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Sun January 04, 2015
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The War on Fun continues as cities across the Midwest ban sledding
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Germany seeks non-aggression pact with Russia. This is not a repeat
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Remember that fire spreading towards the radioactive waste dump near St. Louis? The EPA hopes to have a remediation plan ready for public comment by 2017, in time for a new administration to put off implementation
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"You take too long to eat lunch, we will fine you some money"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Solent green ship grounding believed to be intentional; it was PEOPLE
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mad scientist
source: fun-world.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
🍕🍇🍦🍴🍺 (⭗ᵥ⭗)
source: lacarmina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Only four days into 2015, and I think we already have the creepiest criminal of the year. Perp's nickname, strangely is "Eyeball"
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"We are now seeing dangerous effects worldwide, even as we approach a rise of only 1 degree Celsius. The evidence is mounting that scientists have underpredicted the threat." Well, NOW you tell us
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
There's nothing but 100 foot cliffs on either side of that section of the Appalachian Trail, but it's like the lost hiker vanished into thin air
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Slow news day much?
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The U.S. braces itself for a wave of deadly cold. So we have that to look forward to
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
470: the number of calories in 50 Chicken McNuggets, or the weight of the person who would eat 50 chicken McNuggets?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Real Christmas trees are "like catnip" to lions. With AWW pictures from Cambridgeshire zoo
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Pope Francis announces his starting lineup of fifteen Cardinals, virtually guaranteeing they'll clinch the NLDS this year
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Because nothing enhances a visit to your local brewpub to enjoy a craft beer quite like circus clowns
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
They crash their cars day and night. You tow their vehicles to your lot. It's not your job to see if anyone is still inside those vehicles
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
NYC officers decide to take their commissioner's request and behave with respect and maturity at the funeral for slain officer Wenjian Liu. Hah, just kidding
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big blue barrel
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Stinking drunk Brooklyn man tries clean escape on street sweeper machine but gets mopped up by police instead
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Caption these vintage professional wrestlers
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Captain, that's not how you parallel park a car ferry"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
America is being destroyed by: A) Self-serving politicians; B) Global Warming; C) Fast food restaurants
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Ever worry that your special snowflake may get hurt playing soccer? Why not just wrap them in bubble wrap?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If there's one thing this story proves, it's that Germans love David Hasselhoff. And trying to level Berlin
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Aw, nuts
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Rancher to subdivide his unpolluted, pristine 40,000 acres of land for development, construction of new shopping centers, subdivisions for millions of dollars. What? He's selling it to the state to preserve it for future generations? Never mind
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Here's a look at the future of what it will be like getting arrested
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Woman makes New Year's resolution to laugh and have an orgasm every day. Subby would have tried this, but there are only enough episodes of The Golden Girls to make it through half a year
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you go into the National Institutes of Health building don't bother trying to get a drink at the bar there. It's just a prop set up by scientists trying to determine if taking a pill will make you want to drink less
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
I see that judgmental look on your face. Oh, what? Like you never attacked the machete-wielding security guard at the dildo store before? Yeah, right
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you're a resident of Massachusetts, you can now use your Air Jordans in lieu of bail money
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this desert scene
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: First Cars
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Ladies and Gentlemen of Fark, I present to you the Sinkolet: A sink and a toilet fused into one magnificent piece of bathroom furniture
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Bronx hipsters proclaim subway OVER, are now into old-timey railroads open to members of the public who own personal railcars, such as culinary adventurer Baron Ambrosia
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Icing likely to blame for Air Asia plane's frosty demise, sprinkles wreckage across the sea bed
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"Controlling time is a way for the state to manifest its power. No longer does the sun dictate what time it is: the government does instead"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
The Smithsonian has put over 40,000 pieces of art - from Asia to America and from the Neolithic to the present - on the web for you to check out. For free
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Woman stuck in chimney. California flue season officially begins
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 03, 2015
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Your move, Cooties
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Four year old wants to see in the dark. Does he: A) turn on a flashlight; B) turn on the bedroom light; C) light some paper on fire, drop said paper on the ground, and start a massive house fire?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLNS Lansing)
 
 
 
Going home for the holidays is a great time to bond with your mother and then drunkenly attack her with a stapler
source: wlns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Irrefutable photographic evidence that Bigfoot exists after a Florida man stumbled upon the beast taking a relaxing bath in a swamp
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Oil tycoon: Look, when I agreed to a billion-dollar divorce settlement with my wife, I was worth $19 billion. Now that falling oil prices have cut my fortune in half, I think we can all agree that my new poverty does not permit such extravagance
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop ingredient: a banana
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everyday Health)
 
 
 
Fake food fraud up by 60%. Findings found fish can be fatally faked. Not faux fish though
source: everydayhealth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
You make one bionic arm for a one-armed 3 year old and suddenly you're besieged by requests from every one-armed person in the world to make them one, too
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey did anybody notice that Chicken Noodle News/The Missing Plane Network/-4,600/whatever they are this week changed their website format? THIS FIXES EVERYTHING
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop who (or what) these people are running with
source: farm9.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Hiking pro tip: A liter of water and a bag of trail mix is not considered adequate equipment if you are trying to summit 10,000+ feet mountains in Mexico
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
NYPD Commissioner William Bratton has to send cops a memo reminding them to act like decent human beings at funerals
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
New Russian army battle robots move one step closer to deployment, are now being programmed to say "Your move, creep" in Ukrainian
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman with "invisible disability" abused by "parking lot vigilantes." Anyone remember that issue of Fantastic Four?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You might be a hipster if you only wear tough, durable workman's clothing that you have to compost when you're done using it
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you have waaayy too much time on your hands, you can train a squirrel to compete in the rodent version of the Grand National steeplechase. Fortunately, there are lots of people in the world with too much time on their hands
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Seattle is passé, Frisco is old, so the hot new Liberal mecca is ... Medellín, Colombia
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Grand Canyon turns into a rare winter wonderland for New Year's Day
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A "brave little girl" who survived a deadly plane crash in remote eastern Kentucky on Friday walked away from the wreckage to seek help at a stranger's doorstep
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
"Sometimes you have the world's largest Gummy Bear, some liquid nitrogen, and a 12-gauge shotgun all in the same place at the same time, and you're just crazy enough to see what happens when you combine the three"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC steps up to the plate and pays £130K medical bill of Brit couple stranded in U.S. after baby born prematurely
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's 'Only In Alaska' headline: "Man accused of drunken driving escapes by snowmachine"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Not news: Man drives for two hours through Brazil's jungle on his motorcycle. Still not news: With a 12-inch knife. Fark: Stuck in his head
source: lanesplitter.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SafeBee)
 
 
 
Wear flip flops in the shower, move away from the guy doing sit-ups who is coughing up a lung, and don't touch your face if you want to avoid getting sick at the gym when you have to be there in 26 minutes
source: safebee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Rest easy, Oregon's serial hair cutter has finally been clipped
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man successfully prospects for diamonds. Difficulty: NYC jewelry store
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Police shoot your son who was armed (and swung at them) with a samurai sword? That's a federal lawsuit seeking more than $2 million in damages
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's time for a Photoshop tennis match, literally
source: procorm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Iowa woman faces thirty days in jail after sending a box of cow poop to her neighbors because she was upset they kept complaining about her barking dog
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
One lucky cat begins his New Year by being reunited with his person - after being missing for over seven years - just in time for a very happy Caturday
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
You are breaking the sacred code of pizza delivery drivers if you call police to report underaged drinking at the home of your last stop
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The low gas prices are great. Unless you live in rural Alaska where the price is locked in based on how much oil cost last summer
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monroe News)
 
 
 
"Shoplifter report, chief. He got on a bus." "Perfect. Send the helicopter"
source: monroenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It took seven days, but a judge decided John Hinckley will not be charged with murdering James Brady
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Snowmobilers dig out a moose buried after an avalanche. "That kind of karma is something we don't pass up"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Man threatens to blow up a strip club because the manager had the audacity to try and take away his beer
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man goes into home to meet a young lady. Comes out an awesome extra for The Walking Dead. With awesome zombie mugshot
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Baby born on January 1 won't have too much trouble remembering her birthday. Especially since both her parents share it
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A huge hole has opened up near the Sun's South pole with winds reaching 500 miles per second. This is not an astronomical fart joke
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Years of painstaking scientific research have finally determined one of the main causes of cancer: Bad luck
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 02, 2015
(Honolulu Star Advertiser)
 
 
 
Blizzard warning for Hawaii, 120 mph winds, feet-deep snow drifts, dogs and cats, living together
source: staradvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
And now, here's the first Fark Weird News Quiz of 2015. Just as difficult as the ones from 2014, but shinier
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Judge orders man not to drink alcohol after he made several 999 calls claiming to be Nicki Minaj, and that a ghost was haunting him
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beloit Daily News)
 
 
 
35 cars caught in New Hampshire pileups. That's, what, half the cars in the state, right?
source: beloitdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your special-needs child needs to be with you on a flight, perhaps you shouldn't buy her a ticket in coach while you and your husband sit in first class
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
What's worse than being accused of a drunk driving and causing a fatal car accident? This mugshot
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested for driving drunk. On the 210 Freeway. In a golf cart
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
News: Cyber-terrorists affiliated with ISIS seize control of a website. Not news: as a result anyone in Britain's West Country had a slightly harder time looking up the timetables for the buses that run there
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flaming inferno
source: cdn4.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Artist who made little houses for ants because he thought they needed a place to live moves on to miniature sculptures inside needle eyes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
"Guy Trashes 'Spiritual' Girlfriend's Car After Granny Dildo Sex Prophecy." This is exactly why we have a Florida tag, folks
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Journal)
 
 
 
US training of Afghan Army improves as the Afghans are now also capable of wiping out wedding parties
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Double D*ck Dude writes tell-all memoir of what it's like to live with penis penis
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turkish Weekly)
 
 
 
Refugees upset to be dropped off in rural Sweden armed with Allen wrenches, and told to "Build your own city"
source: turkishweekly.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In a reflection of just how bad the job market is right now, or how many masochists there are in the world, a wanted ad posted by a UK firm for a human paintball tester has drawn more than 10,000 applicants
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Texan has Alaskan sized anger over stolen Rhode Island sized home
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
Rule 1: When committing armed robbery, don't take a taxi
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Man unhappy with weak fireworks decides to make his own, promptly blows off his hand
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Obama to ban exports of Katy Perry CDs to North Korea
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Korea uses disabled or homeless people as slaves to harvest sea salt. No, the other Korea
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a husband scorned after a small penis joke from his wife
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Good news if you own property in Portland. The previous "cumbersome" tree code has been replaced by a "streamlined" 100-page version. You now need a permit to plant, trim, cut down, and probably pick an apple from a tree
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Former Blackwater CEO is embroiled in an epic lawsuit--not over the murder of Iraq civilians by his contractors, or terrorizing residents of New Orleans after Katrina, but with a guy developing comic books to revive the Blackwater "brand"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Bring-your-son-to-crime-spree day ends with a roadside shootout in West Virginia, two bodies in the back of a pickup, and a mugshot that resembles Wil Wheaton in anaphylactic shock
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Man calls the police and asks them to supervise a spanking of his daughters. "Watching a parent discipline their child is something that's done only when a deputy has no other calls to handle"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Most metal detector users are happy to find a few coins, quarters and dimes if they're lucky. This guy found over 5000 coins dating from the 10th century in a lead bucket
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
19-year-old woman wakes up during brain surgery and chats with doctors about her cats
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
When you're moving out of a rental house and the "cleaning lady" stops by, please contact the landlord before you let her in
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lamp starer
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Woman tried to crawl under moving train ... because it was moving too slow. You can imagine this didn't end well
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Today's FARK-Ready headline: "Man faces assault charges in Ho Hum Motel incident." Subby always stays at the Meh-Hotel, where they always leave the ice machine unlocked
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It's your standard slacker career path: knock around a bit, end up as a surfing instructor in Costa Rica, hear "god's call" to go to Iraq to join the Peshmerga and fight ISIS in Syria, you know, the usual
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you feel the need to get drunk and crash into something, make sure it's not a police station
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The bulletproof hats are discreet, with no real difference between them and the look of a fitted baseball cap...except for that big ass bulletproof logo on the side
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Untold millions of Americans could be getting a not-so-nice Obamacare surprise in their taxes this year
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Welcome to Burger King. May I take your order? Yes, I need 4,500 Whoppers and a small Diet Coke please
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Durham, NC Bakery owner Bob Grasso arrested for selling namesake brownies
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore City Paper)
 
 
 
Showing they have at least a passing familiarity with the concept of "journalistic integrity," Baltimore Fox News affiliate fires the reporter and cameraman who edited video of a rally to falsely claim the demonstrators were chanting "kill a cop"
source: citypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
If your IV hydration drip to "cure" your hangover costs $130 it might just be cheaper not to drink
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In Scandalous Controversy, Prince denies underage sex allegations. It may be A Sign O' The Times, but it's scarcely N.E.W.S
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS DC)
 
 
 
Air Asia bodies found still buckled in their seats, which means they knew they were going to crash and died before they could unbuckle
source: washington.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Funeral held in Paris for co-founder of the nudist movement. Dinner to be held following the service, attire optional
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Those juice "detoxes" and body cleanses are about as real as your gluten intolerance
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Naked man running on interstate in 38 degree weather stated he wanted to go to heaven. Showing unusual restraint, California police did not grant his wish
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
16 California fire fighters accused of shooting a sex tape on a fire engine. Pizza deliverers and pool boys: "Been there. Done that"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Good news: The number of celebratory gunshots to ring in the New Year reported to Phoenix police was down by 22 percent compared to last year. Bad news: Only 206 people reported gun shots this year
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Go home pub. You're drunk
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Cops bust into extended stay hotel room to stop knife-wielding shirtless man strangling girlfriend. Come for the "Told You I Was Hardcore" mugshot, stay for comments from probable relatives below
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
OpSec rules: DON'T reveal deployment details. DON'T reveal troop details. DO turn off geo-tagging for Twitter
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handyfish
source: media.mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Journal)
 
 
 
"Smoking is being harder to do," but being easier than English
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
If these reports are true, Iraq is about to be an even bloodier mess than before
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Hitchhiker arraigned for executing couple who gave him a lift on Christmas Eve reveals giant balls at arraignment: "I would like to have a different ending to this other than my death, because I don't like this situation"
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There are a handful of things you should be doing to improve your bond with your dog, no peanut butter required
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
You might be a redneck if your pregnant wife goes into labor, and instead of going to the hospital you go to Bass Pro Shop
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you're transporting salmon by truck, always make sure the lox are secure
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Remember that heartwarming story about that panhandler who was given $100 and then used it to buy food for his fellow homeless? Yeah, about that
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Note to prosecutors: If you quote "Dixie" in your closing arguments for a case against a black man, the judge may throw out the conviction
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good news, Chicagoans: the murder rate is down. The bad news: it's because your aim is terrible
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 2015. We must now consider the entrants to the Eurovision of trees. Without the crappy music, thankfully
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVQ Billings)
 
 
 
Police officer's baby born at the time of his badge number
source: ktvq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
It's like a thousand spoons when all you need is some rain
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Man strips naked and tries out a few dog beds at a CVS. No steak for you, dude
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Earlier, the monitoring was done only about the construction of toilets, but now the actual use of toilets will be ascertained on a sustained basis"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the windows of the aircraft you'll see Salt Lake City. And if you look in seat 2 A you might just see babby coming out
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Airport '77
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Good luck with that, Jonathan
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 01, 2015
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words. Some of these will leave you speechless
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
He brings a gun, you use your knife. THAT'S the Sushi Chef way
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Good news, France: This New Years' Eve, you only set 940 cars on fire....12 per cent less than the 1,067 set aflame last year
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
NewsFlash
 
Former Governor of New York Mario Cuomo dead at age 82
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photographer's behind-the-scenes pics of marching bands reminds me of this one time... at band camp
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Photoshop this perched kitty
source: media.mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Apparently thinking it's still the 1950s, the hosts of Fox & Friends started the New Year by telling women that they should "cater" to their man by stroking his ego, cooking him meals, and massaging his feet
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tips on what to do with your leftover champagne. Dude, leftover champagne? What the hell's that?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Mom loses her head after telling her son to do his chores
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
If you can rise above politics, the White House's 2014 photo yearbook has some of the best, most artistic photography of the year
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Looks like the courthouse needs more closets for people to hide in
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this brass reel
source: mhackney.zenfolio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Here is a tale about Ricky the Bear, a popular mascot at an ice cream parlor in which some people have a problem with him being there
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
So, you have the neighbor from hell. What to do? How about filming every single move he made and then getting arrested for stalking? Oh, and add in annoying the ever-loving crap out of the DA, too
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Third rock from the thumb
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's a new year, so for one day can all you poltab warriors just relax and eat some cabbage? -- Thanks, Drew
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Music Business Worldwide)
 
 
 
Ouch: Total album sales in the US are now almost two-thirds smaller than they were a decade ago
source: musicbusinessworldwide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Eighty-six images from 2014 that were totally fake. You know, pixels and all. With 2015 bonus of not being a slideshow
source: factually.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Couple decides to ignore signs warning not to leave hiking trail near ice caves, ends up having to outrun avalanche of Darwin
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
BANG.... Oh, sorry, let me help you h - BANG - dang it, that keeps happening
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
*cough* Bullshiat *cough*
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman faces fine for rescuing runaway pig. Pig still angry its trip to market was disturbed by crazy woman
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
2015 is the year we'll celebrate Waterloo, dental floss, Frank Sinatra and The Lonely Goatherd. Sounds like one party after another
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Temperature in Los Angeles doesn't reach 60 degrees for the first time in 375 days. Residents turn on their faux rock electric fireplaces for heat
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Coast Guard intercepts a load of pot with a street value greater than the national debt
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Hungover? No problem, just teach the kids how to make a Bloody Mary
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man puts three Brazilian tarantulas in his mouth. Why yes, that is a lot of tarantulas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Coroner reports that capitalism killed those 36 people in China
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man breaks Guinness record for opening most bottles of champagne. With a saber. Which, unsurprisingly, is called 'sabering' champagne
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Tooth removal, Alabama style
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man eating tiger gets 13 years in prison
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What can you do with massive, abandoned oil rigs? Sink them and turn them into artificial reefs. And with crude selling for like $5 a barrel, the Gulf Of Mexico could soon be just one massive manmade reef (awesome pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spending the winter as a ski patrol member in Colorado is cool until you realize 'attacked by moose' is a surprisingly frequent workplace injury
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Ever wonder where that turn signal lever ended up when you wrecked your T-bird in 1963?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Play-Doh decides to replace controversial phallic toy extruders. Toy collectors race to snatch them up
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Wasn't hard to determine that man stealing from Walmart was a sheriff. He was in uniform (Florida tag trumps Followup)
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
New F-35 stealth jet "will not be able to fire its guns until 2019" as its bid to become the most useless warplane in history continues
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Lost sheep found wandering around at Walgreens. Police currently trying to contact their owner, a Mrs. B. Peep, to let her know where to find them
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
32-year-old high school English teacher who boasted on her school's website that "The classroom is one of my many loves" arrested for loving not wisely
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat hat
source: shop.sochionline2014.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Florida couple trapped in unlocked closet for two days are arrested for trespassing, stupidity
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Latest makeup trend in Japan: red, baggy undereyes and a sickly face. "This look gives off the unapproachable, damsel in distress vibe that makes people want to protect them"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Man takes father-son bonding to a whole new level by calling in a bomb threat to a hospital as a diversion and helping his son pull off the armed robbery of a gas station
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
All the good gangsta names were taken
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Even if you fix the window screen you busted out while breaking in to a house, return everything you took and apologize for everything you did, that won't impress the victims or police and you are still going to jail
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The San Diego Zoo debuts an ugly-ass four day old baby gorilla
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Hospitals have strict rules about who gets your medical records, but your wallet, purse, and iPad can be claimed by random other patients as they check out
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Amelia Earhart disappearance "researcher" is named Discovery Person of the Year 2014 for his perseverance through disappointment on 11 paid tropical island vacations
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 504: "Potent Potables 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 31, 2014
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man who survived two nights by building a snow cave and gathering wood to start a small fire said he "had little to drink"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Spear fishing in Australia ends about the way everyone who lives outside of Australia thinks it would
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
University releases list of words and phrases that should be banned from the English language
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Columbian)
 
 
 
Six-vehicle crash releases 50 to 60 live chickens onto freeway. Witnesses describe the scene as poultry in motion
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
5% alcohol wine infused ice cream. Perfect for your next break up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What if your doctor told you that your cognitive performance and memory were being eroded by a disease that could be cured easily and for free? Would you want him to cure you? Yes, I thought so -- now throw away your smart phone
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Welcome to Costco. I love you"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying matador
source: img.s-msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
French Laundry taken to the cleaners
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Thieves target catalytic converters, authorities promise exhaustive search
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
Kansas schools are sued for teaching science
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Giant millipedes in my vagina? It's more likely than you think
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Palestine announces plans to join International Criminal Court, but not to, like, bring war crime charges against Israel or anything like that. Well, OK, not *just* for that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this overachieving dog
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Professor reveals that most Christmas carols don't mean what you think they do. Scrooge
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Bipolar woman tries and fails to kill herself, so her husband goes to the hospital and finishes the job
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
While you slept, Obama slipped five more prisoners out of Gitmo and shipped them to Kazakhstan. Very nice
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LinkedIn)
 
 
 
I've used LinkedIn to connect all your Fark accounts to your place of employment. If you're not interested, click here to disable-- Drew
source: mnftiu.cc   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Now that the Christmas Season is over we can all look forward to the Head Lice Season
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
While you toil away at your desk pondering the missteps that allowed you to be enslaved in a corporate dungeon, keep in mind that right now there is somebody getting paid to legally sample and review marijuana strains
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You think your child's tantrum was bad? Did he take out an entire Dollar General store?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
World's oldest conjoined twins turn 63, are hoping this year someone thought to get those hot young Hensel twins to strip for them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC police apologize for mistakenly telling woman they killed her son, say they were just trying to prepare her for when they do
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
When the story ends with "Police jokingly say there's a warrant out for the raccoon's arrest," you know the rest is going to be interesting
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Navy mashes up Terminator and Airwolf with their new drone
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
The U.S. has 30 national emergencies currently in effect - including one from the Iran Hostage Crisis
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
"Hello, 911. What is your emergency?" "Do you guys know the Playstation Network is offline?"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pajama bottoms somewhere unexpected
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Dog left on cold, rainy tarmac by United Airlines workers for over an hour, says that was still preferable to actually flying United
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Comcast: Sorry, that 12-month promotion you signed up for never existed, and we're raising your rate after 3 months. What's that, you have a recording of the original sales pitch? Fark you anyway
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The bad news about Australia is that all the wildlife is capable of killing you. The good thing is that wine is cheaper than water
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
McDonald's opens a new "healthy options" cafe with no fanfare
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
White Castle is debuting a veggie slider. Instead of belly bombers they should just call them salad shooters
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
People OUTRAGED that Target's new ads don't portray Annie as a little black girl, like she's supposed to be
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYPD refuses to make revenue-generating arrests in tiff with DeBlasio, and accidentally become more popular than they'd ever been
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Say, remember when people used to ingest arsenic as a health supplement? Me neither
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 30, 2014
(WTFark)
 
 
 
Ever thought about sticking your dick in one of those Play-Doh fun factories? Well, this here's the next best thing
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Good Guy with a Gun prevents shooting in a church
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Woman finds rolls of coins in old boxes left in home by her parents. Naturally, this would require a call to the bomb squad
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Blind Seattle couple kicked off of bus because the disabled section was full. They definitely didn't see that coming
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Horseshoe, rabbit's foot, your mother beaten to death at the suggestion of an occultist...what's your secret to good luck this year?
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 4 San Antonio)
 
 
 
San Antonio police blow up a box of Christmas ornaments. The War on Christmas™ is real, sheeple
source: news4sanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this awesome snow fort
source: cs7050.vk.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Pubs and bars go the way of Dodo bird and compact discs. Coming up next: Fark party on Skype. Squirrel mask not mandatory
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
"I don't know what a cop's normal Saturday or Sunday at work is like, but I doubt it involves them interviewing a naked guy on a beach with a bunch of naked people standing around them" (Not safe for work)
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Officials believe they know the cause of a wall collapsing under the weight of thousands of tons of salt. Perhaps it was the thousands of tons of salt
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You suspect it was your elderly neighbor who scratched your new car, so you C) knock her down and repeatedly run her over
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
An escaped llama sparks a 6 hour chase
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Woman fatally shot by two-year-old purse snatcher
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: It's New Year's Eve, not New Year's Steve
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
Argentinian authorities warn of a werewolf on the loose, ask residents to use the lox on their doors
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoPville)
 
 
 
Wear a skirt on the DC Metro's silver line recently? Might wanna check out xhamster
source: popville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deviant Art)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ship sailing away
source: th06.deviantart.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fond du Lac Reporter)
 
 
 
Smokers trying to quit will receive $80 in gift cards which will come in handy to pay off the hospital bills from all the Chantix-induced suicide attempts
source: fdlreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sure first invade Mars with lettuce, next thing you know we'll be squirting them with Thousand Islands dressing
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
City orders church to shut down glee camp over zoning violations, rampant slushie attacks
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
'The next time you let your dog poop on our lawn and don't pick it up, I will follow you back to your home, wait until you get inside, take a huge dump on your door step and on the windshield of your car. Love, Annie.'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
He was Hitler's favorite commando. He rescued Mussolini from a mountain fortress and farked Eva Peron. He was, "the most dangerous man in Europe"-until he became a quiet Irish farmer
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This just in: Ebola crisis started by Bat Boy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Man on an 80 mile snowmobile ride to Christmas dinner falls through the ice and then gets stalked by a wolverine during his 30 mile walk in frozen clothes and sub-zero temperatures. So, how was your holiday traffic this year?
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The five reasons you're poor
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Lightning strike kills four Brazilian people
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember how after Sony was hacked the FBI came out and blamed it all on North Korea? Yeah, about that
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The top ten biggest civil rights violations of 2014. BONUS: NOT A SLIDESHOW. So there's one civil right left intact
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Rare forest of coral discovered off the coast of Miami-Dade county. A FOREST, CORAL
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington County Times)
 
 
 
No matter what you've heard, the State Police are not your personal ride service to the convenience store
source: burlingtoncountytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Adult. Breastfeeding. Prostitution ring. That is all
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: Can we have a best-of column to celebrate the end of the year? It would be nice to look back on some of the best fake letters and real advice you've received this year"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Apparently letting your child eat an artery-clogging, calorie-packed, lard-drenched, nutrient void meal from a fast food restaurant right before a test is a bad idea
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Middle Eastern religious radicals cause problems onboard airplane in NYC. Again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Jockey breaks into a woman's apartment, masturbates, breaks into a another apartment, gets shot, and police still have a hard time subduing him. "I would have bet you 100 to 10 that the kid never smoked a joint"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Hey everybody, million-dollar mansions in the Phoenix-area are selling at twice the pace of a year ago, so I guess it means the Great Recession is officially over
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Just in time for Ebola panic to die down, Hong Kong confirms first case of bird flu this season
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Man found dead in luxury spa hot tub. Police suspect foul play after finding carrots and celery in the hot tub with him
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Well looks like we can't see a live possum drop for New Year's now
source: wbtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
If you were under the impression that there is only one way to pronounce "Adidas," go find someone who can help you pick your jaw up off the ground because you are in for a big surprise
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Doctor to patient: Hope you didn't mind, but we celebrated my birthday with a cake during your surgery
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
CIA: Remember those UFO sightings in the '50s and '60s? We confess. It was us
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Elbow Room bar turns into Fist, Feet, Knees and Elbows room after man picks a fight with everyone inside
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know how you've always been told there are 50 different words for snow in the Eskimo language? It's all a lie. There isn't even a single language known as 'Eskimo.'
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: How Santa spends New Year's Eve
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
You know you haven't really applied yourself in life when cops bust you after positively identifying a roll of toilet paper
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Chipotle apologizes after worker greets NYPD with "hands up, don't shoot" gesture, hopes that the NYPD won't choke any of their employees to death
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Sports headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Geek headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Entertainment headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Politics headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest: Business headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three Daily Mail writers test world's first "contouring" make-up, in an attempt to look like Kim Kardashian and OMG IT TOTALLY WORKS (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It turns out the President of Argentina didn't really adopt a boy to break a werewolf's curse. Even though she kind of did
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Greek patience with austerity wearing thin; they say it hasn't helped a single Grecian earn
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
AirAsia takes commanding lead in International Missing Plane Seekers Cup of 2014
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The most unpopular company in America is...not Comcast?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sh*tter's full
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 29, 2014
(Salon)
 
 
 
The biggest villain of 2014 was Bill Maher
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man arrested for domestic assault after choking his wife with a roll of wrapping paper on Christmas. You never have these sorts of problems on Festivus
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hi, I'd like to order a large cheese pizza... hold the machete
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ebola confirmed in Glasgow; London said to be rethinking that Scottish independence thing
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these intrepid travelers
source: gorets-media.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Kale and Brussels Sprouts had a baby together, and it's coming for you
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How bad are race relations in the US? Iran is taking shots at us
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Credibility of man who wanted to kill cops diminished when Google history shows he also intended to kill Sara Palin, Obama, Bill O'Reilly, and the entire Fox "News" Team
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Not guilty? Here, have some court costs. Oh, can't pay your court costs because you don't have a job because your son is dying in the hospital? Here, have some jail time
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Malaysian Insider)
 
 
 
Hmmmm, Air Asia CEO traded a bunch of stock just before the newest plane went missing
source: themalaysianinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Tourist thread. If I were to come to your city, what's some cool architecture/design your city has to offer?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Fix up this rundown street
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
The eleven best media corrections of 2014. Just 11?
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Islamic State has executed 1,878 people in past six months, narrowly edging out Texas
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Everyone in West Fairview, PA plans to get nailed this New Year's Eve
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass fluffy two-week-old baby seal goes for first swim in Antarctica, probably to escape a polar bear (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Friends don't let friends walk drunk
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
Not news: John Daly was charged with driving while intoxicated and with a revoked license following a high speed chase. News: It wasn't in a golf cart
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Charles Krauthammer says America may rue the day "The Interview" was released. "Rue the day?" Who talks like that?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Breeze)
 
 
 
Street racers inspired by "Fast & The Furious" take over the freeway from "Speed" where they end up like the finale of "Monty Python & The Holy Grail"
source: dailybreeze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Small college in Michigan promises to pay the student loans of students who do not make at least $37,000 a year at their jobs. Finally a reason to major in philosophy
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you're sitting out on the front porch of your trailer at 1:30 a.m. playing Xbox games and for no reason at all a group of men show up and start throwing bottles, cans, and Christmas decorations at you?
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this muscly guy
source: lh6.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Writing a holiday note to your parents is sweet. Writing a holiday note to your parents that reads, "Your house is paid off. Merry Xmas" is awesome
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines of the Week for 12/21 - 12/27. Keep an eye out for the Headline of the Year contests later this morning
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GoFundMe)
 
 
 
Her 21-year-old daughter's trained 'seizure-dog' was killed 12/8/14. Now this family is trying to raise $3,500 to train two other family dogs to be able to detect when the daughter has a seizure and alert others
source: gofundme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Greek Parliament dissolves itself over austerity measures
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Get ready to pay 80 cents a mile to park on I-95 north this morning, D.C. farkers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Something went wong for this thief who tried to rob a Chinese restaurant of its tip jar by ordering egg rolls to distract them
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Malay Mail)
 
 
 
Wreckage of QZ8501 found...according to Twitter
source: themalaymailonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Have you ever heard a bird singing and thought to yourself, "That bird sounds like it's drunk?" Well, chances are, it was drunk
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
If you've ever wondered why raw spaghetti always snaps in more than two pieces, today is your lucky day
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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