead in Crystal Lake identified as missing teenager. Police are investigating the crime, but so far no one has been brought up on CH CH CH AH AH AHrges
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
MI "Open carry activist" decides to go for walk near a local high school carrying a pistol and a rifle; is incensed that local cops have the temerity to approach and question him after they receive about a zillion panicked 911 call about his stroll
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Ever wonder how many years you have to be dead before it's okay to dig you up again?
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(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Three things that you should never put in your safe-deposit box. Conspicuously absent from list: The key to your safe-deposit box
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hillary brings own microphone and reporters to live press conference about state department emails. Link goes to live feed
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(NY1)
 
 
 
Despite growing trends to legalize it, as seen in Washington and Colorado, NYC Board of Health vows not give in to hippie demands, and continue its ongoing war on... ferrets
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(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
The cartoonist has no idea how fair use works
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(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Good news - Apple's plan to brainwash us all might not be working as well as they'd hoped
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(WTAE)
 
 
 
Teacher of the year caught sayof, walking on sunshine
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Well, that's ONE way to get out of paying a toll
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(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Scary: Pit bull attacks man. Awesome: Who was beating his girlfriend
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(National Journal)
 
 
 
The CIA has been trying to hack your iPhone for the past decade
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man stopped at JFK with $770K in cash from cigarette bootlegging says the money's for a building project in Yemen
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(TMZ)
 
 
 
Suge Knight's murder trial now includes drive-thru video (warning: graphic video)
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(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Giant chunks of global warming are washing up on Cape Cod
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TASS News Russia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sip'n'grip
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(WTVR)
 
 
 
Entire town learns sign language to surprise deaf man. Deaf man angry he can no longer call everyone assholes without them knowing
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(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you really want to show everyone how caring you are you'll download a free app that allows charities to display ads on your smart phone screen instead of letting it go dark
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(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Want to own a Maine country inn? You're just a 200-word essay away
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(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Most ER visits don't start with a male nurse helping you take off your bra and end with him giving you a relaxing shoulder massage
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You can take a dog camping, skateboarding, hunting, jogging, and bicycling with you, but only a shelter cat will go rock climbing with you
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(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man goes prospecting, finds massive gold nugget, doesn't know what to assay
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingsport Times News)
 
 
 
Protip: No matter how crowded KMart is, someone will probably notice if you try to wheel an entire jewelry case out the door
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(Fox Connecticut)
 
 
 
And the "most trusted news network" in America is... well, it's not CNN, that's for sure
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(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Wait, but why doesn't somebody try long-form journalism instead of plagiarizing listicles of six weird tricks to get those cat .GIFs to go viral?
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(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Decriminalizing marijuana in Colorado causes different kind of high for Denver Police: "Marijuana seizures increase 1000% since 2011" (autoplay video)
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's always a little embarrassing to be caught with your pants down looking into a tanning salon with your face pressed up against the window and you're panting
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Do you praise your children? Yes? Well, congratulations for making them narcissists
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(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Despite what your friends tell you, sucking on a copper penny won't affect the outcome of a breathalyzer test
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Turns out the "poison" that a Connecticut teen once refused to treat her cancer may actually be useful for, you know, treating cancer
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Four police officers insist a mysterious female voice called "Help" and led them to 18-month-baby. BUT THE MOTHER WAS DEAD
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Gun sales are increasing, but individual ownership is decreasing, which means only one thing: Your unhinged, paranoid, 24x7 camo-clad uncle is hoarding them, along with plywood, MREs, generators, and satin panties. Don't ask about the last one, tho
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
If you see someone drowning, don't jump in and save them. If you see someone choking, don't give them the Heimlich. If you see someone bleeding from the head on the sidewalk, let them bleed from the head on the sidewalk
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Israel tramples on the sovereignty of a small middle eastern country
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(WXII Winston-Salem)
 
 
 
Suspects threaten victim with hypodermic needle during robbery, no shots reported
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(WTOP)
 
 
 
Beware the pollen vortex. You can sneeze but you can't hide
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Nine of the 13 best beers in the U.S. are brewed in Vermont and Maine
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Besides getting aliens from planet to planet, streetlights can get really smart by saving electricity and a lot more
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
You know those people who refuse to walk over those big metal plates and grates in sidewalks? This has the potential to set their therapy back years. "Depths of Hellevator. Going... down?"
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
♫Oh, yes, they called him the Streak (Look at that, look at that) / He liked to show off his physique (Look at that, look at that) / But, the cops just shot him dead / Put a bullet in both his heads/ Invitin' public critique♫
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 09, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How does a male teenager try to see if he has testicular cancer? By taking a pregnancy test of course
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston 2024 Olympic group releases staff salaries. Among them is former Gov. Deval Patrick, who is making $7500/day as "global ambassador"
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
A Malaysia Airlines moistened towelette is being examined to determine if it has any connection to CNN
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(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Tired of just fighting with each other, Chuck E Cheese customers decide to attack employees instead
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(The New Orleans Advocate)
 
 
 
Send Ancestry.com a DNA sample to learn your family history and potentially make your descendants murder suspects
source: theneworleansadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
When leaving a job, Gallant thanks his employer for the opportunity. Goofus steals letters from Michelangelo and ransoms them for €100,000
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(Gannett)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ball handler
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(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The more things change, the more they stay the same
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(CBS Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diplomatic dialogue
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"One of the things we understand now is that the initial ship that came over from England to Massachusetts Bay actually carried more beer than water," says Bruce Bustard
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(Medpage Today)
 
 
 
Good news: Your autistic child's asthma is not due your use of SSRI antidepressants during pregnancy
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(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Woman to spend time in the pokey for illegal butt injections
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Texans want to leave the union they never joined because they love America
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(Newser)
 
 
 
Apparently those initials carved into the side of the Roman Colosseum date back to AD, uh, Saturday
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
US places sanctions on 7 Venezuelan officials, thus officially opening the spring 2015 change-of-regime season
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Clairvoyant, anime aficionado, zombie expert dismissed from theater shooting jury
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trustworthy driver
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(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Los Angeles held an election to decide what to do about low voter turn-out...but nobody showed up for it
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(Short List)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Japan
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(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just a couple of DOT workers gluing pieces of the bridge back together. Enjoy your commute
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(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why your deli sandwich always comes with a pickle? Here comes the science
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(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Fire damages luxury RVs. Investigation pointing towards Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny since they don't exist either
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sigma Alpha Epsilon closes chapter at U. of Oklahoma after discovering that there are racists in Oklahoma and they tend to join frats
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Islamic State of Iraq and Syria overheard bickering amongst themselves, denouncing "farking splitters" joining the Iraqi-Syrian Islamic State
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Will Tony and Cherie Blair get divorced? The Daily Mail is just asking questions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mysterious stone figures discovered in Central Florida and thought to be priceless Asian artifacts turn out to be "the Indonesian equivalent of lawn gnomes"
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(CNN)
 
 
 
"Are you ignorant about the world?" Well, you're reading this on CNN, so
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Really slow tourist killed by glacier, Methodists reach new high under Obama, and Virgin Mobile becomes Technical Virgin Mobile: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/1 - 3/7
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(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Prize winning Irish biatch dies from poisoning and two others sickened after Crufts dog show. And here you thought that the competition on Toddlers and Tiaras was ruthless
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy gnome
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(ABC News)
 
 
 
According to this recycled article that ABC News didn't bother to update a single bit, only 18 states allow same-sex marriage and those couples can now file joint tax returns
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you knew the real truth about the legal battle over the sweet vidalia onion it would make you cry
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Red Bull launches new flavored energy drinks with zero calories. Customers can choose from Jittery Jasmine, Shaky Strawberry, Nervous Nectarine
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(Gamespot)
 
 
 
Grand Theft Auto VII: City of Brotherly Love. MISSION FAILED
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Congratulations on getting a flu shot last fall. Here's your "I Survived Flu Season 2015" t-shirt