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Sun December 28, 2014
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The LA Times' 15 places to visit in 2015 includes such exotic locales as Singapore, Los Cabos, Cuba, and Cleveland, Ohio
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
People under 40 don't have the skills necessary to fix anything
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
← Free coat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Olmec baby
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thug Life)
 
 
 
Not news: car accident with injuries while out driving drunk with your mistress on a Sunday morning. News: While fleeing the scene, you wreck again and try to resist arrest. Fark: you're the Sheriff
source: charlestonthuglife.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Jesus returns
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Daughter shocked, SHOCKED over dismal Christmas "meal" of a piece of bologna, a piece of salami, a bun and some "watery macaroni salad" that was served at father's nursing home, but it still looks better than what subby had (w/pic of meal)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hour)
 
 
 
Man arrested after going into auto body shop lot and locking unlocked cars
source: thehour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Aliens in history
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
What kind of people have 70,000 lights for Christmas decorations? This kind
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Connecticut)
 
 
 
Sandy insurance dispute surges ahead. Apparently insurers screwed customers out of habit, forgetting that FEMA was paying the bills this time
source: connecticut.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The metric system is the world's greatest killer. According to Fox News
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Our long, international nightmare is over: the Playstation network is back online after being taken down by...who the hell knows; let's just blame elves
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Japanese zoo taking overweight penguins on forced marches to walk off their extra pounds. Animals rights activists may have a problem with it, but it's not a black-and-white issue. Unlike the penguins in the photos, which are. And awesome
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Drunks who clog up emergency rooms should be arrested as part of a "zero tolerance" approach to binge drinking, according to doctors
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Begun, the shopping mall wars have
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In Pennsylvania, dying after a truck hits your house and drives through your bedroom is considered "natural causes"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Ice cream seller who used money and booze to persuade teens to attack his competitor now faces a very rocky road
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Some high-end restaurants are paying their employees a livable wage and implementing a "no-tip" policy because most people tip because they "have to" and not because of the service they get. Mr. Pink approves
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Social media users may suffer from paranoia and shame when people find out they lied about hanging out in Southern California with Screech and his entourage, and yes, he had an entourage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
School bans "I Can't Breathe" t-shirts, even if they are worn by opposing teams at a basketball tournament, as one high school learned after being banned from the building. "Anarchy is not welcome in public schools"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Because people farking love honey
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
NY's finest back the mayor in his latest statement
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pope Francis to issue edict stating that climate change is no bull. This should settle the debate once and for all, right? Right?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
A peek inside the lives of Bureau 121, North Korea's top cyber warriors. Sadly, no word on their Internet Tough Guy Magazine subscription status
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Italian ferry with hundreds of passengers catches fire in the Adriatic Sea and CNN still has one wish left
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
It is next to impossible to actually find a jury of one's peers. Could you imagine a jury made up entirely of Farkers?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If there's one thing that unites true Alaskans, it's that they all worry about ocean acidification yet at the same time they all have no idea what ocean acidification actually means
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If you must smoke crack, there's a time and a place. Being hooked up to oxygen in an ICU is not one of them
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Good: Friend that you haven't seen since basic training during the Vietnam War turns out to be your neighbor of 18 years. Ehh: You find out when your wife and the guy started trading emails about birds
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
VP Joe Biden's heartfelt eulogy at slain NYC policeman Rafael Ramos' funeral. Nothing more
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these five senses
source: senselondon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Heroes age too
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Remember the ex-pastor that pledged to be an atheist for a year? Looks like he might be an atheist for a bit longer than he planned
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dec 26, 1776, his Lordship Lieutenant General Charles Cornwallis visits Trenton, New Jersey and gets his butt kicked. Trenton, New Jersey still very much the same today
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Drug snitch rats out police handlers, himself when his false info lead to SWAT raid where innocent man got shot dead in own bedroom. Snitch got to keep his $395 fee though
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
A Ho, hippo / it's not a dinosaur / jumps off a truck and then gets stuck / A Ho, hippo
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
If you absolutely must try and rob the sports bar you are drinking at you might want to find a better weapon than a broom handle
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Want to build 70-acre amusement park, a 400-room hotel, nearly a half-million sq ft retail development and a 35,000-square-foot theater on environmentally sensitive land? Just get local politicos to declare it a blighted slum
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
The Oregonian gets up to speed with one of the original Faces of Meth and, well, yeah
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're one of the 450 people who took advantage of Orlando International Airport's Quick Parking, the Orlando police department has some bad news for you
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
As 2014 comes to a close, relax and enjoy the funniest piece of writing that isn't Fark's Headline Of The Year contest. It's Dave Barry's Year In Review
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The McRib is back. Yes, yes, yes, foodies; we know it's nothing more than a sesame seed-encrusted turd straight from the bowels of Lucifer himself. We'll pretend we didn't see you buying a sackful of them
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
U.S.: "Nice internet you have there, North Korea. It'd be a shame if something happened to it again"
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 27, 2014
(Coral Springs Talk)
 
 
 
Normally, it's a pass on a male model who claims to have found the best public restroom in Fark's favorite state, but this guy may be right
source: coralspringstalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Attractive 39-year-old former criminal barrister turned diet expert: "It's YOUR fault you're fat. When you buy sweets because you're starving remember this: someone slimmer than you was feeling the same, but THEY ate an apple, then went for a run"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
AirAsia flight from Indonesia to Singapore requests unusual route and then disappears. Let the conspiracy theories begin
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prediction that religions are dying out, mainly because people in rich countries have more entertaining things to do with their time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Facebook: Sorry for posting the death of your daughter in the Year-in-Review of 2014
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Motley Fool)
 
 
 
So what's In-N-Out Burger doing on Glassdoor's 2015 list of 50 Best Places to Work? Double-double animal style for starters
source: fool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Would you minions even know how to unwrap such a posh chocolate?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Denver man buys PS4 from Walmart only to find the box is filled with rocks. Don't worry guy, most PS4s were total bricks this week anyway
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Man "defied the odds" and survives motorised bar stool crash. What are the odds of surviving a motorised bar stool crash?
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Walrus)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mysterious musicians
source: d817ypd61vbww.cloudfront.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"So did you get anything at the mall today." "I got a black eye"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
The Wild Wild West is alive in Texas. Motorist sees man beating woman in another car, forces him to pull over then holds him at gunpoint until the police arrive
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Coming up at 11, an explosive story .... How not to demolish a building
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Transgendered people are apparently the Trekkies of sexuality
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
French city installs cages around benches to keep the homeless out, Scrooge nods his head in approval
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Woman ordered to undergo mental evaluation after throwing bacon and sausage in a police station. If you waste bacon like that, you deserve to be mentally evaluated
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Columbia Journalism Review names Don Lemon the worst journalist of 2014. CNN immediately blames Columbia University for orchestrating the disappearance of MH370, Bill Cosby's rape fetish, and the Sony Hacking scandal
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Smelly Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create a new perfume brand (LGT goes to blank perfume bottle)
source: brissi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Getting busted huffing in a Walmart bathroom on Christmas Eve is no way to go through life, mommy
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 19 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Despite orders to take it down, zombie nativity scene REMAAIIIINNSS in place
source: fox19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Climate change is affecting Pinot Noir production, forcing vintners to move to Washington and Oregon
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
North Korea blames the U.S. for the country's internet outage, then says racist things about President Obama. The time to strike is NOW
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hundreds of foreign politicians and business leaders shocked *SHOCKED* to discover that their affair with the hot little North Korean translator was really a part of a secret plot to grow an army of western-looking spies, extort money and favors
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Fire dept: ''At the risk of sounding like a Christmas tale, the cause of the fire was believed to be sun refracting through a snow globe in the shop window which then ignited 'reindeer food' and fake snow material in their window display"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's good to teach students about the evils of Hitler. But just don't do it with Lego people and questions like, "Why is Hitler wearing a witch's hat?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Party on Rhode Island, you beat out Colorado for having the most stoners
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Arabiya)
 
 
 
Activist enlivens Vatican Nativity scene by reenacting Baby Jesus' first meal while topless (w/SFW pic)
source: english.alarabiya.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Obviously doing traffic stops using emergency lights, fake badges didn't ensure "no one would mess with him"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
Charges include attempted murder, possessing explosives, and keeping a rabbit
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Can traffic in China get any worse? Let's add a runaway ostrich and see what happens
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Turns out, there is a good time for a boat to land on top of your roof
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medina-Gazette)
 
 
 
The one good time when your husband blasts you with a shotgun is when you find an undiagnosed heart condition and it saves your life
source: medinagazette.northcoastnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian police find cocktails in a car. Difficulty: Molotov cocktails
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Even if your husband's a "horrible person," it's not worth using car title loans to hire a hitman to kill him. Those interest rates are murder all by themselves
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radikal Foto)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blank block of wood
source: s011.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus - at least for over 1,000 stolen cats who have been recovered in time to save their lives. Bonus: over 300 have already been reunited with their families, just in time for a very Merry Caturday
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The garden columnist's dilemma: Should I publish advice about how to grow marijuana?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If your doctor invites you over to his house, asks you to put on his wife's clothes, offers drinks, of course you're going to wake up in his bed with a few hours missing
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman with a rare condition that has lead to her breaking or dislocating every bone in her body, says she's playing it safe and sticking to skateboarding
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Ten things not to buy in 2015. TotalFark still highly recommended
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Nutmeg, the go-to spice for Christmas, has a dark, secret, deadly history that is more appropriate for Halloween
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Illegal drugs and prostitution have helped propel Britain to the #5 spot on the worldwide list of best economies
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 26, 2014
(Fark)
 
 
 
And now, a very special Boxing Day episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mexican priest who spoke out against the country's spate of violence was found murdered on Christmas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"...Overall, Google received 3,105 requests from world governments between July 2013 and December 2013 to wipe 14,367 pieces of content"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Toll booth worker hands out ticket with #icantbreathe handwritten on it. Now #hecantwork
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Before the internet, the only place people could ask questions about searching for fetish pornography, My Little Pony toys, and song lyrics were libraries. And here are some of the most bizarre questions ever asked of librarians
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You know things are bad out there when the men who are robbing you find out you have no money and take your three-week-old puppies instead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trophy admiration
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Do not roll a joint when a police motorcycle is next to you
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Staying in a Marriott hotel? Hope you like paying their wifi fee. You're going to use your phone? Good luck with that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Whose fault is it that airline travel sucks so bad? Yours, mainly
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this playing with fire in the water
source: madisonmovie.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ebola is a U.S. bio-weapon. ISIS is a Jewish-led creation of Israel and the CIA. Get the real story, sheeple
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Neil deGrasse Tyson decided to acknowledge Sir Isaac Newton as the most important figure born on December 25th, something that irritated Christians who think Jesus was born in December and not February
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Man drives to Temecula on Christmas day just to kick some guy's ass over Kobe beef
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
NYPD arrests 7 people for saying mean things about them. The First Amendment was on its way to help but got detained by a stop and frisk
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Venture Beat)
 
 
 
Académie française wants you to STFU with the LOL although IFIYGD and YMWAHAYFSOE are both sort of okay
source: venturebeat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Fecal bacteria is lurking in the waterways of Wasilla, Alaska, which I'm sure nobody will try to turn into a political metaphor
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gesundheit. *POW*
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Jesus, Mary, and Josef Stalin
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
It isn't really Christmas in L.A. until the palm trees burst into flames
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You're not going to believe this, but jihadis have likely reached 'Peak ISIS.' Apparently you can only promise "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" so many times before they start to question your ability to deliver
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair-flipper
source: careergirlnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Doctor)
 
 
 
If you're a surgeon about to perform surgery on a woman's son, don't try to assure her that everything will be okay while you're eating a jelly doughnut. And whatever you do, don't let her see you drop jelly onto the hand you'll be operating with
source: livewellnebraska.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Depending on how high and adventurous you are, there are at least 17 different things you can cook on a waffle iron, including crab cakes, grilled squash, and sticky rice with tofu
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh hospital sends babies home in Christmas stockings. It's the ultimate stocking stuffer
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Not sure what to do with your old Christmas tree next week? Feed it to the goats. "It takes less than an hour for the goats to strip the tree bare"
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
And they might have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddlesome Orthodox nuns living at St. Nilus Skete
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
18-year-old man and his 42-year-old wife arrested for stealing Christmas decorations, his defense? "Well, this is my job"
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you know who swapped the baby Jesus with a real pig's head the Haverhill police would like a word with ya
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
One man's trash is another man's opportunity to shoot at people
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Bear that had been foiling Game Department officials for three days captured in suburban Phoenix backyard. Thank good-a-ness for bait pic-a-nic baskets
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 25, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Daily Mail would like to remind you that of all the dumb shiat you do this Christmas, don't drunkenly burn down the house heating up your Hot Pockets
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Washington DC's panda cub Bao Bao has come down from his tree. You may rest easy now
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Here are 12 places to sleep before you turn 50. No, that's not on the list
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Black Santa. White Santa. Asian Santa. Turns out, kids don't really care, as long as the fat man delivers
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
A list of things lodged in people's rectums this year. "Head" mysteriously absent
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Hideous, sharp-kneed, hambeast cheer mom arrested for having sex with a 17-year-old boy in a parked car
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop this known landmark
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
This just in: Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 never happened. You'll get over it
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they called "Gitche Gumee." The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead when the drunks in a hot tub go swimming
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Obscene Kayak would be a great name for a band
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Thank you Fark. DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Jack Daniels, married by Johnny Walker, names his son Jim Beam. I'll drink to that, that, and that as well
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Design a logo for Santa's toy-making operation
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
After nationwide internet outage, North Korea now struggling to stay online. In other words, things are back to normal
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A tragedy waiting to happen." A dire threat is exposed. And yes, it is rubber bands. What else could it be?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Airline passenger flips out, gets thrown off the plane because: A) Wi-Fi doesn't work. B) cabin is too warm. C) workers wished him Merry Christmas
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Flying United, and trying to change to another empty seat within the same cabin? That's a three day stay in jail
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
The Grinch of Park Slope, Brooklyn has lit up the neighborhood with fear after stealing all the Christmas lights off the trees
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Christmas Day "relative rage" usually kicks in at 3:45 PM... Earlier if the booze runs out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
You can now have a beer delivered with your pizza in Pennsylvania
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Star (UK))
 
 
 
"Zero alcohol limits for drivers are on the way. There's no longer any credible argument against them"
source: newsandstar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
You might be in Australia if you find yourself at a festival where 200 sheep wearing red-woolen socks are released into the streets
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
100 years ago today, for a few brief moments, tidings of great joy and peace crawled out of the trenches. Here's a BBC doc on the Christmas Truce of 1914. Joyeux Noel
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Streetlight)
 
 
 
Unknown flying object hovering over a Colombian forest caught on tape. No, it's definitely not Santa
source: oddityworld.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what it takes to raise five biological and 29 adopted children? "Not a lot of people get to do this, and I get offended if people call us an orphanage. We are a home"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Man enduring middle school Christmas concert has what should be a fatal heart attack, but fellow concertgoers armed with defibrillator refuse to let him take the easy way out
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Denver shelters blame legalization of teh Debbil's weed for rise in homeless population, not lack of jobs and affordable housing
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you're visiting France for the first time, expect to see street protests, babies eating adult food, and the bourgeois get upset when you start talking about how much money you make
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this canine grab
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
Crack can kill you. Especially if you hide it in your crack
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
If you were on the streets of Chile, would you want to buy fresh donkey milk?
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
17-year-old girl produces FAQ pamphlet for the holidays because she's tired of answering relatives' dumb questions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Another unarmed black male fatally shot by a white man, this time in Virginia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Mystery shopper dies mysteriously. "If it could happen to her, it could happen to all of us"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Son you are no Army Ranger, no Starbucks coffee for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
And the reviews are in: The Interview sucks
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You exercise to tone your muscles? SUCKER
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Christmas Eve on Cocoa Beach wouldn't be complete without hundreds of surfing Santas
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bluefield Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
West Virginia state troopers: License and registration, please. Thanks, now here's your $100. Merry Christmas
source: bdtonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What do other countries call Santa Claus? If you believe this map, come for Yule Goat, stay for Christmas Log
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
FCC: We have lost 600,000 comments concerning Net Neutrality
source: dslreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
We have found the Holy Grail... of shipwrecks, that is
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 503: "Seasons' Greetings 8" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 24, 2014
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The worst crime in New England in the winter? Wreath rustling
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is don't pretend to be the best friend of someone who just got shot... and never fark with Anonymous
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
Sharing your bed with an infant, which used to be OK, and then became the WORST THING EVER, is now OK again
source: commonhealth.wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Hey Center for Disease Control, what part of Disease Control do you not understand?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(InToday)
 
 
 
Protip: Before you light the funeral pyre, you might want to make sure that Grandpa is, in fact, dead
source: indiatoday.intoday.in   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
911: What's your emergency? Idiot: My wife won't shut up and let me sleep in peace
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peek-a-boo
source: 33.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Keep clucking that chicken
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Prosecutors seek arrest warrant in nut scandal. Wooden slat chair wanted for questioning
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Captain Steroid presents his 5th Annual X-Mas Photoshop Contest. Theme: Drunken Santa. Difficulty: NO TFers. Winner gets one month of FREE TotalFark. Contest ends at 11pm CST tonight. Merry Christmas, one and all. :-)
source: i1182.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
The self described "redneck" uncle of Brittany Maynard has a new outlook on assisted suicide after getting a heart transplant proving you can never actually change someone's mind
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying selfie
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
If you took a giant Santa hat that's 27 feet long and more than 17 feet around off the head of a brick sculpture in Indiana to get it dry-cleaned, please give it back, no questions asked
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
As of now, tens of millions of people haven't even begun their Christmas shopping, and 100 percent of those people are guys
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Spilled cash on Hong Kong roadway makes early Christmas for some. "They looked like school kids who knew they were being naughty, but thought, 'this is a once in a lifetime thing'. Everyone had the same look on their face"
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KeysNet)
 
 
 
"I on holiday from Switzerland. I drunk"
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
"U.S. Customs and Border Protection has designated Santa Claus as a low-risk traveler"
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Monkey 'A' saves Monkey 'B' after shocking fall from electric high wires, only does what Monkey 'C' would do
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The USDA has some helpful holiday food advice to make sure you don't accidentally kill your family this Christmas
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Turns out, there's really no need for you to avoid tequila after what happened last time
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The only reason Alaska's tallest mountain is named Mt. McKinley and not something like Bulshoe, Densmore, or Denali is because in 1897 a prospector there wrote a letter to the New York Sun
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There are a lot of 'Best Of' lists going around this time of year, but I bet you haven't yet seen the Best Aurora Borealis videos of 2014
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I've had with these motherfarking farts on this motherfarking plane
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This is your brain. This is your brain on 36 litres of ketchup. Think about it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Video gaming could be most exciting addition to Olympics since synchronized swimming
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
100 years ago tonight: The Christmas Truce
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Award for most ridiculous American lawsuit in 2014 goes to Utah goblin toppler's personal injury filing for claiming "serious and debilitating injuries from a car accident" before being filmed later destroying ancient rock formation by hand
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
You've just won this year's eggnog chugging competition. Congrats, here's your $50 gift card to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and your bill for a three-day hospital stay. Merry Christmas
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why Jews eat Chinese food on Christmas? Here comes Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan to explain why
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Kurds weigh the value of independence
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Historians say Jesus was not born in A. D. 1, there was no magically bright star in the skies at that time, and there is no way Joseph would be hanging out with a pregnant Virgin Mary unless he was already bonking her
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: My daughter lives at home, a 22 year-old Ivy Leaguer going to law school. One day, I looked on her computer and found sexually explicit pictures of her with men and women. Overlooking the violation of privacy, what should I do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shopping friar
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The former treasurer for the Paedophile Information Exchange has been jailed for 13 years for... ah hell, you fill in the rest
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Sony hack was an INSIDE JOB
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Think your daily commute is bad? Virginia man travels 7 hours round trip to work. "I literally go through 11 counties, cross four rivers and three major cities"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 23, 2014
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Eric Garner's daughter attends memorial for slain NYPD cops and says, "It hit my heart because I know what it feels like with this upcoming season and you don't have your father around, I know firsthand what you're feeling"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
School decides to eliminate bus stops in areas that are deemed within a walk zone of the school. And shockingly someone has a problem with this
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
The old Christmas stories are the best; like the one where two friends have a fight, one bites the other, and the bruise looks like the face of Jesus
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Who was the whiniest whiner that ever whined in 2014? (Some not safe for workish pics)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
Wow. Such panda. So dog
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
If you had "a day" in the "How long until someone went apeshiat over the Satanic display in the Florida Capitol," collect your winnings
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Police determine suspicious 'Secret Santa' gift is actually Nickelback CD, immediately destroy it
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
While the TSA was confiscating your nail clippers last week, rest assured that airport employees were only able to smuggle a few dozen loaded firearms in carry on luggage
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
One of the SEALs who claims he shot bin Laden may have revealed classified information to the media, and the Navy isn't super thrilled about it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW Akademie)
 
 
 
Yeah hello, I was wondering if my renter's insurance covers the theft of my bird. Yeah, it's a $180,000 pigeon. Hello?
source: dw.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this brave wave rider
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monterey Herald)
 
 
 
Hello, ma'am, this is the police. Do you want your 1967 Mustang back? You do? Darn
source: montereyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Jimmy the War Donkey was born in a trench in no man's land. Take that, Jesus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Listen unemployed lady, you can't just use Airbnb to support yourself with an extra $78,000-a-year income using your four bedroom apartment
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man "accidentally" sells his girlfriend's cat before he moves in with her
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In yet another front in the war on Christmas, government tells Ohio man to take down his Nativity display
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
And I don't even know why, the truth seems like a lie. In my cab there is no fee, when I was reporting in Shanghai
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Researchers say torture leaves long-term psychological scars. Quick, someone phone Ric Romero to get the scoop on this unexpected development
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
British man stopped for drunk driving claims to be Vladimir Putin's cousin in attempt to intimidate police. Didn't work
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
Mom "calls" Santa on her naughty kids, cops pull over mom and threaten to impound her car
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Let your kids play outside? That's a call to CPS and cops with gun drawn at you and your kids
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Man gets 60-hours in the hawk's rehabilitation nest for shooting protected hawks
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Hello, 911? Yeah, you just arrested my son for stealing packages from peoples' porches...and I found some more stuff he stole. (Cool tag is for no-nonsense parents)
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge, Christmas Cookie Edition
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Census Bureau)
 
 
 
Florida is breeding, becomes America's third most populous state
source: census.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heartland Connection)
 
 
 
Iowa man sentenced for neglecting his animals, facial hair
source: heartlandconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Las Vegas sinks to new low in tacky Christmas decorations and hangs a dead tree trimmer from a palm tree
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
We apologize for this truly tasteless radio stunt. Well, perhaps not tasteless, perhaps a little bitter though I'm told the whipped cream helped (Not safe for workish)
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Homeless man given $100 heads directly for the liquor store. FARK: It doesn't end like you're thinking
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fort Wayne Journal Gazette)
 
 
 
Church learns an expensive lesson about being overly obsessed with an employee's fertility treatment
source: journalgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
How a man spent a night with his mother in a Bangkok sex hotel and learned how to communicate with her at Christmas
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
When humans got lazy and took up farming, their bones got wimpy. Jeremiah Johnson is here. To pump. You up
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian PM warns of increased terror chatter. Color coded alert system, a decade-long war of choice, and a total rejection of morals and ethics in the name security to follow
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As mom always said - brush your teeth twice a day, always wear clean underwear, and never do a wedding dance with live rifles
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Ever dream of pulling off a bank heist where you and your crew swap gold-painted bricks of lead for the real thing? These guys in Ukraine are living that dream
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFAB Omaha)
 
 
 
Dude gets pissed and punches out a Redbox
source: kfab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Work begins on trans-Nicaragua canal, to be completed by 2019 - although the accompanying palindrome is expected to take somewhat longer to finish
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FStoppers)
 
 
 
But really, who hasn't wondered what $1.5 Billion in new Airbus A-350 jets flying in formation would look like?
source: fstoppers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hoaloha)
 
 
 
"The Winter Storm Watch has been cancelled and replaced with a Blizzard Watch, bringing with it the possibility of 6 inches of snow, winds gusting up to 95 mph,and temps in the 20's. This has been your weather for Hawaii. Stay tuned for sports"
source: bigislandvideonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
North Korea: Releasing The Interview would be an act of war. Sony: Challenge accepted
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Residents of a Toronto street decorate their neighbourhood with 45 giant inflatable Santas
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Satanic church unveils their holiday display at the capitol building, and it's surprisingly tasteful, though it does look like it was designed by a class of fifth graders
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Traveler tells what it's really like in Cuba. "My mobile phone and credit cards don't work, wi-fi is spotty and toilet paper is $1 a piece" The upside? Rum is $3 a bottle
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Expert says blacks trust police more than whites do, really enjoys the refreshing chocolate milk rain springing from the ground in his Bizarro World home
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
German author who spent months with ISIS surprised at the ruthless efficiency with which fear has become their chief weapon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hey, remember how Sony was forced to cancel "The Interview" because they couldn't find any movie theater chains willing to screen it?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Today, we celebrate the holiest of holy days, Festivus. The poles are erected in the family room with care, no tinsel in sight. The ham is cooking, the presents wrapped. So let us, in fine Festivus tradition, air our grievances to the right
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember when teens sneaking a little alcohol on a school trip was the worst that could go wrong? Well, times have changed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Two painted chow chow dogs posing as pandas have been seized from a circus, after tricking children into handing over cash
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Jesus' birthplace grapples with modern traffic challenges. Couldn't they just retcon things so he was born in an area with a better infrastructure?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Supercompressor)
 
 
 
Ever get the feeling that your speakers were designed to be listened to in a sterile, empty lab somewhere? Well, me neither, but these speakers should solve that problem (sponsored link)
source: supercompressor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Journalism Review)
 
 
 
The stories we fell for because they fit our biases win the Columbia Journalism Review's "worst journalism" prize for 2014
source: cjr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Yahoo refused to hire Gwyneth Paltrow because she never graduated college, is history's greatest monster
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Arizona Department of Corrections insists that the 2-hour execution with 15 doses of lethal drugs was not botched
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Guy stupid enough to post "Wings on Pigs" on the Facebook page of a police department looks exactly like you would expect
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Casey Kasem buried in Norway, home of the top fjordy spots across the land
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: My daughter's ballet teacher is actually a dangerous sexual predator. But I've been sworn to secrecy and told not to tell the police. That's a good idea, right, keeping a pedophile's secret?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fruit offering
source: cs14101.vk.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
North Korea Internet service restored. Looks like someone found a new AOL disc
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2014 Headline of the Year contest, Round 4: September through November
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Leg lamp stolen from New York store's display. Police warn citizens to be on the lookout for an annoying child with taped up glasses and a Red Ryder BB gun
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Congratulations to Seattle whose tunnel is now 70% complete. (Or maybe 10%)
source: slog.thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Using iPads before bed can disrupt sleep patterns. There's a nap for that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Red Robin releasing new "The Hangover Cure" burger, though it won't appear on the menu and only be available from January 1st through the 7th. So now, you can be a food hipster at a nationwide chain. Warning: it has mushrooms
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ten signs you're drinking too much. Notably missing: Deleting all the Politics tab threads
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Footballer wakes from a coma speaking fluent French and believing that he's Matthew McConaughey. Bien, bien, bien
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Since more students are failing standardized tests, the time has come to review their validity and usefulness since it's costing schools lots of money
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Stomping on a panhandler until he suffers brain damage is technically illegal in Boston, but you won't go to prison for it
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Owner of Detroit BBQ company: What, you mean posting that I'm happy two cops got killed in New York might not be good for business? Fine. Here's my Facebook apology. We good now?
source: detroit.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Federal agents get paid to surf the Internet and by that we mean they're hunting Nazis and ISIS members
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This insane fried chicken cheeseburger waffle is three burgers at once, because who needs arteries anyway
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you get drunk and end up in France and you can't get back into the country?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
What's the best way to descend after you've flown 8,000 feet above Utah's mountains in a lawn chair tied to 90 helium balloons? Hint: It's a shotgun
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mind Unleashed)
 
 
 
If current trends continue, half of America's children will be autistic by 2025
source: themindunleashed.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 22, 2014
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Coroner cheats himself out of a customer
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"We here at Slate have improved Santa's Christmas Eve delivery route"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: The White Elephant of the Internet
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lone polar bear
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Hey baby, on LinkedIn, I've been endorsed for my skills in Horizontal Directional Drilling and Tender Submissions
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man sends joke text to friend on jury duty at rape trial. Ha ha ha ha *CLANG*
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Crowd chants 'kill a cop' (once the Fox affiliate edits out a few syllables)
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coed)
 
 
 
What the Elf on the Shelf does when no one is watching
source: coed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Filling out Secret Santa forms for an office worker can be quite stressful, unless you are this guy
source: thedailyedge.thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
World's most expensive Christmas tree worth every penny. Just kidding, it's as ugly as Santa's used underwear
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
PSA: When going target shooting later it's a good idea to leave your cache of weapons at home and not in your car, in the high school parking lot
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
In a simply amazing coincidence with absolutely no relationship to world events whatsoever, North Korea's internet is down. All of it
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Don't mess with Mrs. Claus. Santa is packing heat
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Joran van der Sloot offered to tell Natalee Holloway's mom where the body is. For $250,000
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Tribune Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dash of color
source: trbimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
And you thought "Jerry Springer" was bad: Popular new Iraqi TV reality Show "in the Grip of the Law" Features former ISIS members being confronted by their victims
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three-year-old girl discovers fairy doll has male genitalia. Ken seen sulking in corner
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Calls go out in New York for Racial Healing, Marvin Gaye's lesser-known single
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Airline barf bags disappearing as more fliers have the lasagna
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
NewsFlash
 
Joe Cocker not feeling too good himself, reunites with John Belushi
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In response to Taliban's mass killing of school kids, Pakistan announces it will execute 500 Taliban prisoners. That will surely put a stop to all the ongoing violence in Pakistan
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Judge will determine whether or not it's legal for churches and volunteers to feed the homeless. "It's insane to think it's come to this"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hackney Gazette (UK))
 
 
 
"Stupid" thief tries to rob neighbors, is foiled by bowls of water left on the floor by the homeowner to deter burglars, then cops just follow his footprints back home. Seriously, calling this guy a thief is like calling Hani Hanjour a pilot
source: hackneygazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
New TLC Show: My Husband is NOT gay. Let us know how it works out for ya
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Seal found in a distressed state near Liverpool. Apparently still unable to get over the break up with Heidi Klum
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headlines & Global News)
 
 
 
Deaths from car crashes down 25% in the past decade. However, it should be back up to its old levels in no time thanks to the introduction of texting
source: hngn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Michelangelo's David to get $300,000 in upgrades to protect it from earthquakes, including $12,000 worth of wang support
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Attention, women: It's okay to have a drink or two and then breastfeed your child; the so-called "pump and dump" is pretty much a waste
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
British underwear thief hides thousands of pairs in ceiling until the ceiling finally collapses. That's probably not Step 2
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Slow clap for gonorrhea rate decline, Christina Hendricks' boobies-Mad Men show, and Canadian physicists Drs. Terrance and Phillip discuss methane on Mars: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/14 - 12/20
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wausau Daily Herald)
 
 
 
"He told deputies after he was arrested that he went to the barn and performed oral sex on the horse"
source: wausaudailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Hackers have taken over South Korean nuclear plants, storylines from crappy '80s movies
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Argentine judge makes history - declares orangutan a "non-human person" and is entitled to all basic rights
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Nevada Senator proposes bill to allow dogs in bars. Your dog wants a vodak on the rocks
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
BBC reporter stands too close to burning opiates. Bad reporting. Good giggling (link replaced)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this blessing
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You may get a better night's sleep if you live in a glass house. Just don't throw any stones
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Instead of being called brats, woman proposes that children born into military families who often have to relocate be called CHAMPS. "Child Heroes Attached to Military Personnel"
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
FBI says Best Korea© responsible for cyber attack. Lil' Kim denies it, but now is saying the U.S. helped Sony in the production of the film and if we retaliate they will "blow up our citadels"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You may be the world's most productive sufferer of OCD if you take thousands of seeds and stitch them into a ghostly textile
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Caption this camel
source: l3.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
Hugs found to boost your immune system, probably because hugging people in winter is about as sanitary as cuddling up to a toilet in a gastro ward
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elite Daily)
 
 
 
Is working at a job you hate worse than being unemployed? Survey says ... yes
source: elitedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just a thousand soldiers from the 82nd Airborne deploying to Iraq, move along
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Christians with a sense of humor have developed a Bible-themed set to counter Cards Against Humanity called "A Game for Good Christians." Cards include "What was Peter known to whip out his sword for" and "A fiery bush"
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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