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Sun January 11, 2015
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Old and busted: "The Knockout Game" The new hotness: "Knockouts for Jesus"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Dude busted for recklessly driving his awesome gas-powered beer cooler
source: truckyeah.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Transgender woman who injected glue and tire sealant into flats still unhappy with bond
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science 2.0)
 
 
 
"So many couples seek the help of professionals to have their marriage dissolved after the strains of the Christmas season that the first Monday of the first working week of the year is known among lawyers as Divorce Monday"
source: science20.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Beer-glazed maple bacon. Got your attention now?
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this kingdom and its proletariat
source: i0.gmx.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Free speech in America: When the Smith College president gave a speech saying "we're just wild and crazy," the transcript replaced "crazy" with "ableist slur." Comments to the right, but please, no intelligence-impaired words
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Beer pairings for Girl Scout cookies
source: beerandbrewing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The history of American linguistic synonyms for intoxication
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
How does getting a helicopter for free cost you $2 million? Difficulty: Newark, New Jersey
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Tips help CHiPs arrest guy who stole Harley-Davidson motorcycle from Grumpy's Tavern. And ... cue theme song
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The coyote takeover of New York City is just a matter of time
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
FDNY Ice rescue drill interrupted by ice rescue. Firemen say now they're really looking forward to next month's supermodel rescue drill
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In a post-Christmas miracle, dozens of people are having visions after eating Jesus-cake
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Quit smoking drug implicated in 30 suicides. I guess it really works
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mysterious place
source: i2.gmx.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cornishman)
 
 
 
Scilly police baffled after fried egg found at crime scene. Ridiculous police issue APB and arrest warrant for bacon; hash browns also wanted for questioning
source: cornishman.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burnley Express)
 
 
 
Meh, unless you wake up in a place where everyone is speaking Farsi, it's not a real bender
source: burnleyexpress.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Oscar Mayer mansion is up for sale in Chicago. Someone let Abe Froman know, he'll probably want in on this
source: homes.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
...so, a hard day's knight?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NYPD officers told they can't take vacation time or sick days until they stop their work slowdown and issue more tickets
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Biggest health risk in Scotland, after eating Scottish food and drinking Scottish booze? Breathing Scottish air
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British children's hospitals forced to chain toys to sick kids' cribs with bicycle locks because thieves are stealing them all (w/ pics that will make you sad inside)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
So the courthouse was closed even though you planned to be married, what are you going to do? Get a police officer to marry you instead
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What are New Yorkers reading on the subway? "The Elements of Style." Of course they are
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
High school senior: Retouching my yearbook photo to hide blemishes and even out the skin tone? Thanks. Making my face thinner? Now you've gone too far
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(potato rescue foundation)
 
 
 
A stray potato seems to have found its way to my doorstep. It's so cute, and I want to keep it, but I have no idea how to care for a potato. Any advice?
source: grapes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The Golden Gate is shutting down, shutting down, shutting down
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
It's finally time to replace "speed kills" with "stupid driving kills"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Kids weigh in on sprinkler leak at daycare center. Reporter desperate for story
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tail found, but no box
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yurrup... [peers over bifocals]... you've lost *another* Russian sub? Sigh
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Camel kills two at Texas farm, says this was revenge for his lost brother Joe
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Having experience in jungle survival, possessing martial arts proficiency, being a wine and food aficionado. James Bond? Nope. Bear Grylls? Nah. Your friendly flight attendant? Bingo
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this one vehicle pileup
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Get Lost
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"One terrorist showing little regard for health and safety guidance continued to pour the fuel onto the fire as it burned"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
The number of children being home-schooled in America keeps rising as the standards for teaching them keep dropping. What could go wrong?
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Russian investigative group presents compelling evidence MH17 was accidentally shot down by pre-serum Steve Rogers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kyiv Post)
 
 
 
German investigative group presents compelling evidence that MH17 was shot down by Russian Buk surface-to-air launcher that had illegally encroached on Ukrainian soil
source: kyivpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
News outlet attacked for reprinting Charlie Hebdo ca--
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eurasianet)
 
 
 
Are you an orphan? Are you disabled? Do you live in Russia, where they've recently banned Americans from adopting you? Sorry, kid, you're probably in the state orphanage for life
source: eurasianet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
In the Jewish Supermarket shooting in Paris, one employee risked his life and saved 15 people...a Muslim employee. And his response to the media "We are brothers. It's not a question of Jews, of Christians or of Muslims"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man posts bold declaration "It's only murder if they find the body" on Facebook, learns just how wrong he is
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 10, 2015
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Fourth graders in trouble for plotting to kill their teacher with hand sanitizer
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Orlando Airport is Orlando's new place for: A) Spotting Mickey & Minnie, B) Getting molested by the TSA, C) The homeless to hang out and panhandle
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Farting near a girl? That's a beating
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eerie frigid photos of Michigan's ice covered St Joseph Lighthouse are something almost from another world
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this familiar yellow hat
source: moviecostumes4u.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
What will happen to Oregon's pot-detecting K-9s when marijuana becomes legal?
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
"It's as though you are handing out hand grenades as party favors. It's a disaster waiting to happen"
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
For once Sweden's Gavle Goat made it through a holiday season without getting torched by arsons, assaulted by drunks, or being run over by a Volvo
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
McDonald's hopes you will take advantage of the lower gas prices by eating out more
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
And here's the latest bulletin from our 'Mate, Hold My Lager And Watch This" desk
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Normally a relationship between an 18-year-old male and a 23-year-old female isn't newsworthy. Unless he's still a high school student and she's his hot teacher
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
You should avoid flying United through Denver right now, unless you have a few extra hours to kill and you don't particularly like your stuff
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Couple who have gotten 'unofficially' married 66 times around the world are planning a traditional Maori ceremony in New Zealand for number 67 further proving some people have too much time and money
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Rescue two Bald Eagles that fell out of their nest? That's an arresting. MURICA
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man, who wouldn't want to work in a shipping container converted into an office?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Stat of the day: Number of people in Times Square for New Year's Eve: one million. Number of NYPD officers on scene: several thousand. Number of citations issued that night: zero
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just because you filmed yourself robbing a bank doesn't mean you can then say it was all part of an art project when you later get arrested. "It's not a crime; it's artwork.... He's an intellectual"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Oil industry thinks it's freaking hilarious that New York State has banned fracking, noting that New York's petroleum reserves are about as valuable as those of Delaware, America's smallest state
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the happy cotton candy man
source: batut.ua   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
A lieutenant colonel returns from Africa to find that a 1972 Gremlin her father bequeathed her had been towed and sold
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
By identical 14-7 votes, the Newton, Massachusetts Board of Aldermen decided to keep a River Street property in the Business 1 zoning district and eliminate nuclear weapons within five years
source: newton.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
News: War on terror gets major new ally in Anonymous. Fark: Which threatens to shutter jihadists' social media accounts
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The behavioral psychology of bicyclists to the left, why you think that entitles you to running them into a ditch to the right
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
If the defroster in that SUV you bought at city auction a few years ago isn't working, it could be the 41 pounds of pot that's still hidden in the dashboard
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police called to all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant by customers who complained staff weren't letting them eat all they could
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before...George Zimmerman arrested on aggravated assault ch
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sometimes barns could have valuable surprises. A Shelby Cobra car found in one could fetch a cool million
source: autos.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inforum)
 
 
 
Man arrested for threatening family after losing board game. YAHTZEE
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
You can't bring a knife to a gunfight and expect to win, but if you bring a shovel, you've got a chance
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How cold was it Thursday? Mars was warmer than 14 states
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Eating an avocado a day helps to get rid of bad cholesterol, according to a study from The Hass Avocado Board
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Romero closer to sainthood. Sainthood is the character or status of a saint, which is any of certain persons of exceptional holiness of life, formally recognized as such by the Christian Church, especially by canonization
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this elephant somewhere unexpected
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Old and busted: a cardboard box for your cat. New and improved: a castle for the discriminating feline with a superiority complex, just in time for Caturday
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The hotel that inspired 'The Shining' wants fans to drink some red rum and design a new hedge maze
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soshiok)
 
 
 
Buffet worker, there's a rat in my dish of salted vegetables and it's NOT doing the backstroke
source: soshiok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What do all of the controls in an airliner cockpit do? Funny you should ask
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Jilted husband: I don't care if you're a defenceless double amputee war hero, you're in bed with my wife and WILL get a beating
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Court to decide if Petraeus betrayed us
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Al Qaeda defector: Sleeper cells are all throughout the West, extremely organized, act as normal members of society. "What they are really doing is waiting for the right moment, then these sleeping cells eventually wake up and attack their targets"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 09, 2015
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"This is your Captain speaking, we're coming in SIDEWAYS... please reach under your seats and pull out the Depends"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The work week is over, but you're not going anywhere until you finish the Fark Weird News Quiz. Also, take care of those TPS reports. Didn't you get the memo?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Anderson Cooper helpfully corrects Chris Cuomo that a terrorist born in Paris to Senegalese immigrants is NOT "African American"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scranton Times-Tribune)
 
 
 
Local public television station loses 40% of its members when public finds out the executive director is making $600,000 a year
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
ABQ police run out of citizens to shoot, start firing on each other
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
In one town, an 11-year-old boy is single-handedly responsible for one fifth of the crime
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Police discover home in meth bust was site of drug deals for more than 20 years. That would grant it historical landmark status, right?
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beast out of the sea
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
So, that hostage situation was exciting, huh? Wonder what's been going on in the rest of the world while we were all glued to our TVs?
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
It's just pee
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Stuff you don't want to hear when the phone rings: 1. "This is the IRS." 2. "This is your husband's girlfriend." 3. "This is the funeral home. Someone just drove off with the hearse carrying your son's body"
source: live.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Attention Malaysia, Muslim clerics have now banned the following: Yoga, black metal, Halloween, Valentine's Day, Wagyu beef, botox, and drinking coffee made from beans pooped out by mammals
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Hypothetically, if Subby were to rob a store, I probably wouldn't choose the local GUN STORE
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for getting Lucky in the sack
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
British Boffins offer global warming deniers a charming bouquet of 368 native wildflowers. 368 species of flowers blooming on New Year's Day, that is, instead of 20 or 30 species 50 years ago. Still no signs anywhere of climate change
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Scientists admit they "guessed wrong" about this year's flu vaccine. They totally nailed their guesses on the other vaccines, though, no worries
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Parents question a TX mall's policy of having the police escort out any teen accused of "excessive loitering" inasmuch as a) walking around aimlessly is kinda the POINT of shopping malls and B) it only seems to ever happen to BLACK teens
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Profiles in Courage: FL. in the wake of the Paris terror attacks, FL Pastor Terry Jones, famous for threatening to stage Koran burnings at his church, has decided to remove his picture from a french fry shop he owns at a local mall
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Bill Boeing Jr., son of famous jet maker's founder, dies at age 92. Funeral to be held in Seattle but coffin will invariably be re-routed to Phoenix by mistake
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The main reason I couldn't locate my 'arsehole cat' was that 'he has bright yellow eyes but happened to be dozing when I did a scan of the room'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
US military commissaries overseas facing critical food shortages. Easy, just feed dependent wives, kids MREs. Problem solved
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man jumping onto interstate from overpass during rush hour creates huge mess. There was an accident, too
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice tickler
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
Sometimes you just can't win: News Corp posts ad for an intern with a helpful photo of job duties and some people get all upset (SFW)
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Student credited with saving New York family from house fire, extra-credited for properly spelling Oneonta
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hampton Roads)
 
 
 
Best Korea developing missile-launching sub, which military analysts suggest could dramatically reduce the amount of time it takes their missiles to sink into the ocean
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWMT Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
What do 40,000 pounds of exploding fireworks, 50 semis, 40 cars, burning hazardous waste, a three mile evacuation, at least one fatality, and busloads of refugees have in common?
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's that 'the world has gotten so crazy, even Hezbollah is starting to make sense' time again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Yellowstone deputies shoot a driver that was sort of coming right at them maybe
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
In the Justin Bieber shoot Calvin Klein made the dick look bigger. They also enlarged his groin
source: defamer.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Not news: Washington state weed growers grow more pot than people can buy. Fark: Ten times more
source: slog.thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Well, that's an awkward ad placement on news story about pet-snatching alligators
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Search for missing airline has not yet found the AirAisa black box, although it may have just found the machine that goes PING
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Here are 10 stupid winter driving myths that need to be dropped for good - especially #8
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
New rules ban beer kegs at University of Virginia fraternity parties. Which is about as likely as asking the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest to go vegetarian
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Couple caught having sex on seafront promenade avoid jail as judge calls them "disgusting" and yeah, you're gonna side with the judge on this one
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Next computer apocalypse scheduled for June 30, 2015 at 11:59:60
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IBN Live (India))
 
 
 
Indian employee fired after skipping work for 24 years. Submitter looking to apply for open position
source: ibnlive.in.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Indian government announces it will start cleaning its offices with cow piss, because the country has a LOT of cow piss. And a lot of government buildings
source: economictimes.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
"What do I do if my Internet pipes freeze?"
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Nineteen year old thinks his Dodge Charger is faster than a Ford Mustang, cops
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
The tale of the dog abandoned at the train station with a suitcase of his belongings just got sadder
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You should be eating horsemeat because it's good for you and environmentally responsible, but the U.S. gummint won't let you
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bill Cosby: "You should be careful drinking around me." Dude, too soon
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Rob Schneider appears to have fallen on hard times after stealing a woman's cell phone and uploading selfies to her iCloud account
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Corrupt cop jailed for failure to watch Superman III
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Manhunt in France has suspects surrounded. Update: 2 separate hostage situations now ongoing in Paris
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: My son is in college, and he's struggling; his grades are poor, his classroom attendance is awful, and it seems he's spending too much time drinking, having sex, and being irresponsible. Should I yank my financial support?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The good news: Job growth is through the roof as employers go on a hiring spree. The bad news: they still aren't paying for shiat
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Photoshop this humped bladderwort
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Australians urged to donate tiny little mittens to Koalas with burned paws, even though they're not bears
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
Finally something Americans can truly be proud about is getting the global recognition it deserves. Let's hear it for the Buffalo chicken wing
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Not news: Dolphin swims 9 miles. News: Dolphins fullback Rob Konrad swims 9 miles to shore after falling out of his boat
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh restaurant bans tips, gives servers $35,000 a year, health care, paid vacation, and stock
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
What's better than forging a doctor's note to play hooky? A note from Pope Francis excusing you from Iraq
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Been to HuffPo recently? Enjoy your virus
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Even the penguins are saying WTF
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Radical new gym design aimed at people who want to exercise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 08, 2015
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ebola claims another victim in Ohio
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Six of the most bizarre conspiracy theories about what's really behind plunging world oil prices. The crazy is strong in this one
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Student studying avalanches receives 1-on-1 education
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoliceOne)
 
 
 
Anti-police activist undergoes force on force training scenarios and comes away with "I didn't understand how important compliance was... people need to comply with the orders of law enforcement officers, for their own safety"
source: policeone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fox News anchor wonders how we can tell who the bad guys are if we can't see their skin and tell that they are attractive and successful African-Americans
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Computerized poker player uses a "regretting" routine to optimize its play style, is now unbeatable. Subby's regretting subroutine has somewhat different outcomes
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russia bans driving with an after-market stick shift
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Staten Island Zoo protecting its groundhog from killer mayor
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Bear Grylls has got nothing on this guy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Don't you hate having to follow a slow moving semi-trailer truck... in a snowstorm... for 16 miles... because you rear-ended the truck and got stuck to it... and the impact shut down your vehicle, no horn, lights, heat. Yeah, what a drag
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana lawmakers want to make an ancient sea lily the official state fossil and not Larry Bird
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good: practicing your craft. Great: your craft is saving lives. Not so great: poisoning people so you can practice saving them
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Denver cop arrested for stealing $20,000 worth of TurboTax software in dog food bags and then selling it on eBay for $60,000. Your dog wants an accountant
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Reclusive billionaire In-N-Out heiress comes out to personally cut the ribbon on the chain's 300th restaurant, in Anaheim. Post how your local burger joint is better on the right
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Another major holiday season draws to a close. What was on your table? Difficulty: other than all the liquor, you lushes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Life is like a box of chocolates. Or possibly an artichoke. An onion? Maybe a trumpet? Anyway, here's your daily sense of futility, laid out in a helpful bullet point list
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Customers become violently ill after eating at Chuck. E. Cheese. In unrelated news, there was a norovirus outbreak at Chuck. E. Cheese
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Connecticut Supreme Court rules kids pretty much have to kill someone to be treated like an adult
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
What's a megacryometeor? When it falls from the sky and blasts through your ceiling, it scares the hell out of your cat
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage doll head
source: img0.etsystatic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The armed gunmen were able to access the secure building that houses the Charlie Hebdo offices by the simple expediency of following an employee to her daycare and threatening to kill her child unless she gave them her security code
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
70-year old surfer who wasn't about to let "The Man" and his fascist warnings about possibly tainted water stop HIM from catching some gnarly tubes, has died of a staph infection less than a week later. Darwin apologizes for his tardiness
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
60-year-old Australian man has his car break down in the outback and makes an incredible 28.76 mile trek across the desert in searing heat with almost no water. Unfortunately, he was exactly 30 miles from help
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
One wild and crazy cat found with an arrow in its head
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Nurses suing over mandatory flu shots as hospital discovers perfect method for weeding out people too dumb to be nurses
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Today in science, we prove that grapes are magnetic. And so can you
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
One shot, one missing as drug deal goes bad. Wait, make that 'iPhone deal'
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Court rules that un-vaccinated children can be barred from attending school, ensuring they grow up to be just as smart as their parents
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Submitted only because the phrase "Stinky Brits" is so funny
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
Principal says out loud what every educator thinks in their head, gets out-of-school suspension
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
FBI director decides to speak openly about their evidence of North Korea's involvement in the Sony hack, if only to piss off the remaining "Sony Hack Truthers." All 5 of them
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
French terror suspect was formerly an aspiring rapper; authorities should have realized his radicalization when he started performing under the name "J-Hadi"
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here are the top 10 hipster foods that normal people are completely sick of. Yes, kale, pulled pork and smoothies all made the list
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Endangered African rhinos will be watched over by fleets of UAVs that will shoot Hellfires at poachers. We hope
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's that time of year when senior citizens become trapped in their houses for weeks because of heavy snowfalls. Submitter's elderly neighbor is OK, all her newspapers are out on the porch and he can hear her scratching at the walls again
source: eastwoodadvertiser.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
It took about an hour after the Paris terror attacks for Donald Trump to shoot himself in the foot on Twitter. Who'd a thunk it?
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
While you're sitting at your computer eating Doritos a 53-year-old man is trying for the fourth time to be the first person to reach the the summit of Mount McKinley, alone, in the supremely inhospitable month of January
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Here at Fark.com, we don't tell you not to do dumb things, we just amass huge amounts of information about what's likely to happen if you do. Today's topic: how not to shoot fireworks out of your ass
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
At San Francisco int'l airport, someone essentially wrote "wash me" on the tail of a jet, and 13 airline employees got askeered and refused to work on the plane
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you're going to be interviewed by the BBC, don't insist on going on air dressed as a golliwog. Whatever the hell that is. Golliwog
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
In the early 1900s, there once was a plan to grow Manhattan an appendage by annexing Governors Island so it could mate with the lower harbor
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"A witness heard moaning coming from a car dealership parking lot. He then observed a couple having intercourse on top of a car in the lot"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man charged with drunk driving: "Everyone drives drunk." Also, the dog ate my homework
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
People in 1802 already knew vaccines were toxic and could cause you to sprout cow heads
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
From 2006: Christopher Hitchens on why it's okay to mock religion after controversy surrounding a caricature and cartoon of Muhammad appeared in a French newsmagazine
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Happy birthday to everyone's favourite Olympic gold medallist, hacker, and Nobel Peace prize winner, Kim Jong-un
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC parking tickets drop 92% as a result of police work slowdown. So, leave your car anywhere. It's a virtual free-for-all
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
FCC chair suggests that he doesn't really want to deal with an angry mob of pitchfork-wielding Netflix subscribers
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Burglar sought after breaking into house, pooping on rug and leaving. Police taking incident seriously, saying the rug really held the room together
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Beauty experts claim women can keep their facial skin youthful by shaving it. Just don't leave a landing strip or you'll look like Hitler
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Hawaii breaks 122-year-old record for cold temperature. Tourists seen ordering Mai Tais with no ice
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"The weak spot is pants" says topless driver (w/pics of said person driving topless and you clicked long before I could disappoint you with "sfw")
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Arabiya)
 
 
 
Leading Islamic university makes official statement to Paris thugs: 'You are most certainly not going to meet Allah. Instead, you're going to spend the rest of eternity reenacting a certain scene from the movie "Deliverance" with 71 Jergens.'
source: english.alarabiya.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Farker mr_larry trades $150 worth of gold for a $27 bottle of champagne. All is good in the world
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
The press treated the Kirby Delauter and Charlie Hebdo stories very differently. "There are, it seems, limits to our bravery"
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop the cuteness
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Huff posts the comics
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nike confirms it will sell Marty McFly's self-tying power lace trainers before the end of the year. Whoa. That's heavy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
One police officer killed, another injured in southern Paris shootout
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Ever accidentally hit 'reply all'? Be glad you didn't do it to your entire girls soccer team with a video of yourself 'performing masturbation'
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 505: "Teh Funnay III" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 07, 2015
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you leave a spare key under your welcome mat, you're begging to be robbed. An increasing number of people are still surprised by this
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Say what you will about communism in Cuba, but it has certainly turned the island into a bunch of DIY engineers and inventors
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Twisted sisters: we're not gonna take it anymore
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's largest sand drawing created using Land Rovers. Surprisingly, it's not a penis
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you think you're "too big" to wear a condom, you don't have a leg to stand on
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Judge decides jail is too good for 49-year-old who faked home invasion. Sends her back to high school instead
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what's underwater
source: 7-themes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozarks First)
 
 
 
Branson mom shocked when her baby is born with two front teeth, says, "She's already got one up on most of my neighbors"
source: ozarksfirst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
NewsFlash
 
One of the French terrorist suspects has surrendered. Two suspects are still on the loose and are being hunted by the police (Link & headline updated)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Respected Egyptian TV analyst claims that TV commercials are created by Freemasons sending subliminal messages about their zionist masters secret plot to control the world. In other news, someone made Alex Jones seem sane
source: elderofziyon.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
While its not unusual for some time to pass before the body of an elderly person living alone is discovered, it is a mite odd that it took a YEAR to discover a 94-year old woman's body, since her daughter lived right above her in a duplex
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Hypothermic and emaciated sea turtle rescued on Washington coast is improving ... slowly
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
If you thought your last boyfriend was a jerk, at least he didn't pimp you out on Craigslist to pregnancy fetishists
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
First we checked out the best diners in every state, now let's do each state's most iconic restaurant
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In a change of tactics police lend police brutality protesters a bullhorn
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Cook County sheriff's deputy who attacked a prisoner will get one year to try it again
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Girl has locks of luck after waitress friend saves her by grabbing her hair on her death plunge from bridge
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"There are no grown-ups, everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently" and other things you learn in your 40s
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these old time racers
source: media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Here's a tip for all you bartenders out there: Legal tender is not usually made of two single-sided photocopies of bills stapled together. No, not even in England
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Camden New Journal)
 
 
 
This could be the most English headline ever: "Biscuit thieves arrested while scoffing stolen shortbread in lawn bowling club"
source: camdennewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Girls" actress reveals the secret ingredient in her delicious smoothie recipe: polenta. Wait--not polenta. Placenta
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Can't sleep, clown bikers will eat me
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Look, when Jesus Christ tells you that he wants to do an open-mic stand-up routine with a Bible and a sex toy, you let him
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Bodybuilders get into a forum flame war over how many days they think there are in a week
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Gunman in clown mask robs Subway store, escapes. Police unsure of how many accomplices were in the getaway vehicle
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Inconvenient: Plane with 13 people on it has engine violently fail in midair. Convenient: 12 of the people already have parachutes on because it's a skydiving excursion
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
That transgendered teen who recently committed suicide? Turns out there's a simple and logical explanation: Demonic possession
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
Man described as a "serial sausage thief" appears in court after being linked to dozens of thefts
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
It's cold out. So here's a picture of a cat in the snow
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, the truth: Hoppy beer is awful, it's making people hate beer, and "craft brewers" need to stop making it now
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Not everyone gets to see their name on a check for $975 million. Even fewer people reject it
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Either this is the luckiest woman alive or Final Destination 7 has begun shooting in Brazil
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Man says a gang told him to bring a gun and drugs to a police station to test police security, and the results weren't as bad as you might expect. Nice mugshot included in the article as well
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Have an order of eggs and home fries while you check out the best diners in every state. Bonus: Kentucky's is Drew's Saturday morning hangout
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
New Year's bonfire party are always fun. Until somebody breaks out a machete
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Website holds competition for snarky, funny descriptions of Alabama, releases only 15 because Mississippi
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Only in Florida can you live at "Eat A$$" and have a legal drivers license
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Turns out higher CO2 is creating the largest crop yields ever seen
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"40-year-old Ben Siegel put a bearded dragon into his mouth and began to strike employees with it...Siegel then reportedly threw the lizard into the air and swung it around several times, said a Broward Sheriff's Office arrest report"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Aaaaannnnd it's time for another Fark pro-tip: Don't put 6.5 inch eels in your mouth, otherwise they do not-so-fun shiat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Introducing the Stop the Birth Rate Decline Bra. Stay weird, Japan
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fine British beef dinner
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
France raises terror alert level to "zut alors" after masked gunmen kill 12, wound seven more at offices of French newspaper famous for publishing the "bombhead Mohammed" cartoon
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Apparently CBS newsman Steve Kroft found a satisfying way to fill 60 minutes
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Federal weather employee charged with selling Obama weather machine secrets to Chinese
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
CDC reports more middle-age, white men die from binge drinking than college students. Yeah, right, like Ebola only spreads by direct contact to infected bodily fluids too
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Stop the presses: McDonald's has run out of french fries in Venezuela
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
File this under Good To Know as temperatures across North America hit arctic lows today: If you have frost or ice on your windshield, don't throw hot water on it unless you don't want a windshield anymore. We're looking at you, Georgia. As usual
source: thevane.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
LG launches a fridge WITHIN a fridge, so you can keep you food cool, while you are keeping your food cool. Dawg
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 06, 2015
(BBC)
 
 
 
General Carton de Wiart served in the Boer War, WW1 and WW2, was shot in the face, lost an eye, was shot through the skull, hip, leg, ankle and ear. He was severely wounded on eight occasions and mentioned in despatches six times. Ouch
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DCist)
 
 
 
Cute alert: Bao Bao the National Zoo's giant panda cub is enjoying her first snowfall rolling around
source: dcist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man survives after suicide attempts with a spatula, a knife, and a gun. Wait, a spatula?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Children of all ages* can enjoy the Disney Cruise [*children aged 4 months not accepted on the Disney Cruise. You will be turned away if you bring an infant. Sorry that's not displayed anywhere and not really a rule]
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Twitter saves a man stranded on the toilet on a Virgin Train who ran out of toilet tissue
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Forty-one years have passed since I wrote my note but I should have known this right from the start
source: notednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Dry January a scheme that challenges drinkers to abstain from alcohol for the first month of the year is growing in popularity, as people make good on their hungover promises. Right, good luck with that
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italian bridge collapses ten decades after construction. Excuse me, did I say "decades"? I meant "days"
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ogre's bounce house
source: 38.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geek.com)
 
 
 
You guys want to see Bill Gates drink poo water?
source: geek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
So there you were, thinking that the Mexican drug cartels were completely heartless
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
That South Carolina man who savagely beat his uncle after he found the man sexually assaulting his girlfriend? He won't be charged with a crime
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOX Las Cruces)
 
 
 
Active shooter reported at William Beaumont Army Medical Center
source: kfoxtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man wearing shirt that says "Seriously, I have drugs" is arrested for having drugs
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Heavy Metal causes premature aging say scientists. And you thought it was just the drugs and alcohol that made Ozzy look like that
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Toyota really, really, REALLY wants you to PLEASE buy its new hydrogen fuel-cell vehicle that, quite frankly, ain't too bad looking
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Magazine)
 
 
 
Sony upgrading the Walkman. Calm down, hipsters, they're just making it an iPod. Oh, and it costs $1,200
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
University makes video gaming an official sport, will offer students gaming scholarships
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
14-year-old girl discovers that if a deputy shows up to your home because of a dispute and leaves the keys in his patrol car, that does not mean you're free to take it for a ride
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
"Find My iPhone" works on trains, thieves learn
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RYOT.org)
 
 
 
Well the first gray wolf seen in the Grand Canyon since 1939 was nice while she lasted. Thanks, coyote hunter
source: ryot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Tweeter: "Think I hit a cyclist but I'm late for work so didn't stop lol." Employer: "You won't be late tomorrow because you're fired." Police: "We'd like a word as well." Twit: "It was only a joke"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lone man on the beach
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Americans United)
 
 
 
Axis of Evil... in... Space
source: au.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
Virginia ex-governor given 2 year, all-expenses paid severance package
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
AirAsia flight QZ8501 conspiracy theories, including: Illuminati-sponsored government KGB aliens hijacked it in the Bermuda triangle as part of a Zionist plot
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
More Americans dying of dysentery than ever before
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate blogger fires first shot in the "Why the Boston Bomber trial means more to me than it does to you, even though I wasn't affected, either" war of 2015
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fairfax county police officer who shot and killed a man 16 months ago wants you to know he just remembered the guy had a loaded gun nearby. Actually, multiple guns. Yeah, multiple guns and...and...he was like, all waving them around and stuff
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
We're sorry, but the military base is now closed. If you would like to schedule a time to attack, please press 1 now, otherwise, our normal office hours are 8am to 530pm, have a nice day
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
County Council member Kirby Delauter forbids news outlets to print the name Kirby Delauter without the permission of Kirby Delauter
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Nonpareil)
 
 
 
"I don't think they ate the badger"
source: nonpareilonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Kurdish troops seize Kobane from IS, finally giving them control over exports of Teen Spirit
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Store offers all the frozen yogurt that will fit in a cup for $5, college girls say "Challenge accepted"
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Q: How do you stuff the corpse of the most famous tortoise in the world? A: Very slowly
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
National guardsman arrested for carjacking taxi, causing multiple accidents, and was said to be acting 'like a robot,' although apparently less of the Terminator type and more of the "Florida bot"
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Oh come on investors, this former Morgan Stanley employee says he's "extremely sorry" for stealing and posting 900 clients' data on the Internet
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Jersey sleeps a little easier today. The Garden State breast pump thief has been nipped in the bud
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News Daily)
 
 
 
Daimler's self-driving concept car turns into living room, which is kind of what everyone's worried about
source: newsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
"I am dog. Why is the train being delayed, I'm packed and ready to go?"
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not many people get the chance to drink beer and roast marshmallows in an active volcano with temps up to 2000F, but this guy is living the dream
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The 4th of July comes early this year as a fireworks factory explodes in Colombia. Oooooohh. Aaaaaaaah
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
ISIS police chief loses his head over recent policing efforts, and he was pretty pissed too
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
New Mexico DOT officials are frustrated because drivers keep messing up the paint on their new overpass. So stop crashing, please
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today in "Two words we did not ever need to see juxtaposed": Sharpton's Viagra
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you think it's awkward to shake somebody's hand when you meet them for the first time, just be glad you don't have to touch noses and inhale their breath
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This is Happy Three Kings Day for Latinos. Just tell your boss that you're Latino when you call in this morning
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man brings samurai sword to a stun gun fight
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China: 'Made in China' labels dropped to boost sales
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
14 Florida counties implement a Scorched Earth policy to avoid marrying same-sex couples
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What happens when your meme dies? Here comes the science
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Irish anti-gay group launches "Sounds of Sodomy" campaign. Welsh chapter expected to alter the slogan to "Silence of the Lambs"
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Former acting director of cybersecurity at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for child pornography charges. Guess he wasn't very good at his job
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Turns out the Easter Island inhabitants didn't resort to cannibalism after cutting down all the trees. Instead Europeans gave them all syphilis. Don't know what's worse
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Bill Clinton's phone numbers come up 21 times in the little black book of Prince Andrew's alleged procurer of jailbait. This is bad news for Hillary, good news for Elizabeth Warren
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
New Mexico man told $500,000 winning lottery ticket is a misprint, so he gets nothing. Better call Saul
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: The innocuous time traveler
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Study shows that women who want to quit smoking should wait until right before their period to quit, which should make for a fun week
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
SpaceX Falcon 9 launch scrubbed again due to malfunction, trying again Friday. For bonus points, will attempt to land the first ever "reusable rocket" on an ocean platform
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
There are bad ideas. There are really bad ideas. And then there is this
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Next time when stealing the Baby Jesus from a church make sure there's no surveillance camera recording you
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett)
 
 
 
Caption this begging coach and dismissive referee
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Free beer in Denver. It might be a little warm though
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Doe, a deer, a wounded deer; Ray, a hunter with a bow; Me, the guy who found the link; Far, the distance to a doc; So, now karma got its wish; Laugh, I hope you will with me; Tee-he-e-e-e-e-e; Dad, the one who was attacked; which brings us back to DOH
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Sorry about the weather, Midwest. Three-minute escape to the left. "Warm" suggestions to the right
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Girl Scouts reveal new cookie flavors for 2015
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 05, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The most effective way to avoid attending DUI class is to not drive drunk. I don't know the second best, but it's probably not by stabbing another attendee
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
King Abdullah abdicates throne
source: jerusalemonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
If you've been hoping to find a job as a giant monkey impersonator protecting Indian politicians, I have some bad news for you
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A Minnesota man who collected $168,000 in food stamps and other public assistance, while living on his $1.2 million yacht, has been sentenced for fraud
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father-of-five becomes "a social outcast and unable to get a job" after getting DIY facial tattoo using printer ink while drunk. I would say cry me a river, but it appears he already is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
"Give me a break Give me a break Break me off a piece of that Red Bean Sandwich-flavored Kit Kat bar"
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Cyclist has bike stolen. Fark: from police station lobby when he was reporting a stolen iPhone
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Fat but fit" really is a thing, as long as by "thing" you mean "eventually kills you"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
That woman who failed to get out of an unlocked closet over the holidays had successfully escaped a mental-health facility and the police in her recent past (w/ before and now photos)
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: No ads, in my TotalFark? It's more likely than you think
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop the future of warfare
source: farm9.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
Woman charged with smuggling handgun into hoosegow in hooha
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
CYA
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Two men accused of stealing thousands of dollars in Crest tooth-whitening strips, yet they refuse to smile for the camera in their mugshots
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Deer season becomes bear season for hunter in tree stand
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → D V D A
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Here's a belt for when your fatty fatness gets fatter, fatty
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent Journal Review)
 
 
 
Ziplock bags let you pass through Florida DUI checkpoints unmolested. They also can hold ice for your cocktails
source: ijreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you're going to try to take over an entire nation, even a small one, you might want to get more than 12 guys. Just saying
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Great news You can now buy a barrel for only $50. Also, it has crude oil in it
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Two-year-old rescued from washing machine, presumably after it was discovered she was dry clean only
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leather bag with someone interesting
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
This is what happens when your tires are 1.5 psi low, or when you drive like an idiot (not safe for work language)
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contests
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Your job won't exist in a decade. Cheers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Hybrid "Ketchup 'n' Fries" plant cuts out the middleplant
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook