Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.

These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun February 08, 2015
(National Post)
 
 
 
Well, sir... The good news is that you don't have bladder cancer. The bad news is that you need a hysterectomy
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Trying to be a hero and stop an armed robbery? That's a felony offense
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Look, who hasn't forgotten that they had a copy of the Magna Carta in their basement?
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this proper young woman on her newfangled mechanical contraption
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Adnan Syed wins motion to appeal conviction. Looks like someone wants a 'Serial' follow-up
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
"How real is middle child syndrome?" Sigh. It doesn't matter. People only care about the youngest. Anyway, this would only get greenlit if the eldest submitted it
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Air Force launches "big change" to basic training by replacing graduation ceremony, parade with "character development" training to prepare trainees for military career, life, which seems more practical than old-fashioned cluster fark marching
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If the DoHS budget doesn't pass, only about a quarter of their employees will have to find real work
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diver
source: imgick.pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jordan applies afterburners to ISIS with 56 air strikes in 3 days
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
San Jose offers free dinner, movie in exchange for ideas on resident's favorite places. Which in San Jose is either a Star Wars memorabilia show or a Star Trek convention
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Spider-Man off the hook for allegedly punching cop. Apparently, officials believed the "he was really an evil symbiote" story
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Science denialism is only a tiny symptom of a larger phenomenon: civilization-wide loss of AUTHORITAH
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
You can finally consume delicious, sweet sriracha bacon jerky...but you have to brave the hipster- and foodie-clogged aisles of Trader Joe's
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
The ebb and flow of baby names. Clearly, people are influenced by pop culture nonsense, which is why there have been so many Edwards and Isabellas thanks to that Twilight nonsense
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Second-alarm fire burns down video store. This is not a repeat from 1987
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
"My night of cuddling wasn't worth the $325 I spent on it"
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"I'd be more worried about the chemicals in cupcakes than those in Newcastle Brown Ale." YOU CAN PRY MY DING DONGS FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Round fire burns eleven square miles. Solve for the circumference
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Didn't win that $360 million Powerball last night? Don't feel too bad, nobody else did either. Tuesday's drawing now at $450 million, which would get your spring off to a nice start
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
New England braces itself for SNOWMAGEDDON III: PAYBACK as more than a foot of snow is forecasted for the area, and when that's done, the bigger cold sets in. Brace yourselves; winter is coming. Again
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Skinny jeans, high heels, nylon underwear and other fashion mistakes that are harmful to your health
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheddar Valley Gazette)
 
 
 
Student put in isolation over charity head shave released after four days - and £18,000 richer for charity. Thanks to all Farkers who donated
source: cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Target employee teaches teenager how to tie a necktie after he asks for a clip-on, also suggests pork pie hat, sunglasses, and half pack of smokes to complete the look
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"So did you do anything interesting today as a firefighter?" "I had to save a horse from a bathtub"
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The thing that makes cockroaches so adorable is that they each have their own distinct unique personality
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this eye for fashion
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: The Beer Run
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ground breaking... um... linguistic... uh..... study finally...uh.. explains....um .... something or other. Uh?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Stolen 3-month-old kitten returned with apology note, pieces of thief's jugular in claws
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 3 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
You can add tree trimming to jobs you shouldn't attempt while on ecstasy and meth, even if you're a trained professional
source: mynews3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Leonardo da Vinci's resume makes yours pale in comparison
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up live at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of eclectic music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to shoot another teenager to death, don't take a selfie with the body and send it to a friend
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 07, 2015
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
No espresso for you, sir, as it looks like you've already had too many shots
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bad: Water floods city. Worse: Boiling water floods city
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The good people of Alabama want judges to only recognize the Biblical definition of marriage, which technically means if a man is at war and catches a woman he is allowed to marry her as long as her head is shaved
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass Orangutan baby born in Berlin zoo. With ugly-ass pictures
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this return to the mother of his land
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Colombia's FARC request Miss Universe to attend peace talks. Keg of Heineken presumably next on the demands list
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man charged for a 1987 murder in August of 2014 and then released gets arrested again after police change their minds
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Oklahoma joins Nebraska in their border war against Colorado in a brave attempt to keep narcotics from entering their states
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Black bear spotted visiting elementary school three times in one week. Apparently, common core isn't working in nature either
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bruce Jenner in a Karkrashian
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Brian Williams is taking a hiatus from NBC Nightly News to spend some time with Manti Te'o's girlfriend
source: press.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Best Korea tests an ocean-to-ocean missile
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ukraine's currency has lost half its value in 48 hours, it has almost no reserves, and it is fighting its biggest trading partner. It may just have to go live in its parents' basement
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dramatic weather rescue
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
A super-destructive chaotic storm is brewing deep within Uranus
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Men's Journal)
 
 
 
Another article listing the 100 best beers of the world. But this time subby really can't find a problem with it
source: mensjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Atlanta Farkers, you can rest easy now. Charges have been dropped against man cited for eating while driving
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Somerset Gazette)
 
 
 
Police asked how many werewolves, witches, ghosts, UFOs, aliens and zombies have been reported. Answer: 295
source: centralsomersetgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
The cutest picture of a firefighter rescuing a puppy you'll see all day
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
What's in the measles vaccine anyway? Well, other than autism and microscopic mind-control and tracking devices put in there by the government, of course
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Not News: California man claims he's being followed by "robot creatures" in the area of the San Jacinto Valley. FARK: He has the footage to prove it
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You know who ELSE is battling a measles outbreak?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Domo arigato mister fox
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the right side of the aircraft you'll see the lovely Bogota city lights serving as a backdrop for the flames shooting out of our number two engine. Sit back and enjoy the flight"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Doesn't every Farker?
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Good news, 40-somethings. Your marriage to that 23-year-old will be better if you move in together first
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
$300 million for a painting is Gauguintuan
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Design a new American quarter (LGT current examples)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Care2)
 
 
 
Most shelter cats wait patiently, hoping to find a home. Then there is Fancy - who escaped from a shelter and traveled for over a month searching for the only person he wanted to be with, just in time for Caturday
source: care2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you only see one adult baby fetish nursery today, let this be the one
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
What's the most desirable thing to steal from a big box store? In Tennessee, it's cheese. Lots of it
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twenty eight inmates escaped a Brazilian prison after three women in sexy police costumes seduced and drugged the guards
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
New scientific breakthrough to finally ending the common cold is nothing to sneeze at
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Do you want to bid on Saddam Hussein's hanging noose? No? Why knot?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Former janitor and gas station attendant was a secret stock market multi-millionaire, leaves $8 million to local library, hospital
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
College student plans to spend 30 days eating cockroaches, worms, crickets and tarantulas to raise popularity of sustainable proteins, diminish his chances of ever getting laid again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Chocolate rain is falling from the sky in Walla Walla, Washington
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Anthem cyberattack may have been done by China, presumably so they know how best to screw over their citizens with health insurance
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 06, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, hotshot.... No, seriously. It's a pop quiz. And I don't want to alarm you, but the results of the Fark Quiz will be reflected in your final grade this semester
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Snake gets further with Jennifer Lawrence than any of you simians ever will (possibly not safe for work)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pulse (Nigeria))
 
 
 
"They turned me into a neut" (PNSWF)
source: pulse.ng   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Apparently there were vampires at the Battle of Gettysburg
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flock of colorful pigeons
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In unison, nearly every major religious leader in the Muslim world issues a statement condemning ISIS' recent acts. Even the guy who is considered "the spiritual mentor" of the founders of Al-Qaeda think these guys have "gone too far"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Missing art is always in the last place you look. Like in a condemned meth lab
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
After whistleblowers expose stunning instances of prison abuse, Florida officials finally crack down . . . on whistleblowers
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
At least it isn't the entire State of Florida that's poisoning bald eagles. This can be traced to one specific county's animal shelter
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
That Charming young Italian cop who so graciously offered to let young female travelers crash at his place on Couschsurfing.com ? Yeah you'll be shocked, SHOCKED to find out he may have drugged and raped "hundreds" of them
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Awright, we tased the ATM service guy and stole his car full of cash. Now we just gotta dump the car and make a clean get away. Wait, what's that thing on the dashboard? Ah, probly nothin'
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
Small government champions celebrate as the war in Afghanistan has now been completely turned over to private contractors
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Looks like that big fat rodent was right
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Good: Your state tax returns have already been filed. WTF: You haven't actually started on them yet
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently Brian William's helicopter in Iraq wasn't hit by an RPG but some sort of powerful hallucinogenic weapon as the chopper's pilot who backed some parts of Williams story and debunked others is "questioning my memories"
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you rob a guy, leave your bus pass in your abandoned getaway car and then take lots of pictures of your stolen money with your phone at your house, you probably DO deserve the title "Britain's Dumbest Criminal" (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Florida Swamp Ape caught on video. With actual video of what may be a Florida Swamp Ape
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Lawyer jailed after calling in threat that Nazi spies were planning to attack the London Olympic opening ceremony with a stolen Russian nuclear bomb. Nazis? Dude, too soon
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these old school hipsters
source: slon.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
As you read this article Yakety Sax will begin playing in your head
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Broward/Palm Beach New Times)
 
 
 
A naked Bill Cosby statue (with a tiny Fat Albert covering his genitals) sculpted by a high school freshman will be unveiled in Florida this month
source: blogs.browardpalmbeach.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crawley News)
 
 
 
Today's criminal mastermind is this halfwit who stole a shower from a house under construction, then tried to sell it back to the crew building the place
source: crawleynews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The guy who edited Wikipedia 47,000 times to correct the same mistake is actually wrong. PEDANT FIGHT
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Before donating books to Goodwill, always shake them first to check for old mail, discarded phone numbers, hidden guns
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Large-breasted cam girl who stripped in library gives first interview, presumably for 20 tokens per minute
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Senior vice president of Georgia Aquarium seen on video kicking dolphins. Enjoy the fish, you little ingrates
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Zombie foreclosures create problems for sellers, Rick Grimes
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MotorTorque)
 
 
 
Suddenly, nobody cares that Uber are litigious A-holes, BECAUSE KITTEN DELIVERY SERVICE
source: motortorque.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
For one year, a college professor has been living inside a 33-square-foot dumpster--which is still bigger than the average dorm room
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston mayor predicts 8 to 15 inches of snow by Tuesday. Also, the National Weather Service says the Bruins will bring home the Stanley Cup
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Tom Brokaw thinks NBC should fire the hotshot who stole his job
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Old & busted: Employee of the year bonus. New hotness: Employee of the year boner
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Will Ferrell is dominating Boston's Tinder scene
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Butler did it, in the endzone, with the pick
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Beer Pong rapist convicted of bouncing his balls into four young men
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Armed robber hides stolen money in his butt. Evidence presented to police after intensive money laundering
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Hot mugshot guy now starring in sexy men in prison production
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Get stood up on a date and don't know what to do? Date yourself
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New Zealand city erects pricey new sculpture while taxpayers complain they've been given the shaft
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
No need to run for your lives. WE'RE DOOMED
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cortez Journal)
 
 
 
Many Japanese see their two countrymen who were slain by ISIS as troublemakers. "In the old days, their parents would have had to commit hara-kiri to apologize"
source: cortezjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Just chute me now
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
And for the record, pigeons are not rat with wings. "Racing pigeons are the Ben Johnsons of the world and fancy pigeons are the Naomi Campbells of the world"
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not content with burning pilots and crucifying children, ISIS decides to do an outreach program to Christians and share some Exodus 21:7 with them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Regina Leader-Post)
 
 
 
Saskatchewan's photo radar system has a computer plus three levels of human review, none of which can tell the difference between a car going 23 km/h and a car going 106 km/h
source: leaderpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cairns Post)
 
 
 
Amateur fisherman catches ultra-rare green sawfish. "When I finally reeled it in, I was like 'what the f**k is that?"
source: cairnspost.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Big Loo
source: vintagespacetoys.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The first Norse temple in northern Europe in a thousand years is currently under construction in Iceland. Hammer of the gods
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teacher of the year sleeps with 14 year old student, at least until he turns 19 and moves out of her house. Fark: actually named regional teacher of the year, 2012
source: breakingnewsusa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"If you dress like a lady you will be treated like a lady." Controversial Miss Vintage UK claims women should dress in 1950's attire if they want real respect from men (w/pics of how a lady should dress)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
WLA/Santa Monica Farker Meet Up, 2/6, 7:00 PM, TRiP on Lincoln
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flathead Beacon)
 
 
 
What do you do as winter caretaker of Glacier Park's great iconic lodge? Keep bighorn rams from butting through the windows, shovel snow out of the lobby all day, work on your novel, groom the hedge maze
source: flatheadbeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
← This says Amazon. You will wish it said The Onion
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Woman blames obesity on fecal transplant, doctors suspect she's full of shiat
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The most common job in every state. There sure are a lot of truck drivers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Half the DNA on the New York Subway matches no known organism. Enjoy your evening commute
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Dressing like Hitler and posting a photo where Jewish people gather as a "great bombing time" on Facebook, is not a hate crime, as long as your father is a state trooper sergeant
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
"Possessed" man steals police car and taunts officers over radio while driving around city. Sergeant says "it has happened before"
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Clearly unaware of how the internet works, Coca Cola set up a Twitter bot that took "negative tweets" and converted them into "happy tweets" as part of its Super Bowl marketing. It ended up causing quite a fuhrer
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turns out your Mom was right, inhaling helium to make your voice sound funny can leave you in a coma
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Derailment spills ethanol into already-polluted Iowa river. Locals say it goes down smoother than Jack Daniels and hurts less coming up
source: trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Harvard officially bans professor student relationships, bursar's office still able to screw everything that moves
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 05, 2015
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Husband who pretended he was putting up a shed builds a brick cathedral as a present for his wife. Who didn't notice this goddamn cathedral, with a steeple, buttresses and seating for 12 going up in the back yard for three years (pics)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Detroit woman charged with murder after beating friend to death with crockpot. Police say the two were arguing politics when it uncovered a long-simmering beef
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Robert Mugabe orders the Internet to delete images of him falling over at event and the Internet responds as only the Internet can....with these hilarious memes (some not safe for work images)
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It was just a matter of time before the anti-vaccination movement went to the dogs
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
This 6-year-old is "too nice" to people, so his mom and grandma arrange for a fake kidnapping to scare the crap out of him
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Denver set to open new drive-in theater whose screen will be visible from orbit. Astronauts order a Soyuz full of popcorn
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Police search river after human limbs are seen floating by. Authorities do not know at this point whether they came from a male or female, but are confident the victim is unarmed
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
"Dr. 90210" claims he can now enlarge breasts without implants using stem cells. Still no cure for cancer (not safe for work pic)
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bad day
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Stray pygmy goat gets wrangled by two New Jersey police officers. "He's out back in our livestock pen and he's actually hanging out with five new chicken friends"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bird Watcher)
 
 
 
Caption these cartoon birds
source: trustedmortgagebroker.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heathline)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: We like to cook, we like to eat, but no one likes getting sick from it. Let's cover important aspects: cleanliness and preparation. Help Farkers properly clean/prepare to make sure the memory of the meal is a fond one
source: healthline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As part of its impressively effective effort to piss off the ENTIRE world, ISIS publicly executes three Chinese muslim militants fighting for the group after labeling them deserters (autoplay video)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maine News)
 
 
 
News Story or Porn Title: Brazilian Scientist vs The Golden Mussel
source: newsmaine.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
While Millie is not a pot-bellied pig, she does have pot in her belly
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
America's bridges are collectively in pretty bad shape, but they used to be worse. BEFORE SOME FELL DOWN
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Brian Williams's apology is apparently about as factual as his original story
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry whatever
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Journal)
 
 
 
Germany and Russia admire Edward Snowden more than Barack Obama but Jackie Chan is really popular just about everywhere
source: nationaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
40,000 pounds of salsa spill on I-10 near Cabazon, CA. CHiPs respond
source: desertsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When it comes to interior design, 'the goat is relatively easy to work with as it projects a versatile, non-offensive hipster agrarian aesthetic that works in most any room of the house.'
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Slipping a sex toy into your buddy's luggage at the airport then filming the screener pulling it out while you all laugh is still a great practical joke in eastern Europe rather than grounds for a 20-year prison term like in the U.S
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Georgia barber shop offers "old man haircut" special for kids who, if they won't get off your lawn, will now at least look like they were supposed to be there
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Catholics using technology to touch kids where they live
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBD Lubbock)
 
 
 
KCBD Lubbock -- Where disco lives forever
source: kcbd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Woman can't get 24-hour care for her violent, mentally ill 12 year old unless she gets arrested for refusing to pick him up from a temporary care facility
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Hey fella, part of being a William Wallace lookalike is having female tourists check your dangly bits to see if you're a 'real Scotsman.' It's part of the job, make sure you're up to it
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Customer displeasure swells over phallic-shaped bus station map. Company finally softens its hardened stance against removal
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
In case you missed it, the King of Jordan quoted Clint Eastwood last night as he was explaining how ISIS is about to have their balls mailed back to them in a Pringles tube
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
ISIS beheads four Syrians who criticized them on Facebook for burning Jordanian pilot to death, and kills a couple of Muslim clerics because they were in the neighborhood anyway
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
That traffic jam you're stuck is going to be much worse in 30 years. Hope you get home by then
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Air Chief Marshal Foo Foo, the pet poodle of Thailand's crown prince, has been cremated after four days of Buddhist funeral rites. And then the story gets really weird
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
The race to replace the Dunning-Krugerand is on
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves... Dinner is coming
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Pickup truck driver speeds onto car carrier while on busy interstate. Discovers stupidest way to save fuel costs
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It used to be that if you worked, you got paid. Now, more and more college students are paying money to be able to work abroad
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Taking two shots during a basketball game is not newsworthy, unless they happen to be bullets
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British court orders surgical sterilization of mother with low IQ. Dr Mengele of the British Board of Eugenics unavailable for comment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Health insurance company admits that personal information of millions of its customers was violated. And some hackers breached its security too
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Remember how after the 2010 BP oil spill 10 million gallons of crude oil in the Gulf couldn't be located? Mystery solved
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is EXACTLY why you should always choose Winston-McCauley Funeral Home
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you feel guilty about dumping your elderly mother off in a nursing home you'll feel much better if you give her a live chicken
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Attention Japanese women: if you participated in a sleep study, and woke up feeling all rapey and porney, the authorities would like a word with you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sure, sure everyone knows about the Girl Scout mafia, it's a tight society that usually keeps to themselves. But things are getting personal when you see contracts being taken out when they're just trying to sell their product
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Pentagon study claims Vladimir Putin has Aspergers. That explains why you always see him with ponies
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're visiting China for trade talks, mocking the entire population on social media might not be the best tactic
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lunching lemurs
source: i.guim.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Inside the room police found a life-like baby doll, car seat, diapers and other child care paraphernalia. When asked about the items, Allen told police they were seeing what it was like to have a baby
source: delaware1059.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Don't ever invite an undercover FBI agent into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
U.S. super rich find a new place to store their extra cash ... in homes priced over $50 million
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Marijuana reduces stress. And the world is round. And pigs can't fly. Science
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Who's ready for S'Mores Oreos? And why wouldn't they be called S'moreos?
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Turns out burning people alive tends to make your supporters not like you anymore
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The Quinny Longboarder is a stroller mounted on a skateboard so dads can get their skating fix in while taking their children out on walks. Or you could just grow up and push a regular stroller like most other men your age
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
London double-decker bus company unveils its new open air roof model
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The bad news is your grandmother is slipping into dementia. The good news is she's now a wicked saxophonist
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
NASA updates Pluto's tagline from "speck of light" to "white smudge"
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
One in a million doc, one in a million
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitchy)
 
 
 
How pissed off are the Jordanians? King Abdullah is going to personally fly combat sorties against ISIS
source: twitchy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Bigfoot has been spotted in Yellowstone Park. This time for real. Honest
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
OPEC to world: About that cheap gas you've been enjoying
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 509: "Reflections II" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 04, 2015
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If you're a narcotics prosecutor, it's probably not a good idea to be so high on illegal drugs that you can't stand on your own. Especially in court during a trial
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
:-O{8-{==8
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
NBC anchor Brian Williams admits to lying about being shot down over Iraq, was actually ducking sniper fire with Hillary Clinton in Bosnia
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Never forget to pay the pizza man for the pie, even if you were desperate and stole one 13 years ago to feed your kids
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man has "Clockwork Orange" tattoo on his forehead. Was probably on droogs when he was inked
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Miami flyers
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You might be mad at your neighbor, but are you spraying liquid manure through his letter slot mad?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas Observer)
 
 
 
A Dallas ISD employee admits using "A..." word for buttocks, and the entire city faints
source: blogs.dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Hipsters up in arms that Portland airport is trying to do something about its dirty, smelly carpet that no one's paid much attention to since the '90s
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Drunk, high, violently ill, unvaccinated and pulling your hair out is no way to show up for the trial of a mass murderer, son
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Boat crasher "...consumed 3 ounces of 80-proof vodka, 4 ounces of 80-proof rum, an unknown quantity of beer, 0.4 ounces of 60-proof Curacao liqueur and 0.4 ounces of 40-proof Amaretto liqueur from about 6 p.m. Aug. 19 until the time of the accident"
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I must be part of the Atlanta bomb squad
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ferguson police getting handgun attachment that gives them a mulligan on the first shot
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No, you can't pay off your spa debt with a six-year-old girl
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The earthquake situation in Oklahoma is getting worse, or better, if you're a Nebraska fan
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Woman, 37, asked for proof of age when buying melon in case it had fermented into alcohol
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
You can go ahead and add "creationists" to the list of people offended by the Super Bowl ads
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists finally tackle one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Why DO cats love boxes so much?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Student with ketchup phobia gags whenever she sees it - which in a perfect world would be considered a normal reaction
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book Resources)
 
 
 
Man tattoos face and cuts off nose, so that he can look like the comic villain the Red Skull. Doom scowls upon his shenanigans
source: robot6.comicbookresources.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
911 operator tells victim of a hit and run to stop whining. Supervisors tell operator to stop working
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Buying a Pack of Condoms in Venezuela Now Costs $755
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
U.S. to begin destroying its stockpile of mustard gas. Refusing to budge on its supply of ketchup and mayonnaise gas
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The Power Team sold out arenas in the 80s by tearing phone books in half, running through walls of ice, and breaking concrete blocks with their heads. All for Christ
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Teen "cures" his internet addiction by cutting his hand off, is thankful he didn't have a pornography addiction instead
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this face
source: clponline.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Air passengers shocked after seeing a "snow penis" the ground crew drew on the tarmac. Ryanair's WINNING comment: "Our ground crew excel at 25-minute turnarounds, art isn't their forte. They've clearly forgotten to draw wings on their snow airplane"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Pretty sure there is a joke in here about mass-market American beer
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HC Community Journal)
 
 
 
Fire stands its ground against firefighters, fights water with bullets. Texas tag needed
source: hccommunityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Cactus Whisperer. "They all have personalities," said Mr. Leblanc "They all have separate problems. You can't lump them all together"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Only 19?
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
So apparently, Paris Hilton is the down-to-earth one
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
It took the German Supreme Court to decide you need money to pay rent
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rehab centers see a rise in enrollment after the Super Bowl. Mostly from people who bet on Seattle
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Waiter I'd like the Botticelli please and a bottle of your finest Picasso
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
TSA in Philadelphia will allow you to file a complaint, but only from jail
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
A woman called police saying a toilet had mysteriously appeared on her front lawn. The property owner requested fingerprints be taken at the scene, but police declined
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Virginia Association of Realtors warns agents of creepy dude who's been calling female agents demanding they show him remote properties, only at night in remote areas. Dude, this isn't Craigslist
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you're a daycare worker don't let anyone see you playing 'Kick the Baby'
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you're thinking, "Dammit, I could use a snow bike right now," you are not alone
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Nothing puts asses in the pews quite like having a pastor who puts a large bed next to the altar and launches a six-part sermon about sex
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Parents angry after cub scouts earn their boobie watching badge
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Never drive your Jeep into Valhalla. Odin is not amused
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gay Star News)
 
 
 
More than 80 per cent of calls to India's first lesbian helpline are from men, and most of them are calling to get contact numbers for lesbians
source: gaystarnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Toronto's transit system is like a giant penis
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
New York City doctor offers "Instabreasts" for women who want to try-them-before-you-buy-them program
source: 7online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
When surveyed on most unattractive trait of Japanese women, 64 percent of foreign men cite their pigeon-toed gait. "Supposedly the main reason why a large number of women walk this way is simply because they think it looks cute"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The two office workers that had sex after hours and were viewed by everyone in the pub across the street? It turns out he's already married, and she's engaged. Presumably not much longer
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hey all you D.C. Farkers, be sure to give a hearty Washington welcome to your very own case of measles. GO REDSKIN
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Remembering Frisco's Hippo Cafe, where the gourmet burger was born: "Bourbon Burger was good, until the cook started to drink all the bourbon"
source: sf.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Who needs a baby sitter for your two infants while you attend a winter wine tasting, when your car will do the job just fine?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Fake "femmes fatales" aid hack of Syrian opposition's battle plans, give new meaning to booby-trapped images
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
"I never intended to kill his penis"
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man with his pinatas
source: img.s-msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona's Attorney General to a teacher who was raped after being left in an unguarded prison classroom with a convicted sex offender: "You should have known better"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"What happens if I walk down the street and walk through someone's (marijuana) smoke, and then I have a reaction and heaven forbid hurt someone? Who is responsible?"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Dashboard cam catches incredible video of Taiwan plane crashing into river
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Disabled ex-CHP officer finds professional courtesy goes out the window when you open fire on a sheriff's helicopter
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
83-year-old woman who loved pranks makes one final joke ... from beyond the grave. And it came off perfectly
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Impromptu Sacramento Fark party 2/4
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Here's the physics behind an ingrown toenail, and why it's always the big toe
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Medical pot vending machine debuts in Seattle: "It's a way to take something that has proven itself as a viable business model throughout the last century, and bring it into the 21st century"
source: trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Atheist parents who raise atheist kids do a better job at it, and produce happier, more well-socialized children, according to article which I predict will result in a calm, thoughtful dialogue (dons flak jacket, fireproof suit)
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mummified 200-year-old monk said not to be dead but in a very deep meditation, pining for the fjords
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
An expensive placebo is obviously more effective than a cheap placebo, because it costs more. DUH
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
New study proves that after the age of 50, you're just waiting around to see what kind of cancer you get, and your odds just went up to 50/50
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There are only two things a married person needs to ask their partner to find out if they're really in love
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 03, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Well son, babies happen when a Daddy and a Mommy and another Mommy and some scientists get parlimentary approval to love each other very much
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Your hot sauce preferences predict your personality. Also, your tendency to attention whore
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Q: If you're already serving 20 years in prison for laundering drug money, what do you have to lose by trying to bribe a judge? A: 5 years
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man builds shooting range in front yard. Who could possibly have an issue with that?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Woman with kangaroo service animal asked to leave McDonald's. She'd probably have better luck at IHOP
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Remember the Detroit man who walked 21 miles to work every day? Well, donations have flooded in and he can now buy a car. A very, very, nice car
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
Homeowner with backyard 'filled with dog feces' warned to tread lightly
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
ISIS has pissed off Jordan. And you never want to do that - especially during the playoffs
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fly guy rockin' the mic
source: sputniknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There was an arrest warrant for the president of Argentina in the apartment of the prosecutor found mysteriously dead two weeks ago. Did it just get Chile in here?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Supreme Court lets stand ruling that firing woman for breastfeeding not sexist since men can lactate. SOMEBODY HATES THESE CANS
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense One)
 
 
 
The President is asking for funds to develop space-baced defense program. This is not a repeat
source: cdn.defenseone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Don't bother checking; your Android phone probably has malware on it
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Homemade valentine ideas for you lazy, undatable Farkers out there. Because why invest in a lost cause, anyway?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Broward/Palm Beach New Times)
 
 
 
Florida man says a synthetic form of marijuana called flakka caused him to roll around naked on the roof with a gun
source: blogs.browardpalmbeach.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Feeling stressed out and need a service animal? Mcdonald's doesn't care, take your baby kangaroo outside
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
U.S. park workers in Wisconsin shovel snow all winter so bereaved elderly man can get to bench dedicated to his late wife every day: "We said, ''We've got to make sure he can get to his bench and talk to his wife. He truly misses her"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ken Ham sues the state of Kentucky because they realized that giving $18 million in tax refunds for a religious theme park just might be unconstitutional
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Trial date set for Widnes man charged for attempted murder." Prosecutors ask, "Can I get a Widnes?"
source: runcornandwidnesworld.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this showoff
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
North Korea and the US have been in secret discussions about possibly having "talks about talks" regarding denuclearization. No dates will be set yet until they meet to discuss a possible meeting
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Three French soldiers injured in Nice knife attack. Witnesses contend the attack was not nice at all
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"A fatal Denver plane crash was likely caused by the pilot taking selfies, say investigators"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Security threat of the week: Missoula MT police seek DHS grant, cite Rainbow Family as the threat. The picture of a Rainbow Family gathering must be seen
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Residents donate $5K to animal control for net gun to capture Shaggy. Hopefully, they'll stick with the shotgun for Scrappy-Doo
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Finally ready to stop resting on her laurels, Harper Lee's sophomore novel will be released this summer
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Today's "Alien found in a can of tuna" story brought to you by Nottingham, England. "I opened the top of the lid and saw a purply thing, a gut sack or intestine. Then I turned it round and pushed it with a fork and saw it looking back at me"
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
As it turns out, headstone fraud is a serious criminal undertaking
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everything Lubbock)
 
 
 
Pilot asks NTSB to re-open investigation of 2/3/59 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper; CNN producers high-five each other as they now have their programming set for the rest of the year
source: everythinglubbock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Hey there police, I drove to your station because I need your help after being shot in the chest"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Mom faces child abuse charges for slamming the brakes
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Jordanian pilot captured by ISIS is toast
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Derbyshire is a hotbed of Satanism
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
The driver said the gun belonged to a friend. The passenger said the gun belonged to the driver. The computer said the gun belonged to the Austin Police Department
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police: Okay maybe the pepper spray was a bit much but those two were humping like animals in that public toilet. What with the loud noises and all
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Bar manager finds 1 oz gold bar under a table. He tries to find rightful owner. No one claims it. The line starts to my left
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
Is that a gravity knife in your pocket, or are you just being arrested for illegal weapon possession so an NYPD cop can get a promotion?
source: blogs.villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Thieves pick the correct pink charity tin at foodbank to steal for a one-way ticket to hell
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Midwest miracle: Woman woke up hours before she was going to be taken off life support
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Study on who survives disaster and who doesn't finds that 75% freeze up, 15% have their shiat together, and the remaining 10% actively hinder survival prospects. You may know that last group as "Democrats and Republicans"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Explosion at a mall in Perth, Australia kills 2 and injures 3. Early reports suggest a transformer exploded rather than terrorism but it is from CNN so who knows
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Man arrested for illegally catching five alligators and cooking them for his Super Bowl dinner
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"What the Warren Commission didn't know." That no one would ever believe them and that they'd create the biggest conspiracy theory ever?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
800th anniversary of the Magna Carta brings the four surviving original documents together on display for the first time. "It's a real moment in history"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Will The Lonely Tree of Llanfyllin defy the odds? Can the Bulgarian Plane reign triumphant? Or will the Major Oak of Sherwood Forest take the crown? Your European Tree Of The Year Thread is right here
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Researchers say Marijuana doesn't change your brain, giggle, forget what they were talking about, say marijuana doesn't change your brain
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
An 11-month-old boy pulls a baggie of cocaine from his mother's shirt during a traffic stop, to prove you're never too young for the Florida tag
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Supplements at major retailers like Walmart, GNC, and Target contain little or no gingko biloba, St. John's wort, or valerian root. Instead testers found: Powdered rice, beans, peas and wild carrots, asparagus and spruce
source: well.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kitten watches snowflakes fall, considers best way to attack them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Flying alien horse spaceship seen near Mexican volcano. Or possibly just a fly on the lens. Both theories equally credible
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Somewhere in France, Hasbro is selling a monopoly set made entirely with real money, which should lead to some interesting arguments about who gets to be the banker
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Stormtroopers working normal jobs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
15-year-old boy dies while attempting skateboard stunt. Goddamnit, Nationwide, enough's enough
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Hey, all the single ladies -- Charles Manson didn't go through with his wedding
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. For California, that's the next 72 hours
source: cliffmass.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you go to the Super Bowl and afterwards you just want to get home as soon as possible but your private luxury jet gets stuck in the mud? Yeah, me too
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Danish study recently concluded that high-intensity, high-mileage joggers die at the same rate as channel-surfing couch potatoes
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Boston Yeti roaming the streets during a snowstorm. New Hotness: Naked Cowboy walking down I-75 during a snowstorm
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OC Weekly)
 
 
 
Five things you learn by shopping at Mexican supermarkets in the US: 1. The produce is a hell of a lot cheaper than the gringo outlets
source: blogs.ocweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
How sweet. A nine year old girl writing a poem about OH MY EFFING LORD
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The biggest winner on Super Bowl Sunday? Pizza box manufacturers, of course
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
"Don't Tase me, mom"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
U.S. Marshals arrest "Poopgangsta." "Turdburglar" still on the loose
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Foodie)
 
 
 
Sriracha is just the tip of the iceberg, as food manufacturers rush to bring Falernum, Gochujang sauce, African Barbecue Marinade, South American Black Sauce, and other exotic ethnic flavors to American grocery shelves
source: foodprocessing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Holy Crap
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Ever wondered why February has 28 days? Let's just say the Romans hated winter and loved answering "None" when asked what month it was
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Don't bring a hammer to a pitchfork fight. Unless you tape it to a broom handle, that might give you the reach you need... but I digress
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 02, 2015
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
One truck carrying bees and one truck carrying frozen chicken collide to make a delectable asphalt-glazed roasted honey chicken
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
 
 
Episode 5: The Groundhog Bites Back
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Introducing the spaghetti sandwich. Need I say more?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Apparently they're cremating unicorns in Britain. That or someone has just elected a gay pope at this factory
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Record News)
 
 
 
Attempt to pay your property taxes in cash? That's an arrestin'
source: timesrecordnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain has their own version of "I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes" guy... and he's smashing (Not safe for workish picture)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Police are investigating how the toddler got hold of the gun and shot his mother"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
It's time for a Timbuktu Tennis Match, Fark Photoshop style
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Giving you measles since 2014
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
The first and possibly only time the words "anal vapor" appeared in the Congressional Record
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Breaking news: some BIG bunnies have found North Dakota and are initiating takeover operations
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Just $18,000 will get you your very own limited edition bottle of McDonald's thousand island dressing
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Women are you tired of creepy men sending you unwanted d*ck pics? Here's a way to make them pull their pants up - You're welcome
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Novice bank robber learnt from a "how to" guide. Neglects to read the chapter on getaway cars
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
So it seems Michelangelo had more of a thing for 'luxuriant pubic hair' and inverted belly buttons
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this winter wonderland
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)