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Sun January 25, 2015
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Upset that cops used pictures of black people for target practice, dozens of Lutheran clergy send photos in ministry garb to police, ask to be their targets instead. They sent one picture of each side so they could turn the other cheek
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
Crash survivors land in cemetery. Sixth grade riddlers rejoice
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
MILF leaves 30 Filipino police dead. Probably would not hit that
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
♫ One mall in Bangkok's filled with fish and oysters, but now the residents must set them free ♫ So every local with a pail's a hoister, dumping all the fishes back into the sea ♫ I can feel a catfish wriggling next to me ♫
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
British scientists want to unleash millions of genetically engineered mosquitoes in the Keys. What could possibly go wrong?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Photoshop this laughing matter
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago police make $1M pot bust. In other news, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead announce their final shows together at Soldier Field
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
TSA tries the "if it's not in the report, it didn't happen" game again
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman files a claim against the FAA after a plane crashed into her home. You'd think they wouldn't require a claim
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Today's Fark headline sponsored by MadLibs™: Fox-whisperer lures blue animal from hotel vending machine room with Doritos
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
AirAsia Flight QZ8501 falls into the ocean. Again
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's January 25th, Burns Night, and in Scotland that means an evening of haggis, whisky and the poetry of Robert Burns. So, pretty much like any other night in Scotland
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this jovial jockey
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Sew what?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Police: Reward offered for info about man who murdered police officer. Citizen: This is the guy who did it. Can I haz reward money? Police: Fark off
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I guess a haggis burger along with a side of neep and tattie fries sounds doable after a hangover. Whisky sauce?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently good manners and good parenting are so rare these days that it's newsworthy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how do we really know that the drunk, passed out woman didn't want to be set on fire? I mean, some people just like to be set on fire, you know"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The 2nd most incredible invention ever turns 80 this weekend (the most incredible invention is what goes inside the 2nd most incredible invention). The article's headline gives instructions on how to celebrate, which, odds are, you've already done
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In medical breakthrough, British hospital pioneers use of "simple flowchart" to prevent wrong relative being informed of patient death. New procedure likely to be £3bn over budget and 2 years behind schedule
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Snowpocalypse Now as winter storm Juno takes aim at the Mid-Atlantic and New England. The Mid-West wonders what all the fuss is about
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upworthy)
 
 
 
Wait, you mean Africa ISN'T just one giant village full of AIDS, huts and starving children we can save for just five cents a day? Mind...blown
source: upworthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
PUPPIES... yes 14 of them little PUPPIES. Wat? That's a lot of PUPPIES
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
94-year-old can't file his tax return because the IRS says he's dead, say they hope to have the mistake rectified just in time for his actual death
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Jersey police pull man over in HOV lanes, find two kidnap victims in the back seat. Well, that's one way to get enough passengers to meet the HOV lane passenger requirements
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Australia...yes, the country is mad as a cut snake about a spewin' cake
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Kooks and Cranks
source: kernelmag.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lone fan
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters)
 
 
 
Couple returns $2,600 worth of lettuce to Burger King
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Computer crash at NJ Motor Vehicle Commission brings operations to a screeching halt. Event goes unnoticed by customers
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Police release body cam video of Oklahoma shooting, so the public can see the events as they unfolded
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Left your baby on the subway? Don't tell your wife
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Occasionally, there is justice: dad of bullies loses his job for obvious reasons
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
One perk about being religious in Alaska is that you're allowed to attend church over the phone from the comfort of your own home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGRZ Buffalo)
 
 
 
Man shot at 2 in the morning, possibly as a result of barfight from aptly named nightclub
source: wgrz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Lawnmowers. New Hotness: Goats
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 24, 2015
(Slate)
 
 
 
On the one hand I'm cold and miserable, but on the other, I feel morally superior and get to look down at everyone else
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Grand Canyon concessionaire applies for trademarks on names of 20 historic lodges just in case it loses the contract that's up for bid. To be fair, it's been running these things since before there was a Grand Canyon
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Swifty)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abandoned water slide
source: img.swifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
State of Michigan: I don't care if the child is not yours. If you don't pay support, we'll throw you in jail
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Not really news: jewelry store robbery. News: $4.6 million necklace stolen. Fark: police are searching for the 12-year-old girl who did it
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman decides that since she's at a wildlife sanctuary, all the animal are domesticated, so it's okay to reach an arm into a cage and try to pet an animal. Even when that caged animal is a 400-pound black bear
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Chinese men caught stealing two million baby eels. Authorities said the smugglers' getaway hovercraft was jammed full of them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
The best thing to happen to KY since jelly
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pope Francis says we should... Hold on *click click click click click click click click* Says we should put down... Hold on *click click click click click click click* We should put down our iPhones and talk to each... Hold on
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Roanoke woman discovers the Catch-22 about parking in space 22
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
TMZ catches John "Papa John" Schnatter eating someone else's pizza. Bonus: with a fork. OH THE HUMANITY
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
FBI investigating 'credible' bomb threats at Atlanta airport
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fire captain removes naked photos of 8-year-old dead girl who died in the 1944 circus fire from the wall of his firehouse. And, shockingly, people have a problem with this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Caption these two happy penguins
source: fc05.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sit and stretch
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman goes to dentist to have a little work done, comes out with no teeth. It's the British way
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sensational NASA photo proves once and for all, beyond all doubt, that life exists on Mars
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Scientists upload a worm's mind into a Lego robot. Hell I did that with my best friend's Legos in the school sandbox back in 1983 and no one wrote anything about me
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're a fugitive wanted for credit card fraud and theft, it's probably best not to take selfies featuring you and the wads of cash you've stolen from people and post them to Instagram
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
School sends note to parents attempting to shame them with request for signature. The parent's response is golden, and then it gets better
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Who brings a machete to a pike & musket fight?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Worst FBI Informant ever
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ConservativeRead)
 
 
 
Woman gets arrested for . . . Wait, what the fark?
source: conservativeread.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
"A 23-year-old British student has spoken of being "trapped in a time loop" after one of the most unusual cases of extreme déjà vu has crippled the last eight years of his life"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Sex Ed teacher arrested for giving student hands on training
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Police: Please don't loot the zombie hunter's vacant home just because he's in jail
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Remember back in college when you had the luxury of time to turn your dorm room into a giant ball pit for no good reason? Good times, man
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"It was dark, they couldn't see. They assumed it was someone jumping, but at some point they realized the person was not responding to their commands. One of them pulled out their binoculars and realized it was a mannequin"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Nitrous oxide makes comeback to treat delivery room pain. Doctors say the Wa Wa Wa's are good preparation for the Wa Wa Wa's
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The numbers are now in, and the TSA seized 2212 firearms at U.S. airports last year. FARK: Most were loaded
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Watching people try North Carolina moonshine for the first time goes exactly how you'd expect
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Welcome to National Handwriting Day. Please just try to follow the script
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Proving once again that having a dog is better than having a child, study shows that helicopter parenting is actually appreciated by a pet
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: A modern day version of this classic ad
source: farm3.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
When you need to trick your kids into eating oysters, mussels, and clams you're only really satisfying your own shellfish desires
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
Mickey's Measles is in Oregon now, and is in a county where the highest exemption rate is a school that has 49% of students missing one or more vaccinations
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Woman snaps amazing photo of Bigfoot in northeastern Ohio: "If you look closely, you can see snow stuck to the hair on the leg and buttocks of the photographed subject" (with totally not photoshopped pic, pinkie-swear)
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mittens the hermaphroditic cat is awaiting gender reassignment surgery to become a boy because the dual genitalia are causing bowel and urinary issues. Please warmly welcome him to Caturday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Parenting advice from "America's worst mom": Calm the fark down. Seriously, land that farking helicopter once and for all and go make yourself a martini like your mom did
source: well.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
If you think bedbugs in your mattress are terrifying, try not to think about all the dust mites and bodily fluids
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
NYC Fark Party: Brunch, because why not? Sat., Jan. 24 1:00 PM
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Gay cousins can now marry in Alabama
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After West Yorkshire abandons iconic British bobby helmet in favour of modern police caps, BBC asks if the helmet makes any sense in today's hectic modern world. Caps "are less likely to fall off heads, it is argued, and can be worn in a car"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drug that causes weight loss, prevents Type 2 diabetes, raises good cholesterol and gives a high - the Holy Grail of drugs. If it also cures hangovers it's a winner
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 23, 2015
(Fark)
 
 
 
Thought you'd get through a full week without having to take the Fark Weird News Quiz? Oh, how wrong you were
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
University of Michigan frat goes full Animal House, never go full Animal House
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Just to prove its not all nope down under .. the ten best BEER gardens
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Colorado's governor: Legalizing pot was totally bogus
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Man completes 7 marathons on 7 continents in 7 days, makes the rest of us look really lazy
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Lexington)
 
 
 
Local crank and website owner aims to take reins of KY government
source: bizlex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
In news that will no doubt shock the world a billionaire invested over $100 million into a casino chain and was shocked to find out he had become involved with the mafia
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Luxury 1965 Volkswagen Microbus Limousine for sale? *WANT*
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Sure, he fatally shot his ex-wife in front of their children, but his real crime was lying about being a co-founder of Plaxo
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Cops arrest man for possession of "New England Patriots drug pipe." Further proof that the NFL will license anything
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Watermelon may lose its status as state vegetable of Oklahoma - and be replaced with a list of legislators who back in 2007 thought watermelon was a vegetable
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sky view
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
'I'm very fussy about what I eat and when I saw what was in the McNugget I went white,' says woman who eats McNuggets at McDonald's
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
An explanation of how much airlines owe you if you get bumped off an overbooked flight. Bottom line: Did you volunteer to get bumped? SUCKER
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
"Sorry folks, park's closed. The moose, God & space aliens out front should have told ya"
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Bill and Melinda Gates would like you to know that now is the best time in history to be an impoverished third-world subsistence farmer
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Essentially, this papyrus is the scholarly equivalent of 'my girlfriend who lives in Canada.'"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
"Cleanup in Aisle 6"
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky & Telescope)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frozen sunset
source: skyandtelescope.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Obama plans to upgrade city light poles to meet energy-efficient standards, thereby lowering costs, climate impact, and finally destroying America
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The IRS mostly does not call to demand you meet them in a parking lot with a pre-paid debit card. Mostly
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
R.I.P. SkyMall. Now where am I going to buy an $85,000 Seabreacher customized boat?
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Solution to curing heroin addictions found. You guessed it, it's weed
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"When will the British ever fall in love with eating brains?" Warning: the link is just offal
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Don't want to take your kids to church? No biggie, you'll just lose custody, that's all
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wikipedia takes broad steps to skirt controversy, feminists. Period
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Now that their idiocy has led to a measles outbreak at Disneyland, what do the anti-vaxxers have to say for themselves? "Oh, measles isn't really that bad"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
You are empirically wrong if you like playing Monopoly
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Hey, pssst... Hey buddy... Wanna watch this beaver eat some grapes?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Budi the baby orangutan has urge to cross roads after being holed up in a chicken coop all his life, needs better direction in life to make it known he's an orangutan and not a chicken
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
WHHHOOOOO lives in a stomach, oh can't you see, it's SpongeBob Squarepants (w/ X-rays)
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you want to get out of a bad date, you can never go wrong by faking your own death
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you're going to have an accident, a hospital is the best place for it. Difficulty: Buried under a pile of wood chips
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN has a segment called "Selfies of the Week." At least they don't just read Tweets on the air
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Oh baby, hold on to your pants... 'mom jeans' are back
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
When the food at the local prison rates higher than all of your restaurants in the area you know your cuisine sucks
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
♪ It's "Skokie Sergeant's" lonely hearts club scam, taking you for all your dough. "Skokie Sergeant's" lonely hearts club scam, convicted now it's time to go ♪
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yorkshire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Kapow Attack victim finds onesies are bad for his health - after being mistaken for a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger
source: yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You need to get shot before you go to Disneyland
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A fake bank which was set up to look just like a real one has swindled Chinese savers out of $32m
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Concerned citizen calls police multiple times to report drug dealing in front of her house. Do the police: a) thank her, b) arrest the drug dealers, or c) arrest the caller because she is annoying them for repeatedly asking them to do their job?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
For today's court testimony edition of "Dear Penthouse" we have a flight attendant describing how some unruly passengers were trying to join the "Mile-High Club"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Kentucky state senator: An 1891 law preventing legislators from being arrested on official business totally applies to my DUI arrest, so the charges should be dropped. Judge: Sounds legit
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
From today's Driving While Legally Dead file comes this driver who blew an astonishing six times the legal limit
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPIC Roseburg)
 
 
 
Man who bought lottery tickets so he can break up a $100 bill ends up winning $10 million
source: kpic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A look at how parents allowed children's birthday parties to turn from simple pizza and cake gatherings with friends to some sort of extravagant high-society event that seems more like a wedding reception
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Nun turns stomach ache into small human
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lunch
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rapper facing twenty-five years to life in prison on conspiracy charges because of lyrics he wrote that appear to put him in the middle of a murder scheme as prosecutors enact a little-known law where people can't benefit from gang activity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
After being thought extinct, in the USA, one species has made a comeback. Unfortunately, it's an infectious disease that's returned because of anti-vaxers
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mason City Globe Gazette)
 
 
 
It's National Pie Day, so enjoy - whether you prefer apple, pecan, pumpkin, strawberry, or the exceedingly rare hair
source: globegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
No matter how much you want to impress your Facebook friends, don't post a picture of you with your Super Bowl credentials on Facebook
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
You might have a drinking problem if your kids jump out of your car, report you to police for driving drunk
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I don't always get upstaged by a dead squirrel, but when I do I prefer it happen on Squirrel Appreciation Day
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"This is the joke"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sad and Useless)
 
 
 
Straighten up in your basement chair and brush the Cheeto dust off your shirt as you chuckle at these catwalk models in mid-fall
source: sadanduseless.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If your cat is reclusive, demanding, and a general all-around prick, it's only because he's learned it from you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Locals of a beautiful Argentinian town that is trying to get tourism decided to assault and beat 10 Israeli tourists while yelling "F-ing Jew" at them. Yup that should help boost tourism
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Move over Saturday night Shakespeare readings. The new craze for educated hipster urbanites is "puppet slams"
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Then there are days with headlines like this: "Dancing genitals clip not progressive enough for some Swedes"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Director discovers how to make opera even more painful than it already is by stretching one out to four hours and forcing the audience to participate in a pro-vegan yoga session
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 22, 2015
(KEYEtv.com - CBS Austin)
 
 
 
Homeless people in Austin are being evicted from their camps or else face a $500 fine. Because all homeless people have $500 at their disposal, of course
source: keyetv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
In most Canadian crime of the month, $28,000 worth of hockey sticks stolen from store
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Stanford grad gets $2.1 million to design an elite Tinder-app that will help you connect with more educated, classier people looking to fark someone who isn't too far
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Outrage by environmentalists as bears overdose on chocolate before they could be properly shot to death
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Dawn DaLuise found not guilty, vows to continue The Cannonball Run
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chicken)
 
 
 
Photoshop three eggs in glass
source: image3.thematicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has died after learning oil is under $50 a barrel
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Know how you go to Sex Addicts Anonymous to meet chicks? It's like that
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Flight logs put Bill Clinton and Alan Dershowitz on pedophile billionaire's sex jet. Well, this is awkward
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Cops think guy who confused a restored '66 Mustang GT convertible with the fighter plane was drunk or high
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Three words, and a suitable for work link: French Lemon Party
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
School board fires a superintendent " widely considered one of the most effective school leaders of her generation" because she wasn't nice enough to them
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Leader of group campaigning to allow sale of alcohol on Sundays in Indiana decides to prove that people can already get drunk the other six days of the week
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Kitchn)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: You have chocolate. You eat chocolate. You drink chocolate. Do you pair it other food to enjoy the combination or is it best eaten as is?
source: thekitchn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Commander of the U.S. Naval base at Gitmo has been relieved of command "due to loss of confidence in his ability to command," which is Navy-speak, apparently for "Husband of the woman he was farking found dead under questionable circumstances"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Windows 10 looks fresh and exciting. It might even be good"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Sheriff's office rug that read "In Dog We Trust" sells at auction for $9,650
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sabotage Times)
 
 
 
Nostalgia hits new low with "Five running shoes every 00s teenager wore"
source: sabotagetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
The doomsday clock moves to three minutes to midnight. You are now free to PANIC
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN equates iPhones with intelligence, not pretension
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
No one is teaching wisdom in schools. This is apparently a new thing
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
"I admit it. I killed mother and the cats. I demand you put their names in the indictment, especially the cute one. He's black and wears a hat with two things in it"
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Photoshop who all should be sitting at this last supper table
source: i882.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
'Classy' means different things to different people. Here, it means being buried in a casket covered with car parts to the sound of Johnny Cash
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
"Son, what's on television?" "Looks like a Buick LeSabre, Dad"
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
AirAsia jet's alarms were "screaming" before crash. Not unlike the passengers
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Here's the perfect t-shirt to wear on a Wednesday at 3:32 PM, though you should never try to say your friend is wearing it instead
source: betabrand.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese unimpressed by aquarium that offers marriage proposals from divers in the tank holding up cards - "What a lame boyfriend"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
A new study on the efficacy of those "brain-enhancing" energy drinks yields some not so surprising results
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Driver crashes into transformer, knocks out power. Police say excessive lens flare may be to blame
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
Scottish woman's report of seeing Bigfoot, 'not taken seriously.' Nae kidding?
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"This is a US Navy ship, we have the right of way." "This is a sandbar. Your call"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Things not to say to your date: "make sure you delete this so your dad doesn't find out" and "If we get caught, I could go to prison"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Canadian woman forced to seek medical help in US after being told Lyme disease doesn't exist in Ontario
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'People need to have less things in life', says U.S. billionaire after he flies into Davos, Switzerland on his private jet with his wife, children and two nannies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
From the Big Book of British Smiles: 'My wife has become a man but it's made our marriage stronger than ever'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
She told you she was hardcore (not for the squeamish)
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Remember: E-cig smokers have a RIGHT to breathe formaldehyde in your face
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
O'Hare once again named America's busiest, most inefficient airport
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Police hit the easy button, chase a fugitive into a prison parking lot
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News (Poland))
 
 
 
British member of parliament learns a valuable lesson. Never -- repeat, never -- try to keep up with Poles drinking vodak
source: thenews.pl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's bad enough when your phone is stolen, but it's even worse when your stolen phone has child porn on it
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Man traded his dog for a gun to shoot his son with. No word on whether he also rode his mama to visit the train
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Chinese city blames severe air pollution on bacon. (with helpful picture of what bacon looks like)
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Closer Online)
 
 
 
Match.com deletes cannibal police officer's dating profile: 'He listed cooking as a hobby'
source: closeronline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gave your buddy your Netflix password? Welcome to 10-20 years in prison
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Game Of Thrones producers refused to shoot series in Scotland because the nation was unrealistically squalid
source: scotlandnow.dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Mr. Clean's evil twin denies he helped a rescue group steal a dog from someone's yard
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grand Forks Herald)
 
 
 
That nice little old lady who reviewed Grand Forks' Olive Garden is back to tell you about McDonald's
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Research finds one in eight parents regret what they named their child
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Violent outburst at Panda Garden gets hammer-wielding man arrested, says he doesn't want to be confused with those other customers who eat shoots and leaves
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Polly wants a commercial acting gig
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MBL.is)
 
 
 
Mysterious cat theft and an incriminating bra
source: mbl.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Judge rules German men officially allowed to pee standing up
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just so you know, it's a crime to ride the subway wearing a watermelon as a hat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London 24)
 
 
 
Police live-tweet every call they get - the very first one proves people are idiots
source: london24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this savory moment
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Marilyn Manson burns down
source: mycentraloregon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Do not swim behind the whale. That is all
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer accident spills thousands of packs of ramen noodles. Damage estimated in the tens of dollars
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Scientists say you should change your pajamas at least once a week, you lazy, shiftless slob
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Tootsie Roll boss dies at age of 93...94...95. (Crunch). 95
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jamaica considering leaving the barn doors open since the the horses are already out and high as kites
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Boobies - the Sun is still there (possibly not safe for work)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you own any storage units, rental facilities or security boxes that once belonged to a zombie hunter, Phoenix Police would like to talk to you
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Meet Tom the hipster. He can't afford to go out on dates, so he wants you to pay for them. For a contribution of £10 you get a 'signed limited edition print' of his face. And it only gets better from there
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Man dubbed the "Braveheart Bandit" arrested. Wants his Freedooooom. With mugshot of lameass facial tattoo
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Tweet from ESPN recruiting analyst Gerry Hamilton indicates he may have misunderstood his job title
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 507: "Weather III: Stormy Weather" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 21, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some thanks come late in life, some like this reunion between a Holocaust survivor and his soldier savior that took 70 years are still worth every damn bit of that thanks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Art museums baffled that today's patrons expose themselves to art by taking selfies with the paintings. "Starry Night and Claude Monet's Water Lilies are the prime selfie real estate, it seems"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Drinkingfourcupsofcoffee everydaycanreduceyour riskofskincancer
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
New sex toy is a foot with a vagina in the ankle, called the "vajankle." I suppose that's better than its original proposed name, "the funt" (not safe for work)
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
King Tut / His beard makes him so foxy / King Tut / It's glued on with epoxy
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this solitary man
source: static.diary.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Look, I'm pretty sure that's not quite what she meant when she said she wanted you to clean up the house
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Mom on strike until her kids behave in a rare display of creative parenting someone somewhere is sure to be upset about
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
94-year-old man who slipped and fell at an intersection gets back into his car and intentionally runs over the Good Samaritan who helped him to his feet
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
One person injured, one person killed after game of deer pong. Drink
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Unlike the other lifeless husks of men and women found on a Greyhound, the one found inside the bathroom of this bus was actually dead
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
After years of testing woman who literally knows no fear, scientists finally manage to freak her out
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That throaty revving sound your muscle car or manly truck makes? Yeah, it's just a faked bit of overcompensation. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG ID's one of those Texas thieves who took selfies with a stolen iPad that sent images to owner's iCloud account. Bonus: He has the word "Brilliant" tattooed across his chest
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Jesus getting tired of appearing on slices of toast and tree trunks decides to pop up on a wet dog's ear
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Scientists find that "Nuclear Pasta" may hold together neutron stars. FSM approves
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fabulous tunnel
source: l1.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
You'd be a millionaire if you weren't a smoker
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Dear Diary, This code is complicated. It certainly implies that some relation between x and y has been laid down eg, y=x2+3x, and Bob's your uncle, I'm a gay cryptanalyst
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg set an example for how best to listen to the State of the Union message -- she took a nap
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
UN says anti-sodomy laws breed intolerance. Wait, I thought the whole point of sodomy was to avoid breeding anything
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Why animals eat psychoactive plants, and no it's not just 'because they can'
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ukraine steps up its offensive against the Russians by....recruiting pensioners
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
83-year-old woman arrested for opening can of whoopass on 87-year-old husband. Difficulty: Both of them forgot what they were fighting about
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drinks Business)
 
 
 
Whisky lovers invited to sip from the "naval of a half-century-old Hell's Angel"
source: thedrinksbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nearly fifty percent of Japanese adults "not having sex." And by "not having sex," they mean with other people
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Guns don't kill people. Random idiots attacking you for your legally carried concealed weapon don't either, but it still probably hurts a lot
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man robs people with can of energy drink, explains to police that "guns are dangerous"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's one thing to kindle the flames of a woman's passion with a song, but it's quite another to actually set her on fire while you sing about it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Cocoa farmers are facing an uncertain future, even as FARC is attempting to negotiate a peace treaty that will inevitably involve beer
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
For some people, the best thing about Walmart is the free samples they give away; lunch meats, sausages, children
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You might not want to sit down for this
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
109-year-old woman says secret to long life is avoiding men
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Today's case of a 75-year-old woman arrested for trying to run over a man walking his dogs comes to us from Phoenix, Arizona
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
"The Fifty Shades of Grey movie won't feature the book's infamous tampon scene." I'm really glad this headline means nothing to me
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Police officer, under investigation for stalking allegations, decides to resign, because that's what all innocent people do
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
The first rule of elementary school knife fight club is...wait. Elementary school?
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
Woman to taxi driver: Keep an eye on my 1-year-old, I'm just going to quickly run into this store and rob it
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Awesome cat armour is awesome
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brazilian off duty cop shoots surfer. Brodie inconsolable
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you live in South Florida, you could get arrested by the star of Kazaam himself, Shaquille O'Neal, who was just sworn in as a reserve police officer
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Scientists investigating why more than 300 birds off the coast of California have emerged covered in a "mystery goo"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The NFL confirms it. Tom Brady plays with soft balls
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this force with tasks
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
If your prison has six escapes in a month, you might have a slight problem
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Female Papa John's delivery driver shoots an armed robber in the face. Better ammo, better protection...Papa John's
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
As a tourist the last thing you're thinking when running up the steps imitating Rocky in Philadelphia is whether you'll have to fight him
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The FBI has finally arrested America's most wanted hipster criminal, the "Skinny Jeans Bandit"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Kibosh, banal, comptroller: Chances are, you're saying it wrong
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
DNF the Racist Troll on MLKjr Day ― but if you must, this is how it's done
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
Woman on mobility scooter tries to turn around on train platform. Since this is posted here, you can very well guess how it turns out. w/vid
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Son: Can I get a Kirby vacuum cleaner for my birthday, please? Mom: Uhhh... Kirby Salesman: Step back, I got this
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Craigslist prostitution sting results in... OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?
source: charlestondailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Congress votes to use only authentic Chinese melamine in the inevitable Keystone XL explosion fragments
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Customer at Lowe's opens a cabinet to determine whether or not it has enough space. The snake slumbering inside didn't care for the interruption and bit the customer in the head
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Kickstarter campaign from The Oatmeal creator seeks $10,000 in 30 days to fund "Exploding Kittens" card game. Hits goal in 8 minutes. Cracks $1 million inside of 5 hours. Time to start designing games
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 20, 2015
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
The alphabet of American craft brewers. Except for X, anyone have any suggestions for X?
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
One of the biggest problems for Canadians is making ends meet when you're earning just $25,000 a month
source: o.canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
When skyscraper construction workers goof off at work it goes to a whole new level
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
"Attention children of the '90s: you can still get McDonald's pizza. You just have to drive to Ohio or West Virginia to get it"
source: o.canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
My diddle pony offers bareback rides
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Prehistoric monster shark with 300 teeth hauled in off Australia, guaranteed to give you nightmares and make you never want to go in the water again
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Aren't you glad you aren't allergic to cold weather?
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSYR Syracuse)
 
 
 
Walmart parking lot rage is all the...rage...these days
source: wsyr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
While smoking pot is now entirely legal in the state of Washington, "puffing and passing" is still felony "marijuana distribution" according to state law
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Cubans, Isis, Taxes, and Community College will be the downfall of the U.S. and your sobriety in the official Fark SOTU discussion and drinking game thread
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(WTKR)
 
 
 
When you give a ride to a man and woman who approach you outside of the Cock Island Bar and Grill you almost expect to be carjacked and left to knock on doors for help
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this burdensome load
source: a57.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
A 76 year-old woman crashed into an insurance building, has claim immediately processed
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Under the Dome, hippy version. "The trill of panpipes from a yurt wafted across the mulch hillocks"
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(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Funny: Boot to the head skit. Florida: Daycare worker reenacts scene with toddlers, caught on cam
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(Northern Star (Australia))
 
 
 
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite pizza
source: northernstar.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
X-ray video shows how hamsters stuff their cheeks
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(Slate)
 
 
 
Facebook announces plan to start charging for accounts, with options starting at $5 per month
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
New lab lets students work on real-world projects at Boeing, so the next time you're about to lawn dart into the tarmac on a flaming jet you can at least be glad someone got extra credit in class
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(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Caption this happy couple
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The hippopotamus: cuddly, ballet-dancing herbivores or GIGANTIC CANNIBALISTIC KILLING MACHINES? No mention of "ugly cats" as an option
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(Sputnik News)
 
 
 
Your "Oh my god, who the hell cares" story of the day, now featuring Edward Snowden
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Former ISIS volunteer faked his own death to leave Syria and return home to Britain apparently deciding that spending the rest of his life in a British prison was preferable to spending any more time fighting for ISIS in Syria
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Things are going to shiite in Yemen
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(Shanghaiist)
 
 
 
I used to hang laundry on my balcony like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee (Warning: Graphic image in article)
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(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Triple amputee with prosthetic legs competes in marathons, Ironman races, which is kind of unfair considering he actually IS mostly iron at this point
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(AZ Family)
 
 
 
You can now spend the night in a hotel made in the back of a Tesla. No word on how much you'll be charged in the morning
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Dying With Dignity dies with no dignity
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(Failure Magazine)
 
 
 
Years after the big financial crisis, guess which state kicked off the new year with a bank going under
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(Prospect Magazine (UK))
 
 
 
Photoshop this street fighter
source: prospectmagazine.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Red. Velvet. Oreos
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Sun sets on topless page 3 models
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(The Local)
 
 
 
Rabbit breeders tell Pope: rabbits don't breed "like rabbits"
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(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
The Canadian government doesn't want people to know its most top-secret electronic spying complex is secured by a padlock on a back door with no alarm. Oops
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(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
"Free, for one day only, see the majesty of 'The Holy Land Experience.' Come ride the Baptismal log flume. Try your hand at turning water into wine. Help us get our tax write-off"
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(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Cats and chickens living together, mass hysteria
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Kids getting out of hand on the playground? That's why god gave us tear gas
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mayor of Paris refuses to surrender and will sue Fox news
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(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR asks the question: What if heaven isn't real? Stay tuned for upcoming exposes on Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Pat's ability to win a game without cheating
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(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Texas TV meteorologist back on-air after being shot, wears Superman T-shirt in triumph
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(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
In Soviet Russia, plutonium guards itself. We better hope it does, anyway
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The six most expensive beers brewed in America to the left, that one expensive rare beer you drank that one time to the right
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(WTKR)
 
 
 
Family reunited with lost dog that was stolen and sold on Craigslist. With bonus outtakes of reporter trying to get a playful Husky to sit still
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(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"In a result that surprised researchers, a new study found that employees who had hostile bosses were better off on several measures if they returned the hostility"
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(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Thieves break into ice cream stand. Because when you think about it, an ice cream stand in New Hampshire would leave all of their money in the cash registers over the winter, right?
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(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Man saves every penny he has for 65 years
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Lego Man reunited with sick boy after wandering off and getting lost. Told not be such a blockhead next time
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marin Independent Journal)
 
 
 
Study finds that most anti-vaxxers live in geographic clusters and hippie enclaves like Marin County
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(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
"Do you know why I pulled you over? It is to say 'Will you marry me?'"
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(MassLive)
 
 
 
Police say domestic violence suspect just fell down on his own, and then he started smashing his head into things
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having sex in the Nevada desert? Yeah, that's a $250,000 medical bill
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Just what the Farking Fark is Drew up to?
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(USA Today)
 
 
 
Judge says tricked out stud-finder may violate the Fourth Amendment
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(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Radio signal from space detected: "SSssssttoopp sssseenndinggg Pppppaaatttt Booooooonnneee aaaaallllbuuuummmsss"
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(CityLab)
 
 
 
Despite a smear campaign generated by lawbreakers and malcontents, America's opinion of the police is still incredibly high, though they still have mixed feelings about Sting's solo work
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(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Today's 'Not The Onion' headline comes to us from Oregon: Christian Mom Gives Up Leggings For God
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(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Can't park your truck in your own driveway? Welcome to the wacky world of living in a homeowner's association
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(CTV News)
 
 
 
It's so damn cold in Canada right now that people are refusing to leave burning houses
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(Metro)
 
 
 
Man poses as toilet on Tinder, gets 200 matches
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(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic bird
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Large sinkhole swallows up part of luxury golf course in the UK. The horror in seeing them suffer... Is there a donate button somewhere?
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Researchers from the University of Illinois at Chicago declare war on pizza. Fortunately, no local businesses will be affected
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(Wells Journal (UK))
 
 
 
Bras dumped in bushes. Litter patrol promises to nip this crime in the bud
source: wellsjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Human Cannonball" dies at 24, which is a ripe old age for a human cannonball
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pull up your Kmart underwear and tune in to Judge Wapner, the 2015 list of the world's 10 most safest airlines has just dropped
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Happy MLKKK Day
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sugar is going to kill you
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Organizers of kite festival at local park under fire for not providing enough parking, not having enough trash cans, and not chopping down enough kite eating trees
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(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Retired police officer spots Bigfoot while camping, east of Fresno county, California: "It didn't stand up fully straight, it had very ape-like features, I didn't know what I was looking at"
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(io9)
 
 
 
Ever notice how grease kills the head on a beer? HERE COMES THE SCIENCE
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(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
The Pope would like to remind everyone that a vagina is not a clown car
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Generally speaking, you shouldn't try to ride your motorized scooter up a steep desert mountain trail
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know, if you let people know your dog is going to inherit your estate when you die BEFORE you are dead, there is a good chance your dog will not outlive you
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(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
One dead, I-75 closed "Indefinitely" after overpass collapse north of Cincinnati
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 19, 2015
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Owls are attacking joggers in Oregon. O RLY? YA RLY
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Georgia driver gets ticketed for eating a cheeseburger behind the wheel, but it could be worse - imagine if cars were outfitted with numerous receptacles for beverages. That would truly be a grievous hazard
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(USA Today)
 
 
 
You might want to stock pile cans of gasoline because a former oil executive predicts $5/gallon as early as this summer
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(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Growing list of things the White House has been sued over: Obamacare, immigration policy, spying on cell phone users, slippery Porta Johns
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Science figures out why it smells so good after it rains
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(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair flipper
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(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Armed with this video, firefighters across the country are trying to convince their chief to buy a jet ski fire boat
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
The next group to be terrorized by ISIS: Bird breeders
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(WMUR New Hampshire)